The Get Healthy Tampa Bay Podcast

E150: Dr. Gloria Esoimeme on Grit, Big Dreams, Negotiation, and Contentment in Life & Work

• Kerry Reller

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Welcome to the Get Healthy Tampa Bay Podcast with Dr. Kerry Reller! This week, I am joined by Dr. Gloria Esoimeme, an internal medicine physician with a Master’s in Global Health, a PhD in Health Services Policy and Management, and a passion for helping women lead and negotiate with confidence. In this episode, we explore grit as a “muscle,” how Dr. Gloria left Nigeria with just $250 and built her dream career across continents, and what truly separates dreamers from doers. Dr. Gloria shares practical insights on balancing ambition with contentment, building a support system, and using negotiation skills both in your career and in the exam room to help patients say yes to preventive care. Tune in to learn how to cultivate grit, face fear, and move toward the life you really want.

Dr. Esoimeme is an Internal Medicine Physician with a Masters in Global Health and a PhD in Health Services Policy and Management. With her academic background and experience living in Nigeria, the United States, and the UAE, she equips professional women with the skills to lead, negotiate, and succeed.

As a consultant, she helps individuals and organizations break barriers, build confidence, and achieve lasting success. Through her podcast, workshops, and keynote speeches, she shares expert insights, practical strategies, and inspiring stories to empower women in every aspect of life.

00:00 Welcome & introducing Dr. Gloria Esoimeme
00:41 What grit really means & why it’s a “muscle”
03:15 Leaving Nigeria with $250 & following a vision
08:55 Scholarships, struggle & trusting the process
14:43 Why fear stops dreamers from becoming doers
17:27 Is grit teachable? How to build it daily
19:45 Balancing ambition with true contentment
23:39 The power of support systems & vulnerability
27:46 Teaching women how to negotiate with confidence
34:48 Using negotiation in healthcare & screening decisions
37:11 Final message on greatness & where to find Dr. Gloria

Connect with Dr. Esoimeme
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@DrGloriaEsoimeme
LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-gloria-esoimeme
IG: https://www.instagram.com/gloriaesoimeme
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/19xtnqkCfX/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Connect with Dr. Reller
Podcast website: https://gethealthytbpodcast.buzzsprou... 
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kerryrellermd/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ClearwaterFamilyMedicine
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clearwaterfamilymedicine/
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kerryrellermd
Clearwater Family Medicine and Allergy website: https://sites.google.com/view/clearwa...
Podcast: https://gethealthytbpodcast.buzzsprou...

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Kerry:

Hi everybody. Welcome back to the Get Healthy Tampa Bay podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Kerry Reller, and today on the Get Healthy Tampa Bay podcast, I'm joined by Dr. Gloria Esoimeme. Welcome to the podcast.

Gloria:

Thank you for having me, Dr Reller.

Kerry:

Yeah, so Dr. Gloria is an internal medicine physician with a Master's in Global Health and a PhD in Health Services policy and management. She's also a coach and a speaker who helps women lead confidently, negotiate their worth, and build balance fulfilling lives. Dr. Gloria's own story is remarkable. She left Nigeria with$250 and a visiting visa, and within 10 years achieved her dream of earning a master's, a PhD, and completing residency. Today she's joining us all the way from Dubai to talk about the power of grit, pursuing your dreams and ultimately finding contentment in the process. So, Dr. Gloria, welcome to the podcast, of course. And you've described, you know, grit as a cornerstone of your journey. How would you personally define it?

Gloria:

Yeah. Thank you so much for having me on your podcast, and thank you for that warm introduction. And yes, I did leave Nigeria with$250. Thinking about that now, I'm just wondering what was I thinking like I got on the plane with just$250 and I had all these dreams. But that's what led to me developing grit. But I think prior to that, just going through medical school. That's something medicine would teach you. Like for my colleagues who trained in the us You know what it took you to study for the mcat? Right before the mcat? You know what it took you to have the GPA you had for you to get into med school and then study for the mcat? You know, all the tears you cried. The time she took the test, it didn't turn out as great as you took, as you thought it was gonna turn out, and then you kept pushing, and then finally you got into med school and you're like, oh my God, thank you. Now I'm in med school. And then the journey starts all over again. Right? So that's what I would call grit. GR is that staying power, that's that ability to keep going and you just keep going, but it's not a gift, right? GR not a gift. It's something, it's a muscle that's developed over time. So let me just tell my story just so as I tell my story along the way, we would see how great plays comes into play, and then how you can become content just because you've developed grit to pursue your dreams. So back to when I was in Nigeria. I was in my twenties when I finished med school, and I, I remember being in the children emergency room and I was talking to a patient, a, a child, and her mother, and I was done taking my history. And then another of classmates was taking a history. I could hear what they were asking because it was the er, and they said something I, I said, okay, I know they're gonna ask this question next. And they did. I said, okay, they're gonna ask that question next. And they did. I said, they're gonna ask this other. And I was like, okay. I don't think I can do this for the rest of my life. It's too predictable. I want something that's a little bit different. However, I love being a doctor now that it's like the highest calling of my life to take care of patients, to have people trust me with their health. But I knew I wanted more than that. I didn't just want something that was very predictable and then I was thinking, okay, so what can I do that's a little bit different? And then looking at the country, where I was born, where I was, where I'm from, I said, okay, maybe public health would be a good option. I can do research, I can work on health systems to make things better. And then I said, okay, where do I need to, so where do I wanna do my. Where do I wanna, what education do I need? What more do I need? I said, okay, I'll get a master's in public health. And then I looked at all the universities around the world. I'm like, I don't wanna go to the uk. I'm like, well, America, that's the, that's the dream. And I said, okay, I'm gonna move to America. And it was everything I did just moved towards moving to the US and I knew I did not wanna ask my parents for my tuition. And even if I ask them, because when you do the exchange rates between the, the curr, the local currency in in Nigeria and the US dollars, they might have to sell my younger brother or someone for them too. To prepare for my tuition cash.'Cause my dad was already retired. He had sent me through med school, so there was no way I was gonna ask for that. But I didn't stop, I didn't let that stop me. I knew I wanted that dream and what I did was, okay. So what's the first step in? If I wanna move to the us I want to get a masters. What's the first step? The first step is to write the GRE that I could afford. So I'm like, okay, I'll pay for that. I paid for the GRE, I did the exam. I didn't like my score. I'm like, I wanna go to Harvard, right? I'm like, no, this score will not take me to Harvard. So I did the exam again. I scored maybe like 50 points higher. It still did not meet the mark. I'm like, whatever. I'm not gonna take this exam anymore. I just need to get to, I just need to, I'm like, okay, if I don't get Harvard, I'll get Boston University. Best decision of my life ever. And so I, I, I took the GRE went through the whole process of applying waited a few months. Finally, I didn't get into Harvard, but I got into Boston University. Well, before I got into Boston University I had done, there are like if in Nigeria, once you're done with med school, you need to do one year of internship because you don't have to do residency to practice. And then after your one year of internship where you go through the four major specialties you do pediatrics rotation, three months of peds, three months of Im. Three months of surgery, three months of ob, ob GYN, and then that way you have some experience to really care for patients. And so I did that, and then after that, you have to do one year compulsory service to the country. So I did that as well, but that I did in a public health institution just because I knew what my plan was. So I spent one year there. And so when I was done with that one year, I didn't have my admission to Boston University. I just knew Harvard did not give me the admission. I'm like, well, I'm moving to the us. I already made up my, made up my mind, and then I had a visit'cause I had visited the US a few times before, so I had my Visa and I had sisters who were in the, in the US military, but they were all, they were deployed at the time. So I said, well, I'm moving to the US and after I paid for my flight and everything I had$250. I was like, yes, I'm getting on that plane. I got on the plane and then I arrived at the US with my visiting visa. And then finally Boston University gave me admission. They gave me some scholarships and when they gave me the, they sent me, there's a form they sent to you. It's called, I can't remember the name now, but the form, it shows you how much your in quote your tuition is. And then it tells you how much you would need. So what was, there was like$40,000. I was like, oh, that's a lot of money. But I got scholarships for like$10,000 and then I reached out to my sister, applied for a student loan, she co-signed, and then I got in, I got to school. You know what Carrie, sometimes in, sometimes when you are going on a journey, what I would advise anyone is have an idea of the big picture of where you're going. Because sometimes when you know all the nitty gritty of what's gonna happen along the way, you are gonna stop. Because if I knew everything that happened in between, I think I would've stopped. So. So I got to school, I was just happy. I'm in Boston, this beautiful city. I had friends. It was just amazing. And then one day I was talking to one of my colleagues who was also an international student, and he said, yeah, you know, the 40,000 was just for the first semester. We have to think of the second. I said, wait, that's not for the whole program. He said, no. So well, I was just like, you know what? I'm not gonna sweat it. What I'm gonna do is just be,'cause I said, well, I'll figure that out. And I just continued with school. I was just still, you know, being, I was just still on campus and all of that. And then I remember. It was close to the end of the first semester. One of my professors, she called me, God bless her, she's an angel as far as I'm concerned, and she called me to her office. She said, oh, Gloria, I read your E-portfolio. And I was just so touched, and I'm wondering why was she touched? Because we had an E-portfolio where it Said what are the three things that bother you the most? Is it your relationship? Is it school or is it finance? I said it was school work because I had just moved to a new country. I was trying to make friends at the same time. I had to study. I wasn't used to the system. Just trying to wrap my head all around that was a challenge. So I was wondering why was she touched? That was just me being a lazy student or someone who wants to just, you know, get everything at the same time. She was like, no, no, no, no. I was so touched. I'm like, okay. And then she said okay, so what's your problem? I said I, I really don't have any. And finally she said, okay, Gloria, how are you gonna pay your tuition? I was like, oh. I said, well, so I explained the whole situation. She was like, oh, okay. And then I left. Then I remember the, the next semester, it was close to the time to pay our tuition. I was like, I don't really know how I'm gonna pay my tuition. And so I reached out to my sister again. I said, oh, are you gonna co-sign another loan? She was like, well, Gloria, I think I've reached my limits. I can't sign another loan. And then I went to my portal. I saw they had given me another, they had given me scholarship and all I had to pay maybe was like a hundred less than$500 I had to pay as opposed to 20 something thousand dollars. And that happened again in my third semester. I knew it was that professor who had looked at my grades, looked at my whole package, and then put in the award for me. So I got scholarship. And so if I look at that process, Kerry, if I had sat down back home in Nigeria and said, oh, I had these dreams.'cause I have friends who had the same dreams that I had and they were in the same situation as I was, they didn't have the resources for it. And some countries are different. Like in the US you have access to loans, which you still have to pay back with interest. So it's not free, but you have that option. But in some countries you don't even have that option. It's either your parents pay for it.'cause I had classmates who. Their parents were really rich. They didn't have to sell any sibling, but they were able to pay for the, for their tuition. I didn't have that, so, so I had friends also who didn't have that, so they didn't take that step. So what I would tell anyone with regards to great is, or pursuing your dreams is the first step. You, you just need to take that first step. Have an idea of the of the big picture, and then take that first step. The first step for me was to write my GRE. I think it was maybe, I don't think it was up to$250 for that, or a hundred. I can't recall how much it was. It was a while, long time ago, but I knew I could afford that because sometimes when you wanna start a business or you're going into a big venture, you're like, oh, it's gonna cost me$2 million. It might actually cost you$2 million, but the first step is not$2 million. You don't have to spend$2 million the first day. The first day might just be$20. Or it might be a thousand dollars, you know? So sometimes we look at that whole picture and then we get overwhelmed. You're like, you know, I would never achieve this. But when you divide it into, you have the big picture and you say, what can I do today to move the needle forward? Then that keeps you going. And once you do that, the next day you say, what can I do to move forward? And people think to move on in life, they need finance. I don't think so. I think the first thing you need is an idea and then be committed to the goal and say, you know what? I'm not gonna give up. And once people see you pushing, then help you just based on my experience. I would say help comes once you go on that journey. Right? So that's how, that's the first part of my story of how. I got into I, I moved to the US with$250 and then I was like, oh, I need to get a master's. And I did. But I had loans when I was done because I still had to pay my sister for the, the loan I got from her. And then the next thing was I said, okay I. I need because the plan was get a master's, get a PhD, and then the residency part. Because if you, I don't know if you're aware of that, for those US who in school in the US you have still have to take the U-S-M-L-E and it's very different because, medicine is the same everywhere. But the training we had is specific to the tropics, right? The training we had was specific to our community, to the resources that we had. So it's like, so now you have to learn me still you have the foundation, but you have to learn, learn it all over again. So. I was in my master's program, I got into my PhD program. That was a lot easier because I knew the system and all of that. I, but it was not, how do I combine all of this studying that I'm doing for this process and still, and still study for my rest, for my USMA so I can get into residency. And so so what I did was it was still the same principle of, okay, so what can I do today? How can I be more strategic? And so what I did was I decided to take on a lot of all my coursework in my PhD program. So what I would've spread over three years, I did it in a year and a half. I said, so if I do this in a year and a half, then I can give myself a couple of few months to study for my step one and step two. Then I can do my research and then move on to residency. So that's what I did. But at that point in time, my life was a lot easier. I had, learned how to use epic, EHR. So I was traveling to teach, to teach people how to teach physicians how to use Epic. And so I was getting paid, so I was not as broke as I was when I, when I started. So, so, and that's just part of life. Once you start to move, you start to make traction, then you start getting resources. The more, the more traction you make, the more resources you have. And, and people would think that, oh. You would, people would want it to be that it's one you don't have. That's when people would give to you. Unfortunately, just the way life is structured, people give to people who have, I don't, I don't know if it's fair. I don't know if it's right. Let, let me ask you a question. You, tell me what your thought process is. So, the CEO, let's say you work in a, in a hospital system and there's a CEO and you are friendly with the CEO and you know, it's her birthday. So when you wanna give the CEO gift, what would the, what would be your thought process?

Kerry:

Like should I give them a gift?

Gloria:

Yeah. You're like, what would be the thought process?

Kerry:

that's a, I'm not much of a gift giver. I give you a nice card

Gloria:

Right, but you're gonna think through, right? You're gonna say, well, what would be a good gift for this person? Right? And person truly does not need that gift, to be honest'cause they can get this, get themselves everything that they need. But if you walk, if you're driving down the road and you get to a stop sign and there is a beggar. If you take a thousand dollars or$500 and you give to that person, you're gonna be like, I really did a lot for this person today. Or you know, even if you give a hundred dollars, like I just gave him a hundred dollars. Right? However, if you give the CEO who doesn't really need that resource a hundred dollars, you're not gonna feel like, oh, I gave the CEOA hundred dollars. You'll like, you know, so it's that principle in life that I don't know if it's right or if it's wrong, but it's just what it is. And personally, I try to. I try to go with the tide. I don't go against the tide, and if the water is not flowing in the direction of where I'm going, I would get out of that water completely and get in the, in the water where I can get on the tide that will take me towards my destination. So I know that's a principle in life that when you don't have, the more you don't have, the more you won't have, and the more you have, the more you have. And that's just what I saw. The more resources I had, the more resources I continued to have and, and I tried as much as I could not to have that scarcity mindset. It's hard when you don't have, but there's a difference between not having and then having this scarcity mindset. So, so, so my point there is, let me go back and just do like a quick recap so people understand. What I'm saying is, so when I started from, I started with nothing. I had no, had just$250, but I didn't stop. Right? I was still in school. I didn't sit back and say, okay, now that I don't have the resources for it, then I'm gonna act like I don't have the resources for it. And sit back. No, I took steps forward. I, the little resources I had, I put it into what I believed in, and then I moved on. I took, I took that risk of moving to a different country. And, and like what I tell tell most people about myself and people who I coach, I tell myself, what's the worst that could happen? The worst that could happen was I would not get the money for my tuition. I would be kicked out of the country and I would go back, but I would know I tried. There would never be a what if now it would be, I went, but the resources wasn't really there and I had to go back home. But now it's a different story. So it's just not having that scarcity mindset, even when it's scars, and then just to keep going.

Kerry:

Mm-hmm. Would you say, so I like to think of grit or other people might think of grit as like driven or having goals, you know, and things like that. Would you say that that stuff is teachable or learnable, or is that like ingrained in you?

Gloria:

I think, I think grit is different from having goals.'cause you have goals, every people have goals. And, and you could have goals, but if you don't work towards your goals, grit comes in the process where you are working towards your goals. And yes, you can learn, give, it's not a gift. You're not born with grit. It comes with practice, right? So, so, okay, now I live in the UAE. So people ask me, oh Chloe, you are not scared. You just packed your bags and you moved to the UAE. I'm like, I've done it before. Right. So it's not a, it's not a new, new muscle for me. It's a muscle. I've, I've worked over time. So moving from the US where I live for like 15 years, I got used to the whole system that felt like home to me. And then moving to a new country, it just, I was just like, yeah, okay. I wanna move to Dubai. I'm gonna do it'cause I've done it before. So it's something that you can learn and you don't have to start by moving to a new country if you haven't done that before and say, oh, I wanna learn. Great. It just might be, oh, I wanna read one book a month. You read that book a month or you know, and you just keep going. And most people feel like once they. So you have this list of things you wanna do in a day. You have 10 items on that list, and then you only check two, and then you wake up in the morning, you're like, oh, I don't have grits. Right? You're like, oh, I don't have grit. I'm just gonna give up. No, you keep fighting. It's, it's an ongoing battle that you keep fighting. You, you look at a list, oh, I just had. I check two items. You're like, well, I'm good. I still have eight. Then there's tomorrow, right? So when I wake up every morning, I'm like, oh, thank God for today I can accomplish the things I didn't accomplish yesterday. So I can add those to my list. And you keep going. You keep pushing. GR is not perfection. It's just not giving up when it's hard.

Kerry:

Yeah, that's a really good way and I. Like how you define it as a muscle as well. I wanna ask you, have you read, I think the book is called The Power of Grit. Have you read that book?

Gloria:

I think I have, I think read the book.

Kerry:

I, know my husband has read it. I admit I have not, but I, you know, I think it is a, I think it's supposed to be a very good book, so it's definitely something to recommend and read. So you, mentioned grit and you also talk about pursuing your dreams. So many people have dreams, but few take these bold actions. So what do you sep, what do you think separates the dreamers from the doers?

Gloria:

Fear.

Kerry:

Hmm.

Gloria:

Yeah, it's fear, fear of the unknown. And for some people it's a little bit easier. And so I have, I, I do not judge anyone who's afraid.'cause sometimes the fear is legit. So if you have kids, you have, you have a family, you, it's so hard to just pick up your family and say, oh, on the sport of the moment, I wanna move to Dubai. Are you crazy? There's, there's so many moving parts, but at the same time, if you have a family, you have kids. I don't think the thoughts to move to Dubai would have crossed your mind that strongly. It would just be like a brief idea. There are still things you want to do that's still within your within your control at that point where you are. But I think it's fear. I'll give you an example. So many physicians are in jobs, they don't like. And you're scared of leaving I, and that, that's one part that I'm just like, no, you can, you can work towards leaving this job. You're a doctor. You have your license, you, you have options. Right? I remember when I was I was at a job that I didn't like. I had done all I knew to do to make it work. I had tried all the diplomatic skills that I had in the world. I had talked to all people. The last conversation I had, they said, well, why don't we, I said, okay, let's try for three more months. And then I got home. I realized, I said, no, I've been trying this. It's not gonna work out. And I put in my notice. I didn't have another job anywhere. I didn't have anything anywhere. I didn't have like a million dollars saved. That's my backup plan. But my backup plan was,'cause my sisters are now back in the States. I was like, okay. If I can't pay my mortgage anymore, I would just move and go live with my sister. That's, that's the worst thing that could happen, right? So that's it for me. But some people would stay at the job just for the security that it brings. But something has to give, something has to give for the life that you truly want. There, there sacrifices that, that you have to make for it. You may have to, you may have to not have a lot at some point in time. Right now, I, I'm not pursuing clinical medicine full time, so I don't have all the resources I was having before when I was working as an internal medicine doctor. So it's a sacrifice I'm making for now because I'm hoping it would pay off in future. And if it doesn't pay off, I know I tried, you know? But people are not ready to to. It's just that fear of, of the, of just that comfort zone. You have your comfort zone. It's very predictable. You know what's coming in, you know what's going out. You can, you have ev you have your system in place and you're not ready to you're not ready to rock the boat. You just wanna keep going at. At that pace. So for, if so, that, that is just that fear. That's what's holding many people back. And when you start to peel up the layers, you find out that most of the things we, we we're scared of. They, they really do. They're not gonna happen if you just, and you don't have to be the most strategic person. You just do not be reckless, but you don't have to have all the numbers, have everything planned out and say, okay, I, I know how much my grocery will cost me for the next 10 years. I have it all saved because you don't, so many things could happen along the way, but just have like a big picture and, and, and be ready to take that risk and try to find your support system. So for me, I know my support system is my family. It's my sisters. So if we go back to when I. I moved to the US my sister co-signed my loan for me. So that's my support system. And I know now I tell her all the time, if anything happens, I'm moving in. I'm moving in with you. So, so, so find your support system so that when you choose to fly and it doesn't work out, you know, okay, I have something I'm gonna fall back to.

Kerry:

No, I, I like that. I think that's very good advice, having a support system. But also you kind of mentioned maybe someone is, you mentioned contentment basically in, in your,

Gloria:

yes,

Kerry:

things that you teach. So how can you kind of balance this ambition and contentment at the same time?

Gloria:

Yeah, that, that, that's a good question. And it's something that's difficult to balance because there's one part of you who wants the whole world, and there's one part of you that that should be ready to live with nothing. So this is how I see it. Personally, once I have my food, my clothing, my shelter, I'm fine. I can, I can live on, I can live on that. And at the same time, I'm still, I'm still that girl who, when I'm flying, I fly business class. I like, I like the good things in life. Even though I like the good things in life, they don't make me, I can do without them. Those are once so I can, so once I have my basic, the only time I'm not gonna be content in life is when I don't have food. I don't have clothing. I don't have shelter then, then

Kerry:

the support system too.

Gloria:

Oh. Oh, not see, I, I didn't think about that support system because I've never not had sisters. Like I'm the, I'm the, yeah. They've been my, so now that you, you I, I have to go think of that now and then come up with a new theory. But I think support system is important. If you don't have support system, it's hard. And support systems, they don't have to be your family, and it comes in different ways. So I've been in Dubai a few months, but I have support system here. have people who keep me accountable. I have a friend who she, I, I, I haven't done a formal like like a 10 K or five KA marathon. She's. Keeping me accountable for me to run my first 10 K. And this is the one I just met. But she's my support system. So support system comes in different ways. So we all have it. We, even if you don't have it, you can create support system just by being a little bit vulnerable with the right set of people. Right.

Kerry:

I totally agree. I think I like you, like how you said the word vulnerable too. Like you're not gonna, you know, get introduced and feel comfortable with people if you don't, you know, put yourself out there and be vulnerable. Right. But I think, yeah, that's amazing. So I think a support system is definitely added to, you know, the things that you were saying. Yeah, for sure. So, so how, if you're, you're feeling content when you have your food, shelter, clothing, and support system,

Gloria:

yes, I, yes I am, I am content. That way I'm not moved because if I don't have an extra cha pass, so what's, what's gonna happen if I fly business class? So what's gonna happen? If I can, like, as long as, you know, all of those are just extras that are, that we want. And so I have that internal contentment while I'm pursuing a life that's bigger than me, that's just that I'm adding value to the world. Adding value to people who come, who, who, who are I around me, but internally, I have that contentment. I'm good. I don't need, I don't need 10 purses to be happy. I want 10 purses. Of course, I'm not saying I'm not materialistic. I am, but that doesn't define me. But I don't think I will be able to think creatively when I'm hungry. I don't think I will be able to think creatively where when I'm not sure of where, where I'm gonna sleep tonight or I don't have, I have to go somewhere and then I don't have the right clothes to wear. I don't have to, it doesn't have to be the most expensive, but just something decent. So I think food clo, once I have my food, clothing and shelter, every other thing is secondary. So I pursue that secondary thing from a place of contentment and. To be honest with you, when you have contentment, you are not desperate. And when you're not desperate, you tend to make the right choices because you're not, and you are less you are less prone to making unnecessary mistakes because not, you're not desperate. And the difference between two people, two people may have the exact same thing, but contentment will make one person not to make desperate mistakes. Why the other, why the other who's not content would just keep hustling. Mean they don't know they already have what they, what they need. You just want more.

Kerry:

Yeah. I, I like that. So in this whole journey and everything, well, what are you doing now that helps individuals? What, tell us a little bit about that.

Gloria:

So, so you just ask what I'm doing now to help people. So I teach, I teach women how to negotiate, so that's what I do. I speak at events. I'm working on my negotiation course. So I do like everything. Negotiation just makes me, it just, it just brings, it just gives me motivation to keep going. I can never get tired of talking about negotiation, or I wanna talk about negotiation. It's not necessarily the last point where we are negotiating the deal that we want. It's a, it's a whole journey to get to that point. It starts from you. Choosing the right job. It it you showing up at that job with the right mindset. You looking out for people where you work, and then you knowing how to ask you, knowing how to position yourself as a leader and then finally going for, for the kill when you need to ask for something. And so I teach women how to negotiate. I coach, I speak at events. So that's what I'm doing right now.

Kerry:

How does that, like your background, help you in define your, your new role with this?

Gloria:

So talking about background, you know, so many things make up our backgrounds and sometimes we do not realize that some, some things from our backgrounds, we take it for granted. I talk about my sisters a lot, right? So I'm one of the, so I'm from a big family, so we're seven kids. I'm number five. So I'm on the bottom of the food chain. So I was this person who they would send on these errands to my dad and say, go ask daddy for this. And I would go and every time they kept asking me to go, and my dad is not like the, he's not the easiest person to ask, ask for things.'cause he would ask you all these questions. So why do you need that? Why? Okay, but I thought I gave you you guys this the other time, so why don't you use this instant? Like he would have all those things. So before I go, I've already. I've already, I already have the answers. I know that's gonna, that's gonna ask me this question that's gonna ask me that question, and I have the answers. And I just kept getting better and better and better and better, you know? So it was a skill that I developed over time. And then when I was in my PhD program, I took classes on leadership and negotiation, and I kept reading books and then the skill just got, it just kept getting better to the extent that the place where I just left, where I was working. So I was working three days a week. It was full time. I had more than six, seven weeks of vacation time, but it was just three days a week I had, so and, and then even when I was leaving they said, oh, what can we do to keep you? I'm like, what else can you guys do?

Kerry:

Oh my gosh. Yeah,

Gloria:

But I was able

Kerry:

negotiated a nice position there. That's

Gloria:

It was, it was amazing. And even now they're like, okay, you can still come back to the US and work with us anytime that you want. So that was just, yeah, so that's what I like to teach women. I, it's not because there, there's anything special about me. It is just how I was able to position myself. That's why I was able, and it was also the right environment because you could be in places where. You could do everything and it still would not work out. So it's the, when you have the right environment and you show up the right way, then that synergy is just, it's just something else.

Kerry:

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I like that. I like how you started with your dad. I think that's funny. Yeah. Yeah. There's also that book on negotiation. I'm trying to think of the name of

Gloria:

Never split the

Kerry:

Yeah, that of course.

Gloria:

Yeah. Yeah. I, I like, I like that book. I do. But I'm not much of an actor, right? I, I'm not. So, because there's some, and, and how would I describe it? And he's a hostage negotiator, right? I'm not trying to release hostages. That's not, that's not what I'm doing here. I'm just, that's, that's, that's, that's some, that's a different ball game. That's life and death. Right? Because, you know, he goes there, there's so many. Good information he put out there that I, I practice. Then there's some stuff that's in there that I'm just like, you know what? That's not for me. You know? says, you have to use this voice. He has this voice that I don't have it. Right. I'm this girl who is from Nigeria and has lived in the us. My voice can never be like Chris Voice's voice, and he's a guy.

Kerry:

dj, late night DJ voice,

Gloria:

Thank you. I don't have it. Right. This is me, this is, this is it. I can't Thank you. So I don't negotiate as another person, I go as myself and I go based on how, if I'm happy and I like the people, then I'm all like chit chatty and laughing. If it's people I'm not comfortable with, then I'm a little bit more reserved. I am myself. Right? And that's how I teach women. Do not try to take on. Another personality to go negotiate. The only thing you need to do is not the only thing, one of the things you need to do is know what is it? What's, what value do you bring? Know your value. Know what you know. Know the value you bring, and then also know what you are asking for, and then have your non-negotiables. So whether you go laughing, you go quiet, go as yourself. You just need to have very, you just need to be very clear. And then be ready to make some compromise, but know what, know what your non-negotiables are so that when it's time to make compromise, it's not at that point you're deciding, you've already decided or you, you don't have to make that decision in time at that point in time. It's something you can say, let me go back and think and think through this, but yeah, you,

Kerry:

And you know, also I would say like knowing what you want.'cause that could be a little bit different than what you're asking for, right? So like said, the non-negotiables, maybe that would be the same thing.

Gloria:

yes.

Kerry:

Well that's is, this is amazing. Like your story is very powerful, right? Like learning to, you know, use your muscle of grit to keep going in your endeavors, to get all your collection of degrees. It's kind of like say'cause that's what I did, but and, and it just. To continue to work toward your, your goals and your dreams. And it's, it's amazing. So I, I really, you know, thank you for sharing that today. Is there somewhere, well, let me tell you, ask you if there's anything else that you wanted to add, and then I'll ask how people can find you.

Gloria:

So, so I, I have a podcast and when I end my podcast, I tell my, I tell my audience that I truly believe they have the potential to be great. I think everyone has a potential to be great. Greatness for one person is not the same thing as greatness for another person, for one person to be great, it's just to be a really good mother. And then for another person, it's to be a astronaut. So it's a wide range, but I truly believe everyone has that potential to live a great life where they are truly happy and content with what they have. So that's like, that's my last message for your listeners, that I truly believe every single person listening has that potential to be great.

Kerry:

What one other thing I normally ask, and I think you answered it on our form, but you know what is like one health tip for listeners And your in answer was very interesting'cause it tied in what you talked about today. Do you remember what you wrote?

Gloria:

Tell me

Kerry:

It was more about the negotiation that is sometimes needed for getting patients to do their health screening and preventative care. Does that sound Yeah. So it was a very interesting answer. I just wanted you to comment on that if you could.

Gloria:

So so as for, for, for those of us who see patients in the clinic who who need to do all of the screening, we negotiate with them all the time, right? And it's the simple things. Get your colonoscopy. You have to negotiate, and there was a time I had this patient true story. I had this guy who came in, he didn't wanna get it, his colonoscopy and all of that. We had this long conversation. I recall having a long conversation with him and then he came back after, he was like, you know what, Dr. Simi, I'm so glad you made me do the colonoscopy. I said, oh, really? He said, yes. I said, what did I tell you? He said, you called me a chicken.

Kerry:

That's

Gloria:

good. Yeah, he said, he said he, he said, he said, I called him a chicken. So it's all of that back and forth that you go, it's all negotiation. I'm like, okay, what do I tell this person that would make him go get this? I'm like, okay, you scared? Oh, you're just a chicken. And then he was like, no, he's not a chicken. And then he went and got his colonoscopy. So it's all the, it's, it's a back and forth. You find, you, you try one time, it doesn't work out the next time. You keep trying and you keep trying and you keep trying. So I, I strongly every people should get their screening test done. They should. It, it, it saves lives,

Kerry:

I, I agree. And I think, you know, the colonoscopy thing is a great example because if I'm usually finding that a patient won't go do that, you know, we do have alternatives, but it's still not the gold standard, but at least I negotiate to get them something

Gloria:

Cologuard? Yes.

Kerry:

Yeah. And now we have a new shield blood test as well. So mean there were other options even though, you know, I still obviously push for the, the colonoscopy I, you know, I have to say, you're a chicken, you're not gonna go. crazy. Yeah. And obviously there's like a vaccine outcry here, so, you know, getting patients to do that is also

Gloria:

it got It's more di and it's more difficult now with the whole climate of, you know, it's more difficult. There's less trust in vaccines now than for, not like it was great at any point in time, but it's worse now.

Kerry:

the sad thing about that I think is the negotiation would take a very long time. Like it's not always, you know, it depends on the patient, but it's, it's sometimes just you don't have that ability, the time to do to negotiate with that. But these are gr really good life lessons you've got here. So thank you so much. And how can people find you?

Gloria:

I'm on, I'm on Instagram. It's Gloria sme. I am on Facebook. I'm on in Instagram. I'm, I'm everywhere where they can find, I'm all, all on all the social media platforms.

Kerry:

Awesome. Well website. Okay. Yeah, we will as always include all that information in the show notes. And thank you so much for joining us today. And everybody you know, get healthy Tampa Bay and stay tuned for next week.

Gloria:

You for having me.

Kerry:

Yes.

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Dr. Kerry Reller

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