#172 - How Running Helped Me Rebuild My Confidence After A Stroke At 17 | Leah Ball

Content creator and runner Leah Ball joins Ben Sheppard on this week's episode of The RunThrough Podcast to share the incredible story of how a life-changing stroke at just 17 years old completely changed the direction of her life.

Leah reflects on recovering from a stroke as a teenager, rebuilding her confidence after discovering two holes in her heart, and how those experiences ultimately led her to rediscover sport, fall in love with running and build a career as one of the UK's most relatable fitness creators.

Ben and Leah also discuss the power of optimism, learning to embrace different seasons of life, navigating social media as a full-time creator and why running has become so much more than chasing PBs. From marathon breakthroughs to hosting run clubs and building genuine community, this is a conversation about resilience, perspective and finding joy in the everyday.

If you've ever questioned your confidence, faced an unexpected setback or needed a reminder that life can still surprise you in the best possible way, this is an episode you won't want to miss.

Leah Ball - https://www.instagram.com/leahballlifts/

Ben Sheppard - https://www.instagram.com/bensheppard93/

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome back to the Run Through Podcast. It is Ben Shepherd here, and today I am joined by content creator and runner Leah Ball. At just 17 years old, Leah suffered a stroke that completely changed the direction of her life. What followed was a journey of rebuilding her confidence, learning to trust her body again, and eventually discovering a love for running that would go on to shape both her career and the life that she lives today. We talk about recovering from a stroke as a teenager and how now that is relatable to so many others. Finding confidence through movement, becoming a full-time content creator, and why running has become so much more than chasing times or ticking off races. More than anything, it's a conversation about optimism. Leah has an incredible outlook on life, and despite everything that she's been through, she approaches every new challenge with positivity and a genuine excitement for what is coming next. I think it's a wonderful conversation with someone that just oozed his enthusiasm. She's brilliant. Leah Ball is on the Run Through podcast.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

I knew what to do with my fueling this time, like I knew what to expect, and I kind of had like a lot more confidence, this one, that I could push myself to. And then I got a 44-minute PV. I remember the morning I woke up at home after surgery, I would just like burst into tears, and my mum came upstairs and I was like, oh, it's all hit me now. I can see like how it's built my like resilience and confidence since then. Looking back, knowing that I can get through things like that. I wasn't loving life at the time, so I think it was kind of like a bit of like a downward spiral. I just like wanted to get out of my head. And then I think once that's kind of how you've got into drinking, it's hard to then switch that. So I am Leah. Um I'm a content creator full-time now. Um, I've been creating content for like three years now, and um mainly in like the running and fitness space.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

What does it feel like to say like I'm a content creator full-time? Because I'm sure at some point there was like there was that, there was that seesaw moment, right? That was like, yeah, I can kind of do this or I can go down a different road. Like what took you down the path to say, you know what, I'm gonna roll the dice and do this full-time?

SPEAKER_02 2:11

So I started when I was at uni. Um, and so I was in my second year when I first started, and then went on my placement year. And then by the end of my final year was when I could like consider it a full-time job. So then I just decided not to look for crowd rolls and thought, I'm just gonna try it full-time. So for me, it was quite like a seamless transition. I feel like I didn't have to like make the decision to go full-time, if you know what I mean. Like I just kind of happened to which was easier for me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Yeah, I guess. And I think that's the thing, isn't it? Sometimes the best things happen when they just kind of happen, when you don't actually have to make the decision, you just kind of roll with it. Um, let's go all the way back then before sort of content creation layer, I guess, and go back to to childhood, to sport, to to kind of where this aspect came into your life. Have you always been a sporty person? Did you like it as a kid?

SPEAKER_02 3:02

Like when I was like a little kid, I loved it. I was in all the teams. And then when I joined secondary school, completely fell out of love with sport, and I didn't really pick up sport then again until I went to uni. Um, I was into the gym, but never really that seriously. Yeah, and then when I went to uni, that's like when it really kicked off. I was at Loughborough. So everyone there is so sporty. It feels like if you're not in a sport, you should probably join one. So um I did, I joined La Cross, and then that kind of sparked my love of sport again, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

Was that like what was it in uni that that did that? Was it the team element that you loved? Was it the socialisation? Was it the activity? Like, what made sports stick at that point?

SPEAKER_02 3:47

Um I think for me, when I first started, it was for the social aspects because especially my friendship group, they were all so sporty. So they were all on a team and they were like going to training every week, and we're meeting all of these friends. So I think that made me want to really get involved. Um, and it's how I've made some of my like lifelong friends now who I'm still friends with. Um, yeah, so I think it started as a social aspect and then somewhere along the way became more about like the fitness aspect.

SPEAKER_01 4:18

It's interesting, isn't it, when you look back at that and kind of those those formative elements of what you're doing now without I guess starting lacrosse back then. You wouldn't be doing what you're doing now and have the opportunities that you've got now as well. Um, what was uni like for you? Did you enjoy uni? Was it difficult? Like how what what would you say it was like?

SPEAKER_02 4:38

I loved uni, I had the best time. Um I don't think it was necessarily difficult. I didn't love my course, um, but my friends made up for it. I like I just made like the best friends and I had the best time, and it was such a social university. I feel like Loughborough is just an amazing place to go. So I loved it personally.

SPEAKER_01 4:58

And take me back to before university, 17 years old, because it was quite an impactful thing that happened in your life at that point.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

Yes, yeah, yeah. I had so I had a stroke when I was 17. Um, which it was a bit of a butterfly effect, actually, because I was never supposed to go to Loughborough. Um, I had originally I had a place to go to Birmingham and study biology because I really wanted to go into science, then I wanted to become a vet, so I was going to take a gap year and do all of this stuff, and then I had my stroke, and then kind of just put a load of different things into perspective for me, and then I did a 360 and cancelled my place and went off and did something completely different.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

In terms of that part of your life and around that time, because people that don't follow you won't obviously know the story, and people that do follow you might know the story. So, yeah, talk to me about that experience at 17 and and what happened that led to it.

SPEAKER_02 5:53

Yeah, so at 17 I I was kind of because I this is when I wasn't into sport at all. I was more into like the partying sort of side of life, and then this it was literally just like a random morning before school. I was getting ready for the day, and I then had the stroke, it felt so bizarre, obviously. And um, it was quite a stressful experience. There was only my brother in the house, so he and he had no idea what was going on. I had no idea what was going on because naturally we didn't assume that like me at 17 was having a stroke, it's just like not something you would think could be happening. Um, so bless him, he's like trying to get me to because I couldn't speak, which was like one of the main factors, I couldn't say anything. So then I was trying to like, he was like, Okay, write it down. So I was trying to write, but I was just writing absolute gibber gibberish, I couldn't know what I was writing. And then he said, Okay, cool, let's try typing it. So I was like trying to type, but that was also gibberish. So he was so completely confused, and then and then he started saying, Okay, let's act out. So I was we were like playing charades in my room, trying to guess what was happening, and we were so clueless. Um, and then my mum called him because she had like heard that something was going on. She called him and was like, Can you take her to the hospital? Like, why are you guys still at home? Take to the hospital. And then this was at like 8 30 in the morning, and then they didn't work out what had happened until probably 1.30. Because again, no one's assuming that a 17-year-old is having a stroke. So when I first got there, they were saying, like, like, are you having a panic attack? Like, what's happening? I was like, I have and obviously I can't speak, so my brother's like being my spokesperson, and you can see that the hospital is kind of getting annoyed at him for talking on my behalf, and I was like, No, I can't do it, but I couldn't get anything out, so um yeah, and then they so they normally when a young person has a stroke, more often than not it's to do with something to do with their heart, so they sent me off for heart scans once they realised um and they found two holes in my heart, which is why I had the stroke, so then that was a whole another I had the surgery to fix it. But now I'm all good and we look back and we laugh at it because it was it's fun.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

It's it's interesting actually, like you say that because you look back and you can see yourself recounting that story and thinking about it and you know, talking about the Sherad's moment and talking about all those elements. And I think sometimes we laugh through the hardest things, don't we? And obviously, that's that's probably one of the well, I'm sure is one of the hardest things that's happened in your life, obviously. Like, do you remember being in that moment? Like, because how how old are you now, Leah? Forgive me for asking.

SPEAKER_02 8:18

Uh, I'm 24 now.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Okay, so it's not you know, seven years ago, it's not really that long ago. Like, do you remember being in that moment? That must have been been incredibly scary at the time as well.

SPEAKER_02 8:30

It was quite scary. Um, I I remember it so vividly, actually. I feel like when at you're that age, especially, you you can like form such clear memories. I feel like if when you're a bit younger, you can't. Um, but yeah, I remember because the actual feeling of this trick, I can't people always ask me, like, what does it feel like? And it's really hard to explain. But you know, when you stand up from something and you feel really lightheaded, yeah. It was like that, but just like ten times worse. And felt like I was being like pulled into the ground. It was so bizarre. I felt like I was being pulled into the ground, but I felt really faint. And then I looked down and had three arms, and I thought, well, that's not right.

SPEAKER_03 9:05

Definitely only got two.

SPEAKER_02 9:07

So I just went and like took a seat on my bed and thought, um, like I don't know what's going on. I thought I maybe just stood up too fast because I was getting ready for school, so it's probably my makeup at the time, and thought maybe I just was stood up too fast. Um, and then I thought I was sat there for like 10 minutes, but my friend then phoned me to say like what time was I getting there? Because I think I was then late and everyone was expecting me to be meeting them outside. Um so I think I was sat there for like half an hour, but that kind of like brought me out of this like state that I was in, and then that's when I then tried to speak to her and nothing was coming out, and I thought then that's when I then started panicking. Because beforehand I thought I was just lightheaded, and then I was like, oh no, something's gone wrong here. So I remember like running down to my brother. I was like balling my eyes out because I didn't know what was going on. And bless him, the poor boy, he was so hungover. He feels so bad for him. Your little sister wakes you up and you're hungover and you just have no idea what's going on. But he was great, he he was great.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

And then I guess you know, you you go through the element of actually having the stroke, you go to hospital, it takes a minute for them to be like, Yeah, this is actually happening, because as you say, like you're a 17-year-old, they're not thinking that in the first instance. Yeah, then it comes back once you do get those scans that there is these two holes in in your heart. That's another part of this that is like, oh my god, like this is another thing I'm gonna have to deal with and contend with.

SPEAKER_03 10:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

Um, and as a 17-year-old, you must be thinking at that point, I've just been partying, like I've just been enjoying myself. And like, now this is all happening. Yeah, how does that feel at that point in your life? Like, was that was that like looking forward, not knowing how you were gonna be, or were you always quite, I guess, positive through it?

SPEAKER_02 10:54

So I think I was I was positive through, like, I remember on the day that I was just like laughing the whole time I was in the hospital because that's just so like me and my family are so like that we just take the piss out of each other all the time. So I I was just laughing the whole day. Um, but then when I then found out about the heart, then I was a little bit worried, naturally, it was a little bit worried. Um, because I think it was more just knowing that then something was wrong. Because before I had no idea that I had these holes in my heart, so I was just like blissfully unaware living my life. And then when they made me aware, I was like, oh, okay, now you should probably watch what I'm doing with myself. And it was it was in July, so we were literally coming up to the end of school for the year, and then it was like the summer time, and obviously, summertime everyone will know like at school that's when everyone's having parties and you're going out and there's festivals, and I knew that I had this like really fun summer planned, and um, and I remember I had this there was like a year 12 art trip that I was meant to be going on the next morning, and I was so excited, it's like this like big part of um the art like year that you do at six form. And I remember I was so so excited to go to Amsterdam, and the doctor said to me that morning, he's like, I'm so sorry, you can't go to Amsterdam, you can't go to the gym, you can't drink any alcohol, you can't he was like listing all these things I can't do, and I was thinking, Oh my god, like my summer's ruined. So then I was really upset because I I was just thinking I would like have and I was just annoyed. I hate being told I can't do something, and like the doctor saying you can't do it, I thought, right, well, I should probably listen to you.

SPEAKER_01 12:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:23

Um Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

He's like the one bloke that or he or she's like the one bloke, the one person that you should probably uh probably should adhere to. Um so you mentioned like going through the the surgery for it, right?

SPEAKER_02 12:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

When when when that was floated, you know, this is gonna you're gonna have to do this, Leah. Um, this is the recovery, like this is what you need to do to get back to kind of full fitness and full health. Um what do what what what had to happen? Like if you've got a hole in your heart, what has to happen?

SPEAKER_02 12:53

Yeah, so they there's basically this little device, um, it's like an umbrella, it goes in and an artery in like in your leg. So they just go up in a tube, which is really cool. So I don't have to have open heart surgery, which is X and because that would have been terrifying.

SPEAKER_03 13:07

That would have been like that.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

Um so you go up in like an artery, and then when it then they like release it and it kind of just like flattens across the like middle wall of your heart, which is where the holes were, so it covers it up, and then your heart lining grows over the top of it. So they said that within like six months to a year, the lining of my heart would completely have covered this device, and then everything will be fine. Um, so the actual surgery itself isn't invasive at all, so the recovery from the surgery isn't like isn't that bad. I think it's more knowing that something's happened to your heart. I was then so scared afterwards to do anything. Um it like really knocked my confidence afterwards, like the whole situation. I don't think I think in between the stroke and the surgery, because I had the stroke in July and then I had the surgery in November. So that period of time, I think I was just like thinking really positively. And I remember the morning I woke up at home after the surgery, I would just like burst into tears, and my mum came upstairs and I was like, it's just like it was all hit me now. Um, but yeah, I'm fine now, so it's okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

I guess when yeah, I guess when you're in it though, you're in like the the hurricane of it. It is just like that um doing, doing, doing, right? It's like you just get through the next day, do the next thing, and then at some point, like that moment when you're back at home and you burst into tears, I guess it's just a release, isn't it? Like, oh my god, I can't believe this has all happened. You look back at it and you think, that is actually kind of wild that I've just been through that whole thing. Like reflecting back on it now, what's it like to think back to it? Like, I know you've made a couple of videos. Um I saw the one on your stroke versary, and it was you were you were saying about it and saying about all the other people that have got in contact with you over the years and and have kind of related to your story. How do you feel about it looking back at it now? And what is it like when other people relate back to it as well?

SPEAKER_02 15:05

Yeah, um I don't know, I think looking back, I think I can see like how it's built my like resilience and confidence since then. Um like now looking back, knowing that I can get through things like that, I guess. Um I think because I remember like I was I had completely not my confidence at the time, and and it was obviously a really scary experience. So I think just looking back kind of feel a bit sorry for myself that I was so worried of like what was gonna come. Um, which is why it's like so nice when people reach out and say like they've had this experience and they're they've knocked their confidence, and like how do you kind of get back to life afterwards? And I was lucky that I didn't have any major like lasting impacts, like physically I was fine, it was all in the language with my brain, so it was literally just my reading and writing that I needed to work on. Um but it's nice like offering the support to other people going through it and kind of like giving them, I guess, a bit of courage, like that it will be fine. Um, you just have to like get through it and you'll get there.

SPEAKER_01 16:09

The reading and writing part of it, explain to me that, like, what did you have to what did you have to do? Like how did how did you work through that and what was the yeah, what were the things you had to put in place to get back to that point?

SPEAKER_02 16:22

Yeah. Um, so because I remember on the actual day, like I couldn't write or read a talk, like nothing to do with words, was I it was just couldn't do words. Um and then over the summer I had because it was quite handy actually to be fair, because it was right at the end of the year, so I then had the summer to kind of like get back on my feet.

SPEAKER_00 16:40

It was dramatically schedule it. It was quite handy, yeah. Put it in there in the diary.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

It could have been at a worse time. So I had the summer to like get back on my feet before because it was my like year before my A levels, so and I was going back to school to then finish um year 13 and my A levels and stuff. So obviously it was I was doing quite a hard subject, so I I needed to get back and get my grades and stuff. So I had this um what are they called? Some sort of psychologist, like a like an educational psychologist or something who they they like every stroke patient, they like assign you one to like try and rehabilitate you. Um they like test you the next morning through like all your physical activities after like make the cup cup of tea, and they're like, Oh yeah, you're fine. Um so then this lady would come to the house and she would run through things with me. But I think the problem was the exercises that they had in place weren't kind of like they were checking that I could still read and write, which I could, but it was more than when I got back to school, I didn't realise the impact it had because the things that they were getting me to do over the summer weren't necessarily challenging. I had to like copy text from a textbook in onto a page, which I could do fine. So then when I then got back to school and we had loads of um end of like unit tests and like random tests, I remember that's when I realised how much I'd been affected because beforehand I'd like finished the paper, everything was fine, I'd get a good grade, and then when I went back, I was finishing like 50% of the paper because it was taking me so long to read everything and just like couldn't process it. Um so then I was talking to the school and we were gonna get me like extra support for my actual exams, but then COVID hit, so I didn't even do them.

unknown 18:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:20

I mean scheduling again, I guess. If we're talking about scheduling, we're talking about scheduling. That must have been weird though, because and I know you've spoken about this yourself um on your socials before as well, like being who you were in school pre-stroke and getting kind of the grades that you were getting, and then going back and it being kind of very different. And like obviously, there's a multitude of reasons that that is the case, but from a confidence perspective, that's gotta be really, really tough that you're uh not the person that you were before at that exact moment, and accepting that has got to be quite tricky.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

Yeah, and it was really frustrating because especially because like I knew I could do it, it was just a timing thing for me. Like, I was I and so then I'd get my like paper back at the end of it, like, you got an E or a D. And I'm like, No, but I didn't. Like on the bit I did, I got an A. Like, please could you just give me a bit more time? Um, and my my family, like my my brother was at Oxford uni, like he's so smart, so he's like gone off doing physics at Oxford, and there's me, I can't even finish my end of unit paper. So I was like, Oh god, like this is not good. I need to um so it's I think it was more frustrating than anything because it's kind of annoying when you know you can do something and and you can't really be doing it.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

Yeah, no, that makes that makes total sense. What was it like going back to school after it and like I guess people knowing, like people, people talking about it, people asking if you're okay, people not understanding from a confidence kind of standpoint?

SPEAKER_02 19:52

Um to be fair, my like my friends were so supportive at the time. I remember like going in and everyone, like the whole school was so supportive and blessed the school, like in um when I then came back the next year. Anytime like the smallest thing would happen in my day, they'd be like, it like are you okay? I was like, Oh no God, so fine, like please, I'm fine. I remember like I'm so bad of um well, I was so bad of time management, so I was always late to school every single day without fail, like had always been. And they called me in halfway through the year and they said, like, Leia, if this is something we need to work on because of your stroke, like we can work on it. And I was like, no, like it's just me being bad. Like I can do better. I've just bad. So they were they like everyone was very supportive, which was nice. Um, and I think because they hadn't had a student who had had a stroke before, they were like, I think everyone was kind of confused how to help me, so they were just like helping me in any way they could, which was actually really nice. Um, and like my friends were supportive, and especially my friends at the time and myself, like I don't, I don't um I don't know what the word is, but I don't like make a big deal out of things. So I think everyone just kind of went back to normal life and just not brushed it under the carpet necessarily, but like we're like, okay, that's happened and now this is life now. Like we just kind of went on that.

SPEAKER_01 21:05

Yeah, I can I can tell you're the sort of person like that just wants to crack on, right? You said a couple of things already. One of the things was like the thing about the doctor, like I don't really like being told no. Like I like I can't do something type thing, which is yeah, you can tell that with stuff that we're gonna get into like down the line as well. But also like that thing of constantly wanting to move forward and just get to the next thing and not kind of dwell too much. Is that a family thing? Is that something you've always had? Like, do they do that too, or is that a purely a thing?

SPEAKER_02 21:38

I think to an extent my family do. We're we're such like a I always say we're so unserious with everything. Like with like so untraditional, unserious, like whatever happens, we just like get through it. And I think we've just like in my life there's been like a series of things that have happened over time and every time we just like it happens, we deal with it and we move on. Like it just That's just how we roll.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

And and and don't dwell too much, presumably. You don't look back. You always look forward.

SPEAKER_02 22:06

Yeah, and we're such an optimistic family. I feel like, especially me, like I'm so optimistic with probably too optimistic. My friend, me and my friend, we say we're um obnoxiously optimistic because sometimes we're a bit too optimistic. But I think it definitely helps because in situations like that, it just you just like look for the positives, and like now we like look back and we tell the story as if it's like a like a joke, like an anecdote of like a joke in a story. And everyone's like, why laughing about this?

SPEAKER_01 22:31

It's funny.

SPEAKER_00 22:32

It's probably not I was doing we were doing charades. You're like, no, this isn't this isn't what we want to be saying.

SPEAKER_01 22:39

Um I love that phrase. Um the uh uh what how did you put it? Um obnoxiously optimistic. I was trying to say it then. Uh yeah, that is that's like that's such a I mean, a good way of looking at things though, because there's so much negativity right now, isn't there? Like and you're there are so many it's so easy to hop on your phone or have a chat with a mate and just be so negative about everything.

SPEAKER_02 23:05

I know, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

I think sometimes optimism is almost like framed as something that's like negative, isn't it? It's like, oh, why are you being optimistic? It's like, well, why can't I be optimistic? Like life's pretty good, like I know I always is.

SPEAKER_02 23:18

I say I love my life. I was saying to my friends because we were on holiday last week, I kept saying, I was like, guys, life's got to get less fun because life is too fun.

unknown 23:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:27

No, it doesn't though. That's the thing. It doesn't need to get less fun, it can still be that fun, can't it? Um, when we look at like sport, then from going through what what you went through then at 17, because I think that's framed this really nicely, obviously, to to then go into union to picking up sport, and then we'll obviously move through to what you're doing now and what you have done.

SPEAKER_03 23:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:46

Um when something's I know it's fixed at that point, the the things have gone in, the heart would have healed over and everything, but it's still weird, isn't it? Like it's in you and you can't really, you don't really know. And you're playing sport, you're starting to push it, you're starting to raise your heart rate, you're starting to do all that sort of stuff. Is that nerve-wracking? Is that weird? Is that like is that strange?

SPEAKER_02 24:10

Yeah, I remember I used to get so stressed about it. Not necessarily when I was playing lacrosse, because especially in first year, like you because I'd never played lacrosse before uni, I was more just learning the skill of it rather than doing anything fitness-based.

SPEAKER_03 24:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

Um, but I remember straight so when I'd had the stroke, I'd just got into the gym. So I'm in like year 12, that kind of 17-year-old age was when I started going to the gym. And then when I then went back to the gym, I remember being really conscious of it because every time I was like pushing away, I I didn't want to because I was really nervous of again, and I knew nothing was gonna happen because the doctor had said, like, you're all fine, like you can go back to normal life, but it's just like knowing something's different. So it and naturally it just does take time to build that confidence. So I think then because I took a gap year before I went to uni, I then had like the whole next year because I hadn't I was still having heart scans and stuff at the end of what would have been the school year, so I just thought I don't want to go to uni yet, I want to be completely clear, like completely confident again. So I had the year off. Um, and that year I really re rebuilt my confidence in the gym, which was great. So when I went to uni, I it wasn't like front of the mind anymore, it's kind of like further back in my mind. So I didn't then start thinking about it until Ellen started running because that raises your heartmate so much more than like lacrosse was at the time because I wasn't really training that hard.

SPEAKER_01 25:30

It's kind of strange as well, isn't it? Because you just said then, like, it's the doctor said everything's okay, and like you're all good. But then I guess you're thinking back to when you're at school and you're going like when you were getting ready to go to school, you're like, Well, I was just doing my makeup and I was thinking everything was fine. So it's like there there becomes that balance of like, how much do you think about it and how much do you try and trust in that side of things? And it's that's got to be quite a hard balance to kind of work at in your own head. And sometimes I'm sure you probably still go down the one road a little bit, and yeah, you have to try and bring that back. Do you find that at all?

SPEAKER_02 26:10

Um, I think so. I think definitely a lot less now. It's just when because I get heart palpitations, which is a normal thing. My mum gets heart palpitations, she always has. So when I first started running and I'd get heart palpitations, I'd get so stressed because I'd be like, oh my gosh, something's wrong with my heart. Like everyone panic. Um, and then I've kind of come to realize I've got to be. Sherade's time. It's Sherrod's time. Yeah, everyone like get ready for Sherrod's. Um, but now I've like been doing it for so much longer. I've learned that if my heart's spiking or I'm having heart palpitations, it's it's normal. So it's just trying to like remind yourself that everyone gets that, and it's like that is a normal thing, separate to what's happened to me.

SPEAKER_01 26:49

Yeah. Which has got to be quite tricky though, sometimes because you like you're always kind of gonna make the connection, aren't you? And like even if it's not there, it's like, hey, that's an easy connection to make.

SPEAKER_02 27:00

Like, yeah, I know. Even for my friends, best and like if I say that, oh, if I like hold my chest and oh, my heart feels weird, everyone's like, Oh, are you okay? I'm like, no, I'm actually fine. It just feels a bit funny.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Yeah, I'm much better. Um, when did running first come into the conversation then? Like we've mentioned like the lacrosse piece. Like, when did you start thinking, you know what, I'm gonna give this a crack?

SPEAKER_02 27:20

So I started running in second gen. I I absolutely hated running. I remember like I always used to be like, do not make me run, I don't like it. And my housemate um who I lived with, she wanted us all to do the um the park run literally after. So it was London Marathon weekend, and she'd watched the marathon in London, and she was like, Oh my gosh, guys, this is amazing! Like, we have to get into running. I'm so inspired. So she comes back to uni and that then following weekend, she made us all do the park run. And I remember thinking, I was like, I can't do this, I hate running. And I did it, and I really surprised myself because and I think because I'd been building up like a base level of fitness at my lacrosse training in second year, and I had been at the gym for quite a few years now, so I had I just surprised myself and I didn't find it as hard as I necessarily thought I was going to. Um, and then it kind of just like sparked the bug, and then all of us were running very socially, like it was we never did anything that serious at the time. We just kind of like like 3k to coffee or like 5k to brunch. Um, but that's like what kicked it all off, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

It's nice that though, isn't it? Because it becomes it becomes more of a social thing rather than anything else at the start. And I think I think what what can ha happen is people can see the competitiveness of it. Two things they either get scared off and they don't want to do it because it's so competitive, or they jump straight in and like that is all running means to them. It's like I must compete, I must get this time. Yeah. Whereas actually, like, you'll know a lot of the times the funnest bit is that bit in the middle. Just like just the chill bit, just you being with mates, like whether it's going for a coffee or out on the trail, catching up, having a chat, like that's the bit that almost means the most, I think.

SPEAKER_02 29:00

Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 29:01

What's your favourite part of it? Is it the social stuff? Is it the competitive stuff? Like, where are you?

SPEAKER_02 29:08

I think it's for my like for my head. I just feel like it I can always tell if I've not run in a couple of days because my head, I'm so like foggy and I'm not necessarily moody. I don't really get moody, but like I can just tell that my mood's lower, and then I go on a run and I'm like everything in the world is great again. So I think I do from my mood, like I I love the feeling after the run. Um, so especially if I'm on a hard run, I just think it's fine because you're gonna get to the end and you're gonna feel great. Um, but yeah, I think anytime I go out with my friends, we just have so much fun. And we don't take it like when we run together, we don't take it seriously. Like the girls will finish work, and then someone puts on the group chat, like, and it'll run, and then we're all out, and then it's just fun and listening to music and just like laughing and being silly. And I don't think we even look at the time on Strava, we're just running.

SPEAKER_01 29:52

It's just being with people, isn't it? Like you said about uh being on holiday with the girls last week, and like that being like with people, and you saying, you know, life can need to get worse somehow because I don't know how it's so good, but it is that, and it's the same thing with the running piece. Like, if they're just dropping a message in the WhatsApp group and being like, let's go for a run. I think one of the special things is just being with people, and we don't get that enough now, do we? It's so easy to sit on a computer all day and not see anybody else, um, and actually like reminding yourself that going and having that human interaction, I think sometimes is so important because it's so easy not to do it, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 30:30

It is. Even I when I've hosted run clubs in the past, I because I get so nervous for hosting a run club because I'm like I'm not that great at like public speaking. So if I know that I'm gonna have to do this talk to however many people come, I just think, oh, this is gonna be terrible. And then afterwards, I always feel so happy, and like everyone that's there, we're just like everyone's just so happy, and it's just really nice. I think it is just getting people together, and like obviously, if you're doing exercise, you're getting endorphins, so everyone's got that after the exercise, and you've been laughing with people, and it's it's just it's nice.

SPEAKER_01 31:01

What's that like? Like, as somebody that wasn't in this game, didn't really find running until like second year of uni or whatever it was, and then you're now getting invited to host run clubs, or you're hosting run clubs yourself, or you know, you're um getting this invite to this event or getting this product from this brand. Like, is that odd? Like, is it do you have to sometimes remind yourself like this is kind of my job?

SPEAKER_02 31:29

I know. I think it's less odd now, but especially when it first started, I remember thinking that this is so funny. Like, and I always used to remember thinking, like, if people from school could see me now because at school I was like, This is obviously a pre-shape, I was like party all the time, like not into fitness, I was just always out. And so I think if people like that and saw me now, they'd probably think, Well, like, what's happened in this time? Like, how has this girl gone from this to like now her job is running kind of thing?

SPEAKER_01 31:56

Yeah, but have you bumped into anyone from home? Like, has that conversation ever like actually happened? Like, oh, like Leah, you're doing something completely different to what I was expecting.

SPEAKER_02 32:07

Yeah, not necessarily. Um, but I did get a DM from a girl once. It was when I'd like posted it because I so I went sober for a year when I was at uni and I made I made quite a few videos about it at the time. And I remember a girl from I think she was a year below me or two years below me. She sent me a DM and she was like, Hey, just want to tell you know I'm really proud of like what you've done and like how far you've come from where you were at school, was it up? Thanks, I guess.

unknown 32:31

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:33

I don't know what that what was that supposed to say about previously. I don't know, but yeah. There's a backhanded compliment. Um what was that experience like then, not drinking for a year?

SPEAKER_02 32:44

It was really good for me. Um because I just I didn't used to have a very good relationship with it at all, I don't think. Um, and then I just think I needed to like reframe how my brain like used it, if that makes sense, I think. It this is like back when I was 16, 17, I kind of used to use it. I don't want to say as an escape, but like I I wasn't loving life at the time, so I think it was kind of like a bit of like a downward spiral, I just like wanted to get out of my head. Yeah. Um, and then I think once that's kind of how you've got into drinking, it's hard to then switch that. So at uni, like I I wasn't I was just kind of out having fun with people, but still at the back of my head, that's kind of ha the problem, I guess. So I think for me having the ear off was so good because I learned that I could have fun without it, and I like it grew my confidence a lot because beforehand I used to think like I wasn't fun if I hadn't had a drink, I think. And then had the ear off. I was like, oh no, I I can be fun without a drink. And then when I then went back to uni and started drinking again, it was just like a completely different mindset. And now when I go out and drink with my friends, I just have so much fun, and I'm doing it to have fun and dance with my friends, and like that's kind of the only reason I drink now.

SPEAKER_01 33:52

Yeah, it's really interesting, isn't it? I've definitely done periods where I've I've been sober as well, normally leading up to a race or you know, that because it's then something to focus on or whatever. But I think there's this negative connotation of um sobriety sometimes. And it's kind of strange, isn't it? Because especially when especially when actually it's just for a lot of people so good for their health, or they just need that period to reframe, or they might just not like it. Like, and that's okay as well. Um, I think we're getting out of it a little bit more now. I don't know what you think, but I think like back in the day it was like you're not drinking, like, why aren't you drinking? That's mental. And you're like, what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02 34:38

Yeah, to be fair, I think there was, but then I think it switched the other way for me. Like the them, it might be the industry that we're in, and like pe meeting people in the running space, especially. They like a lot of people weren't drinking, and there was I kept meeting people that didn't drink, and I was thinking no one drinks anymore. Like cool. Um, and then I remember because I'd posted so much at the time about like going from like partying all the time and then to now sober, and like fitness was like the biggest thing in my life. Um, then when I then did start drinking again, I remember feeling really guilty because I thought I've like posted so much about being sober and now I'm going to drinking again. So I think I hid it for a while because I didn't want people to be confused and be like, but she's posted so much about not drinking. Um, but now I've like now so now I post about it because I want people to know like that it's fine to do both. Because I think especially in the fitness space, a lot of the time a lot of people weren't drinking, and then you like leave that and meet up with people in London, you're like, Oh no, everyone's drinking.

SPEAKER_01 35:35

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It it's and that part of what you do is so strange because it's this thing that nobody else really has on the scale that content creators have it, which is like if you say something and you put out a message, you kind of feel like you have to adhere to it forever, and you're like, that's not you like take take the following away, take the socials away. You're a 24-year-old person who's going to change, like that's just what happens in life, and I think sometimes people don't appreciate that. I think it's really important that like um yeah, people are aware of the fact that like every piece of content isn't going to be the person that you are forever. Because that doesn't make any sense.

SPEAKER_02 36:22

Yeah, and people go through so many like seasons in their life. So we always say like you go through so many different phases, and like since starting my account, I've been a uni student and then I was working full-time for a year, and then I was back to a union student, and then now I'm a like full-time. So it's like I've gone through like so many different stages, and so like the content I was posting two years ago is gonna be such a different person to the person I am today. So I think it's just like I have to remind myself this too, because especially with like the drinking thing, I remember thinking, but I don't drink on my account, like that can't be me.

SPEAKER_01 36:53

Yeah, I think I I probably similar to you now in the fact of like I I will never not drink um fully because there are moments for me, and this is just personal opinion, and like there'll be people like that listen to this that won't feel the same, and there will be people that can relate to it, and I think we're probably quite similar. There are moments where I think for me it heightens the situation. So, like, yeah, if I've gone for a big trail run with the lads or something, and we stop at a pub on the way home to have some food, and that pint is always gonna taste amazing, like it just is, and like, or if you're on holiday with your partner and you're looking over a sunset, like for me, I feel like a cocktail or something is going to heighten that situation. So it's like, but that's okay. Like, you shouldn't shouldn't feel like bad for that, I don't think.

SPEAKER_02 37:44

No, and everyone's got such different experiences with it. Like, there's some people who haven't drunk in 10 years and they like would never look for it, and there's other people that like go out like seven times a week, and I guess just everyone has their own experiences with that.

SPEAKER_01 37:57

I think you're right though, in saying that it's where it comes from and how your relationship with it is kind of developed. Like you saying back then, maybe you weren't in a hugely good place and you use that as like the coping method. And I think when you go through something like that, that then builds that negative connotation that when you then stop for a year, you kind of you use the words like reframe um your relationship with it, and then you can get to that positive relationship, which you're obviously you're obviously at now. Um when we look at kind of your event calendar, Leah, like stuff that you've done recently, stuff that you've got coming up. I know you had a really good marathon this year, right? In Manchester, huge PB.

SPEAKER_03 38:44

Thanks, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:45

Talk to me about the marathon distance, the 26.2 miles. Like, where did that first become a thing that you wanted to give a crack? And then what was it? Like, I did write this down because it's 44 minutes, right? You took off your PB. Yeah. In Manchester. What like talk to me about the first one, and then talk to me about like this year and taking that sort of wedge of time off.

SPEAKER_02 39:08

Okay, so so the one I did this year was my third one, and I think this is the first time I could like got it right. Okay. Um because so the first time I did it, I when was it? It must have been two years, two years ago. Um, and so I'd done a few half marathons that year. So I'd gone on my placement year, and when I went on placement, I'd like moved, I'd moved down to Kent by myself for the year. So I didn't know anyone in my hair yeah. I was just living in this flat by myself, and I like threw myself into fitness, and I think it was like, and I loved it, and it was all I did at the time, and this is when I was sober, and like I was training every single day, which is probably not the best, but I was loving it, so I started booking races. Um, and I did London landmarks, that was like my first proper big race that I'd done. Um, and I did it with charity different strokes, and I remember I was like raising money uh to help like young, it's different strokes to like loads of support for young stroke survivors specifically. Um, and I remember like feeling so proud of myself afterwards, and the whole time I was so emotional at the end because I remember I was just because this is when I was like thinking about me being younger and like how I was so scared of like doing anything, and then now just run a half marathon. I remember I was so proud of myself. So then I think I was like then trying to chase that feeling and push myself because I think when I do a race, I do it more like to prove to myself that I can do that challenge rather than like I don't I think it's just all like for me. So I then booked a few more half marathons. Um, and then I thought I'm gonna do a marathon. I kept saying I was gonna do a marathon and then like never booking one. So then I booked one on my birthday. I don't know why. I just really wanted to do one on my birthday.

SPEAKER_01 40:42

Happy birthday, Leah.

SPEAKER_02 40:46

So I think it was my 23rd, and I booked one. It was the Cologne Marathon. I'd seen on someone's story that they were doing a marathon. I can't remember who it was, but I saw someone was doing this marathon and it was on my birthday, and I thought, brilliant idea. I'm gonna book that. It's on my birthday, I'm gonna do it. So I booked it. I went out there, and um because it was my first one, I remember thinking like, no pressure, I don't care what time I do it in. I because I'd never done obviously never done the distance before. I didn't know what was gonna happen. So it's like a trial one, I guess. So I did it, and I remember the literally whole second half, I was crying my eyes out. It was horrible. I thought I'm never doing this to myself again. I don't know why I signed up for this, it was awful. And at the end, I literally went into like my boyfriend was there with me, and I literally was just like non-verbal at the end. I was like, I can't do this, like it was horrible. And I had to go home and have like a five-hour nap before I could speak because it was not having a fun day. Anyway, and then six months later, um, because I worked with Runner, so then Runner reached out and said, like, wonder if you'd want to do the Berlin Marathon. I thought, yeah, let's go again. Because enough time had passed then that I forgot. Because I think I forget because then like the post race and then like the next day it was really fun. So I thought, yeah, that was a really fun weekend, let's do another one. Um, and I knew obviously at this point I knew I could do the distance, and I knew what to expect doing the distance this time. So I went into it again. But the problem was Berlin, this is now last year, it was like the really hot Berlin day. It was horrible, and it was so warm. And I am not good in the heat, neither is anyone. And I lit because I kept saying to everyone, I said, I want to get as close to four hours as possible. And then I did it in like four hours and 26 minutes because the heat just got to me. I did my fueling all wrong. Um, because some of the boys on the trip they kept saying, like, yeah, like have as many carbs as you can. I was like, Cool. Every A station, I was grabbing like gels, gels I'd never had before, which obviously that's like rookie era. Why would you do that? And I was having everything I was drinking, carb drinks, I've never had one of them before. So in the last 10k.

SPEAKER_00 42:52

It was awful. You're like, oh my god, my stomach.

SPEAKER_02 42:55

Oh, it was horrible. And I and the heat as well had really got to me in it TMI, but I was just like dry heaving behind literally every single tree in the last 10k. So I completely missed my time. And um, but so did every single person that was out in Berlin that weekend. So I didn't like I didn't um like take it personally, if you know what I mean. I just thought like that was a really hard day, and I got through it, and then I had a really fun weekend. So then I remember thinking marathon weekends are really fun, and it was the heat that got to me that time. I'm gonna do another one. And everyone that was on the trip, I remember they were so like so motivating, they were all so fast, and like just the way they spoke about racing, I was like, I want to do another one. So then I booked Manchester, and I just think that Manchester was the first day that like the weather was all right, I knew what to do with my fueling this time, like I knew what to expect, and I kind of had like a lot more confidence, this one, that I could push myself. So uh and then I got a 44 minute PV. I was I was so surprised at the end. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:57

What was it like then? I guess take me into Mile 18, mile 19, because before that, right, you're just like, right, I'm sure you were like, let's just stick to the plan, let's just keep ticking it on, let's just keep making sure that we get to that point. When you're then at that point, you're like, okay, this could be quite good. Like this could actually be pretty decent. Like, what are you feeling in that moment when you know like this is kind of on here?

SPEAKER_02 44:22

Yeah, so I I actually felt so good that whole race, which is so surprising, I think, to say. I literally felt good, well, until probably at the last 5k, then I'm struggling. But I um I think when I got to the halfway point, I saw what time I was on for, and I thought, that's I didn't think that was on the cards. And I remember at the time thinking I feel really good right now. Um, so I remember just thinking, like, why I feel good, like push and enjoy feeling good, and then I just knew that like I was gonna feel bad at some point, so just like get to that point, and then we'll deal with that when we get there. Um, and then by the time I did get to the point where I was feeling really bad, I only had 5k to go, and I had this time that I was going for now that I didn't know I was going for, but now I was like, You're gonna go for this time now, Leah.

SPEAKER_01 45:07

You're gonna go for this time.

SPEAKER_02 45:08

No, I thought I can't stop now. So I just kept pushing, and um, and I think I was just I it so it sounds silly, but like I was so proud of myself the whole time because I was going like doing something I didn't think I could do. So I was I was just running, I was like, oh my gosh, like this is incredible. And I think then I was like being filled with adrenaline thinking that I could do it. So I was I was just like, yeah. Um and it's I whenever I'm struggling on a run, I start smiling because I just I always hit see people's ears are like smiling helps performance. So I was running along, just smiling, and then the crowd was amazing, everyone was so good, and people kept shouting at like and I have my name obviously on my chest, everyone was shouting at me. I remember this one lady at like I think I had like 10k to go. She was like, You're absolutely smashing it. I was like, Oh my god, I know. I was running so much faster. I was like, I can do this. Um, and then it yeah, and then I finished, and I was I because I saw the time on my striver and I thought that can't be right. Like, I've got to wait to my chip time. And the chip time was the same, and I thought, oh my gosh, like I didn't know I could do that. It's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 46:10

What's it like proving that sort of thing to yourself? Because you've you've mentioned a couple of times of we've been chatting, like I don't really do this for anybody else, I kind of just do it to prove to me. Like, yeah, what is that feeling like when you have proved to yourself like Leah, you can actually do that thing that maybe you didn't think you were capable of?

SPEAKER_02 46:27

I don't think I to be fair, I was just thinking, I was like, but I could probably stop now. Like I've done it, prove it to myself. I won't be able to stop now, I don't think. But um, yeah, it was just I I just remember feeling really proud of myself and I was like on such a race day high, then I was like, I was on like I was just so happy when I got to the end. Um and then it made me want to like book another one, but I th but because l last year I did the same thing. I booked a race for like the winter, so I kind of had is that how I did a I don't quite remember what the race finder was, but basically I had the summer off and I kind of just like enjoyed summer, was with my friends all summer and had so much fun, and then I like stopped having quite so much fun and did more training through the winter. And I think that was such a good way to do it because I think before I was like always on, and I thought like, oh yeah, I've got to be like so on it all yeah, but then I thought like that's not that's not really feasible. So I think having like a few months over summer, especially where I like dial it back a bit and I focus more on like my social life and having fun with all my friends and then in the winter, then like taking it a bit more seriously again. I think it was so good for me because yeah, I think it just really helped.

SPEAKER_01 47:35

And again, that's probably another thing that I would imagine is quite hard, and you've probably had to work out a way to balance that as you've kind of become this full-time content creator as well. Because at the start, and and you actually said something earlier, which was like running's kind of my job. Like that's kind that's gotta be that's gotta be quite weird to kind of get your head around that there's an element of that, but actually, people are following you because they like you and not because you because you're a runner, it's like that's just an element of that piece. So you yeah, when you're planning your calendar, it's gotta be tricky to be like, don't race all the time, you don't need to do that. Whereas maybe you thought when you started like you did.

SPEAKER_02 48:17

I think that's definitely the case, and I think because when I first started, I thought like my whole account was just running, and so I was like, right, I've got a big races all the time. And then I kind of like stopped and looked at myself last year, and I thought, I'm not a professional athlete, I'm never gonna be a professional athlete. Like, yes, running is my job, but it's more like the content creation side of my job that I love. Obviously, I love running, but like it that's kind of what spurred me on to start this whole thing in the first place. So I think then in the last like six months, I've tried to move my content kind of like not so it's not just running because I'm I'm not a professional runner, and I thought I run for fun because I love it, and I I like enjoy life around running as well. So I think that's been really good for me as well to like try and reframe how I think about it too.

SPEAKER_01 49:01

Leah, I've loved this. I think it's been brilliant. I think let's wrap up with this one. Um you mentioned seasons um a little bit earlier on. You kind of said life has lots of seasons, and I think one thing that is quite obvious by this conversation is at 24, your life's already had a lot of seasons, like you've been through a lot of stuff. Um, sitting where you are now, like us having this conversation, are you are you happy with the current season that you're in?

SPEAKER_02 49:26

Oh my gosh, like too happy with the current season is what I keep saying to you. I was I was talking to my friends about this last week because I remember like I used to I maybe it's just my optimism that does this to me, which is obviously like a good way to frame life. But when I so I remember when I was at school, I thought my life has peaked, it's not gonna get better than this, and then I went to uni and I thought, my life has peaked, like it's not gonna get better than this. Then I've come out and I've moved into London, I've always wanted to be in London, live in London with like I'm in a house with four girls and we just get on so well. And so then I just think like that's what I said to them last week. He's like, guys, it's peaked again. I was like, what's gonna happen next year?