You Don't Always Have to Feel Feelings RIGHT NOW

Episode 55

If you've been in the healing space for more than 4 seconds you've heard things like, "you need to feel your feeling" or "healing comes through feeling." There's truth in it  AND what does that even mean? What if feeling even a little bit opens the floodgates? What if feelings show up 5 minutes before a meeting?

Join me for a realistic conversation around emotional regulation and how you don't always have to feel your feelings right now.

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3 take aways from today's conversation:

1. Feeling your feelings doesn’t always mean feeling your feelings right now.
2. Your nervous system lays the groundwork for emotions, but thoughts and behaviors can create emotions too.
3. You’re not a robot, the goal isn’t to never have hard feelings, it is to learn how to be with and regulate those emotions in a helpful way. 

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Transcript

0:00  
Welcome to regulate, and rewire and anxiety and depression podcast where we discuss the things I wish someone would have taught me earlier in my healing journey. I'm your host, Amanda Armstrong. And I'll be sharing my steps, my missteps, client experiences and tangible research based tools to help you regulate your nervous system, rewire your mind and reclaim your life. Thanks for being here. Now let's dive in. 

0:27  
Hey, everyone, welcome back. Today, I want to talk about feelings, feeling your feelings, how to feel your feelings, and something I call emotional fitness or emotional regulation. But I like to oftentimes refer to it as fitness because we understand that fitness is something that can be improved on. It's something that if we show up, and we work with regularly and our capacity increases, and I think being with moving through holding space for our emotions and our feelings, it works the same way. The more often we come into practice, we engage with this skill set, the greater our capacity comes for emotional regulation, as well as just the same way you wouldn't walk up to a 300 pound weight in the gym that you hadn't trained for. When our emotions show up as this 300 pound weight or this huge tidal wave. I think oftentimes, in the healing space, this rhetoric of feel your feelings you have your feelings come you need to feel them. And I've used this analogy in other contexts before, but if you walk up to a 300 pound weight in the gym that you haven't trained for, and you try too hard to lift it, you're going to hurt yourself, same thing, a tidal wave starts coming, if you don't know how to surf, you don't know how to swim, you're going to drown. 

1:48  
And so I think there is a conversation that's often skipped. When we use this rhetoric of, you know, you have to feel to heal, and you've got to learn to feel your feelings and where in your body is this feeling. And as a somatic practitioner, all of those things are real and valid in their own merit. And we have to also bring up this conversation around titration, this conversation around tiny, incremental experiences with something that has been overwhelming for us. And I think before I get into a little bit more of the, the teaching part of this conversation around like, okay, what are the function of feelings? And how can you maybe start to feel your feelings, especially because I know a lot of you listening to this podcast, either are or have been in a similar place in similar places that I have in my healing journey where you kept yourself so so so, so busy, at least for me, part of that was to avoid sitting with and being with things that felt hard, I oftentimes would feel a feeling come up and I was the queen of like, Nope, I'm fine, like on to the next thing. And it would just get shoved down shoved down, these wounded parts of me would just get pushed away and pushed away. 

3:11  
And today, I had an hour long drive to this monthly event that I go to. And I was set and I love I love this hour long drive to and from so it's two hours in a car, it's just me, it's like the one day a month that I don't work from home. And it's not even, it's kind of work related kind of not you heard me talk about it. It's, it's this motherhood business, mother owned business event that gets put on by a good friend of mine every single month. And I love the event. And I love the friends I get to see there. But I also have come to really love that drive time. For those of you who don't know who might be new and tuning in, I have two very young children, I have two little boys, a 10 month old and a almost four year old and the noise is non stop, the need for me is non stop. And this gives me just time to be and to process and to notice. And I am in a couple different places in my life, having a very wounded part of me make herself known. And the story that this part carries is that I'm too much. I'm too much. I say too much. I do too much. I asked too much. I'm too much. And this story feels a little too raw for me to go into very much here and now but I can almost guarantee that a future conversation will be about this part. Have me and the story and the healing work that I am soon to kind of step into to really work with this story. 

5:07  
But on this drive, I was sending a friend, a voice memo, it turned into like a 17 minute voice memo. And so my PSA is if you have that friend, who won't kill you for sending a 17 minute voice memo, and it is this kind of emotional, dump, whatever, please always send a follow up text that says something like, Hey, friend, that's definitely an emotional dump. Please only hit play if or when you have the capacity for it. So I sent this to her. And I end this with Okay, well, thanks for holding safe space for me. I feel like I want to just sob and cry and sob and cry. But my GPS says I am like four minutes from my event. And I'm really looking forward to this event. And I don't want to go with mascara streaking down my face. So I'm going to like, you know, button it up and put on that smile and walk in and make what I want out of this event. And there was a part of me who was like, No, you can't do that. Like, if you feel like you need to cry, like you need to cry, you need to feel your feelings, Amanda. This is this old pattern you have of feeling emotion come up and then just shoving it down. 

6:21  
But here's the difference. Here's the difference between where I was then and where I am now. And what I want to offer you is that what I shared with my friend at the end of this was, I feel like I want to sob Thanks for holding that safe space for me. I'm not going to though I'm going to just shake it off go into this event. But the good news is I have a whole hour drive home, that I can bawl my eyes on him I want to before I need to like jump into being mom. And the moral of this story why I'm sharing this here is for two reasons. Number one, is that's fundamentally different. There is a difference between I hate that this emotions coming up, I don't want to feel this feeling, I'm going to shove it away and I'm gonna distract from it. That's what I spent over a decade doing. And I noticed this is coming up. For me, this feels really big. And right now is not the appropriate time or place to move into this. This is going to flood my system in a way that's going to keep me from something that I want to do or something that I have to do or something that I need to do. And so for those of you who are engaging in your healing journey, and you're hearing this rhetoric come up with like you need to feel your feelings. Needing to feel your feelings doesn't always mean you have to feel your feelings. No, you don't always have to feel your feelings in the moment that they come up. Because big waves of grief can show up right before a business meeting, do what you need to do to like get through that it may not be a safe space or safe container for you to fall apart with the friends that you're with. And you may need to wait until you're home with a safe partner or somebody else. 

8:15  
And so I just wanted to offer that that feel your feelings does not mean number one, you need to feel your feelings now. And number two, you don't need to feel your feelings in a way that feels like the 300 pounds in a way that feels like a tidal wave. And I want to get my thoughts right around this because what so let's, let's backtrack. What does that look like? What could this look like? If you're somebody like me who has a pattern of let's say it's anger, maybe you know, the anger goes from zero to 10 for you really quick. And if you let yourself feel a little bit of anger, you're afraid you're going to lose control? What would it look like next time you notice anger showing up? If instead of shutting it down, you named it noticed it? This is anger, I feel anger. And I can't lose control to anger right now either because it's not the appropriate time or place or I just don't want to experience that pattern again today. But I want to let myself acknowledge the anger because all of our emotions, all of our feelings have functions. And so maybe all of you right now, I want you to think of an emotion that you have a particularly hard time with. What emotion for you feels really big? Is it shame? Grief, anger overwhelm what is that emotion that you know if you if you feel it, you're going to really feel it and it's gonna just wipe you out.

10:03  
Okay, we've got that we've got that emotion, take a couple breaths just get really regulated, maybe even thinking about that emotion is kind of activating your system. Now what I want you to explore, is the question, how has this emotion served you in the past? Or how does this emotion maybe serve you now. So I know for me, overwhelm is an emotion that sometimes feels like it comes on quick and it's all consuming. So how has overwhelm served me in the past will overwhelm has been my ceiling of if you keep going at this pace, you are going to break yourself down to maybe a point of no return. Overwhelm, helps kind of bounce me back to a place of recalibration. 

11:10  
Anger, how has anger served me in the past, I haven't always expressed my anger in a kind way in a way that I'm proud of. The anger lets me know oftentimes that a boundary has been crossed. Every single one of our emotions has a purpose. Now, it doesn't always mean that the emotion that we're feeling in the moment is appropriate for the moment that we're feeling. Now if you could see me, you would see that I put appropriate in air quotes because all of our emotions always make sense. Similar to our nervous system, our symptoms always make sense based on our past lived experiences and current life circumstances. But we've all been in a moment where our anger is disproportionate to this experience. I mean, maybe it makes sense that I'm like, a little frustrated, but not this angry. Or maybe it makes sense that I'm like, a little annoyed are hurt, but like not this devastated. And whenever my emotional response is disproportionate to the actual event happening in front of me, I know that one of two things is happening. Either one, my stress bucket is just full and so any and all emotions are gonna go to 10. Or this is triggering something from my past, this is triggering a wounded part of me. 

12:37  
Now, I want to step back in this conversation just a little bit and talk about feelings and how we get to a place of feelings. So what are first of all, what are feelings? Let's let's start there. I define feelings as sensations in your body. So feelings are sensations in your body. And feelings are also messengers. So think about happy. Imagine you had to describe happy to an alien who has never experienced human emotions and you can't use the word happy because they have no context for it. So how is it that you know that you're happy instead of angry? How was it that you know that you're nervous instead of depressed? Right, those feel different in your body. So if you had to explain happy to an alien who had no context for it. I know my words, I might say happy it's like it's like warm and light. Maybe it's a buzzer Enos in my head. It's a warmth and opening and my chest or take nervous. How might you explain nervous to this little alien who's zero context for nervous emotions? Anything? Okay. Nervous is like an unsettled feeling in my stomach. There's a racing heart. I'm kind of sweaty, maybe depression, I would maybe describe that as heavy, gray. Some numbness or disconnection. It's almost like I'm, I'm walking in sludge. I'm walking through thick mud or quicksand that just, I eventually sit in and figure what's the point? That's depression, at least for me, and we all might experience these feelings differently. 

14:32  
So where do feelings come from? They can come from the top down. We think a thought with every thought we think neurotransmitters are released and those neurotransmitters correlate to these increased the sensations in our body. Feelings can also come from our nervous system state. So we have activation or settling in our system and based on the somatic state that we're in our brain adds meaning to what we're feeling in our body. On a nervous system level, based on our past, that meaning is almost always derived from our past. And that creates feelings. This is why we can logically know we're safe, but not feel safe. And when it comes to feelings, I want to share what I call like five feeling facts. 

15:16  
Number one, is to operate under this context that your feelings are going to be 50/50 that you are going to feel 50% of the emotions that you want. joy, happiness, excitement, and 50% of the ones that you probably don't want, grief and sadness. And this is just part of the human experience. And I often work with clients who are like hoping Amanda like aren't, are you sure? Are you sure when I get really, really healed that I'm not going to be able to have like 80/20, or even like 70/30, like, I'd settle for 60/40, it's really going to be 50/50. And what I have found is that coming to a place where you just accept that life is gonna be made of 50% of those feelings that you want. And 50% of the ones that are hard, or heavy that you wouldn't necessarily choose allows space for all of them to be okay for all of them to belong. And obviously, seasons of your life are going to feel more like 80/20 in either direction. But really just setting the context for healing and this journey and nervous system regulation and emotional regulation, all of it is not to get to a place where you don't feel heard things anymore. It's to get to a place where you can move through feeling hard things in a helpful way, where you can have the capacity to feel all of the things without drowning in them. And so feeling factor number one that I invite you to settle into is that feelings are going to be 50/50. And this life, just the human experience. 

17:01  
And this lends to feeling Fact number two, which is there are no bad feelings, there is no such thing as a bad feeling. There are hard feelings, you bet there are hard feelings, I was feeling some real hard feelings earlier today. But there are no bad feelings. And when we can approach our feelings and turn towards our feelings with compassion, with curiosity, that capacity for those feelings for the human experience increases. 

17:32  
Feeling Fact number three is that you can be both you can be both devastated and grateful. You can be both frustrated and excited. I cannot tell you how often the clients that we work with inside the membership and in our one on one coaching program, say something like, oh, this was so hard, like this is so hard. Oh, but like, I know, we should be grateful because X, Y or Z is like going well in my life, or X, Y or Z like isn't as hard as somebody else has it. You can be both grateful and deeply hurt. And so just allowing all those parts of you to exist at once and for it to be oftentimes really nuanced, and tricky. 

18:33  
And I, I guess a personal share, again, because that's just kind of what we do here. When it comes to mind, I figure there's somebody on the other end of this mic who might need this. I've shared very openly about my pregnancy losses on in other episodes here. I am at a point now where I have a nine month old 10 month old he just turned 10 months. And for those of you who don't know, a couple years ago, I lost a little boy at 16 weeks. And that is grief. That was so big and so hard. And I shared even more recently that, you know, his birthday came up when we were in Puerto Rico and I had to like walk out of a pizza parlor on the verge of a panic attack. 

19:27  
All being fueled by that, but I shared with a friend today was that she was sharing her story of grief from divorce and just like how it's come up in phases and how she thought that she had really felt her feelings the first year after her divorce and she had really you know, process that and how she just did this meditation retreat and it all came up and she's like, well, I guess I didn't like release it all. I guess I didn't feel it all then. And there's more coming up now. And I shared with her two things. I shared with her number one. I don't like this rhetoric that like, well, if you like release it all the way that grief will never show up for you anymore. And I just looked at her and what if we just didn't expect that? What if you grieved, and you fully processed and released the grief that came up for you in that first year? And there's still grief, and what if, till the day that you die, this is going to keep coming up, and maybe you get to a season of your life, where this grief shows up for you. And you're like, oh, my gosh, it's been 10 years, it's been 10 years since I like felt this come up. So it doesn't mean it's going to be this big, or it's going to last this long. But I think expecting that certain feelings or certain experiences in our life ever become final that we've ever processed them or release them fully. Just that concept feels so silly to me. 

20:55  
And I'll come back to my shoulder surgery, right? Like I have dislocated the shoulder 10 times, I've had surgery twice, like, most days, I'm like, Yeah, I rehab the shoulder, it's great. And then like, there's one day that's too cold, and I'm like, Oh my gosh, like I, I I'm never gonna build us the shoulder again. And it's not that I didn't fully rehab it. It's that there's trauma here, there's wounding here. So we think number one, like setting this expectation that it's okay that things come up and that feelings are cyclical. And it's not that you didn't do the deep healing work. It's not that you didn't feel it, it's just that it's part of your story. It's part of your story. And it's forever going to be part of your story. And there's so much work you can do. So that that part of your story doesn't control today, as much as it you feel like it might right now, but it's okay. That it's never fully gone. And the other thing that I shared with her was bow, you know, sometimes I'll be holding Lachlan my 10 month old, and I'm like, it's hard to be sad, that I like lost our past son, because I have you and you make me so happy. And I am so full of joy that you're in the world. And you wouldn't be here if that didn't happen. And you know, and like, me being happy over him. And that grief, not feeling very big today, doesn't mean I'm over it, I'm never gonna have to deal with it again. Or that like I love my child any less, when I do grieve the loss of my boy, or that she doesn't love her new partner, or care for her new partner any less, because she's also in a new season of grieving her old. So all of that was maybe appropriately, a messy share around this concept of you can be both when it comes to feeling.

22:46  
And feeling Fact number four is that your feelings are always valid. Your feelings are always valid. If you're feeling hurt, you're feeling hurt, it doesn't mean that your hurt is necessarily somebody else's responsibility. But you are valid and feeling hurt. And in that hurt is often a need to look at yourself. What is it that felt hurtful about that, if it's hurt because of a partner, or a relationship, you want to stay in communicating? Hey, when you say things like this, I know you don't mean to. But there is a difference between intent and impact. And when you want to stay in a relationship with somebody, you also have to lean in to recognizing and working with the impact of the things that you say not just the intent of them. And so just taking a deep breath, and letting yourself know that your feelings aren't stupid, you're not dumb for feeling the way that you feel. You're not too much for feeling the way that you feel about something. And what I did for a long time was I brought those big, heavy, loud feelings to my partner to people as if it was their problem to fix. And a lot of times there was a role for them to play in doing different to stay in strong relationship with each other. But it's been my work to get quiet. Why is it that that hurt me so much? What part of this Can I own? What part of this do I need to bring to the table, but just holding space that again, these feelings or sensations in your body? But I also love to think about them as messengers. What is the message that that feeling brings? Because it's valid. There's a reason it's showing up right here right now. And in this way. 

24:41  
And feeling Fact number five is that resistance makes them bigger. Resisting our feelings makes those feelings bigger. Now I want to give you an example of this, of how resistance can make our feelings so much bigger. And this may seem like a trivial example. And for those of you who aren't parents. Sorry folks, this is is just a season of life I am. So lots of my examples are here. But I want you to imagine that you are just you're in your kitchen, your kids are playing really loud. It's not that they're arguing there. It's just that they're being loud. They're being kids. You feel annoyed. You notice you're feeling annoyed, and you think this thought of like Kaiser just being kids, like, it's not a big deal. Why do you feel this way? Then you feel kind of guilty. You're like, Man, I'm just like, always so annoyed with my kids. I'm such a bad mom, such a bad parent for being annoyed, so you feel ashamed. And then with that shame that fuels this thought of like, you're never going to be more patient. You're always going to be like this, you're always gonna feel annoyed and overwhelmed with your kids. And then there's hopeless. And so pretty quickly, we went from annoyed to hopeless because that feeling fuels a different story. What would it look like? If instead, same thing happened, same circumstance, kids are playing really, really loud, and you're annoyed? We're not doing anything to change the fact that you feel annoyed right now. But what if instead, making the fact that you're feeling annoyed at your kids a problem? You're just like, Yeah, I feel annoyed. It's valid. For me to feel annoyed, it probably makes sense that I feel annoyed. I don't love that I feel annoyed with my children right now. But I feel annoyed. And you take a deep breath you observe in your body, like where do I feel annoyed right now? What might this feeling be here to tell me? Is there any way that I can like, move this feeling? Through me? What do I need? What do I need to take care of me and the annoyed. And then that's it, it just stays at annoyed. And maybe it actually can lesson as you turn towards yourself, and you offer yourself just a moment of validation, of compassion, of curiosity of care.

26:49  
So when it comes to emotional regulation, I like to think that there are helpful ways that we can emotionally regulate and unhelpful ways. And I have boiled this into three categories, avoid, distract, and deal. So when these emotions come up for us, we can avoid. So this uses tactics that numb that suppress that deny or avoid the fact that you are having an emotional experience. This is unhelpful. And we avoid in a ton of ways we avoid with food we avoid with our phones, we avoid with to dues and busies. And alcohol. And there's so many ways that we just we avoid. 

27:35  
Then we have distraction. And some of you might be like, oh, yeah, like that's obviously unhelpful, too, we shouldn't distract from our feelings. This is where I'm actually going to come back to remember, sometimes our feelings show up as 300 pound weights. Sometimes they show up as a tidal wave, sometimes our feelings show up way bigger than we have the skill set to navigate. And so with distraction, I often explained that like sometimes we just need to distract ourselves when emotions or situations are too intense. And so distraction is different than avoidance, because it's a conscious and an intentional choice. Today. Today, today, today, when I was ending that voice message with a friend, I said, I am going to come back to this. But right now I'm going to use this event to distract and not just to distract. But what we'll talk more about in a minute is also how our behaviors and the things that we do can also help to create more empowering emotions for me. But I'm going to use this to distract as well from the intensity in which this is coming on as well as to use it to resource because maybe I can get the friendship and the holding and the capacity that I need to come back and navigate these emotions in a way that helps me to feel less flooded, which is actually exactly what happened. I ended today's event and I got in the car and I was like okay, you can sob now. And it was like actually I feel I feel okay, like that part of me that felt kind of helpless that really, really needed to to Sob was held, and I feel more resourced and tears definitely came, but not at that level of intensity. And so we'll talk about in a minute how behaviors and thoughts can help to create more empowering emotions when we are experiencing more disempowering, or they can help decrease the intensity or increase our capacity for the emotions that show up. But what distraction can do is that it can often just help you press pause, to come deal with your emotions at a more appropriate time, a more appropriate place, maybe with more appropriate resourcing whether that's with a therapist or a coach or a friend and distract and avoiding might look the same you can avoid with your phone. You can also distract with your phone. It's the intention behind those behaviors. And so I just want you to know that it's okay. If your emotion is coming at a time and you're like, I can't do this, this feels too big, or I've got X, Y, or Z and just a few minutes that I need to have some capacity for, I need to distract. Or I need to do something to take the edge off because I can I can be with anger at a level five, or I can be with sadness at a level two, but not attend today. Not a 10 right now. 

30:31  
And then the third way, the most helpful way to emotionally regulate is to deal. And like I said, distraction might be an initial way to deal but eventually comes that feeling, and processing and releasing. And so the next time you feel emotions coming up, or you notice that you are maybe distracting or avoiding emotions, just taking a moment to pause and say, am I avoiding? Or Am I distracting? Do I have an intention to return? And what is it that I need to deal with this emotion to move through this? Is it support from others? Is it just a quiet space? And so in building greater emotional regulation skills being reflective on am I avoiding? Am I distracting? Or am I dealing. 

31:20  
And the last thing I want to say before we wrap up this conversation on feelings is that we don't exclusively have to have a reactive relationship with our emotions. There are real and tangible ways that you can create more of the feelings that you want. It's not just about mitigating the feelings you don't want. But our thoughts create our feelings. So changing our thoughts about a particular situation can change the way that we feel. That's why things like cognitive behavior therapy can work in so many instances is because it helps you to gain a new perspective. And our behaviors change our feelings. So changing your behaviors in a moment can also change the way that you feel. This is why so many different lifestyle habits can impact our emotional state. And all of this is only possible when you are aware of your emotions, when you have the ability to create at least a semi regulated nervous system baseline because there's no way you're going to be able to strong arm a nervous system in a fight or flight state into feeling genuinely like joyful, and calm and all of those things accepting. But when we can learn how to address an unneeded survival mode in our body, calmer body that allows our prefrontal cortex, our whole logical and emotional brain to come online and work together to think different thoughts about situations that help us to create more empowering emotions. 

32:53  
We can engage in behaviors that help to create more empowering emotions. And so take a moment to ask yourself like What feeling do I want to feel more of? What feeling would be useful in a situation that you have upcoming this week? And then what thoughts are available to you right now that could help you generate that feeling? These would be great journal prompts, great journaling prompts. Let's say I need confidence. Okay, well, what thoughts are available to me right now that could generate a genuine feeling of confidence? What behaviors? Could I do that when I do these, I feel a little bit more confidence I have more self trust? And how can I remind myself to practice generating this feeling on a more consistent basis. And so when it comes to being an emotionally fit person, it's not just about creating capacity and a skill set to be with emotions as they show up. But also what can I do to create more of the empowering emotions in my life, to add that as more of a default filter for how I view and the stories that I tell about situations in my life. And these are all conversations that we could spend hours and hours and hours and hours and hours going into this could have been a 10 part series on all of the different feelings and the purposes behind them and the parts and the wounding that are usually behind them and the attachment theories and all of it, but what I want to really have you take away and maybe that's where we'll leave it as is these three. 

34:23  
These three takeaways from our conversation today is number one, that feeling your feelings doesn't always mean feel your feelings right now, or feel your feelings as big as they're showing up right now. And we can use distraction to make them a little smaller, or for a momentary pause to come back to them later. 

34:44  
Number two is that your nervous system lays the groundwork for emotions. But when you can create a greater baseline of nervous system regulation that gives you the capacity to be with bigger feelings. It also gives you the ability for or your thoughts and your behaviors to create more empowering emotions more often. 

35:06  
And number three is that you're not a robot. And the goal is never, ever ever to not have hard feelings as nice as that might sound. But it is instead to learn how to be with to hold space for these wounded, big feeling parts of ourselves, to hear the stories that they have to share the purpose behind the messages behind these emotions, and to be able to move through them in a more helpful way. There's a way and we actually just talked about this inside the rise membership. In a call last week, there's a way to be angry, and you can be angry and you in a lot of times probably should be angry. And you don't have to yell when you're angry. It's not a matter of yelling or not being angry. What does it look like to push against a wall or do with a tense and release, we threw a you know what I call an adult temper tantrum with a pillow together in one of those calls and building the skill set and that's something that you can do in coaching. That's something that a lot of people get when they are in therapy. I love to do it through this body based somatic lens of all of your feelings belong. And there is a way to build up your capacity to feel your feelings and also your skill to feel your feelings in a helpful way. And if this is work that you would like support in this is what we do every day inside our races we coaching programs. Alright friends.

36:47  
Thanks for talking about feelings with me today. And until next week, I'm sending so much hope and healing your way. Thanks for listening to another episode of The regulate and rewire podcast. If you enjoyed what you heard today, please subscribe and leave a five star review to help us get these powerful tools out to even more people who need them. And if you yourself are looking for more personalized support and applying what you've learned today, consider joining me inside Rhys, my monthly mental health membership and nervous system healing space or apply for our one on one anxiety depression coaching program restore. I've shared a link for more information to both in the show notes. Again, thanks so much for being here. And I'll see you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai