Why Different Tools Work for Different Nervous System States (Part 1)

Ever wonder why a breathing exercise that works for your friend makes your own anxiety worse? The problem isn't you - it's that we've been treating nervous system regulation like it's one-size-fits-all. Your nervous system has different states (activation, freeze, shutdown, and regulation), and each one needs different kinds of support. In this episode, we explore why tailored approaches work better and set the foundation for understanding your nervous system's unique needs.

This episode serves as Part 1 in our "Different States Series"

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why the same regulation tool can help in one nervous system state but backfire in another
• The four main nervous system states and what makes each one physiologically and psychologically unique
• The difference between reactive regulation (shifting out of a state) and reactive resourcing (supporting yourself within a state)
• Why these tools are temporary scaffolding while you do the deeper healing work
• How to start developing flexibility and agency in navigating between different states

3 Takeaways:

1. Your nervous system has different states that need different tools. 
2. You have two choices when dysregulated: stay with it (resourcing) or shift out of it (regulation). 
3. These tools are temporary scaffolding, not permanent solutions. The real goal isn't to need these techniques every day forever. It's to do the deeper work of healing what's causing the chronic dysregulation while using these tools as support along the way.

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Transcript

Amanda Armstrong  0:00  
Amanda, welcome to regulate and rewire an anxiety and depression podcast where we discuss the things I wish someone would have taught me earlier in my healing journey. I'm your host, Amanda Armstrong, and I'll be sharing my steps, my missteps, client experiences and tangible research based tools to help you regulate your nervous system, rewire your mind and reclaim your life. Thanks for being here. Now, let's dive in.

Amanda Armstrong  0:25  
Today. We're diving into something that is a really big aha moment for so many of our clients, when they are learning to navigate anxiety and depression through a nervous system lens, which is understanding that different tools work better and why different tools work better, depending on the nervous system state that you are in. So think about this for a moment. Have you ever had a friend tell you, Oh my gosh, when you're having a panic attack, try to do this thing, whatever that may be. You go to try it and it doesn't work, or it makes things worse, or maybe you have been in therapy and you've learned a couple really helpful coping strategies, but they only seem to work sometimes, and you can't quite figure out why. So here's what I want you to know. It's not that it's a wrong tool, that the tool doesn't work. It might not even be that you're doing it wrong. The issue is that we have been treating nervous system regulation tools like they are one size fits all, when the reality is that your nervous system has different states, and each of those different states has a very unique and specific physiological and psychological blueprint. Your physiology changes in real and measurable ways, depending on whether you're activated, regulated, shut down, and that shift in your physiology sends different messages up to your brain, which makes the way that you are thinking through things, perceiving things, responding, reacting to things change as well. And so with each different nervous system state, there are certain tools that work better to help respond to that particular physiological or psychological shift and eventually help to regulate it. 

Amanda Armstrong  2:20  
So today we're going to explore why different tools work better for different nervous system states, primarily talking about four states, activation, freeze, shutdown and regulation. I'm going to touch briefly today on the different physiology and psychology of each that requires a tailored approach, but just know that today's episode really is about setting the stage for our next four episodes where we are going to go deeper into each specific state. So there will be an entire episode on activation, freeze, shutdown and regulation, the physiology and psychology of those states, helping you to better understand what's going on when you find yourself. You find yourself there, how to know when that's where you are, and then giving suggestions for specific tools to meet each state. And then another conversation I think is important to revisit within this is the difference between reactive and proactive regulation, and maybe even diving in specifically to the difference between reactive regulation versus reactive resourcing, because understanding this distinction can be really helpful for knowing which tools to reach for and when. 

Amanda Armstrong  3:30  
And the bigger picture that I want you to keep in mind with these conversations, while we are going to talk about a lot of reactive in the moment. Tools over this series, the ultimate goal when trying to reclaim your life from anxiety and depression, when seeking to regulate your nervous system, is not for you to need these tools every single day for the rest of your life. The real goal is to do the deeper work and make the changes needed so that you're not chronically stuck in any particular dysregulated state. But the reactive tools we are going to talk about know that they do have an incredibly important time and place, and no matter how far along in my healing journey I have gotten, no matter how far on the other side of anxiety or depression, I would say that I now, currently am on a regular basis. These are tools that I still pull in and pull on in some way so often, because nobody's human life is static. We're all going to have moments of overwhelm, even shutdown. And it can be really empowering to understand what's happening, to be able to be reflective about why, and to have some go to tools to resource and regulate it gives you the opportunity to navigate your nervous system with more agency and flexibility, while you also seek to do some of that deeper work for long term healing. 

Amanda Armstrong  4:58  
So let's. Let's start with why? Why the one size fits all approach to nervous system tools just does not work. Think about it this way, if you had a physical injury, you wouldn't treat a sprained ankle the same way that you would treat a broken ankle or a broken arm, right? They're both injuries, but there is different physiology happening. They require different approaches. There might be some overlap, right? Rest, Ice, elevate, but a sprained ankle and a broken ankle are different injuries, and your nervous system works the same way. When you are in an activated state, your heart is racing, your thoughts are spinning. You're feeling this familiar anxiety building. Your body is in a very specific physiological condition. Your sympathetic nervous system is firing. Stress hormones are flooding your system. Your body is literally preparing for action. It's mobilizing. So in this state, you're going to need tools that work with that activation energy, not trying to kind of forcefully shove it down. But let's say you're in a shutdown state. Instead, maybe you're feeling heavy or numb, disconnected, feeling like you just don't want to get off the couch, get out of bed, your body is in a completely different physiological state. Based on polyvagal theory, this is what we refer to as your dorsal vagal system. Your energy has dropped way, way down. Your body is essentially trying to conserve resources. It's overwhelmed to the point of shutdown, and if you try to use the same tools that you would use when you're feeling anxious or activated, they are not going to land the same way. 

Amanda Armstrong  6:49  
Now let me give you a real life tangible example of this. Let's take the tool and extended exhale breath. So this is where you extend your exhale out longer than your inhale when you breathe, your heart rate and your breath rate, they mirror each other. So on an inhale, your heart rate ever so slightly speeds up, and on the exhale, your heart rate ever so slightly slows down. So the goal with an extended exhale breath is usually to get your heart rate to be slower a little bit longer than it's faster, which turns on your body's relaxation response, which helps you to downshift your nervous system. This tool, when you are feeling mild or moderately activated, could be really helpful. You're saying, Hey, I'm noticing some activation in my system. My goal is actually to feel more calm. I am going to shift the way that I breathe, which is going to shift my heart rate, which is going to turn on my body's relaxation response, and help me get there. 

Amanda Armstrong  7:48  
But let's say you're on the verge of a panic attack. Your system is highly mobilized. And if you try to do an extended exhale breath when you are in a highly activated state, what oftentimes happens is this will backfire. Your nervous system essentially says you don't get it. You don't get it. We cannot force the brakes right now. We need to go. We need to move. We need to fight. We need to flee. 

Amanda Armstrong  8:11  
Now, take the same tool, but a different state. Let's say you're in a shutdown state. Here. Your breath is slow, but it's also still shallow. We are feeling immobilized. We are feeling really low. An extended exhale, breath here actually could exacerbate that state of shutdown. It could downshift your system even more. So this is why so many people get discouraged when they're first trying to build out their regulation toolkit, because they try something that worked for somebody else, or it worked for them once, and then it doesn't work again, and then they assume that they're the problem. But the truth is that our nervous system is incredibly intelligent. Each of these states serves a purpose, and each state responds to a different kind of input. And when you understand this, you can stop fighting against your nervous system and start working with it with more choice, with more context. And I want to reiterate that we do not need to pathologize these states. Activation isn't bad, shutdown isn't bad, freeze isn't bad. Each and every one of these are normal, adaptive responses that your nervous system has learned to keep you safe. You've heard me say often on this podcast, we operate through this framework that all of your symptoms make sense, every single one given your past lived experience and your current life circumstances and problems only come up when we get stuck in a particular state chronically, or when we don't have the tools to navigate between states with some flexibility. 

Amanda Armstrong  9:55  
So that is kind of the overarching context that's going to come in a lot through today's. Episode, but also this series. So let's break down these four states that I've mentioned in a little bit more detail, remembering that each is going to get their entire own episode and talk about what makes them unique, starting with a state of activation. So when you are in activation, your sympathetic nervous system is online. Physiologically, your heart rate increases, your breath becomes shallow and rapid. Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline are flowing. Your muscles often feel tense or jittery. Maybe your jaw is tight. The functioning of your digestive system changes. This is oftentimes why people who struggle with anxiety also have food sensitivities or IBS, because when your system is in survival mode, it prioritizes immediate survival functions over long term functions like properly digesting your food and then psychologically, this might show up as racing thoughts, feeling overwhelmed, bouncing legs, sweating, anxiety, irritability, or that feeling that you just need to do. I gotta do something. I gotta do something. I gotta do something, even if I don't know exactly what it is I need to do. In this state, you might feel like you are constantly scanning for problems or threats, and it can be really hard to focus, especially on a more like detail oriented task. 

Amanda Armstrong  11:27  
In an activated state, your nervous system responds well to tools that help you discharge that activation energy first, a stress response has been initiated in our body. When we are in an activated state, we have detected some kind of stressor or overwhelm, adrenaline, cortisol, have been put into our system. Our system is ready to mobilize. What we need to do is not try to force regulation, but first to help our body metabolize discharge complete this initiated stress response so that we can more naturally return back to a state of regulation. And if that's not making a whole lot of sense again, next week's episode is going to expand on this in more detail, but just know that in this state, starting with things like movement or shaking practices that give your system something to focus on, a way to metabolize some of this extra energy and mobilization in your system, and then layering in tools that help you to gradually slow down. We're not trying to slam on the brakes. We are trying to give that energy somewhere else to go next. 

Amanda Armstrong  12:38  
Let's talk about the Freeze State. And this happens when your system gets caught in between activation and shutdown. It's like having one foot on the gas and another on the brake at the same time. So physiologically, you might notice that your breathing becomes restricted, your muscles feel tight, but also stuck. A lot of our clients express a sense of being kind of trapped in your own body when they're in a free state and then psychologically freeze often shows up as contradictory feelings, feeling paralyzed, stuck like you know what you need to do, but you literally cannot make yourself go do it, this internal sense of, I have to right now. I have to right now. I have to right now, but I'm so exhausted that I can't you're feeling anxious, but overwhelmed and tired. Your mind is racing, but your body won't move, and there is oftentimes a lot of internal tension and self criticism when you're in freeze. And some of the tools that work best for freeze are usually about creating gentle movement, right? Because we're stuck in physical immobilization, even though internally, we often feel a lot of urgency in racing. So tools that help you create gentle movement while helping your system to remember that it has choice, that it can start small, we want to think about kind of thawing out this freeze state that stuck energy without adding more overwhelm to the system. Because it's overwhelm that took you from that mobilized activated state, usually into this freeze state in the first place. 

Amanda Armstrong  14:16  
And then the third state we'll talk about is your shutdown state. So this is when, again, you're in that dorsal vagal system, this is our body's most primitive survival response. Essentially, it is playing dead or conserving any and all resources for survival. When we're in this state, physiologically, your heart rate and your breath rate slow way, way down, your digestion pretty much stops, and your immune system gets incredibly suppressed and then psychologically shut down. Often is experienced as this disconnection, just feeling like everything is pointless or it's too hard. Maybe there's a sense of numbness or brain fog. Sometimes people explain. It like they are watching their life from the outside, kind of dissociation, depersonalization, or like you're just moving through a thick fog. Depression often has a lot of shutdown mixed into it, and when we find ourselves in a shutdown state, we need tools that gently bring energy to our system, with the emphasis on gently, this state has two primary goals to immobilize for the purpose of conserving energy, because it has been overwhelmed to the point of shutdown. It basically says the stressors in our life are overwhelming. They're too big. They've lasted too long. We can escape. So we are going to immobilize, conserve any left resources so that if it looks like escape could be possible in the future, we'll have some reserve. So immobilize, for the sake of conserving energy and to disconnect, to prevent you from experiencing any further harm that could be physical, mental, emotional harm, and so when coming out of a shutdown state, we need really gentle tools to work with this overwhelmed nervous system state that help us to slowly mobilize and reconnect, either to ourselves, our environment, to others. 

Amanda Armstrong  16:19  
Then the last state we're going to talk about is we're about is regulation, specifically how to savor or deepen into regulation. This is our body's rest and digest. It's our connected our social engagement state when we are here. Physiologically, our heart rate is steady, our breathing is deep and natural. Our digestion is working well. Our immune system is operating optimally. Psychologically, this is when we feel present, connected, curious. We're able to handle challenges without, kind of getting knocked out of balance, without feeling overwhelmed by those challenges. It's in the state that you feel like yourself, you're able to access creativity and play connect with others, and when we are savoring regulation, the tools are more about maintaining and deepening the state. Things like a gratitude practice, learning how to just be in your body and feel what it feels like to not be so activated or shut down, engaging in creativity or play gentle movement connection with others. 

Amanda Armstrong  17:30  
So here is the key thing to understand. Most of us don't just live in one state all the time. You might wake up in a state of shutdown and then have something really activating for your system, where you might feel a couple hours of anxiety, then get stuck in freeze after work when you're overwhelmed and exhausted, maybe you have a good dinner with a friend, and you find your way back to regulation. The goal is not to never leave regulation. It is to develop the capacity and the flexibility to have tools and resources and context for any state that we find ourselves in. 

Amanda Armstrong  18:03  
Now let's take the next handful of minutes to talk about reactive regulation versus reactive resourcing, because this distinction, while it might feel like splitting hairs can be what makes the difference between knowing which tool to reach for in that moment is going to be the most helpful. These tools are something that are often used interchangeably regulation and resourcing. But if I have, again, have to get into the granular here's how I think about them. Reactive resourcing is when you make the choice to stay with or lean into the experience that you're having. So when you are resourcing, you first acknowledge, yeah, I'm really activated right now. That probably makes sense given the context of x, y or z or I am in a shutdown state right now. And then you ask yourself, What can I do to resource or support myself in this state? 

Amanda Armstrong  19:00  
For example, the other day, I was coming off of a few pretty crappy night sleep. I had a very, very, very long list of things to do.I was just getting over being sick. I woke up immediately. Was like, I'm in the red zone, or at least very, very close to it. I am feeling exhausted, I'm feeling disconnected. I'm feeling like nothing I'm going to do today. Matt today matters, and my goal was not to get to the Green Zone, actually, probably at all really that day, I had moments of it, for sure, but it was, hey, I'm feeling really shut down right now. And if I pause for a moment, given the context that makes sense. I'm very lowly resourced right now. So what can I do to just allow myself to be in and fuel kind of these needs, for immobilization, for some disconnection, to not actually immediately today, put pressure on my system to be somewhere different. Yeah. And so what that looked like as I moved throughout my day was I looked at my to do list, and I was like, here's the one thing that matters most. And I skipped my morning walk and instead chose to just kind of walk around my garden and sat on my porch. And so that would be an example of resourcing. Hey, I'm here. I'm going to lean in and support my system here versus reactive regulation, which is where you think. What can I try to do right now to shift to a less intense version of this state or back into a more regulated state? What tools or practices can help me change course, that can shift and impact my physiology, mostly to be different. 

Amanda Armstrong  20:45  
So like we talked about that extended exhale breathing, we are tangibly trying to shift what's happening inside our body, our physiological state. We are trying to use and pull on this lever of our respiratory system to shift on our body's relaxation response, to change our heart rate. And both of these, resourcing and regulation are incredibly valuable, but they serve different purposes. Let me share one more example of the difference between this so let's say that you're feeling pretty activated, really energized, before a big presentation, but this presentation involves getting on a stage and being really animated, being really engaged. You don't actually want to feel really calm, cool and collected walking out onto that stage. You want to have some of this fire, some of this energy. So you might decide to shift into something that's more resourcing, so acknowledging that there's the activation and then doing some practices to help you feel supported within that energy. Because especially if you struggle with anxiety, it's a fine line between I feel energized and I feel anxious, and so resourcing might help you stay on the energized side of that line without trying to force your system into a calm state that isn't actually what you need for this. So you might choose to do a little bit of shaking, a little bit discharging some heel drops, while also telling yourself, like, let's go. This is awesome. This is exciting. Versus reactive regulation for a similar situation, maybe this is a presentation where you don't need to be high energy, where you need to be more steady and focused and calm, and this extra energy or anxiety in your system is not super helpful. It's more distracting from the way that you want and the energy that you want to bring into this presentation. So you might decide I need to go for a walk. I need to do some vision therapy drills. I need to do some breathing techniques to shift my physiology to a calmer state, to not tell my body that we're fine, because your body doesn't speak a logical language. You can tell yourself it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. Before presentation, all you want, and you probably are not going to feel any more fine. We need to show our nervous system through breath, through changing the way that our vision field is oriented, through moving through orienting to our environment that hey, it's a presentation, not a tiger. Here are some signals of safety to help you down regulate so that you can bring that into what comes next. And neither approach is right or wrong. It depends on what you need in that moment. Sometimes you need to shift the state because the intensity or the timing isn't right for where you are, and sometimes you need to practice being with uncomfortable sensations, because that also builds your capacity for them over time, so that they're less overwhelming for you over time. And in that regard, reactive resourcing is particularly powerful because it teaches your nervous system that you can handle difficult emotions and sensations, because you're not trying to constantly run from or escape them. 

Amanda Armstrong  23:48  
Resourcing is often when you get to practice staying with activation, or staying with sadness or fear or grief, and learning how you can support yourself in it and through it, you are literally building and increasing your window of tolerance. You're showing your system, hey, we can be with this and we're going to be okay. We can be okay even here. And then reactive regulation, like we've talked about, has its place too. Sometimes you're activated at 2am and you need to sleep. Sometimes you're shut down, but you have kids that you have to take care of. Sometimes you're in a free state, but you have a hard work deadline, and so it's in these moments that having the tools to help you shift your state can be so, so invaluable in changing the way that we show up in our lives and the capacity that we have. The key is to have both options available to you and to be able to choose consciously, rather than just reacting automatically throughout our lives. 

Amanda Armstrong  24:46  
And here's a point that I want to reiterate and be really clear about, these reactive tools, whether regulation or resourcing, they are temporary support systems. They are like safety nets that help you bridge the gap because. Between stress and regulation. They work with your body's natural regulation system, and they can support you to be with your emotions, not just minimize them, but they are not, not, not, not what often provides the long term healing that you're seeking. They are not designed to be a way to bypass your feelings, to ignore your body signals long term. For example, when you're tense or angry, you might do a tense and release practice to take the edge off so that you can respond more intentionally in the moment. But this does not eliminate the need to explore why that thing made you so angry in the first place, why this thing is consistently triggering, why your life always feels overwhelming. So we need the in the moment, tools. But if you want to not have to just Band Aid all day, every day with these tools, there needs to be some element of reflection, some deeper work. 

Amanda Armstrong  25:58  
So let's zoom out to the bigger picture, because this is really important. When people first come to me, what they're often asking is like, teach me the tools so I don't have to feel so much anxiety, or I want techniques that are going to help me make the depression go away, help me to get out of bed in the morning and I get it. We all want as immediate relief as possible when we're suffering, because we're human, but the goal is not less signaling from your brain and body. I am not here to offer tools to minimize or ignore your symptoms that are actually really important messages from your brain and body, your anxiety, your depression, your nervous system responses. It's all information. They are your body's way of telling you something important about your life, your relationships, your environment, your unresolved experiences from your past. And the end goal is to understand the underlying causes of the what might have become chronic activation or shutdown in your nervous system to heal it at that level. And then, as a natural result of doing that work, there is less for your system to be alarmed or shut down about. 

Amanda Armstrong  27:05  
And some examples of what this deeper work might look like. It's again, it's exploring your patterns, understanding your triggers, healing old wounds, making changes to your lifestyle that support your nervous system, health, your physiological well being, your biological system. It might mean setting boundaries in relationships, creating environments that are more safe for your nervous system. It looks like a lot of that deeper internal work, but also some tangible environmental behavioral relational changes in your everyday life. And where reactive and proactive come in to work together is that this deeper work, it often takes time, it takes time, and so these reactive tools give you something to reach for in the moment that help give you more capacity for that deeper work, but also some immediate relief. They can take the edge off the frustration or the anxiety or this. I don't know what to do when I'm here. These reactive tools act as an invitation to start having a dialog with yourself, with your nervous system, to notice how it shifts in response to a particular tool, or not cultivating that interceptive awareness is crucial for long term regulation. Sometimes I like to think about these reactive tools as scaffolding. When you are building a house, you need scaffolding to support the structure while you are working on it, but the scaffolding isn't the house. It is temporary support that makes the real work possible, and eventually, when the house is strong enough, you can remove some of the scaffolding that that that that is our approach to healing anxiety and depression through a nervous system lens. The reactive tools are the scaffolding that support you while you are doing the deeper work of building a life and an internal landscape that naturally supports more regulation. And then I look at these tools like, right? I've got a ladder, I've got a step stool in my house, because sometimes there's jobs that that need it, no matter how far in my healing journey, like I said, I've gotten, I sometimes still need to turn, often turn to some variety of these reactive tools. But these tools are not the work. These tools are what support you to be able to do the deeper work for healing. 

Amanda Armstrong  29:29  
So this conversation today, this is the foundation for what we are going to talk about over the next four episodes next week is a deep dive on activation, then freeze, then shut down, then regulation. And with each of these, I will go into more detail around the physiology, the psychology, how you can know and identify what state you're in. That's called nervous system mapping. And then I'm going to give some really specific, tangible tools for Hey, this is something that typically meets your nervous system. System in this state that you can start to experiment and practice with in your life, so that you can with again, more context and choice, find the unique tools that meet you best, meet your nervous system best, so that you can have those in the moments that you need the most. 

Amanda Armstrong  30:15  
Now very, very briefly, before we wrap up, I want you to take a moment and tune in, check in with your nervous system without trying to change anything. Just notice what state your nervous system is in right now, as you've been listening where you are in this part of your day, see if you can identify whether you're feeling activated. Maybe your mind is already spinning with this information or shut down. Maybe you're feeling a little overwhelmed or disconnected somewhere in between, and just know whatever you notice that's perfect, that's information that is your nervous system communicating with you. And my invitation for you this week is, instead of immediately trying to change or fix whatever your state you're in. See if, throughout this week you can just bring a little bit more curiosity to it. See if, one to a few times a day you can tune in and say, What state Am I in? How do I know what's going on in my mind or my body that tells me that I'm in this state? And the simple practice of noticing without immediately trying to fix is actually one of the most powerful tools for nervous system healing. 

Amanda Armstrong  31:27  
All right, let's wrap up with our three takeaways from this episode. 

Amanda Armstrong  31:29  
Number one, your nervous system has different states that have different needs. What works when you're anxious and activated might not be the same as what works when you are shut down or disconnected, and so we need to stop trying to force one approach, one tool to fix everything. 

Amanda Armstrong  31:47  
Number two, you have two choices when you notice yourself in a state of dysregulation, you can stay with it with some resourcing practices, or shift out of it with regulation. 

Amanda Armstrong  32:01  
Number three, these tools are temporary scaffolding, not the permanent solution. They are not the house you are building in your healing journey. The real goal is not to need these techniques every day forever. It is to do the deeper work of healing. What is causing the chronic dysregulation in the first place, and these tools are just here to support us along the way. 

Amanda Armstrong  32:25  
All right, that's it for this week. Thank you for being here as always. I love to hear from you. I actually love it. The DMS, the emails, what is it that resonated with you from a particular episode? What questions do you have? Are you walking away from this with burning questions? Those questions help inform future episodes and future conversations. Because I guarantee if you have it, somebody else has it, and I respond personally to almost every single DM or email that I get, and if I ever don't respond within a timely manner, please just send it again or say, hey, checking in on this sometimes things get lost in those places, but I love hearing from you. I love that you're here. I am so proud of the effort that you're putting towards your healing journey, and until next week, I am sending hope and healing your way. 

Amanda Armstrong  33:12  
Thanks for listening to another episode of The regulate and rewire podcast. If you enjoyed what you heard today, please subscribe and leave a five star review to help us get these powerful tools out to even more people who need them. And if you yourself are looking for more personalized support and applying what you've learned today, consider joining me inside rise my monthly mental health membership and nervous system healing space, or apply for our one on one anxiety and depression coaching program, restore, I've shared a link for more information to both in the show notes, again, thanks so much for being here, and I'll see you next time you.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai