Respect: The Foundation of Marriage & Parenting

R. E.S.P.E.C.T-  today’s topic is on Respect.

This word carry’s a lot of weight - even more than love. We don’t use it casually- and we don’t lose it accidently.

When someone says they have lost respect for another person, something meaningful has already shifted- something foundational.

Respect is foundational to all relationships-personal and professional- and the reason is simple:

Every relationship requires trust, safety, and recognition, and respect is what creates all three of these.

RESPECT is Recognition -it is the ability to see another person as whole- separate from you- not owned by you-not there to manage your emotions- not there to serve your needs- or validate your identity.

Respect matters to us humans so deeply because it is tied to our sense of worth, safety, and social belonging.

1.it affirms our value

2- it creates emotional safety

3- respect is important to all of us because is supports connection and cooperation- We humans are social animals. We are wired for connection

4-And Respect Nutures SELF RESPECT-respect from others teaches us how to value ourselves. When others treat us with dignity we internalize it- we stand taller, set those boundaries, and demand better treatment.

What does respect actually looks like & what does it  feel  like in a marriage- And what does respect look like from a child. 

Let me start with kids.

Kids respect adults who:

1-       Set and enforce clear boundaries

2- Model honesty and integrity 

3- listen actively

4-Show calm authority

Real respect from kids grows and is earned when adults model, fairness, consistency, and emotional accountability-which means showing them  how to handle BIG feelings without blaming or hurting others. 

what does RESPECT  actually look like- and what does it if feel like- in a Marriage

I say both Look and feel because they serve different purposes:

*Look like- is an Observable behavior (what others can see

* Feel like- this is an internal experience- emotional safety- you feel tension and calm-

Respect that only looks right can still be wrong. Respect that feels right, but isn’t supported by behavior doesn’t last.

Respect in a Marriage LOOKS like:

·   Listening without interrupting or correcting 

·   Speaking about your spouse with dignity, even when they are not present

·   Keeping your private struggles private

·   Honoring boundaries without punishment- meaning- respecting  your partners limits- WITHOUT reacting with anger, guilt or the silent treatment- they decline a request- you accept it.

·   Allowing your partner to be different without trying to manage or change them

·   Addressing issues directly with your partner instead of using sarcasm, silence or pulling in a third person to mediate or vent to- this kills respect.

 In closing- I would like to remind you that respect is truly the key to all relationships-even more than love. And if you feel yourself losing respect for someone you love, that isn’t a failure-it’s a signal. A signal to communicate honestly, to slow down, to do the work together  and to give one another the opportunity to earn it back. Love can survive a lot of things , but when it comes to respect in order to survive it has to be protected.

Enjoy!

Joanne

The Aging Mask- A Lifestyle Medicine Podcast

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