056 : If Sickness is Ruining You Or Your Family, Hear This!

This episode discusses the challenges and insights Mike has gained from helping his own family with health issues, particularly in light of the illnesses and deaths of his father and sister. It emphasizes the importance of lifestyle and habit changes for improving health, the difficulty of altering entrenched habits, and the impact of environment and mindset on successful habit formation. Mike shares his experiences and observations about the challenges of motivating family members to adopt healthier habits and the significant improvements possible with dedicated effort and support. 

Connect with Mike Chang:
- Instagram: @mikechangofficial
-Youtube: Mike Chang
- Website: www.flow60.com

Connect with Stephen Yeh:
-Instagram: @iamstephenyeh
-Twitter: @iamstephenyeh

Transcript

Mike: [00:00:00] So it's ironic that I help people with health because my family, people are actually pretty sick. My family's not really healthy. My father's already passed. He had a stroke a while ago, about four years ago. And my sister also passed from cancer. And that was about, about a little over two years ago. So it really shows that even if we're from the same family, if we're from the same genetics, same bloodline, it doesn't actually mean that we are going to be healthy or sick.

It really is dependent on the conditions of how we live our life. I think there are, definitely a lot of factors that is hereditary. However, [00:01:00] we need to focus on more importantly, our lifestyle. Currently, my now the only person left in my immediate family is my, is my mom. And, uh, she's getting by, but not doing very well.

Been wheelchair for a long time now. And I'm actually gonna go see her pretty soon. We're gonna go to the U. S. and go see her. Just because, it's gonna, it's gonna get close. There's a, wouldn't be a surprise if this ends up being the last time we end up seeing her. Would not really be the surprise.

How does 

Stephen: that make you feel? 

Mike: I think like one part of me looks at it and there's, a sense of like, sadness. Like, why could they have just took care of their health? But I understand. I understand. You know, because I work with people every day, helping them on, on trying to build these habits [00:02:00] and with my family, it was, it was no different.

I've always encouraged, my sister and my mom, not so much of my dad, to be honest, he had a stroke when, when I was in my, I was about 30, about 30 years old or so. I told him a little bit here and there but not, like the same way like my sister and mom. But you know, there's that part of me that's like a little sad that they're gone and that my mom's not doing well.

But it becomes like this fuel. It becomes like this reason to help others. To see how many people can I Help prevent things like this happening in their family or for themselves. I don't study statistics. I just look at what's actually happening. And for me, it's really easy to see because it's right here in my immediate family.

So I think a part of it, I think I've used it as, [00:03:00] as this internal, drive, to make an impact. 

Stephen: How do you feel like it? It was challenging to help your family with health. 

Mike: Well, I think we ran into the same challenges that of just any other family. I tell them, hey, you need to do this, uh, this is good, do it this way.

You know, I give the same advice like I would with anybody else. And they tell me the same things that I, that I often hear by everybody else. You know, They try, but it's hard. Okay, I'll do it. Okay, yeah, I should. It's, it rarely ever happens. I think with my sister, she went through some cycles of doing good and then falling off.

My mother a little less. But innately, habits are tough to change. So we have to realize certain things about habits. We have to treat them as, if they are tough to change, Then we can't take them [00:04:00] lightly. We can't go, I'm going to change this habit and just decide that we're going to change it and that somehow we're just going to do it.

It requires a tremendous amount of effort. The bigger that habit, the more effort, especially with habits that we have tried to change in the past. And we've constantly refer back to old ways. Those take a tremendous amount of habit, amount of effort. We have to change internally in our mind.

There needs to be this understanding of why I need to do it differently, why I need to take this new action, why do I need to build this habit, how does it affect my life, how does it affect the people around me, how does it affect my future, how does it affect my goals. There's this whole understanding that needs to happen in our mind.

And then in our environment, we have to do the same, except we need to look at all the things that are distracting us from accomplishing this habit and we need to remove them. At the same time, we [00:05:00] need to adjust. Everything in our environment to make accomplishing this habit easier, remove the obstacles, remove the resistance.

And this includes setting up reminders, removing people from our life, removing certain devices, even changing up furniture, because let's say if a person needs to stretch every day, but they don't have a. Place that they feel comfortable or convenient to stretch. Or the stretching place is way over there and they don't spend much time way over there.

They spend time in this part of the house. Right. So then they need to stretch in this part of the house. And if they think that logically I can just walk across to that part of the house and do it, it's not going to happen because they see in changing habits, isn't so much about just logic. Logic is just one part of it, right?

We've got to have that understanding in our mind. It's [00:06:00] convenience. It's feeling. It's emotional. It's factors like that. I remember I had this experience with my mom, and she just got out of the hospital. She fell over. She was using the restroom. And she stood up, got dizzy, fell over into the bathtub. And was halfway out of the bathtub and halfway in the bathtub, just right there on the edge.

And was so weak that she couldn't get up. And so she just was stuck there for like six hours and nobody was home. So by the time her husband got home, just saw her laying there, he thought she was dead, like she's just laying there and then she came up, he came up close and hold and heard her, make some sounds.

Oh my gosh, she's alive. She's alive. Try to lift her up, but she was dead weight, couldn't move so he couldn't move her So he [00:07:00] called 9 1 1 and , the ambulance everybody came helped her up fractured ribs Bruises everywhere all this stuff. So that was a really big wake up call for her from there It was a decision that she was gonna go live at a nursing home because she couldn't take care of herself And the idea of that freaked her out.

She did not want to go. So then we came up with this plan where I took her to my partner's parents home. And I was there, my partner was there, there's a couple other people that traveled with me, and then there was her parents, so there were like about six of us, and the plan was we're going to bring her there and , get her to exercise, get her in shape, and kind of change her mindset and take her out of like this old environment, , where she's at home and just doing this habitual stuff.

And I was supposed to [00:08:00] only be there for like three days, you know, and my plan was I was going to show her mother what to do to train her and just do some basic stuff. It wasn't going to be complicated, so it wasn't going to be that tough for training, I thought. I ended up staying for three weeks, and we all went to the gym every day.

We joined a local YMCA. And I was training, my partner's mother, I was training my mother, I was training my partner's mother how to train my mother and in, in three weeks, everything changed for her. , this was in South Carolina when she arrived there, she was using one of those walkers, you know, with the tennis balls at the end, , she was wearing those shoes that are super thick and you need to, go get a mold on your foot and, they make it customized.

And that's how she traveled around wearing those shoes, only those shoes, nothing else, and traveling around with this walker and also having, uh, well, she didn't use the wheelchair at that time, [00:09:00] but the walker. So then the moment we went to South Carolina, we arrived, I took the walker away. I said, ah, you don't need this.

Oh, she freaked out , and because you can see what she would do was she was just compensating. She would. Hold on to the walker. She put it in front of her and then she would walk without the walker, but she's holding onto it, but she's not really using it. You can tell she's not needing it, but there was just still so much fear.

And then the fear compensated and, kept her body weak. So for three weeks, we went to the gym. We did all these workouts. We walked around the track. She went from using this Walker and with those special shoes. She still used the shoes, but she was walking so fast she almost could jog three weeks.

And I was very happy, , because I'm seeing these changes on a daily basis. She lost a lot of weight. Her face was slimming down. She must have lost like three inches. Like, off her waistline, [00:10:00] her, she was dropping weight. She felt amazing. Her attitude completely changed. From scared to do all these things, to she was just, Okay, let's do it, yeah.

Just excited and happy. It took a lot of work. It took a lot of work . Not gonna lie. She didn't go willingly. It was like, we were all cheerleaders. It was like this knowing, like, Everybody's here to go and help her. Some of them knew, some of them didn't really sign up for it and it just kind of happened that way because everybody else is like, Come on, you can do it, and they just kind of jump in.

But three weeks gave me a real life example of how fast we can change. How fast our body can adapt. And this is, and she was, I think it was 66, I think. Or 67, so it wasn't like she was super young, and yet her body adapted that fast. So then from there I was feeling good, okay, my work is done, you're going to stay [00:11:00] here for another, I think it was another five weeks, I'm going to head out because I had places I needed to go, things to do.

And I'll come back to pick you up. You know, just keep doing what we're doing every day. You, you got this. You're gonna progress. She's like, okay, she promised, right? But then I, I leave and I come back in five weeks and I, I'm calling her, we stay in contact, of course. And she's like, oh yeah, workout's doing good and telling me about it.

So then five weeks, I show up at the house, I see her and the moment that I see how she moved, I already knew she's not doing what, what we were doing when I was here. And sure enough, we started talking and you know, at first she's, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm doing it. And she was telling me about all the workouts and how excited she is and how great it was.

And I'm looking at her and I'm just like, in my mind, I'm, I want to just say, no, this is bullshit. You're not doing [00:12:00] those things. So I did call her out in a nice way. And eventually we started getting down to what actually happened. You know, she resisted for a little while and just, no, no, no. I'm going to the gym.

Uh huh. Right. Yeah. And then I tell her, I go, mom I've been training people for over two, 20 years now. You can't lie to me on this , it's like training is like gravity. It's like, if you do this, this will happen. If you don't do it, that won't happen. I see how you're moving. You are not doing what we're, what we were doing.

What are you actually doing? And sure enough, , we were doing like 10 laps a day, you know, walking on the track and somehow they decided that two laps a day was going to be fine. They came up with a reason in their mind. And then they did that. And then they just reduced, reduced, reduced, so her health, her strength reduced by about, maybe about 30, 40 percent.

Still, she progressed from when she [00:13:00] first arrived. So I said, you know what, that's fine, okay. So now fast forward, 8 weeks in now, I take her home, she's back in her old environment, and I'm like, okay, just keep continuing, you got the YMCA, go to the gym, you know what to do now. So fast forward, I see her in three months from then, and, uh, she's back to using that walker and, uh, same like how, when I first brought her to South Carolina, and I remember that when I saw her, there was just this, like, everything just kind of dropped inside of me, like, uh, and then I let that go and, hey, it's good to see you, mom , but there was just like this strong letdown.

I was like, immediate. I remember clearly when this happened, because I saw her and I was just like. I was let down, but I didn't stay that way. I let that go because what you can't do all on it. It is what it is already, [00:14:00] but it just, it really, it really shows, it really shows the, the struggle that people go through when it comes to habits.

On, on both ends. On one end, it really shows how amazing this human body is and how fast we can change, how fast our bodies will adapt. I don't care what people say, because people have disbelief. They just don't do it because they don't really realize it. That's number one. There's some people that just don't realize the power that they have in their body.

They don't realize how fast their bodies can actually change. They don't, so they don't do it because they don't believe it. And then there's the, then there's the facts of how hard it is to make change, how hard it is to continue. And, like I was mentioning, like I was mentioning, We can't look at changing habits like it's something simple and easy.

We have to put tremendous amount of effort on all ends, external and internal, if we truly want to go and create long term change. [00:15:00] But there are ways that we can do that. And these ways that I've been mentioning, if people started doing those things, They can increase the length that they stick to habits and there will be some that will actually continue to do it.

Even if somebody was to do a habit like daily exercise and they were to stick to it for three months and then they stop, that three months is going to leave an imprint inside of them, in their body, in their mind, in their belief system that I did it for three months. And even if they were to stop. For three months after that, it's easier to go and start it up now versus somebody else who did it for three weeks and then stopped and then they stopped for three months to start back up as much tougher, right?

Cause they just didn't have that level of imprint. So whether or not someone can do it for the rest of their life doesn't matter. What really matters is how [00:16:00] much can they do it at every time, because every time, every single practice they do, every workout leaves an imprint. If somebody can do it for three months at a time, for example, and then stop, that leaves a deeper imprint than three weeks.

So in order for somebody to stick to three months, they gotta, they gotta change a lot of things, especially for a person who's struggled to, to do that in the past. For more information, visit www. FEMA. gov And I think that's the key because I was there with my mother for those three weeks and I stayed on her.

I didn't do anything else, but I was like my number one priority. And so therefore she was able to succeed. And then removing her from that environment, putting her back into the old environment and not having somebody like me or the other people around, she referred back to old ways really quickly. So I think for some people to think about having making change and just doing a couple of things.

[00:17:00] Like if somebody doesn't have a person in their life, , that can motivate them. They need to hire a trainer, they need to hire a coach, they need to see them three, four, five days a week. They need to find somebody that they can afford, you know, as well, because if not, they can't do it forever. They need to look at this in the long run.

Stephen: Based on what you just said right there, especially for those who have not really begun the journey just yet, it almost feels like it's impossible, nearly impossible. What's the good news? Where's 

the hope?

Mike: Well, I don't, it's not impossible. It's not even close. It's just, they just have to put in the effort.

If somebody, they can't afford to hire somebody to come to their house or they just don't want to work out at home, which I totally understand. It's just, you want to get out of the environment. Then they need to build a habit where they go to a gym and they go to a place. And they need to do it every day, [00:18:00] so it needs to be convenient, needs to be close.

It's putting in that effort, but I think, I think people sometimes don't realize the amount of effort that they need to put in, in order to make that change. I think people think that it's going to be easier. Oh, I'm going to make the change, and then they put in 50 percent effort. They put in 65 percent effort.

And then they fail, they put in 70 percent effort, and then they fail, you know, it's, they get what they put in, right? 70 percent effort for a person could be, they stick to it for two weeks. And then for that same person, if they were to put in 50 percent effort, they stick to it for four days. So they have to, it.

Put in a tremendous amount of effort. They have to try to max it out. Why would they, you know, right? Putting an effort, putting in time, putting attention. Wow. It's so much work. And there's so much other things in [00:19:00] life that takes their time and attention. And that's a part that is really tough for people to understand.

Why do I need to put in so much effort? Why do I need to sacrifice those other things that I could be doing? And then they usually can't come up with an answer that makes sense for them. So they don't. until they visit the doctor, or they experience some type of event that causes them to understand why.

Like my mother, you know. Until then, they may not understand it, but so I think part of the solution is helping people understand what the consequences are, helping them not just logically know it, helping them emotionally feel it, because when people can feel the amount of emotions that they're carrying in their body, it's a direct correlation to their level of health.

If somebody is really emotional on the inside, , their health is not good because their health is dependent on [00:20:00] their energy, not the body is dependent on the energy. Everything's dependent on their energy. And when somebody is carrying a lot of heavy emotions, their energy is very low. Their state of mind is dependent on their energy.

So, on the level of energy, if they're dealing with a lot of heavy emotions, It's a matter of time before the energy is going to break down that physical body. And this is assuming if a person has good habits physically, it will still break it down. So if they don't have good lifestyle habits physically, they're not exercising, they're not moving much then their body is going to break down even faster and they're on their way towards sickness and disease.

If they were to exercise, it would just be slower. So instead of waiting for someone to get to that sickness and disease part. A person that's on their way there may not recognize that they're there, but if the person could feel into their body and [00:21:00] feel the amount of heaviness, feel that sadness, that resentment, that guilt, feel the self shame and pity that they carry around every single day, then that might get a person to decide, I need to make change because my real state of mind, my real state of being is change.

And if they can recognize that, then they might just Decide that making these healthy choices, these healthy changes in their habits is needed right now before their physical body starts to show strong signs of sickness and disease because their body is already showing that it's not healthy, but they don't care because they're still able to function, walk, sit, take some stairs once in a while, but I'm talking strong signs of sickness and disease, right?

They're very different, right? They go check up and someone says you have cancer. They [00:22:00] have extreme pain where they can't do the functions like sit, lay down, walk, right? Strong signs. So, I think if people can read the signs like this, because the emotions are so strong, and if they can see that sign, that could give them the early indication.

So, in other words, to summarize, That early indication of why they need to make a lot of effort now. I think that's the key. That's the first step. 

Stephen: If we were to go back to when you talked about your father and your sister passing away because of sickness, what would you say would be the most important lesson that you learned from that and for others as well?

Mike: Well, one of the lessons is, life happens. There's a balance between what we can change and what we can't change. I tried to go and help them make the [00:23:00] change, but some things are supposed to happen the way they do. And I think that was a very deep but powerful lesson that I learned. Without learning that lesson, I could have easily held on to a tremendous amount of guilt.

Why didn't I? It's on me. I could have helped. I didn't help enough. You know, that type of narrative. I So, that lesson was very powerful. There's things that we have our intention of helping and doing the best we can, and then there's things that are out of our control, like when people are going to go, you know.

The second lesson is, our bodies have the power to adapt, and we are not defined by our genetics, we're not defined by our, by the conditions of our family. That is our starting point, but it doesn't define our future. And we have the power to make a choice every day in our [00:24:00] habits, every day in our lifestyle.

And the choices that we make defines our future. And we combine that with the first realization that there are fate, and there is things that happen in life. And all we can really do is make the best choices that we can, and whatever was supposed to happen is gonna still happen. We don't know what the future is, so we just make the best choice and let it be.

Whatever happens, happens. And there's one more realization. This was something that was tough for me to learn. I had to learn this over and over until I finally started to get it. And that is, not everybody wants to change. And when we try to get them to change and they don't, there's a time to where we need to be okay and accept that they don't want to change.

They don't care to, or they say they will and they don't. And we need [00:25:00] to practice loving them for who they are, and not trying to put our own expectations of how life should be, what they should be doing, how their health should be. We shouldn't do that. Let them have their own experience of life. Respect that they are the decision maker of their life, and that we are here to support what they want, not force them upon what we want.

When I did not get this lesson, I created conflicts in the relationships. I had good intentions, I want them to change, but it actually ended up hurting the relationship. When I finally realized that I can only do what I can do, and they're responsible for their lives. They knew, obviously, that if they [00:26:00] wanted support, I was there.

But I stopped pushing it, and I just accepted that this is what it is right now. And then now, instead of us constantly focusing on their problem, or constantly focusing on what they're not doing, what they should be doing, that type of stuff, our relationship. I had a lot more love in it. We can talk about other things in life.

We can share laughters and moments and that weren't focused on goals, accomplishing this or that. So those are the things that I, that are the biggest takeaways for me. 

Stephen: Well, I think that is quite enough to chew on at the moment. And Mike, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing more about your life and the people close to you and some of the lessons that you learned.

Pulling from the experiences in your life. , if you want to learn more, you can go to flow60. com and other than that, [00:27:00] we will see you on the next episode.