Cybernomics Radio
Welcome to Cybernomics, the podcast where we break down the latest enterprise innovations and challenges shaping the Information Security industry. Whether it’s AI, cloud computing, or digital transformation, we dive deep into the forces driving businesses forward.
Join host Josh Bruyning as he engages with industry experts and technology leaders to explore how businesses are leveraging technology for growth. From cutting-edge advancements to the economic impact of tech decisions, Cybernomics delivers insights that keep you ahead of the curve.
Tune in for expert analysis, compelling discussions, and a front-row seat to the future of Information Security.
Cybernomics Radio
#33 Unlocking ROI Through the Power of Authenticity, Mel Reyes, President and Founder @ISSA SoCal
Authenticity emerges as a vital theme in our latest episode, showcasing how being true to oneself can create more genuine connections in cybersecurity and beyond. Mel "Fireball" Reyes shares his personal journey of embracing authenticity and its significant impact on audience engagement, trust, and organizational culture.
• Discussion on the need for authenticity in a curated digital landscape
• Mel's transformative story of presenting authentically in Chicago
• The audience's powerful response to Mel's authentic expression
• Balancing professional expectations with personal identity
• The real-world ROI of authenticity in business relationships
• The role of humor and personal anecdotes in impactful storytelling
• Encouragement to reflect on one’s authentic self post-COVID
Take a moment to reflect on your own authenticity and how you show up in various parts of your life!
Mel's Work
Welcome to this episode of Cybernomics, and this episode was brought to you by Bruning Media, a New York-based tech firm that helps tech companies achieve thought leadership, one podcast at a time. I'm your host, josh Bruning, and today I am here with the one and only Mel the Fireball Reyes. Mel, thank you, thank you, thank you, brother. This has been a long time in the making. I've been trying to get you on this show forever. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for joining me for this episode of Cybernomics.
Speaker 2:Wow, and I know the intro was going to be like that. I would have been able to clear my schedule. But, just like we talked about before, the universe made it so that we could only speak today and then, moving forward, we'll figure it out. Honored to be here. Thank you for that intro.
Speaker 1:You know what, you know what? Today we're talking about authenticity, and so I could truly say that from the bottom of my heart, from an authentic place, from a real place, I've got a lot of respect for you. I mean, if you've not met Mel, you are missing out. I'm telling you, this is the guy that you want to party with. Am I right or wrong?
Speaker 2:I can neither confirm nor deny that I do like to elevate things there you go. But if you say so, sir, I say so All right.
Speaker 1:Well, in the spirit of authenticity, which is a topic that has been nagging at me for the last few weeks, we are inundated and overloaded with inauthentic material every single day. You open up social media and you look outside, you go to a conference. You've got everything just kind of like curated the way that the audience wants, or at least what people think that the audience wants. And so, mel, after talking to you for a little bit about this, I think we kind of came down to a definition of authenticity, which is not showing up the way that you think the audience wants you to show up, because no matter what you do, that's always going to come off as fake, but you show up the way that you like to show up, and if people don't like it, guess what? They can pound sand.
Speaker 1:We want a world and an environment where content creators, thought leaders, companies, brands are connecting genuinely with their audience. So, with that, you've got a great, incredible story to tell. You know, for all my people from Chicago, this one is for you. So, mel, and also you guys, don't see this, but earlier, when I was talking to Mel, the first thing that popped up when, when he popped on camera was his Puerto Rican flag. Mel is a Puerto Rican to the bone, and talk about authentic, I mean, what more? What more can you ask for? So, mel, can you give us a little bit of that story from Chicago?
Speaker 2:I, you know I thought this was on career development and cybersecurity, but I'm glad we flipped the script. Number one, number two you know, having been raised in Brooklyn, brooklyn is in the house. It's been a journey to get to this. People are not going to like me because of some of the things I'm going to about to say. Some people are going to be drawn in. That is what I have to do, and this is an escalation of every podcast and every interview I've done and how I do what I do. I just have to show up and sometimes I show out right.
Speaker 2:I spent the last few years doing presentations on executive leadership, resiliency and board awareness and cybersecurity, and the thing that resonated for me was building resilient teams. I know what I had to do to survive and I know what I had to do to build those teams and to continue to deliver. But what kept happening was I was expending too much energy trying to fit in right, trying to fit into the language, the tone hey, let's talk about these. You know the roadmap? Hey, let's. And I was successful. But I was exhausted and I kept saying to myself I'm doing all of the right things. Why isn't it working? Why don't I feel like I'm accomplishing anything. So I went through this transformative piece for the last, let's say, eight to 10 years and took action in the last five years and in the last couple of years when I present, I really want to make sure that not only I present through the values of Toastmasters and everything else, but that I present and that I show up and this is going to be show out.
Speaker 2:I was asked at the end of last year, literally around this time, to present in Chicago. I was going to take my standard, you know three-part cybersecurity resiliency, career development piece to present to the Black cybersecurity professionals in Chi-Town. And I said to myself I said I don't feel authentic, I don't feel authentic, I don't have it in my slides. I always speak to it during the presentation, but I don't have something in my slides. So I said, well, you know, I want to create like a pop-up scenario where it says you know, be authentic, be yourself, blah, blah, blah no-transcript, because I couldn't find it again.
Speaker 2:Td Jakes talking about showing up, right, and I'll tell you. I have that on my website. Anybody wants that link? I'll tell you. Right now I listened to that thing to motivate me. There was another link with a gymnast who is performing, but it's the camera's focused on the coach and how he's so ingrained in everything he's doing and that kind of like bond and that support they need. So this is what I'm coming into for this presentation that I'm presenting. So I said so. I said, okay, I'm going to show up and I'm going to be authentic, but I'm not going to speak to it. I'm going to show it. So I come in and I wrote an article it's on LinkedIn this, that and the other. I have the pictures.
Speaker 2:I came in with my suit, we were doing the mingling. I had people fly in from like, drove in who flew in because they knew I was presenting and I was honored, honored that they showed up because to both two people that I know, three people I had not physically met right, and they flew in and drove in to meet me at that at that, that presentation. So I'm about three or four slides in to the presentation where I've covered the, the um, the trust component, so that I can really get everybody involved for the next hour plus. And I started talking about authenticity and I planned this, I planned this. I had my little bag next to me this, that and the other and I started talking about authenticity. I said you know what I don't feel authentic. I'm wearing a suit and a dress shirt and these pants and you know like floor shine type of shoes. Right, I'm like I don't feel authentic.
Speaker 1:Well, what was the audience like up until this point? I mean, like, what is the kind of crowd reaction you're getting? Are people falling asleep? Are they into it? No, no.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because one of the. It was funny because one of the one of the one of the pieces I talk about is building trust, and some folks have experienced this. I won't do this often, but I'll have an Oprah moment, right when I got the secret. You know, and reach underneath here. I literally tell them reach underneath your chair, you know there's an envelope and you know I'll tell you how you advance yourself. You know the 30 years of experience the secret is and then when I'm like no, go ahead and reach. And when people start to reach, I call them like there is no secret. It's all about hard work, it's about massive action, right? So they're like wait, you lied to us.
Speaker 2:You know, how do we build trust, right? So there was a great dialogue going and I'll tell you, everybody showed up. I mean minutes of that presentation. Then I dropped the authenticity piece. So now I've got it and by the way I showed up, I was like I need, I need y'all to get involved, I need you, I need you to call it out Right. So, fully engaged. So, as I'm presenting this white slide with a couple of little, you know, pop up, little graphics, I said I don't feel authentic. I don't feel authentic in how I showed up, how I'm presenting myself. I feel like a penguin in this suit. And then I said I'm taking it off.
Speaker 1:Take it off, take it off, right, I tell you it was, it was, it was a moment.
Speaker 2:It was a moment I start to take off my suit. I started doing my shirt, I undo my belt, my pants. I had somebody get up there like oh, hell, no.
Speaker 1:And I'm like yep.
Speaker 2:No, I'm like calm down, I have. I have clothes underneath and what I did was I took off the shoes, everything else I put on my white sneakers. I had my white linen pants underneath my dress pants.
Speaker 2:I had my white linen underneath my dress shirt, which is underneath my suit, and then I put on my white hoodie and I turned around and I had I had glasses on. I put the glasses on and I said this is how I wanted to show up. And everybody went crazy and I'm like now I feel comfortable, now I feel like I am how I want. This kind of white hood is what.
Speaker 1:I showed up with Right.
Speaker 2:And I have about six different white hoodies that I wear, so the rest of the presentation was just incredible it was nuts. It was nuts, it was a full on like hour, hour and a half. It was engaging. But here's the thing that I tell everybody right, we live in a world where we're given a program and we're given a structure and we're given what we should and shouldn't do, and then we have to mold to that and feel like we need to be able to do right by that.
Speaker 2:No no, no. Every call, every piece, every the reason why I'm comfortable in motivating and getting it, because I'm me, I'm just me, and if you can't appreciate that and that doesn't define you as executive presence or otherwise, that's great, move along, right. Because again, it's not.
Speaker 1:It's not about it's not about showing up in a particular way. If you are the buttoned up suit I go in. Whenever I go into Manhattan, I'm always wearing a suit because from the age of maybe like five or six, I said when I grow up, I want a job where I go to work with a suit every day. That's who I am right. When I'm at home, I've got a cap, got a t-shirt. This is how I am right. So I think that you're putting your finger on the pulse there to say to those people it's not that we're saying that you shouldn't show up in a suit. It's just that show up in a suit if that's who you are, but if you know that that's not who you are, then guess what People are going to see? That they're going to see your inauthenticity. It's going to come out, and what you did, mel, is. I think this is why the crowd goes wild. It's because you are leading and you're giving people permission to be themselves. That's what people are responding to.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to lie. I love my blue custom Paisley interior custom button suit. I will show up in that, but this is how I will be Right. So what I wear does not define me. How I act, what I say and what I do defines me. Preach, right. So I wear the hoodie because I'm comfortable and I want to make you comfortable. Yeah Right, I could have sat in here in a suit. I didn't even iron this shirt today, can you tell?
Speaker 1:Nope, because I got my hoodie on the most important thing is for you to be comfortable. Yes, yes, that reminds me of a cosmetics commercial. Is it, uh, was it maybelline? They go. If you can't tell, why should we exactly? Maybe that was the beginning of that. It was people being, at least companies, were starting to flirt with authenticity back in the 90s. I don't think it fully materialized, but people in the you know, oddly enough, in the cosmetics industry kind of understand this, because you're putting on makeup which is inauthentic but you want to make it look like you're not wearing makeup because you want to be authentic. So how do we strike that balance, especially in something like cybersecurity that is so corporate, so military, so buttoned up, right? How do people strike that balance between you know, we know that you want to look this way and looking this way is good, but also we want to be authentic. Like, how do you strike that balance?
Speaker 2:I love this, especially because of the different communities that I go to and that I'm a part of and that I help and support. Right Back in the day, I have French collar cuff shirts because I thought that's what I needed. 10 years ago I had custom shirts made that way. I had custom, you know, because I was a little bit bigger and clothes didn't fit me right, so I had to make the investment right. I didn't have the money, but I had to make the investment right. But here's the thing At that time I felt comfortable in that, I felt regal, I felt royal, but I still wasn't showing up as me.
Speaker 2:You didn't feel comfortable. I didn't feel comfortable. I felt comfortable physically with what I was wearing, because now I had suits that fit me the right way and weren't sagging the wrong way, and but I wasn't me. So what I tell you is and I've it's literally scattered throughout the whole damn internet I was born in Puerto Rico, raised in New York, bronx, brooklyn and otherwise. That's ingrained in me. All of the experiences are ingrained in me. Why do I have to abandon that when I come into a meeting and say, well, yes, you know, what we really need to do is no, I'm a highly caffeinated person who's Puerto Rican, who's lived in the city, who's done shit Like why can't I have that kind of energy, right, right. So I bring that respectfully to the right scenarios and the right Right. I'm not screaming at every meeting and I'm not, you know, lambasting or cursing.
Speaker 1:And you're not stripping in the in the boardroom.
Speaker 2:I'm not stripping in the boardroom, but I can be hired if that's something that anybody's interested in. I think those days are way gone, but we'll talk about that one later. Oh, that's hilarious.
Speaker 1:You can put that on the list of things that are way gone that you still have to tell me.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, you know, I dreamed a dream that once gone by. But now when I show up, everybody should hopefully see that I have their best interest in mind, that I have the company's best interest, the vision, whatever the topic is, best interest in mind. That I have the company's best interest, the vision, whatever the topic is, because you're going to get exactly what I can give you very cleanly. Yes, well, I try to match language and tone and you know, you know the atmosphere, sure, but if I see something like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no no no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like whoa, no, no, I got to call it out, I got to do something about it.
Speaker 2:So what I what I challenged myself with in the last couple of years is the last two to maybe three years is who is out there that I admire? People pulled everything and I said how do I showcase to people that it's okay to show up differently? So, having been to uh, rsa, uh, um, black hat, defcon, b-sides I'm like defcon and b-sides are my people like, just show up the way you want, right, you want to show up in anime and to a cyber security conference, let's go right. Purple hair, pink hair let's go. Pink hair, don't care, thank you, thank you, right, and but I also, like I showed, I showed up in like knickers and a backpack to b-side, right, I'm like I'm not showing up with pants and in my linens. I'm like I want to show up, uh, like acdc and you know so.
Speaker 2:But the most, the most important thing, is to show up right, to be there and but also be respectful, right, I'm not going to wear anything that's too crazy, but some people think I wear crazy things, but I don't know why I do the floral suits and the pink suits. In it, I'm like because I want to show you that it's okay to be able to do that. So if you only did five, ten, ten, twenty percent of that for yourself and how you feel comfortable, you do you boo Right. But don't be afraid to show up and show out the way you want to, because you want to conform.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I do not want to conform. Yes, it is, it's here and people want they don't want to stand out, but one thing that anybody who's met you, mel, can say you are unforgettable. You are. If you've met Mel once, you're never going to forget him. And I think that your authenticity is a part of that, because when I first met you, you're different from all the other speakers. I mean, yes, you're delivering very sound, reasonable, high value content, and what you're talking about, I mean you can take that from the boardroom down to the kitchen, right. I mean, it's just stuff that makes sense. It's good business, good business philosophy, sound cybersecurity practice, but you're bringing some flavor to it. I don't know if that's because you're Puerto Rican, but you know what I'm saying. If you got it, flaunt it, and you flaunt it and you bring it, and so I feel like that's what's important here.
Speaker 1:If you're asking yourself, like, what is the value of authenticity? Right, is this another buzzword like zero trust? Is it another buzzword? Like you know, in cybersecurity we hear all of the buzzwords. Authenticity is one of those buzzwords that you can't bullshit. It's built into the name. You can't bullshit authenticity. People will see through it and those people who have not been authentic and they cannot be authentic. They're starting to.
Speaker 1:I feel like I would love a world where those people are afraid to not be themselves instead of being afraid to be yourself. So the value of authenticity, the way I see it is, everything is about ROI and the value there is that you connect with an audience that is going to be there with you forever, once you establish that trust between two parties. I don't think that that's something that you can easily take away and then, once you have that, you know, then you deliver a valuable product or service that people truly want and that makes it impact on an impact on their life, because with authenticity comes you know this other word that keeps me up at night it's value, right? So people in this world where there's a lot of lies, where you know there are thousand plus vendors telling you anything just to make a sale, and there are tons of speakers who feed you know I don't want to use this analogy because I'm from Guyana, where Jim Jones is from, but you know what they're depending on you to drink the Kool-Aid.
Speaker 1:People are done drinking the Kool-Aid what they want is to buy a product or to use a service from someone they trust, and so that's the value there. If you want an ROI on it. We're just not talking about authenticity as another buzzword. This is something that can make you money. Do you want me to say that? Sure, yes, it can make you money, but you have to do it in the way that's um, that's real, and you know so that, and I and that I got.
Speaker 2:No, I gotta, I gotta jump in on this. You just, you just threw me a buffet. You just threw me a, Literally. I was on a call three hours ago. You know what the end of that call was? As I was recapping with two of the senior leaders I was talking about a specific group where the leadership had drank the Kool-Aid. So I'm there with you, right? So that's why I know today had to be the day that we met. This is literally three hours ago.
Speaker 2:Number one. Number two you talk about authenticity. Is it another buzzword? No, there is ROI around this, right. You talk about branding. You talk about hey, why do we want Cristiano Ronaldo to represent so-and-so product? Because he's authentic, he's a game player, he's this, he's that. He shows up, right. He shows up for his presence, right? I don't need to be an authority in anything, I just need to be me. If that makes me that sure, that's cute. Number three what I will tell you right now is everything I do and I narrowed it down to three things of what I with the impact that I hope to have on somebody. I'm either going to inspire you, humor you or scar you, but I hope you don't forget the impact that I had on you.
Speaker 2:I think, when you If I scar you, then that means you were not ready. You cannot receive. There's nothing that I can give you. You do not like it. It's not in your realm. Thank you, move along. If I humor you, I hope your stomach hurts until the end of dawn. You still might not receive me, accept me or otherwise, or you might, but I had an impact on your life and if I inspire you, come with me, let's go.
Speaker 1:I think you've done all three to me. You inspire me, you make me laugh, and now that you've told me that you stripped on stage in Chicago you've scarred me, so you know. So we, chicago you've scarred me, so you know. So we've covered all three of the bases and I think that there you go.
Speaker 1:I'm a giver like that, josh, yes, yes, yes, I can call you authentic and one of the most authentic people on the planet, and I appreciate this because in cybersecurity and business, we don't see it anymore and authenticity is going to be a game changer. And if people can't play ball, guess what? You're going to lose your audience. You're going to lose your customers, your partners.
Speaker 2:I will also add the fourth element to this piece. You talked about ROI, you talked about KP. You know the, the right you had, um, you had DE&I, which is now workforce development. Right, it, it was a thing, but it's no longer a thing. Right, you had empathy which blows my mind the last five to 10 years of why people actually have to be taught to care right and that's great and people do need that level of training. I just thought it was crazy because I thought that's what everybody else did, because I cared for my teams and their development and people and everything else.
Speaker 2:And now we're at a point now where everything is coming to a head again. Right, the economy, everything else is coming to a head. And if you don't feel that COVID gave you the opportunity to show up and unshackle yourselves from the desk job or the this thing or this dependency, now is another time for you to think to yourself am I being honest to myself about what I want? The chapter that I just wrote in the book on purpose and mindset, my chapter that I submitted, was moving from selfless to selfish. Now, some people don't like the word selfish. Fine, change it to self-care.
Speaker 1:Well, in economics we like to say self-interested.
Speaker 2:All of this is about you, who. You are trying to do that introspective work and then putting that out there in any way you can, safely, so you can build up the tolerance and the muscle and the power to be you. I was not like this all the time, but now I am and I am having so much fun with it. I love this. This conversation is incredible.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, you know we might start doing the long form thing We've been putting out, you know, 30 minute to one hour conversations. I think that this is the way the future is going. I mean, I want to see a world where people are more authentic and COVID, like you said, was sort of the beginning of that. And I can't believe I'm still hearing people go, you know what, wear a hoodie, Because the hoodie is what everybody's doing and that's the new way to be authentic. So everybody now, you know, just fall in line and wear your hoodies. It's like, ah, you guys missed the point again. I mean, look at Zuckerberg. Zuckerberg looks like a fuckboy. How did that happen? I don't know, but I can tell you that's not who he is. I'm not coming at him, but at the same time, look man, people can tell that's not who you are.
Speaker 1:I wish we had more time. I really do wish we had more time. Mel, I know you got to run. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Cybernomics. You can find out more about Bruning Media at bruningcom B-R-U-Y-N-I-N-Gcom. Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Cybernomics. Thanks everybody. All right, Mal, I know you got to jump, but let us.