Ever wished you could navigate the complexities of social interaction with ease, knowing when to step in and when to step back? Ever wondered about the influence of personal boundaries, gossip and meddling in relationships? In our chat with your favorite hosts, Michelle and Jules, we promise to shed light on all of this and more. We unfold personal experiences, share insights on knowing when it's appropriate to intervene in other people's affairs and the significance of respecting boundaries across various life dynamics, including family, workplace, friendships and social circles. This episode is all about understanding the importance of considering others' well-being, and the maturity involved in minding one's own business.
Our conversation takes an exciting turn as we examine the potential hazards of meddling in relationships and the harmful effects of gossip. We recount personal anecdotes on how meddling can masquerade as bonding over drama while highlighting the importance of making independent decisions and setting boundaries in relationships. Get ready for thought-provoking discussions on the repercussions of appearances of impropriety, especially at the workplace, and the essential role of minding one's own business in different scenarios.
Finally, we celebrate the beauty of individuality and underscore the importance of setting boundaries. We discuss certain controversial individuals we follow on social media and express our admiration for their authenticity. We also delve into the concept of political correctness in the workplace, and share a personal experience of being reprimanded for not adhering to it. As we reflect on the importance of standing up for one's beliefs, we hope this episode inspires you to navigate life's intricacies with ease, respect and appreciate individuality, and understand the importance of simply minding your own business.
Ever wished you could navigate the complexities of social interaction with ease, knowing when to step in and when to step back? Ever wondered about the influence of personal boundaries, gossip and meddling in relationships? In our chat with your favorite hosts, Michelle and Jules, we promise to shed light on all of this and more. We unfold personal experiences, share insights on knowing when it's appropriate to intervene in other people's affairs and the significance of respecting boundaries across various life dynamics, including family, workplace, friendships and social circles. This episode is all about understanding the importance of considering others' well-being, and the maturity involved in minding one's own business.
Our conversation takes an exciting turn as we examine the potential hazards of meddling in relationships and the harmful effects of gossip. We recount personal anecdotes on how meddling can masquerade as bonding over drama while highlighting the importance of making independent decisions and setting boundaries in relationships. Get ready for thought-provoking discussions on the repercussions of appearances of impropriety, especially at the workplace, and the essential role of minding one's own business in different scenarios.
Finally, we celebrate the beauty of individuality and underscore the importance of setting boundaries. We discuss certain controversial individuals we follow on social media and express our admiration for their authenticity. We also delve into the concept of political correctness in the workplace, and share a personal experience of being reprimanded for not adhering to it. As we reflect on the importance of standing up for one's beliefs, we hope this episode inspires you to navigate life's intricacies with ease, respect and appreciate individuality, and understand the importance of simply minding your own business.
Hey everybody, this is Michelle. Hey Michelle. How's it going? Jules, not bad. How are you?
Speaker 2:Good, good good, yeah, we're getting ready to record during the holiday season.
Speaker 1:I can't even believe we are really in the midst of it all. Yeah, it's kind of crazy, but you done your decorating. I have not done my decorating yet.
Speaker 2:Oh goodness but.
Speaker 1:I don't even know if I'm going to get a tree. We're fostering a dog for a couple weeks and she's a bigger dog and she's got a tail. That's a weapon. So I'm going to be like de-dogging my house, I guess, putting things up, and I think if I had a tree she'd just be wiping all the ornaments off it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we don't need as much as we used to have anyway, probably all decorated up in our houses.
Speaker 1:So I love all the things that I see on Instagram. Yeah, for example, ice cubes in a tray.
Speaker 2:Ice cubes in a tray with like raspberries.
Speaker 1:Drop two cranberries in each one and a little sprig of rosemary. How pretty is that.
Speaker 2:And festive. Have you been doing some Pinteresting?
Speaker 1:No, that's just on Instagram. I started following this Christmas I don't know DIY Christmas thing and so all these Christmas ideas are coming up.
Speaker 2:That is a really good idea.
Speaker 1:I know Red and green, the cranberries, the sprig of rosemary makes it look a little evergreenish and then you can just put it in water. Or you know cranberry, a drink, whatever, vodka, yeah, vodka, vodka.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my thing is, I want to bake, I like to bake and bake all kinds of cookies.
Speaker 1:What's your favorite Christmas?
Speaker 2:cookie, oh gosh. Well, a lot of them aren't like. I'll do some shortbread ones and things like that, but I like to do more. You know, like peanut brittle and you know, like everything with chocolate.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Anything with chocolate of course, Spritz cookies are my favorite. If you make them right, they melt in your mouth. Yeah, and you have that cute little gun.
Speaker 2:You know make something up, make all the little shapes. And yeah, my aunt, margie, makes these Swedish cookies that we always are begging her for. You know, she's done it ever since we were little and they, they must take forever. They're so cute. They look just like macaroons almost, oh, and they're melt in your flipping mouth. And they've got. They've got like frosting in the middle of them so good. I really hope she doesn't make them this year if I see her, because I just gobble them down.
Speaker 1:But sweet, so Swedish. Do you come from a Swedish background?
Speaker 2:Yeah, my dad.
Speaker 1:Swedish. Yeah, irish and Swedish.
Speaker 2:But she's married to my uncle Folke. Uncle Folke, oh, I've met them, yes, and they she is. She's like one of those amazing cooks, amazing everything she does, decorating everything.
Speaker 1:So did you open your presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas day? When we were little we would open when you were home. Oh, when we were younger, we would open like one on Christmas.
Speaker 2:Eve, and then we weren't allowed to get up in the morning until my parents got up and then my. This is very different than a lot of families, but we would hand out each present and then each person would open their own present and then then you'd go to the next present.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cause it just made it last longer. Oh, I did that with my kids, but growing up, because of Swedish tradition, is Christmas Eve, so I come from a Swedish background, so growing up we opened our presents on Christmas.
Speaker 2:Eve.
Speaker 1:All of them, yes, oh well, I like that, because then we would wake up the next morning with all the Santa stuff and it wouldn't be as overwhelming Actually that's a really good idea, not that it matters now.
Speaker 2:I know but yeah, we would spread everything out and make it look like Santa had left this huge thing, and of course you know the youngest here. He would be up at like four in the morning ready to go.
Speaker 1:You mean make it look like Santa probably did leave all that stuff. Okay, thank you, thank you, you're absolutely right, Santa Brian and Santa Julie left it. Yeah Well okay.
Speaker 2:So, as we're in our holiday season we are we have a kind of a topic that we thought would be fun to touch on, because it seems to be something that affects all of our lives, and the question to you all is how do you mind your own damn business Right? Or do you mind your own damn business, or should you, or should you? Yeah, are there times?
Speaker 1:when you know how I feel about the should word.
Speaker 2:I don't like what I should have what I could have, but there's times when you have to kind of evaluate. Maybe we have a couple of examples of what that might look like. But when people are trying to mind their own business, they do it more for their own peace and happiness, I would think.
Speaker 1:I think that's probably true and depending on the well, not really even depending, I think well, kind of depending. Let me go back there.
Speaker 1:I think, depending on the situation or the circumstances in which you are mining or not mining business, to I think family dynamics are going to be a lot different, yes, than the dynamics of a workplace, or the dynamics of a friendship circle, or the dynamics of church circles, or dating or social circle. Yeah, there's just like so many different categories I have strong opinions about some of those categories I think a lot of it comes down to.
Speaker 2:you know, for me now, like when you look at minding your business, it's when I see someone is being emotionally hurt or obviously physically hurt or something like that, I would have a tendency to get involved or not get involved, but maybe give them a heads up.
Speaker 2:You know if it's something that I'm learning about. But that experience that happened with me early on with a friend who shared some information with me, that was gossip, probably true, you know. To some degree it probably was true, but I didn't handle it really well. I mean, I believed probably some of it and it really when it came full. I won't get into all the details, but when it came full circle it destroyed my friendship with her because she was held accountable for providing information to me. That wasn't validated, I guess, is the point, but she was trying to be a good friend to me.
Speaker 1:Do you ever have somebody come up? This made me think of you know. There have been times when somebody will say, and this has come up actually in the workplace, when I was in a position of leadership. Somebody will say to me well, I want to tell you something, but you have to promise you won't tell so and so, yeah, you can't do that when you're in a position. And I would say then, then, don't tell me.
Speaker 2:I can't promise that, because you have a responsibility to escalate it if there's sexual harassment or something going on, you know, unless it's something that they just want some personal advice on and are asking you because you have experience with a certain thing but you still don't share that with other people.
Speaker 1:I think that can be true, though, in just in life too, in family situations and different situations. What do you think if it's a family member and they say we'll have something I want to tell you, but you have to promise me you won't tell, blah, blah, blah about, and it's a family?
Speaker 1:It could be, whoever could be. A sister could be, brother-in-law could be, I don't know. There's a million scenarios. I know that's really generic, but when somebody I mean, what do you think about that? When somebody comes to you outside of the workplace, because we know our duty there, but when somebody comes to you and says Family, anything, really.
Speaker 2:I want to tell you something, but you have to promise me that you won't tell so and so that's tough. I think a lot of it would depend on what it is. I mean if the person's safe, if they're you know I saw that they were scrolling how to kill themselves, you know, or something like that.
Speaker 1:I mean if it was something awful like that. But see, you don't know, because all they're saying is you have to promise me that you won't say anything.
Speaker 2:You have to just say I can't promise that because I don't know what you're going to tell me so if you don't feel comfortable telling me, then I understand.
Speaker 1:That's hard, isn't it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, if someone's in danger or something is not is going to affect them negatively in some way, then that might be a different story. You know, especially. You know like you see, for example, a lot of I don't know where I came up with this, but like elderly people are scammed by Well, we did an episode on that. Well, that was, that was the elder, elder abuse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was part of it.
Speaker 2:But as a family member stepping in, you know you've a lot of the time, those seniors, they don't want their family members to know because they don't want to feel stupid or be questioned or what have you? So they may not say a word and then their money's all gone and their retirement's gone and everything, because nobody was able to step in and help them. But sometimes people don't want to be helped.
Speaker 1:Right, you know and that's.
Speaker 2:That's the other thing. It's like they may. They may tell you something, because they just need to vent and not ask you to fix their problems for them. And if they're coming to you, then it's usually in a in a confident way where you can give advice on what they're doing right you know and hopefully be able to, to help them with that. And if you can't help them with that, I mean there's not a lot you can do.
Speaker 1:I don't think. Yeah, advice standpoint is is different, but yeah, and I guess to your point, just asking questions of somebody does that. You know, I have to tell you something about Susie, but you have to promise that you won't say anything.
Speaker 2:It makes me uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Me too. I think that minding your own business, or the thought of you know why people sometimes don't mind their own business or or choose to get involved in other people's affairs, is a lack of maturity, or that's one component. So you see this a lot more, I would say, maybe with younger people that are just kind of learning their way around. I mean, I can remember working at Nordstrom and there was a lot of that. I mean there's a ton of that going on all the time, and it wasn't just our, our division or anything. It was everywhere. But when people were miserable in their jobs it became even more prevalent. I think you know, and then you'd have to.
Speaker 1:If you're hearing about things, you got to address them because you know you're, and that's probably true in a lot of workplace situations to a certain degree, yeah, I would say so.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when you know the trying to get involved in quote metal in someone's affairs. It could be for your own self pleasure or your own self worth, because you don't have anything else to do or you want, don't want, to deal with your own problems, you know so you're getting involved in other people's problems.
Speaker 1:Or you don't want to deal. Did you just say that, yeah, you don't want to deal with your own ish or shit or whatever it is. You don't want to deal with your own. So you focus on and diving into other people's.
Speaker 2:Even if you make yourself available for people that you know they, they know they can go to you, then you're going to run across that a lot more.
Speaker 1:I feel like that would be so kind of exhausting, don't you?
Speaker 2:yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean the older I get, I I there was plenty of that when I was younger, but I think the older I've gotten, that's why I say exhausting, because you really I do anyways have learned how to protect my peace, yeah, and what, what you allow, I mean I. I went through a situation in my life that and I just remember, you know, saying to somebody I was like do you know how hard I've worked to have a drama free?
Speaker 2:life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and, and so when, when it works its way in in one way, shape or form you, it's noticeable, mm-hmm, very noticeable.
Speaker 2:I've got enough my own shit going on. I don't necessarily need to have everybody else's in my business too, I mean yeah people that are, you know, really close to me and stuff. Of course I'm gonna be there and help them with whatever and, you know, offer advice if they ask for it. I might not be the right advice, but maybe my own opinion or whatever, but oh, I mean if they ask for it, you know.
Speaker 1:Do you think people who like controlling personalities? And you feel like controlling personalities maybe tend to get caught up in yes in other people's, I Think that net.
Speaker 2:so it might be not just the fact that they are Controlling, but what is beneath that level of control?
Speaker 1:It's like if they don't have their hands around, whatever it is, it's in front of them they they get really anxious Maybe maybe they feel if they have that controlling type personality and are feeling out of control themselves, trying to wrap themselves around something that they can have control over or even manipulate a circumstance to get the outcome that they want. You know, so they have to know information to be able to do that.
Speaker 2:That's. That's a lot of stuff.
Speaker 1:That is a lot of stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean honestly, if you see people like that, you just need to kind of run the other direction. I mean that's. I mean I now I'm kind of at the point in my life where I Will. I can sense things in people where I just I'm like, yes, something's not. I don't feel like this person is as genuine or they're more interested in hearing about yeah which I have a hard time with all that stuff. Anyway, you know, I'm just so oblivious.
Speaker 2:Yeah but I've been trying to pay more attention to it because you can see, you know lack of genuineness. You know in people or if they're asking for question, they're asking questions about things because they're just nosy, or you know if they genuinely can are concerned with somebody or care about something you know it's interesting because I've had People I keep this real generic because I've had people in my life who tend to ask a lot of questions that it makes me uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:It's like they're just asking questions but they're pretty kind of nosy questions and it makes me uncomfortable to like and I have to really be cognizant of how I'm answering the questions. Well, do you have to answer? I don't have to answer, but but you know it's I can't be more generic, I have to be that generic about it. But yeah, it's, it's I don't have to know why don't we have to?
Speaker 2:but we're always worried about being impolite. Yeah, and things like that, but it kind of. I mean, I've seen people respond to you know when there's an inappropriate, you know a question where they're like you don't even know me, why are you asking? Me, yeah, just like well, if I tell you I'm gonna have to kill you, you know, or you know, say things like that, make a joke out of it, but it kind of you know, shuts them down, especially if they don't know them or just like wow, I'm kind of uncomfortable with that question.
Speaker 1:You know, and when I, when I first started the the job that I work at now, I was really Very mindful about what information I shared when I first started, because you don't- know yeah because you don't know other people and their personalities and their Situations and where they come from, what they like or don't like, what they approve of, what they don't approve of, so I Don't know. I just, for whatever reason, I was really careful about what I shared.
Speaker 2:About me personally. Yeah, I mean, that kind of makes sense too if you're in a, you're in a business setting. You know when you start getting to know someone they might and learn a little bit more about you. But really I mean it's like you're friendly, you're nice your cooperative. You're helpful, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, those things, but you're trying to get a job done.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but then it then it became kind of, kind of weird. I'm like there's like so much about me that has to do with who I know. Yeah yeah, because I've never done that before. And so when I started this I was like I'm just gonna like pull back a little bit. I'm gonna be careful about what I share, I'm just not gonna you know. And then it was kind of challenging because, like I said, so much about me has to do with all that stuff. Yeah, I.
Speaker 2:I remember when Brian, when he was, he had a squad I think it was the SWAT team or something, but all these guys were, you know, a little younger. They play a lot of jokes on each other and everything and he had he would not tell them anything about nothing yeah so what do they do? They go start googling and doing all this stuff to try to figure out if he was in the military and where he was.
Speaker 2:And then they come to me and go come on, you gotta tell us you gotta tell us what the down low is, and I was like I don't know what you're talking about. I just totally had his back on that one. But they, they did end up finding Something. I don't I can't remember what it was specifically, but it had to do with when he was in the military and they were trying to verify they were just like went out of their way. The more secretive he was about it, the more nosy Right, right, and he's. He just kept his lips shut.
Speaker 1:He didn't say a word.
Speaker 2:That's funny. Yeah, I made him. Want to know more, yeah but you know something they, you know some lines of work You're. It's obviously a little bit more casual. Yeah so so why do you think people are Having trouble or don't mind their own business? You?
Speaker 1:why people don't mind their own business. Yeah probably because they have nothing. I mean you, I think about that, and sometimes there really are people that don't have anything better to do. Yeah, they might be lonely in their own lives and you know. So try to get caught up. I guess I don't even know if they try to. I think maybe sometimes people Unintentionally get caught up. Yeah, they try to fill their their own voice.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when I was growing up there there, I can't believe I'm gonna admit this because I was such a little brat but we had a neighbor that was down the street and we called her Mrs Big Nose. That's just what. We called her, mrs Big Nose.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when we were kids we called her that because she would wear her like house coat and then, if you can kind of envision, you know, with her hands clasped behind her back, and she would just gradually Kind of saunter up the street for her walk right, well, she was wanting to see what was going. She was going slow because she was wanting to see what was happening. I think in every one of the houses and with all of the kids, and then, the moment she saw you, she's digging, digging for information.
Speaker 1:Oh really, oh my god, yeah, that's funny.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was kind of, I was probably pretty disrespectful to her at some point, I'm sure, because I just saw her and I'm just like, oh no, there she is, I'm out of here. You know, I didn't want to have anything to do with her, I didn't, I didn't care for her. I mean, she's always trying to find bad stuff going on in the neighborhood you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I tried to stay away from her and you know, in in in hindsight, she probably was just loads of them Like you said I was a little kid so I wouldn't have even thought of it that way, but I was more like, hey, she goes, she wants to know all this stuff and I'm not telling her, you know that's not gonna learn it.
Speaker 2:For me, yeah, kind of a deal. But yeah, when you you see teenagers and you know young adults and hey, all the stuff out there right now is about tea, the tea, let's get the tea, the down low on on so-and-so or what's going on or how things are going, and you know it's kind of makes for, you know, fun conversation I suppose at some point.
Speaker 1:But when there's bad stuff that's going on, it's like, oh, maybe there's like yeah, and you know what I have to bring social media up here, I know that's the worst.
Speaker 1:I mean it, because we put myself included, we put so much out there about ourselves and our personal things that we have going on, because it's a way of communicating what you got going on in your life, you know, and so I suppose you have to be cognizant about what you're putting on there and obviously, whatever it is you're putting on there, you're okay with people knowing right, but have you ever had people there's just people that air way too personal of a stuff Like it's concerning yeah, like and between spouses and just in family things.
Speaker 1:You see, sometimes people get out there and we'll like have a rant about whatever and it's-.
Speaker 2:A lot of the rants, if you can recall, over the last four years, have been politically motivated obviously too.
Speaker 2:And boy oh boy, you learn very quickly who you don't align with, on different thought processes. And, frankly, I don't need to see 15 posts a day from so and so about a Fox News article. I just don't, you know. So not to say I don't like those people, I just don't necessarily need to see their social media Right, you know, because we just don't need to, Just like I don't, and I remember putting I had put something up I can't remember what it was and Mary's, like you probably shouldn't do that and I'm like why it's my personal page. It wasn't anything controversial, it really controversial. It was just more like I don't know what it was like about Ruth Bader Ginsburg or something.
Speaker 2:I don't remember what it was, but there are plenty of people that follow me or follow our business that are very conservative in nature and stuff, but it's not like that really matters to me. It's like I like helping people who you know. It's a totally different thing. It has nothing to do with your political beliefs, right.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:So or any of those other things. But yeah, I think that social media is very dangerous because people have the ability to dig into other people's stuff or surmise about what's happening with someone or make their own judgments or opinions based on whatever, and they have no problem posting things and there's no filter and that stuff is it can be really dangerous. I think it can be really and very hurtful you know, as when people are behind a keyboard.
Speaker 1:It's amazing how brave they are. I think you have to know that. Be ready for people to insert themselves in your business if you're gonna put that business out there, right?
Speaker 1:So I guess that's why I bring that up you know, in regard to mining your own business, it's like if there's stuff you you know, don't air the laundry or whatever if you are wanting to keep that private, because there's plenty of people out there that might envy your life and find it more interesting than their own and really get try to get caught up in that, or they get really critical of things which you know you don't, especially if you've got something like on social media that is maybe controversial, or you know or not.
Speaker 2:maybe it's controversial to them but not to you, and so they drop their opinions on everything.
Speaker 1:And yeah.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of lonely people.
Speaker 1:A lot of lonely people that are out on social media that don't have anything better to do. Did I like encompass, like more than a few things there? Lonely people don't have anything better to do?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and again it's a really easy way to text or type something and slam somebody you know when you don't have to. Yeah make themselves feel better about. Yeah. So I mean, that's kind of not you know, the gossip thing, I guess, but I think that people I mentioned earlier about maturity and really having not a lot of life experience or they're you know, they just like to see other people's drama.
Speaker 2:You know they like to get involved and live vicariously, maybe through those other people, when they probably have their own drama too. But I think a lot of it has to do with, you know, their poor personal boundaries.
Speaker 2:Like they haven't identified what their boundaries are. They don't want everybody talking their business out there, right, but they're happy to talk about other people's business. So personal boundaries I think those form, believe it or not, in, I think, in childhood in kind of the circumstances that you're raised in and there could be. You could have had overbearing parents, you could have had some trauma or something in your childhood. That definitely distorts how you set up your personal boundaries or not, I mean. But that seems to be like the just the research and things that we did, the direction that you see, a lot of those things go when people don't have boundaries or they are very fuzzy, they move them when it's convenient, you know, whatever. So if you're a person who is being gossiped about or if someone's not minding their own business where you're concerned, you've invited something in, probably right, like you were mentioning, if you put it on social media you put something in.
Speaker 2:You're probably inviting something in, just like when we had done the episode on here's a good example we did the episode on religion versus spirituality. Oh, we got opinions on a lot of stuff, not to say that we were saying we believe in one thing or another, but you definitely could tell that people were looking for something to argue about.
Speaker 1:Well, and I think there's judgment that comes into play with people's opinions in regard to because you know there's a lot of. I think that there are people out there that think that the way they think or the way they believe is the way it should be and that's not that maybe in their own mind, that is the case and that's great. You and I have, you know, we always talk about how. I'm a live and let live person. Definitely, those people who are trying to change opinions and change people's minds are not live and let live people.
Speaker 1:They think it should be one way or the other, kind of their way, or the highway or the highway?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's definitely the case. Hey, just kind of thinking about the live and let live. Have you always been that way? I mean you have since I've known you.
Speaker 1:But I think to a certain degree I have been that way Even when I was quote unquote practicing Mormon and going to church and doing those things. I didn't really get too caught up in all the stuff trying to make other people feel like that's the way it should be Right, you know.
Speaker 1:So I just had my own shit going on in life that I was trying to figure out, you know, and just like trying to do my own thing, let alone trying to figure out what other people are doing and make them think that the way they're living their life isn't right, right.
Speaker 2:So I think I was more, I was not as live and let live very intense about a lot of things early on. I would say in my life I've definitely changed how I approach things in the last several years, just kind of like what am I getting so worked up about?
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And trying to just let a lot of that go.
Speaker 1:And I don't know if that's necessarily a good thing, what I was just talking about, because I think I mean live and let live, yes, but I think too, when you are trying not to rock the boat all the time and trying to keep peace all the time and keep everybody happy on all the fronts on the family fronts, on the, you know, relationship fronts, on the friendship fronts, on the church front, just like all the fronts that there are and you're trying to keep things at an even keel, you tend to probably lose a lot within yourself.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yeah, as you're trying to do that. It's like, yeah, so having strong opinions about something is not a bad thing. I mean I don't, I don't well, or or inserting into things, like you said, family issues and things.
Speaker 2:Sometimes there needs to be a mediator, like in a family circumstance, and there's so much, so much undercurrent of things that have taken place in the past and you know bad feelings about this and you know favorites over this and families Families can be. I mean, I would say the bulk of them are very dysfunctional because a lot of it is really dependent on how screwed up the parents were.
Speaker 1:Hell, yes, and that's just talking to our generations, you know.
Speaker 2:God only knows what happened before that or they even had any guidance. So yeah, I definitely feel like.
Speaker 1:Do you think it's important to work all that out?
Speaker 2:Not always. I think there's going to be some things that are just going to be what they're going to be, and I've actually learned this from Mary, because she she's very much a kind of a lesson release person and she gets fired up about certain things, but there's some things she's come to understand within her family that are not her role to fix, nor is she going to try to take the energy to fix them, and it's given her a lot of peace and I think that's the only way really to do some of those things Absolutely.
Speaker 2:You know, I haven't really had those kinds of things in my family per se but, you know, there's just some things like with my mom, I just don't go there because what's the point Right? You know, it's like she's she's got many years on me and she's she's been formulating opinions for many, many years and that's not going to change. And so I just kind of try to respect that we have different opinions and don't discuss it a lot of the time, because we'll probably get an argument.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, I mean, I've seen you work really hard on that though, jules. Yeah, it's not easy. It's not an easy thing.
Speaker 2:No, it's not but it's, but it's something that for my own personal well-being- I just said I'm not going to. I'm not going to get involved in that, or I don't want to talk about that person or whatever the case may be. I just think we just need to let some things go.
Speaker 1:Do you think sometimes people meddle to try to maybe gain connection with?
Speaker 2:other people. Yeah, I mean having a common. I would say maybe a common bond like maybe they bond over something that-.
Speaker 1:Over drama, over drama, yeah.
Speaker 2:Drama bond. Yeah, like I got you, you're back, or whatever. It's like yeah there's, there's definitely, or they, you know they need support, or or whatever. But I absolutely think that sometimes meddling can have that face to it.
Speaker 1:I can remember when I was getting ready to make the decision to get divorced and there were a lot of dynamics happening in the household and I would share probably overshare a lot of information with people, friends, whatever and I remember the moment I was just I was talking about more stuff that was happening and I thought why do I keep talking about this?
Speaker 2:Cause you weren't ready to make a decision.
Speaker 1:I need to. I need that. That was when I made the decision. You know is like I had to stop talking about this shit, nothing, yeah. And I need to make a decision here because I was tired of hearing my own self talk about this.
Speaker 2:So you can only imagine, Right, Everybody else. Yeah, I was very similar. I think it was very, very similar. I mean, you could call that you can. It's not really gossip because you're talking about yourself, but you know you're, you're talking yourself through a decision that's. I remember a very wise person saying to me listen, you just need to make a decision.
Speaker 2:You're either going to stay the way it is and accept the fact that you're going to be doing a lot of things on your own, or you're not, and I'm like, well, that was kind of mean, but it was true. But it was true, that's what I needed to hear at the time Shut me down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the thing too is, if you're gonna, if you're gonna, share business like that, you better be ready for some of the input that you get back, whether you like it or not. Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, and you know depends on who you're talking to. They may be real advocates for certain things. They may not like the person that you're with. And so they're trying to be, you know, maybe persuade you to go one direction or another, and you don't need that. You need to be able to make decisions on your own, is there?
Speaker 1:somebody in your family that you know. Like I joke about this with my siblings because I know if there's information that I want spread in the family, I'll have to do is tell my mom Really, oh yeah, well, she's like, she's like the beacon. She keeps up on everybody and what's going on and who's doing what, and you know when you call her you're going to get the rundown on everybody. So I'm like, well, that way I just have to tell her and she, like I don't.
Speaker 2:My family is a lot smaller than yours.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:But I. But I mean, like when I'm with my mom I have to give her the rundown. And it may have seen her two or three days before, but I give it to her again and it's not about me necessarily is the kids. You know what's going on with the kids and you know nothing's changed for the last three days, kind of a thing About business like.
Speaker 1:If I went out to dinner and saw somebody that I knew their husband having dinner with somebody else that was a female but not the wife. And you know these people but you don't know the woman that this. You know the guy because it's your friend's husband, but you don't know who the woman is. I'd probably go up to the table and say, hey, nice to see you, so if you can see.
Speaker 2:Oh hell, yeah, I would you kidding. Yeah, I would, because it's like, and that that's where that fierceness comes in my mind.
Speaker 1:I guess too, because it could be business. You don't know. That's what I mean. It's like you could. There's so many assumptions, but I think too, guys and gals just like out there, you should avoid those appearances of Impropriety. Yeah, you should avoid that. I truly think that that's not okay. Like if you're out to lunch or dinner, I mean it could, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Like I've gone to, that's a hard one, I've when I was working, when I was married and just I had lunch, dinner, whatever with with men all the time.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:There was. It was guys I worked with you're always talking about were kind of a thing. It wasn't no big deal. Yeah, and if he and, honestly, if he would have gotten jealous about that, I would have been like okay, why?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I just I never really thought of it that way at all. I never and I wouldn't have cared Right you know, if he was, because it's like people he works with.
Speaker 1:I don't know.
Speaker 2:Mm, hmm. So there's just, there's just period places where you just kind of, if you raise an eyebrow, you're raising an eyebrow is more of a personal eyebrow.
Speaker 1:Like, but like at Nordstrom, I mean, I get that.
Speaker 2:You're having.
Speaker 1:You're having lunch in the bistro or down at the grill or somewhere at Pacific place, and you're. You're doing all those things, sure, and it's during, but you know, if you're at seven o'clock and you're having dinner with another guy somewhere, not in those kinds of places, and you're you know what I'm saying, like Gazing at each other over the candlelight.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, you know there's like, but but yeah, to your point, I suppose going up to the table so that you could get clarity. Oh, I wouldn't come up and say, oh, who are you? No, but you would say, hey, jimmy, it's nice to see you. How are you doing, like you know?
Speaker 2:Oh, it's like we're out tonight too. It's like, oh, hi, so and so it's, and that's what it is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, do you say anything To her, to the wife?
Speaker 2:Um, I think it would depend on the circumstances.
Speaker 1:Oh, I read into Jimmy the other night. Yeah, he was having dinner with Cindy, his co. Whatever he said, blah, blah blah.
Speaker 2:It was really good to see him.
Speaker 1:I mean you could keep it totally cash and not be like or I saw Jimmy the other night and he blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Well, again, it's like if Jimmy's Jimmy's stepping out on his wife, and it's pretty evident then that might be. You know, see, this is where a lot of people are kind of like should I get involved? That's what I mean.
Speaker 1:This is, this is a big, great area, because this is your friend, this is a person that you care about that.
Speaker 2:I'd be like dude, you need to knock that shit off. I guess when I started that scenario I just said it's somebody that you know.
Speaker 1:I didn't really say it was a friend, so, but yeah, to your point if it's a friend and you know some of the things or whatever.
Speaker 2:Well yeah, I mean that's a tough place to be in. Yeah, it's a really tough place to be in.
Speaker 1:Because, it's.
Speaker 2:I mean, I've been in that circumstance before and where people are just like. Well, I'm just you know I have. I don't, honestly I don't have a ton of respect for women that do not watch after other women. Oh, I had to think about what you just said.
Speaker 2:for a second I was like wait, what I don't have a lot of respect for women that are you know they're stepping out with married women, married men or they are. You know they're keeping their mouth shut when they know, something really bad is happening right you know, to someone they care about. You know, I just I don't know. Is it your responsibility? I don't know. And do I want to get involved in drama? No, not really. But I also don't want to see this person treated poorly.
Speaker 2:That's a tough one. Yeah, I think that it's a kind of in my opinion kind of a girl code thing, do you think?
Speaker 1:there's a guy code.
Speaker 2:Yes, because guys. It's funny because I think again, this is just from my perspective but with men being unfaithful or cheating or whatever you want to call it it's some people really expect that kind of thing where the other way around, they don't expect it from women and so men take it very they don't expect it from women, but Women may be hoeing around out there. Oh yeah, I mean Well, yeah they do and it's like but are they hoeing around? If the guy did it, is he hoeing around? Do you see what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just use that term because but I'm just saying I think, as women, a lot of times we generalize and say it's always the guy that's cheating, when really I think women based on some of the numbers we've seen and some of the episodes that we've done women are cheating. Yes, they are. They are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and that's a whole nother topic because they yeah, how did we get started?
Speaker 1:Yeah, how did we get started? I don't know how we got on.
Speaker 2:Well, just talking about, what would you do? Yeah, you know, if you saw your, do you know that?
Speaker 1:was a TV show.
Speaker 2:What would you do? Yeah, oh, tell me about that one. What would you do? Do?
Speaker 1:you remember that TV show? Yeah, well, they filmed something, john I can't remember the guy's name, but they would film all these scenarios of certain situations to see what people would do. Like in a restaurant they would have actors and a guy would be with his girlfriend and maybe she was a little overweight or something, and they're eating and she orders whatever, maybe a lot, I don't know and he's like why are you getting that much food? Do you really think that you? And maybe starts really being kind of Rude Rude to her about what she's ordering and maybe making reference to her weight in regard to it and the people at the table next door here.
Speaker 1:And then the person that's the actor she'll be upset and just like you know what I got to go to the bathroom. She'll get up and excuse herself and then, while she's away from the table, the guy continues to go on Like he might say something to people sitting around him, like can you believe that? Like look at how heavy she is, and why would she order blah, blah, blah, whatever? And starts really derogatorily talking about his girlfriend while she's away from the table. And it was very interesting, there's so many different scenarios.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so many different ways people respond.
Speaker 1:But to see if people would be like you know, like you're a jerk. I'd be like you're kind of a jerk.
Speaker 2:Like, why are you saying that about?
Speaker 1:Yeah, like, maybe you can evaluate yourself, you know and then, as the situation would escalate, then the people would come out and say you know, I'm John, whatever his name was with you know what?
Speaker 2:would you do? And I remember seeing that and they had like ones where people like drop money on the Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:And then what do you do with the money?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Mm-hmm, and you know yeah, or you know someone's talking poorly to their person, like you mentioned.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm Kids different situation with kids and their parents. It's like so many different scenarios so.
Speaker 2:I do feel like. I mean, I like I said we have enough, we have enough shit going on in our own lives, but there's just sometimes when you feel like you need to say something.
Speaker 1:Well, and I think too, like I mean, I know, yep, that's a TV show, but honestly, if I came across something like that or was certain in a situation like that, if somebody is speaking out and being Really obnoxious about this and making it everyone's business, because that's kind of how the show was, yeah, there's plenty of people out there, yeah.
Speaker 1:Plenty of people out there like that. But if people are making it your business, I think it's our business as a bystander to say something you know, especially, like I said, when they're making it everybody around them.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, obvious, and if some have you ever experienced anything like that? Not the TV show, but in real life.
Speaker 2:I mean, I've seen where you know, I've seen like people sitting at tables before where they don't look very happy. I suppose, but no, I haven't really run across someone treating demeaning someone that way that I can think about the top of my head and you know that could very well be in that, like the scenario that you mentioned, you know, the girl is obviously probably beaten down all the time, because he's saying this in a public place.
Speaker 1:Can you imagine what he does at home?
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you know it says more about him than it does about her.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, which I just love putting people like that in their place. Me too, yeah, I used to always be like I had to. It was the principle. It was the principle of something that it had to be done, like I can't remember specifically what it would be, but like I would be angry about the person not being held accountable for something. And so it would be. I would say it's the principle of it, and it's like I came to learn. It's like sometimes you just gotta let that shit go, yeah, and it says you're spending more time and energy on something that's really not bringing you any value Right and is taking up brain space that can be used
Speaker 2:for other things and that's, I think that's that we're in my just kind of talking about it, where the maturity in my mind kind of comes in, because as you evolve you really don't have the time or the energy you know for something like that. Or you like say you see, like say we were out this weekend, you know, and we there's people that were there that we ran across and this didn't happen. We're just using this as a scenario and some woman walks in and they say, oh my God, what a cow. Or oh my God, look at her, she looks like a hoe. Look at those shoes. I'd be looking at them going. Why are you so rude?
Speaker 2:You know I wouldn't, I mean, I would not engage in a conversation because I think it's. I just think it's. Why would you be demeaning that person like that in you know here? You know women they do shit like that.
Speaker 1:Well, women, those aren't the ones you want to be around, I know, but you can kind of tell when women are, I feel like I can't, anyways, when yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah it just. It makes them feel better to.
Speaker 1:Like putting other women down to make themselves feel better. Ladies like one team here. Just we should be lifting each other up, not putting each other down, and we don't walk in anybody else's shoes Like why? Why say shit that you?
Speaker 2:don't even know. I think a good way to respond to something like that, just a kind of a quick and easy response as well.
Speaker 2:Teach his own you know, it's like it's like I'm not, I'm not drone shade on that person at all, I'm just like teach his own. I don't have an opinion, kind of leave it at that. There's actually this one technique that I had run across when we were looking through this stuff and it's called it's like the gray rock syndrome. So if you're dealing with people like that are being gossipy, you're trying to get you to involve and gossip, you know they're saying wow, doesn't she look like crap?
Speaker 2:Look at her eye makeup or whatever he's like. No, I think she looks great. Or I hadn't noticed, or just one word, little simple answer, so you're not feeding into the conversation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we were talking about that. Yeah, so you're not getting all caught up.
Speaker 2:Right, you don't get caught up in it, because when you engage and you offer more, that just fuels the fire and it turns into something that it does not need to be, and I think that is what you were saying is a way to minding your own business and keeping things at a minimum Right so not feeding into or engaging in some of that conversation and I think a lot of the whole thing with when people are not minding their business, they're not really accepting the people that are around them for who they are, for what they are, for how they live. And again, you said something earlier about everybody has opinions and some people are not really open to other things that are outside of their own opinion range.
Speaker 2:So that's where I think you probably run into a lot of that, because they have to kind of provide an opinion on things, or maybe they're just nasty people.
Speaker 1:They're just sour people trying to find something wrong with everything. Can you be open to people that have opinions about President Trump?
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:I won't date them, though I had to ask.
Speaker 2:I mean probably I shouldn't say that. Yes, I should say that I, just because it's just, we don't think alike, it's like our, but that doesn't mean that, you know, people can't be nice.
Speaker 1:I mean, I know so many people that are yeah, I know, I know President. I just have to give you shit, president.
Speaker 2:Chido is our kind of joke, but oh my God.
Speaker 1:Except other people as they are.
Speaker 2:Come on, Jules I can't accept to be as too much control over things. It blows my mind. It gets away with everything too. But yeah, accepting people for how they are Also kind of accepting, you know, responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings. Why do you feel the need to be inserting yourself in something that doesn't? Require inserting or taking on someone else's problems like you're gonna fix them.
Speaker 1:Well, and I think it's important that we take a look at and try to find a level of understanding sometimes with people and what their situations are and maybe why they live like they do or do what they do or act how they act. I think there's a lot of underlying factors that come into play with that, and it is not-.
Speaker 2:And they probably don't even understand what a lot of that is.
Speaker 1:And it's not our responsibility nor our duty to change somebody and how they are. If we try to and I'm talking about this as somebody close to you, you know, if there's things you know, trying to maybe understand why they act the way they do or have the opinions that they have or live the way that they live, you know we have to be kind and compassionate and and look a little deeper and not just at the surface.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I mean also too, it's like there's people that could be in your life, whether it be in the workplace, whether it be, you know, in your neighborhood or a family member, like maybe a distant family member or something, that they're just negative, you know. It's like they're not seeing the positive aspects and things. I mean I've been, I, I, when I see that happening, I'm usually I'm like the devil's advocate, and there's a couple of people just like that just drives me crazy when you do that, Because it's like stop talking so damn negative.
Speaker 1:I'm just.
Speaker 2:I can't handle how negative you're coming up with anything. I mean, it comes to you where that conversation happens, you know and if it's, if it's nothing that gets better, you just, I just won't be around that person. Yeah, Because I just don't want to. That's just not where I want to invest my energy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you have to be aware of that and set your boundaries.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and we all we have all been in circumstances where we have participated and if someone says that they haven't, they're lying and a lot of that is just kind of learning again, like what you said. Your boundaries and such are and you know what you're comfortable with and what you want to get involved in and you know there's just things that I let people do their, let people live their lives. You know. If they're affecting me in some way, by the way they're gossiping about me or maybe I don't really care. It's like if they're gossiping about me, have you ever heard that? That statement, it's not my business what you think of me. I've heard that before and I'm kind of like I had to think about it for a second because I mean, I don't really give a shit how they think about me. It's like I don't really want people talking ill about me.
Speaker 1:But at the same time.
Speaker 2:I don't have any control over that either, and you know, as we, as we participate in our, in our lives and different aspects of it, whether it be work related or you know you're in the public eye or what have you it's going to happen.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, and that's again social media it's going to happen, you know the things that you're putting on there. There's this one gal that I I follow on Instagram. I have no idea how I even came up with her, but she is about, as I would say, as controversial and out there as a lot of people. But what I love about her is she does not give a shit. Who?
Speaker 1:is it? Her name is Erin Brown, because I have followed her for probably over five years, really.
Speaker 2:But I'm just like dang girl she was on some, she was on some. I don't know this woman or anything.
Speaker 1:I know she does not give a fuck.
Speaker 2:No, and it's kind of really. I mean, she's definitely into a lot of things that I'm not into and she lives her life probably how I wouldn't but it's like I just am kind of like good for her.
Speaker 1:And it's not yeah, not in a bad way. She just I think she brings a lot of awareness to things a lot of different things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think makes people feel a little uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:Oh, for sure, yeah, but that's what I like about her.
Speaker 2:I think she's she's, so she loves her body. She is. She's not a she's not a model-y small girl, by any means. She's a pretty girl. She's got, you know, like straight hair, blonde hair, and so she's and she's. I think she's very pretty. You know, maybe other people don't, I don't really know, but it's like she doesn't care. I just think it's kind of cool.
Speaker 1:She does her thing. She's had a lot, she. When I first started following her, she was married. Oh, okay, she was married, she has a daughter. And then I watched her, yeah, go through all this, all these life circumstances, and you know, she's has come out as a lesbian and she's now with her partner and she's great. Yeah, I mean, she really is.
Speaker 2:But very much that I mean like extreme for liberal you know point of view. I mean, it's more than me buying, but I just love the fact that she is herself and she just doesn't give 100% authentic. Yeah, shout out to you, erin.
Speaker 1:Brown.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I I enjoy seeing her her posts you know, I've never commented or anything.
Speaker 1:She was here in Seattle. That's how I came across her is somebody mutual that I used to work with at Nordstrom followed her, Okay. And then, and Erin Brown was here in Seattle doing a some kind of women's conference kind of a thing and she had put a book out and so she was here and I was like, huh, this is interesting, who's this? But yeah, that was probably five, six years ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah, isn't that crazy? Yeah, I must have. Yeah, then I obviously found her for you but you ran across a lot of those people on on Instagram and you know they have lots of different things going on and some of them are very peaceful and very, very politically correct.
Speaker 1:Or just you know. There's nothing controversial about it. What is politically correctness? What is being?
Speaker 2:politically correct. Well, it's like just like the language that you use when you're, when you're talking about different things, you know. So not showing any kind of opinion one way or the other, it's being it's being respectful to the different folks that are out there or the different topics that are out there. And nobody's going to get it all 100% right by any means it changes quite often. But the fact that you, the fact that you try to be respectful of other people's beliefs and things, and everything is that's the step in the right direction.
Speaker 2:That's my opinion and a lot of the things we, when we were at Nordstrom, everything was very politically correct. The language you use, you're not having a. You're not getting written. You're not going to. What do you call it getting written up? You're not getting written up. You're having a strength and an opportunity.
Speaker 1:An opportunity, opportunity check.
Speaker 2:I had one of those. I think I only had one, and it's because I was defiant about a decision that I made that was not in agreement with the powers that be.
Speaker 1:And I wouldn't change my decision.
Speaker 2:I was so stubborn, stuck with it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and they were they.
Speaker 2:In hindsight it's like I understand why I did it, but they were probably right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know they probably were. I was just adamant, A little stubborn there, Julie.
Speaker 2:I have my stubborn moments, you know and I, when I, when I feel strongly about something I will. I will go to the ends of the earth to make it happen or to trust me people, she is telling the truth.
Speaker 1:Amen, sister.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's the, that's the whole blessing release thing that.
Speaker 1:I've learned, you know, and also why do you have to?
Speaker 2:you know why does it have to be the principle of things?
Speaker 2:You know, and I'm just because it makes me feel better, I don't know, but anyway I've kind of. There's some things that I think still, you know you have to you. I don't even have any examples to give you because I don't remember any off the top of my head. Well, there, oh here, let me give you one. This is a work, one we had, and I'll keep it brief because it's kind of elongated. But we had worked with this gentleman. Well, I didn't Mary did with a gentleman he's a builder and I represented the seller who had this acreage in Mill Creek.
Speaker 2:Mary represented the buyer. Well, in order to make the whole deal were cost per square foot, all that kind of stuff, because he was going to build these houses there. Mary dropped her commission to zero on that side because he was supposed to give her the. She was supposed to be selling the homes that he was going to be building, right, okay, so that had nothing to do with me. Then we're getting ready for this land to be prepared and all that kind of stuff, and he just basically tells her sorry, I'm going to have my daughter do it. What? Yeah, it was a huge commission too, wow, but you know, and Mary's just like I mean, she was beyond herself, as as she should be, you know. But it kind of came down to it and we were like this guy is a tool.
Speaker 1:He's unethical.
Speaker 2:I don't have any respect for him. He's been in the business a long time. I would never buy one of his houses, even though they're probably pretty good houses. But that's beside the point, dick. Yeah, he said oh, and he did not like me because I told him you know, I'm like I'm not doing, I don't, I don't represent you Right, I represent these people.
Speaker 1:I'm not doing this for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but she finally just said you know what this is creating so much stress for me, so much drama for me. I know that I just have to let it go. We talked to an attorney and stuff I just I'm going to have to let it go, and it was hard, so hard, for me to let it go because I was pissed off that he took advantage of her. Frankly, he took advantage of us and her good nature. And he got away with it and I was like it's the principle.
Speaker 1:I wanted to go after it.
Speaker 2:Probably spent more money than trying to rectify it, trying to have him held accountable, but anyway, that's, that's a big example from work that had happened and you know we learned a ton from that, from that situation, and also you know we thought he was a genuinely good guy. And clearly he's not. Yeah, he doesn't. He's too bad yeah, and we I mean you deal with that kind of stuff all the time it doesn't matter what kind of work you're in, probably. But anyway, that was an example.
Speaker 1:I don't know Well and I think it's it's just part of you know what we were saying, how to mind, how to mind your own business and, and to your point, some of the stress and anxiety that things can bring into your emotional soul, I know is so heavy at times and I've had to learn that in in my family. I had to learn that when I was married, as I was going through my divorce, things that you know as my children have become, you know they're all young men now, if they, if they as they have become adults, it's. There's a whole other layer and level that you have to realize of setting boundaries for your own piece. You have to trust what you've done. Let them work their own things out and you know how much you are involved in their lives. Is is kind of a thing. So the whole family dynamic is a whole that's.
Speaker 2:That's another thing. Yeah, that I mean we and that's. We can talk about that another time.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like that is the one area that you know you can't really avoid right, unless you just can't stand them and you live in another state right and avoid them that way. But yeah, family dynamics can be pretty tough and there's a lot of talk back, you know, back and forth without one sibling involved and that that kind of stuff happens all the time. I mean I'll talk to two of them and say, hey, can you tell so and so, because if it comes from me it might be different.
Speaker 1:It comes from them. It'll be different, but I mean I do that but it's like usually there's a good intent.
Speaker 2:You know with with what I'm trying to accomplish.
Speaker 1:But anyway, we have to know how to maneuver. That's our job.
Speaker 2:Yeah, did you maneuver?
Speaker 1:Manoeuvre.
Speaker 2:So, I think asking asking yourself, you know when we're talking about a gossiping or getting in other people's business, really evaluating, you know the question would be how does this affect me? You know, does it affect me?
Speaker 1:Or do I?
Speaker 2:just want to see this person's squirm because, I'm, you know, sharing something. I mean I think I think that would be kind of not very nice but, I'm sure it happens. So does it affect me? No, I mean, if it doesn't affect you personally, yeah, but I mean that could be a wide range because it may affect you personally, because you care about a person who's you know doing something that you hope that they are not going to keep doing you know, maybe, maybe it's drugs, maybe it's promiscuity, it could be anything you know and you are.
Speaker 2:You care about that person. So yeah, a lot of it has to do with you know where you feel like. If you insert yourself, are you going to be saying you're just a nosy Nelly and mind your own damn?
Speaker 1:business. Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty thankful. I don't feel like I have too much of that. I really don't feel like I have that in my life and I think if you are saying the same thing to yourself as you are hearing this, it's probably because you know how to manage your business. You know how to manage what you have going on and how you handle those different scenarios in your life and what you allow or don't allow.
Speaker 2:Right, you might not be around people, or you've chosen, now you know, to be around people who really don't communicate that way.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So that's very true, very, very true.
Speaker 1:Well, this has been a good conversation. This has been a very good conversation. There's so many dynamics to it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a lot of facets, yeah, and really kind of has me sitting back and going okay, it's like where do I insert myself? I mean, I again, I will if I feel like you know, something is I'm not a Karen kind of insert not that kind of an insert. But if I feel like my friend is being treated poorly or as being cheated, I would totally do something about it.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't just let it Right, because I just think that's not being a good friend.
Speaker 2:It's just how you go about doing things and when you know yeah that's my two cents.
Speaker 1:Well, there was a lot of information. Actually, we talked about a lot of different things here. So if, when you're listening, you need to come back to this, make sure to download. When you are listening, just download the episode. That way you can go back anytime and make reference and when you're done listening to it, just go ahead and delete. Yeah, download and then delete, yeah, download and delete.
Speaker 2:That's what we do.
Speaker 1:You'll find us on all the socials too Instagram, tiktok and Facebook. We kind of do some crazy little videos every once in a while, and if you're ever wondering what the episode is coming up, you'll be able to find it there, and sometimes we even ask questions because we want to use some of the feedback that we get for episodes. So thank you so much for listening.
Speaker 2:We appreciate it and we hope you all have a wonderful rest of your day or evening, whatever time day or evening it is, and we will talk to you next week. Have fun getting ready for the holidays everybody. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:We're not listening. Have a good one, you guys. Bye.