What It Truly Means to Heal as a Man: Sacrifice, Perspective, and New Love Skills

 In this opening episode, host Lirec Williams shares raw personal insights on what true healing requires from men and fathers. Learn why sacrifices often impact those you love, why “what once served you may no longer align,” and how to evaluate your life with a three-story-above perspective. With a focus on attachment theory, Lirec explains the cycles of anxious-avoidant and dismissive-avoidant clashes, and how building new love skills can change everything for your children, your relationships, and yourself. 

Chapters

• 1:44 Welcome to Healing Series
• 2:28 The Weight of Sacrifice
• 4:31 Attachment Styles and Relationship Cycles
• 6:35 Learning New Ways to Love
• 8:30 Challenge and Next Episode Preview

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:53

Welcome to a very special series of 15 minutes with dad. I'm your host, lyric Williams, a father, artist, professional and man walking through my own journey of healing, growth and transformation. This series is going to be a bit different. It's going to be raw. It's more vulnerable. It's going to be me inviting you to walk with me as I ask the question what does it truly mean to heal? As a man? Because healing is not about pretending we're fine or ignoring the wounds. It's about facing the hard truths about ourselves, about the people we love and about the choices we've made. Let's get into it.

Speaker 1: 1:37

In this first part, I want to talk about the weight of sacrifice. When you're a father, healing is never just about you. Every decision we make ripples out to our children, our partners and our family. Sometimes the thing that once felt normal, safe or even necessary no longer aligns with who you're becoming. And that's where the pain lies, because to heal, you may have to let go of people, places or patterns that once served you, and when kids are involved, those choices feel unbearable. It makes you ask yourself things like am I being selfish? Am I breaking something they need, or am I showing them what real courage looks like? Healing often looks like sacrifice, not because you want to hurt those you love, but because you're finally choosing alignment over appearances. When we're inside the chaos, it's hard to know if things are really good, really bad or just familiar, and that's why I talk about taking a three-story above view of your life, like imagine yourself stepping outside of yourself and looking down from above at your situation as if you were an observer and not the one trapped inside it, and from that view, you will most likely see the truth more clearly. You'll see things like the cycles you're most likely see the truth more clearly. You'll see things like the cycles you're stuck in, the good that you've been overlooking or the pain that you've normalized and the patterns you've passed down without even realizing it. That higher view helps you answer the question am I surviving or am I truly living? And, as a man, as a father, that perspective could be the start of your transformation.

Speaker 1: 3:52

Now, as we go in through this series, we're going to talk about things such as attachment styles and things like the cycles that we repeat attachment styles and things like the cycles that we repeat. So, if we're getting real about our relationships, a lot of us are carrying attachment wounds from childhood, wounds that shape how we connect love and even argue. And here's the clash. I've seen and I've lived. An anxious, avoidant attachment style craves closeness but fears rejection. A dismissive avoidance style craves independence but fears vulnerability. An unstructured attachment style is all of that. And when you put them together and you get a cycle, one chases closeness, the other pulls away. The more one pulls, the more the other chases. Both end up feeling misunderstood, unloved and unsafe. And this cycle shows up in marriages and co-parenting, even friendships, and if we as men don't recognize it at all, we pass it to our kids, teaching them love means instability instead of safety.

Speaker 1: 5:09

So through this series, we're going to work on learning to love differently, to heal. We have to ask what are my loving skills? Do I know how to listen without fixing? Do I know how to comfort without controlling? Do I know how to set boundaries without shutting down? And, just as important, what are the loving skills of the people around me? Because not everyone can meet us where we are. Some people can only love from their wounds.

Speaker 1: 5:44

Navigating change means being honest about the love you need, the love you give and the love that's missing. It means building new skills and teaching them to your children so they don't inherit the same broken patterns. Now I won't pretend that I have it all figured out. I'm living it right now in real time. I've had to face choices I've never wanted to make. I've had to look at the sacrifices of people I love and ask myself am I honoring them by staying the same or by changing? There are nights I question everything. Days I feel weight of fatherhood in ways that nearly break me, but I've only seen glimpses of what healing looks like. I know that I can be calmer, be braver and be gentler with myself, and being brave in my truth.

Speaker 1: 6:51

This series is me inviting you into that space, not as a man who has it all together, but as one who's willing to do the work, to ask the hard questions, to step three stories above my own life and finally see clearly. Healing as a man is not a one-time event. It's a process. It's facing the cycles, naming the wounds and learning new ways to love. And in this first episode we started with the big picture. We started with understanding the sacrifice that healing asks of us, the power of stepping three stories above your life, the reality of attachment styles clashing in cycles and the importance of learning and teaching new loving skills.

Speaker 1: 7:39

Today I have a challenge for you this week. Take a three story above view of your life. Write down what you see the good, the bad, the familiar and ask yourself what needs to change for me to truly heal. Next week we'll go into attachment and how your childhood shapes your fatherhood and your being a partner and being a man, and what it takes to rewrite the story for yourself and for your kids. Make sure you follow us on social media. Follow us at 15 minutes with dad on all social media platforms and let's walk this journey together, because healing is not just for us. It's for our children, our families and the legacy we leave behind.