#107 Stop Making These Weight Loss Mistakes and Lose 20lbs

Most women don’t need more weight loss knowledge.

They know what to eat.
They know they should move more.
They know snacking, overeating, and “just a little taste” all add up.

But here’s the problem: there is often a huge gap between what you think you’re doing and what you’re actually doing.

And that gap is where weight loss stalls.

In this episode, I share a training taken directly from inside my Live360 coaching program, breaking down the 3 biggest weight loss mistakes we see again and again with women who feel stuck.

These aren’t complicated. They’re not extreme. And they’re definitely not about cutting out your favourite foods.

But they are the small, easy-to-miss habits that can quietly stop progress:
bites, licks and tastes that “don’t count,” eating past fullness because you hate wasting food, and underestimating how powerful daily movement really is.

If you feel like you’re doing everything right but the weight still isn’t moving, this episode will help you stop blaming yourself and start seeing what’s actually going on.

Because the problem usually isn’t discipline.
 It’s awareness.

And once you see these patterns clearly, everything can start moving again.

Watch my The Cravings & Fat-Burning Masterclass:  https://www.neverdietagainmethod.uk/register-podcast

Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/max.lowery/

Book a Food Freedom Breakthrough Call: https://www.neverdietagainmethod.uk/call-ig

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

The woman I speak to every single day don't have a knowledge problem. They have an awareness problem. Because the reality is the women we work with are intelligent, they've done the diet, they know what they should be doing, and yet they're still not getting the results that they want. It's not because they're lazy, it's not because they lack discipline. It's because there's a gap. And there's a gap between what they think they're doing and what they're actually doing. And that gap is where fat loss stalls. And inside our Live360 coaching program, we see the same patterns come up again and again, especially with clients who start strong, make progress, and then suddenly feel stuck. And then we look closer, it's often nothing complicated. It's the basics, the small habits that creep back in, the things that don't feel like they matter, the behaviors that go unnoticed. So this episode is a training taken directly from inside my one-on-one coaching program. And it breaks down the three biggest weight loss mistakes we see time and time again. And once we bring these into your awareness, everything will start to move again. Let's get into it. How do you create a life that allows you to lose weight? Eat the foods that you love and sustain the results. Over the last 10 years, I've helped thousands of people do exactly that. I'm Max Lowry, an author, political trainer, and weightless coach. In this podcast, I'm going to share my top tips and tricks from within my one-on-one coaching program. It's my goal to give you the tools and understanding so that you never dominate it again. So I wanted to talk about the three biggest weight loss mistakes that we see time and time again. And there's a training in this in the program. And you guys might have heard this before, depending on how long you've been in the program. But people need to be reminded more than they need to be taught. And what we would say is probably the number one thing that we see, especially with our longer-term clients, when maybe things stop moving for whatever reason, is because they've forgotten these three things. So, and they're very, very basic. So it's always about like returning back to the basics. So we are going to constantly remind you of these on most coaching calls, on group calls, in the trainings, because these are the three biggest weight loss mistakes that we see. Let's give some more context before we go into this as well. So, what the three biggest mistakes that I'm going to talk about here are really like, you know, stripping it to back to its basics in terms of creating a calorie deficit. Okay, these are the three things that we see get in the way of creating calorie deficit. And all the things you've listed 100% are true as well. Um, and there are a whole host of things, other things which make it harder to stay in a calorie deficit. But these are the kind of three practical back to basic things, all right? So let's get into it. The truth and the reality of the situation that you guys don't have a knowledge problem. Okay, you've done all the different diets, right? You have a fair amount of information on what you should be doing. The problem is an awareness problem. Okay, so what you are not aware of, you cannot change and improve. And that's ultimately where the value lies of having coaches, right? You're getting expert uh opinion with you know years of experience, thousands and like tens of thousands of coaching hours, uh, to help you become more aware of what the things the potential blockages are. So, number one reason for weight not coming off is something that we call, and I stole this off a off a client, um, which is great the BLTs bites, licks, tastes. This is definitely something that we've seen with certain clients, is there are there are these stories that they tell themselves that these bites, licks, and tastes don't count. They do, they can really add up. And they've done research and studies on this. Uh, there was a study in the states on 24,000 people. Of those 24,000 people, 90% of them were snacking bites, licks, and tastes. And of those 90 of the ones that were snacking, they were consuming 400 to 600 calories a day just in the bites, the licks, the tastes, the snacks. That's basically another meal on top of what you're already eating. And so the thing is, it's just become normalized, this kind of snacking culture, uh eating frequently throughout the day. But you know, I'm 36 in my lifetime. I remember when I was what, I don't know, nine, 10, 11, snacking was frowned upon. Like you didn't snack, you had your three square meals. If you snacked in between, you're basically ruining your appetite for your main meal. Does that is that just me? Do you do you guys remember that as well? And so at some point in the last kind of 20 or 30 years, that's been flipped on its head. And that is mainly because of big food. So, you know, companies like Nestlé and you know, these giant, giant food corporations who have normalized snacking, and of course, they have created their their food-like products to fill the gaps in between the meals. So they've just opened up a massive market. You know, there's loads of examples of this. Like I think it was Gillette that basically decided that women weren't meant to have any hair on their bodies, so that they would start to uh, you know, sell more razors ultimately, right? So there's loads of examples of like big, big companies coming in and creating a market and making a problem uh which wasn't there before. So this all adds up, and I would say this is probably the number one reason uh that we see clients what usually happens is it's eliminated for the first four to six weeks of the program, and then it bit by bit starts to kind of creep back in when you've lost some weight, you're feeling a bit better about yourself, um, and your usual habits kind of resume. So what I want to constantly remind you of this, guys. The number one way to stop the BLTs is to do exactly what Gail has been doing, which is fuel it fueling yourself properly. Okay, so have the breakfast, the lunch, the dinner, and that way your if we think of like hunger like a pressure cooker, so if you go extended periods without eating, that pressure starts to build up. And if it builds up to a certain point, it will the pressure cooker will explode and you'll be you know overeating and binging and snack and snacking, right? But if you fuel yourself properly, every time you eat, you're reducing the pressure, right? So fueling yourself properly is great. And then obviously there's the emotional side, which can lead to the BLTs as well. But I think often BLTs is is less it's less emotional and more kind of habit, boredom, routine, and mindless, which is why it can be a bit of a problem. So really be honest with yourselves there. Letitia says, I used to always say mummy tax the children when they had cake brownie, etc. And I felt like it didn't count, even though I have four, which says a lot of taxes. Yeah, I hear all the time in conversations with with women, right? Oh, you know, I need a treat. I need a treat. You give treats to a dog. If you feel like weight isn't moving the way that you want it to, be honest with yourself. And it's crazy how we forget what we've done and what we've eaten. Um, like if you look at any kind of nutritional data like uh and studies, people are very, very bad at remembering what they ate for breakfast like the earlier in the day. So really live your life with as much awareness as you can. Like Gail, for example, I just love that example. You know, she she had that moment where she's like, she started this process, she started to kind of ask herself questions and take things slower, and now she has more awareness. In that moment, she had awareness that, oh, this is the moment where usually I turn to food. But then actually, she asks herself some questions in that moment. Well, is the food actually going to make me feel better? Uh no, is it it might actually make me feel worse? What else could I do? Oh, I could do some dancing. Like, just start to really slow down and ask yourself questions and have more awareness in your life, and your life will change in ways you don't can't even realize. And Sarah has a very good point. If you have something every day, it's not a treat anymore. 100%, you know, it's not to demonize certain foods, but if you get used to kind of having something sweet, like a sweet treat every single day, when eventually maybe you go out, do go out for a nice meal and there's a nice dessert, it's kind of less special in some ways because you've just kind of been eating sweet things all week. Right, let's move into well pointing numbers. And you know, summing up basically what I just said. Are you actually aware of everything you eat? So, number two, not being aware of what we call the hunger scale is incredibly powerful. Okay, so what does that mean? So, really, we don't want you, if we can help it, to eat into the eights and nines and tens, right? 10 being like uncomfortably full, it's like I've been on some Christmas days where I actually like have to lie down on my side like a like a dog because I'm that full. Um, nine being just beneath that, eight being like stuffed, kind of bit lethargic. Whereas six and seven is like kind of satisfied, could eat more, but actually don't need to eat more. And this ultimately comes from practicing mindful eating. So, really again, slowing down, eating without any distractions, get get rid of your phone, get rid of the TV, um, really connect with what you're doing, eat slower, and you will be able to, rather than like going because the thing is, it takes time for you to feel full. So, if you eat quickly, like I do, and I'm really bad at this, and I have to practice this myself to being brutally honest, if you eat quickly, before you even realize it, you're an eight, nine, and ten. The difference between eating to a six and a seven and an eight, nine, and a ten could be uh what you know, one to three hundred calories. If you do this, if you if you have a habit of going to eight, nine, and ten, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, seven days a week, every four weeks in a month in a year, that's thousands and thousands and thousands of extra calories that you don't actually need. So this is really powerful. You know, this has the potential to save those thousands of calories without being restrictive, without cutting out your favorite foods. You know, you can still have the dessert, but maybe you don't need to finish the dessert if it's too much, which moves us into, yeah, so leads us into why people do this, and it's the food waste belief. I can't waste food. Raise your hand here if you were raised with not wanting to waste food. So I think it's a product of you know parents and grandparents growing up through um the war, rationing, things like that. This belief of not, and I really don't like uh wasting food. Um, I feel like I should finish what's on my plate all the time. But ultimately, that does push me into eights, nines, and tens when I could finish at six and seven. So this is really, really important. Um, which moves us into if you don't like waste, you become the bin, right? If you're eating finishing what's on your plate because you don't like the idea of wasting food, you are the bin. Do you guys want to be the bin? But it really is true, right? You you won't throw it in the bin, but you'll eat it. And you know, look, you know, there are feelings and emotions which can make this difficult, but you know, you you could put it into Tupperware and eat it the next day. There are a whole host of things you could do. But ultimately, it's being okay with throwing food in the bin, right? You know, obviously what my parents would say is, you know, there are starving children in Africa and all this kind of stuff. Like, that's true, but they're not gonna get this food here right now. Like, you know, there are other ways in which we can help them, but they're not gonna get, you know, us eating overeating because they're under eating doesn't make much sense to me. You know, what you're describing is a legitimate um fundamental fear that human beings have, right? Of being hungry and going without food. So, you know, I think it's really important to have kind of empathy and understanding for that, uh, because you know, this food environment that we're living in is completely unnatural to how we have evolved as human beings. And so the environment has changed. We've got, you know, in in the UK anyway, not so much here, but you can literally get like a packet of sweets delivered to your door by Uber Eats or whatever it is, right? It's just never happened before. Um, so the food environment has completely changed, but us as human beings, physiologically and psychologically, have not changed. So we're still hardwired to seek out all these high-energy foods. So, you know, once we kind of have understanding and compassion for that instead of like blame, um, that can be very powerful. But yeah, Kerry, ultimately this comes from um right now you don't have a lot of evidence that you will be okay eating a bit less. So, with practice, you will build evidence to realize that, oh, actually, I'm completely fine. I don't need to eat anywhere near as much as I thought I did. And as you continue to improve your metabolic flexibility as well, um, going extended periods without eating will become less of a less less and less of a problem. To a certain extent, obviously you don't want to end up on the other end of the hunger scale when you're on the ones and the twos, where like uh like I said, the pressure cooker builds up too much. Yes. But uh yeah, you want to build up that trust gradually um in the right in the right uh order. But that's a very good point, Kerry. Your parents aren't horrible people on the whole. You know, I've spoken to some you know pensive women and their parents are horrible people, but you know, on the whole, they're not. They were trying their best, they thought they were doing the best for their children. But you know, forcing children to eat past the point of fullness is gonna cause problems, uh, for sure. And you know you're not gonna be intuitive, you're not gonna be able to listen to your body, you're not gonna trust your body, uh, there's gonna be guilt, you know, you're because that's like impacting your nervous system from a very young age, right? So it doesn't matter what your brain is telling you, your brain is saying, no, like I don't need to eat that food. If there's a fundamental um kind of imprint on your nervous system of leaving food is unsafe and dangerous, and it's gif I feel guilty, then it's gonna be very difficult not to do that. As always, the first step is awareness, and that's ultimately what this conversation is about. We want you to be aware of the thoughts, the beliefs that go through your head on a day-to-day basis that lead to you eating more than you you should. And what you'll find a lot of the time, you you're eating um, you know, many calories which have nothing to do with real genuine physical hunger. All right, so let's move into the third one, which is steps or movement. You don't need to smash ridiculous hard workouts, hit sessions, spend seven hours in the gym a week or whatever it is to lose weight, but moving more, being more active generally with things like steps, which is known as non-exercise activity thermogenesis, is uh the secret weapon for weight loss. I know some of you uh do have injuries, so you can still get the results that you want, moving less for sure. The nutrition is the bigger lever to bull to pull in terms of weight loss, but being more conscious of movement and really we're moving into the time of year where movement is easier, it's lighter, more hours in the day, it's beautiful or becoming beautiful. So the Western world, like I've there's statistics in the USA, and the UK is probably not that much better, but people spend 90% of their time indoors. 90% of their time, which makes sense. You're asleep indoors, you're in work indoors, maybe there's some commuting time. If you work from home, do you even leave the house? So, you know, the Western environment is encouraging people to be sedentary. So, like, there's no blame, there's no judgment here. Like, we are fighting against what's known as like an obesogenic environment. Okay, we are having to move less and less and less and less. And you know, obviously we're talking about weight loss, but lack of movement, you know, people are spending 90% of their time indoors and then wondering why their mental health is being impacted, right? People are not moving their bodies and sitting in a chair all day and wondering why they have back problems and you know, hip pain, and it's a it's a big problem. And I I know for me personally, for me to be a happy, well-rounded person, I need to be outside, I need to be moving. Uh like that, that's clear. So you can burn. If we're going to talk about like calories, right? And weight loss, if you were to get around 10,000 steps in, and I know that number is plucked out of thin air, there isn't actually any like research behind it, right? But like just say 10,000 steps, that could be five, six hundred calories, depending on various factors. So five or six hundred calories burnt, that's more than you will get in a hard workout. Okay, so you being active throughout the day, you will burn more calories than you will in a hard workout. Plus, there's another benefit. So, what happens to your hunger levels when you do hard workouts? They should they shoot up. Of course, getting the steps in doesn't raise hunger. You're burning more calories, it doesn't raise hunger levels. Once you start getting to 15, 20,000 steps, then yeah, it's gonna start to raise hunger levels, but seven to twelve thousand steps, not gonna raise hunger levels, but you're burning all these calories. So you're gonna feel like you're more in control. Second thing, what what other potential negative side effects is there from um doing very hard training sessions? You do these hard hit workouts and you feel stiff and sore, which means you actually end then up being less active throughout the day because you're stiff and sore. But there's also a psychological thing as well. It's like, well, I've done my hard workout, now I can lie down for the rest of the day. Now I can eat the pizza or eat whatever food I want. So be as active as you can in a way that fits into your life. Okay. I don't want you to be like, right, I've just had this group call with Max. I know I need to do more steps. Now I need to do 20,000 steps every single day. If I miss a day, I failed. That's not what I'm I'm asking or suggesting. Just be as active as you can in a way that fits into your life. Like, yes, do challenge yourself. Like, where could you get more activity in? Uh, Gail gave a great example earlier. She started dancing. Dancing is great exercise. You know, where on the very, very rare occasions that I do go out like partying and go listen to some music, and I, you know, maybe go to bed quite late, I'll literally like burn 15, 20,000 steps just on the dance floor. So dancing is a great way to get that neat activity up. But I think a big mistake people make with step count is they hyper focus on the day. Today I have to get 10,000 steps in or I failed. If I've used the term zooming out before. So for those of you that have heard me use the term zooming out, how could you apply zooming out to this? So look at the weekly average rather than hyper focusing on the daily. Then you know, zoom out even more. What have you got in a month? What's the monthly average? You know, except that there will be periods where maybe you can't get as many steps in as you would like, and that's okay. You know, don't beat yourself up. But on the whole, the goal isn't to do 10,000 steps, the goal is to become someone who loves moving their body. When you become someone who loves moving their body, it doesn't matter what is going on in your life. You will go out of your way to move. Okay, so really make the most of the changing of the seasons and really notice how moving more makes you feel. I mean, raise your hand here if you know that you are a better person when you move your body more. Why does what we're talking about matter? So it's about that awareness, right? So it's not it's about aligning what you think you're doing with what you're actually doing. This is an important thing because you'll think you're doing all these, like you think you're not doing the BLTs, you think you're eating until six and seven, you think you're getting the steps in, but what you're actually doing consistently might be something else. And when there's a gap between those things, then potentially the results that you want aren't gonna be there. So it's just about stripping it back to its basics, being honest, no, no guilt, no blame, just just looking at the the facts ultimately. So I'm gonna leave you with something which is a really important message. So this isn't a diet, you don't have to be restrictive, but you still need to put in effort, you still need to push yourself outside your comfort zone, you still need to ask yourself difficult questions, otherwise, this process doesn't work. Okay, so it's not a diet, it's not restriction, but you still need to push hard and often do more than you think you need to do. So, like, just to give you an example, I invest in myself heavily. I've done for five years, right? Or longer. So I have my own coaches and mentors. I'm working with, and I've had quite a few of these other coaches who who are on the same kind of mentorships as me on the podcast. And so, you know, probably like last year, or no, maybe like two years ago, I thought I was working hard, right? I thought I was working hard. Then I surrounded myself with people who are having bigger impact, helping more people on a complete, completely different level. And I realized what they were doing. I'm like, wow, I'm not working hard. I need to step up. But I didn't know that. I thought I was doing enough. So this is kind of what I'm talking about here. Like sometimes you think you're doing enough, but you're not. And there's no blame, no judgment. It's about having that awareness that maybe you're not, and maybe you need to do more as long as it's sensible. I'm not talking about more in terms of restriction and deprivation, but just more of kind of what we're talking about here. All right, that's the end of the presentation for tonight.