BETWEEN SESSIONS – Can a chat bot be a relationship substitute?

Between sessions is when Dr Audrey reflects on what has been going on during the week – and this week it’s about the importance of connecting in real life.  Related to last week on the need for more connection IRL, this week, Dr Audrey considers the impact of chat bots and whether they can ever be a true substitute for a relationship.

About the Show

Each Thursday at 4pm, we broadcast on LinkedIn and YouTube, with the podcast released on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and more. 

Then every Friday at 8am, you’ll also receive a bonus podcast episode (like this one) - a carefully selected recent conversation offering practical insight and timeless support.

Wherever you listen, you’re invited to pause, reflect, and reconnect: 

PODCAST: https://mentalhealthmatters.buzzsprout.com

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5dbYRwciNQ3c2hZwpsfxnNIvpijH4S2b 

Today's show is hosted by

Dr Audrey Tang www.draudreyt.com  @draudreyt

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Hello and welcome to Mental Health Matters Between Sessions with me, Dr. Audrey Tang. This is a bit of a follow-on from my last reflection. And this is where I'm asking the question: can a chatbot relieve loneliness? And actually, before I say anything, I think the answer is yes. And sadly, it's because I think we're a bit of a disjointed mess in real life. Or maybe that's just me. But here's some research. A third of teenagers are using AI chatbots for companionship, and more than half of adults report feeling lonely. Recently, the Independent ran an article about a therapist using AI to explore whether the therapeutic relationship can be emulated. And while she had concerns, as do I, many of those commenting felt that in moderation Chat GPT can be pretty good. But let's dial it back and start first on the problems that I can see. And within all of this online connection, many of us are actually offline lonely. There are two types of loneliness experienced: emotional, which is the companionship of a specific person, and social, not having a wider network of friends. Unfortunately, in a fast-paced world where project-based workloads may mean moving constantly or a lot of travelling, friendships can be less rooted and they are certainly less easy to form. And when someone feels lonely, not only is it a feeling of invisibility, but it can really affect our cognitive processing. Research has shown that someone who's experiencing loneliness exists in a state of hyper-vigilance, which makes them more wary and expectant of a negative response from others. And this can lead to a really vicious cycle in real life. If you're expecting negativity, you might act in a way that elicits it, and here comes the self-fulfilling prophecy. And social media and other forms of technology can certainly simulate company, but is it really that fundamental connection that many humans desire and even could it be considered healthy long term? So here's the first question: Is it safe to use AI chatbots for companionship? My answer is yes with caveats. On the one hand, you must recognize you are conversing with a tech company that wants to learn personal data. It's not necessarily someone can catfishing you with nefarious purposes. But I am saying there are consequences. Also, if you get too attached to the chatbot and the empathy chatbots are used to keep you online, always offering you that would you like me to, rather than telling you, how about you go out and make some connections, you might get into a situation where you get into a cycle. And then coming back to the tech companies, that tech company can change that bot at the drop of a hat or at the drop of some code. And we've had instances of this where people have got attached to a chatbot, and then the company running it has changed it. People don't feel so connected anymore, and that company's actually had to reinstall legacy models so that people were able to reinstate their old conversations. But also, an AI chatbot cannot adequately substitute for human interaction, especially when it comes to understanding nuance and when it comes to true comfort, when it comes to challenging you, when it comes to feeling the energy of being in the space. But the reason when that I wanted to put this into context is because when it comes to loneliness, we as a society are becoming more and more disconnected. And sometimes the AI chatbot is the best that is on offer. So if we are using AI, what are some of the red flags we need to look out for? Well, if someone's always going back to the chatbot or spending all their time there, which may in turn lead to behaviors in real life, there may be questions beyond are you okay that need to be asked. So withdrawing from things in real life, if you notice that, if there's a sign that there is something else more enticing online that is commandeering their attention, those behaviors would indicate that there is something off emotionally. However, this relies on us paying enough attention to each other to notice that something is wrong or to notice that something is different. So there are benefits of using AI chatbots for loneliness. For example, suggestions of what to do when you're lonely. AI can also give you a sense of validation that your feelings are real, but they are programmed to do that and it can become very addictive, and it can also get you into a spiral of quite distorted views of reality if you're always being validated. It's worth pointing out that AI operates on a cognitive level. If you, like me, have a preference for cognitive empathy, it may well work for you to have those conversations with ChatGPT to get you back on track. But AI will never be an effective emotional substitute. Not when you compare it to somebody who can be with you in real time holding your hand. If you are lucky to be part of a community, embrace that experience and keep an eye on others. We always say if someone is down, check in on them, but we actually need to know what they look like when they're up. And that means looking up from our phones.