Regulate & Rewire: An Anxiety & Depression Podcast

The Good Enough Episode

July 18, 2023 Amanda Armstrong Episode 22
Regulate & Rewire: An Anxiety & Depression Podcast
The Good Enough Episode
Show Notes Transcript

Episode 22

Join me for a less polished episode where I pull back the curtain a bit on this whole podcast thing and give you a peak into the juggling act that is my life as a business owner, mom, and podcast host. I also share my desire for you to play an active role in this podcast, here's the two links I mention:

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CLICK HERE for the full show notes, resources, and 3 tangible takeaways!

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Welcome to regulate, and rewire and anxiety and depression podcast where we discuss the things I wish someone would have taught me earlier in my healing journey. I'm your host, Amanda Armstrong. And I'll be sharing my steps, my missteps, client experiences and tangible research based tools to help you regulate your nervous system, rewire your mind and reclaim your life. Thanks for being here. Now let's dive in. 

Hey, everyone, welcome back. So I am going to preface with today's episode is definitely less polished and a little bit more kind of hodgepodge together than normal. But I promise, I still have some really helpful things to offer you. And as usual, we will end with our three tangible takeaways, including things you can start doing today in your healing journey. But what you're gonna get today is just a little bit more of a candid, honest, pull the curtain back on this whole podcast thing, and a little peek at the behind the scenes of my life a little bit right now. 

So if you are somebody who is tuning in as a regular, then you likely already know I have two tiny humans. I have two sons, a three year old and a two month old. And I did an awesome job of pre recording and batching a bunch of podcast episodes before my newest son was born. That way I could, you know, just have episodes still coming out on Tuesdays like normal while I was in those, you know, early weeks of newborn, I would say bliss but it's hard. Those first few weeks of, of newborn life are hard. They're sleepless, and they're also amazing and wonderful. But I had the best of intentions. During the weeks that I had batch, I think I had almost a month and a half, maybe batched. 

Then getting ahead of time and batching more episodes, but then summer hit my three year olds out of school, I'm breastfeeding what feels like 47,000 times a day. We are in California visiting family and the best of intentions. I mean, we all know that those weeks flew by. And the hours of each of my day seemed to disappear before I knew it. So what you've actually gotten the last, maybe three, four or five episodes have been podcasts that were recorded in the quiet hours of the night after bedtime, on a Monday night before I released them out to you on Tuesday. So in between all of the different things throughout the week, I would outline the podcast, but I just never seemed to make my way to the microphone until you know, the heat's on. People are expecting something to drop tomorrow till Monday night. 

And what's actually been surprising for me is that I haven't felt all that stressed about it. Now, this is surprising, because I have a history of being a deep, deep, deep perfectionist and people pleaser. I have absolutely unrealistic expectations of myself all the time, especially in things that I put out into the world that are forward facing, there's always been, you know, kind of this fear of judgment, etc. And one of I think the most beautiful things for me that has come out of motherhood lately is that? Well, I say this did not just come about organically through motherhood, this has also come about through a lot of deep healing work that I've done with my own coach is that good enough sometimes just has to be good enough. Sometimes I'm just going to be a good enough mom. And that's good enough, I'm going to be just a good enough podcast host. And that's good enough in order for this podcast to be sustainable for me. I really have had to adopt that attitude. 

And what's been beautiful is that even when I felt like I didn't see things exactly the way that I wanted to I didn't cover a topic from all of the bases that I wanted to or there was a toddler yell or a dog barking in the background, or oh my gosh, heaven forbid, friends, friends, friends. Some of you and probably are giggling because you know what I'm going to be referring to but a few weeks ago, I think it was the survival mode episode. I published the completely unedited version of this podcast. And what I mean by that is that when you hit play, and you got a few minutes into this podcast, all of a sudden you heard an awkward pause. And then something that sounded like this. And then another awkward pause and then you just hear me keep talking as if nothing happened. And then about a minute into the podcast. You heard it again and again like 11 times. 

So for those of you who do not follow me on Instagram and didn't hear my stories the next day where I was just like so embarrassed because like 200 of you listened to this unedited episode. That's what I do when I'm recording podcast episodes. And I make a mistake, so that when we're looking at the audio line to edit it, it's really easy just to figure out where we need to like cut, clip and edit is I'll pause, I'll do three snaps into the microphone, and then I'll pause. So even though I had the perfectly edited version to publish, because I'm just juggling a lot of hats, and I am as painfully human as the rest of you, I uploaded the unedited version to my international podcast that gets 1000s and 1000s of downloads each week. So that really that that one stung a little, that old perfectionistic pattern that old people pleaser pattern was like, I know, I didn't know I didn't. 

And this is also my plea to 100 of you. I have analytics on this podcast 200 of you hit play on that episode before one of you sent me a DM to tell me that something seemed off. So this is my plea, please friends know that I am a very real human out here just running wild like the rest of you, running my business, raising tiny humans and then trying in my spare time to put some good out into the world with this podcast. So if something ever sounds or feels funky to you, please send me a DM because there's a good chance that I published an episode with one hand while it getting marker off a wall with the other. That's just the season of my life that I'm in right now. 

And what all of this is to say is that that's the episode that you're getting this week. It is Monday night, and I have a couple half outlined podcasts, I really just need a week to get back on top of things. It's been busy behind the scenes in my real life. And so instead of being all or nothing and falling into this old pattern of well, if I can't put a polished, highly educational, you know, high value podcasts that I know my listeners are gonna get something out of and be happy with yada, yada, yada, yada, yada, instead of putting nothing out, right, and just skipping the week and hoping no one noticed, or staying up till two or three in the morning to get you that I am bringing you this, I am making a solid effort in my life right now, to break those patterns of sacrificing my own well being. For the sake of keeping other people in this instance, it would be to keep all of you my listeners happy by bringing you kind of that predictable, high quality educational episode and instead hoping that some of you find value in me showing up unpolished and imperfectly in this way. 

Because the truth is, even in the wee hours of the night, on Monday night, after bedtime recording a podcast. I actually love, love, love love doing this. I am a teacher, I'm an educator at heart. And there's another part of me that would love to sit here and pretend like or to tell you that I just spontaneously hop on a microphone every week and create something that sounds educational, that's valuable, but I don't at least not yet. There's a lot of planning that goes into each episode recording, there's the editing lots and lots of steps, go into bringing these episodes to life each and every week for you. And like I said, this week, I just really needed to play catch up. So instead of not putting something out, I've decided to just be a little bit more candid and unscripted with you. 

I am in the era of building my business around my babies. My number one priority is always time and attention to my family. And then with the energy I have after that, that always goes to our current clients, our one on one clients, our members inside my rise membership. And then what's left after giving them what I feel like we need that energy and that time gets pumped into the podcast into social media into the things that are forward facing. So when I have weeks that there is just less of me to give because the behind the scenes takes more of me. Something's gotta give. And so today, really leaning in to this hope that just good enough, just putting something out into the world is enough for at least some of you listening today.

So in addition to that, I want to I do want to share with you three other things. So today's episode definitely has value. It's just a little bit hodgepodge together. And so the first thing that I want to do quickly is to just hold some space for you to reflect on No matter where you are in your healing journey, or what it is that you are coming to this podcast for each and every week, then I want to invite you and share with you some ways that you can actually be an active part of this podcast. And then I'll end this episode with a really simple but a super, super powerful nervous system reframing tool for those of you who are trying to step into healing anxiety and depression through this nervous system lens. 

So number one, I want you to just take a minute with me and pause and answer some of these questions. What brings you to this podcast week after week? What is it that you're coming here to get? Are you a practitioner trying to learn how to bring a nervous system lens to the work that you're doing with your clients? Are you somebody who is struggling with anxiety and depression and looking for tools? Maybe you're somebody who knows someone who's struggling, and you're looking for ways to support them? What brings you to this podcast week after week. 

And now take a moment to reflect on something that you've learned. What's been a takeaway for you? So far? Something that's been valuable enough that you do keep coming back and hitting play? How have the things that I've taught in previous episodes been helpful for you? Is there a tool that you're loving? Has it provided a perspective shift and new way of understanding anxiety and depression that maybe just makes sense for you? I hear that a lot from people they're like everything you say, just makes so much sense. It feels like you're talking to me. 

And then my final question, this might feel like the most challenging question. So know that I'm asking it so lovingly. What are you doing with it? Or what are you doing with what you're hearing what you're learning the tools in your healing journey? I often share with our clients, you know, it doesn't matter what you know, it's what you do with what you know, that matters. And so again, I'm asking these questions lovingly. Are you taking a minute to reflect on what you hear, and trying to put that into practice? And I know some of you are, because I hear from you every single week in the ways that you are taking what you learned in episodes and putting it into practice in your life. And I know all of you have the capacity to do that to different degrees. 

But take a moment to ask yourself, Am I just tuning in week by week like hoping that if I listened to enough episodes, about anxiety and depression, maybe my anxiety and depression will magically go away? Or maybe Amanda will, will reveal that top secret healing hack. And I can do that one thing, and it'll fix everything. And I just want to compassionately remind you, and this is going to go into kind of number three, how can you be an active listener and active consumer of these episodes week by week, I want to compassionately remind you that nothing changes, if nothing changes. 

So much of what I hope to give you in these conversations is to increase your understanding of how the nervous system works, and the space and tools to help you to tune in and, and reconnect to that system. That's where healing starts. It starts in just reconnecting to the messages our body is giving us and learning how to respond to those appropriately. And so it doesn't matter what you know, it's what you do with what you know, that matters. What are you doing differently as a result of what you're learning, even if that's just operating and engaging with your symptoms, kind of through this new lens. And again, I'm gonna offer you a really powerful reframing tool in just a few minutes. And if you don't know where to start, if that's what's kept you stuck, why haven't you reached out to me, and again, I asked this authentically and completely pressure free. But I would love to hear from you. 

So this leads me to the second thing I want to share with you today. And it is that I want to invite you to be an active participant in this podcast. And there are three main ways that you can do that. The first is to simply DM me on Instagram or send me a message through the contact page on my website. And let me know what's impacted you this helps me to shape future episodes. And just for me to know that there are real humans on the other end of what I'm putting out into the world. And the second way that you can be an active part in this podcast is I am going to drop a link in the show notes to a form where I want you to ask me a question. Share with me something that you're struggling with that you want feedback on I am prepping to do kind of an Ask Amanda or a q&a type episode. And anything and everything is welcome there, you will remain totally anonymous. But I want to speak to you, personally in your struggles, I want to answer your questions. 

And the third way that you can be kind of an active part of this podcast is to help me get these tools out to other people who need them by leaving a five star rating and review. And as a thank you for those of you who do that, I'll put a second link in, in the show notes. If you screenshot your rating and review, and you submit it through that form, I will send you a link to get a seven day free trial to rise. This is my monthly mental health membership and nervous system healing space. So I'll send you a link to get a seven day free trial and access to all of the content in that space. 

Because here's the thing, I don't just want this podcast to be me talking into a microphone, hoping that what I have to say is helpful. I have this dream of having a huge global community built around this regulate and rewire podcast built around raises we which is my mental health coaching practice. One where I let you in on some vulnerable parts of my life in hopes that it supports you in yours. And that you send me DMs letting me know what resonates with you, you share this podcast with your friends. You tell me what you want to hear more of. And, man What a dream that I get to connect to some of you in real life because you join me inside our coaching programs or at one of my retreats that I am going to start running again next year, I want you to know that I do not take for granted a single one of you who tunes in and hits play and joins me in these conversations every week. 

Now the third and final thing that I want to leave with you in today's episode is a very, very simple, but powerful anxiety and depression, nervous system. Reframing practice. So here's what it is, for the next week, and hopefully forever, but just right now, just give me the next week. Every time you use or would normally use the word anxious or anxiety, I want you to substitute it for the word activated. Okay. And then anytime you might use the word depressed, I want you to switch that word out with the word shutdown. So for example, instead of saying I'm so anxious when driving, or I feel so anxious right now, you would think or say, I'm so activated when driving, I feel so activated right now. Or the next time that you think or say hate being so depressed, or depression sucks, you would make the simple simple switch to say, I hate being so shut down, or shut down sucks. Here's the thing, labels matter. And for most of us the label of anxiety or depression is pretty loaded. It's loaded with stigma with negative experiences, beliefs around it, some sense of brokenness, yada, yada, yada. But what you have been learning here in this podcast, is that what you may have previously labeled or been diagnosed with as anxiety or depression might actually just be appropriate symptoms of survival mode of you not being broken, but of your nervous system responding in an appropriate way to your past lived experiences and or your current life circumstances. 

And the words activated and shut down, reflect that with so much more compassion and curiosity and groundedness. And so this is my invitation is to just try it. And some of you might be wondering, like, Why do labels matter? It doesn't matter matter. It doesn't matter if I use the word anxious or activated. And so my challenge for you is if it doesn't matter, then just trust me. If it doesn't matter, just try to switch to using the more nervous system based terms. And if you are one of the many therapists or coaches or other practitioners who tune in to my podcast, I want to put a special plug to invite you to use this with your clients as well. And see if it makes a difference for them. See if it shifts how they feel when they think like, you could do this in session. Does it feel any different for you to say out loud? I feel really anxious right now versus I feel activated right now. Or maybe invite them to just again like I'm doing in your everyday life for the next week, swap out those terms. So I feel anxious Just right now because I feel activated right now I feel depressed because I feel shut down. 

Part of understanding and healing anxiety and depression through a nervous system lens means adopting a new approach. And this is one of the best places to start with that shift and that reframe. 

Alright friends, we've been a bit all over the place. But let's do this quick recap with our three tangible takeaways from today's conversation. So number one, good enough, is good enough. And I want to invite you to reflect on what part of your life or what tasks are you taking on right now that carry a lot of weight that feel really hard or really heavy? And can you get out of your head enough to just let good enough be good enough. And every time you do that, every time you put some unpolished or less than perfect, or is that really good enough version of whatever it is out into the world, whether that's in the way that you show up as a parent, or, or a partner, or in your business or at work or whatever. Every time that you try to break that old pattern of perfectionism or people pleasing, you put good enough out into the world and you survive. You have just showed your nervous system that good enough might be safer than you thought. 

Number two, I would love to hear from you. This is my ask is for you to be an active part of this podcast, from one human to another. I want to know and support each of you as personally as I can send me that DM asked me that question using the form in the show notes. Share with me something that you're struggling with. And my ask is that if you have gotten anything out of or are enjoying these podcasts, please leave that five star rating and review to help get these tools out to even more people who need them. And if you send me a screenshot of that review, again, I'll leave a link in the show notes to the form to do this. I will send you that seven day trial to get you access to all of the content inside my rise membership totally free. 

The third and final takeaway is that labels matter. Your nervous system tool of the week is to swap out the word anxiety with activated and depression with shut down and just see if it starts to bring you into a more compassionate and curious conversation with your body and see if it makes a difference in anyway. 

As always friends thank you so much for being here. I cannot wait to connect with you again next time to hopefully hear from some of you with the forms below. And in the meantime, I am sending you so much hope and healing. 

Thanks for listening to another episode of The regulate and rewire podcast. If you enjoyed what you heard today, please subscribe and leave a five star review to help us get these powerful tools out to even more people who need them. And if you yourself are looking for more personalized support and applying what you've learned today, consider joining me inside rise my monthly mental health membership and nervous system healing space or apply for our one on one anxiety and depression coaching program restore. I've shared a link for more information to both in the show notes. Again, thanks so much for being here. And I'll see you next time.

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