Never Diet Again with Max Lowery

Emotional Eating? (The Truth No One Tells You)

• Max Lowery

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Think you’re not an emotional eater? Think again.


In this powerful episode, Max Lowery exposes what emotional eating really looks like — and why it’s the hidden reason so many women over 40 struggle to lose weight, even when they’re eating healthy.

You’ll learn:

  • How emotional eating shows up (it’s more common than you think)

  • The PREP framework to uncover what food is actually doing for you

  • Why diets fail without addressing your emotions

  • How to break the emotional eating habit loop without relying on willpower

  • A 4-step strategy to meet emotional needs in healthier ways


If you’ve ever eaten when you weren’t hungry and felt guilty after, this episode will shift everything.


Watch my The Cravings & Fat-Burning Masterclass:  https://www.neverdietagain.uk/register-podcast

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/max.lowery/

Book a Food Freedom Breakthrough Call: https://calendly.com/maxlowerycoaching/food-freedom-breakthrough-call

Max Lowery:

Have you ever said I'm not an emotional eater? But I do eat when I'm stressed, bored or overwhelmed, and sometimes I just eat when I'm not hungry. Well, guess what? That's emotional eating. And the average emotional eater consumes an extra 3,000 to 5,000 calories every single week. That's enough to put on a pound of body fat every week.

Max Lowery:

So in this video, you're going to learn why emotional eating is often misunderstood, how to uncover why you eat instead of just focusing on what you eat, and the exact same four-step process I use with my clients to stop emotional eating without relying on willpower and motivation. How do you create a life that allows you to lose weight, eat the foods that you love and sustain the results? Over the last 10 years, I've helped thousands of people do exactly that. I'm Max Lowry. I'm an author, personal trainer and weight loss coach. In this podcast, I'm going to share my top tips and tricks from within my one-on-one coaching program. It's my goal to give you the tools and understanding so that you never diet again. But before I show you how to stop emotional eating, let's be honest about what it actually is, because most people misunderstand it completely. A few months ago, I ran a survey with over 250 women and I asked them questions on weight loss and dieting and most of them said that they weren't emotional eaters. But then the very same people also admitted to eating when they were bored, eating when they were stressed. They would use food as a procrastination tool or they would reward themselves after a long, hard day with a glass of wine or a bar of chocolate. Most people think emotional eating is when you're crying into a tub of ice cream after a breakup or binging until you feel sick, but in reality it's far more subtle and far more common. Here are a few real-life examples. You open the fridge at 4pm, not because you're hungry, but because you're avoiding a stressful email. You grab a snack mid-afternoon even though you've just had lunch, because you're bored and overwhelmed. You pour a glass of wine or grab a chocolate because you feel you deserve it, because you've just had lunch, because you're bored and overwhelmed. You pour a glass of wine or grab a chocolate because you feel you deserve it, because you've had a hard, stressful day. You eat crisps or cookies mindlessly while watching TV, not even tasting it, just zoning out. Or maybe food is your happy moment in a day when nothing else brings you joy. This isn't about discipline. This isn't about willpower. This is about emotional needs that are going unmet. So where does this come from?

Max Lowery:

Emotional eating is not your fault. It's a learned behavior. Often it starts in childhood. Maybe your parents gave you sweets when you were upset or celebrated good grades with ice cream. Over time, your brain gets wired like this Feel something, eat something, feel sad, eat Stressed, eat Happy. Eat. Food becomes comfort, escape and even love, and if no one teaches you to process those emotions in a different way, you can often carry that pattern into adulthood. So if any of this sounds familiar, you're not broken. You're just running an emotional program that was started decades ago. But here's the good news you can unlearn this learned behavior. In this next section, I'll show you exactly how to identify what food is doing for you and how to break the emotional eating cycle for good.

Max Lowery:

So let's talk about the number one reason that diets keep failing you. They only focus on what you eat, what to eat, what to cut out, what rules to follow. They never go deeper, they never ask why you eat in the first place. And that approach only works when life is easy and perfect, when you're not stressed, when your routine is effortless when motivation is high and nothing gets in the way. But as soon as life happens whether it's work, stress, exhaustion, arguments, hormones, overwhelm it all goes out the window. And the worst part about all this, you blame yourself. You think I just don't have the discipline. I always mess things up, there's something wrong with me, when in reality, you've just been given the wrong tools.

Max Lowery:

Trying to lose weight by only focusing on what you eat is like trying to pass your driving test going to a motorbike instructor. Sure, they're similar, kind of related you learn to steer, accelerate and the rules of the road. But there's a fundamental difference, and that difference guarantees failure. To truly succeed, you need the right instruction for your specific challenge. When it comes to weight loss, that means going deeper. You must address the why behind your eating. Why do you overeat when you're not hungry? Why do you turn to food when you're overwhelmed? Why do you give up even when you really want it? Why do you sabotage yourself when you're so close to progress? This is where the power lies, because when you uncover the why, you don't need willpower anymore, you don't need motivation, you won't need another diet and you start to understand yourself. When you understand yourself, you start to regain control and the weight comes off, no matter what happens in your life. So let's address the why and go deeper.

Max Lowery:

I want you to ask yourself this one powerful question what is food doing for you? Because if you have a habit of eating when you're not actually hungry, then food is meeting a need that isn't physical. It's meeting an emotional need, and this is where the PREP test comes in P-R-E-P. It helps you figure out what's really going on. Prep stands for painkiller, reward, escape and punishment. Each one of these has a driving emotion behind it, so let's break it down. Painkiller Driving emotions are sadness, hurt, guilt and loneliness.

Max Lowery:

You're not hungry. You're hurting inside. Food becomes a way to make the pain stop. For example, you feel lonely on a Friday night. You open a tub of ice cream, not because your belly needs it, but because your heart does Think of food like a plaster. It's like trying to. Your belly needs it, but because your heart does Think of food like a plaster. It's like trying to cover up a cut, but it doesn't heal the wound. Reward Driving emotions are exhaustion, pride, success, relief.

Max Lowery:

You've had a long, hard day. You're mentally wiped out. Food feels like a treat you've earned. For example, you've worked all day, put the kids to bed and now you're on the sofa with a glass of wine and a chocolate bar. You tell yourself I deserve this, I've had a hard day. But the truth is you don't need a reward, you need a rest. Escape.

Max Lowery:

Driving emotions are stress, overwhelm, anxiety and boredom. You're feeling trapped in your own head. Food is your way out, your temporary break from life. For example, you have a pile of emails and your brain feels like a mush, so you head to the kitchen and start snacking. You're not hungry, you just want to stop thinking. Food becomes a pause button for your brain. And finally, punishment.

Max Lowery:

Driving emotions are shame, anger, self-loathing. This one is deep and painful. You're upset with yourself. Maybe you feel like a failure and instead of showing yourself kindness, you use food to hurt yourself even more. For example, you ate something off plan at lunch so you say screw it and binge at night. You eat until you feel sick and then hate yourself for it. It's not just eating, it's self-sabotage. Every time you eat without hunger, you're trying to fix a feeling and an emotional need. And once you understand the feeling driving the eating, you can start to meet the need in a different way, a better way, a way that actually works. This is the first step to breaking free awareness. In this next section, I'll show you how these patterns become automatic and how to break the cycle for good.

Max Lowery:

So we have something called the habit loop, because most emotional eating doesn't feel like a choice, it feels like it just happens. And that's because of the habit loop. The habit loop has three parts the trigger something happens, a feeling, a thought, a situation. The behavior you eat, even when you're not hungry. And the emotional need you feel better for a little while. This loop repeats itself so many times that your brain starts to run it on autopilot.

Max Lowery:

So let's look at a real life example. You're working late, so the trigger is you feel stressed and overwhelmed. The behavior you grab some chocolate or crisps. The emotional need you feel them open of calm, a break a little, ah. So your brain starts to learn stress equals, eat, equals, feel better. Do this enough times and it becomes automatic. The next time you're stressed you don't even think. You just reach for food. It's not logical, it's not hunger, it's just your brain following a well-worn path.

Max Lowery:

But here's the issue you can't always control the trigger. You can't stop stress or avoid every hard day or delete every emotion, and the emotional need must be fulfilled. So the only control you have is your reaction or your behavior to the trigger. And guess what? There are many ways which you can get the emotional need met which don't involve food. This is the key. And guess what? There are many ways which you can get the emotional need met which don't involve food. This is the key. Diets fail because they rip away the only way that you know how to fulfill that emotional need, which is food. They get you to focus on willpower, motivation and just to white knuckle it. But if the trigger is still there and the emotional needs still exist, you will at some point go back to what you know, because the emotional need must be fulfilled.

Max Lowery:

Really quick one for me. Guys, I don't run ads on this podcast and I do aim to give you as many high value tips and tricks as I can for free. All I ask in return is that you help me spread the word. That way I can help as many people as I can to never diet again. The way to do that is to rate, review and share this podcast. A review will only take 30 seconds, but it would mean the world to me, but more importantly, it could help change the life of someone else. So here's what to do instead.

Max Lowery:

Instead of trying to just stop eating, we teach our clients how to break the habit loop and replace the behavior with something else. The same trigger is still there, you still feel the same emotion, but instead of food you choose something new, something that actually helps. It could be journaling on your thoughts, going for a short walk, talking to a friend, listening to music, doing some deep breathing. This isn't about perfection. You won't get it right every time, but with practice you'll start to rewire the loop, and that's when the real shift starts to happen, not by forcing yourself, but by teaching your brain a better way to get the emotional need fulfilled. So I know I said that you can't control the triggers, but sometimes you can.

Max Lowery:

We talked about how triggers like stress, boredom, sadness, overwhelm often feel out of your control, and that's true. You can't stop your boss from sending you a stressful email, you can't pause your hormones, you can't control how your kids behave or when life gets chaotic, but sometimes you do have more power than you think. Let's say, you often eat when you feel lonely. That's a real emotional need connection Instead of just trying to stop eating. Ask yourself how can I bring more connection into my life? Maybe that means calling a friend instead of reaching for food, joining a walking group, class or community, telling someone close to you how you're really feeling, and that way you're not just avoiding the trigger, you're actually meeting the need that food was trying to soothe. Or maybe your trigger is overwhelm, especially with your children. You find yourself stress eating by 3pm just to cope. So here's a question I want you to ask yourself when can I ask for help? Can your partner take over bedtime twice a week so you can decompress? Can you build in 10 minutes of quiet time after school pickup, no guilt attached? Can you outsource or say no to something that's draining you? If you know what triggers your emotional eating, ask yourself can I change the situation, not just my reaction to it? Because every time you meet the emotional need at the source, you weaken the habit loop, you grow confidence and you stop relying on food to get you through the day. So to summarize, here's the four-step process to stop emotional eating for good.

Max Lowery:

Step number one identify your triggers. Start noticing what's really causing your urge to eat. It could be a stressful day at work, a fight with your partner, feeling bored at night or overwhelmed from the kids. You're not just randomly eating. There is always a trigger. You could keep a journal, write down the time, situation and what you were feeling before you reach for food.

Max Lowery:

Step number two understand the emotional need. Once you spot the trigger, ask yourself what do I actually need right now? Use the prep test. Is it a painkiller? Are you trying to feel less sad, hurt or guilty? Is it a reward? Are you looking for a little joy after a hard day? Is it an escape? Are you avoiding something stressful or overwhelming? Or is it a punishment? Are you being hard on yourself? Name the emotion. The more specific you are, the more power you have over it. You can use the feelings wheel to get specific with the emotion you are feeling. Step number three create a needs list.

Max Lowery:

Now that you know the emotional need, find a better way to meet it. Make a list of three to five go-to tools that don't involve food, for example, go for a 10 minute walk journal on how you're feeling. Call a friend or family, do deep breathing for 60 seconds, listen to music or move your body. Remember the emotional need doesn't go away. It must be fulfilled, but you don't have to eat to fulfill it. Step number four repeat with compassion. You won't get this perfect. You will turn to food again. This isn't the point. This process isn't like flicking an on-off switch. It's like gradually turning a dimmer switch. Over time it happens less and less and less. When it does happen, it's not as bad and the gaps between it happening are wider and wider and wider and slowly but surely, you start to take back control. Rinse and repeat these four steps repeatedly and with practice and patience and compassion you will reduce emotional eating. And remember you could be consuming 3,000 to 5,000 calories per week with emotional eating. Reducing your calories by that much every week is going to drastically increase your chance of being in a calorie deficit, which means weight loss is going to be much, much easier.

Max Lowery:

So look, what I've shared with you today is not easy. In fact, it's really hard. Many of you watching this have been emotionally eating for years, maybe even decades. This isn't just a habit, it's a coping strategy. It's part of how you deal with life. So I want to make this very clear Even our paying clients, who have expert support, coaching, accountability and a proven system, still struggle with this. They don't get it perfect, they still turn to food.

Max Lowery:

So if you're trying to do this alone of course it's hard, of course you feel stuck this doesn't mean you're a failure. It means this stuff is complicated and you're human and look, I know you. You're successful, driven, intelligent. You crushed it in every other area of your life your career, your family, your responsibilities but when it comes to food, you feel out of control. You feel like you've tried everything and nothing sticks. You feel like this is the one thing you just can't figure out. But one of the most liberating and empowering decisions you can make is to say I can't do this on my own, not because you're weak, but because this isn't about just trying harder and using willpower. It's about having the right support, tools and guidance, and that's exactly what we give our clients.

Max Lowery:

So if this resonates with you and you're finally ready to break free from emotional eating for good, then I highly suggest to book in for a food freedom breakthrough call. On that call, we'll find out exactly what's keeping you stuck, what's actually driving your eating habits and how we can help you create a healthier and happier relationship with food. You don't have to do this alone. Stop doing the same thing over and over, inspecting different results. Click the link below to book in the call.

Max Lowery:

But here's the thing Everything you learned in this video won't work if your body is still stuck in sugar burning mode. Because if your blood sugar is constantly crashing, if you're always craving carbs, if your energy is all over the place, then emotional eating isn't just psychological, it's also physiological. And that's why the next step is resetting your body to burn fat for fuel, so you can take back control of your cravings, hunger and energy dips. Watch this video here and I'll show you exactly how to reset your body to burn fat and improve your metabolic flexibility. Trust me, you do not want to miss this video.