Envy & Jealousy: Tools or Weapons?

Today we are going to talk about two Emotions that we all experience and can’t escape.  

Envy & Jealousy

We talk about them constantly, yet most of us don’t clearly understand what they really are  or how they differ, and because of this ,we often mix them up, mislabel and carry the wrong emotion. They are more than emotions, they are hard wired survival responses that evolved to help humans protect their relationships, navigate social hierarchies, and function in groups.

Envy evolved to help early humans evaluate resources and abilities in others; it acted as an internal signal-signaling-:

“They have something valuable- I want it- so either I need to improve- or acquire it also”. This helped our early  survival by motivating people to secure food, status, tools, partners, and social standing.  “Step up, Grow up, Get stronger and get better-“that’s what Envy was saying. But when this becomes chronic and unhealthy, envy becomes poisonous. Envy turns into insecurity, resentment, and a sense of inadequacy.

Jealousy served a completely different evolutionary purpose. Its job was to protectimportant relationships by alerting you to potential threats to those relationships.

Both of the started as very helpful survival tools-but today in modern life they can become diSTorted, exaggerated and harmful when left unchecked.

Before I go on.

An easy way to remember these emotions..

Where Envy is about wanting, usually about material things-“something”

 Jealousy is about protecting-its relational- “someone”

Now I am sure we are all guilty of using them interchangeably, but they are two very different emotions, two different psychological roots, with two different physical effects on the body, and two very different paths if you don’t get a handle on them.

In their quiet forms, they create insecurity, comparison, resentment, and tension.

In their extreme forms, they can create rage, destruction, violence and even murder.

Most of us don’t realize how quickly these emotions can escalate, And if left unchecked these emotions will ruin your relationships-marriage- careers and family relationships- mostly they ruin your self-respect and confidence..

Envy and jealousy  are just not mental- they both show up physically:

When these feelings become chronic, your stress hormones stay elevated which leads to a racing heart, tight muscles, headaches, poor sleep, digestive issues, high blood pressure and constant fatigue- AND premature aging.

And Overtime they drain your immune system and keep your body in a low level fight or flight state. 

These emotions are not harmless; your body pays for them. That’s why managing them isn’t just about mental health-it’s about protecting your physical health too.

The Take away here is that Envy and jealousy  are not signs of weakness. They are signs you are human. But they are also signs that something inside you needs attention.

The difference between a person who grows and a person who collapses is how they  manage these emotions.

 Unmanaged envy becomes resentment.

Unmanaged jealousy becomes fear and control.

Both become unhealthy, unattractive, and destructive

BUT managed;

Envy becomes motivation.

Jealousy becomes clarity.

Both become tools for growth

You are not meant to eliminate these emotions- you are meant to master them.

Because the healthier your emotional life, the healthier your entire life becomes.

 Enjoy!

Joanne

The Aging Mask- A lifestyle Medicine Podcast

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