Never Diet Again with Max Lowery
Tired of losing weight only to gain it back? Sick of feeling out of control around food? Welcome to The Never Diet Again Podcast Weight Loss Coach - Max Lowery. If you’re a woman over 40 who’s tried every diet, struggled with cravings, or felt stuck in an endless cycle of overeating and guilt—this podcast is for you. Max shares real, no-BS strategies to help you lose weight without restrictive diets, punishing workouts, or obsessing over every bite.
Each episode dives deep into what actually works for lasting fat loss—so you can stop dieting for good, regain control, and feel confident in your body again.
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Never Diet Again with Max Lowery
#88 The Biggest Weight Loss Mistake Women Over 40 Make in December
The One Mistake Women Over 40 Make Every December.
And it has nothing to do with food, alcohol, or exercise.
It’s the silent mindset trap that turns one mince pie into a month-long spiral.
The “I’ll start again in January” story.
The “it’s already ruined” logic.
The all-or-nothing thinking that wipes out your confidence, your consistency, and your self-trust every single year.
In this episode, I break down exactly why December feels out of control.
Not because of Christmas.
But because of what your brain believes about Christmas.
You’ll learn why one slip turns into a full collapse.
Why guilt drives overeating more than appetite ever could.
And why most women are firing the second arrow at themselves without realising it.
I’ll show you the simple mindset shift that stops the spiral.
The exact reframe we use with our one-to-one clients.
The truth about the 93 meals in December.
And how to enjoy the social events without abandoning yourself for 31 days.
This is the episode every woman over 40 needs to hear before December hijacks another year
Listen now if you’re done starting over in January.
And ready to end the year proud instead of defeated.
Watch my The Cravings & Fat-Burning Masterclass: https://www.neverdietagainmethod.uk/register-podcast
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Book a Food Freedom Breakthrough Call: https://www.neverdietagainmethod.uk/call-ig
There's one mistake almost every woman over forty makes in December. And it leads to weight gain, guilt, and frustration. And it has nothing to do with food, nothing to do with alcohol, and it has nothing to do with exercise. This mistake is so common, so automatic, most women don't even notice they're doing it. But it quietly destroys progress every single year. It drains your happiness, it wrecks your consistency, and it crushes your confidence. It makes you doubt yourself. It makes you stop trusting yourself. And it convinces you that change is too hard for you. And it can become one of the biggest reasons you don't achieve the things you want in your health, in your life, in your future. Because most women think December throws them off because of the food, the parties, or the social events. But the truth is far more powerful than that. And when you understand this one mindset mistake, everything about December changes. Stay with me because the next few minutes might be the most important mindset shift you make all year. How do you create a life that allows you to lose weight, eat the foods that you love, and sustain the results? Over the last 10 years, I've helped thousands of people do exactly that. I'm Max Lowry. I'm an author, personal trainer, and weight loss coach. In this podcast, I'm going to share my top tips and tricks from within my one-on-one coaching program. It's my goal to give you the tools and understanding so that you never diet again. So December hits and something predictable happens in the mind of many women over 40. She starts counting. She counts the Christmas meals, she counts the work events, she counts the nights out, she thinks about buying presents, she thinks about the chaos at home, she thinks about the kids being off school, she thinks about the pressure, the noise, the expectations. And then a familiar voice kicks in. And it's quiet at first. But then it gets louder. Forget about December. Just enjoy yourself. Make the most of it. We'll just do our usual extreme restriction in January. And this is the mistake. This is the moment everything unravels. This is the split second decision that December is a write-off. We call it the fuck it bucket, but it's also known as all or nothing thinking. And it doesn't just lead to not trying, it leads to overindulging more than you would on a normal month. Because once you believe the month is ruined, your brain shifts into scarcity mode. Scarcity mode is the belief that now is your last chance. Your last chance to eat everything. Your last chance to drink everything. Your last chance to feel free before January punishment begins. Because when you think restriction is coming, you binge now. When you believe January will be painful, you go all in today. And this creates the perfect storm, not just overeating, but intentional overeating. And this is why December feels out of control. Not because of the food, but because of the belief that December doesn't count. Now I want to introduce you to a simple but powerful reframing technique that we use with our one-on-one coaching clients. It's called zooming out. And zooming out means pulling your perspective wider so the emotional brain stops hyper-focusing on the moment. Zooming out lets you see reality, not the chaotic story in your head. Because here's the reality. We ask our clients how many social situations they have in December. And on average, it's around five. So let's double that to make it dramatic. Let's say that you have 10 big social events in December. That could be 10 parties, it could be 10 meals out. And now let's zoom out even further. There are 93 meals in December if you eat three meals per day. So 10 of the 93 may involve overindulgence. But that leaves 83 meals completely in your control. So only 10% of your meals are these social events. And 90% of your meals are normal meals where you still have complete power. But all or nothing thinking and the fuck it bucket makes you forget the 90%. It convinces you the 10% is the whole month. It convinces you there's no point trying. And that one belief changes everything. And this is known as all or nothing thinking. And all or nothing thinking isn't a personality flaw, it's a cognitive distortion because it's an automatic thought pattern that distorts reality, oversimplifies situations, and leads you to inaccurate conclusions. And it comes from the oldest part of our brains, the limbic system. And the limbic system is the part of your brain that drives your emotions, habits, cravings, and automatic behaviors. It controls things like fear, comfort seeking, hunger, stress, pleasure, and memory. It works very quickly and instinctively. It doesn't think, it reacts. This is why you can know what to do, but still grab the biscuit when you're stressed. Your logical brain understands your long-term goals, but your limbic system only cares about feeling better right now. When I help clients change their relationship with food, I'm basically helping them calm their limbic system so the logical brain can take the lead. That's why mindset, identity, and emotional regulation matter far more than just eat less and move more. Once you train the limbic system to stop running your life, consistency becomes easy. Because your brain's number one job is to keep you safe. Not happy, not empowered, not consistent, just safe. And the brain believes safety comes from simplicity. So it sorts the world into two boxes, good or bad, success or failure, safe or unsafe, on track or off track. This is why all or nothing thinking feels so natural. The brain doesn't like gray areas. Grey areas require energy. Grey areas require problem solving. Grey areas require discomfort. So your brain avoids the gray. It chooses the extremes. And there's another layer to this. When you feel stressed, overwhelmed, or tired, which most women over 40 do in December, the logical part of your brain goes offline. This is called cognitive load. The more pressure you're under, the less capacity you have to make balanced choices. So the brain switches to fast thinking. And fast thinking uses shortcuts. And shortcuts sound like I've failed, I've ruined it, I've blown it, I'll start again later. This isn't weakness, this is biology. And decades of dieting makes this worse. Diet culture teaches your brain that being healthy means being perfect. So your brain learns a rule. If you're not perfect, you failed. And the brain loves rules because rules save energy. Rules mean less thinking, rules mean less decision making. And rules give the brain certainty, even if the rule is harmful. This is why you jump from one mince pie to I've ruined everything. Your brain is not trying to punish you, it's trying to simplify the situation. And once your brain decides you failed, it triggers another mechanism called effort withdrawal. And effort withdrawal is when the brain stops trying because it believes trying is pointless. This is why one slip turns into a full downward spiral. But easy doesn't mean helpful. Easy doesn't mean healthy. Easy doesn't mean aligned with your goals. It just means familiar. And there's a Buddhist concept that explains this even better and goes even deeper. And I love using this with clients. It's called the two arrows. The first arrow is the unavoidable things that happen. It's the slip, the mince pie, the heavy weekend, the stressful day, the moment you break a promise to yourself. The first arrow is never the real problem. It stings, but it doesn't destroy you. Whereas the second arrow is the one you fire at yourself. It's your reaction, it's your judgment, it's the story you create about what that moment means. And this second arrow causes far more pain than anything you ate. Most women don't struggle because of the mistake. They struggle because of the meaning they attach to the mistake. And that's a crucial difference. And here's how it plays out in real life. You go to a Christmas lunch and eat more than you planned. That's the first arrow. Normal, human, expected. But then the second arrow hits. I ruined everything. I always do this. I'll start again in January. And now the spiral begins. You overeat because you think it no longer matters. You drink because you feel guilty. You give up on the day, and then the day becomes the week. Then the week becomes the rest of the month. Not because of the first arrow, but because of the second. And this pattern doesn't just impact your weight, it impacts everything. And what I'm about to share here is ultimately why I do what I do. If this was just about calories and macros and losing weight in the short term, I wouldn't be here doing this podcast and spending my life sharing these ideas. The issue I'm talking about here with the second arrow can impact every aspect of your life. And that's ultimately why I'm here. I'm here to help my clients become the best version of themselves in every aspect of their lives, not just losing weight. Remember, I said earlier that all or nothing thinking is a cognitive distortion. Well, many of the women I work with don't just have one cognitive distortion, they have several. And these distortions shape the way they live, react, connect, and think. And here are the big ones. So all or nothing thinking, for example, if it's not perfect, I've failed. Catastrophizing, this small problem is a disaster. Disqualifying the positive. Yes, it went well, but it doesn't count. Mind reading. She thinks I'm lazy, she's judging me. Labeling, I'm a failure, I'm hopeless, I'm greedy. Fortune telling, I know how it goes, I'll fail again. These distortions don't stay inside your food choices. They bleed into your relationships, your career, your family, your confidence, your mental health. Here's what it actually looks like. You have one argument with your partner and think this relationship is falling apart. You feel insecure at work and assume everyone can see it. You skip one workout and decide you're useless. You make one mistake with your kids and labor yourself a bad mum. You have one bad day and assume the whole week is ruined. You achieve something great, but instantly dismiss it because it wasn't perfect. This is life lived between two extremes, full control or total collapse, and there is no middle ground. And when there's no middle ground, everything feels exhausting. You don't just feel guilty about food, you feel guilty about everything. You don't just feel overwhelmed at Christmas, you feel overwhelmed year round. You don't just lose trust in your eating habits, you lose trust in yourself. And this is the hidden cost of the second arrow. It creates a mental environment where you can't win. No matter what you do, it's never enough. And this is why so many women feel strong, capable, and competent in other areas of their life, but they feel like they're falling apart with their personal lives. Not because they're weak, but because they're firing the second arrow at themselves every single day. Because remember, the perceived mistake isn't the problem. It's your reaction to the perceived mistake which is the problem. And that reaction is driven by distorted thinking that has gone unchallenged for years. And this is why the two arrows is so helpful. You can't always control the first arrow, but you always get to choose whether you fire the second one. Because here's the truth here, and I'm warning you, I'm about to be direct. But it's my job as a coach to tell you the things you need to hear rather than the things you want to hear. You're not struggling because of food. You're not struggling because of December. You're not struggling because of mince pies, social events, or Christmas dinners. You're struggling because of what you think those moments mean. You're struggling because you fire the second arrow at yourself. You're struggling because your brain has learned patterns that no longer serve you. And those patterns keep you trapped. Not because you can't change, but because you don't believe you're allowed to change unless it's perfect. The problem isn't who you are, the problem is the story you tell yourself about who you are. You don't lack discipline, you lack self-trust. You don't lack willpower, you lack compassion. You don't lack consistency, you lack the belief that imperfect action still counts. And here's the part most women never hear. You don't fail because you overeat. You fail because you believe overeating means you failed. And that belief destroys your momentum. It's the belief that triggers the spiral. It's the belief that tells you to give up for a day, the week, or the entire month. The truth you need to hear is simple. You're not broken, you're not weak, you are not destined to repeat the same patterns forever. You're simply using an outdated mental operating system. A system built on perfection, a system built on shame, a system built on fear of getting it wrong. And that system collapses every time life gets messy, which is why every December feels the same. But you can change this. Your brain can change, your patterns can change, your identity can change. You are not stuck, you've just never been taught how to work with your mind instead of against it. Really quick one for me, guys. I don't run ads on this podcast, and I do aim to give you as many high-value tips and tricks as I can for free. All I ask in return is that you help me spread the word. That way I can help as many people as I can to never die again. The way to do that is to rate, review, and share this podcast. A review will only take 30 seconds, but it would mean the world to me. But more importantly, it could help change the life of someone else. And when you learn how to stop firing that second arrow, everything shifts. You stop spiraling, you stop giving up, you stop abandoning yourself every time life gets imperfect, you start building self-trust, you start feeling proud of yourself, you start becoming the woman who shows up for herself no matter what life throws at her. And that is the version of you who changes her body, her confidence, her health, her happiness, her entire life. This is the truth you need to hear. You don't need a stricter plan, you don't need motivation, you don't need to try harder. You need to start believing that a mistake means failure, because it never has and never will. So let's bring this back to the truth we uncovered earlier. There are 93 meals in December. Even if you have 10 social events, that still leaves 83 normal meals. 83 meals where you are fully in control. This is the part most women forget. They act like December is one long, never-ending buffet. It's not. It's just a handful of meals that look different. So here is the reframe you need to anchor yourself to. Enjoy the Christmas meals. Enjoy the nights out. Enjoy the special moments because they matter. But stay consistent the rest of the time. The way you eat on the 23rd of December matters. The way you eat on the 12th matters. The way you eat on a random Tuesday matters. These 83 meals are where the results come from. This is how you take your power back. Treat December like every other month, with a few fun events sprinkled in. Not a month-long past to abandon yourself. So here's how to stay consistent without feeling deprived. Eat proper meals, two or three square meals per day. Do not pick and graze. Do not just snack your way throughout the day. Real meals, real structure, real nourishment. Prioritize protein and fiber. This keeps you full, stabilizes your blood sugar, reduces cravings, and protects you from the emotional eating spiral. Drink water throughout the day. You'll feel calmer, you'll digest better, and you'll feel less hungry. Get your steps in. This is the easiest way to stay in control all month long. Walking burns calories without increasing hunger. Walking regulates your mood. Walking interrupts the spiral. Walking keeps you feeling capable. And here's the most powerful question you can ask yourself in December. Why am I acting like December is some magical month when none of my habits apply? Because it's not. December isn't special. December doesn't change your body. December doesn't change your biology. December doesn't take away your power. The only thing that changes in December is your beliefs. The belief that it doesn't count. The belief that I'll sort it out later. The belief that normal rules don't apply now. Challenge that belief. Question it. Don't let it run your month. Because when you zoom out, the truth is simple. You can enjoy your social situations and still stay consistent. You can eat Christmas dinner and still lose weight. You can have fun and still feel proud on January the 1st. So you don't need to sacrifice joy to stay on track. You just need to stop abandoning yourself the moment things aren't perfect. And if you want a full December strategy with the exact same plan I give my clients, check out last week's podcast episode. And if you also want another episode that will help with your eating in December, check out the volume eating episode, which I think is the week before. So here's how I want you to leave this episode. December is not the problem. It never has been. The biggest thing holding you back is the story you've been telling yourself every December for years. The fuck it, I'll start again in January story. The all or nothing story, the catastrophizing story, the second arrow story. This story has created more guilt, more shame, more inconsistency, more frustration, and more self-doubt than any mince pie ever could. But you are not stuck with that story. You can create a new one. A story where December isn't a write-off. A story where one meal doesn't ruin anything. A story where you enjoy Christmas and still take care of yourself. A story where you don't abandon yourself the moment life stops being perfect. Because you deserve that. You deserve to end the year feeling proud. You deserve to start January feeling strong, not defeated. You deserve to build a relationship with food that doesn't fall apart every holiday season. You deserve to trust yourself again. So enjoy the social events, enjoy the Christmas meal, enjoy your life, but don't abandon yourself for the entire month. Because when you start firing that second arrow, everything changes. Final thing from me we are already receiving bookins for Food Freedom Breakthrough Call in January. If you are serious about making 2026 the year that you finally lose weight and keep it off, click the link in the caption below and secure your spot for January. It is going to be very busy. We cannot help everyone. We have a small, intimate, one-to-one coaching community. If you want to be part of that community, if you want to address everything we've been speaking about in this episode, click the link below and book in for January. Don't go down the route of doing the things that you do every single year. Because remember, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is known as insanity. If you want different results, you have to do something different. And that something different can be booking in for that food freedom breakthrough call, which will be with me. Hopefully, this has been useful. I'll see you on the next one.