Never Diet Again with Max Lowery

#89 How To Stop Emotional Eating And Family Stress Ruining Your Christmas

• Max Lowery

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Every December you promise yourself it will be different.

And every January you’re left wondering how it slipped again.

If you’re a woman over 40 who feels in control in most areas of life but completely out of control with food at Christmas, this episode is for you.

This is not another “be more disciplined” message. And it’s not about cutting back, tracking harder, or trying to be good.

In this episode, I break down what’s really happening behind the scenes when stress, pressure, perfectionism and emotional eating collide. Not in theory. In real life. In the exact patterns I see with the women I coach every single December.

If you’re tired of normalising guilt, shame, and starting over again in January, this will hit home. And it might be the wake up call you’ve been avoiding.

Press play if you’re ready to stop letting Christmas run your choices this year.

Watch my The Cravings & Fat-Burning Masterclass:  https://www.neverdietagainmethod.uk/register-podcast

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/max.lowery/

Book a Food Freedom Breakthrough Call: https://www.neverdietagainmethod.uk/call-ig


SPEAKER_00:

Christmas is not the problem. Your reactions to stress are most women crumble under pressure in December. They end up eating their way through the month without even realizing why. If that sounds familiar, you are not broken. You are not weak. You're stuck in a pattern you've never been taught to understand. And this episode is going to help you break it. Because Christmas brings the perfect storm. Family expectations rise, your responsibilities double, your routine disappears, your stress builds. And food becomes the fastest way to escape the pressure that you feel. So you tell yourself, I'll start again in January. But you've told yourself that every single year. And every year it keeps you stuck. So today I'm going to show you what's actually going on behind the emotional eating. I'm going to show you why the stress feels so intense, why food becomes the automatic response, and how to take your power back before the spiral starts. Because this isn't about willpower, this isn't about being good. This is about understanding your mind, your body, and your emotional habits. Once you see the pattern, you can change the pattern. And when you change the pattern, Christmas stops controlling you and you start controlling Christmas. So let's get into it. How do you create a life that allows you to lose weight, eat the foods that you love, and sustain the results? Over the last 10 years, I've helped thousands of people do exactly that. I'm Max Lowry. I'm an author, personal trainer, and weight loss coach. In this podcast, I'm going to share my top tips and tricks from within my one-on-one coaching program. It's my goal to give you the tools and understanding so that you never diet again. Every year I see very similar patterns with the women I speak to and the women that I coach. They walk into December with the best intentions, but the moment Christmas season starts, everything starts to shift. Their responsibilities multiply, their stress rises, and their own needs disappear from their priority list. This is the point where emotional eating starts creeping in long before the big day arrives. And it's not because of food, because of the mental load that they carry. Most of the women I speak to enter December trying to keep everyone happy. They put themselves last without even realizing it. They become the organizer, the peacekeeper, the planner, the fixer, and the emotional anchor to the entire family. They feel responsible for holding everything together. I see women trying to control every single detail. They want the house spotless, they want the meals perfect, they want everything to be on time, they want the whole holiday to run smoothly. And they believe it's their job to make it happen. People pleasing and perfectionism show up stronger than ever, and they say yes to everything. They take on more than they can handle and they absorb everyone else's stress. They prioritize everyone's emotional experience above their own. And this creates massive internal pressure. Not because they're doing something wrong, but because they're expecting themselves to meet unrealistic standards. This is also where the cognitive distortions kick in. And I see these patterns in almost every client I work with during the holidays. All or nothing thinking makes them believe Christmas has to be perfect or it's ruined. Catastrophizing turns small inconveniences into full-blown disasters in their mind. Arbitrary inference leads them to create problems that aren't even there. Fortune telling convinces them everything will go wrong before it even happens. Jumping to conclusions makes them react to assumptions instead of reality. And mind reading makes them believe everyone is judging them, even when no one is. These negative automatic thought patterns create a mental environment where stress builds up fast. And they drain confidence, they feel overwhelmed, and they disconnect women from their own needs. And that's when emotional eating starts to feel like the only relief that they have. And this is really important because it reveals the real reason Christmas feels so hard. It's not the food, it's not the events, it's not the celebrations, it's the pressure women place on themselves to be everything for everyone. And that pressure sets the stage for emotional eating and drinking before Christmas Day even arrives. Here's how I describe December for most of the women that I coach. It's like a pressure cooker without a release valve. Every responsibility adds pressure. Every expectation adds pressure. Every family demand adds pressure. Every thought that says, I should be doing more adds pressure. And the lid gets tighter, there's no pause, there's no breathing room, there's no moment to regulate your emotions. You hold everything in. You don't want to upset anyone. You don't want to fall behind. You don't want to look like you're struggling. So you keep absorbing more pressure. And inside, the heat builds. Stress builds, anxiety builds, exhaustion builds, and that inner voice gets louder. And at some point, the cocoa becomes too much. The cooker can't hold the pressure anymore and it explodes. This is the moment emotional eating or drinking hits hard. This is when women find themselves raiding the fridge without thinking. This is when drinking becomes a way to take the edge off. This is when arguments erupt with family over something tiny. And this is when everything feels too much. You're not choosing these reactions. They're happening because the pressure has nowhere to go. And here's what makes it even harder. The explosion feeds the voice that already tells you that you're failing. It tells you you're out of control. It tells you you can't do this. It tells you this always happens. It tells you there's no point in trying. And that voice becomes another layer of pressure on top of the pressure you already had. And the cycle strengthens itself. When the pressure cooker explodes, the aftermath always feels worse than the original stress. The food doesn't fix anything, the drinking doesn't fix anything. The arguments don't fix anything. But for a moment, they give relief. And that temporary relief is what keeps the emotional eating cycle alive. And this is why December feels so chaotic for so many women. The emotional eating isn't random, it's the result of pressure with no release. The good news is this: you don't need to remove the pressure to stop the explosion. You just need a release valve. And that's exactly what I'm going to teach you next. So step number one is awareness. This is a key skill we teach our clients. We even have a world-renowned mindfulness expert, Ed Halliwell, who helps guide our clients to build deeper self-awareness. Because you cannot change what you are not aware of. Because many of the women that I speak to and I work with are completely blind to what their triggers are. So they are essentially acting on autopilot. Awareness means being honest with yourself. It means getting clear on the people, the situations, and the moments that cause you the most stress. It means knowing exactly what pushes your pressure cooker closer to exploding. For some women, it's certain family members. For others, it's comments about weight or food. For some, it's the chaos of hosting. For some it's feeling unappreciated or overwhelmed. And for others, it's the expectation to hold everything together. Awareness also means knowing how you usually react. You need to understand your patterns before you can interrupt them. So this is where the cognitive distortions show up again. So all or nothing thinking sounds like if the day isn't perfect, I've failed. Catastrophizing sounds like if this goes wrong, Christmas is ruined. Arbitrary inference sounds like they aren't talking much, so I must have upset them. Fortune telling sounds like, I know this dinner is going to be a disaster. And jumping to conclusion sounds like they didn't smile, so they're annoyed at me. These thoughts are often automatic. They show up fast, but they add more pressure to the pressure cooker. They lead straight to emotional eating or snapping at someone that you love. Awareness helps you catch these thoughts before they take over. Not to fix them, not to judge the thoughts, not to force yourself into positive thinking, just to notice them. Mindfulness teaches that when you accept a thought instead of fighting it, it loses power. So you don't need to push the thought away, you don't need to believe the thought. You just need to acknowledge and recognize that it's there. Because the goal is simple. Know the trigger, know the usual reaction, notice the thought, let it be there, that's it. I want you to write these down before the stressful moments happen. Write down the triggers you already know are coming. Write down the situations that usually cause emotional eating. Write down the thoughts you expect to have. Then your job is to get better at noticing them in the moment. Not reacting, not escaping, just noticing. This awareness becomes your release valve. It stops the pressure from building to the point of explosion. It gives you space between the trigger and the reaction. And that space is where the real change happens. Pre-planning and awareness are the foundation. If you don't do this step, nothing else works. But when you do, everything else becomes easier, calmer, and more controlled. The next step to stopping emotional eating at Christmas is learning how to let people be who they are. And Mel Robbins popularized this in let them theory. But this idea isn't new. It's rooted in acceptance and commitment therapy. It's rooted in mindfulness. It's rooted in stoicism and Buddhism. It's the same principle that has been taught for thousands of years. You cannot control other people, you cannot control their moods. You cannot control their reactions. You cannot control their expectations. You cannot control their behavior. Trying to control any of it is what creates the pressure inside you. Trying to manage everyone else's emotions is what makes you crumble. Trying to keep the peace is what makes you reach for food. So let them theory stops the pressure from building. Because when you let people be who they are, your nervous system relaxes. You stop fighting reality. You stop arguing with what you can't control. And your emotional load becomes lighter instantly. So let them be stressed, let them be late, let them be moody, let them complain, let them make comments, let them have their opinions, let them react how they react. Let them. When you let them, you are pulling the release valve on your pressure cooker. You're choosing to protect your energy instead of controlling everyone else's. You're choosing to stay grounded instead of trying to manage chaos. You're choosing peace over perfection. And here's how it applies at Christmas. If someone makes a comment about the food, let them. If someone complains about the timings, let them. If someone is in a bad mood, let them. If someone doesn't help, let them. If someone disapproves, let them. Your only job is to manage your internal state. Your only job is to take care of your emotional space. Your only job is to respond in a way that protects you. Let them theory isn't about being passive. It's about choosing what's worth your energy. It's about accepting reality instead of battling it. It's about releasing pressure instead of building it. When you let people be who they are, they stop controlling your behavior. They stop controlling your choices, they stop controlling your relationship with food. Letting them is one of the fastest ways to stop emotional eating. That's because it takes away the biggest source of stress you carry at Christmas. So now that you understand the pressure cooker, you need practical ways to release the pressure before it explodes. Really quick one for me, guys. I don't run ads on this podcast, and I do aim to give you as many high-value tips and tricks as I can for free. All I ask in return is that you help me spread the word. That way I can help as many people as I can to never die again. The way to do that is to rate, review, and share this podcast. A review will only take 30 seconds, but it would mean the world to me. But more importantly, it could help change the life of someone else. These are the non-negotiables that many of our clients use to stay calm, grounded, and in control throughout December. You don't need all of them, you just need ones that are relevant and support you. For many of our clients, daily walks are their non-negotiable. Walking lowers stress, it regulates the nervous system, it gives you space away from noise and family demands. Walking helps you process emotions instead of eating them. This is what I personally use. For many of our clients, protein at meals is a non-negotiable because protein keeps them full, protein stabilizes blood sugar, protein reduces cravings, protein stops the graze all-day pattern that fuels emotional eating. And alongside that, eating three solid meals per day is a non-negotiable for many of our clients. That's because it removes decision fatigue, it removes the need to snack, it removes the chaos of random eating. Three structured meals can bring calm into your day. Not snacking is another big non-negotiable for our clients. Snacking often comes from stress, not hunger. Snacking keeps you stuck in sugar burning mode. Snacking increases emotional eating. Eliminating snacks could be one of the most powerful things you do for your weight loss. Sleep is another non-negotiable. If you're tired, your cravings increase. If you're tired, patience disappeared. If you're tired, everything is harder. Protecting sleep protects your emotional stability. For many of our clients and myself included, breathing practices are the most powerful non-negotiable. Slow breathing is the fastest way to slow your nervous system and calm your nervous system. It pulls you out of fight or flight and it stops overwhelm building within your body. It gives you a pause before you react. A 60-second breathing break can stop an emotional eating binge in its tracks. And I want to stress here, slow breathing is the quickest way to impact your nervous system and downregulate yourself. Another thing I need to do to regulate my nervous system is to do everything more slowly. I have a habit of rushing everywhere. I do everything quickly, and that creates stress and anxiety. So moving slowly regulates the nervous system. Speaking slowly reduces emotional reactivity. Eating slowly increases awareness and satisfaction. Slowing down takes you out of survival mode and it creates space to make calm choices. So write down what your non-negotiables are and literally stick them into your calendar. Decide exactly when you are going to go on the walk or do some breathing or do some exercise. So everything that you've learned this episode is designed to release the pressure that stress builds. Every strategy is a release valve. Awareness releases the pressure. Let them theory releases the pressure. Your non-negotiables release the pressure. And each one keeps your emotional state stable. You're not going to do this perfectly. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to have moments where you slip up. That's completely normal. We're not aiming for perfection. We're aiming for small improvements. We're aiming for moments of awareness and we're aiming for tiny shifts that stop the emotional eating before it starts. And these lessons aren't just for December. These habits carry into the rest of the year. These mindset shifts will help you with stress at work, they help you with family dynamics, they help you with emotional eating long after December has passed. Because remember, the problem isn't Christmas, the problem is how much pressure you've been carrying. And now you finally have the skills to release it. If all this sounds very complicated and very difficult to do by yourself, I'm going to be very honest with you. It is. Even our clients who have full-time support from a team of experts who specifically help women over 40 with these problems, even they still struggle with this. This is hard. To rewire years of conditioning can take time. With that said, I'm now taking bookings to take on new coaching clients in January. Because the truth is, most of you listening to this right now are going to go and do exactly the same things that you do every single year. You're going to go back to dieting, you're going to go back to trying harder, you're going to go back to being more disciplined. And you're going to tell yourself this year it will be different. But doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is insanity. If you want different results, you have to do something different. You have to break the cycle, not repeat it. So by booking in for a food freedom breakthrough call by clicking the link below could be the most powerful decision you make for yourself this year. It's a chance to speak with experts who truly understand your situation. Experts who know emotional eating, stress, and mindset better than anyone. Experts who specifically help women over 40 to transform their lives every single day. January is going to be insanely busy for us and we are a small team. This is not a mass market program. This isn't a load of recorded videos. This is one-on-one coaching. So we only take on a limited number of women so we can coach them properly. It's first come, first served. If you want to break the emotional eating cycle for good, if you want to step into the new year with confidence and control, if you want to actually lose weight and keep it off in 2026, then book in for your food freedom breakthrough call by clicking the link below. I'll see you on the next one.