Bonus Episode - Why We Buy Things We Don't Need

Why do we leave the store with far more than we intended, or click "Buy Now" even when we know we don't really need another package arriving at the door? In this bonus episode of The Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast, Dr. Allison Sucamele explores the fascinating psychology behind our purchasing decisions. Discover why we're often buying emotions rather than objects, how dopamine, stress, advertising, and the "ideal self" shape our spending habits, and why the excitement of a new purchase fades so quickly. This conversation isn't about guilt or deprivation, it's about becoming more aware of what we're truly hoping to find every time we reach for our wallets.

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy, psychological treatment, or medical advice. If you're struggling with compulsive shopping, financial distress, or emotional well-being, consider reaching out to a licensed mental health professional.

If you are in the United States or Canada and are experiencing a mental health crisis, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you are elsewhere, contact your local emergency services or crisis resources.

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Transcript

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Welcome back to the Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast, where inner work meets everyday life. I'm your host, Dr. Allison Sukamelli. Have you ever walked into the store for toothpaste and left with candles, throw pillows, a journal, two plants, and a snack you didn't even know existed five minutes earlier? Or maybe you've clicked add to cart after a stressful day, only to wonder when the package arrived, why did I buy this? Today let's explore the psychology behind why we buy things we don't actually need. The answer usually isn't about the object, it's about the emotion. And human beings rarely purchase only products. We purchase possibilities. A new planner feels like becoming more organized. Running shoes feel like becoming healthier. Books represent becoming wiser. Kitchen gadgets promise the version of ourselves who finely cooks every night. And psychologists sometimes refer to this as the ideal self or the person we're hoping to become. And sometimes we're buying an identity more than an object. Shopping also gives our brains a small burst of dopamine. And dopamine isn't the chemical of happiness, it's the chemical of anticipation. The excitement often happens before the purchase, not after it. And that's why scrolling online stores can feel strangely satisfying even when we never buy anything. Our brains enjoy imagining what could be. Stress also plays a role. And when life feels uncertain, buying something creates the illusion of control. We can't always control relationships, work, or the future, but we can buy a cheeky new coffee mug to get a chuckle. And that small decision briefly restores a sense of agency. Advertising understands the psychology extremely well. Notice that commercials rarely focus only on the product. They sell belonging, freedom, confidence, adventure, love, status, peace, you name it. The message is subtle. If you own this, you'll feel this. And sometimes we do. Usually only for a little while until the novelty wears off. And there's another interesting psychological concept called hedonic adaptation. Humans adapt surprisingly quickly to new possessions. That excitement fades, the new phone becomes just a phone, the new car becomes transportation, the new shirt merely becomes part of the closet. Then our minds begin looking for the next thing that promises another emotional boost. All these little hits of happiness with an all too soon expiration date. And it's not because we're greedy, it's because our brains are wired to adapt. And that doesn't mean buying things is wrong. Beautiful spaces can bring calm, comfort, and serenity. And books can change our lives in many ways and can contribute to a beautifully curated space, a sanctuary, really. And art can inspire us to be makers, to be creators, to be anything we want to be. Travel creates memories or perhaps a shift in perspective or fills us with gratitude in some cases. And the question isn't whether we should buy things, the question is what am I hoping this purchase will give me? Sometimes the answer is practical, sometimes it's emotional. And if you're buying because you're bored, lonely, anxious, overwhelmed, or trying to fill an emotional gap, that awareness alone can be powerful. Instead of asking, can I afford this? even though that's an important question as well, try asking, what feeling am I hoping to buy? Sometimes the answer is peace. Sometimes it's confidence. Sometimes it's rest. Sometimes it's hope. And interestingly, many of those things cannot be purchased. They have to be practiced. So the next time you're about to click buy now, pause for just a moment. Not to judge yourself, but to simply become curious. Because awareness changes behavior far more effectively than guilt ever will. Okay, so there you have it. Thank you for spending these few minutes with me today. And until next time, this is Dr. Allison Sukamelli. Remember, the richest life isn't necessarily the one with the most possessions, it's the one where your purchases reflect your values rather than your unmet needs. Take care, and I'll see you next week on the Lemon Tree Coaching Podcast.