For this episode, we have Angela Jensen Ramirez, a certified sex therapist and a certified emotionally focused couple’s therapist. We will be talking about purity culture because there’s a lot of apprehension around sex when people have come from such a culture.
We wanted to talk more about this after we received a message from Nina, a 37-year-old woman, who said that she continues to have guilt after having sex with her long-term partner. She added that she has pain with sex and that she grew up in a very religious community where purity culture was very dominant.
I came from purity culture, and it took a lot to undo the mindset that comes with it. There are so many things that can be done to help people coming from such culture so they can have enjoyable sex! Please give this episode a listen so we can help you, too, if you are having these problems.
Let’s talk about:
00:36 – Introduction for today’s guest
00:53 – Initial take on sex and purity culture
03:16 – Introduction to the topic
04:03 – The most common side effects of purity culture that Angela sees
05:12 – The most common examples of purity culture that Angela saw and how they worked to shed the concept
06:18 – How I shifted my perspective on sex and purity culture and Angela’s take on the process I did
08:07 – The problem in our sexuality and anatomy being taught in a non-objective way
09:48 – The effects of growing up and believing that your anatomy is not something to be cherished
12:14 – What I’ve seen in pelvic floor rehabs when using dilators as an effect of purity culture
13:17 – What will Angela tell and do to people having difficulties doing rehab activities
17:30 – Purity culture in mainstream
18:30– One essential thing that is needed in sexual pleasure, eroticism, companionship, and different aspects of life that are viewed negatively
20:41– How people often forget that their sexuality and sexual experience should be their priority
22:38– Different factors can contribute to pain with sex
23:10 – The importance of communication during sexual and intimate times
25:59– What we’re taught about how relationship and marriage should be in terms of sexuality and intimacy, and how does Angela reframe this with her clients
29:25 – Discussion on consent, reframe mindset adjustment, and owning your individuality
33:36 – More on our assessment for Nina’s problem
46:03 – How anxiety, nervousness and tightness in your body mirrors excitement and anticipation physically and how can this help you better understand your body
49:22 – A great exercise you can do daily to be in tune with what’s going on in your body
50:30 – Angela’s advice to people struggling with their negative narratives and how they can start to change it
53:36 – Conclusion
If you want to connect with Angela, check her website here - Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist | Anew Therapy | Austin.
If you have any other questions or topics you want to talk about, send me a message on Instagram. And if you loved this episode, please leave me a rating and some comments. Please share this with your friends and loved ones, too!
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I’ll see you in two weeks!