Nobody Trusts a W**ker: Cut the Jargon | 95

Weasel words kill trust and loose jobs.

In this episode, I call out the corporate jargon and clichés that make electricians sound like wankers instead of humans. Cut the fluff, talk normal, and you’ll win more work — simple as that.

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Transcript

Knipex pliers are very in vogue. I do find Nescafé to be a very ubiquitous brand. Welcome to Simplified Sparky Marketing.

“In vogue” means popular. “Ubiquitous” means it’s everywhere, always around.

And this is exactly what I want to speak about today: corporate wanker talk and weasel words. They sneak into tradies’ marketing, especially sparkies, and they need to be eradicated.

Because the more human your marketing is, the more you speak directly to your client at their level, the more trust you build.

Something I told my members last night on the live call: lower yourself to their level. For some reason, when we start marketing our businesses, we think we have to come across like a big authority — stand over people and rattle off jargon to confuse them, so they buy our services.

But it’s the complete opposite. The goal is to nail your ideal client, nail your messaging, and strip out all the weasel words from your website and marketing.

I’ll give you an example. When I first built one of my early websites, I wrote a page about testing. And on that page, I remember writing: “We use state-of-the-art Fluke 1662 multimeters.” I went on about what it could do, what features it had… blah blah blah.

What I should have written was: “We’ve got the gear to find your fault fast, so your problem gets solved quickly.”

That’s it. Clear. That’s what the client cares about. They don’t give a shit what a Fluke 1662 is or what that yellow box does. They just want their problem fixed.

Think of it like talking to a bad accountant. Ever had one rattle off about franking credits, dividends, all that jargon? You’re sitting there nodding, but none of it makes sense. You’d prefer if they just explained it in plain English.

Same with lawyers. Google a law firm in Sydney and check out their websites. You’ll find 14 paragraphs of intimidating words, all designed to make them look important. And you leave thinking: “I don’t have a clue what this means, but I better hire them.” Then you sit in their office and still don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.

Electricians do the same thing. We copy that corporate shit into our websites. Things like:

• “Cutting-edge technology”
• “Future-proof installations”
• “No job too big or small”
• “For all your electrical needs”
• “We pride ourselves on…”
• “Proudly family-owned and operated”

Now, two of my personal pet hates: family-owned and operated and we pride ourselves on.

If you tell me your great-grandfather is up in my roof pulling cables, I’m ringing someone else. Being family-owned doesn’t fix my problem. Clients don’t care about Grandpa Jones — they care about getting power back on, or their lights working.

Your website should show authority, sure. But that can be as simple as a client review, or a case study. The bulk of it has to speak to your client’s problem, not about you.

Because when you load it up with clichés, it comes across condescending, sleazy, and “I’m better than you” vibes. Nobody hires that guy.

If you strip it down, talk like a normal person, your lead conversion will go up. I guarantee it.

Here’s the test: would you say it at the pub?

Imagine you tell your mate: “We offer holistic, bespoke solutions for all your lighting requirements.”

He’d laugh at you. What you’d actually say is: “We’ll sort your lights out. I can whack in six LEDs next week, no drama.”

That’s the voice your website should use.

The takeaway? Cut the weasel words. Talk normal. People hire people they trust — and nobody trusts a wanker.

So, whack the weasel, and I’ll catch you next week. All the links are in the description if you want more from me.