Regulated Reflection: A Grounded Approach to Ending the Year

Sign up for the NYE Circle – Sunday, December 29th at 8 PM ET

As the year comes to a close, this episode invites you to reflect on the past year with curiosity and compassion—not judgment. I’ll guide you through a simple process to look back on meaningful moments, notice patterns, and set intentions for the year ahead.

You’ll also hear about my NYE Circle happening this Sunday, December 29th, at 8 PM ET—a free, 90-minute virtual event to help you regulate, reflect, release, and step into 2025 with clarity and purpose.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why reflection is a powerful tool for healing and growth.
• Seven prompts to guide your reflection and intention-setting.
• How to join my NYE Circle and make space for meaningful change in 2025.

Here's the 3 takeaways:

1. Reflection is a tool for growth, not judgment.
   Like watching the "game film" of your life, reflecting on the past year with curiosity and compassion—not criticism—helps you learn, grow, and move forward with clarity.
2. Focus on what supported you.
   Identify the tools, habits, or practices that helped regulate your nervous system this year. Carry those forward into the new year to build a foundation for healing and resilience.
3. Want support? Join me on December 29th for a free, virtual, community event! CLICK HERE

Looking for more personalized support?

• Book a FREE consultation for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program.
• Join me inside RISE, a mental health membership and nervous system healing space.
• Order my book, Healing Through the Vagus Nerve today!

*Want me to talk about something specific on the podcast? Let me know HERE.

Website: https://www.riseaswe.com/podcast

Email: amanda@riseaswe.com

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Transcript

0:00  
Amanda, welcome to regulate and rewire an anxiety and depression podcast where we discuss the things I wish someone would have taught me earlier in my healing journey. I'm your host, Amanda Armstrong, and I'll be sharing my steps, my missteps, client experiences and tangible research based tools to help you regulate your nervous system, rewire your mind and reclaim your life. Thanks for being here. Now let's dive in. 

Hi, welcome back. I don't know how the new year can simultaneously feel two minutes away while also still feeling like it's two months away, but the end of the year is approaching, and with that comes this natural pause of reflection. And I really want to offer a framework for how you can turn towards reflecting on this year, especially reflecting on the ways that you've navigated your mental health and your healing journey through a lens of compassion and curiosity in a way that feels really grounding instead of what can sometimes feel like an overwhelming or a self critical process, because reflection, when it is done in a regulated and compassionate way is one of the most powerful tools that we have for growth and healing. And I would love to invite you to move into this new year instead of making these resolutions or creating checklists for all of the things that you need to fix or you want different next year, to move into this process, honoring where you've been, curiously noticing patterns, and then moving into that new year with that reflection, with a greater sense of intention and direction, for your healing, but for your life, for who you are, who you want to be, how you want to show up in the world, how you want to feel on a day to day basis. Because when you can get more clarity on that, then it becomes the Okay, how? What support do I need? What are the small steps that get me 1% in that direction. 

One of the things that our practice really specializes in is helping our clients assess their lives, get clear on where they are versus where they'd like to be, or how they're currently experiencing and feeling things and the state of their nervous system versus what they'd like and then creating a very strategic path forwards. 

I think healing is this really ambiguous, overwhelming concept sometimes, and what our methodology specializes in is giving some structure to that. And so today I want to give you some context for this experience. Give you some prompts, some questions. Next week, there'll be a guided experience to follow. 

But what I really want to do that I'll briefly preface now and then we'll talk more about it at the end of today's conversation is to invite you to join me for a really special live event that is happening on Sunday, December 29 at 8pm Eastern Time. This is our fifth annual New Year's Eve circle. This is a free community event. It's held virtually, and it is my largest community event of the year, and in this time together, it will be a completely guided experience with nervous system regulation, reflection, release, it's a really powerful way to step into the new year with more intention. So more on that later. 

But for now, let's dive into today's topic. And I want to start by expanding a little bit more on why reflection matters. 

So let's think about athletes for a second. I know that feels like a really big jump. Have you ever wondered why athletes watch game film after a match or a competition? They do not do it to dwell on their mistakes or to beat themselves up for missed plays. They do it to learn when an athlete sits down to watch a game or a competition, they are looking for patterns, what worked, what didn't work, how did their choices or their strategies or their reactions shape the outcome of that game? And by reviewing the past, they can identify what to carry forward and what to adjust. This prepares them to show up stronger and more intentional in their next game. And my hope is that reflection in our lives very much works the same way. The past year is like your personal game film. It is filled with wins and missteps, everything in between and when we can take time to reflect, it gives us an opportunity to notice patterns, to notice patterns in how we respond to stress and challenges or joy. It gives us an opportunity to identify what supported us and what didn't, what worked for us and what didn't. 

And when we can self. Passionately, curiously, reflect, we can also learn from our experiences without judgment, so that we can move forward with more clarity. And this is critical. This is crucial to our healing process. It's as crucial to our healing process as it is for an athlete to improve their game. You're here because you're trying to improve your healing game. And again, the key is to approach this reflection with regulation and compassion, because if we look back from a place of dysregulation, feeling overwhelmed or anxious or shut down, it is so easy to spiral into self criticism or hopelessness. But when we can reflect from a regulated place, we can see things more clearly with curiosity and care.

and this is something that I studied. So for those of you who don't know, I have a master's in kinesiology, emphasis Sport and Exercise psychology. I know it's a big mouthful, essentially, my grad school curriculum was half in the kinesiology department and half in the psychology department. And my research and my master's thesis looked at the bi directional relationship between depression, movement and social support. And when I graduated, there were a number of different things I could have chosen to do with my degree. I could have pursued further schooling to have been a sports psychologist. I ended up at Google headquarters in their corporate wellness program, and then when I left there, moved into this physiology, first approach to mental health rises. We what I do now, 

but in that I have a number of colleagues who have moved into like the competitive athletic space, and a good coach is not going to allow an athlete who is fuming or mad or dysregulated or already self critical to watch film of a game that didn't go well. A good coach, a regulated and emotionally attuned coach, is going to help their athlete get regulated, get clear headed, and then come and watch film, so that they have the space to be like, Oh, okay, yeah, that that wasn't great. That wasn't great. But instead of spiraling out into more self criticism, which is not going to be helpful, they can look at something and say, yeah, that didn't work. And that's a pattern that I have. What do I want to do about it? 

And so when it comes to regulated reflection that is at the heart of this, it's coming to this from a place of groundedness, compassion and curiosity, and if those are challenging for you to access on your own again, please, please, please come to the New Year's Eve circle. Please allow me and this community to hold space for you to access regulation so that you can do this regulated reflection in a way that is going to help you have clearer intentions for your healing moving forward. 

Now, what I'm going to do in this part of the conversation is I am going to move through seven different reflection prompts, and I'm going to move through these. I don't want to say pretty quickly. I'll go through them at a normal pace, but what I am not going to do is hold space for you to reflect right here and right now. So there's really two ways to listen to this. Either number one is to have out a pen a paper journal, and be prepared to hit pause after each so if you want to do this live with this podcast, I'll read it. I'll give some description. You'll hit pause and reflect. Another opportunity is just to listen, just to sit and listen and have these questions settle, especially if you'll be coming to my new year's eve circle event, because I'm going to hold space for you to do a really similar reflection as part of that event. 

So prompt number one, regulated reflection. Number one is to ask yourself, what moments from this year stand out as meaningful or impactful for me, what moments from this year stand out as meaningful or impactful? To me? This could be a big life event or small, quiet moments that stick out to you. What made them special? How did they make you feel? It might have been moments of joy or connection or growth. It also might have been challenges that taught you something important or felt overwhelming for you. So taking a moment to reflect on what made these moments stand out. How did they shape you? 

Prompt number two is, what patterns did I notice in myself this year, were there any reoccurring themes in how you felt, in how you reacted, in how you coped? Did you notice times when you felt stuck or overwhelmed, patterns and times that you felt grounded or calm? Can you. Notice any patterns of what contributed to those states or what helped you in those moments. So this question is, what patterns Did you notice in yourself this year, helpful or unhelpful? 

Prompt number three is what supported your nervous system this year. So take some time to think about the tools, the habits, the people, the places, the things, the practices that helped you to feel more regulated, that helped you to feel safe, seen, supported, maybe it was deep, breathing or movement. It could have been a new hobby or a new friendship, spending time or reaching out to somebody that you trust, what worked well for you, and how can you carry that forward? It is so important that we understand the things that don't work for us. It's also really important to take intentional time to notice the things that are working for us. And can we make a conscious effort to continue to integrate that into our experience? 

Okay, prompt number four, what challenges stretched you the most and what did you learn from them? This might be a repeat from some of the moments that stand out as meaningful or impactful for you, but now filtering it through this lens of specific challenges that stretched you the most, and what did you learn from them you can think about difficult situations, relationships, grief, anger, how did your nervous system respond? What did you learn about your capacity to cope, your needs for support, your limitations, your patterns when things are overwhelming. 

Prompt number five is what are you most proud of this year? This could be a big accomplishment, maybe a career milestone, in addition to the family, it could be something deeply personal, like showing up for yourself during a hard day. Maybe it was that you set a challenging boundary, or you started a hobby you've been saying you would for years, anything. What are you most proud of this year? And I would encourage you, if multiple things come up. Write them all down. We need to celebrate our wins. 

Prompt number six, what would you like to release? What do you want to leave behind as you move into the new year? Are there habits, thought patterns, beliefs, relationships, objects that no longer serve you. Letting go create space for what you want to invite in, and reflecting on what you want to release or let go is the first step. You've got to identify the change you want to make before you can then ask yourself, what does it look like? How do I do that? What support do I need? So what do you want to release? What do you want to leave behind as you move into the new year or a new season of your healing? 

And prompt number seven is, what do you want to carry forward or build upon in the new year? What have you already been doing? What have you already started maybe it's continuing to prioritize your mental health. Listen to a podcast like this, cultivating more specific practices or fostering relationships that bring you joy. Think about what you would like to cultivate more of maybe it's rest or connection. Creativity regulated living. What do you want to carry forward or build upon in the new year? 

And those were the seven reflection prompts that I wanted to offer you with again, this reminder of please take an effort to only come to these reflection questions in a place that feels safe and comforting and holding for you after a day, or a practice that has felt more regulating for you. And if these questions, if this guided reflection, resonates with you, if this feels like something that you'd like to do again, I would love to invite you to go deeper with our community, to come in just like I think it's a week and a half from when this podcast will publish, about a week and a half from now, December 29 at 8pm Eastern Time, join me for our fifth annual New Year's Eve circle. 

It is one of my favorite events of the year, we had almost 200 people sign up last year. It is free to anyone, anywhere, and because I know I am going to get messages asking me, there will be a replay sent out because I know there are listeners from all over the world, so many different time zones to my podcast. 

but I will caveat that with if. If you are able put it on your calendar, ask a partner for support with kids, get a babysitter, find a quiet corner in your life, and if you can be their life, there is something so so incredible. 

And whether this has been your best year, your worst year, or something in between, I promise, there is something powerful waiting for you. In this event, we are going to create space for nervous system regulation. I'm going to guide you through practices to process storage stress, to connect with your body. 

There'll be a guided reflection where we will honor what this year has brought, both the growth and the challenges. There's going to be a release where you get clear on some of the things that you want to let go. And we do have, I share always that this event is where the woo meets the research supported nervous system practices. A handful of years ago, this event was just my community, just the members inside my membership. And then the year after that, we decided we were going to open it up to everybody. And one of the things that we did the very first year was we wrote a list of all of our fears, all the things we wanted to release, and we on the call, we burnt them in safe ways, in safe places, individually, in our own homes. And it became this really special tradition. And it won't be mandatory, but if you choose, you will have an opportunity to burn, burn your fears, to burn the things that you want to release. And this, for some is a really like sacred, symbolic thing. For others, it just adds an element of play into this reflection and anything in between. 

And then we are going to settle in to some intention setting, how we can move forward in our healing journey, in our lives in a more grounded and self compassionate way that is full of hope and like I've said, this is a fully guided event. There is no preparation needed, there is no prior experience required. Just come as you are, come as you are, where you are, and I will guide you through every single step. 

I know the end of the year can feel busy and overwhelming, but I promise you that this event is a grounding and holding space where you will feel supported and connected. You will feel safe and seen, and as we close however, you're going to reflect, whether it's at this event with us or on your own. Think about it like watching the game film of the last year of your life, not to criticize, but to learn and to grow. It's a chance to notice what worked, what didn't, what you want to carry forward. And when we do this with that regulation and compassion, it becomes a really powerful tool for healing. 

Now for today, our three takeaways is, number one, reflection is a tool for growth, not judgment. 

Number two is to focus most on what supported you, identify the tools, the habits, the practices that helped you regulate your nervous system this year, carry those forward with you into the new year and build upon that foundation for more healing and more resilience. 

And TAKEAWAY NUMBER THREE, one more time, if you want support in this please join me, you'll find a link in the bio to sign up with more details, and I would love to see you there. 

Thanks for being here, and I'm sending so much hope and healing your way. 

Thanks for listening to another episode of The regulate and rewire podcast. If you enjoyed what you heard today, please subscribe and leave a five star review to help us get these powerful tools out to even more people who need them. And if you yourself are looking for more personalized support and applying what you've learned today, consider joining me inside rise my monthly mental health membership and nervous system healing space, or apply for our one on one anxiety and depression coaching program, restore. I've shared a link for more information to both in the show notes. Again, thanks so much for being here, and I'll see you next time you.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai