Regulated Activism

When the world feels like it's falling apart, how do we stay connected to ourselves while still showing up for what matters? In this episode, we're talking about collective trauma, what it actually means to be "regulated" (hint: it doesn't mean calm), and the tangible nervous system tools that can help you stay resourced during ongoing crisis. This isn't about fixing everything—it's about staying grounded enough to keep going.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What collective and vicarious trauma actually are, and how your nervous system processes witnessing suffering even through a screen
• Why "regulated" doesn't mean calm—and what regulated activism actually looks like in practice
• The neuroscience behind tools like predictability, warmth, and nostalgia as primitive safety signals for your nervous system
• Why "tangible help kills the helplessness" and how micro-acts of care keep you connected and resourced
• How to practice dialectical thinking: holding both the horror and the helpers at the same time

3 Takeaways:

1. Regulated doesn't mean calm—it means connected. You can be furious, heartbroken, and activated AND still be regulated. Regulation is about staying connected to your body, your breath, and your capacity to respond (not just react) while you feel all the feelings and fight for what matters.
2. Tangible help kills the helplessness. When everything feels too big and overwhelming, do something small and real. Drop off coffee for a neighbor. Text a friend "thinking of you." Bake bread and share it. These micro-acts of care aren't trivial—they're how we stay connected and resourced enough to keep going.
3. Look for the helpers—it's neuroscience, not toxic positivity. Witnessing acts of courage, kindness, and resistance activates your vagus nerve and counters compassion fatigue. Your nervous system needs evidence that while the monster is real, the protector is active too. Practice dialectical thinking: horrifying things are happening AND people are showing up for each other. Both are true.

Resources mentioned:

• CLICK HERE to join my monthly release class. Use the code "REGULATE" for 100% off.
• CLICK HERE to get 10% off my favorite phone boundary support (BRICK)
• Post from @meghanbreentherapy

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• Book a FREE discovery call for RESTORE, our 1:1 anxiety & depression coaching program (HSA/FSA eligible & includes comprehensive bloodwork)
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Transcript

Welcome to Regulate and Rewire, an anxiety and depression podcast where we discuss the things I wish someone would have taught me earlier in my healing journey. I'm your host, Amanda Armstrong, and I'll be sharing my steps, my missteps, client experiences, and tangible research -based tools to help you regulate your nervous system, rewire your mind, and reclaim your life. Thanks for being here. Now let's dive in. 

We're going to jump right into it today, friends. There is a lot of heaviness going on in the world right now, especially here in the United States where I live. But I think so many of us collectively everywhere are feeling, are feeling it right now. In fact, just prepping for this conversation on regulated activism, I have noticed that my jaw has been tight. I've had a little bit of a stress headache that won't seem to quit. My shoulders have been up towards my ears. My glutes have been clenched. And all of these things often tell me that my body is just holding this deep, high stress level. 

1:04

So maybe just as an experiment, I want you right now to check in with you. What's your jaw situation? Can you take a big breath in? Just kind of let that go. Maybe rub the sides of your jaw a little but wear your shoulders and if they're hiked up towards your ears a little bit with your next exhale can you let them go and then my personal favorite to check in with because so often during the day I just find my butt cheeks just clenched and holding bracing for some stressor that may or may not overcome go ahead and check in with your body there too and if you are also bracing big breath in and just exhale release. 

And if you get no further in today's conversation, that is an invitation that I want to offer you to take into this week, that as you're navigating the stressors of the world, the stressors in your everyday life, to just notice when you are bracing.
And maybe you're not even bracing for things that are directly happening to you.
But I think so many of us are tense and bracing for what's going on in the world
right now. And when we don't allow these micro moments of reset, when we don't
allow this felt somatic communication with our nervous system that says, hey, I know, I know the world is big. The world is scary. There's so much happening right now.

But look, right here right now, you don't need to brace for it. Right here right
now, you're safe. You can let go. We are going to tire. We are going to check
out. And I think the powers it be, these media outlets that are throwing these just
devastating headlines at us over and over and over again, I think they want that.
They want you disregulated. They want you worn down to the point of shutdown. 

And for me, showing up in and for humanity, in and for my little life here,
I refuse to give them that. I refuse to put myself in a situation where I feel
helpless for an extended period of time. And so today's conversation is about
regulated activism, is about taking care of yourself enough, understanding what living in the modern day world does enough to give you a choice on how you want to navigate it more intentionally because I think now so more than ever normal life
isn't normal modern life and our technologies have evolved far faster than our
biology has and so regulated living maybe even a hundred years ago happened so much more easily happened so much more naturally without effort.

3:46

There weren't screens in our pockets. We were mostly tuned in to local news.
We were outside more often. Our hands were in the earth. And for many of us,
that's just not our reality on a day to day. And so we need to navigate modern
life with the understanding that it's not what our biology, it's not what our
psychology, what our physiology has been designed for. Now, before I go any further, I really, I want to name what this episode is and what it isn't. So this is not
some hot take on current events. It's not political commentary. This is not me
pretending to have all of the answers or to be doing all of these things right.
This is going to be me acknowledging that somehow you have all given me a platform that I am forever grateful for. This is me acknowledging that I now have a podcast that consistently shows up in the top five when you search terms like anxiety or depression. And what is happening in the world is absolutely having a direct impact on all of our mental health. So this is me showing up for you in a moment when for many of us the world feels heavy. The world feels like it's just falling apart.

And we're not sure if there's anything we can do. So like I said, We are
navigating a world right now where it's not normal. It is not normal to watch
violence unfold from five different angles from a little rectangle light box in your
pocket. And yet here we are. It is not normal to be screamed 50 different
devastating headlines every single week. And yet here we are. It is not normal to
question your child's safety when you leave them at the door of their kindergarten
class, and yet here I am on a semi -regular basis in my life.

5:33

So what do we do? How do we show up as parents, as partners, as humans? How do we try to live meaningful lives when the baseline of our normal has shifted so
dramatically? I don't know. I don't know that I have all the answers. But today and
in these next couple conversations, I'm going to offer you some things that have
been food for thought for me lately. And I want to start by just calling something
out. What we are living through, what we are experiencing is traumatic. This is collective trauma. And for many, many folk, this is individual trauma on
such a massive scale. The fear, the control, the manipulation, the divisiveness, the
death. These are not abstract political concepts, these are very real nervous system activators that are happening on a large scale.

And when I say trauma, I want to clarify, trauma is not just something that happens
to you in childhood or when these really big, bad things happen to you directly.
Trauma or the way that I use this word is what happens anytime your nervous system is overwhelmed beyond its capacity to cope. When you have more coming in than you can process, when you can't metabolize or reset from high levels of activation or shutdown, when the demands of a moment or a day or a week consistently exceed your resources or when just repetitively your sense of self or safety is shattered and it's even more depilitating when we don't see an end in sight and for a lot of you that's what I'm hearing that you're experiencing right now and I want to give you a little bit more context kind of a neuroscience back piece to this if you will so when you witness suffering even through your phone even through a screen your brain processes it similarly to direct threat.

7:54

So something called mirror neurons in your brain, fire, creating this empathetic
response. Your amygdala in your brain activates as if that danger is happening to
you. This is something that we call vicarious trauma, secondary trauma. It is
something that nurses, doctors, firefighters, therapists, like folks in a helping
profession are very, very familiar with. Again, it's a very real thing.
And then we have this happening at a collective level. Entire communities are
witnessing the same events, experiencing the same fears, absorbing the same grief. And this is when it becomes collective trauma. And we're not just individually
overwhelmed. We're now collectively dysregulated. And that dysregulation feeds on itself. You are absorbing the overwhelm from the events themselves and then absorbing the overwhelm from the people around you who are also activated. And this can create a very specific kind of chronic overwhelm and exhaustion because your nervous system cannot maintain the sense of being on high alert indefinitely. Eventually, it will shut down to protect you. Eventually, your overwhelm will become too much. You'll find yourself kind of checking out, having something called compassion fatigue, dissociating. And I want you to know that if lately you've been feeling a little bit more checked out or disconnected or going through cycles where you're just like mad, overwhelmed, angry, furious, shutdown, disconnected, that's a normal cycle.

9:10

You cannot do it all. You will not be able to save everyone and fix all of the
things. So much of what regulated activism means to me is to do what you can,
to do something, to be honest about matching your current capacity with the types of activism that you step into. Something I often say to clients is let's take your ideal, maybe it's your ideal habit, your ideal way of responding in a particular
situation, whatever it is. The rhetoric or a phrase I often say is, let's take your
ideal, let's get clear on what that is, and then let's rub that up against your
reality and see where we land. 

So let's take a simple daily habit like movement. My ideal would be to get to the gym for an hour every single day. My reality is three young kids five and under with very limited child care and working almost full time from home. Me leaving the house is a really big ask right now. So what's the real, what am I trying to accomplish with this ideal of getting to the gym for, you know, an hour a day? I feel better. My foundation is I need to move my body most days of the week intentionally and with strength training in mind.

So I've got a set of weights at home. I take my ideal. My ideal way of moving,
of exercising is to get to the gym for an hour a day. I rub that up against my
reality. It's not going to happen. So if I have in my mind that that's the right
way to exercise, that's the right way to check this box, my reality is going to leave me feeling like I'm falling short, feeling like I'm failing over and over and over again, which is going to demotivate me to do something, right? Habits have to be something is better than nothing. We have to get rid of this all or nothing mentality. So that leaves me to, okay, the goal is to move my body. How do I do that from home more frequently and more intentionally?

11:11

That is what regulated activism is centered on. What is your ideal way to step into
the cause that's the most important for you right now? What is the most ideal way
to be a defender of humanity right now? Okay. Now I need you to look at your
current reality. I need you to rub that ideal up against your current reality. The
goal is to do something, to make a difference in a way that doesn't burn you out.
In a way doesn't over -extend you to the point of falling out of the fight that
matters to you. 

And if you look at your ideal way of stepping into activism right now as the only acceptable way of stepping into activism right now, and if that doesn't match your current life, your current capacity on a regular basis, then you are going to sit there and constantly be feeding your nervous system failure. I'm falling short. I'm not doing enough. And so my invitation for you is to look at your ideal. And then compassionately, lovingly, rub that up against your reality. What is a reasonable risk for you to take? That looked different for me, single and married in my 20s with nobody depending on me but my dog than it does now in my 30s when I have three young kids at home. And that's okay. It's okay that your activism looks different than your friends, than your families than people that you see on social media. 

Your activism right now might be radical self -care to get yourself to the place where you can more intentionally step into things that matter most to you.

12:55

Now Now, before we continue, I want to be really clear about this term regulated,
right? Regulated doesn't mean calm. It doesn't mean unbothered. It doesn't mean
passive. You can be mad and regulated. You can flip tables while being grounded.
You can rage against injustice and still feel connected to your body, to your
breath, to your capacity, to your purpose, to your ability to respond rather than
react. So regulation is about having access to your full range of responses, about
being able to move between activation, this fight, flight that we want right now,
but also rest and safety to maintain this connection to yourself, to your community, even when there's chaos around you. So regulated activism is not
about staying calm when the world burns. It is about doing what you need to do, to stay capacited and connected to, again, your values, your power, your community. So that you can continue to step into the fight for the things that matter. Because this fight is not going to be fast. It's going to be long and drawn out. And in so many different as we are going to be intentionally worn down, pitted against each other, fear -mongered. 

14:13

Self -care is more important than ever. You got to be good with you so that you can step in and care for others. You cannot lift weight that you are not strong enough to hold, just like at the gym, right? So this is an honest call to re -look at your foundations right now.

In the last few weeks, I have lost sleep, partly because we've been frozen in and
I've been had a lot of snow days with my kids, but I have not moved my body in
the way that I know I need to to be at my best. I've been a little disconnected
from my community because I've been swirling in the chaos. That is six consecutive snow days. 

But take a moment right now. How do your foundations look? Are you sleeping well enough, nourishing well enough, moving well enough, connecting,
relationally well enough. Those are things that matter to keep you resourced. And
what I want to share with you now are a couple suggestions that really, really
resonated with me from a post, from a therapist named Megan Breen, and I'm going to link that post directly in the show notes about ways that we can take care of our nervous systems right now so that we can continue to step in for the causes that matter most to us. And a lot of what I'm about to share is directly from that
post. So a lot of these words are not mine. And I want to make that clear. And I
will point you to that direct resource in the show notes. But it resonated enough
that I was like, I've got to share this. I've got to share this. 

15:44

So number one is to recognize that not everything is urgent. If you are everywhere, all the time, you are nowhere any of the time. This seems so overly simple, but friends throughout the day, look at your feet, slow down, notice the water running over your hands while you're doing your dishes. Breathe. These micro moments of presence are how we signal safety to our nervous system. 

Hey, right here, right now, regardless of what's happening in the world, like, I'm okay. I'm resourced. And I think the most important part of this friend, get your phone out of your hand. When all of it is in front of your face, all of the time, it is impossible for everything to not feel urgent. I shared recently, I bought this little device called a brick to help me manage my doom scrolling time. I'll drop a link in the show notes if you're curious about that as well, but it has been wonderfully helpful. 

Number two is to protect your predictability. When life feels wildly unpredictable, your brain is starving for predictability for habits, for routines that are consistent, but also check into the media that you're consuming. Can you watch some really feel good predictable rewatches? Can you allow yourself to not have that tension of like, what's going to happen, what's going to happen? You know what's going to happen. So your body can relax and just enjoy. When the world feels chaotic, your brain craves this like closed feedback loop. Predictability is what allows your amygdala to stand down. So how can you protect your predictability? 

Number three is to look for the helpers. This is something I'm going to talk a lot more about next week but we need to find a way to hold the both and. So whenever I see footage of something awful happening around the world or in my community, I also ask myself, what else do you see? What else is true right now? Do you also see the neighbors, the parents, the friends who are standing up for the right thing, who are supporting those in need? Can I show my nervous system that while the threat is real, while that monster is big, so are the protectors. They are real and they're at work finding the both 

and number four is to go where it is warm warmth is primitive it is a one of our most primitive safety signals think sitting around a campfire it's the first thing that we feel in the womb when you're hitting moments of overwhelm or even just making this a part of your daily routine right now how can you go where it's warm warm shower warm bath warm drinks, fuzzy socks to again signal to our nervous system. Hey, this is a moment. This is an environment of safety because there's warmth. 

Number five, I think. Five is that the little resets matter. How can you keep it small? Micro moments of right here right now. Look at those little hands. Listen to those little voices chatting in the car. Play the Legos. Notice the sunset. Watch birds flying. enjoy your cup of tea. Find the small micro moments of joy in your everyday life or work to create them. Smiling, laughing, sharing good news. These are some of our greatest energy resources right now. And focusing on the smallness of these moments keeps you open -hearted and pulls your nervous system out of this chronic sense of existential dread and back into tactile, immediate safety or okayness cues. 

And the other thing is to use nostalgia as an anchor. Can you listen to old music that evokes memories and emotions that are different than the ones you're feeling right now? So this can expand your scope of reality beyond this horrifying moment. And nostalgia is not just like memory. It is an active regulator. So this is something that we often call like autobiographical anchoring. It reminds your brain that things are temporary and they change. It also connects your current overwhelmed self to a person who has survived every other hard thing that you have gone through. 

19:14

What are the things that you can do to care for yourself? regulated activism means that you need to be able to access more regulation, more grounding, more safety, more anchoring in the chaos. And next week we are going to talk in more detail about how being a helper, looking for helpers, the tangible things that we can do help to fight off this sense of helplessness. And one of the things that I ask myself is, what can I do for my community right now? And again, I'm in my community doing small things, taking the groceries to the neighbor, baking an extra loaf of bread, showing up for marginalized folk in my immediate community. But I also asked myself, what can I offer this community here? What is something that we all need that's within my capacity to offer? And immediately my brain was like, we all just need need a moment to be together. We need moments of guided co -regulation, a moment of guided exhale. 

20:56

And so for those of you who don't know, I teach a monthly 60 -minute virtual somatic regulation class. They call it my release class. And it's an opportunity to just gently process storage stress to reconnect to your body through breath, gentle movement, different research -supported nervous system regulation practices. And it's usually $17. And what I have decided to do for this
full calendar year is if you use the code regulate at checkout,
this class is free. Join me, join others once a month for an hour for a guided
moment of pause of regulation to check in and offer some somatic felt safety cues. And I will have details for this in the show notes. And then for anybody for the full year who chooses to pay the $17 fee, I will take all of that every few
months and donate that to a cause of my community's choosing.
So if you are needing a space, regardless of your financial resources, to learn some regulation tools, to be guided through them, to be held in community that is calm and holding and anchoring. 

Please join me. Please, please join me for my monthly release class. Again, $17 if you can, and that'll be treated like a donation. Or use the code regulate and join me completely for free. 

All right, friends.

22:32

That's it for today. I'm going to wrap this up with our three tangible takeaways.

Number one is a reminder that regulated doesn't mean calm. It means connected to each other, to your personal resources. You can be furious and heartbroken and
activated and still have a foothold in regulation. Still have the ability to stay
connected to your body, to your breath, and to your purpose. 

Number two is that the tangible small things we can do helps to mitigate the helplessness. Again, so much more on that next week as well as 

the third point. I still wanted to reiterate today, which is to look for the helpers. Look for the helpers. Horrifying things are happening and people are showing up for each other. Both are true. 

Okay. Take deep breaths. Take deep breath. If something in this conversation today resonated with you, I would love to hear from you. I would love for you to share it. 

And if you want to go deeper, there are two ways that I support folks. 

Number one is inside the regulated living membership. And that opens for enrollment in just a few weeks. If you want, I'm going to be sharing a ton about that on my Instagram.

23:41

You can join me there or my newsletter if you want to learn more about what the
regulated living membership is, if it's the right fit for you. 

And if you are feeling ready or in need of more personalized support, if you need somebody to help you understand your specific nervous system patterns, work through your unique trauma responses, or to create a roadmap to regulation that actually rubs up against your reality and your real life right now, Restore is our one -on -one coaching program that does that. 

So Again, drop links in the show notes. My website has a lot more information. I'm always open for questions, but friends, we need, we oftentimes need a little more support in order to offer more support. And if this feels like a place you want to get that, I'm always here. All right.

24:29:

Until next week, I'm sending so much hope and healing your way. Thanks for listening to another episode of the Regulate and Rewire podcast. If you enjoyed what you heard today, please subscribe and leave a five -star review to help us get these powerful tools out to even more people who need them. And if you yourself are looking for more personalized support in applying what you've learned today, consider joining me Inside Rise, my monthly mental health membership and nervous system healing space, or apply for our one -on -one anxiety and depression coaching program, Restore. I've shared a link for more information to both in the show notes. 

Again, thanks so much for being here, and I'll see you next time.