047: The One Thing to Be Confident

 The podcast discusses the concept of confidence and how it relates to questioning oneself. The speakers contend that confidence arises when individuals stop questioning themselves, leading to self-belief and higher chances of success. 

The podcast explores the concept of confidence and self-belief, emphasizing the importance of not questioning oneself. It discusses why people often doubt themselves and suggests ways to overcome these doubts, such as focusing on taking action and letting go of comparisons with others.

Connect with Mike Chang:
- Instagram: @mikechangofficial
-Youtube: Mike Chang
- Website: www.flow60.com

Connect with Stephen Yeh:
-Instagram: @iamstephenyeh
-Twitter: @iamstephenyeh

Transcript

Mike: [00:00:00] There's one mental shift that a person needs to do and they can become confident. And that simply is stop questioning yourself. If a person can not question themselves anymore, they become confident by default, because when we are not confident, we question ourselves. We have doubt. But when we don't question ourselves, then that means we believe that what we are doing, what we are saying, how we are.

is the right thing. We believe in it, which means confidence automatically breeds self belief. So all we have to do is don't question ourselves anymore. Now the first thought here is, how can I go and do the right thing if I don't question it? I might just end up doing random things and do a lot of wrong [00:01:00] decisions in my life.

Well, first of all, If we don't question ourself and we just go and do the thing with all belief, all the self belief, all the confidence, number one, it increases our chance of success because everybody trusts confident people. People trust confident people much more, maybe not a hundred percent, but more versus when a person is unsure of themselves, that breeds distrust.

So therefore, if a person is confident, then. More people will trust them and what they want to do has a higher likely chance of success. Number two, if the person is completely wrong, they were confident and their response, the way they were, their decision was completely wrong. Now they were able to see the [00:02:00] results and realize that the result was wrong.

Next time around, they know not to do it that way. They will do it differently and they will still be confident in their new way, new approach in doing it. And if somehow it was wrong again, then the same thing happens. Then the third time, this person is going to be confident in themselves and create the best chance, the highest chance of success, because again, confident breeds trust in other people.

So therefore, even if we weren't the smartest person out there and we weren't making all the best choices, but if we were confident and we stop questioning ourselves, we always end up creating. The best outcomes we end up moving forward in our life towards our goals faster than if we were to question ourselves all the time.

Stephen: I mean, that makes a lot of [00:03:00] sense, because especially, I deal with people and I'm on calls with people who sometimes takes years before they take action. And it's because they weren't sure they're not certain, but the people who I'm talking to, they want to start new businesses and of course, they're going to be in some ways, not sure of how to do every single thing because they've never done it before.

But if you've talked to people who've actually succeeded in, terms of business or in terms of any other aspect of life as well, you're never going to know everything. There's insane amounts of complexity within any area of life. And for us to try and figure it all out before taking an action, you're just not going to get anywhere.

Now, with that said, as you were talking about all of this, I did also imagine. The [00:04:00] Matrix and Neo on top of, the building and just thinking, okay, don't question it. Just jump, just jump off the building. And I was like, okay. He questioned. The moment 

he said don't question 

Stephen: that. It's, it's absolutely right.

It's, it's ;absolutely right. and that's why in this lifetime, I'm not going to be jumping off a hundred foot building. But, but that there is huge, and in, in some ways. I do feel that most of the things in life, if you apply this principle, it'll do you so damn well. What would be a place, that 

would not apply because principles should be a hundred percent accurate and there should not be any other. If there is one thing that doesn't work, okay, it's not a principle 

Stephen: Random example. . Mm-hmm . If you have a hundred percent belief [00:05:00] that you go and jump off. An airplane without a parachute and that you're going to land on your two feet. If a person has a hundred percent, , that to me becomes delusional.

Mike: Okay. So if a person has a hundred percent belief, then we need to question, why is that? Maybe this person can do something that other people cannot. That's just like saying people can move things with their mind. We see it happening all the time now. It's called telekinesis. If they can move things with their mind, why can't they go ahead and move their own body?

Why can't they just levitate? Why can't they just go and fly? So then we go, well it's not possible. How do you know what is possible and what is not when there are infinite possibilities? So, again, if a person, knows, then they don't question. If [00:06:00] a person not believes, if they know that they can jump off this plane without a parachute, and they're going to be fine, then go do it.

Delusional, a person that is delusional, they are beyond just questioning themselves. They question themselves so much that they became delusional. A person that is delusional lives in a big question mark in their head. They question who they are. They question every single thing in their life. That is the outcome of delusional, that is the path towards there.

A person that does not question anything will never become delusional. 

Stephen: I think there's some truths in that, but I, I think there's also quite a bit of holes. Right, because essentially, I'm just imagining, let's say even kids. Kids have, They, they doubt themselves much, much, much less than adults.

And you can see when they're playing and let's say if they're embodying a superhero [00:07:00] or, you know, Spider Man or Superman or whatever they watch, and they're fully embodying that. And they go about their life and boom, they're trying to do certain things just because they have a hundred percent belief that they are those characters.

It doesn't, it doesn't magically give them those superpowers. 

Mike: Who says that they have 100 percent belief? 

Stephen: Hmm? Maybe they don't. 

Mike: You know? , do we just assume? I mean, they're playing. So, we have to assume here that if you say they have 100 percent belief, then that means they don't think they're playing.

Think about kids, how often they play. We, we can probably agree that's like every day, right? No matter where they're at, no matter what type of lifestyle, luxury, poverty, kids play. They can play with rocks. They can play with toys. They can play with electronics. They're playing. They're kids. , if they have a hundred [00:08:00] percent, if they believe that they have superpowers, And that they can fly, then there'll be a lot of kids jumping off of buildings, flying, believing they can fly, right, knowing they can fly, right, when they can't.

But that's not happening. So therefore, they are still Whether they are playing, when they play, they still know that they are playing and that they can't fly. We have to really look at this question in real context, right? Not like, if this was happening, then what would it be? But it won't happen that way.

To have that happen, this context wouldn't even fit. 

Stephen: I, I still questioned doubt this quite a bit, I'm also just imagining, let's say beyond all the superpower stuff, just real world example of someone who, has never [00:09:00] properly trained in boxing or mixed martial arts, but they just think they're bad asses.

Okay. 

Stephen: And you have plenty of people who think, , that they're complete bad asses. But then when they go up against someone who's actually trained, who spent years upon years training their body, learning technique and sparring and doing all these things, they have no chance, right? Agreed. They're like babies, right?

Right. So, so belief alone. It's not going to get them to that level and that's also why I, I'm thinking, but we're not talking about 

Mike: belief or confident. We're talking about is if we don't question things, we become confident. So this person that doesn't question that they didn't train that, that they don't question their skills.

They go up against somebody who trains, they're going to lose. But nothing is wrong with that. This still [00:10:00] doesn't change the fact that when a person doesn't question themselves, they are confident and that they have a higher chance of succeeding when they are confident. 

Stephen: Absolutely. Absolutely. 

It doesn't mean that if they're confident that they're going to do everything that they believe they can do, that they're going to win, that they're going to accomplish things, that they're always right.

It has nothing to do with that. Confidence isn't that. Confidence is simply. A state where a person does not question themselves, that there is no doubt inside of them. That's all. But think about the amount of people out there that want to be confident, that want to believe in themselves. Can you just imagine how many people out there would desire that?

Just to be more confident. To have more self belief, to trust themselves more, like how bad they want that. And all they [00:11:00] have to do is stop questioning themselves. There cannot be any bad thing that happens from that, that can outweigh questioning themselves. Oh, well, they're so confident they're not going to question themselves when they jump off this building.

Really, what would get them to want to jump off the building? Hmph. You see, it's like, well, uh, uh, they believe they can fly. What got them to believe they can fly 

Stephen: space jam. I believe I can fly. 

Mike: What got them to believe that that video, that that movie is a representation of real life. You see, when we look at this statement, if we don't question ourselves, we become confident.

If you were to go ahead and ask a million people, would their life be better if they were confident and have self belief and trust in themselves? What do you think the answer is going to be? What do you think the majority of the people are going to say? 

Stephen: [00:12:00] Absolutely. Right? 

I think we all agree. 

Stephen: But 

the fact is that it's not happening to these people.

They are not confident. They don't have the level of self belief that they could. And it's simply because they are questioning themselves. And they can go ahead and take a look at this in a very logical viewpoint. Take a look at what it really means. And once they go and wrap their head around this whole concept, we come to the conclusion, there's no need to question that if we just went ahead and take action and have the confident in the things that we want to do, we will move forward And light years faster than if we were to go and have self doubt and not believe in ourself.

Stephen: Why do you think people question themselves so much? 

Mike: They think they don't know enough. [00:13:00] They think they aren't good enough. They believe in scenarios that aren't true. So the first one, they believe they don't know enough. They think they need to be an expert before they go do something because they're afraid of failing.

Number two, they believe that they're not enough altogether. They see themselves as less because they always compare themselves to other people. Number three is they believe in an outcome that's not true. They believe, hey, if I do this, people are going to laugh at me. If I do this, everybody's gonna judge me.

If I do this, I'm gonna be judged. I'm going to look really dumb and people are going to think this of me. They're believing all of this. And the fact is, it's not true. Most people just don't care. They're not going to waste their time thinking about other people that much. It's not that big of a deal to them. but 

People in their mind will play out their [00:14:00] biggest fears. And then when they play out their biggest fears, they're going to believe that it's real because they are seeing it and then they can feel it in their own body. And they'll believe that this is a real outcome. That's a high chance of happening.

When in reality, the chance of that happening is low, but they don't know that. And so they keep focusing on it, and the focusing on that, well, keeps them from believing themselves. It keeps them constantly questioning themselves. And so if we look at the first, right, they don't know enough. The second, they think they're not enough.

The third, they come up with scenarios in their mind. Well, all of this all fits together. They think they don't know enough. Well, who knows a lot when they first start, right? Nobody. So, they're not supposed to know a lot. They just need to know enough to do that first step. To do that seventh step. They just need to know enough to Do what it is they're going to do.

And [00:15:00] they don't know enough. Well, find out the information and if you can't find it out, or it takes too long, you lost momentum, then you might as well go ahead and fall forward. Do as much as you can do. And then the rest, they don't know how to do. Be okay with not knowing and maybe you end up finding support, finding help.

Maybe it'll come to you in the process, because in the process, as you're doing something, you're getting information, you're getting feedback, there's results happening, and that results feeds the next step feeds what to do next. So therefore. A person just needs to let go of this idea that they don't know enough and instead, just move forward.

And the act of moving forward will give them a lot of information that they didn't have before. Second thing, they think they're not enough because they're comparing against everybody. Because they believe in what somebody told them. They need to stop constantly focusing on themselves and constantly judging themselves and rating themselves and putting themselves on a scale against other [00:16:00] people.

Because if they do, they'll always end up losing. They lose because they put themselves against somebody who has more, who has done more, than themselves. And then therefore, they look little. They lose when they put themselves against somebody who has less. Because now they act cocky. There's a difference between cocky and confidence.

Confidence is we don't question ourselves. Cocky is we are in a state of lack and we're needing to prove ourselves. So we act confident. So all we gotta do is stop comparing. Stop spending so much time comparing. Stop spending so much time listening to other people's lives. Listening to what they're saying.

Stop focusing so much on other people and all their life and focus on our own life and about our own desires and about our own events that are happening because that's how we can move forward in our own life towards our own goals. [00:17:00] And then the last thing there, playing out scenarios. People play out all these scenarios in their mind, just to go and get themselves to be scared and they're doing it unknowingly.

Stop thinking so much about all the worst case scenario. First, focus on the best case scenarios. And then after that, spend some time on worst case. So this way we have a plan and then now that we have a plan for the worst case, focus the rest of your attention on best case and take action. But people get stuck on the worst case and then they keep playing the worst case in their mind to the point to where most of their attention is focused on the worst case.

And now they get scared and then they have to question themselves constantly. Lack of confidence when they do actually take the action. It's not something that, changes quickly. But every time when a person can not question themselves, every single time that they don't do that, they start [00:18:00] moving that needle.

They start to move towards confidence. The amount of decisions that we make every single day is a lot. And when we make those decisions, don't question those decisions. Make them. And if we realize that we were wrong shortly after, Change them, change them with confidence. Make them with confidence, change them with confidence.

You see, never be that wishy washy. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. People are so used to saying, I don't know if they really, really don't know, then fine. Okay. Then say, I don't know, and then move on. 

Stephen: You can also say, I don't know very confidently too. 

Mike: I don't know very confidently.

Yeah, exactly. I don't know, without questioning. I don't know, but do I? Do I really not know?

It's just a way of [00:19:00] being that creates the confidence and self belief that we want. This way of being it changes everything in our life and just takes time. 

Stephen: I'm just thinking about it energetically as well, because when you are in that wishy washy state, it just feels like It uses so much energy and fuel because you're not getting anywhere, but you're, still so active, right?

You're still thinking about so much stuff. You're still questioning things, but nothing is changing. So you're stagnant. And especially if you stay there too long, then it starts to go more towards a downward trend as well. 

Yeah, it's just draining. It's just this constant, constant thing inside that's draining.

When we question ourselves, the questioning, that energetic drain costs us so much more than if we were to get it wrong a lot of times. [00:20:00] People don't calculate that. They just calculate. The mistakes they made, but they don't calculate the cost of questioning the cost of that energetic drain, the cost of confusion, the cost of lack of attention and focus, because in the back of their mind, they have all these questions about things.

They don't calculate that. They just calculate when they did something wrong, but they need to look at these things because the influence is the way we function throughout the day, how we perform, how we show up.

Stephen: There we go, guys. Don't question yourself and confidence breeds self belief. So thanks again for listening to another episode of Body Over Minds and we will see you on the next [00:21:00] episode.