BETWEEN SESSIONS – Less Content More Connection

Between sessions is when Dr Audrey reflects on what has been going on during the week – and this week it’s about the importance of connecting in real life.  There is so much content, and yes, we get that this is part of that continuous channel of information – but we need to make time to talk…really talk, face-to-face too!

About the Show

Each Thursday at 4pm, we broadcast on LinkedIn and YouTube, with the podcast released on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and more. 

Then every Friday at 8am, you’ll also receive a bonus podcast episode (like this one) - a carefully selected recent conversation offering practical insight and timeless support.

Wherever you listen, you’re invited to pause, reflect, and reconnect: 

PODCAST: https://mentalhealthmatters.buzzsprout.com

YOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL5dbYRwciNQ3c2hZwpsfxnNIvpijH4S2b 

Today's show is hosted by

Dr Audrey Tang www.draudreyt.com  @draudreyt

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Hello and welcome to Mental Health Matters Between Sessions. This is a short reflective podcast with me, Dr. Audrey Tang, where I think about the things that have been playing on my mind this week. And today it's all about less content and more connection. Now I'm going to start with a digression. I teach the following when I teach leadership. We look at psychosocial health and safety, and one of the researchers in this field is Karen Scholes. And this is where organizations are encouraged to treat psychological well-being in the same way as physical. So for example, if I go to work and fall down a hole, health and safety fixes the hole. They don't give me coaching to walk around the hole. They don't give me training to get out of the hole. However, if I'm burned out, what actually happens is I get coaching to be more resilient and training to cope with stress rather than fixing the hole. Sometimes you cannot just rest at the individual level. It's the system that needs to be fixed. And recently I nearly had to eat my words. On mental health matters, I was speaking to a cybersecurity expert about how to help our parents, elderly parents, not get scammed online. And the conversation turned to romance scams. And whilst I was talking, I was thinking, well, you know, how can we educate people more? How can we help them to speak up more? And it dawned on me that actually the problem is not necessarily someone's ashamed to speak up because they've been scammed, but rather their world is so lonely that actually being in an online relationship, and I say that in inverted commas, with a scammer is nicer than what actual reality may be. And this is where I began thinking: are we part of this problem? Yes, technological advances are happening all the time, but have we really created a world that is so devoid of healthy and happy human interaction that a chat GPT boyfriend or girlfriend who can only simulate emotion, for example, is better than nothing at all? Are we really so disconnected that an elderly parent would rather chat with someone on words with friends that they don't know and potentially send loads of money to them because I don't have time to see them? Do we really have no more ideas than to sit our child in front of a screen, than maybe go out for a walk together? No phones. And I ask this because I don't think we're always productively busy when we're on our phones. Yes, sometimes we might be doing our online banking. Yes, sometimes we're answering a work email. But how often are we actually just scrolling on social media? Whatever it is we're doing, I implore you, get offline and smell the flowers, literally. I don't mind if you want out WhatsApp a friend to meet up, but don't let virtual reality become the substitute for actual reality because this is what could well be happening. When we ask why are children so interested in their mobile phones, could it be because the thing that's opposing them, the real world, the alternative, is simply not as attractive. And if that's the case, it's really worrying. Architects talk about the first space, which is the home, the second space, which is work, the third, which is leisure, and I worry that the fourth has become online. If we could spend more time in conversation, we maybe wouldn't need to give Gen Z lessons in small talk. If we spent more time with our parents or made sure they had an offline network that we trusted in our absence, maybe we wouldn't need to worry about them clicking a spurious link. If we went out and met people as a matter of course, even if it's just saying hi or having a telephone conversation, then maybe, just maybe, some of us wouldn't be feeling quite so lonely or anxious or depressed. Now I know this doesn't address when you have a rift in the family or when you're working three jobs to make ends meet, but on the basic, low level that we can affect our corner of the world, we need to start asking ourselves, how can I fix the hole? And here's some really simple changes we can make. Put your phone away over dinner, play a board game rather than sit around the TV without the temptation to turn on your phone. Maybe leave your phone at home if you go out for a walk or at least switch off notifications. And maybe check in with people in person and arrange to spend quality time with them. And and I get it's hard because when my parents were alive, I always got the oh, I don't want to be a bother. But you know what? My dad never complained when I picked him up from his dialysis every Tuesday and took him out for lunch. And my mum was always delighted when I made the three-hour round trip to Hastings every other weekend. It wasn't as much as perhaps I could have done. But at the time it was what I could manage practically and emotionally, and I'm glad I did it. And even now, I'm considering a bit of a repurpose to my studio to allow it to open up for more interaction, maybe more events, more talks, more classes, less content, more connection. You don't need to create a structure, but just make one simple change to your routine to connect better with others in real life. For me, that's checking in better with my friends. And when I've done that, that's actually led to deeper conversations, which have surprised and delighted me. And maybe it's if you want to connect better on social media, even, that a comment could lead to a more meaningful interaction than a like alone.