# 168 - Everything Happening All at Once: The Psychology of Feeling Overwhelmed

Have you ever had one of those weeks where every area of life seems to demand your attention at the same time? A work issue, a family issue, a health concern, financial stress, relationship challenges - and somehow they all arrive together.

In this episode of The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores the psychology of overwhelm, why the brain struggles when multiple stressors collide, and how chronic stress can push us into survival mode. You'll learn why overwhelm is not a sign of weakness, how stress cascades through different areas of life, and practical strategies for regaining clarity when everything feels like too much.

If life feels bigger than your current capacity right now, this episode offers a compassionate reminder: you do not have to solve your entire life today.

As always, be gentle with yourself, trust the process, and keep following the road inward.

Disclaimer: The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing emotional distress, call or text 988 in the United States for free, confidential support 24/7.

🍋 Follow The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast on Instagram: @thelemontreecoaching

Transcript

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Welcome back to the Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Allison Sukamelli, and today I want to talk about something many of us experience at different points in our lives. The feeling that everything is happening all at once. One problem by itself is usually manageable. Two problems, challenging but still manageable. But sometimes life seems to gather every unresolved issue, every responsibility, every disappointment, every unexpected change, and deliver them all to your doorstep at the exact same moment. A work issue, a family issue, a health issue, a financial issue, a relationship issue. And somehow they all seem to arrive during the same week. When that happens, many people begin asking themselves, why can't I handle this? But perhaps the better question is, why am I expecting myself to handle five crises with the same ease I handle one? So today let's explore the psychology of feeling like everything is happening all at once and what we can do when life feels bigger than our current capacity. But first, a quick shout out to the class of 2026 who are graduating this week. Congrats, you guys made it. Period four and five, you know who you are, sending you nothing but the warmest wishes for the future. And just a quick and kind reminder: the Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing emotional distress, call or text 988 in the United States for free confidential support 24-7. Okay, let's get into this week's episode. So one of the biggest misconceptions about stress is that our brains evaluate challenges individually. They don't. Your nervous system doesn't create separate folders labeled work stress, health stress, family stress, financial stress, and so on. Instead, your brain often combines them into one giant message: threat level increasing. And psychologist Richard Lazarus, who studied stress extensively, found that stress isn't determined solely by what happens to us. It's determined by how many demands we believe we have compared to the resources we believe we possess. In other words, overwhelm occurs when life starts asking more of us than we feel capable of giving. And this doesn't mean you're weak. It means your system is attempting to manage an unusually high cognitive and emotional load. Let's talk about the snowball effect. What makes everything at once situations so difficult is that challenges rarely stay in their own lanes. One stressor often creates another. You lose sleep worrying about a problem. Lack of sleep makes you emotionally reactive. Emotional reactivity creates conflict. Conflict increases anxiety. Anxiety affects concentration. Poor concentration creates mistakes. Mistakes create more stress. And suddenly one issue has multiplied into six. And psychologists sometimes call this a stress cascade. The original problem may still exist, but now it's dragging several secondary problems behind it. This is often why people feel as though their lives are falling apart. Many times life isn't actually falling apart. It's a series of interconnected stress responses feeding each other. And when overwhelm becomes chronic, the brain shifts priorities. The prefrontal cortex, the part responsible for planning, reasoning, perspective, and decision making, becomes less effective. Meanwhile, the amygdala, which detects threats, becomes more active. And this is why during stressful periods, people often experience brain fog, forgetfulness, difficulty making decisions, increased irritability, emotional exhaustion, and catastrophic thinking. You may notice yourself thinking, this will never get better. I can't do this anymore. Everything is ruined. These thoughts often feel true because your brain is operating from a survival perspective rather than a reflective one. And the goal of survival mode is not accuracy, the goal is protection. So when enough stress accumulates, the brain loses its ability to distinguish between priorities. Everything starts feeling urgent. The email feels urgent. The text feels urgent. The deadline feels urgent. The decision feels urgent. The unanswered question feels urgent. And when this happens, many people begin running in circles trying to solve everything simultaneously. Unfortunately, attempting to solve 10 problems at once usually leaves us feeling less effective, not more. And psychologist Barry Swartz's research on decision fatigue reminds us that the more decisions we try to make, the poorer our decisions often become. Sometimes the most productive thing we can do is identify what actually needs attention today, and equally important, what can weight. And many of us secretly believe that being strong means carrying everything without struggle. But that's not strength, that's often self-abandonment. Strength is not pretending the load isn't heavy. Strength is accurately acknowledging the weight. Think about physical fitness. No one would expect themselves to list 10 times their normal capacity and feel embarrassed about struggling. Yet emotionally, we often expect exactly that. And when life delivers 10 times the normal stress, we criticize ourselves for not functioning normally. The expectation itself becomes another burden. So how do we cope when life feels overwhelming? Let's talk about a few practical approaches. First, shrink the time horizon. Overwhelm often lives in the future. We begin mentally carrying next week, next month, and next year all at once. Instead, ask yourself, what actually needs to happen in the next hour? Not the next month, not the next week, the next hour. Reducing the time horizon helps calm the nervous system and restore a sense of agency. Number two, separate the problems. When everything feels overwhelming, write down every stressor, every single one, then separate them. You may discover what felt like one giant disaster is actually six unrelated challenges. The brain tends to lump everything together. Writing things down helps restore clarity. Third, focus on capacity before solutions. Many people immediately jump into problem solving, but sometimes the first step isn't solving the problem. It's increasing your capacity to handle the problem. Sleep, water, nutrition, movement, quiet, connection, rest, these may seem unrelated, but they strengthen the nervous system's ability to process stress. A depleted brain struggles to solve even simple problems. A regulated brain can often solve difficult ones. And fourth, stop borrowing future pain. One of the most exhausting habits is repeatedly imagining worst-case scenarios. Many of us suffer from events that haven't happened and may never happen. Ask yourself, is this happening right now or am I imagining it? That question alone can interrupt a tremendous amount of unnecessary suffering. And number five, let someone help. One of the great myths of adulthood is that we should be able to handle everything ourselves. Human beings were never designed to function in isolation. Talk to someone, a friend, a therapist, a family member, a support group, a trusted mentor. Sometimes relief doesn't come from solving the problem. Sometimes relief comes from no longer carrying it alone. And perhaps overwhelm isn't always evidence that you're failing. Perhaps sometimes overwhelm is simply evidence that your current circumstances exceed what any reasonable person would be expected to carry comfortably. That distinction matters because one interpretation creates shame, the other creates compassion. And compassion tends to produce better outcomes than shame ever does. So if it feels like everything is happening all at once right now, I want you to remember something. You do not have to solve your entire life today. You do not have to untangle every problem before sunset. You do not have to carry next month's worries while handling today's responsibilities. Sometimes the next step is enough. Sometimes one phone call is enough. Sometimes one conversation, one decision, one deep breath, one hour at a time is enough. And life may feel overwhelming in this moment, but moments pass. Storms move, situations change, and often when we stop trying to carry everything simultaneously, we discover that we are far more capable than we thought. Okay, so there you have it. Thank you for spending this time with me today. Until next time, be gentle with yourself, trust the process, and keep following the road inward. This is Dr. Allison Sukamelli, and you've been listening to the Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast. And please note this podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. Call or text 988 if you are experiencing emotional distress or a mental health crisis. And you can follow the Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast on Instagram at the Lemon Tree Coaching for more reflections on psychology, personal growth, relationships, and the journey inward. There's a link in the episode description. And with over 150 episodes of the Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast available, you may also want to check out prior episodes, like episode number 141, Discovering Your Voice: A Journey Back to Reclaiming Your True Self, Episode Number 144, The Library of You Integrating Every Chapter, or Episode Number 146, The Important of Processing Your Emotions, Not Managing Them Away. And whether you're navigating change, seeking deeper self understanding, or simply looking for a little encouragement along the way, there's a conversation waiting for you. So check out some of the prior episodes until we meet again next week. Take care, and I'll see you then.