A Little Alignment
In "A Little Alignment," we pour our hearts into conscious conversations about the things we love to geek out about -- psychology, philosophy, optimal health, art, science, mysticism, spirituality, success, relationships and more.
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A Little Alignment
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome and Cultivating Self-Discovery
Have you ever felt like a fraud in your own life, waiting for someone to reveal you're not as competent as people think? You're not alone. Join us as we journey through the rocky landscape of self-perception and personal growth, illuminating the often misunderstood phenomenon of imposter syndrome.
The thing is is, I think, getting comfortable, in a sense, with this experience of inadequacy is important, because when you see it come up first of all, you can just immediately say the reason that I'm experiencing this is because I'm pushing myself and. I'm growing, make friends with it, say, oh, I see you. The fact that you're showing up is a good sign. I don't have to listen and believe all the intrusive thoughts. If you will, though I did, I listened to them intentionally. Right, like what thoughts?
Speaker 3:am I having and why?
Speaker 1:Like yeah, identify them identify them and root them out. Because, again, if I want to expand myself even more than I'm going to put myself in a position to maybe get criticism and have people outside of myself maybe saying who do you think you are? And if I don't have that stability and that safety within myself to first of all allow them to have their experience, but also just that foundational space of love and I'm not doing this to know everything, I'm not afraid to get it wrong. I'm doing this because I love it and because I love life and because I want to help people. Welcome to a little alignment. If you enjoy what you hear today, if you gain some value from our episode, please leave us a good rating and review at the end. Every single review counts. It really does make a difference. We would appreciate it with all our hearts. We're so glad y'all are here with us helping us create a little more alignment in the world today.
Speaker 1:I actually chose the topic because this is something that recently came up for me in a really honestly a little bit of a debilitating it was semi-debilitating, um for the first time in a long time and yeah. So I was like, okay, this is something I'm feeling really connected to just coming out of it and having a recent pretty intense experience with it. So we're going to talk today about imposter syndrome and it's something Lauren and I both have have coached coaches. She currently coaches coaches, so this is a space. That's a space where you know it's's. You see imposter syndrome pretty frequently, right?
Speaker 1:and then also see the effect that it has on your ability to go out there and do the things that you want to do and, yeah, which you want to be and who you want to be. And then, of course, because we both are people who, who, um, very intentionally work on expanding ourselves, have our own individual experiences and have many run-ins right with imposter syndrome, For sure it's a tricky.
Speaker 1:It's a tricky minx imposter syndrome because it's in the nature of expanding yourself, when, when you reach for more, more knowledge, more skill, it's, it's the principle of the more you know, the more you realize you don't know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, which is okay. It's it's inevitable.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but if you let yourself believe that the only way that you are able, you're allowed to have a presence in the space that you want to have a presence in, whether it's in teaching, in creating, in developing, whatever it is, if you feel like the only way to have permission to do that is to know everything there is to know or know more than other people, or whatever, or to be good, really good, at it already, yeah, that's gonna stop you for sure, because right you're gonna bump into the inevitability that there's so much that you don't know yet about it or understand, yet always more always.
Speaker 3:I um, I'm just really pumped to talk about this because so many people deal with this. I mean, for us it, you know, close because of the coaching, but this pops up for everyone, like people who are, you know, new to anything will get imposter syndrome because they're thinking like I've never been this version of me before, I've never done this before. Who do I think I am yeah, and so it can literally pop up about just about anything.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's fair, yeah, and I think I am. That's such a funny thing because it's true, that's that's some somewhere around. There is the thought I think associated mostly with imposter syndrome, when really that's the cosmic joke, right? Is that we think that we know who we are, what we are, we think we know period and as if it's fixed, or something?
Speaker 3:Yeah, because it's really not. We evolve. Yeah, I think that's part of the whole thing is also just allowing that evolution of yourself and being okay to what you're saying. You don't have to know everything to help someone or to start doing something. Yeah, I think that's the thing is, you just have to start and you only get better and more knowledgeable with the practice of doing it. But if you keep stopping yourself, you're not going to, you know, get any better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and it's important for our evolution as a human species, in our development and in our ability to create art and have art and tell our story and stuff.
Speaker 1:Because I think of it this way, someone that I, that a lot of people really respect, is Albert Einstein, and he's so. What I love about him is that he he made some pretty profound discoveries in the world of science, but he also was a philosopher, you know. He had some really beautiful insights to the human being and into life and the universe and the interconnectedness of everything. And he was so bold in his sharing right, his sharing of his discoveries, of his ideas, of what could potentially be true, which I guess is what an idea, one form of an idea, which I guess is what an idea, one form of an idea, and it served humanity for a long time. Just recently they're, they're starting to like modern science is starting to find things that are conflicting or contradicting to some of Albert Einstein's claims. That doesn't make him any less of a genius because his he created a somewhat of a foundation for us to build upon.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's a stepping stone, yeah, and it's been really valuable for a lot of people and a lot of creation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and he wasn't afraid to get it wrong. And I think that's an important thing and it's something I've said before, something that I love this mantra that sometimes we get it wrong to get it right, right. So we don't need to be too attached to getting it right, because that's not necessarily always the way to expanding and to becoming better and to helping people.
Speaker 3:That's like another form of perfectionism.
Speaker 1:For sure.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and you can't be perfect. And again it's like through the learning that you start to perfect the process. I say like perfect, right, but just get better again. You know and learn and grow and all that fun stuff. But I want to hear about your experience.
Speaker 1:So tell us my, my, my nervous laugh.
Speaker 3:Well, you know you can go as deep as you want to into it, but like what do you feel helped you through it?
Speaker 1:Um, okay, so I believe I choose to believe anyway that life is always happening for me. Sometimes I forget it, sometimes I don't operate as if that's what I'm choosing to believe, but that's what I tend to work to return back to Yep to believe, but that's what I tend to work to return back to yep, and so what I see that whole experience as is there, was. There's still things deeply seated within me that I mean I have a vision and a dream for myself and what I want to, the message that I want to be and the message that I want to share and a work that I want to do, and it it's not a small scale idea or dream, and so I believe that the life was like all right. If you really want this, then we got to make sure that we're rooting out some of the things that could continue to keep you stuck and not expand as much as you want to your reach and your ability right.
Speaker 1:And so I mean, I was sitting one day I'm just always love to learn and expand myself intellectually and I was sitting there watching somebody run a run a breath work course actually, and I was participating in it, but I was also it was a recording participating in it, but I was also observing the, the facilitator, and just you know, how are they running it, how are they showing up? How do I feel in their presence? And, instead of being inspired, I felt really inadequate.
Speaker 1:I felt really small and like this person is amazing and I maybe I'm not amazing and maybe I can't do this and maybe I'm not, and maybe I can't do this and maybe I'm not. I'm not trying to be a breathwork facilitator, even Right, but I just saw them. They were showing up in their space with such authority and such love and I was like, how you know I just there were a lot of. It was very chaotic inside, so the clarity wasn't there, right. So a lot of this is just bullshit stuff that I say out loud and I'm like that's wow, like that was like the fuzzy mind chatter that's going on, that starts to lead you to feel something, even if it's not like a cohesive or true thought.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure, and I think for me, what it boils down to is that sometimes there's a part of me that feels like I need to prove something to myself. It's all, only always, ever to yourself that like I need to prove something to myself. It's all, only always, ever to yourself that you're trying to prove something to.
Speaker 1:You might blame it on someone like my, you know, your parents, or the world or your partner, but it's always you, right. You're trying to prove something to and um, usually a wounded version of yourself, and so I just I recognized that that was what was coming up. That was what it was rooted in was me. I felt like I needed to prove something to myself of my ability to know enough and to be able to, like, teach a specific way and to. Just so many things were crashing down on me that I had been holding up on this false foundation of who. I thought I was right, I'm this way and this is how I'm gonna prove this and this is how I'm gonna do good work and this is how I'm gonna help people. And that came crashing down on itself because it's not built on a foundation of love or authenticity or truth or you know what I mean.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, and so go ahead. Oh no, I wasn't gonna say anything, go for it.
Speaker 1:Oh, so I no, I wasn't gonna say anything Go for it. Oh, so that I'm glad that it happened, because then I I was able to return to something that has been such a support to me whenever I start to feel inadequate. Because, to be honest, I don't think, I don't believe that witnessing or observing your inadequacy is always has to be a bad thing. Yeah, because it's not necessarily. You don't need to be the best or have all the answers. The most powerful thing that you can contribute, the most powerful way that you can contribute, is by showing up in a space of deep and honest love, and I know that might sound cliche, but I mean, as always, cliches are cliche for a reason. Love is the most powerful force and when you, instead of trying to understand the message and be able to communicate it a specific way and the best way, and know everything there is to know, to instead learn how to embody your message from a space of love and really embody love.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's also not just a cliche, because there's like so much that's real behind it. Because if you think about, like, if we rewind and go back to like, what kind of kicked off the imposter syndrome in this situation, you know, watching the breathwork course, what first? One of the first things that took place was like this comparison mode came in me versus this person, and if you're starting to feel inadequate, that means that somewhere along the way the thoughts were not loving towards yourself. Yeah Right, so then it was you know.
Speaker 3:I don't know specifically what you're thinking but like an.
Speaker 3:So then it was. You know I don't know specifically what you're thinking, but like an example of it could have been like you know, I don't know as much as this person, or I'm not as good as this person at doing this, or whatever. Right, which is not the most loving way to approach what you're trying to learn, because there you are trying to learn, literally trying to learn and you're there's a story starting to build in the background, saying you're not as good as this person because you don't have x, y and z. So it's not just like, oh fluffy, like you need to love yourself, but no, like actually being loving to yourself in that moment looks like being kind and saying things that are supportive, and that's where you can shift how you're feeling and when you can do that, taking action and doing things becomes so much easier.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Because you're feeling in alignment with it. You know it's like you never feel motivated or energized when somebody is like beating down on you or talking shit to you.
Speaker 3:It's the same thing when we're doing it to ourselves you know, but it's just so hard to identify because it happens so quick, like, like buried in a bunch of other thoughts. And you know, we're not something that, um, I've been talking a lot about lately and, like I always hear my husband say it, but he's like you really need to question the validity of your thoughts, like from as objective of a standpoint as possible, you know. So if the thought is I'm not as good as this person, okay, well, like, let's stop there and like is that actually true?
Speaker 1:Yeah, how much do you really even know this person?
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I really wasn't that familiar with this person at all. It was the first time that I ever interacted with their methods anyway. And it's just they just happened to trigger something that was already living in me this fear that I wasn't enough.
Speaker 2:Right so you're right.
Speaker 1:Questioning the validity of the thought can help you to understand that the thought exists for a reason, but not necessarily because it's true Exactly.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and so then you can be more rooted in truth and also give yourself a more objective standpoint on you know what's going on, but also give yourself the opportunity to be loving, you know, because you were literally there to learn and so it's like, okay, well, how can I show myself love in this moment instead of showing myself like all the things that are going to make me feel bad about myself?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:You know, and so I think one of the keys there is just, um, yeah, noticing how you feel in that imposter syndrome, like moment, and starting to track, like what are the things I'm saying to myself that are leading to this feeling? Cause it's all the thoughts that are leading to the feeling, and then you can start to question the validity of those thoughts.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, I you bringing the, the being in alignment with love and loving yourself, is really profound.
Speaker 1:there's as I've immersed myself more in the science of sound and the art of sound, even yeah I've fallen in love with jonathan goldman and he has some really beautiful um equations that he puts out to help you understand the power of intention, and I think that it really applies here. So one of the equations is frequency plus intention equals healing. And then the other one that's similar to it, is visualization plus vocalization equals manifestation, which both of those things have to do with you know, a vibe, a frequency, and his, his whole point in that, which both of those things have to do with. You know, a vibe of frequency, and his, his whole point in that, which is basically what you're saying, or at least an element to what you're.
Speaker 1:You were just, you just brought up is that it really is less about what you're doing and more important about how you're showing up, which we talked about in the last episode yeah that you can say the same thing in a different feeling, in a different vibration and it is communicated differently, right, and it's experienced by the receiver differently and I can attest to this for sure from being somebody who was a. I was a performer for years. Right, I was saying for a living, and I sing the same songs every day. So it was the same songs, it was the same frequencies, coming from my same voice.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But the way that I showed up, like if I was really present or, in other words, really intentional and I usually it was something like I want the people here today to feel love, or to feel understood, or to feel held as I sing this song today, and when I showed up in that space, I always had more of an emotional response from the audience. They were always, I mean, I. It was amazing the kind of feedback that I got. Um, they were like I just felt so close to my loved ones that have passed, or I mean specifically like that me think of my husband. It made me, you know, think of all the times that I spent with my siblings and I just I love them so much and, you know, and it was a song that had maybe nothing to do with that, but the energy that I brought into sharing it is what they received.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 1:So that was also the detriment of imposter syndrome, because then what you're doing is you're embodying the energy of lack, yes, fear, and when you're moving in that energy, that's what's being communicated and that's that's what you're going to get back. Yeah, it's going to quote unquote prove to you that you can't do what you want to do because you're going to be attracting more of the same right right, the negativity, the fear, the things that you don't want.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's going to all just manifest yeah, I mean, I guess, down to like the simplest form, all of everything is always just energy, right?
Speaker 3:and especially with other humans. It's all just a big old exchange of energy, and so you have to think. Even your thoughts hold energy and the things you say to yourself are very important, and that's an energetic exchange within yourself. And so if you're starting to lean into looking at and putting energy towards all the things that you don't have, it's going to put you in that state of lack and that's not going to feel good, right? So then it becomes more easy to understand why you're not going to be good at something which really perpetuates the whole idea of imposter syndrome, right? It proves it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you think right See, I told you I can't do it. Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 3:It's like yeah, because you're in that loop, that's where you are, that's where your attention is focused, that's where your energy is going. So it's really about becoming conscious of shifting that energy so that it's working in a direction that's good for you. And there's always another way to look at things. Right Like every, there's always two sides to the coin. There's always someone else's perspective or, you know, there's always another way of what.
Speaker 3:There's like a billion ways to slice a cake, or cut a pie or something like that, yeah but a way that you can look at things too is like, let's say, for instance, with this example again, this person is so good at what they're doing. I don't know as much, I'm not as knowledgeable, which isn't exactly true, by the way which isn't that wild yeah, yeah. Of course it's not 100% true, because it just wasn't like even that valid right.
Speaker 3:So another thing that could have been swapped out or said instead was I'm learning and I'm getting better literally right now, in this moment, and that is so much more of an empowering thought because it's moving you forward, but it's also like that is actually true, right, and that's you giving to yourself. And I think the other thing that's really important with imposter syndrome is because it pops up. I mean, like here's the thing are you gonna have imposter syndrome like 20 years from now and like you're the one that's facilitating a breathwork thing, but at the same level of like what you were?
Speaker 1:learning today. No, I mean, I probably will always bump into the opportunity to experience it, because I hope that I will continue to yeah, expand myself. Yeah, yeah, that kind of comes with it.
Speaker 3:But there's kind of like there's a point that we all get to. Let's say, we've been at a job for like five, ten years and what we do we know, we're good at it, we could do it with our eyes closed, yeah I see what you're saying.
Speaker 3:So, like imposter syndrome is not going to pop up around that so much anymore, right, but it's probably going to pop up in other places where, like, you're not as familiar or well versed with whatever it is you're doing. And so, because that's such a pattern, what if we just completely rebranded this, instead of it being like imposter syndrome, what if you just told yourself I'm a beginner and allowed yourself to just be a beginner, yeah, I'm just learning, yeah, and like what's?
Speaker 1:wrong with that. You know what I mean. Yeah, I was thinking about the same, like we with children with kids, we can learn so much from watching the way that they interact with life. Yeah, because when they've picked something up for the first time or they're practicing something, all we do is celebrate, yeah, their, their hunger for discovery and their curiosity and their you know their and their lack of fear or holding back and sharing it and being you know telling everybody like they're always so pumped too, yeah exactly Like they always feel so good, and I think that's also just like human nature is, like when you're learning and you're progressing forward, you feel good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. And and yet, when we are practicing something or we pick up something new, if we're not good at it, immediately we're like we feel shame or some form of some form of negative feelings, or I should say feelings that maybe, uh, yeah, don't make us feel good. And it's really interesting I mean, watching kids is is so it's an educational experience about who you're, who you really are and how we really are, before we start to judge ourselves, before we start to pick up little signals of how we're supposed to be quote, unquote, right, and what's good and what's bad, quote, unquote, and what's acceptable and what's not.
Speaker 1:And yeah, so you're right, there's nothing but reason to celebrate when you're trying. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I mean, how are you supposed to just be like great at something straight out of the gates? You would never expect that of your child or any kid or anybody who's just trying their best to learn Like even if it was another, like a friend or whatever, you're never going to be down on them for not knowing something 100% the first time they do it. Yeah. So why would you be that way to yourself?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And if we're, if we're comfortable with the uh, the idea that we're always going to be learning and there's always more to know and always room for expansion, then, um, if your motive is to prove that you know the most, or that you're the best, or and I'm saying, prove to yourself, right which you might again be saying I'm proving this to the world or whatever, If you think that that's, that's a prerequisite before you can just fully immerse yourself in it and show up in it and occupy that space, I should say, um, yeah, that's going to, that's going to be a problem, but right, if you can fall in love with what it is that you're doing and do it for the love of that thing, then it no longer becomes about proving anything and it just becomes about embodying again, embodying love and that frequency of connectedness and wanting to serve people, and you know what I mean. Yeah, it's a totally different ball game when you're and you can even practice this experiment with it like when you find yourself about to engage in your work, whatever it is, or your art or whatever, and you catch yourself in the thoughts or in the experience of not being enough, or however you want to put it, with imposter syndrome, to just pause and remind yourself why you started in the first place and why you're doing it and maybe, maybe you'll be like, I don't know, maybe this
Speaker 1:isn't where I want to be and that's a whole different conversation. But, you know, working with coaches, working with musicians, working with people who are obviously have it, who obviously have a desire to do something important and be better versions of themselves and grow and help people grow, and all that and it's something that I'm it just seems like the perfect antidote, right To say, okay, but if you're writing this song, are you writing it so someone will hear it and have a specific experience? Because that's not going to be as impactful as if, as it would be if you could just step into the experience yourself and really open the essence of who you are up to it and imbue it with that. I mean, that's the kind of work that is transformational and that people experience. More than the actual words that you say or the melody that you produce or the example that you're trying to be. It's more an experience of who you are.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think too there's like, as we talk about the energy around all of this, there's energy in words and if you think about the word imposter, that's pretty intense, yeah, it's, it's really aggressive and so. And then also, syndrome right makes it as though there's a problem Like an illness or something, right, and so there's a lot of just energy baked into that language alone. And so that's why I say I think it's important to even just rebrand it and even as you're experiencing it, like, let's just stop saying we have imposter syndrome and just say like, right now I'm uncomfortable as a beginner.
Speaker 3:But, how can I start to make myself feel more confident? What are the thoughts that I can have to make myself more confident? Because really, that's what it is Like you're not an imposter. It's not like you're out there trying to position yourself as something. You're not an imposter. It's not like you're, you know, out there trying to position yourself as something you're not. You're a beginner at something that you're trying to become, and that's how we all become. Something right Is at the beginning, and so I kind of feel like that term in itself imposter syndrome is kind of a way of like slapping yourself in the face. Yeah, because you're saying you're accusing yourself of something that's actually just not even true. You know, then that would mean everybody's an imposter when they first started doing whatever they're doing, and that's not.
Speaker 1:That doesn't actually feel correct in any sense, right, yeah, and and when you take it up, when you take it up a few notches in consciousness, then you realize that that's just a silly thought anyway, because we're all the same, we're all connected, nobody's better or worse, and we all have access to the same information always, because the greatest source of all is something that you don't have to earn, right it's, it more takes intention and a desire than anything else.
Speaker 1:But, yeah, and being the, the, the word that you gave of beginners, I love that because in a sense, we are all beginners and we always will be, because there's an infinite amount of knowledge, there's an infinite amount of skill and experience and expression, and that can be really exciting and I think it's fun, a fun thought experiment, I suppose, to just approach life as if you're a beginner, always pose to just approach life as if you're a beginner always, because then it keeps you in that golden space of inadequacy, of like inadequacy.
Speaker 1:Inadequacy has a I think it has a charge to it, a connotation, if you will, that's not positive, yeah, or helpful or supportive, but really it just means that there's you know you can't like there's always room for improvement, always room for improvement, and I don't think that it serves anyone for for for you to show up and say I don't need to know more, I don't need help, I have nothing else to learn. I can't take criticism or feedback because I don't need it, because you know once you've all met that person before and how much did you like them?
Speaker 3:Well, and if we're honest, how enjoyable were they? Like you know once you've all met that person before and how much did you like them? Well and, if we're honest, how enjoyable were they? Like you know, how much were they growing and evolving well, that's exactly it, I think.
Speaker 1:The moment that we start to try to lie to ourselves and convince ourselves that, uh, we know enough, we know it all, that we've arrived, that's the point when we really are more in trouble than if we are able to recognize that there's always gonna be room for expansion.
Speaker 3:The other thing that comes to mind, too, is that this is gonna resonate differently with different people, because there's some personality types that really, really, really value knowledge, right. There's other personality types that really value relationships, or you know feelings, and you know people are all different, right. So for those that are very deeply connected to seeing value or knowledge as value, this could be a little bit more challenging, because it's like this need to feel like they know everything in order to be valuable, and so I think that that kind of adds another element of complexity for those individuals. But everything that we're talking about still applies here, because it's like you cannot be born with all of the knowledge and the information you know from. You know your birth date.
Speaker 3:It's something that you have to build, right, and that's also where all of the value and wisdom comes from from our elders is, because they've had more time and experience, and that's what it takes. You know it does take time and it does take experience. But if you cut yourself off from thinking I don't know enough, or you know I'm not good enough because I'm, you know, not a hundred percent sure that I know what I'm doing, then you're going to stop yourself and you're never going to actually continue to progress forward.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I do think that if we over prioritize intellectual wisdom, we cut ourselves off immediately, right, because I think I think maybe not all of us, but I want to believe that all of us have at least had an encounter with the experience of just divine wisdom, where you're quiet and you're still and you're centered, and suddenly there's a download of information Like an epiphany, yeah, and you experience it, not just in like words and thought and the intellectual side, but there's an experienceiphany, yeah, and you experience it, not just in like words and thought and and the intellectual side, but there's an experience of it, you feel it in your body and in your field, outside of your body.
Speaker 1:It's this just and it's immediate, and you're not reading and you're not studying, you're just being still and receiving. And that is powerful right, receiving, and that is powerful right. That's that's when we get to receive the message and then be the message, like I've been saying, um, which is when we over um, put uh, overvalue in intellect. Then we don't open ourselves up to that like the feeling right if you will which is the whole universe.
Speaker 1:The universe is singing. The universe communicates in codes and vibration. That is what we all are. Sound is just. It's just vibration that you can hear, but everything is in motion, right? So these things that are communicated like you can see that this has happened when you're in a space with somebody else, it's less impactful. I believe it will always be less impactful what you say than how you are being and how you're showing up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's like that saying people won't remember what you said, but they'll remember how you made them feel.
Speaker 1:Huge, especially if you're listening to this and you're somebody who has a vision for yourself, where you really want to help people or you want to have, like I said, occupy a space in a way that's bigger than you believe that you have capacity to, or just big in general, I feel like that could be a really beautiful guiding star. That people will not remember what you say. They're not going to remember your. I mean, they might, right, but just for the sake of of honoring that quote, they might not remember the lyrics perfectly, they might not remember, uh, the way or the words that you said when you taught something, or every word in your book, but they're going to walk away from the experience of you and that's what's going to resonate. That's what they're going to pick up and walk away with, more than what you said or what you specifically the specific transaction, the materialistic transaction, if you will Right.
Speaker 3:Or, on an even more dramatic level, if you get so caught up in imposter syndrome that you just don't even do the thing that person that you could have helped or supported, or that thing that you could have created just won't be.
Speaker 3:It won't exist. It won't happen because you stopped yourself, and I think that happens so often, and that's where it's like. It's actually really sad. You know how much potential dies in people because of this, and so I think that's why it's so important, too, to just like start to support yourself in seeing what you do have and shifting your own energy. That way, it can allow you to create and move forward and learn, because what you're wanting to do is great for you, right, but it's also probably gonna be great for someone else too, and you have to think about how that's actually hindering others as well. I mean, that's that's like the real talk, and that's what we talk about with so many of like the coaches that we support. It's like if you can't get out of your own way, imagine who is out there right now that really needs you and just isn't going to have your help or your support because you couldn't get out of your own way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's, that's. That's a little fuel to the flame, doesn't it Fuel to the fire? Okay, yeah, well, anyway, there's um. The thing is is, I think, getting comfortable, in a sense, with this experience of inadequacy is. It's important because when you see it come up first of all, you can just immediately say the reason that I'm experiencing this is because I'm pushing myself and I'm growing, and so when quote unquote imposter syndrome shows up, you can even take a moment and be like this is actually a testament to me becoming better and showing up and getting uncomfortable, and so you can make friends with it and say oh, I see you. The fact that you're showing up is a good sign. I don't have to listen and believe all the intrusive thoughts. If you will, though I did, I listened to them in tensionally right, like what thoughts am I having and why?
Speaker 1:Like yeah, identify them identify them and root them out.
Speaker 1:And that's gonna. I mean it's that's a lifetime thing. Some of the things are really ingrained and that's fine, I'm fine with that. You know, I was really, eventually was grateful to understand the inner dialogue that existed because, again, if I want to expand myself even more, then I'm going to put myself in a position to have feedback and maybe get criticism and have people outside of myself maybe saying who do you think you are?
Speaker 1:And if I don't have that stability and that safety within myself to first of all allow them to have their experience and whatever, but also just that foundational space, um, space of love. And I'm not doing this to know everything, I'm not afraid to get it wrong. I'm doing this because I love it and because I love life and because I want to help people, and that becomes the foundation and that becomes my experience. So then, when someone says something to challenge my knowledge or my wisdom or my ability, I'm like maybe, hopefully, we'll be able to say maybe you're right, maybe I do need to learn more, maybe I did get that wrong, maybe I should look into this or do something different.
Speaker 3:Right, but who's going to evolve from that situation? You or the person who said that Right? You know, cause it's easy to be standing outside the ring and criticize, but it's another to be in it and to be receiving the criticism. Yeah, because you're also in the experience. You're learning through that, that experience, you know. So that that's something that um brené brown talks about a lot yeah, I love that with vulnerability.
Speaker 1:What is it's like? Don't accept criticism. If you're not in the ring with me, then I don't accept your criticism or something like that.
Speaker 2:Like why would?
Speaker 1:I, yeah or yeah. If someone's not in the ring with you or in the in the arena I think is the word that she uses the arena. They're not in the arena with you, then their feedback isn't for you. It's not important, it's not something you need to pay attention to, right? Yeah, okay, anything else?
Speaker 3:for now this feels good, but I mean there will always be more because, we're going to continue to learn and grow and evolve. Yeah, yeah don't. I mean I'm not going to pretend that we just, you know, put the cherry on top of imposter syndrome and how to overcome it.
Speaker 3:Like that is the end. All be all, just listen to this podcast and you're good. No, but this is just a little tidbit of like based off of, obviously, our experience and things that we've learned that can hopefully like help you just see things, see imposter syndrome through a new light and give you some guidance on how to navigate it love it okay, bye bye.
Speaker 2:If you found any of what we shared today helpful, please share this with a friend, and we would so appreciate a rating and review to help us grow and reach more people. Also, please feel free to send us any feedback and questions. You can find us on Instagram. Kendra can be found at Kendra Dyer Crabb, k-e-n-d-r-a-d-y-e-r-c-r-a-b-b, and you can find myself at Lauren Pena Dial, and it's L-A-U-R-E-N-P-E-N-A-D-I-A-L. Thanks so much for listening and I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day.