Anxiety Regulation Tools (Part 3)

Anxiety Mini Series Part 3

It's not enough to understand WHY you're struggling with anxiety, you also need to have tangible tools to regulate your nervous system and heal. In this episode we will build on the education and exploration from part 1 & 2 of this mini series. You'll learn that the secret sauce to regulating your nervous system is to first meet it where it's at and then layer on various regulation tools to walk it towards feeling more calm and grounded. I also introduce you to a number of specific regulation tools for you to start using today.

3 Takeaways:

1. Meet Your Nervous System Where It Is Don’t try to force calm with meditation when you’re highly activated. Use the tool layering approach: start with movement and intensity-matching tools when anxiety is high, then gradually shift to gentler practices as you regulate. Match the intensity of your tools to the intensity of your activation.
2. Learn to Read Your Body’s Feedback Your nervous system will tell you if a tool is working through physical signs: feeling more settled, slower breathing, decreased heart rate, muscle tension release, or spontaneous yawns and sighs. Trust these signals over forcing techniques that don’t feel supportive.
3. Build Your Personal Regulation Toolkit Discover 2-3 tools that work for you at each anxiety level through experimentation. Practice these tools regularly when you’re calm so they become automatic during stress. Remember: this is good old-fashioned trial and error—there’s no perfect universal protocol.

CLICK HERE for the full show notes, resources, and 3 tangible takeaways!

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Transcript

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00:00

Welcome to regulate, and rewire and anxiety and depression podcast where we discuss the things I wish someone would have taught me earlier in my healing journey. I'm your host, Amanda Armstrong. And I'll be sharing my steps, my missteps, client experiences and tangible research based tools to help you regulate your nervous system, rewire your mind and reclaim your life. Thanks for being here. Now let's dive in.

00:27

Hey, everyone, welcome back to our third and final part of this three part anxiety series. If you have not checked out the past two episodes, I highly recommend starting there to give you just a background that I'll be building off of today. 

00:42

So in part one, I helped you better understand anxiety through a nervous system lens. And part two, we talked about nervous system mapping. So this was where we got really reflective. Part one was just some basic education to give you context. And then in part two was where I invited you to reflect on some of the past lived experience or current life circumstances that might be contributing to your anxiety. And to help you to map out your experience with anxiety. What are some of the symptoms? How does it show up in your body, and as you'll learn in today's episode, knowing those signs and symptoms can help you to intervene and to regulate much earlier, which is just going to make your journey with anxiety a lot easier in the long run. 

01:30

And then today is the long awaited episode, where I am going to share with you a lot of tangible tools to heal anxiety. So the biggest question that this episode is going to answer is how do you regulate your nervous system? How do you heal anxiety I hear over and over and over and over again from people who've maybe been in talk therapy for a long time or worked with other coaches or done a lot of you know, podcast listening and book reading and self help type stuff, where they get to this place where I understand why I'm struggling, but I don't know what to do to actually heal. And understanding that why is really helpful, because the first step to regulating your nervous system and healing anxiety is this layer of education and awareness that we cannot rush through what I tried to guide you through in part one and two of this series, you need to understand how your nervous system works in order to work with it. And you need to have an awareness of how you uniquely experienced the different nervous system states to know which tools are the best fit for you in the moment. 

02:36

So I can give you all of the tools in the world. But if you don't know how to match an appropriate tool to how you're feeling in that moment, then it's useless. It's like showing up with the tools that you need to give somebody a really awesome manicure, when the job is to build a house or vice versa. 

02:55

Having that awareness of where you are on that nervous system ladder is so fundamental and crucial for applying these tools in an effective way. Then, after you have this education, and this personal awareness comes the regulation, which is what we're going to talk about today, you have to identify the specific reactive and proactive regulation practices that are the most impactful and supportive for you uniquely. 

03:21

So when it comes to healing modalities, when it comes to regulation, practices, etc. There are two different approaches. Or really, there's really two different categories of approaches. And these are top down versus bottom up. So top down, you sometimes might hear it be called like neck up actually right, neck up or mind based approaches. And then bottom up is kind of that neck down or body based approaches. So some top down practices are things like talk therapy, mindset work, meditation, mindfulness, thought, work, etc. And these practices try to change your thoughts in order to change the way that you feel. And these bottom up practices really work on transforming the feeling and working in and through the body with those body sensations, and your nervous system state to support changing your psychology, changing your thought processes, etc. And since we know that in this mind body conversation 80% of that communication originates in the body 80% of the conversation that happens between your mind and your body starts from the body and travels on up. 

04:38

And so in our practice, this is where we focus these are tools like nervous system regulation, somatic or sensory motor therapies breath work, even practices like EMDR and so on that really work first somatically in and through the body. And the truth is you need both in your anxiety healing journey but in my opinion does bottom up. practices are foundational. And without starting there, it can feel like you're spinning your wheels for a really long time and just trying to change your thoughts without seeing much progress, because when the state of your body is still in distress, when it is still in survival mode, you are always going to see that reflected in your mindset. 

05:22

So let's talk about now, two categories of regulation tools. So those are kind of two categories of healing modality practices. When it comes to the work that we do with clients in healing anxiety and depression, we help them create two very distinct toolboxes, two distinct sets of tools, proactive tools, and reactive tools. 

05:46

So let's talk about what the difference is. So these reactive tools are the in the moment regulation tools and practices that help you to reverse that spiral of activation, or shutdown. So this is when you're already there. Like I'm already activated, I'm already anxious, I'm in the middle of a panic attack, like now what, what are the tangible in the moment tools that are going to help me to reverse this spiral. And then we have our proactive tools. So these are more think habits or lifestyle practices, right. These are the consistent habits and lifestyle practices that you do proactively to improve things like your vagal tone, and just to create a life that's more suited for nervous system regulation. So this could be stress management, lifestyle changes, again, vagal, toning exercises, things that increase your capacity to handle life's load, and lay down new patterns for future behaviors and future reactions. This is kind of what lays the groundwork for you to be less anxious in the long run. 

06:55

But we also need, and it's so so important that we have these reactive tools for in the moment. And so that's actually what I'm going to focus on today is to help you find supportive reactive tools for anxiety, and future conversations, we'll definitely dive deeper into different lifestyle practices and habits that either perpetuate dysregulation versus ones that facilitate regulation. But today, I want to support you in better understanding how you can regulate in the moments of anxiety, tools, tangible tools that can help you push back against your body's stress response in real time. And so a lot of what we're going to talk about today is these research supported in the moment tools that shift and regulate your physiology actually shift the state of your body as a way to powerfully regulate and calm your psychology your mind. 

07:58

And so, in order to do that, I first want to help you understand how your physiology works, what's happening in your body when you are in this state. So again, a reminder, if you've already done Part One and Part Two, anxiety happens as part of this sympathetic activation of your nervous system. This is your mobilized state, you are preparing to fight or run from the stressor. And so when our body is in this state, which you can just assume your body is in that state, if you're feeling activated, anxious, angry, etc. There is something very real that changes in our body's physiology, our blood pressure and your heart rate increase your respiration, simpler terms, your breathing changes, your eyes dilate, and you get tunnel vision, it literally changes the optics of your visual system, your digestion changes, your immune function gets suppressed, and so on. 

09:01

And so when our body is in the stress response, there are very real changes in our physiology. And these are all things that happen automatically and immediately. And many of them you can't control you can't shift. You can't do anything to consciously change your blood pressure or your heart rate. But there are a few of these autonomic or automatic body systems that we can shift. For example, our breath or our vision. And working with your respiratory and visual systems are actually some of the fastest levers that you can pull to immediately and effectively and measurably shift the state of your nervous system. 

09:46

And again, this is where that education and awareness becomes so powerful because if you didn't know this, then you're not going to know that those tools can be effective and helpful for you. So I'm here to teach you that to have the most power Powerful physiological levers that you can pull to regulate your nervous system are going to be through your breath, and through your visual system. And I'll give some examples now and then some other tools that work with those systems later. 

10:14

So for example, when it comes to your breath, every time you breathe, as you inhale, your heart rate slightly increases. And as you exhale, your heart rate decreases. So let's say you do an extended exhale, breath, just meaning that your exhale is longer than your inhale. Well, what happens in your body is that you are slowing down your heart rate longer than it was sped up. And this sends an immediate signal to your nervous system, and to your brain that you are safe, it immediately activates your relaxation response. 

10:52

Now is one extended exhale gonna get you from the verge of a panic attack to feeling like rainbows and butterflies? No. And we'll talk about tool layering in a minute, because breathwork is not always the most appropriate tool depending on the intensity of your anxiety. But isn't that cool to know that that's what happens in your body. Every time you inhale, heart rate increases, and when you exhale, heart rate decreases, and we can exhale longer than we inhale to pull on that lever and tell our body to chill out that it can calm down, but it's safe to activate that relaxation response. 

11:26

And then with your visual system, when you are stressed, your pupils dilate, and your vision narrows. So you actually get a tunnel vision. Well, by intentionally tuning in to your peripheral vision, or by slowly gazing around the room that reopens your vision field, again, sending an immediate message to your nervous system and brain that you're safe or at least safer than they thought you were. 

11:54

By shifting your physiology, we can change your psychology. And another tool that I love. And especially for anxiety is legs up the wall. And this is exactly what it sounds like Go put your butt against the wall and your legs up, you'll hear me talk about this tool. So so often, because you don't actually have to do anything technical for it to be supportive for you. 

12:18

So when you put your legs up the wall, the blood that's in your legs, comes down via gravity towards your heart slows your heart rate down, well, your heart rate and your breath rate they mirror each other. So when your heart rate slows, your breath slows, and all of this tells your nervous system, oh, okay, we can calm down. Because if there really was a tiger, if we really were fighting for our life right now, one, we wouldn't have our legs up the wall that too, but we wouldn't be feeling these physiological shifts in our body. 

12:49

So there are as many different regulation tools as there are exercises in in the gym, or ways to work out or ways to strengthen your body. There are innumerable there are so so many different regulation practices. 

13:04

So a question that gets asked is, you know, how do you identify what tools are best for you, you know how or when do I use them. And the reality to this is that there is no universal nervous system regulation protocol. Different things work for different people based on the unique needs of their nervous system. And there are some tools that tend to be more universally applicable. And there are some general guidelines when it comes to regulating your nervous system that are very, very helpful to know. 

13:40

And to start introducing those I want to tell you where most people go wrong. And it is in trying to apply general or generic practices or protocols for regulation. So this is where you often hear, you know, meditation improves mental health or breathwork can calm you down, or exercise helps anxiety. And I could cite multiple pieces of research that support each and every one of these claims. These are true claims according to research that meditation improves your mental health breathwork can help you calm down. Exercise helps with anxiety. But here's the thing. It all has to be taken in the context of you where you are on that nervous system ladder, and how effective those tools are for you. 

14:27

Right because remember, the sympathetic state is a mobilized state, it's preparing you to move to fight off a run from a threat. So if your nervous system is primed for mobilization, you're feeling really anxious, and you try to sit still and hit play on a 10 minute meditation to decrease your anxiety. It is there is a high likelihood that the exact opposite effect is going to happen. Your nervous system might freak out a little bit. It might be like WTF like you don't get it. There's a problem like sitting down and just focusing On your breath is gonna get you killed. Because the stress response in our body is generic, your nervous system really doesn't know the difference between a tiger, your kids stressing you out or negative self talk. It just knows that it's activated and it needs to act. 

15:20

Right breathwork, same thing, just take a deep breath, well, you don't want to take a deep breath, your nervous system is ready to fight. So here is the secret sauce. When it comes to trying to regulate your nervous system, you have to meet your nervous system where it is. First, you have to start with tools that meet your nervous system, where it is first, and then slowly wind it down. So in my practice, we refer to this as tool layering. 

15:59

So to help you understand this better, let's use a simple just 123 scale. One you're mildly anxious to, you're moderately anxious, and three, you're really freaking anxious. So if you are feeling again, really anxious, and you try to do a meditation, or to take a slow, deep breath, your nervous system might actually freak out more, because you're obviously not getting the memo. Instead, some tools that might be more helpful to start with are things that put you in motion, things that mobilize you that honor, the fact that you are carrying a lot of extra stress energy in your body right now. So this is where you might turn to something like walking, just move. If you're feeling really anxious in your desk at work, get up and go to the bathroom, go get yourself a glass of water, can you go outside and go on a walk, get yourself into motion in some way. That tells your nervous system Hey, I see you, I hear you, it also helps it to discharge some of that extra activated energy. 

17:04

There's a practice called somatic shaking. And it's literally just that shaking your body to discharge some of that activation, I will usually start by flicking my hands like I'm trying to flick water off my hands. And then I might shake my shoulders or my legs. 

17:18

you can balance. So you can come up onto your toes and then drop these are called heel drops. So kind of grounding and moving that intensity of coming up onto your toes slow and then just dropping your bodyweight into the floor. 

17:31

Even some bouncing shoulder shrugs, right? Just get yourself into motion in some way. And then as that starts to kind of take the edge off, or even maybe you're not in a place where you can, you can move in a weird way, then you can also meet yourself in that intensity in a way that kind of shocks the senses. 

17:52

So if you had a level three of anxiety, you might try to grab and hold an ice cube, maybe you're out to dinner with friends and you've got some social anxiety. Well, almost no one's going to notice if you grab an ice cube and you you hold it in your hand under the table. And the intensity, that's almost gonna cause your hand to be in a little bit of pain, if at the very least uncomfortable because it's so cold. That shocks your senses, and often takes the edge off anxiety. And then you can start to insert some other tools, or keep really sour candy in your bag. And popping some really sour candy into your mouth again, can shock the senses meet you at that level of intensity, help you to take the edge off and then refocus, and start integrating in some less intense tools. 

18:39

Now, if you have more awareness of how anxiety shows up for you a little earlier, and you can catch it at like a one or a two, you might not need to meet yourself with so much intensity in the tools that you choose first. And so again, this is why mapping your nervous system and becoming familiar with how anxiety shows up for you is so valuable. 

19:02

So in your day, you may notice oh man, yeah, I'm clenching my jaw or my shoulders are tight. Or I'm just starting to feel my stomach not up or my chest get tight. And that's when you might be able to intervene with tools like swaying, so maybe just swaying side to side. This repetitive movement is soothing for our nervous system. So maybe you do swaying instead of shaking. Or maybe you can do just kind of like a quick wiggle or stretch. Again, still allowing our body to move a little bit just it doesn't need to be as intense. This is where breath practices like that extended exhale might work when you're at a one or two or breath practice called a physiological sigh. So this is a double inhale with an extended exhale. It sounds something like this to inhale through your nose and along exhale out your mouth. 

19:52

There is some really incredible recent research that shows that just two or three of those breaths a physiological sigh can signal nificantly decrease the immediate stress load on your nervous system. And this is where a lot of those vision therapy exercises come in. So, again, your respiratory, your breath system and your visual system are two of the quickest levers you can pull to impact your body's stress response. Because they're the two parts of your autonomic nervous system, meaning that their functions happen automatically that you also have conscious control over. 

20:26

And I'll likely do full episodes in the future taking a deep dive into both the systems separately and a ton of various tools. But for the sake of introducing you to as many tools in this episode is possible to experiment with and regulating your anxiety. 

20:41

Here are two vision therapy drills that my clients find really helpful when they're anxious. 

20:46

So the first is gaze opening. And so again, when you go into tunnel vision, when you're stressed, this is simply engaging that peripheral vision. So sometimes that just means having clients identify like what is in their peripheral vision without moving their eyes or head, or sometimes I'll have them and maybe you want to try this now, keep your eyes looking forward. But put your hands on the side of your head about a foot away, and wiggle your fingers with your eyes forward, can you just noticed that your fingers are moving in your periphery. And so as we become more aware of what's in our peripheral vision, we are also communicating to our nervous system, hey, we're okay, we're safe. 

21:25

The other one is orienting. And this simply means that you slowly scan the room or the environment around you. When we're anxious, our eyes tend to be really dirty, quickly moving from one thing to the next. And so when we can slow down scanning kind of from left to right the environment around us, that also communicates to our nervous system, we're safe, it helps us to orient to the environment around us. 

21:51

So quick overview of different tools work for different people, different tools work better, depending on whether you're at a level one, two, or three. And the goal is to identify a few tools that you know work for you, at each one of these levels of intensity that you can turn to over and over and over again, to resource and regulate yourself. And the more often you practice these tools, the better that you will get, the more often you do these, the easier it will be to use them in moments of high stress and anxiety. 

22:26

So I do regulation practices throughout my day, every day. They're just built in. And so if you can think back to that stress bucket analogy we talked about with the nervous system monitor, if that bucket represents the stress load on your nervous system, the goal with these reactive tools is to just poke holes in that bucket throughout your day, as you notice anxiety showing up in little or big ways. And as you get better at poking holes in that bucket, it is so much less likely to overflow, or at least won't overflow as often. 

23:00

So I think the natural next question is like how do I know which tools are the right fit for me. And the truth is, my friends, it is a little bit of good old fashioned trial and error. And I wish I had this perfect and universal blueprint to give you but the reality is it doesn't exist, your nervous system has unique needs. And also, I would say over the years of working with so many clients, we have found tools that are a bit more universal. And so I will talk about some of those in a minute to give you a starting point. 

23:34

But before I go into just a laundry list of tools, I want to help you to understand how you can personally evaluate whether a tool is helpful for you or not. And the key to this is again learning how to stay tuned in to the subtle cues that your body gives you. And so if you notice that you're feeling activated, stressed, angry, anxious, etc. And you do one of these practices. Here are a couple of signs that it is supportive for you. So do you in general, feel less activated? Do you feel a little bit more calm, settled or grounded in your body? Does your breath slow or deepened? Does it become more steady? Do you feel your heart rate slow down? Do you become more aware of your surroundings? After you do one of these practices? Does your jaw unclench? Do you have less tension in your body or in your muscles? And some fun ones to notice is when doing any of these tools do you yawn or sigh or swallow? A spontaneous yawn sigh or swallow is a sign that your vagus nerve has been activated and when your vagus nerve is activated that helps you to regulate and really learning to let your body be the guide. These practices are designed to feel supportive, and if they don't feel supportive for your system Listen to that and try something else. But with some of these signs I just shared with you, your body will tell you what feels helpful and right for you. 

25:10

Now, I am going to just quickly go through some general practices that might be helpful or supportive for you when you're at these different levels of anxiety. 

25:19

So if you're able to catch that anxiety at a lower level, some gentle swaying, stretching, and extended exhale, breath, or that physiological sigh might be helpful. Those vision drills, so visually orienting, looking around the room, or tapping into your peripheral vision. And a tool that I love here too, is a tension release. 

25:42

So if I can catch this sometimes even works for me when I'm at, I'm at that three, but I'll inhale, and I'll clench all my muscles as tight as I can, right telling my nervous system, I get it, I get that you want to fight right now. And then I exhale and I invite it to let go. And if I can do that a few times, my nervous system typically gets the message of okay, I can protect myself. But it's also safe for me to let go. 

26:06

And then if you're at that level three, things like heel drops, somatic shaking, an ice cube, or a sour candy, getting yourself into motion in some way to mobilize. 

26:18

And then one that I think across the board is helpful, both proactively and reactively. When you feel like you can't really do anything else you're trying to wind down if you've got a lot of anxiety. Towards the end of the day, this is so helpful to prepare for a good night's sleep is that legs up the wall. 

26:34

So your three tangible takeaways to bring this whole conversation together. Tangible takeaway number one is you need to meet your nervous system where it is. And then slowly shift the tools that you're using or the intensity in which you're using them as you become more regulated. So this is something we call tool layering, identifying the tools that are the best fit for you at a level one, two, and three. 

27:05

And then the signs takeaway number two, is that the signs a tool is supportive for you, is if you notice a general calming settling or just feeling less activated in your body. If your breath rate becomes more steady or slow, your heart rate slows down, you're more aware of your surroundings, you have muscle tension that relaxes, or if you notice a spontaneous yawn, sigh or swallow. 

27:31

And then tangible takeaway number three is that you are going to discover the tools that are the best fit for you, you're going to create what we refer to in coaching as your regulation gameplan through some good old fashioned trial and error, discovering what tools work best for you at what level. And the more familiar you become with these practices, the more often you engage them, the easier it will be to access them in the moments of higher stress and anxiety. 

28:02

And just like I mentioned before, this helping people create a personalized regulation gameplan is one of my favorite things, it brings so much strategy to healing I feel like I get to take the decade of experience that I have as a personal trainer and apply it to nervous system regulation. Like I said, just like there are literally countless exercises that you can do in the gym, to strengthen your body make your body more flexible, capable increase your body's capacity to do. The same goes for regulation practices. And just the same way as a personal trainer I adapted what exercises we did to meet the unique needs and preferences and effectiveness for each individual. This is exactly what we do in coaching as well. We help each individual that we work with Discover the regulation practices that work the best for them based on their needs, preferences and effectiveness. 

29:01

And if you are looking for support in this work, I just want to invite you to join us inside our rises we coaching programs, because this is the exact work that we walk clients through in our in restore our one on one anxiety and depression coaching program, as well as inside rise, which is my monthly group coaching mental health membership. So if you are looking for personalized support in helping you to identify the tangible, research supported tools to help you reverse that spiral of anxiety, not just in the moment, but like I said, we also help our clients create that proactive toolbox. If you are ready to take a full mind body approach to your healing. I would love the opportunity to support you in a more personalized way in one of those two programs. And you can check out my website for some of those details. 

29:55

So in conclusion, I hope that this series has been helpful in I'm helping you to understand your anxiety in a new way that again, you are not broken. In fact, there is very little that is going wrong at all your nervous system is operating exactly the way that it's designed to based on the operating manual that it has from your past lived experience and your current life circumstances. And as you gather more of that education, that awareness and start to identify these tangible research supported tools that help you to shift your physiology in a way that powerfully and measurably influences and heals your psychology, you will begin to walk yourself into a new life. Thanks for being here. And I cannot wait to continue to have more and more conversations to help you regulate your nervous system, rewire your mind and reclaim your life.

30:53

Thanks for listening to another episode of The regulate and rewire podcast. If you enjoyed what you heard today, please subscribe and leave a five star review to help us get these powerful tools out to even more people who need them. And if you yourself are looking for more personalized support and applying what you've learned today, consider joining me inside rise my monthly mental health membership and nervous system healing space or apply for our one on one anxiety and depression coaching program restore. I've shared a link for more information to both in the show notes. Again, thanks so much for being here. And I'll see you next time.