A Quote & a Soapbox About How Mental Health is "Health"

A quick intermission from our 8 part "Essential 8" series because my brain needed a break after juggling a lot the past few weeks. At the heart of this episode is a conversation about this quote, “When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.”

In the context of your healing the quote can be rewritten as “when you’re struggling with anxiety or depression, you fix the environments in which you’re healing and growing, not you.”

You are not broken, you do not need fixing. Your symptoms make sense and assessing and addressing these underlying factors lies at the heart of healing.

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• Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program.

Website: https://www.riseaswe.com/podcast

Email: amanda@riseaswe.com

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Transcript

Welcome to regulate, and rewire and anxiety and depression podcast where we discuss the things I wish someone would have taught me earlier in my healing journey. I'm your host, Amanda Armstrong. And I'll be sharing my steps, my missteps, client experiences and tangible research based tools to help you regulate your nervous system, rewire your mind and reclaim your life. Thanks for being here. Now let's dive in. 

Hey, friend, today is going to be a quick break from the essential aid series, not because you need it, but because I desperately do. I have given each of those episodes a considerable amount of prep time behind the scenes to try to keep them as concise, accurate and helpful as possible. And in that, layering those efforts on top of my book launch, I have done a major behind the scenes reorg of my business and my team in some really exciting ways. I also less than 24 hours after my book launch, got on a plane and traveled out of state with my two tiny humans and my husband for a family wedding. We got back just a couple days ago. And so I'm sitting here on Monday night, after my kids bedtime. Before this conversation goes live for you all tomorrow morning. And the absolute last thing I was going to do was sit and research and Cross my T's and.my eyes for what will be next week's nutrition episode in the way that I'm going to feel good about to present that information. 

So instead of a well researched, well structured podcast, I want to share with you a quote that I heard recently, and I loved I also think it really ties into this essential eight series really well. And then just kind of see where the conversation goes from there a little bit more organically today. Now this quote is by a man named Alexander they hire, I'm not perfectly certain about how to pronounce his last name. And it's one of those quotes that can shift your perspective almost immediately. And it did mine in a lot of different contexts in the context of myself and my healing journey, my clients and theirs. I just on boarded some new team members, like what does it look like for them to bloom in my organization for my children to bloom in my household. But this is it, this is the quote and it is: 

"When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower." 

And I'm going to read that to you one more time. And if it wasn't obvious, I want you to consider yourself, you this amazing human trying to figure out how to heal and human better as the flower. "When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower." 

When you aren't blooming. Focus on fixing the environments in which you grow, not in fixing you. What I love so so much about this quote is that it clearly identifies the environment as the problem, not you. Over 30% That's like one in every three individuals will struggle with anxiety or depression at some point in their life, or for maybe even much of their life. And this failure to bloom. struggling with anxiety and depression, this is somebody in survival mode. Instead of somebody who's thriving, I, I simply refuse. I refuse to believe that one out of three of us just came defective, came in need of fixing. And I believe that if given the proper environment to thrive, most if not all of us would. 

So that's the first point that I want to make here is that yes, you may be the one struggling. And yes, it is your responsibility to do something about your environments. But please take this as an invitation to stop blaming yourself for your struggling. I believe with every part of me that we are all doing the best we can with the capacity and the tools that we have in the moment. 

And the second point that I think I want to expand on with this quote is your environment. And this is why I think this quote settles so well inside this essential 8 series because when I use this term environment I'm talking about yes, your actual environment, the people places and things that make up that environment. societal constructs and safety and all of those things. But also your quote, environment. The conditions that lead you to either having the capacity to bloom or not, are things included in this essential 8 series: movement, breath, sleep, stress management, nutrition is mind body connection, your thoughts and your beliefs about yourself and the world, your community, your sense of belonging, or lack thereof. And all of these things contribute to that, again, quote, environment, and to making it conducive or unconducive for that blooming. And on this journey of healing anxiety and depression. It requires that we identify the underlying problems and address them. And when I say things like this, there's always somebody that's like, oh, but what about, what about genetics? Or what did I get this from? And yes, some of us might inherit certain genetic factors that make us more or less susceptible to being easily activated, or more quickly overwhelmed and shut down. Some of us may have been born with more sensitive nervous systems. We've talked here on the podcast before about how the stress levels of your mom when she was pregnant with you may have impacted your stress tolerance from birth. But even still, what we find is that any of these genetic predispositions are just that their predispositions not pre determinations. And if you haven't heard about epigenetics yet, this is an area of science that we are learning some really incredible things about genes and gene expression. 

So quick summary, epigenetics is a rapidly evolving field that helps to explain how the same genetic code can produce different outcomes depending on the environmental and physiological context. So in this area of study, it looks at how different functions or expressions of our genes are turned on or off as a direct result of environmental exposures. Things like diet, stress, all the things we're talking about here in this series, and the choices that you make every single day influence how your genes are expressed. And so this conversation around, you know, nature versus nurture, and its impact and its implications in our role in our mental health and overall well being. It's no longer up for debate. And it's almost always nearly some element of both. But what epigenetics is showing us that more and more and more of it is this nurture depends on these environmental considerations. And it's a simplifying this, if needed, that even if you did inherit some of these epigenetic factors, those can be changed your brain, your metabolism, your nervous system, and its states of regulation or dysregulation is all malleable. And there are so many different ways to improve it. And that's why so often, you know, one of the soapboxes you hear me talk on is that mental health looks different for everyone, and so will the solution, which is why it's so important that we have diversity in the types of people and places and methodologies that support people in healing. Because each case of anxiety, depression, nervous system dysregulation is different. 

Solving your unique mental health puzzle healing, it is going to it's going to require some creative detective work we tell our clients all the time, especially in our going through our one on one coaching program, that your healing requires kind of to you to assume two identities. One is this actually three three identities. The first is this scientist, the scientist who is willing to be curious, who is willing to be potentially detached from an outcome, who's willing to experiment to do some trial and error just to learn to figure it out. So that curiosity element is another role you'll have to play as a detective. Somebody who is going through your past lived experience your current life circumstances, your environment, your habits, your relationships and saying, you know, are there any clues here? What are the contributing factors that are either creating conditions to bloom or are ones where I'm, I'm wilting, I'm dying, I'm not thriving. And then the third, and this is the one that comes, I think, much easier with that, in that container of CO regulation that coaching often offers is just this element of self compassion. I hope that's what all of you take away, in at least some small ways from each of these episodes to is this moment of, oh, maybe I make sense. Maybe my symptoms make sense. Maybe it's not my fault, is being able to turn to yourself in from a place of self compassion to this curiosity, this creativity and this compassion, self compassion are all factors that play into solving your unique mental health puzzle, because it is it's going to require some creative detective work to understand what factors are contributing most significantly, to your story, your symptoms. And knowing that it's not usually just one thing that needs to be identified and work through, there's probably a number of different things. 

I want to make it very, very clear in conversations like this, that I support current treatments for mental health. And for example, talk therapy, medication. I support these current treatments, while also calling for radical change in how we think about how we talk about and how we treat things like anxiety and depression. Because maybe taking an SSRI was the trick for you. But I'm guessing that if you are listening to podcasts like this, either it wasn't. Or maybe it didn't completely get you to where you want it to be, or you're somebody who doesn't want to take them what other options do I have before I turned to something that has only 50% efficacy and some pretty terrible side effects sometimes. And none of that mitigates that it works for the people that it works for. But we have worked with countless clients who were over medicated and still sick. Because the system is mainstream medicalized model of mental health, was trying to manage their symptoms without looking at the underlying contributing factors. And that just doesn't work. You cannot force a flower to bloom. And you cannot force your self into wellness. By manipulating your neurotransmitters, your brain chemicals without looking at underlying, again, quote, environmental factors. That's your psychology, your physiology, your relationships, your actual environments, that are continuing to contribute to unwellness. 

More often than not, the simple solution isn't the answer, or at least not the full answer, which goes against everything that you and I and we naturally want as humans. And I also want to caveat this with, I know that there is more to healing, anxiety and depression than getting enough sleep, breathing properly, exercising nourishing your body. In our practice, we do much, much, much deeper work than this with our clients as well. But if those things are not part of your healing plan, then it's incomplete. And I have often found that physiology is the missing link from mainstream mental health solutions and conversations and strategic plans. And I think too often when we talk about mental health, and for those of you who are still listening, you might be like, Amanda, how did you turn a simple quote into a soapbox? I just did. That's where we're going tonight friends, and I don't have the mental capacity to, to really censor these thoughts. So you're getting it kind of raw and real. And if you're still listening, then there's some part of this conversation that's either resonating, that you're curious about or maybe it's really pissed you off and you want to see where this goes and I'm okay with all of that. And I want to invite and encourage you to continue to listen with an open mind. 

But in my opinion, far too often, we talk about mental health without the context of general health. If you are not generally healthy, then you should not expect yourself to be mentally healthy brain health and body health are the same thing. It's health. And I do want to briefly acknowledge some amount of ableism. I think there's some of that in the statement, I want to acknowledge that. Because there are so many different bodies with varying capacities, there are so many different brains with varying capacities. And these prescriptive ways of moving and breathing, for whatever reason may not be accessible to everybody. But even in that there are general conditions of health that apply to each of us. You do not get to weigh in on some of these physiological pieces. 

Your biology has determined for you how much sleep you need for your brain and your body to optimally function. Your biology has determined for you how oxygenated your blood needs to be for optimal organ and brain health. It's determined for you that you need to exercise and eat enough food, to be nourished, for your cells to do the job that they need to do. And even that you need, play deep, safe friendships, rest, these are all biological imperatives. And if those areas of your life are not met enough, you should expect struggle to some extent, you should not expect to be well and vibrant. If there are some of those areas that suffer again, for reasons that might be out of your control due to injury, disability, health conditions, adverse conditions of any kind, don't give up. Instead, Get really clear and strategic about the ones that do fall within some measure of your control. And what can you do to optimize those to take some of that physiological stress load that depletion off your nervous system. 

And maybe what I'll share with you, as part of this conversation, too, is our vision statement at Rise As We and it is that: "Rise As We is working with hope towards a world in which mainstream Mental Health Solutions seamlessly integrate mental and physical health, under tangible frameworks for helping people heal and live authentically whole lives." 

And we could peel that apart, tease that apart exactly what it means and maybe we will in a future conversation. But what my methodology or the methodology of, of my practice, the work that we do with clients operates from three primary foundational beliefs. Number one, is that humans have basic biological, psychological and sociological needs. And when those needs are not sufficiently met, we won't feel quote, well, and there are innumerable ways of being or feeling sub optimally; well. 

Foundational belief number two is that when we can create conditions where those needs are sufficiently met, and safety is sufficiently experienced, our system, our nervous system, has a propensity, basically, it has a natural inclination towards healing. And we return to more wellness. So when those conditions when our environment is not perfect. If you've ever grown flowers, you know that the soil doesn't need to be perfect. It just needs to be good enough. Our needs need to be met enough, we need to feel safe enough build a sense of belonging enough for our system to begin to naturally return to being more well. 

And our third foundational belief is that all of our thoughts, our habits, our ways of being are or were protective at some point, and the self compassionate and curiosity that comes from understanding that is what truly drives our healing. 

So again, revisiting this quote, of "When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower." And I think why I love this quote, so so much is because this is the heart of our coaching. This is the heart of how we approach supporting people in their healing journeys. One of the things that our coaching does, especially well in our one on one coaching program, that's our program that's called Restore say A 16 week one on one coaching program with endless opportunities for for more support beyond that in personalized ways, but our coaching helps you assess the environment, the biological, psychological and sociological or relational elements, we take you by the hand in this process to help you sort for the things that are currently within your control and things that are not what are the things that are currently within your capacity or not. And help you set out on a healing journey that feels really tangible, and personal and whole. 

In the work that we do with clients, we specialize in working with people who feel like they've tried everything. If I had $1, for every time I talked to somebody who's like, I feel like I tried everything, or I've been in traditional talk therapy for a long time, maybe it was helpful, maybe it wasn't, but I'm feeling stuck, or I'm feeling like something is missing. These are the people who working through our one on one coaching program, see an average symptom reduction of 38% not because of some trade secret, but because it's often the first time they've been supported in unpacking all of these things in such a personalized whole human whole life, psychological and physiological way. It all has a place here. And in that program. 

And what I hope some of you get bits and pieces of and are able to personalize in your own ways, even from Just this podcast, is some of the most powerful work that we do with clients is that we number one, help them to radically redefine anxiety and depression, away from the story of brokenness and into one of hope and healing. And number two, we provide and CO create with them. It really strategic multifaceted and personalized path towards that healing. You will not be anxiety or depression free after working through our program. That's not the goal. The goal is not to turn you into some unfeeling robot, the human condition is to experience things that are really hard. But do you have context for that hard? Do you have belief in your capacity to move through that hard? Do you have the tools that you need to move through these symptoms, not if but when they show up? One of our big goals is to help you understand that your symptoms are there for a reason that each of those symptoms has a message. And that they make sense based on your past lived experience and your current life circumstances. 

Your brain and your nervous system are malleable. Neuroplasticity is real. And it's rad. If you can dis regulate your nervous system, then you can regulate it. If you can lay down unhelpful thoughts or habits and you can establish more helpful ones. I believe so deeply in the work that we are doing. I see it transform people's lives every single day. 

And I did not intend to bring this quote or bring this conversation to a place of like self promotion for our one on one coaching program. But here we are. And this isn't where we'll end. I'll move through this. And then we can have a little bit of a different conversation where I do want to leave you with some really thoughtful, self reflective questions for your healing journey. But if this conversation is landing for you, if this way of healing is calling to you, or you're feeling curious about it, I'd love to connect with you. And I'm going to drop a link to book a discovery call with me in the show notes. I have opened up some extra availability for the next couple weeks. If you don't find a time that either works for your schedule, or sometimes there's been timezone differences. Please do not book a call that's at 4am Your time, send me an email, we will work something out. But what I want to promise is that these discovery calls are always human, centered, and pressure free. If you want to learn more about this one on one coaching program, on this call, I hold space to hear your story, your struggles, whatever part of that you feel comfortable sharing. I answer all your questions about this program and is it a right fit and what can I expect to get from it and how could this work with my unique struggles? We can gameplan a little bit together whether you work with me or not. That is an opportunity for you to get some of this personalization, some of the strategic feedback on that call, I'm not going to ask you to make a decision, I'm not going to ask for your credit card information. Many, many people by the end of that call do they say, this is what I'm looking for. But many people say, I need some time to think about it. Or we together decide this program isn't the best fit for you right now. And it gives you an opportunity and me an opportunity to maybe advise you on where or what might be a more appropriate next step for your healing journey. I truly love offering these calls, I love getting to, it's an honor really to be trusted with parts of your healing journey to have been invited in whether it's just that discovery call or it moves beyond that. 

And twice last month, I actually had two different individuals share something to the extent of like Amanda, I got more out of this half hour call than I have in months or years of therapy. And that's not to knock on therapy, I think those individuals probably didn't find the place in the therapy world that was going to serve them best. But my goal is to hold safe space for you to offer support. And if our one on one coaching program, by the end of that call feels like the right fit. My hope is that it feels really, really good and safe and like the right next step for you. And for those of you who have maybe looked into our one on one coaching program in the past, but maybe not taking steps forward or not. But that call, because financing was going to be a problem. I know that for many people, our one on one coaching program, it's an investment, it's one that I can stand behind 100%, I'm willing to have as much price transparency, as you ask for in that discovery call. It is absolutely at market value for what's being offered. And I know that it's a price point that still won't be accessible for everyone. 

Which is why I feel so excited to share with you that we recently secured a financing option that allows you to break up payments for this program for up to 24 months. And this has allowed this program to be an option for a number of people who in the past it wasn't. And when it comes to accessibility, that's one of our pillars. At Rise As We we have four pillars, hope, community, trauma informed and human centered care, and accessibility. And this is why I've spent the last two years trying to secure more flexible financing. So excited about that. But this pillar of accessibility, it's why I offer the membership at a sliding scale. It's why I put together a whole course to go along with my book at a really affordable rate. It's why this podcast is 100% free. For those of you who don't know, I have put hundreds, hundreds of hours into this podcast and haven't made one single dollar from it. At least for now. There's no paid ads, there's no sponsors. This is coming to you live from a human out there in the world basement, who cares a whole awful lot about offering the tools, the perspective shifts, and most importantly, the hope that I wish I would have had earlier on in my healing journey. 

All right, we'll wrap up that conversation. And I want to bring it back to where we started back to this quote, that I just want your soul to feel in here in whatever way it needs to. 

"When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower."

In the context of your healing, this quote could be rewritten as: "When you are struggling with anxiety or depression. You fix the environments in which you are growing, not you." 

You are not broken, you do not need fixing. You are a bigger version of a tiny you who has had to come up with a lot of creative ways to find belonging, safety to get your needs met. I believe our coaches believes so deeply in your ability and your capacity to heal.

And so what I want to offer you at the close of this conversation is just some questions that you can maybe take some time to reflect on now or throughout the week. 

Can you just take a look around and identify the things that are keeping you from blooming? 

Which of those things are within your control or capacity to shift? It is so important to think about the environments in which we live and we work and we're trying to heal and to ask the questions of what what is this environment like? 

What's the good about it? 

What promotes or what stifles my growth or my healing? 

What beliefs or behaviors shape this environment? 

What are those daily habits, relationships, thoughts, environments that play a role? 

Knowing what makes up your quote, environment greatly affects whether you are just getting by or whether you are thriving and healing. This assessing phase is so, so important. Who can you seek out? To get support in this? We are just one of many, many incredible groups of practitioners who can offer trauma informed care out there. And I guess one more plug of if you are craving or even just curious about our unique whole human whole life approach to healing. I would genuinely love to connect, but who call send an email, find me on Instagram drop into my DMs, whatever feels the most comfortable for you. 

All right, friends. That's all for today. Like I said, I'm coming to you from my basement. Post my kids bedtime Monday night before this conversation goes live to you all tomorrow morning. If this conversation was your jam, please reach out to me and let me know if it wasn't your jam have some grace and compassion. Flying with tiny humans. My brain is mush at this point. And now I'm ready to go to bed myself. So hopefully, this conversation held something of value for you. 

I promise we're gonna be back to our esseintal eight series next week with an episode all about the role of nutrition on our nervous system and mental health symptoms. Really cool conversation. I have it partially outlined, I need to make sure that I am good to go because I'm not a nutritionist. I'm not a dietitian but I am consulting with three or four different friend practitioner. On on all the things that I'm saying we're going to talk about mitochondria blood sugar regulation, micronutrients, mind gut connection, really cool conversations next week. 

So I guess I'll see you then.

Thanks for listening to another episode of The Regulate and Rewire podcast. If you enjoyed what you heard today, please subscribe and leave a five star review to help us get these powerful tools out to even more people who need them. And if you yourself are looking for more personalized support and applying what you've learned today, consider joining me inside Rise, my monthly mental health membership and nervous system healing space or apply for our one on one anxiety and depression coaching program Restore. I've shared a link for more information to both in the show notes. Again, thanks so much for being here. And I'll see you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai