Why the Camera Doesn't See You the Way People Do

Why do you look so different in photos?

Why do some people seem naturally photogenic, while others avoid the camera altogether?

In this episode, I will talk with you  about the surprising  science behind pictures, why being photogenic isn't the same as being attractive, and why a single picture never tells your whole story.

And most importantly, you will find out why its time to stop avoiding the camera, and start  being part of your own memories.

Picture the last time you got ready to go out.

You had completed all 3 S’s.. you showered, shaved, and styled.

You looked in the mirror and the…

Outfit was perfect

Your hair looked great

Your makeup was on point

you felt really good 

and your confidence was  high

then someone said “let’s take a picture”

then click, picture was taken- and a few seconds later you looked at the photo and thought ….

wait, what happened?

Who is that?

I look older.

I look Heavier.

I look tired.

Why do I suddenly have two chins?

I ‘am so not photogenic

Does that sound familiar? 

So what happened?

Was the mirror lying to you?

Is the camera lying?

Or is there something about pictures that changes the way we see ourselves?

Why do some people seem naturally photogenic while some of us feel like the camera never captures who we really are?

Why do some people photograph so beautifully while others never feel like the camera captures who they really are?

The answer completely changed the way I look at photos.. and myself..

When you meet someone in real life you are not analyzing every feature on their face.

You are listening

You are making eye contact

You are watching them smile

And you are noticing how they move, laugh, and interact.

We naturally notice warmth, confidence, kindness curiosity, and genuine eye contact. We respond to someone’s energy, not justtheir appearance.

We experience people

We don’t study them the way a camera does.

A camera captures a face. People experiencea person.

 Pictures make us look different because our eyes don’t work like cameras. A camera records light. that’s it.

Your brain does something different.

Your brain combines light with:

 movement, 

expression, 

depth

voice

emotion

and familiarity

Your brain is constantly building a living picture of the people around you, and  a camera freezes one tiny fraction of a second. Those are two completely different experiences.

So, if you have ever looked at a photo and thought.. "that’s not what I look like", you are probably right. The camera captured a split second of reflected light.

 The first thing I want you to understand is that being photogenic is not the same as being attractive.

Some faces just translate better into photographs. Certain facial features naturally create more definition when they are flattened into a picture. 

The camera may naturally capture their facial features a little more easily. 

Good Lighting, the right camera angle, and perfect timing in front of the camera can make a huge difference too.

On the other hand, someone who feels tense or self-conscious may look less natural in a photo, and the camera happened to catch that moment of tension. That one split second can make the difference between a photo you love and one you immediately want to delete.

Being photogenic is really a combination of how your unique facial features interact with light, the camera, and the moment the camera snaps  (again, it is not a measure of your attractiveness), it’s simply a measure of how well one frozen moment translated into a photo.

Here is something you probably don’t think about… 

3D to 2D.   That’s really the biggest reason why you think you look different in photos.

We live in a 3 dimensional world.

Everything around us has, height, width, and depth- including your face.

Your face has depth

- your nose projects foreword, 

_your cheekbones curve outward

 _and your eye sit deeper in their sockets. 

And Your chin has shape. ..

Every face is a landscape of contours and angles.

But the moment a camera takes your picture all that depth is compressed into a flat, two dimensional image.

Pictures are 2 dimensional.

When depth disappears.. your face changes;

your jawline loses definition

Your nose may seem larger

Your body may look wider or flatter than it actually is.

Obviously is not that your face changed, but the camera removed the depth from your face.

When someone looks at you in real life , their brain is constantly interpreting tiny visual clues. It uses shadows, perspective and the way light wraps around your face to understand its true shape- it instantly reconstructs a 3dimensional version of you.

A photo can’t do that. It reduces all those depth cues to a flat surface.

This is one reason so many of us say “ that doesn’t even look like me” when they see a picture of themselves.. they are not imagining it.

That picture isn’t showing the full version of your face. It's showing a flattened version of a 3 dimensional person- and that is a very different experience from meeting someone in real life.

DO you actually have a good side?

Yes. Scientifically you do.

Nobody has a perfectly symmetrical face. In fact, if you could split your face right down the middle you would probably notice that one eyebrow sits a little higher... 

One eye opens a little wider

One cheekbone is slightly more prominent, or one side of your smile lifts just a bit more.

Those tiny differences are completely normal. They give your face character.

When a camera flattens your face those tiny differences may become more noticeable- one side may catch the light a little better, create more flattering shadows, or just photograph more naturally.

Here is what I wonder.

How much time have you spent criticizing every photo of yourself over something that isn’t even an accurate representation?

One frozen in time pic

One awkward expression

One bad angle

Harsh lighting

And somehow we have allowed that single image to become evidence of how we think we look.

The next time a photo doesn’t “look like you”- remember: it’s not lying it’s just not complete.

Enjoy!

Joanne Demers

The Aging Mask- A Lifestyle Medicine Podcast

(949)236-1529

Follow along on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/theagingmask

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi, welcome back to the Aging Mass Podcast, a lifestyle medicine podcast where together we explore lifestyle, wellness, and our everyday choices that shape the way we age. I am Joanne Demurs, your weekly wellness companion. Thank you for taking the time to listen to this episode today. I greatly appreciate it. And I appreciate you. Have you, well, let's do this. Will you picture for me the last time you got ready to go out? And not grocery shopping or to the mall when you got ready to go out, go out, like to a date night, a dinner party, something fancy. Okay, picture that. You were at home, you completed the three S's, you showered, you shaved, and you styled. Yeah, I changed the last S, I should tell you. I changed it to styled because I like that better. So you shower, you shaved, and you styled, you looked great, you look in the mirror, your outfit was perfect, your hair looks great, your makeup was on point, and you felt really, really good, and your confidence was really, really high. You take that one last look in the mirror, do your little wiggle, and say, You look really good tonight. Have fun, go kill it. You go to said venue, you're having a blast. Then someone says, Hey, let's take a picture. Then click, the picture was taken, and a few seconds later you look at said picture and you thought, wait, what happened here? Who is that? Has that happened to you where you look at a photo and go, Who is that? You look older, you look heavier, you look tired. Why do you suddenly have two chins? Why are you not photogenic? Does any of that sound familiar? So, what happened? Was the mirror lying to you? Is the camera lying? Or is there just something about pictures that change the way that we see ourselves? And why do some people seem naturally photogenic while some of us feel like the camera never captures who we really are? It doesn't capture that person that was standing in the mirror two hours ago that looked amazing. What the heck? What happened? I have wondered that for years, or I should say, I wondered that for years, because for most of my life I believed that I wasn't photogenic. In fact, I disliked being in pictures so much because I was so unphotogenic and I took the worst pictures. I felt like the camera never captured the real me, what I thought I looked like. I always looked at someone I didn't even know. It wasn't the person that I left the house looking like. So I didn't like it. So what happened was I volunteered to be the one taking them. So I became the photographer. And I didn't care because I loved taking pictures. I just didn't like being in pictures. And if I happened to be in a photo, I would immediately look at it and decide that I hated it. So I would delete it. Easy. Well, it's gone. One swipe and it's gone forever. And I'm almost embarrassed to admit this, but I was even known for deleting pictures of myself from other people's phones. I did. And my family eventually they have, I to this day, I can't hold their phones. They stopped handing me their phones because they knew that I would erase any photo that I didn't like. And I would do exactly that. I would take their phone to pretend to look at a picture, and while they were distracted, I would swipe and delete every picture that I was in. Every picture never existed. And at the time, I thought that I was protecting my image. I know it's dumb, but and I'm you're you probably did the same thing. But now, today, I am so, so mad at myself for doing that. If I could take it all back, I would let every single picture that I've ever taken be out there. I don't care. And here I thought I was saving myself from embarrassment, but I was what I was actually doing, I was robbing myself of memories. I was hurting myself. I robbed myself and others of memories, and that really bums me out. It really bums me out. I just I always have found it so strange that some people photograph so beautifully while some of us never feel like the camera really captures who we are. I just I don't know. But the answer that I have found has changed the way that I look at photos and myself. When we meet someone in real life, we're not analyzing every feature on their face. You're listening, you're making eye contact, you're watching them smile, and you're noticing how they move, how they laugh, how they interact. We naturally notice their warmth, their confidence, the kindness, the curiosity, and the genuine eye contact. We respond to someone's energy, not just their appearance. We experience people. We don't study them the way a camera does. A camera captures a face. People experience a person. Pictures make us look different because our eyes don't work like cameras. A camera records light. That's it. They record light, and your brain does something different. Your brain combines that light with movement, expression, depth, voice, emotion, and familiarity. Your brain is constantly building a living picture of the people around you. A living picture. And the camera freezes one tiny fraction of a second. Those are two completely different experiences. So if you've ever looked at a photo and thought that's not what I look like, you're probably right. Because the camera captured only a split second of reflected light. Now, the first thing that I want you to understand, that I would love for you to understand, is that being photogenic is not the same as being attractive. Being photogenic is not the same as being attractive. Some faces just translate better into photographs. Certain facial features naturally create more definition when they are flattened into a flat picture. And the camera may naturally capture their facial features a little more easily than yours. Okay, good lighting, the right camera angle, and perfect timing in front of the camera can make a huge difference too. And on the other hand, someone who feels tense or self-conscious may look less natural in a photo, and the capra the camera happened to catch that moment of tension. That one split second can make the difference between a photo that you love and one that you immediately want to delete. So your tension and your self-consciousness has a lot to do with it. The good lighting, the right camera angle. I cannot talk, the right camera angle, and honestly, maybe it's just the camera may naturally capture someone's facial features a little more easily than yours. That's it. And being photogenic is really a combination of how your unique facial features interact with light, the camera, and the moment the camera snaps. Again, it's not a measure of your attractiveness, it's simply a measure of how well one frozen moment translated into a photo. And here's something that you probably don't think about 3D to 2D. That's really the biggest reason why you think you look different in photos. Because we live in a three-dimensional world. Everything around us has height, weight, width, and depth, including your face. Your face has depth. Your nose projects forward, your cheekbones curve outward, and your eyes even sit deeper in their sockets. And your chin has a shape in your three-dimensional world. Every face is a landscape of contours and angles. Every face. But the moment a camera takes your picture, all that depth is compressed into a flat, two-dimensional image. Pictures are two-dimensional. So when depth disappears, your face changes, your jawline loses definition, your nose may seem larger, your body may look wider or flatter than it actually is. Obviously, it's not that your face changed, but the camera removed the depth from your face. So when someone looks at you in real life, their brain is constantly interpreting tiny visual clues. It uses shadows, perspective, and the way light wraps around your face to understand its true shape. It instantly reconstructs a three-dimensional version of you. A photo can't do that. It reduces all those depth cues to a flat surface. And this is one of the reasons that so many of us say that that picture doesn't even look like me when they see pictures of themselves. And they're not a man, they're not imagining it. That picture isn't showing the full version of your face, it's showing you a flattened version of a three-dimensional person. And that is a very different experience from meeting someone in real life, and meeting yourself, actually, and seeing yourself. Yes, scientifically, you do have a good side. Nobody, excuse me, nobody has a perfectly symmetrical face. In fact, if you could split your face right down the middle, you would probably notice that one eyebrow sits a little higher, one may sit a little lower, one eye opens a little wider than the other, and one cheekbone is maybe a little slightly more prominent, one side of your smile lifts just a little bit more. We are not perfectly symmetrical. Whether you think people look like that or not, nobody has a perfectly symmetrical face, and those tiny differences are completely normal. They give your face character. When a camera flattens your face, those tiny differences may become more noticeable because one side may catch the light a little better, create more flattering shadows, or just photograph more naturally. And don't go getting all bummed that that this does not mean that your other side is a bad side. It just means one side works better with the camera. And I want to give you some quick tips on how to find your good side. It's nothing long and drawn out because I don't I don't like stuff that takes forever. So to find your photogenic side, try this. And these do work, by the way. I have tried them. So I'm speaking from experience. Stand in front of the mirror and slowly turn your head a few degrees to the left, then a few degrees to the right. Notice which angle makes your eyes look brighter or gives your jawline more definition. You do have one side, but you have to make sure that you have the same lighting and everything, like it's the same lighting. Okay, don't do it at a different time. Do it at the same time. So everything, even the weather is the same. Okay, so do that a few degrees to the right and a few degrees to the left, and you'll see the angle that makes your eye look brighter or give your jawline more definition. And you can do this also by taking selfies. Experiment with selfies, take a few photos from each side, again in the same lighting, and compare them. It's very quick. And another simple trick is to turn your body slightly when you're taking a picture. Instead of facing the camera straight on, do a slight turn, relax a shoulder, and extend your chin a tiny bit forward and a tiny bit up. And this will add definition and keep your neck from disappearing into the photo. You won't end up with three or four chins. Okay. So when someone says take a picture, get in your line or whatever, make a slight, slight turn in your body, relax your shoulder and extend your chin and lift it up a little bit out and a little bit forward. And this will make you look like yourself. It's very strange. And most importantly, the biggest tip of all: don't become obsessed with finding your good side. In the big picture, it really isn't that important. You don't need to spend hours. Just honestly, to be honest with you, I didn't, I don't really care which side is my good side because I'm not one of those people to go, oh, here, move me. I'm over here, and fight over a position and a picture. I'm not that person. So I just now do the slight turn, relax my shoulder. It's all kind of in your chin. It does make, yeah, your neck will not disappear when you do that. And don't just please, please, please, don't become obsessed with finding your good side. It's really not that important. And did you hear what I said there in the big picture? In the big picture, it's really not that important. And the best photos usually aren't the perfectly posed ones anyway. So find an angle that you like if it gives you more confidence, then forget about it. Just be present and enjoy the moment. Just be present and enjoy the moment. The next one. Does makeup make you more photogenic? And the answer is it can, it definitely can. And not because it makes you better looking, makeup makes certain features easier for the camera to capture. Okay. Remember, since a camera only records light and flattens a three-dimensional face into a two-dimensional face, in that process, your natural shadows and facial definition can disappear. And that's where makeup can help. Makeup's real job in photos isn't about looking pretty, obviously. It's about controlling shadow and light on a flat surface. Makeup helps the camera read your face. Little mascara or a little eyeliner makes your eyes stand out. A little lipstick adds contrast. A light contour or bronzer can recreate some of the depth that the camera naturally removes. Even a little powder reduces that shine, which of course helps the camera see your features more clearly once that shine is gone. So all of this, the camera will read your face in three-dimensional again. And the most important thing to remind yourself of is that you don't mean you don't need makeup to be photogenic. Okay? You do not need makeup to be photogenic. It helps, but a genuine smile, relaxed facial muscles, good lighting, and confidence usually make a much bigger difference than makeup ever will. Here's what I wonder. Here's what I wonder. How much time have you spent criticizing every photo of yourself over something that isn't even an accurate representation? It's one frozen moment in time. An awkward expression, one bad angle, harsh lighting. And somehow we have allowed that single image to become evidence of how we think we look. The next time a photo doesn't quote unquote look like you, remember it's not lying, it's just not the complete version of you. With that being said, here's I Field the question that really matters. And that is how many pictures have you stayed out of because you don't like the way that you photograph? And I know my answer, and that's too many. I have years of birthdays, vacations, holidays, even ordinary days, thousands of pictures. And in far too many, I'm not in them. I'm missing. And not because I wasn't there, it's because I chose not to be in the picture. And again, at the time, I thought I was avoiding an unflattering picture, but instead, I erased myself from my own history. And if I could go back, I wouldn't worry about taking a bad picture. I would step right on in there and have that picture taken. Because today, years later, something happened. I don't look at the old picture and critique my smile, my mouth, or my eyes. I just now remember that day, the people I was with, the fun I had, the laughs, the vacation, the birthday, the conversations. That photo became a doorway back to that moment. That's why pictures become so much more valuable as I get older. Not because they're perfect, but because they are proof that I was there, that I lived that moment. Today, if someone says, let's take a picture, I get in. I jump right in. I want to know that I was there. I will slightly turn my body and I'll lift my chin up and out. I'll relax my shoulder. And how it turns out, it turns out. At the end of the day, I want you to develop a little bit of an I don't care attitude when it comes to having your picture taken. We have become so critical of ourselves. We examine every picture, we zoom in, we compare, and then we delete it. Then we take the same picture over and over again, trying to capture perfection. And in that process, we lose that moment and we stop enjoying that moment. If your eyes are closed in a family photo, by all means take another one. But if you're taking 15 or 20 versions of the same photo, you've already missed what you were trying to remember in the first place. And years from now, your spouse, your kids, your grandkids, and your friends and family, they won't care whether it looks like you have a 15 chins or a big nose, or you look heavier than you are, or even if your hair cooperated that day, they'll just be grateful that you're in the picture. And here's the amazing part: when you look back at old photos years from now, you won't critique them the same way that you did the day that they were taken. That's why pictures become the story of your life. They are proof that you were there, that you laughed, that you celebrated birthdays, that you took vacations, that you loved adventure and traveling, and you shared ordinary moments that someday become extraordinary memories. So take the selfies, get in the group photo, hand your photo to a or hand your phone to a stranger if you have to. Get that picture taken. Be a part of your own history. And the next time you look at a picture and think, ugh, that doesn't even look like me. Just remember everything we've talked about today. A photo is only a flat, silent, motionless slice of light. It can't capture your voice, your laughter, your youth, your personality. Those are the things that make you you. And stop saying that you're not photogenic. You're just so full of life, and that's impossible to capture completely in a single photo. You're just too full of life to be captured in a picture. The greatest loss isn't taking a bad picture, it's not being in the picture at all. That's the loss, is not being in the picture at all. So be in the photo. Be in the picture. That's all for today. I hope you learned something fun. Thank you again for listening, and I'll talk to you next Wednesday. Until then, live in gratitude, keep on moving, and go live your best day yet. Enjoy. If you enjoyed this episode and just can't wait to hear and learn more, don't forget to subscribe to the Aging Mask, a lifestyle medicine podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. So please leave a review on the Made Aging Mask Instagram. Or if you don't have socials or you're taking a break, feel free to text me at the Aging Mask 949-236 1529. Again, 949-236-1529. We can talk about this episode or any of my prior episodes. Let's have a conversation. Talk to you next week.