Let's Talk About........With Nicky Perfect
For over a decade, Nicky Perfect BEM served as a Hostage and Crisis Negotiator, working with people and families in moments of extreme crisis. She went on to become Course Director for the UK’s National Negotiation Course and has trained negotiators and leaders across the world.
Alongside her operational career, Nicky has studied psychology, relationships, human behaviour, personal development, and coaching. In this podcast, she brings those experiences together to show how the principles of hostage and crisis negotiation can transform everyday communication.
Because communication is at the heart of everything we do — in families, at work, in leadership, and in the toughest conversations we face. When relationships break down, it’s usually because communication has broken down first.
Each episode offers real stories, practical strategies, and powerful insights to help you:
- 🎧 Listen in a way that makes people feel heard
- 💬 Navigate conflict with calm and confidence
- 🌱 Build stronger, healthier relationships at home and at work
Learn the skills that save lives — and discover how they can change yours.
Episodes
130 episodes
What If The Hard Part Of Step Parenting Is You
Step parenting can feel like walking into a story halfway through and being expected to know your lines. I talk candidly about what surprised me most when I became a step parent in my 40s, why good intentions are not enough, and how quickly eve...
A Single Conversation Sparked A Trip That Changed How I Communicate
A 14-hour bus ride, four hours along some very challenging roads and a village welcome filled with singing and dancing.It sounds like a travel story, but my trip to Tanzania became something much more.I came home thinking about co...
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Why Conflict Happens And How To Talk Through It
One small moment can light a fuse: a late sleep-in, a sharp comment, a meeting that goes sideways, a family gathering where you brace for tension. I’ve just come back from a life-shifting trip that left me feeling deeply grateful, and it also g...
Transparent Communication Builds Credibility Before You Need It
Trust is harder than ever to win, and easier than ever to lose. We sit down with Bradley Harris, a boutique strategic advisor with years in boardrooms and high-stakes environments, to break down what trust actually looks like in real communicat...
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You Cannot Control Others But You Can Control Your Response
The news can make your chest feel heavy in seconds. One brutal headline, one angry debate, one more “nothing I do will matter” thought and suddenly you’re stuck in helplessness. We wanted to sit with that feeling and ask a simple, uncomfortable...
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What If The Problem Is The System Not The Child
“You’re nice to us.” That’s what the kids said when Sally Michaels asked why they could learn in her setting but not in school, and it’s the line that frames everything we explore here. Sally runs Blue Squid, a non-school alternative provision ...
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Mum, Dad, We Need To Talk
The moment you realise you need to say “Mum, Dad, we need to talk” can hit like a wave. Not because you don’t love them, but because the topics are loaded: driving safety, memory changes, money worries, and the painful question of whether they ...
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What Would A Good Handover Look Like
Death admin is one of those tasks that feels “optional” right up until the day it becomes urgent. We sit down with Caro from Your Final Matters to talk about the reality facing the sandwich generation: juggling work, kids, and ageing parents wh...
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From Anticipatory Grief To Sudden Loss And Healing Tools
One phone call can split your life into a before and after and grief rarely stops at just one loss. I’m joined by Lisa Archer from Holistic Life Coaching, who shares her deeply personal story of receiving a brain cancer diagnosis for her dad wh...
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Under The Mask It Is Absolute Chaos
You can spend decades thinking you are disorganised, too intense, too sensitive, or simply “not trying hard enough” and still look like you have it together. Then one ADHD assessment lands, and suddenly your whole timeline rearranges itself. I’...
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What If Listening Is The Real Leash
Your dog is not ignoring you, they are choosing what feels most meaningful in the moment. That one idea reshapes everything, from recall training to the way we speak to the people we love. We sit down with Sam (Sameaysam.com), a relationship-fi...
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How To Respond When Someone Says They Want To Die
Someone tells you, “I can’t do this anymore,” and suddenly every sentence you’ve ever known disappears. That freeze is normal, but it’s also the moment where a few simple words and a steady presence can change the direction of a life.We...
Surviving Summer With A Teenager
Your teenager used to want to do everything with you and now they would rather sleep, scroll, or stay in their room and somehow the summer holidays make that shift feel even louder. I talk honestly about the guilt, the internal questions, and t...
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Parenting Teens Without Losing Yourself
Teenagers can go from cuddles to closed doors so fast it feels personal, and that’s where many parent-teen conversations start to break down. We dig into what’s really happening during adolescent brain development, why emotions run hotter than ...
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The World Cup, The In-Laws, And The Big Pause Button
There are parts of this podcast where the sound dips a little, this is due to a poor signal whilst recording.Holidays put relationships under a microscope. The same people you adore can become the people you clash with fastest, es...
What Changes When You Stop Hiding
In this episode of Let's Talk About, I sit down with Tom Emery, founder of HEX Talent and Development, to explore authenticity, trust, emotional self-awareness, and the conversations many of us avoid.Tom shares his personal journey of gr...
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How To Turn Teen Conflict Into Cooperation
Your teenager didn’t wake up one morning and decide to become impossible. The shift can feel sudden, but there are real reasons behind the door-slamming, the sarcasm, the “that’s not fair”, and the long stretches of silence from their room. We ...
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From Trauma To Tools For Healing
Silence can feel polite, but it can also be lethal. We sit down with Heather Rose and talk about the subjects many families tiptoe around: bullying, suicide, miscarriage, and the messy reality of living with trauma while still needing to show u...
Living Alongside Grief
Grief is not one feeling, it is a total rewrite of your life, your body, and your relationships. We’re joined by Clare, someone who has lived through multiple devastating losses, including the sudden death of her mum from rare gallbladder cance...
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How To Stay Calm In Difficult Conversations
The fastest way to ruin a difficult conversation is to believe you can control the other person. We talk through what actually happens in the mind and body when stress hits, and why grief, loss, change, and fear can flip us from logical thinkin...
An Undercover Cop’s Breaking Point And The Road Back
One morning can split your life in two. Todd joined me to tell the story he carried for years: finding his girlfriend Karen after she died by suicide on New Year’s Day, and the shock that followed him into everything that came next. What he sha...
When Grief Gets Quiet
The most painful part of grief can be what happens after the condolences stop. When everyone returns to their routines, the person who lost someone is left with the quiet, the calendar, and the dates that suddenly feel impossible. ...
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A Crisis Negotiator’s Guide To Talking About Grief
Grief can make you feel like the world should stop, yet everything keeps moving and you’re left trying to keep up. I’m on my own for this one, speaking as a former hostage and crisis negotiator who’s heard hundreds of stories from people in cri...
Why Boys Don’t Ask For Help And How Schools Can Change That
Every suicide callout Claire attended as a police officer was male and that pattern haunted her long after the blue lights switched off. Claire Dunn joined Essex Police at 20, spent 18 years responding to crisis, and was medically retired with ...
What If Strength Meant Asking For Help
Suicide is still taking too many men, and the scariest part is how often it happens in silence. I sit down with Aldo Kane, former Royal Marines commando and one of the world’s go-to safety and expedition leads for extreme TV and film, to talk a...
