Never Diet Again with Max Lowery

#87 How Women Over 40 Can Lose 10lbs This December Without Restriction

• Max Lowery

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Have you ever walked into December already planning to fail?

  • Promising yourself you’ll “start again in January
  • Loosening boundaries because “it’s Christmas”…
  • Watching the scale climb and pretending you don’t care — until you do.

Most women don’t gain weight in December because of food. They gain it because they believe weight gain is inevitable. They throw their goals in the f!ck it bucket, then punish themselves with guilt, shame and restriction when January hits.

This episode is here to break that cycle for good.

Inside, you’ll discover:

  • What really causes holiday weight gain (it’s not mince pies)
  • Why the belief “I’ll fix it in January” keeps you stuck
  • How to enjoy Christmas without feeling out of control
  • The exact strategies my private clients use to lose weight over the holidays
  • How you could drop up to 10 pounds before January — while still eating the foods you love

You don’t need to avoid pudding.You don’t need to skip the wine. You don’t need to white-knuckle your way through the season.

You just need a better plan — one that lets you enjoy Christmas and still feel proud of yourself on January 1st.

If you’re done repeating the same December-January cycle every year, this episode will change you.

Apply for FREE December Coaching: https://form.typeform.com/to/UvUB8wRb

Watch my The Cravings & Fat-Burning Masterclass:  https://www.neverdietagainmethod.uk/register-podcast

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/max.lowery/

Book a Food Freedom Breakthrough Call: https://www.neverdietagainmethod.uk/call-ig


SPEAKER_00:

December is not the problem. It's what you think December means. You assume weight gain is inevitable. You lose some boundaries. You throw your goals in the fuck it bucket. And then January arrives with guilt, shame, and a punishing plan to fix it. We're here to interrupt that pattern for good. I'm going to share with you the exact same strategies from within my one-on-one coaching program. I'm going to share the same tips that could lead to you losing up to 10 pounds by January the 1st at the same time as enjoying mince pies, drinking wine, and enjoying Christmas with your friends and family. And I know you think this sounds too good to be true. Well, stay tuned and I'll show you exactly why it's not. How do you create a life that allows you to lose weight, eat the foods that you love, and sustain the results? Over the last 10 years, I've helped thousands of people do exactly that. I'm Max Lowry. I'm an author, personal trainer, and weight loss coach. In this podcast, I'm going to share my top tips and tricks from within my one-on-one coaching program. It's my goal to give you the tools and the understanding so that you never diet again. Hello, welcome to the Never Diet Again podcast. So we are returning back to a similar uh type of podcast that what you did before, where I'm going to get some of our team and coaches to join the podcast and talk about things that are working for our clients and to give the coaches perspective on what the clients are struggling with, what the tactics are, and so you guys can understand who the team is and it's not just me. So today I'm joined by Molly, who is most experienced coach, also been through the program yourself. Molly, yeah, who are you? How did you get into this? And yeah, what you're interested in?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, hi, it's good to be back. I'm Molly. I yeah, went through the program myself probably, gosh, I want to say over a year ago now. Um it came across Max on Instagram, as probably most of you did. Listen to him for quite a while. And yeah, went through the program. Um, thought it was obviously great for several reasons and have been coaching with you. I think we're almost on a year now, which is exciting. Just love kind of helping, especially the women with the psychological side of things, which I think is very relevant for this topic. But very much an advocate having gone through it myself and now being a coach. So it's good to be here.

SPEAKER_00:

Always. And you live in Canada, right, Molly?

SPEAKER_01:

I do, yes. I'm currently doing this podcast from England, but yeah, been in Canada for six months now.

SPEAKER_00:

Nice. Cool. So, yeah, tonight we're going to talk about the December survival guide because we want you guys to be prepared for the challenges that December can throw at you. And ideally, we want you to not see it as an excuse to chuck it in what we call the fuck it bucket and write December off and end up overindulging and feeling very desperate in January and then heading towards the extreme restrictive things that everyone does. Because there's no reason why you can't maintain or at least continue to lose weight during December. And we're going to talk about exactly how that is now. And I want to add that as well. Like, this isn't about put putting pressure on December to lose weight, okay? With the principles we're going to teach you, it's possible to enjoy Christmas, like eat the foods you enjoy, have the mince pies, drink the drink the wine, enjoy time with your family and get results at the same time. It doesn't have to be either or. It doesn't have to be either I'm overindulging and enjoying myself and putting on weight, or not enjoying myself at all but losing weight. So, yeah, we've got a few tips. And these tips are the exact same tips that we have given our one-on-one coaching clients. So you're gonna get an insight into what it's like to be coached by us on the Live360 program. So, Molly, do you want to start with the first tip?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes. So the first tip is around plan ahead and setting intentions. So, what we mean by that is how do you want to feel on the first of Jan? Because you will wake up that day, there's no avoiding it. And getting really clear before you enter December of how do you want to feel come the beginning of January or the end of December. So getting really clear on what that means, and I'm sure for some people listening, I've definitely been there. You've had years where you wake up feeling sluggish, bloated, regretful, guilty, um, quite tired, fed up. Um, and I'm sure you don't want to keep going through that loop. So getting really clear of what do you want to feel and connecting with that and setting the intentions on how you're gonna get there. So it was actually a question for you, Max, as well of you know, thinking about January of next year. What comes to your mind when you think about how you want to feel?

SPEAKER_00:

For me personally, I want to feel inspired on January the 1st. I want to feel like there's a whole year ahead of possibilities. And a part of that for me is not feeling hungover, um, not feeling tired. So I a few years ago made a choice to not go out and party on New Year's Eve, basically. Uh I've I've done all sorts of things. I walked 100 kilometres over a 24 hour period from midday New Year's Eve to midday the next day. Um but most of the time we have a plot of land and whoever's around, it's usually my brother. Um, occasionally my wife joins us. She'd rather go out and party. But we just sit in the garden and we light a fire and we just talk about uh we reflect on the year that's passed and and uh what's going to happen in the year ahead. So for me, it's very much wanting to feel inspired, um fresh, energized, uh, and motivated for the year ahead. How about you?

SPEAKER_01:

Oh, I feel like you that was a good one. Um I think for me, normally feeling quite calm, I think actually going into the new year. I think inspired is a nice one, but especially calm and Christmas for me is normally very busy. There's lots of friends to see, lots of family to see, and you end up getting into the new year just feeling extremely tired. Um, so actually, a sense of calmness for me is really important. Um, but I I think getting really specific for people listening is so important. You know, some people will say, I just want to feel good, but actually, what does that look like? So obviously for Max it's inspired, and and what will get him there is doing something that's inspiring. And for me, it's calm. So that's around how much I'm planning that social time and how much energy I'm using during that period. So just with this one, as you are sitting and thinking about it, get really specific on what you want to feel and write it down. Write it down, connect with it, and keep it with you across the Christmas period.

SPEAKER_00:

The reason this is important, and this is actually one of the first things that we do with our clients when they start the program, is because if I could summarize all self-help into one sentence, it would be choose long-term over short term. So choose, make decisions based off the long-term goals that you have versus the short-term gratification. And the thing is, if you're not clear on what the long-term objective is, what the long-term goal is, then in those moments where you're faced with the choice of finishing the pack of mince pies, finishing the glass of wine, a bottle of wine, you're, if you've got nothing to look forward to, nothing you're working on, then you're going to give in to that short-term gratification. And it's a key part of developing discipline over motivation, right? So the difference between motivation and discipline, so motivation, you do the things you need to do when you feel like doing them. Right. And then discipline, you do the things you need to do when you don't feel like doing them. And discipline is a skill that you can practice. Motivation comes and goes. It's a feeling which you don't have a lot of control over. So one of the most powerful ways to develop discipline and choose long-term over short term is to be incredibly connected to how you want to feel on January the 1st. Like really spend some time, write it down, don't rush it. And that ultimately will then dictate your decision-making processes uh on a daily basis in December. So that is tip number one, which we really recommend you guys to do. And we've got all our clients to go into a lot of detail about this. The second tip, and to be honest, this is probably the single biggest mistake that people make over the December period. And it's got nothing to do with food, it's got nothing to do with the amount of mince pies you're eating or the amount of wine that you drink. It's the decision that is made around now. So this, you know, at the end of November, the start of December, that December is a write-off. In other words, the fuck it bucket mindset, all or nothing thinking, perfectionism. Because what that means is the entire month turns into overindulgence. It's these thoughts of, oh, I've got all these social situations, I've got Christmas Day, therefore I will put on weight. This is inevitable. So if that's inevitable, then I might as well not even try. And in fact, I will overindulge because I know I'm going to do something extreme in January. This is a, you know, this is classic all-or-nothing thinking, which is one of the biggest issues our clients uh struggle with and we have to help them with. It's an incredibly draining cycle to be stuck in. You're essentially setting yourself up to fail from the very beginning. And every time that you fail, you're proving to yourself that you can't do something. And in this instance, it leads to the lack of mindfulness in how you are eating and drinking. You're not being intuitive with how you're drink eating and drinking, you're not listening to your body, you're overindulging because you're going to do something extreme. I want to use a reframing concept we use with our clients, which we call zooming out. All right, because we've done this a few times with our clients. We get them to share with us how many social situations do they have over the December period. On average, it's five. How many do you have, Molly?

SPEAKER_01:

Six.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. For me, I'm going to India, so it's slightly different. Um, but yeah, on average, it's five. But just and that's you know, based off like three or four years of asking this question to hundreds of clients, right? So on average, it's five social situations. Let's say it's 10. Okay, just hypothetically, let's say that you have 10 social situations in December, and we would we could argue that each social occasion is one meal. So with zooming out, what we can do is well, uh there are 31 days in December, we'll say 30 just for my math skills, and therefore, if you eat three meals per day, that's a total of 90 meals for the month of December. And so if 10 of your meals are social occasions where potentially you have a bit less control, that's only around 10%, right? Maybe a bit more. Those that have all or nothing thinking and are about to chuck it into the fucking bucket mentality because they feel like they've got all these social occasions, they've got 10 social situations. If we look at the reality, that's around 10% of the meals in the entire month. So, what does that mean? It means that you don't need to be perfect at these social situations. These 10 meals out of 90 are not the thing that are gonna ruin your progress. It's what you do the rest of the time, which is gonna ruin the progress or not. And by chucking it into the fuck it bucket uh before you even start, you're essentially gonna overindulge and be out of control at the 80 other meals. So, this is a really, really powerful reframing tool that we use all the time with our clients. Our clients tend to hyper focus on the perfect meal being perfect today. And we try and get them to just be consistent over a long period of time and look at it, look at their progress in sort of in terms of weeks, months, and years instead of day-by-day weigh in, etc.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, this is quite a funny one because I've already heard some of my clients say it, well, it's nearly December. Um so I think it's really common. But I don't know if you've experienced this, Max, as well, but I think there's often this comes from people feeling a potential for a restricted January. You know, there is also that loop of, well, come January, you know, new me, new January, new goal, gonna be super restrictive. And what that can also trigger is this all or nothing fuck it bucket December of I need to make the most of it before I go into a really restrictive mindset in January. I don't know if you've ever feel that it stemmed from that kind of mindset going into the new year as well.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's exactly that. And what does that lead to? So you overindulge and let go entirely in in December, then you do something restrictive in January, maybe it lasts a month, and guess what? You give up, you overindulge, you binge, you overeat, you tell yourself you're a failure. Um, that voice, that critical inner voice in your head is very loud, and it's more proof that you can't do this. And again, it's essentially you setting yourself up to fail before you've even started. So the only way that you're gonna get the results that you want is if you get out of that extreme swinging from one pendulum to the other and you find more balance. And December is about sharing food and drinks and letting your hair down and spending time with family. It should be. That's what it is about, right? But it doesn't have to be an entire month of overindulging. And we're gonna get into more tips on how you can be a bit more mindful at the rest of the meals and how to how to act. Really quick one for me, guys. I don't run ads on this podcast, and I do aim to give you as many high-value tips and tricks as I can for free. All I ask in return is that you help me spread the word. That way I can help as many people as I can to never die again. The way to do that is to rate, review, and share this podcast. A review will only take 30 seconds, but it would mean the world to me. But more importantly, it could help change the life of someone else.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so that leads us on to tip three. Um, and this is the traffic light system for social events. So we use this with all of our clients consistently. It's a tool that actually I still apply now. And essentially, how you use this tool is you you associate a colour with an event. So, just as Max was saying, you enter December and it seems like it's full of lots of social events, you're around maybe more sweets in the workplace, there's more chocolate in the house, you know, there's so much more temptation and so many more social occasions. So, where you have social occasions, this can be applied to kind of understand the level of indulgence, the level of um connection that that particular scenario has with food. You know, some of these occasions might not be around food, it might just be around the connection for you, it might just be around celebrating each other and celebrating Christmas. So, of the three, we have green, and green essentially is full enjoyment. So, this is Christmas dinner. You know, this is your Christmas day, this is Christmas dinner, this is maybe some of your favourite traditions, this is a special meal, this is where that occasion really is about the food and the alcohol in that moment. Then we move on to amber, and amber is around applying mindful moderation, so applying a little bit of restraint. And this could be things like some casual drinks with friends that you haven't seen for a while. It could be some work lunches if you're going to a nice restaurant. So it's where the food is still slightly important, but again, it's more around the connection. And if that is the case, applying and practicing moderation and restraint is really important here. And then red is where it's nothing about the food at all. So we're really protecting our goals in this particular social occasion. So this could be your work Christmas party, it could be probably your partner's work Christmas party, it could be the random office snacks, it could be your kids' advent calendar, it could be some dry store-brought cakes, some leftovers that you have, you know, things where it isn't really about the food, but there is that temptation there. And where you identify something as a red, there is restraint that needs to be applied because you're protecting your goal and seeing that that particular occasion is more about the connection, it's more about the scenario, and actually the food really does not bring anything to you. And that's where protecting your goal and applying the restraint is just as important. So we use that with our clients on any events, holidays during summer, but especially during Christmas, having a think about what social occasions you have coming up and what colour would you allocate each one to. Just to add here as well, around if you think about your social occasions, as Max was saying before, if you have too many social occasions, you are probably gonna be overwhelmed. You're probably gonna be overwhelmed, you're gonna be tired, you're gonna be low energy, and those kind of things again can make it hard to make the right decision. So, as you're planning your Christmas event, as you're thinking about this traffic light system and how many social occasions you have, just asking yourself, is it realistic? You know, is there a potential that I'm gonna be overdoing it? Am I protecting my rest? And if you're not, you could actually end up being really tired during that Christmas occasion, really low, emotionally drained, and that can make it difficult to make the right decisions and actually increase cravings, for example. So as you're using this at all, allocating the different colours, also asking yourself, is this amount of social occasions realistic?

SPEAKER_00:

So the reason this is powerful is because there's a something we use with our clients called the six P's. Proper planning prevents piss-poor performance. And honestly, it sounds so simple, it's so boring, but our clients that plan ahead get better results than the ones that don't. Because the thing is, if you have a lot of social situations and you don't plan ahead, you're gonna go uh onto autopilot. Like we, our brains have this capacity to automate tasks, and that's a great thing, it's a great uh skill that we have. But those automatic behaviors are either gonna lead you in the direction of getting the results that you want, or they're gonna lead you in the direction of the opposite of that. And so by front-loading your decision making, you are gonna bring more intentionality, more mindfulness, more awareness, more conscious decision making into what you're doing. And you may find, like Molly said, some of these events you really don't actually want to go to, right? Like they're not worth, you know, it's a weather spoons pub, you know, the food's terrible, like standard English office party stuff, you know, cocktail sticks with pineapple and sausages on and that kind of stuff. That's like memories for me. And you may find that if you go and do what you usually do, you'll overindulge, it'll be a load of excess calories, and you'll think at the end, I didn't even enjoy that. That wasn't even worth consuming all those calories. And I feel a bit hungover and I really didn't want to. Whereas using this stretch, you can just bring more awareness, more mindfulness, more intentionality, and pre-decide how you want to behave at this party. You know, if you've only got like one or two social situations, you don't really have to use this. If you've got more, and one of our clients did say she had 20 social situations, then she is gonna have to really use this uh and spend some time now looking ahead. But equally, as Molly was alluding to, if you have people pleasing pleasing tendencies, if you have difficulty saying no, if you have difficulty setting boundaries, then ask yourself some difficult questions like is this completely unrealistic? Is this, am I gonna end up feeling very drained at the end of December because I've said yes to everything? Um, instead of actually connecting, being present, enjoying a few social situations and feeling fresh in January rather than like you need another holiday. So, next tip practice mindful eating. So, mindfulness is a key component of how we help our clients. It's changed my life personally. We have recorded an entire podcast episode with Ed, our mindfulness coach, and my mindfulness coach. If you if you search that, I encourage you to listen to it. But one aspect of mindfulness is mindful eating. And again, this is boring. It's not exciting. It's so obvious that no one does it. But when you actually do it, it's incredibly powerful. Because with mindful eating, you can increase your satisfaction of the food that you're eating, literally enjoy the food more, and it will naturally lead to you eating less without it feeling like you're dieting. So let's just like repeat that. You will enjoy the food more and you will naturally eat less without dieting. I mean, that kind of sounds like it could be an injection that, you know, would be if it was, everyone would be on it, right? But you can get this without an injection. And so what does that look like? Well, the first tip for practicing mindful eating is to slow down. And this is the biggest tip that I need to take personally, because I have a really bad habit of eating very quickly. Fortunately, it hasn't caused me any problems with my weight for a variety of reasons. So I haven't really addressed it. But if you are struggling with your weight, struggling to lose weight, and you eat quickly, you need to address this. Okay, because there are a load of things going on when we eat food, and it takes time for our brains to realize that we've actually eaten some food. It's not immediate, it's like a 20-minute lag. So if you get into a habit of eating very quickly, you're essentially going to eat past the point of fullness. So we use something called the hunger scale with our clients, right? And it goes from one to ten. And with one, at one, you've got starving, dizzy, and weak. And at 10, you've got stuffed, very uncomfortable, feeling sick. And so ideally, you want to avoid these extremes. We actually want to be in between three and seven. So three is hungry, stomach rumbling, seven is full and satisfied. And if you're eating quickly, you're likely to go past seven and go into eight, nine, and ten. And so the difference between seven and eight, nine, and ten in terms of calorie intake could be up to 200 calories potentially, depending on what you're eating. We'll say anywhere from 50 to uh for two to 200 calories. So if you eat quickly and you have a habit of eating until eight, nine, and ten three times a day, every day, that's 50 to 200 calories at every single meal, every single day, every single week, every single month, every single year. That's thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of excess calories that you don't actually need because you could be uh at number seven, full and satisfied. This slowing down will enable you to tune into the hunger scale better and naturally reduce your calories without uh being restrictive. You can still eat the foods you enjoy, you can still eat the mince pies, still have the glass of wine, but you just do it slower and therefore eat less. Second tip with mindful eating is to eliminate distractions. This is important for anyone, but if anyone listening to this has been diagnosed late with ADHD, uh, which is uh more and more women over the age of 40 are being late diagnosed with ADHD, this is even more important because women with ADHD have a higher craving for the reward you get from eating the food, i.e. dopamine, and a blunted response. And when you throw in distractions, people with ADHD and people without ADHD, you don't get the same reward that you get with food because you're distracted by something else. So essentially you're gonna end up feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied from the food that you're eating, and you're gonna be looking for something else afterwards. So eliminating the distractions, like get rid of the TV, the scrolling, you know, sit at a table with your partner, with your children, connect, talk, talk about the food and do things slowly. And you will automatically, without willpower, motivation, without casting out your favorite foods, consume less calories. Another powerful tip for mindful eating is to use all your senses. Uh, and in fact, this is very current because Molly and myself just actually had a group session with Ed, the mindfulness coach, and he got us to spend it was probably five minutes using every single sense to experience uh for me, it was a raisin for you, it was a grape. And what was that like for you, Molly?

SPEAKER_01:

I mean, I hadn't tasted all the different parts of a grape before. You know, for it was one grape and tasting the skin, tasting the actual grape. We we smelt the grape, we listened to the grape. I mean, there was no noise that came from it, but it was such an interesting exercise to sit with it and just connect with the food. And it also made me realize when I eat grapes normally, I have a pack of grapes next to me, and how quickly do I probably eat 10, 11, 12 in the time that I ate one? So it was quite surprising how you can go into that autopilot of just eating something as simple as a grape.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. And using your senses is a really powerful grounding technique. If you're someone that struggles with anxiety, uh nervousness, um, getting angry and getting very stuck in your head, anchoring and connecting with your body, using your senses. Uh, there's a there's a famous um, I can't remember what it's called, but there's a mindfulness technique where you, I believe it's like it's called 54321, and you've got to use your ears to listen to five things, um, use your eyes to look at four things, touch three things, taste two things. And what's the other one? Smell, that's it. Something like that. But it's a powerful grounding technique. So if you can do that whilst you're eating again, you're actually going to enjoy the food more. This is what I meant when I said you can enjoy the food more. When you connect with what you're doing and you use all your senses to enjoy the process of eating, you will get a higher reward from the activity of eating, which means you're less likely to then look for more reward. When I say reward, I mean dopamine from other things. All right.

SPEAKER_01:

So sorry to interrupt, because I'm sure there's people that are listening thinking this sounds really weird. You know, the thought of Max and I, me listening to a grape and him listening to a raisin, you know, it's not something that we do every day. We know it sounds slightly strange, but give it a go. You know, give it a go and see how you experience it. And sometimes it might make you laugh, sometimes it might really work, sometimes you might really enjoy it, sometimes you might not get anything from it. But just trying it, just practicing it and and being open-minded with what that can bring to you in itself is something to try over this period.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. And I'm gonna just challenge what you said just for the sake of being contrarian, um, because I like doing that. So, yeah, I think for a lot of people, what we were doing is strange. Um, but actually, for most of human evolution, what we're doing now is very strange, is we are having food delivered to our doors, we are uh watching TV uh whilst we're eating, we're completely distracted, completely disconnected. I mean, I live in France, and when I tell my French friends that I have to persuade my clients not to eat at their desk, eat their lunch at their desk, they're like, what planet are you guys on? How could you possibly have your meal at your desk? Because for them it's about uh, you know, it's a two-hour lunch break, everything's shut. Uh, it's it's sacred to them. And so, yes, strange is relative, and I think you should be constantly questioning, you know, just because everyone around me is doing this, is that normal and is that serving me potentially? That's another point. Next tip, Molly.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, next tip is restraint versus restriction. So, and this is kind of one of the, I guess, the biggest mindset shifts or framing that you are gonna use kind of going into this phase. So, what do we mean by restraint? Well, what do we mean by restriction? So, restriction sounds like I'm not allowed to have a mince pie, I'm not allowed to have any chocolate, I'm not allowed to have an extra Yorkshire pudding. You know, that is saying that something that you're gonna do is bad. And we want to move away from that because that kind of language can cause us to feel, yeah, restrictive but deprived, you know, kind of adding some guilt around food, and often that can cause us to overeat or binge later on.

SPEAKER_00:

So, for those of you listening, I'm guessing because I see the stats, you're a woman over 40, like all our clients, you likely have children. What happens when you tell your children that you are not allowed to do something or you're not allowed to have something? They want it more, they obsess about it. Just because we are all big children, right? Nothing changes. We just, you know, people just learn how to behave in public, basically. That's the only difference. So this restriction is obviously fueled by diet culture, all or nothing thinking, but ultimately it leads to exactly the same behavior you see in your children, which is obsession, uh over like overdoing things, being angry, being frustrated, and feeling completely out of control. So restriction keeps you trapped in a cycle of losing weight and putting it back on, ruining your relationship with food, feeling guilty, harming your self-esteem and your self-worth and your confidence ultimately.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. So what we mean by restraint then is still allowing you to enjoy the holiday foods, but being intentional and applying moderation. So restraint should feel a lot calmer, it's a lot more of a conscious choice. And the kind of language that you might hear you say or want to say is I'm gonna have one, taste it properly, enjoy it, but not eat the whole packet. You know, I'm choosing not to have more because I don't want to feel rubbish tomorrow. I'll have a dessert tonight, but I don't need it at every meal. So that kind of language is moving away from being restrictive to just applying. A bit of restraint and again connecting it to what we said at the beginning of how do you want to feel at the start of January? What does restraint look like to help you get there? And this kind of thinking helps you stay satisfied, it's more flexible, it builds trust in yourself, and it's kind of that balanced relationship with food. So just thinking about the the two as you enter December.

SPEAKER_00:

I want to stress here as well, this concept of practicing restraint versus restriction is incredibly profound. It has the potential to heal your relationship with food. It has the potential for you to eat more intuitively. And that word is banded around a lot, but this can lead to true intuitive eating. It leads to better self-trust in yourself. You learn to trust your decision making when it comes to food. You know, restraint comes from facts, confidence, love, and happiness. Restriction comes from fear, jealousy, anger, restriction, et cetera. And I'll give you some more examples just to kind of drive home the point because lots of our clients struggle with this initially. And it's the key thing that we teach them right at the start. It's so, so powerful, and we have to get them to constantly practice it. But restraint is telling yourself as an adult that I'm an adult and I can have the mince pies if I want. But actually, these ones don't look very nice because they're just kind of store-bought, mass-produced. So it's not really worth me having them, but I could have them if I really wanted to. But as an adult, I'm deciding that this isn't worth it. Whereas restriction is I'm on a diet. Max has said I'm not allowed to eat minced pies. Or my my program, I mean, I would never say that, but my weight loss coach or my uh programmer said I'm not allowed. So it's something that you guys have to learn for yourselves and practice over time. Um, you're gonna feel a lot of guilt initially, potentially, you're gonna feel nervous, you're gonna feel like, oh, I'm gonna put on weight if I eat these foods. But it's just about making decisions as an adult, understanding that no single food causes weight gain, no single food causes weight loss. There's no such thing as a good or a bad food. And with that in mind, you can then start to make decisions more from a place of happiness and confidence. Cool. Final tip. And this one is optional. And we've done the same thing with our clients. It's an optional step challenge because steps are the fat loss secret weapon. Okay. You can burn more calories being active and getting steps in over the course of the day, you know, 7 to 15,000 steps. You'll burn more calories doing that than you will in a hard structured workout. And not just that, you'll burn all these calories, but steps don't raise your hunger levels like the hard exercise will. They won't leave you feeling stiff and sore the next day, where you actually end up being less active. And it's safe, it's free, anyone can do it. And so this can be a great way to stay active and not fall into the trap of sitting there and watching TV with your family. It can also be a great opportunity to do something different and encourage your entire family to get out and connect in the outdoors, which improves everyone's mental health, happiness, and connection. Like there's so many benefits to that. The reason I say it's optional is because if you do have a very, very busy Christmas and you've got a lot on, I don't want to add extra pressure on you to try and hit these numbers. But if you feel like actually I probably could, and I actually would would like to do this, then if you know that your average step count per day is roughly 7,000, can you opt that by 20%? You know, set yourself a achievable target. And with all this, with the setting the intentions, with the zooming out and realizing that you may only have five meals where you potentially have room to overindulge, and that leaves 85, with practicing mindful eating where you naturally eat less without being restrictive. And if you up your steps, there's no reason why you still can't lose weight. Because when it comes to losing weight, it's about achieving a calorie deficit. And if we're consuming less by being mindful, mindful at the 80 or 85 meals, and we're burning more because we're upping our steps, there's absolutely no reason why you can't be in a calorie deficit and lose weight whilst eating the mince pies, whilst drinking the wine, whilst having the Yorkshire pudding. Right? It's probably not what you're expecting to hear. And it's very different to the kind of advice that you're going to get in most weight loss programs, which is you just need to cut out carbs, you just need to smash seven gym workouts, like completely forget about it and start and do something extreme in January. But in order for you guys to get the results that you want, you need to do something different. You can't keep doing the same things over and over again, expecting different results. It's not your fault that you are still stuck. Most of the clients that we speak with are stuck because they have been doing things that are addressing the surface level issues. It's all about willpower and discipline, and it doesn't work for the hormonal changes that are happening for women over the age of 40. So it's not your fault that that is all you've been exposed to, but it is your responsibility to stop doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. There is going to be a guide that which attaches this podcast. So if you look underneath this podcast, you're going to get a summarized guide of this entire podcast. So I want you, you know, for free, you don't even have to give me your email address. It's just going to be there below. We are actually running an offer at the moment. It's a Black Friday offer. So if you want to receive free coaching from us in the month of December, then you need to fill in the application beneath this video. We are accepting five women to be coached for free for the month of December and lose up to 10 pounds. Apply some of these systems that we've spoken about today and start January as they mean to go on instead of feeling lost and feeling potentially 10 pounds heavier. If you want to be in the running for that, we only have five spots. We've already had a lot of demand. Fit in the form below. It's a first come, first serve basis based off who we think um is going to be the best match. All right. Anything else to add, Molly?

SPEAKER_01:

The only thing I was going to add was get your friends and family involved in some of this. Max mentioned it with the step challenge, but with your kids, get them to eat mindfully. You know, get them to taste their food, get them to taste their chocolate, get, you know, people walking with you on Christmas Day, set some new traditions, you know, get your family involved and your friends because it's proven that if you have the support network around you to help you make a change, you're so much more likely to do it. So take some of this, apply it to your family, apply it to some of your traditions, and get some help to help you make these changes.

SPEAKER_00:

Thanks very much for joining today, Molly. Thanks everyone for listening. We'll see you on the next one.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you.