A Little Alignment
In "A Little Alignment," we pour our hearts into conscious conversations about the things we love to geek out about -- psychology, philosophy, optimal health, art, science, mysticism, spirituality, success, relationships and more.
We live for those priceless "aha" moments that have the potential to awaken creativity and curiosity, and remind you of your beauty, power, and presence.
Our intention is to help you realign with your most whole and exceptional self.
Tune in as we navigate the beautiful path to self-discovery together. 🎙️🥂
A Little Alignment
Wellness Series Pt. 2 | Crafting a Healthy Mindset
On today's episode, we are taking you along as we uncover the transformative potential of neuroplasticity and how, with dedication and conscious effort, anyone can reprogram their mind for the better. We share personal stories and insights with the hope of lighting the way for you to expand your mindset, fostering growth in every facet of life, making each moment richer and each connection deeper.
What really helped me change was fully understanding and accepting that I actually do have the power to change what's going on in my mind. The neuroplasticity is a real thing, and learning how it works is everything, so that's actually the first thing that we wanted to dive into or to highlight today is just becoming conscious of your thoughts and your ability to change them.
Speaker 2:Welcome to A Little Alignment. If you enjoy what you hear today, if you gain some value from our episode, please leave us a good rating and review at the end. Every single review counts. It really does make a difference. We would appreciate it with all our hearts. We're so glad you all are here with us, helping us create a little more alignment in the world.
Speaker 1:Okay, so today is part two of our wellness series. It's funny because I was thinking I'm really excited to talk about this one, but I'm also really excited to talk about the next couple that we're going to talk about too.
Speaker 1:This one, I think holds a special place in my heart because I've really focused on mindset a lot. That's what we're talking about today is cultivating a healthy mind. This is what I feel. It really changes how my body is working when we talk about wellness. I feel like there's just no way to talk about wellness without talking about the mind. It's so exciting, I think too, because it's just so interesting and fascinating to me. Yeah, I'm excited to dive into it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, me too, especially because I think we sometimes demonize the mind because we have, in a very real way, become obsessed with the mind and the logical as a society. In so doing, we've lost touch with the less logical, the more emotional, the unseen all that In an attempt to reclaim that side of things. Sometimes I hear and witness even myself demonizing the mind. Yeah, that's so true. I'm excited to dive into this too, to just say hello again to my mind and reestablish a healthy relationship and realize that we're all on the same team here Body, mind, spirit. We're all a part of the whole. That is Kendra. We're all a part of the whole. That is Lorne. We're all a part of the whole. That is you, and all a part of the whole. That is the one, the everything. I'm also very excited to dive into this.
Speaker 1:You have such a good point there when you talk about demonizing the mind because I've definitely done that too where it can be really frustrating to be in your mind if you don't have a healthy set of tools to help you or I should just say, a good set of tools to help you have a healthy mind, because, oh my God, I'm so good at overthinking.
Speaker 1:I've struggled with anxiety. Those are really challenging things to navigate in your mind. Yeah, there's been times where I'm just like, oh, I don't want to be in my head, this is the sucks, or whatever. I've totally demonized it too. What's crazy is that just really is such an indicator that we've got to change some stuff and learning and getting the tools, I think, is what has been such a game changer, because then you can start to realize that you're more of the observer than you think you are and you don't have to get taken by the mind when you do become more conscious of what's healthy and what you want to shift in order to feel different. So that's why I think it's also fascinating.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, it's awareness and, yes, instead of just wanting to like run away from something that you don't understand and like, oh, the mind is just bad because the mind can be so stressful. Like you said, the mind is where you have the thoughts which can turn into the spiraling, which can turn into the anxiety attack and whatnot, and so it's. You know, the temptation is real to be like, oh, the mind is just a bad place. But when we can understand the mind better, then we can work with this amazing I mean, it's a gorgeous, complex computer that is also flexible, that we can change right, we can, we have neuroplasticity and we can and we'll dive into all of that, I'm sure, but it's definitely a tool in and of itself.
Speaker 2:It's a powerful tool and when we learn it, then we can learn how to harness it better, instead of just, you know, be ruled by it, because you either. If you're obsessed with thoughts and you can't get out of your thoughts, then you're ruled by the mind. If you don't want to look at your thoughts and you want to demonize the mind, you're still also ruled by the mind, right? So the only way out of this is to become acquainted with it and, like I said, to harness it and understand it better.
Speaker 1:Right, and I think what you just said is so key and what really helped me change was fully understanding and accepting that I actually do have the power to change what's going on in my mind, like the neuroplasticity is a real thing and learning how it works is everything. So that's actually the first thing that we wanted to dive into or to highlight today is just becoming conscious of your thoughts and your ability to change them. And I think, if I look, or if I think back to, like Lauren, I don't know 10, 15 years ago, she just assumed that what she was thinking was it just is what it is.
Speaker 1:And I'm thinking these things for a reason and I was getting more taken for a ride by my thoughts than me taking ownership of the quality of thoughts that I was having and realizing that it's a pattern and I can change it, and so that's step one is just opening up awareness that, like hey, I actually I'm not my thoughts, and if I don't love the way I'm feeling, I can go to reflect upon my thoughts and actually choose differently and it it really comes back to, like you were saying, like reprogramming, because it all comes down to a set of habits and but our brain is really like sucking tons of energy out of us every day, and so it's always looking for ways to be as energy efficient as possible, and the more energy efficient thing to do is to go into that pattern so that your neuro pathways are literally firing in the same exact way every time you're introduced to some sort of like stimulus.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Another element here to that plays into this. Efficiency is also survival, right Like? The brain's job is to keep us alive, and it's not a great job. I mean, we've made it Well here. Look how long we've been alive as humans, right Like we're doing a good job, pretty good job. But because of that, there's there's a lot of mechanisms and things in place that you know for, like, for example, the unknown is like it's. It's associated with fear, like our mind see that as scary because it's unknown, right so that we have no idea how much energy it would take to go over there. We don't have any idea what that would look like, and it's very possible that it could kill us, right? Um, anyway, that's all just to say that there's. There's a lot of play here as well that's purely based in animalistic survival, which is why we have it, why it's wants to be energy efficient and also why it wants to protect us from the unknown.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and then once you realize, hey, maybe like my fear of you know, I don't know, I'm going to say people have like irrational fears that run through their mind every single day, but it actually does hold them back to some degree, right, like there's like one of the most common is a fear of judgment. Right, if you have a fear of judgment, it might hold you back from taking action in a certain way, towards doing something that might really excite you or really be useful to other people, but if you have this idea that, oh my God, someone's going to judge me, therefore I can't do it. Whatever it is, however, is one way that's possible. Individuals are going to judge us by themselves. You're gonna be stuck right, and it's gonna control the way that you navigate everything. So then if you notice, okay, I'm allowing fear to stop me from doing this, I can't actually choose different.
Speaker 1:That's where you're gonna have to come up against the programming, because the thoughts of fear are going to come up over and over and over again, because it's a well-worn neuropathway. You have to actively choose different, and I think this is where a lot of people can get frustrated too, because it's, let's say, you decided, okay, I'm jumping all in. I'm gonna start a podcast and as you take action, you start to like put together the topics you're gonna talk about. You start to brainstorm the different things. There's gonna be the thought oh my God, is this good enough? Or somebody gonna judge when I say this, or are they gonna think I'm stupid if I share this one experience? And so you're going to come up against that thought over and over and over, and it's about changing that thought over and over and over again too, which can be really tedious, and then, quite honestly, just annoying, yeah, and in a way you're working against your brain because your brain does not want change.
Speaker 2:In fact, you get a little reward, little like reward hormones that release when you go back into old patterns. Because your brain wants yeah, and it wants to be efficient and it takes more energy to change, like literally think about, like the neuropathways, and how they're shifting and changing and that can be discouraging, but also, again, once you know what's going on, like it's not always going to be difficult, like it is at the beginning, to change.
Speaker 2:And there's a reason why it's like ah, there's like a comfort, a very real comfort, like a physiological experience of comfort as well, when you fall back into old patterns, because that's your brain being like no, we gotta survive, we gotta live. We don't know what's over there. We also. This is how we've been doing it, and the way that I've come to see neuropathways is like you know, when you go on a hike and there's a well-worn trail, right, you know exactly where to go. You don't have to think about it. You know it's safe. People have been here. You know it's way easier to trust and it takes way less energy If you go to the same walking trail every day and you start to forge a new trail. You know, I mean.
Speaker 1:You're gonna run into bushes and stickers and thorns and it's gonna be a little and it's gonna be a little intimidating, it's gonna be, scary.
Speaker 2:It's gonna be more work. You might have to cut down some branches, you might. But if you come back the next day you're not gonna see it quite as clearly, right? But it's also not gonna totally disappear just from deciding to go down the easy path once or twice right.
Speaker 2:So it's a similar situation with the neuropathways, like the more you choose to do different, the more well-worn that new pathway becomes the more clear it becomes, the more safe it becomes, the more easy it becomes, and it is I mean, it really truly is just another process that also doesn't diminish, like if you find yourself oh I didn't go, I went down that path for a week straight and now I'm going down the easier path, but you go back the next day, that path is still gonna be there. You'll be able to still see where you've been walking down that path. So, even if and when you likely fall back into what is more comfortable and more easy still, that is part of the process of developing a new neuropathway, so don't let that discourage you. Just like oh, this is part of it and it's still there and it gets easier and easier.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean it's literally you're building new tissue in your brain. So like whenever you fall and scrape your knee, you're gonna build a scab and then it's gonna take some time to heal and then fall off and all that kind of stuff. Or if you're building muscle, yeah. So like you have to think about the fact that it's like you're trying to change this habit and we expect to see change faster than you know. Like everything else, we want Instant gratification, but with this it's gonna take a little longer, the same way it takes us to build tissue in every other part of our body. So be patient with it. But I mean this is literally the practice makes perfect.
Speaker 2:Practice makes permanent. Yeah, I love that phrase.
Speaker 1:That's where this comes. I mean, this is literally what this is. So all of that to say it's possible to change and you can apply this to anything I mean this is literally what I used when I was on a really intense self-love journey is I had stories and thoughts and habits, ways of thinking, that were telling me a story that I wasn't good enough and I, you know, couldn't love this or that or the other thing about me. But I spent really intentional time stopping myself whenever those thoughts came up and changing them. And so I mean for me, with this particular thing, I saw pretty drastic change within like two solid weeks and I just wasn't going through the loop of shit talking that I was doing before. So it just shows like I was able to start programming a different habit that was so much more loving, just based on the thoughts that I was having and making sure that they were different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you know, just like it's fun that we come from that. We just talked about physical health and physical changing. We're coming into the mind and mindset and changing your mindset. It's super similar, like we are genetically predisposed to be one way physically. But also research is showing us that some people are genetically they're more likely to be positive, like it's easier for them to have a positive mindset than other people.
Speaker 1:Interesting.
Speaker 2:Right. So it might be easier, more intuitive, for someone to be positive. I've always been a pretty positive person Same and so I'm like I just have kind of always been. There's still things like confidence and the way that I see myself. That is a narrow pathway that I've had to develop right, but when it comes to positive mindset and positive thinking, that's always come pretty naturally to me.
Speaker 2:Where I have met people where it's not and that is provably true that we, it's for some people it is more natural genetically than others. But I also wasn't born with abs. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I had to work for those. I wasn't necessarily genetically predisposed to just walking around with abs all the time. Some people are, and it's the same thing with our minds, like you really do. What we're trying to say here and do here is help you to feel empowered to change. Change is definitely possible and it's seriously as simple not necessarily easy again simple as choosing over and over and over again. Like you just said, practice makes perfect, slash permanent, and you have the power to do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, these thoughts are the drivers of the ship. They're the ones steering the ship, I should say, and that's why I feel like this is a really good place to start, because your body is always taking the lead from what your thoughts are telling you is possible. So you got to start at the root, with the thoughts, and so just opening up awareness is so important and, I think, a really good tool for awareness at least it was for me as journaling, because there's something about seeing those thoughts written out on paper that makes you like whoa, I can't believe I actually thought that or felt that. So it kind of gives you a new perspective or way of looking at something that can really, like, shed some light on something that you didn't know was there, potentially right?
Speaker 2:Oh, for sure, I'm talking to people too, I think does that? Hearing yourself say something like knowing that someone else is hearing you say something, I'm like, oh wait, hold on. Do I really believe that? Is that really true? You know, there's something that goes off, like it goes out of my mouth, from my brain, out of my mouth, back into my ear, and suddenly I'm like wait a second, that now that I'm hearing myself say that, it's more clear to me. Yeah or I understand it, on a different level of awareness, you know.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm and, yeah, you're right, I love that that we've moved into this. Okay, we can change. So now what's? What are the steps we can take? And for sure, I think you said you open to this episode talking about awareness of your thoughts being the first step right to just understand what it is that you're thinking. And Journaling is great, like we said, talking about it to someone else is great. And also just Recognizing when you're saying, like, what is the phrase? Worrying is praying for something you don't want.
Speaker 2:Yeah so notice the things you worry about are the things that you continually say to yourself or you're constantly thinking about. Are they aligned with what you truly want? Mm-hmm and how you truly want your life to be. Such a good question to ask yourself yeah, so what else? What's another thing that we can do to Cultivate a healthy mindset once we're aware of our thoughts, now how do we shift those?
Speaker 1:The next thing that comes to mind, for me more than anything, is just creating space. I Think that, especially as an overthinker Not as much of an overthinker, but I definitely can be but you've changed those narrow pathways.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I can tell when I haven't created enough space for myself, because the overthinking is easier. So what do you mean by that? So what I mean by that is slowing down the thoughts and giving myself space to just be. This can be through meditation, again like reflection within journaling. I even feel like creating space happens when I work out because instead of thinking a bunch of thoughts, I'm focusing on a particular muscle group and really making sure that the mind body connection is there and I'm really tuned into that one muscle or or you know body part, whatever, so that my thoughts have slowed way down right, cuz, like I mean real talk there. At any given moment I might be thinking about 12 different things. I'm just popping around. But what does that look like physically? That just looks like like I know. It looks like paralysis by analysis, right, and I'm not actually Any sort of productive.
Speaker 2:I know it's kind of stressful. It like freaks me out my heart rate elevates a little bit when I start thinking, right that I can't stop thinking.
Speaker 1:Oh because, it's too much, it's just too much.
Speaker 2:It's just how it is. We're you're never gonna stop, necessarily. Thinking, but like you mean, like when you start to, when you're in a spiral and you're just in your thought patterns, to take a Break from that by how? By creating the space? Yeah, for that break. Is that what you, what I mean?
Speaker 1:because the thing with meditation and I I know we've talked about this before, but it's, people have this there's, there's like this idea that meditation is supposed to be without any thoughts, which is it's possible, but hardly like for many of us.
Speaker 1:It's not you know, Realistically, there's still gonna be thoughts that come in, but the more you practice it, the more you can slow the thoughts down. The main thing you're trying to do is just not run away with the thoughts and spiral into a whole series of Thinking. You just watch the thoughts become the witness, right and again. This is kind of the second time we're saying that with all of this it's about just taking a step back and becoming the witness and not getting taken With the thoughts or with your mind. And so when you do create space, it's like I think I've used this analogy before, but I really like it because it's like shaking up a snow globe. When you pick up a snow globe, turn it upside down, you know, shake it all around. The thoughts are now the little snowballs and glitter just floating everywhere and you cannot see through it. Right Now there's just stuff floating all around. But I envision meditation, like when you set that snow globe down. It's been sitting there for like a Minute or so and everything settled.
Speaker 1:Now it becomes clear and you can see through it and I think your mind is the same way. So when you're overthinking, you're actually creating more Fuzziness and distraction from actually seeing what's in front of you because you're distracted with all the thoughts. Clarity goes out the window. And so if you can calm the thoughts down by either meditating or just like focusing on as little as possible and what I mean by that is like maybe just one thing Then your thoughts start to become so focused that everything comes and the clarity comes in and you can recognize how you feel and you can recognize, like, what the right answer is for you.
Speaker 1:And so it puts you into a state of being, in a state of presence that makes so much more possible.
Speaker 2:You know, I was in a state of just like constant Thought. Spiraling is really what it felt like. I felt like that that snow globe analogy is really profound, because that's what I feel Like it was. It was like trying to solve all my problems. I was trying to figure stuff out and I, you know, by nature of course my brain wants to figure out problems, but I also love to learn and I want to learn myself and I want to learn things and I'm like so I was just like really kind of I was just really in my head, as people like to say. I was really really in my head and living mostly from that space. Yeah, and you want to know what pulled me out of it? My friends sent me a recommendation for this fantasy fiction novel and I've never been a fantasy fiction reader in my life, never, I mean, I read Twilight, but that was actually an assignment, and my junior, really yes, my junior high school.
Speaker 2:Junior of high school my English teacher how to read Twilight. I know it's amazing. She was kind of odd but I loved her and that's what, of course, I loved. I wrote that I haven't really. I've never. I'm like a nonfiction girly, I'm like self-help.
Speaker 1:I'm like every yeah, right and again.
Speaker 2:That was just Continuing this snow globe effect right of all the things more information all the time and yeah and um. So it felt a little bit like a Like letting go in a scary way, like I can just sit still and, like go into this book, spend time reading about a place that doesn't even exist, people that don't exist, investing in relationships that aren't real. I was like what.
Speaker 2:But I'll tell you what I experienced was it was almost like I got to take a little break from my mind, while also Like giving my mind something more creative to do, because there was like world building, right. So I'm imagining this beautiful world of course it's fantasy, so it's like Just absolutely stunning and and get involved in this relationship of enemies to lovers and this, this reward and this payoff, and you know what I mean like I got to take a break from myself for a minute. Well, also giving my brain some fun, creative, playful stimulation. Yeah, I think so. I think that there's some, there's some merit there to Creativity and play on a mental level, right. So, definitely the stillness I mean that created that stillness just in a different, just a different avenue to that stillness.
Speaker 1:But sometimes, if you are really in your head Sitting down and meditating, can just send you over the edge, you know, or just being quiet you have to be super conscious of, and that's when I think like a mantra, yes, or mollabies help, because then it's kind of like what I think the book is doing for you is it's making your brain focus on one point, right, instead of you know a bajillion, like it usually is yeah, I think from the groceries you need to get to the calls you need to have that day and the things you need to do for the car and the family and whatever.
Speaker 1:so you, I think all of this is like just putting your focus and intention into one thing that's bringing it down, yeah, giving it a little bit of a break from you know All the things, letting that snow globe settle.
Speaker 2:That's a really great analogy. I think that's how it feels right. It's just like like fuzzy and like salt and pepper, like TV static, just like oh my gosh, what's going on.
Speaker 1:It's also energetically depleting Because all of those thoughts I mean your brain is working in overdrive. So part of slowing down is actually allowing your brain to not be, just expending so much energy, but, again, probably not the most productive thing you can do. Right, let it rest.
Speaker 2:That's cool. I love that and I never would have thought I'd be giving advice to people like to help you have a healthy mind, that read fantasy smut because that's what I do.
Speaker 2:But it really I mean, there's a lot of arenas for that, and meditating is a great one, Malabedes. There's other avenues and arenas that we'll get into as well in later episodes that can help really kind of calm the mind and help you get that clarity. I love that. Okay, and that actually is on par with another way to become clear when it comes to your mindset and become more what's the word I want to say in charge of your mind instead of letting it run the show, and that's really utilizing presence and becoming present.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh my God, it will slow things down when you're in the moment Again, slowing down the thoughts too.
Speaker 1:But it's like, when I think back to some of the times that I've been most present, it's always when I'm like traveling or experiencing something new, because all of my attention and focus goes into that actual moment. And it's funny because I'm sure you've had experiences like this where maybe you had a girls weekend and it was two days long, but it felt like you were there for a week because so much happened and you had fun. It went by fast, but it felt like so much happened in that short amount of time. And I think that that's because your level of presence completely shifts, because you're in the moment, experiencing the things, and it feels like more happened, whereas when we get lost in the churn of everyday life and routine, we're thinking, thinking, thinking. We also just go through the motions and we're not quite as present and we're kind of sleep, walking through life, we're just like little robots just getting from point A to point B.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so then time just flies and you're not in the moment, noticing all the little things which not really taking in life. Yeah, you're just not present because you're everywhere thinking about what needs to happen next. Oh my God, I didn't do this. I have to hurry up and get here, and that's not the way you're thinking when you're on a trip or something. So I think just becoming present gives you the capacity to slow down and just become so much more aware of what's actually in front of you, which is all we ever really have. So it's wild that we skip past it so easily by thinking about the future or the past.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I always say. I like to say that your body's an anchor to the present moment, because it's the only place that it can't exist.
Speaker 2:It can't exist in the past. I mean, of course we've got our cellular situation going on, which is like a whole different story. But what's really interesting is because we're talking about the mind and saying get into your body to get present, but your mind is also in your body, like, the mind is one blanket term, right, we're talking about the intellect, the mindset, but there's also thoughts and emotions are all connected and sensation and emotion and all of that. Your body and your mind are directly linked. I mean, obviously it's all part of the same. But yeah, when you get into your body, then you get into the more grounded part of your quote unquote mind. You get present and you can, like again, see more clearly. And there's also, there are answers in your body. Your mind is constantly seeking answers, right, and there's an intelligence of the body and the mind-body connection that you can access when you slow down and connect with yourself right 100%.
Speaker 2:Not like get out of the past and what's happened? Your fear of the future which is based on the past and just get here right now and drop into the body and then ask the question, right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, cause there's that intuition that you can drop into, but only when you're present.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Next point I love this one.
Speaker 1:We do.
Speaker 2:And we're gonna do an entire episode on this Sort of well, this is an element of it, but one thing that both you and I have talked about has been incredibly. It has really affected our mindset and the way that we view the world and ourselves. Is the people that we spend time with Makes?
Speaker 1:all the difference.
Speaker 2:Our friends, yeah, and colleagues and such. Just the people that you are physically with every day, or mostly, or emotionally, with yeah, cause you can, like you know, virtually be together, right, true yeah?
Speaker 1:I've noticed shifts in my own life depending on the people that I'm with and the way that I feel. Shifts depending on the people that I'm with, because it's like we've totally said this time and time again, but we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with and it's because we're picking up on energy and we're picking up on thoughts and we're picking up on habits and different patterns that other people are in, and it starts to frame our perception of the world and what's acceptable and what's not acceptable. But I think, even more importantly, it also shows us what's possible and I think some of the biggest shifts in my life have happened because I've had really great people around me to show me what's possible, and so that is like whoo. I mean, that's inspiration.
Speaker 2:I want one flip side of that too. If you've got big dreams and you believe and you have, you know, maybe the people that you're around are constantly like yeah, but no, but what about this?
Speaker 1:Mrrr, mrrr. Yeah. It's shit to be around people like that to be honest yeah, it can be. The downer.
Speaker 2:Energy sucking for sure.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, there's a lot to that, because there are actually people who are batteries, who give you energy, and then there's people who are drains, who will deplete your energy, and you know whether they know they're doing it or not, and I don't think anybody's intentionally trying to be a drain, but that's the way it works and it has a lot to do with their mindset.
Speaker 1:Exactly right. So you just want to be conscious of that and I mean, if you have somebody in your life that's a drain, that you really love, like I don't think of anything, I can't think of anything more loving than to be the person who can help call them forward on that and support them and seeing that there's another option, because you know this is as much for you as it is for them to honestly like. If you really love them, it's like, and you want to keep them around, you don't want to just kick them to the curb but challenge their mindset. Yeah, and I mean, who doesn't want to help somebody else? Maybe?
Speaker 2:they just aren't aware. Yeah, right, I mean, maybe it's yeah, they've just never. Even I read it. I read a stat the other day I don't even know if this is true, I just saw it on social media but it said something about like only 10% of the human population is self-aware. I Believe that what? That's crazy, because, guess what? The people I surround myself with are incredibly self-aware and so I just can't even imagine that.
Speaker 2:But but anyway, it's. It's true. Sometimes Self-awareness is awoken when you just you need to just shine a light on it. You're like, hey, have you ever thought about maybe not thinking that at all. Or hey, here's a podcast I love this into. Like the things that help you maintain or create a healthy Mindset or outlook on life. Share that you can share that with people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then it also makes sense. You know, like I Can talk to one group of people about a situation that I'm in and, you know, if they're not empowered or they maybe have a victim mentality, victim mindset, their responses to what I say are gonna be very different, whereas if I come over to your house right, and I'm it's so funny, I love talking to you and Rob, but some I just know that there's like gonna be no bullshit and it's we're gonna. You know, this is where you have responsibility, kendra, and this is where you have, and it's really empowering, it's saying like you can either do this or not. You know what I mean, and so that makes total sense to me. It just I mean it should be pretty obvious, right, that the people you spend time with are the gonna be the ones giving you advice. They're gonna be the ones that are gonna be your sounding board. They're gonna be reflecting back to you. You.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so the way that they perceive the world, the way they perceive themselves, their narrative and their, you know, like I said, their Mental, their mentality as far as like are you the victim or the author? That is going to absolutely be evident in what they reflect back to you when you share with them or whatever right.
Speaker 2:So yeah, super important, yeah, but I love that you brought the lighthouse element into this. Like you can be a lighthouse To your friends and help, or your family and help create that positive change for them. And it doesn't come by always telling them where they're like. Challenging them is great, but mostly it comes from just becoming the best version of our health. Yes, I'm letting that shine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the lighthouse metaphor. Yeah, lighthouse versus tugboat. The tugboat is trying real hard to get the ships in and it is using tons of physical energy to pull the ships in, but that's not always effective.
Speaker 1:But the lighthouse is just standing there, shining its light, being bright, guiding the ships in by being Itself you know, and so I think, yeah, you can cost someone forward, you can bring something to their awareness in a loving way. But also just know you can't force anybody to do anything Right, and that's where you have a decision about the people you want to surround yourself with.
Speaker 2:Yes, those same people could also be the ones that challenge you to grow in Learning and experiences right, which is another way to expand your mindset, is to just learn and experience more. To put yourself Right again, going back to like the unknown being scary and wanting to stay where you are because it's safe. Part of that expansion comes in dipping your toes into just uncomfortable. Enough is typically how.
Speaker 1:I like to Work yeah, hey, baby steps I like that yeah that's. I'm the same Mm-hmm. I've done a few things that have not been baby steps and like we're real scary, and I mean of course I got, you know, a lot of bang for my buck for sure. That's not always the approach I want to take right, it's all a choice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you want to turn your life upside down and get Very dramatic change. You can, yeah, or you can dip your toes into just uncomfortable enough.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just outside of your comfort zone. Yeah, you know, and I think what specifically? What we mean by that is just creating opportunities for you to learn, and so I mean, dipping your toes in could be picking up a new book and maybe Listening to a new podcast that maybe wasn't on your radar before. Or, if you want to go in a little bit deeper, maybe it's hiring a coach or a mentor. Other other ways is like. I mean, I Was a little nervous going to Joe dispensa, dr Joe and really oh yeah, because it was.
Speaker 1:It was a seven day. Pretty sure it was seven days, right, or was it ten?
Speaker 2:No, it's not like a long time Seven days of meditation very present, so it's probably oh yeah, you know ten days worth of mental Strain, right?
Speaker 1:but going into it people were like, oh, it's intense, oh yeah, like it's, it's this, it's that, and I was like, at first I was really excited, just purely excited, but then it started to get a little bit like, oh god, I'm kind of nervous, this is gonna be. This is real, you know, and I should have been nervous because it was. It was pretty intense at times, but that sounds like. I got tons out of it. So I definitely left my comfort zone and I definitely got the benefits of that experience.
Speaker 1:So you know also, like I, we do a lot of like workshops and like weekend events where, like, there's little exercises and activities that you know like eye gazing.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. Yeah, I remember the first time I did eye gazing. Let me tell you what it was one of the most uncomfortable things ever.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you don't think it would be but oh, Is yeah, I would think it would be.
Speaker 2:You're literally basically nose to nose with somebody and just staring into each other's eye Like that sounds like very uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:And it was end up feeling so naked and so vulnerable, very vulnerable.
Speaker 2:What happens when you open yourself up to be vulnerable and open yourself up to just uncomfortable enough. I had one of the most profound experiences of my life when I first eye gaze. Yes, eye gazed, tried eye gazing that works.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean I felt. I actually not felt. I believe it was the first time in my life I ever actually looked somebody in the eye right you know, not just at their eye but into the soul.
Speaker 1:even looking at you now I'm like I can feel it it's wild, because the first time I did it it was actually with Rob.
Speaker 2:Really, honestly, more uncomfortable, isn't it? Yeah, there's something about that.
Speaker 1:That's like it was so you would think that I mean at that point in time We'd probably already been dating for like five years or something. So it's not like I'd never looked into the guy's eyes before. But being intentional and not breaking eye contact and just having the intention of like looking straight into his eyes and also allowing him to see straight into mind, there was something. I mean, if it's uncomfortable with your boyfriend, because he was my boyfriend at that time it's real uncomfortable with a stranger too.
Speaker 2:You know it's like it's just a wild, wild thing Totally. But the point of that right is it's like that was uncomfortable. It was there was something scary and uncomfortable and stretching about it, but I mean, I had an amazing experience and it's a great experience too.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, it was great and you know, it definitely shifted things in our relationship because we were able to talk about what came of that experience and how we felt through it. And yeah, I mean, it's so wild, it's so crazy to think about how I felt at that point in time, looking into his eyes, versus if we had to do it now, I think it would be a completely different story. But it's Well, because you guys are different now. Oh, so different. But it takes those types of experiences to learn and grow, exactly which you know.
Speaker 2:there's a lot of people, a lot of talk out there about get out of your comfort zone, blah, blah. Really, all it is is it's expanding, because right now you're existing in a space that you know and if you want to expand, if you wanna grow, if you want to evolve, if you want to have a greater capacity for love and knowledge and creation and all of that money, all of that, then you have to be willing to step outside of what you know.
Speaker 1:I love that. That is what growth is right.
Speaker 2:You're literally expanding and getting bigger, and then you have more space for more.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you're increasing your capacity to experience life, understand it. Yeah, it's so cool. Final thoughts yeah, I think I feel like we could talk about this forever.
Speaker 2:Literally, Honestly but Every episode. We'll say that I know, Because it's true.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's one final thing that I think is actually really important when it comes to your mindset. That sometimes gets overlooked, and I think it's really important to know that your body feels your mind just like your mind feels your body. And what I mean by that is that we've been talking a lot about how your mind feels your body, but also what you put into your body can shift the way your body feels and therefore it will shift the way you're thinking and your emotions and stuff. So, specifically, the things that we choose between food, exercise, entertainment all of that is stuff that we're taking in. I know for myself, when I'm working out, like that'll naturally actually shift the way I wanna eat.
Speaker 1:It's so weird, but like when I work out, the things I crave and the things I want are actually cleaner, better things, versus when I get kind of into this rut where maybe I just haven't gotten movement in, I'm like on some vacation or something and I'm like, yeah, I'm just gonna enjoy. It shifts my energy, it shifts the way I feel, it shifts the way I. Therefore I think, and it takes a lot more effort to get back into a rhythm that's healthy and feels good. So I'm sure you can say the same thing for like, when you've been in a social media habit doom, scrolling and the way you feel afterwards is like brrr, like just not great.
Speaker 1:And so I think it's really about being conscious of what you're taking in, because it's going to change the way that you feel and the way that you think, and it's a spiral. I mean, it's a circle, you know they feed each other.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this could get into, like the physiological effects of when you have, like these dopamine hits over and over and over again and then your body wants more and that's where you crave. I mean, we can get into the whole, that whole part, and there's a lot to that for sure. So there's this mindset and mind health. It's very far reaching and it really just starts with intention, right, awareness, becoming aware of your thoughts, becoming aware of your habits and what you're taking in and what you're choosing to think about and the people and how, like, your environment in general is affecting you. Because it's the people, it's the space that you're in, it's all of that, right. It's the cleanliness of the air, of the food, all of it. Everything you're taking in. All of this affects your mental health in a very wide ranging way right Like your mindset and your emotion and your gut.
Speaker 2:Biome effects your brain, Right, right, yeah, so it's all interconnected, right? All of this is that's what we're calling a wellness series, because it's not like a one-off thing and just like the chakras. You can't just hyper focus on one chakra. That's out of whack, you know. You have to look at the whole.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And this any time we look at an individual element, we also must look at the whole, because they're directly linked, right? So with this mindset element, remember, this is just a part of a greater whole, but it all feeds into each other, right? So it's when you start working on one, it's like you get the momentum going and it all, right, it all. Eventually, you've come back into resonance with yourself and Back into alignment, back into alignment, up, up, up, up, up, up up.
Speaker 1:Very original.
Speaker 2:Okay, very cool.
Speaker 1:Well, this feels complete for now. It does, until next time.
Speaker 2:Until next time, goodbye.
Speaker 1:Goodbye. If you found any of what we shared today helpful, please share this with a friend, and we would so appreciate a rating and review to help us grow and reach more people. Also, please feel free to send us any feedback and questions. You can find us on Instagram. Kendra can be found at KendraDyerCrabb, k-e-n-d-r-a-d-y-e-r-c-r-a-b-b, and you can find myself at Lauren Penyadial, and it's L-A-U-R-E-N-P-E-N-A-D-I-A-L. Thanks so much for listening and I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day. Thanks again, patrick.