Never Diet Again with Max Lowery

#82 The Real Reason You Can’t Stop Scrolling, Snacking, or Spending

• Max Lowery

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You already know what to do:
Eat better.
Move more.
Sleep earlier.

So why do you keep finding yourself in the kitchen at 9pm, glass of wine in hand, scrolling your phone and promising tomorrow will be different?

This episode dives deep into the truth most diets, trainers, and wellness influencers never address:
You're not lazy. You're not broken.
You're avoiding.

In this powerful episode of Never Diet Again, Max pulls back the curtain on the real reason you feel stuck, emotional avoidance disguised as bad habits.

You’ll discover:

✅Why overeating, scrolling, drinking, and shopping aren’t your problems—they’re your coping strategies
✅How guilt, shame, stress and loneliness create a cycle you can’t break with willpower
✅Why trying to “control” your habits only makes it worse
✅The 3-level framework to break free—without needing more discipline

If you’ve ever said:

  • “I know what to do, I just don’t do it.”
  • “I fall apart at night.”
  • “I’ve tried everything and nothing works...”

 This episode is for you.

It's not about being perfect.

 It’s about finally understanding yourself so you can stop numbing and start healing.


Watch my The Cravings & Fat-Burning Masterclass:  https://www.neverdietagainmethod.uk/register-podcast

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/max.lowery/

Book a Food Freedom Breakthrough Call: https://www.neverdietagainmethod.uk/call-ig

Max Lowery:

Let's be honest. You already know what to do. Eat better, move more, sleep more. But you keep finding yourself doing the opposite. You say you'll stop stacking at night and then you're in the kitchen again. You tell yourself you'll only have one glass of wine, but then the bottle's empty. You promise to stop scrolling to go to bed early to get up and walk, but somehow you don't. You spend money on things you don't need. You work late even when you're exhausted. You put off the things that matter most. And every time you do it, you feel worse. The guilt kicks in. The frustration builds. You start blaming yourself. Why can't I just get it together? And that shame makes the cycle even stronger. Because the worse you feel, the more you need the behavior to escape how you feel. So you eat again, you scroll again, you drink, spend, distract, repeat. It's a vicious cycle, one that makes you feel broken, weak, and out of control. But here's the truth: you are not broken. You're avoiding. Most people try to fix this by using willpower. They try to fight the behavior, restrict harder, push more, tighten control. And when life feels easy, that might work for a bit. When things are calm, when you're rested, when nothing stressful is happening, you can hold it together. But the moment life throws something at you, stress, conflict, exhaustion, those same patterns come creeping back. Because willpower can't fix what's happening underneath. So in this episode, I'm going to explain exactly what's going on here, why you keep falling into the same patterns even when you know better. And most importantly, I'll show you how to break free for good. How do you create a life that allows you to lose weight, eat the foods that you love, and sustain the results? Over the last 10 years, I've helped thousands of people do exactly that. I'm Max Lowry. I'm an author, personal trainer, and weight loss coach. In this podcast, I'm going to share my top tips and tricks from within my one-on-one coaching program. It's my goal to give you the tools and understanding so that you never diet again. So let's go deeper into what's actually happened. Because when you find yourself eating, scrolling, drinking, shopping, or working endlessly, you're not broken, you're coping. These habits aren't random. They're coping strategies. They exist to help you avoid or suppress negative emotions that you don't want to feel. Every single behavior that you struggle to control, whether it's overeating, procrastinating, overspending, is serving a purpose. It's helping you escape something uncomfortable that's going on beneath the surface. Just think about it. You're stressed after work, you reach for food. You're lonely, you pour a glass of wine. You're overwhelmed, you scroll until your brain goes numb. You're anxious, so you clean, you work late, you do anything that stops you from having to sit with it. These aren't just bad habits, they're emotional avoidance strategies. They're your mind's way of saying, I don't want to feel this. So what are these emotions that you're running from? For most people, it's some combination of fear, sadness, anger, guilt, shame, frustration, regret, or loneliness. So let's break that down. Fear is the voice that says, what if I fail again? It keeps you frozen, overthinking every decision. Sadness is the heavy feeling of loss, disappointment, or rejection. Instead of letting yourself feel it, you eat or drink to try to lift it. Anger shows up when you feel powerless or treated unfairly. But because anger feels scary or unacceptable, you suppress it and it turns inward as frustration or resentment. Guilt whispers, you should be doing better. It drives perfectionism, overworking, and never feeling good enough. Shame goes even deeper. It's not I did something wrong, it's there's something wrong with me. That's the emotion that keeps people trapped in secrecy and self-sabotage. Frustration builds when life doesn't match your expectations. You know what you want, but you can't seem to make it happen. Loneliness might be the hardest one. Surrounded by people yet feeling unseen, unheard, and disconnected. That's when the phone, the snacks, or the shopping cart come out. These emotions are part of being human, but most people have never learned how to process them, so they suppress, distract, or numb them instead. So let's strip this back and talk science in simple language. An emotion is not just a feeling in your head, it's a biological response in your body designed to get your attention and drive action. When something happens, a thought, a memory, a conversation, your brain instantly checks, is this safe or dangerous? Is this good or bad for me? If it decides it's a threat or a challenge, it sends a message through your body in the form of an emotion. Fear increases your heart rate and floods your body with adrenaline, getting you ready to fight or run. Anger does something similar. It gives you energy to set boundaries or protect yourself. Sadness slows your body down, it helps you withdraw and reflect. Even guilt and shame serve a purpose. They push you to align with your values or repair relationships. So emotions are signals, built-in warning lights. They tell you that something in your environment or your inner world needs attention. They're part of your survival system, hardwired into your nervous system long before you could ever think your way through a problem. In other words, you don't choose your emotions. They happen automatically. And they exist for a very specific reason. For most of human history, emotions kept us alive. Fear stopped us from walking into danger. Anger helped us fight or protect what mattered. Sadness helped us slow down and heal. Even loneliness was a survival mechanism. It drove us back towards the tribe, toward connection. So the goal isn't to get rid of negative emotions. They're not bad. They're not weaknesses. They are information. That your body's saying, pay attention, something isn't working. And the problem is, the modern world and modern life has conditioned you to believe you shouldn't feel bad. That every uncomfortable feeling needs to be fixed, numbed, or avoided. So instead of listening to the signal, you silence it. You reach for food or your phone or work and anything that stops you from feeling the feelings. But when you do that, you also silence the opportunity for growth. Because emotions are not roadblocks, they're road signs. They're pointing you towards what needs to change, what needs to be healed, or what boundary needs to be set. Because the problem isn't that you have negative emotions. The problem is that you've learned to fear them. And when you fear your emotions, you disconnect from yourself. You ignore the messages that could move you forward. You stay stuck in the same loop, escaping, numbing, feeling guilty, then starting over again. But here's the shift I want you to make today. Your emotions aren't your enemy. They are your guide. And the fast you stop avoiding them, the faster you'll start changing your life. So now that you understand what's really going on and that your habits are coping strategies, let's talk about how those strategies actually show up. Because it's not always obvious. Avoidance doesn't always look destructive from the outside. You might look in control, you might even look successful, but deep down you're running from yourself. And here's the truth: most people aren't numbing with just one thing. It's usually a combination of all of them. But one or two of them will be your go-tos, the behaviors you turn to when things feel hard. And let's break them down. Number one, emotional eating. This is the most common one I see. Food becomes a quick fix for emotional discomfort. It gives you a short sense of comfort, distraction, or pleasure. You're not eating because you're hungry, you're eating because you're feeling something you don't want to feel. You've had a stressful day, and instead of allowing yourself to feel the stress, you reach for food. You feel lonely in the evening, so you eat to fill the void. You feel anxious, so you snack to calm your nerves. It's not about the food, it's about what the food gives you. Relief, escape, numbness. And the problem is that it never works for long. You eat to avoid discomfort, but when it's over, the discomfort is still there. But now with guilt and shame layered on top. And that guilt fuels the next cycle of overeating. And this is exactly why so many of you listening to this find it hard to lose weight and keep it off, and why diets will never work, because you never address this. Number two, alcohol. Alcohol is another way people try to quiet their internal world. A glass of wine after work becomes a signal to relax, switch off, and escape. But it's not about the drink itself. It's about wanting to change how you feel. You're trying to slow your mind down, silence the anxiety, or escape the sense of pressure. And for a few hours, it works. You feel lighter, calmer, disconnected from noise in your head. But what happens the next morning? The same emotions return. Only now with lower mood, less energy, and even more guilt. Alcohol becomes a short-term emotional regulator, but over time it disconnects you from your real emotional world completely, and you stop learning how to self-soothe naturally. Not only this, it's going to make long-term weight loss almost impossible. Number three, scrolling. This one is sneaky because it feels harmless, maybe even productive. You tell yourself you're just catching up on emails or learning or relaxing, but really you're avoiding silence. You can't sit still for five minutes without reaching for your phone. You scroll while watching TV, whilst eating, even whilst in bed. And you don't even realize what you're doing. You're filling every gap of your day with noise and stimulation. And it's not about the content, it's about escaping your own thoughts. Scrolling gives you the illusion of connection, but what it's really doing is disconnecting you from yourself. It keeps your nervous system in a constant state of stimulation. Dopamine hit after dopamine hit, so you never have to sit with discomfort, boredom, or silence. You can end up scrolling for three to four hours a day, then telling yourself you don't have the time to prioritize yourself. Number four, shopping. This one gives a dopamine hit too. The little rush when you click add to cart. It's not about what you're buying, it's about the temporary high that comes from doing something that feels like progress or control. In that moment, shopping becomes emotional relief. You feel powerful, in control, and momentarily happy. But then the high fades. You don't feel fulfilled. You feel empty, maybe even ashamed. So you chase it again. Buy, return, buy, return. It's the same emotional loop as overeating or drinking, just with a different flavor. Shopping, like the others, is an attempt to change how you feel without actually feeling it. Number five, overworking. This one is the hardest to spot because society rewards it. You tell yourself you're being productive, you're achieving, you're doing what needs to be done. But if you dig deeper, overworking is often a way to avoid stillness. Because stillness means you'd have to feel. You'd have to acknowledge the loneliness, the fear of failure, the self-doubt. So you fill every moment with activity. Work becomes your distraction, your identity, your comfort zone. You can't switch off because when you stop, all the emotions you've been avoiding catch up to you. And that feels unbearable. So you keep going. You tell yourself you're ambitious, but really you're running from yourself. Number six, reading. Even this one surprises people. Reading seems like a healthy habit, and it certainly can be. But for many people, it becomes another escape. You lose yourself in a story so you don't have to live your own. You use other people's worlds to avoid facing your own reality. Now there's nothing wrong with enjoying a book. That's not what I'm trying to say. But when reading becomes your main form of emotional relief, when you'd rather live in someone else's life rather than be present in your own, it's still avoidance. It's the same pattern, just disguised as something productive or good. And finally, number seven, binge watching Netflix. This one feels innocent. You tell yourself, I just need to switch off. You've had a long day, you're exhausted, and you just want to escape reality for a bit. You grab the remote, hit play, and before you know it, it's midnight and the credits are rolling in episode six. Sound familiar? It does for me. This isn't about the show, it's about disconnection. It's the easiest, most socially acceptable way to avoid feeling. You don't have to think, you don't have to feel, you don't have to face anything, you just get lost in someone else's story. But when the screen goes black, it hits. You feel empty, you feel guilty, and then you tell yourself, you'll just watch one episode the next night, but the cycle repeats. There's nothing wrong with watching a TV show. I watch them all the time. But again, when Netflix becomes your only emotional escape, it's no different from emotional eating or scrolling. It's just another way to avoid being with yourself. You're not resting, you're numbing. And when you do that night after night, you don't recharge, you disconnect. Because rest isn't about escaping life, it's about being present in it. And the truth is, the quiet you're running from is the exact place you'll find clarity, peace, and growth. Really quick one for me, guys. I don't run ads on this podcast, and I do aim to give you as many high-value tips and tricks as I can for free. All I ask in return is that you help me spread the word. That way I can help as many people as I can to never diet again. The way to do that is to rate, review, and share this podcast. A review will only take 30 seconds, but it would mean the world to me, but more importantly, it could help change the life of someone else. So every single one of these behaviors, food, alcohol, work, screen, shopping, even books are ways of not being with yourself. You're avoiding your thoughts, you're avoiding your emotions, you're avoiding the discomfort that comes with being still, quiet, and aware. Because sitting in discomfort feels foreign. It feels unsafe. You've been taught your whole life to move away from it, to fix it, distract from it, numb it. But the truth is, discomfort isn't dangerous. It's just uncomfortable. And it's in that discomfort where you actually grow. That's where clarity lives. That's where your power comes back. So the real question isn't how do I stop snacking, scrolling, or drinking? The real question is, what am I trying not to feel? And this is exactly what I teach my clients. So what's the cost of all this numbing and avoiding? Well, the avoidance starts small. It starts with little moments that seem harmless. You're stressed, so you have a glass of wine. You're lonely, so you grab a snack. You're tired, so you scroll. You tell yourself, I deserve this, and I'll get back on track tomorrow. And maybe you do for a day or two. But before long, the same patterns creep back in. And what started as a way to cope becomes the very thing that's keeping you stuck. At first, it's subtle. You feel a bit heavier, more sluggish. You're not sleeping as well. You're snapping more at your children and your partner. Your clothes feel tight. You start avoiding mirrors, avoiding social events, and avoiding photos. You tell yourself that you just need to be more disciplined and that next week you'll get your ac together. That it's just the busy season. But that busy season turns into years. And before you know it, you've been fighting the same battles for decades. You spent years trying to control food, years trying to silence the same inner voice that says you're failing again. You've been trying to fix your body when the real reason is what's going on beneath the surface. Because here's what I see again and again in the women that I work with. They wake up every morning feeling tired. They put everyone else first. They spend their days rushing, achieving, performing, and when it's finally quiet, that's when the discomfort shows up. That's when the fridge door opens. That's when the glass gets poured. That's when the scrolling starts. Because in that silence, all the emotions they've been avoiding start to surface. The guilt, the loneliness, the exhaustion, the feeling that something's missing. And it's easier to escape than to face it. The cost of this avoidance runs deep. It seeps into every part of your life. It impacts your body, your energy, your sleep, your metabolism, your hormones, your health. It impacts your mind with constant self-criticism, guilt, and frustration. It impacts your confidence, you stop showing up fully in life. It impacts your relationships because when you're disconnected from yourself, you disconnect from everyone else. It impacts your potential because you can't become the woman you want to be whilst avoiding the emotions that you're feeling. You can't grow while staying comfortable. And the worst thing about all of this is I speak to women in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and they're successful, capable, and intelligent women, but they're still fighting the same battles that they were fighting in their 20s. The same relationship with food, the same negative self-talk, the same all or nothing patterns. They spent decades trying to control their behavior instead of understanding it. Avoidance gives you short-term relief but long-term pain. You escape for a moment, but it always comes back stronger. You think you're protecting yourself from pain, but you're actually creating more of it. You think you're in control, but really you're controlled by the emotions you refuse to feel. And that's why awareness matters so much, because the moment you stop running, the moment you stop distracting, numbing, or suppressing, you actually start to heal. Avoidance keeps you stuck in survival mode. Awareness moves you into growth. But let's zoom out for a second, because this isn't just about you. This is about the world we're living in. We're built in a society that normalizes distraction. Overstimulation is now the baseline. Every quiet moment is filled with noise, music, messages, notifications, and screens. We've forgotten how to just be. Think about it. When was the last time you stood in a queue or sat on a train without picking up your phone? Most people can't even walk down the street without scrolling. We've become so uncomfortable with stillness that presence now feels unnatural. Our phones have become our escape hatch from reality. Social media has replaced real connection with surface level validation. Even relationships are moving online, filtered, edited, controlled. Everything's becoming a substitute for presence. And as technology and AI evolve, genuine human connection is fading. We're talking to screens more than we're talking to each other. We're living in a world that encourages us to disconnect from our bodies, our emotions, and our inner world. Without awareness, we start to drift into emotional numbness. We function, we perform, but we're not really alive. That's the danger of modern life. We become human doings instead of human beings. And if we don't stop to reconnect with ourselves, with nature, with other people, we risk losing the very thing that makes life feel meaningful: presence. So what are these negative emotions actually trying to teach you? Every emotion you're avoiding is there to teach you something. It's not there to punish you, it's there to guide you. When you understand what those emotions mean, you stop trying to silence them with food, wine, work, or scrolling, and you start listening. And when you listen, you grow. So what does this look like in real life? So stress and overwhelm. You're feeling overloaded at work. Everyone wants something from you. Deadlines, meetings, decisions. So you tell yourself, I'll just get through the week, but then the week turns into months. You don't delegate, you don't ask for help, and you definitely don't slow down because slowing down feels like failure. So instead, you use food to cope. You snack at your desk, you pour a glass of wine after work, or collapse in front of Netflix just to shut your mind off. But that stress is trying to tell you something. It's saying you need boundaries, you need rest, you can't keep running on empty. And if you listened, you start saying no, you delegate, you protect your energy. And we've got guilt. If you're feeling guilty for resting, guilty for saying no, guilty for putting yourself first, you work hard, you look after everyone else, and when it's finally time for you, you feel like you don't deserve it. So you push through, keep busy, and tell yourself I'll relax later. But later never comes. When you finally stop, the guilt is so loud that you eat or drink just to drown it out. But that guilt is trying to teach you that you matter too. It's showing you that you've tied your worth to productivity and approval. When you start to rest without guilt, your entire nervous system calms down. Your eating changes naturally because you no longer use food to give yourself permission to stop. If you're feeling lonely because the children have grown up, your partner works long hours, your friends are busy with their own lives, you're surrounded by people, but you feel disconnected. So you fill the silence with food, TV, or your phone. And that loneliness isn't weakness, it's your body craving connection. It's saying reach out, speak up, reconnect. And when you listen, you rebuild relationships, you find community, hobbies, laughter, and you stop using food to fill an emotional gap that only connection can fill. When you stop fighting your emotions and start learning from them, your entire life begins to change. Because once you address the root cause, the stress, the guilt, the perfectionism, the people pleasing in self-criticism, the behaviors fix themselves. This is what we do with our clients. They come in expecting calorie targets and food rules, and what they get is transformation from the inside out. We help them set boundaries instead of burning out, say no without guilt. Stop people pleasing and start protecting their peace. Let go of perfectionism and self-criticism. Rest without feeling lazy. Find joy, hobbies, and fulfillments again. Calm their nervous system and stop living in constant stress. Navigate urges, whether it's food, alcohol, scrolling, or shopping without shame or judgment. If you want to learn more about how we help our clients, check out the cravings of fat loss masterclass below. It goes into a lot of detail about exactly what it looks like to work with us. That's what happens when you stop avoiding emotions and start learning from them. You stop firefighting symptoms and start building freedom. You no longer just cope with life, you create it. And that is the real definition of growth. So, how do we fix this? What do you do about all of this? So now you understand why you're stuck and that this isn't about willpower and motivation, that these habits are coping strategies for emotions you're avoiding. So let's talk about how to fix it. And this is loosely the process we take clients through within Live360. It's not quick, it's not easy. You're not going to suddenly get this and be perfect because you've listened to this podcast. I want to make that very, very clear. And it's built on the same principles as ACT, acceptance and commitment therapy. I've simplified it into three levels. Each level builds on the one before. And the deeper you go, the more freedom you gain. So level one is awareness and acceptance. And I've been using the word awareness the whole way through because it is the first step. This is where change begins. You can't change what you don't see. If you're not aware of something happening, how on earth can you go about improving it? The first level is all about recognizing your emotional triggers and building awareness of your patterns with compassion and without judgment. You'll start noticing when do I eat, scroll, or drink, even when I'm not hungry or tired? What emotions or situations trigger that behavior? What am I trying to avoid or escape? Most people try to fix their behavior, like I need to stop snacking or I need to stop scrolling, but the behavior is the symptom, not the cause. At this level, the goal is to stop fighting yourself, to stop saying I shouldn't feel like this, and instead say I'm feeling this and that's okay. That's what acceptance means. You're not giving in, you're allowing what's already there to exist without reacting to it. That single shift from resistance to awareness can change everything. Because what you allow, you can process. What you suppress controls you. So we get our clients to use the feelings wheel to help identify how they feel in any given moment. And you can just Google feelings wheel to find that yourself. Once you have more awareness and you have accepted how you're feeling, we can move into level two, which is understanding and alignment. Every emotion carries a message. Stress might be telling you to slow down. Frustration might be telling you something needs to change. Guilt might be showing you where your values are misaligned. When you start listening to those messages, you move from emotional reaction to conscious choice. You start addressing the root cause instead of the symptom. And this is where alignment comes in. You ask yourself, who do I want to be? What are my values? What actions move me closer to that? If I'm feeling this way, what is that telling me that needs to change in my life? And this is where our clients realize that success isn't about willpower, it's about alignment. When your emotions, values, and actions line up, change becomes natural. You stop needing to control yourself and you start leading yourself. That's why our coaching focuses so much on things like setting boundaries instead of burning out, letting go of perfectionism and people pleasing, resting without guilt, managing stress and regulating your nervous system, finding joy, hobbies, and fulfillment again. Because when your life aligns with your values, your behavior takes care of itself. So level one, awareness and acceptance of the feelings. Level two, understand what those feelings mean and then align your actions based off what they mean. Level three, take action. So awareness and alignment mean nothing without action. This final level is about building the habits, the behaviors, and the environment that keep you consistent, even when life gets hard. This is where you take everything you've learned and actually start living it. You practice pausing before reacting. You breathe through discomfort instead of running from it. You take small actions that align with your future self, not your current mood. And this is where accountability becomes essential because your brain will always try to pull you back into comfort, back to food, wine, work, or your phone. And that's why having a coach or a community is so powerful. It keeps you honest, it helps you see your blind spots, and it holds you to the standard of the person you're becoming, not the one you're escaping. Our clients don't succeed because they're perfect, they succeed because they are supported. They have someone walking beside them, challenging their stories and keeping them aligned when life gets messy. So let's put it all together. Here is the full framework. Level one, awareness and acceptance. See your patterns, feel the emotions, stop resisting. Level two, understanding and alignment. Learn what your emotions are actually teaching you and start living by your values. Level three, action and accountability. Take aligned action even when it's uncomfortable and set your life up so that you are accountable to others. This is how you stop reacting and start creating. This is how you move from emotional chaos into emotional freedom. And it's why our clients see powerful, lasting transformations on top of weight loss. If there's one thing I want you to take from this conversation, it's this. This isn't about blame. It's not about guilt. It's not about shame. It's about understanding. Everything you've been doing, the snacking, the scrolling, the drinking, the overworking, all made sense at one point. It was your mind and body trying to protect you from discomfort. It's trying to help you cope when you didn't have better tools. But there's nothing wrong with you. You've just been trying to feel safe in the only ways you've been taught how. Real change doesn't come from judging yourself harder, it comes from meeting yourself with compassion and curiosity. Compassion says, of course I turned to food. Of course I felt overwhelmed. Of course I needed relief. Curiosity says, what is this trying to show me? What do I actually need right now? That's where awareness begins. And awareness is that first step. It is everything. It is the doorway to freedom. Because when you bring awareness to your emotions without judgment, you stop reacting, you start responding, and you move from control to connection and from survival to growth. So stop trying to fix yourself and start trying to understand yourself. That's where the real transformation begins. And this is exactly how we help our clients. If this conversation has hit home, if you're starting to recognize yourself and what I've described, then the next step is to explore what's really driving it for you. And that's exactly what we do within the food freedom breakthrough call. This is what I mean when I say we will help you identify what is the root cause. This call is to understand what's going on beneath the eating, the overthinking, the stress, and the exhaustion. It's not about quick fixes or calorie plans or meal plans. It's about clarity. It's about uncovering the why behind your patterns so you can finally change them at the root cause. Because you can keep trying to do this by yourself. You can keep trying to do the same things over and over again, but you know where that leads you. So this is the logical next step. Stop telling yourself you've tried everything. You haven't. You've tried the same thing over and over again, but you've never actually addressed the root cause and you've never got support and accountability from experts. So if you do want to have a chat, just click the link below and book in. If you're not ready for a call, no problem at all. Obviously, there's plenty of these podcast episodes, or you could just send me a message on Instagram. I will personally respond to you with any tips and advice that I can give you. And we do have a lot of extra free resources. Hopefully, this has been useful. I'll see you next week.