A Little Alignment
In "A Little Alignment," we pour our hearts into conscious conversations about the things we love to geek out about -- psychology, philosophy, optimal health, art, science, mysticism, spirituality, success, relationships and more.
We live for those priceless "aha" moments that have the potential to awaken creativity and curiosity, and remind you of your beauty, power, and presence.
Our intention is to help you realign with your most whole and exceptional self.
Tune in as we navigate the beautiful path to self-discovery together. 🎙️🥂
A Little Alignment
The Essence of Success
Unlock the secret ingredient to a successful life with insights from our seasoned business coach, Ms. Lauren, as we chat about the transformative power of being. Discover how intention and presence can not only shift your daily experience but also propel you towards profound personal triumphs and business victories.
Join us for an episode that's as much a call to action as it is a call to being.
We focus so much on well, what do I need to do to make this work? What do I need to do? Going back to, like, the business coaching that's what everybody starts so many of our conversations with Well, what do I need to do? Just tell me what I need to do and it's like, okay, well, don't you worry, we will tell you what you need to do. That's you know, luckily, and that's why you're here. You're going to bump up against that discomfort and if you're not in a strong place to be the best version of yourself to push through that, you're going to hit that wall over and over and over again.
Speaker 2:Welcome to a little alignment. If you enjoy what you hear today, if you gain some value from our episode, please leave us a good rating and review at the end. Every single review counts. It really does make a difference. We would appreciate it with all our hearts. We're so glad y'all are here with us, helping us create a little more alignment in the world. Okay, I heard some really fascinating wisdom a couple of years ago. That's really stuck with me and I've applied it. I've seen it in action and in being. I believe that it's true, and so what we're going to talk about today is the secret to success Tell me more, the 80 20 rule, and that, in this context, means that it's 80% about how you're being and 20% about what you're actually doing.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And so we're going to, we're going to dig into that today and what that means. And it's really fun because we have, we're going to, we're going to dig into that today and what that means. And it's really fun because we have, we have Ms Lauren here, who is a business coach, and you work in a program with people where you have a formula for them to plug in like the doing.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But not everybody gets the same results from the doing Right, and that's because I mean that supports this, this principle right. I mean that supports this, this principle right. That it's not. We put so much effort and and value into the do yeah Right, and that's a societal thing too.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of, there's a lot of expectation and celebration around action the hustle, the hustle, the doing, yeah, the masculine and the 80% is the feminine and the being. And what's going on in your internal world, your thoughts, your health, um, and your body, your, I mean all of that, Right.
Speaker 2:And that is affecting your success in what you're, in anything, in any endeavor in your relationship. If you are, um, trying to start a brand new business, accomplish something, uh, bring something to fruition, in whatever it is, in whatever form, 80 percent of the success of that is lies in how you're being right. So let's just talk about that a little bit. What does it mean? What does it mean?
Speaker 1:yeah. So, like I remember when I first heard this too, I almost like remember where I was too. I think I was like in Sedona in 20, it might've been 2019. I don't know, it doesn't really matter, but it's just funny, because when somebody told me they're like you're just way too busy thinking about what you need to be doing instead of asking yourself who you want to be, and I think this was coming at a time where I was trying to figure out what my passion in life was, and I was like whoa, oh my God, I really had never thought about that. And they said that really cute little like quote. People always say like we're human beings, not human doings.
Speaker 1:And I was like, oh my God, it's true, but yeah, like, all of the action and the doing is influenced by the being. You know, like, even if you keep it as simple as like you know, the days you get up and you have your routine and you feel really good because you were able to get to a place where you were centered or you supported yourself first and did the things that made you feel good. Therefore, you were more centered into your being than the outcome of everything that you did that day. Everything that you do is so much more efficient or effective or productive because you came from that centered place of being.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure. I mean, I think if we paint a picture here, I love that you said you know how you're starting your day and going through your routine. If we have somebody who is really intentional about their inner world, that 80 that being how they're showing up and you know they get ready, they go out let's say, go to the grocery store and maybe we're low energy, we're grumpy, we're feeling a victim, we're upset or even just like not present. We're grumpy, we're feeling a victim, we're upset or even just like not present, we're walking through, we're just getting going through the motions, getting the stuff we need, coming back home, doing the things, going to work, doing the things and and then ending the day and what really? What really did you? What really happened for you that day?
Speaker 2:versus somebody who wakes up with intention and they're like, okay, I'm going to be profoundly, uh, consciously, in my life really show up in a way that is intentional, get up, get ready, and part of their morning routine is putting them into this really intentional, present space. Go to the grocery store. Perhaps there's somebody there that they get an impression to stop and talk to because they're really present and they're feeling that uh pull, or that they are, they're able to receive that ping and they go talk to them and they have an amazing conversation with somebody, and who knows where that goes. Right? But you see where I'm going with this. Right, you can do the same thing and have completely different a outcomes and b experiences. Oh, oh for sure, a hundred percent Based on how you're being in those moments. And this also brings into the conversation the law of attraction, right? Oh yeah, how our energy, our vibe, our frequency all of that is affecting the people we're around it really is attracting like, attracts like.
Speaker 2:Yeah that plays a role in this as well oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So, like, whenever they talk about like what you put out there is what you'll get back, I also just like this, because we always have a chance to choose how we want to be, and I I like sort of this whole conversation of doing versus being, because I think what ends up happening sometimes is we just jump into the doing like, oh, like scrambling to get things done, um, and it it reminds me of the whole like work smarter versus working harder thing where, like, if we just jump into things and we're just like trying to get things done, we can end up spinning our wheels and it might not be as effective or as intentional as we wanted, or we might even not just be productive at all.
Speaker 1:But we can choose at any point in time to take a step back and reevaluate how we're being and allow ourselves to work from a more centered place and therefore be in a state that's going to be more supportive of productivity, and then, like you were just saying, it totally impacts your experience, not not just like how things turn out, but how you are experiencing that day or the people around you, and that's so cool because you're in control of that. Like you really can change that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely, and it also like the doing would be like the setting and achieving your goals. And I think you're right. I think a lot of people want to jump right into what they want to get and what they want to achieve, what they want to do and what they want to have, and all that and the better.
Speaker 2:We've talked about this before that. I think the better question to ask is what is it that you want to experience? Yeah, because again, the same thing goes for having you could have everything that you think that you want and then when the novelty fades realize that you're not happier you're not better for it. You're not actually at peace or content or in love. You got what you wanted, but you didn't actually get what you wanted.
Speaker 1:You got what you thought you wanted right because there's like I guess it almost feels like maybe it's hollow at that point because the being part of it and like really being in it wasn't what you were achieving yeah, and you were, and I think too it's you're after the wrong thing.
Speaker 2:What you think you're going to get is what you you let me put it this way you think that you're going to get what you really want through something else instead of being more intentional about. I don't necessarily want, uh, that house of my dreams. That's not exactly what I want. What I want is to feel stability, right, to have space to bring people into my home and to entertain and to connect and to have space for that connection and to grow my family or whatever, right. So what you really want to feel is connection and stability, and yet that's not part of the equation. Most of the time, when we're setting goals, it's like what do you want? When do you want it? Yeah, smart goals, you know? Yeah, and I don't think there's anything wrong with setting smart goals if that's something that works for you. But just remembering that that's only 20% of the equation. 80% is the experience that you're calling in as well Right, and that can also help clarify your path.
Speaker 2:I think, if you are headed down headed down a road after what you want, and there may be another option and opportunity to get to the same experience, but if you're so focused on what you want instead of what you want to experience then you might not allow yourself the flexibility to shift.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. Yeah, it like reminds me of how people say you have to fall in love with the process, because what that's really drawing your attention to is how you're being all along the way.
Speaker 2:So I want to ask you your opinion and your observation. As somebody who works with people who are starting businesses, you have a very clear formula for their do Right and, like I said at the beginning of this episode, that doesn't necessarily create the exact same results over and over and over again because it has a lot to do with the people that are participating Right. So what are some of your observations about the different um levels or different types of being, and how that's affected people's results?
Speaker 1:Oh, my God, this is such a great question Cause. Yeah, so, like it's funny, I love both sides of what I do for different reasons, because I feel like both the being and doing are really important and the so, like my own personal coaching that I've done has been a lot more on the being part and it's like more personal development related and lifestyle related and inner work and self love. And then there is the other business, where it's it is business coaching and how to start a business. So, like the intention is very different but, that being said, different.
Speaker 1:But that being said, there's a huge element to when I see someone being successful. Notice, it's like being successful is that there's the ones that just take off like straight out of the gates and they're taking action and it's working and they're seeing that success is because they came in with a really strong sense of being and their mind was in a really good place, they were really in line with their intention, they were really centered into themselves and their confidence and I would say like in a really strong state of being the best version of themselves, because the doing is obviously reflective of that and their business is only going to be as strong as they are, because they are the foundation of their business. So that is huge. Because then there's the opposite side of the coin, where somebody who might really need to work on their self-esteem or they're, you know, going after this business for a different reason Maybe, instead of, you know, leading with purpose and passion, they're leading with something more like well, I just want to be able to make money, I want to passively make income.
Speaker 1:That one always gets me because I'm like, yeah, you can make passive income, but you're going to have to work for it. Initially. It's not just like one day you're going to start bringing in hundreds of thousands of dollars while you were sleeping because you decided you wanted a passive income business, right. So it's like the intention then is just that they're trying to just get something done versus being the version of themselves that's going to bring value to the world. And so in those situations the success doesn't just snap into place, because there's so much that needs to come into place within themselves first to allow all of the action that we teach to actually be effective.
Speaker 2:I love that because that can apply to all of us in so many different scenarios. Yeah, Because what happens when you're building a business is you get that business and that building of that business reflects back to you all of the things that are still, all the things within right. It's a big mirror.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, and I think that's also what's really surprising to a lot of people is there's so much more because of this 80 20 rule. There's so much more that has to happen personally for you to be successful in your business than you realize. And so when you're starting a business, it's gonna, like you said, it's gonna be a big old mirror for the things you haven't worked on or that are potentially hiding back there, that are holding you back. And until you're willing to sit and be with those things and shift your being to align with you know you could say the frequency or the energy of the direction you're trying to go in, you're going to stay stuck.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and that's the case If we're talking about relationships too, like you can 100% all day say all I want is a healthy, strong relationship and if you keep finding yourself either in the same relationship or different relationships that are in, you know, repetitive cycles. You're, you're, you're, you're, you're doing the relationship, but it's reflecting back to things that your own insecurities or your own, you know.
Speaker 2:Some people call them blind spots, some people call them wounds yeah your own beliefs about yourself and the world and you don't attend to those right. You don't listen and you just want to blame it on what's outside of you. You want to blame it on I just don't have the right partner or I'm just not in the right program. I just don't have the right coach. It's just not the right time. All of those things could be true, yeah, but if you keep finding yourself in that you know bumping up against that belief that you're just in, you know you just don't have the right circumstances.
Speaker 2:Don't forget that we're all powerful creators and, in a very, very literal sense, we are the creators of our own circumstances and it is a reflection of what we believe we're worthy, of what we believe we're capable of. Our own vision, right and passion and commitment to that and belief in our own resilience, right, I mean, there's, that's the stuff that'll come up when you're challenged.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's, um, it's.
Speaker 1:It's such a cool thing because it's like I think the success is gifted to you when you're willing to go and become uncomfortable in a multifaceted way, and what I mean by that is it's like, yeah, you can be uncomfortable financially and invest in something, but like what about how you're actually being?
Speaker 1:What's like the energy behind it and is it full of something that actually means something to you? And there's a completely different energy that's going into that. So it makes sense that your success would be reflective, you know, and also like would you be willing to invest in something in a really big way if you weren't confident right, or if you weren't really sure that you will make the right decision right? And accessing that confidence or accessing, you know, the ability to make good decisions and trust yourself that, all those little pieces right there, that's a journey in itself. But if you're not willing to do that, you're not going to be taking those big risks. Yeah, therefore, the success is it's just a. You know, it's like a, a possibility, but you're not solidifying it or bringing like, calling it in intentionally.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you'll never get there, right, right and that's yeah, exactly that's. That is the, that is the journey to success. It's not that's why we thought it'd be cute to start this thing. The secret to success? Because because there's, you know, there's certain steps to take and certain things that must be done, like there has to be some level of investment financially, there has to be some level of commitment.
Speaker 2:And time wise too, not even just financially time wise a hundred percent and all of yeah, absolutely, but that's only 20% of it. The rest of the, the rest of the equation of, that will lead you to success or continue to stop you from succeeding in what you want, and what I mean by success is just getting what you want out of your life.
Speaker 1:Getting fulfillment?
Speaker 2:Yes exactly Whether it's a business venture, a relationship, a health goal, even just wanting to feel peace and just be happy.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:All of those things, whatever. That's what I mean by success, achieving success in those things. 80% of it is that journey you were just saying being being willing to look inward and pay attention to what, how you're being in your heart, in your mind, the conversations you're having with yourself. Yeah, Are you willing to be uncomfortable, um, with this, this is funny okay.
Speaker 2:So I typically, when we talk about get comfortable, being uncomfortable and taking risks. It's so interesting because I think that there are like common uncomfortable things that people like yeah, I'm willing to do that, I'm willing to invest all of my money, I am willing to just 100% of my time put into doing this, I'm willing to move across the country, whatever. But if you're willing to do that, that's not what's uncomfortable for you. Yeah, I know, but what might be uncomfortable for you, what's uncomfortable for me, for an example, is I having a difficult conversations with people, right?
Speaker 2:So, for example, the other day, my husband we had like a TIF and the next day he was fine and there was peace quote unquote, externally, and the my typical go-to is to want to protect the peace. So much the external peace that I'm like I'm not going to bring it up because he's he's in a good mood, I'm in a good mood, but then what happens is we end up having a very similar tiff or fight instead of being willing to say it makes me so uncomfortable to bring this conversation up right now, while things are on the surface. Okay, right, but I'm willing to be uncomfortable and step outside of my comfort zone and bring it up, and it's the first few times I did something like that. It was a little bit of a train wreck, if we're honest.
Speaker 2:Oh, because that's just how it goes, you know like that's when you're learning and growing, you're you're not gonna always get right. Sometimes it's gonna be messy, yeah, um, but it's the commitment to doing it different, or being. It's the commitment to being different if you want different outcome experience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, like you, it. It shift like the. The product was that or the outcome was that. Yes, it was uncomfortable, but your being was more in alignment. You know which, in the long run, is going to end up being more successful in your relationship, rather than trying to suppress something or hide something or just like sweeping it under the rug.
Speaker 1:So, it's like that was definitely uncomfortable, but it's going to help shift the new norm for what's going to happen next. Yeah, yeah, little by little, little by little. Yeah, yeah, little by little, little by little. Yeah, no, this is so fun.
Speaker 1:I think that with the 80-20, I mean really the whole thing to highlight here is that we, like you said earlier, we focus so much on, well, what do I need to do to make this work? What do I need to do? And that's again going back to much on well, what do I need to do to make this work? What do I need to do? And that's again going back to, like, the business coaching. That's what everybody starts so many of our conversations with well, what do I need to do? Just tell me what I need to do, and it's like okay, well, don't you worry, we will tell you what you need to do. That's you know. Luckily, that's why you're here. We've got that. But I guarantee you, if you do not work on X, y and Z which is why, like, the first modules in this business course are on mindset, they are on helping you get centered into your being and alignment with the true purpose of this business, because we know that is either going to make or break you.
Speaker 1:So let's start right here, at the very beginning, because if you skip that and just go right into the doing, you're inevitably going to bump up against something that you have resistance with.
Speaker 1:You're going to bump up against that discomfort, and if you're not in a strong place to be the best version of yourself to push through that, you're gonna hit that wall over and over and over again, and so that's really why it's like you have to take a look at that big old 80% and honor it, because, yes, the action is going to lead you there, but it's what's behind it. I think that really sets forth that action in the right or wrong direction.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. It makes me think of that quote. You don't get in life what you want. You get what you are.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And I think this is why you and I are so committed to healing and such advocates for doing that inner work of healing, because that is, that is what creates our circumstances, because it's what fuels us, it's what it's, it's it's the beliefs that we have again coming back to do. If you were in a relationship, oh my gosh. Actually, this is perfect. I don't know why I keep going back to relationships. I think it's just so relatable. But this is going to be a little bit of spoilers.
Speaker 2:If you watch Love is Blind, if you haven't seen all of season six, then don't listen to this part. But it was so perfect. Okay, so there was this couple that got together and they chose each other blindly. If you don't know what love is, why don't you just look it up? I'm not going to get into it, but it's fascinating. Yeah, it seriously is like a psychological experiment and watching this, I'm like I feel like a therapist, like I could diagnose what's going on Like this is a perfect lesson in self-sabotage, and that's what I was watching between this one couple.
Speaker 2:For those of is Chelsea and Jimmy. Okay, so Chelsea and Jimmy chose each other and outward, like what was actually happening on the outside, was full commitment, and what Jimmy was saying to Chelsea was I'm committed, I love you, I think you're beautiful, I'm. They moved in together, they were planning their wedding, but she kept at least what we were seeing in the footage. She kept bringing up like reasons to fight, almost do you?
Speaker 2:even love me. Do you think I'm pretty? And you think so, and so is prettier than me. And it was. It was so fascinating because I'm like I'm literally watching before my eyes somebody who doesn't feel worthy yeah, of someone else's love basically not letting themselves receive, even though he's out giving it to her right. She could literally go out and take it like what was there there the do? I mean in a sense it was, it was what was being given, it was the do, but she wasn't open to receiving.
Speaker 2:She didn't believe that she actually could be loved like that. And that's what happens. If we really don't believe that we're worthy of something, even if it is given to us like fed to us, spoon fed to us, we'll end up self-sabotaging in some way because we're uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:Totally.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you got to run back into that comfort zone. Yeah, nothing's going to happen there.
Speaker 2:Well, actually, something will happen there, just the same thing yeah.
Speaker 1:It'll just be the same thing that you're already doing.
Speaker 2:You know Same thing, so just yeah, it'll just be the same thing you're already doing. You know same things.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, it's fascinating, yeah, cool, anyway, anything else, I mean a lot more on this, always, yeah, I feel like we'll always kind of come back to this, because it's like intertwined and everything like you were saying, between relationships and starting a business and really just like implementing any change that you want in your life. It has to come from a really strong sense of being, so that the action you take is, you know, potent.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and more specifically, just in case this is helpful, the being is what your thoughts are, how you're feeling your, your beliefs, your patterns emotionally and mentally, all all of the things that go on within the internal world. Right, and this is it's. I'm going to throw this in here at the end being is the feminine element, and and the and it's again, it's receiving, it's resting, and it's also connecting and um letting like a community rather than independence. So it's just, it's also connecting and um letting like a community rather than independence.
Speaker 2:So it's just, it's interesting when you, when you consider the two, you could, you could interchange them. I think in a lot of ways, um, we have been taught really to highly value everything masculine and undervalue everything feminine, and so just look into that, what feminine qualities are, what masculine qualities are, and recognize your relationship with rest, with receiving, with um, allowing, with allowing, with being vulnerable and open and letting someone else, you know, in community and connection, and I guess that is also receiving um, because that actually is a huge element to success. Yeah, so, anyway, very interesting stuff and I'm sure, like you said, we'll be back to talk more about it in the future.
Speaker 1:Yes, we will, but just keep this in mind for now. Okay, that's all. That's all, goodbye, bye. If you found any of what we shared today helpful, please share this with a friend, and we would so appreciate a rating and review to help us grow and reach more people. Also, please feel free to send us any feedback and questions. You can find us on Instagram. Kendra can be found at Kendra Dyer Crabb K-E-N-D-R-A-D-Y-E-R-C-R-A-B-B, and you can find myself at Lauren Pena Dial, and it's L-A-U-R-E-N-P-E-N-A-D-I-A-L. Thanks so much for listening and I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day.