Have you ever walked into a room and felt as if you've faded into the wallpaper, your presence barely registering a blip on anyone's radar? On today's episode of "Blonde Brunette and a Mic," we're peeling back the layers of this midlife cloak of invisibility. From the physical rollercoaster of menopause to the emotional upheaval when kids fly the coop, we're sharing our personal stories and tackling why women around 52 often feel unseen. We'll also discuss how a shift in your stride and a dash of confidence can turn heads and shatter this intangible barrier.
As we age, our roles evolve, but do we give ourselves permission to do the same? Today's conversation winds through the intricate dance of nurturing others and the importance of stepping back to nurture ourselves. We confess to the guilt that shadows self-care and examine how our past self-investments can fortify our presence in later years. And yes, we get candid about the internal tug-of-war when seeking new purposes. Join us as we traverse the path to rediscovery, celebrating the vitality that comes from embracing change and cultivating new interests, affirming that age is no barrier to a life brimming with relevance.
This episode isn't just about the challenges; it's a rallying cry for embracing every facet of ourselves with gusto. We'll be your cheerleaders, encouraging you to own your space with the way you present yourself—from the sway of your posture to the courage in your gaze. And we don't stop there; we dive into the ways "Blonde Brunette and a Mic" strives to uplift the voices of our generation, urging you to become a part of the chorus that helps us all remain visible, vibrant, and vocal. So, perk up your ears, lean in closer, and revitalize your spirit with us—because together, we're turning up the volume on midlife and beyond.
Have you ever walked into a room and felt as if you've faded into the wallpaper, your presence barely registering a blip on anyone's radar? On today's episode of "Blonde Brunette and a Mic," we're peeling back the layers of this midlife cloak of invisibility. From the physical rollercoaster of menopause to the emotional upheaval when kids fly the coop, we're sharing our personal stories and tackling why women around 52 often feel unseen. We'll also discuss how a shift in your stride and a dash of confidence can turn heads and shatter this intangible barrier.
As we age, our roles evolve, but do we give ourselves permission to do the same? Today's conversation winds through the intricate dance of nurturing others and the importance of stepping back to nurture ourselves. We confess to the guilt that shadows self-care and examine how our past self-investments can fortify our presence in later years. And yes, we get candid about the internal tug-of-war when seeking new purposes. Join us as we traverse the path to rediscovery, celebrating the vitality that comes from embracing change and cultivating new interests, affirming that age is no barrier to a life brimming with relevance.
This episode isn't just about the challenges; it's a rallying cry for embracing every facet of ourselves with gusto. We'll be your cheerleaders, encouraging you to own your space with the way you present yourself—from the sway of your posture to the courage in your gaze. And we don't stop there; we dive into the ways "Blonde Brunette and a Mic" strives to uplift the voices of our generation, urging you to become a part of the chorus that helps us all remain visible, vibrant, and vocal. So, perk up your ears, lean in closer, and revitalize your spirit with us—because together, we're turning up the volume on midlife and beyond.
Hey everybody. This is Michelle and this is Julie. Welcome to a Blonde, a Brunette and a Mike podcast. What is our podcast all about you?
Speaker 2:ask Well, we're a 250-something woman with life experience and old bloody to say, which is exactly what we're going to do right now.
Speaker 1:Where are you, shelly Belly? You must be over 52. What you must be older than 52. Oh, hell yes, I'm proud of it.
Speaker 2:I mean yeah, oh, okay, not really. I don't love the fact that I'm over 52, but it's been a long time now I'm good with it.
Speaker 1:There's a reason I use that number. You know why.
Speaker 2:Because we are wanting to know if people who are of our age or of midlife are feeling invisible.
Speaker 1:Hence Julie where are you? Okay? Yeah, but that's apparently the age that women the research I was doing, of course, was about women, but there was stuff about men too which, for them, is a little bit older but start feeling invisible, which is the topic we're going to dive into today. So why do you think that is?
Speaker 2:That it happens.
Speaker 1:I think there's a lot of reasons which we can definitely unpack here and talk about Women being all the physical changes that we start going through at that age.
Speaker 2:Do you think it has to do with? You know, menopause, obviously right, and your skin changing, your hair changing, your body changing.
Speaker 1:So everything is changing, life is changing.
Speaker 2:All of it, that's an understatement. Yeah, life has changed quite a bit.
Speaker 1:So there's there's all of that that you just talked about. And then for those that have children, they're growing older and starting to move on. That I know. I've been experiencing that, where you feel this bit of invisibility or like your relevance your relevance.
Speaker 2:I feel pretty good with my kids. I mean, I know that they obviously look at me like I'm old, like they were worried about me falling when I was on vacation. Be careful, mom, where you're stepping. I'm just like what? What are you talking about? It's when you worry about me climbing on something you know, but they're looking at me differently obviously.
Speaker 2:And so that was kind of a light bulb moment for me when I when I ran across that because I'm like gosh, they must think I'm just feeble and, you know, not able to handle myself or something. And it's funny how I don't know how you feel, but I definitely feel like I'm not any different than I was when I was 25 years old. I know I am, but in my mind I don't really feel any different.
Speaker 1:It doesn't feel any different. That's why, pretty much since the age of 21, I, you know, like when I turned 50, I was just, you know, 21 with 19 years of experience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Is that?
Speaker 1:did I do that math right? No, you did Okay.
Speaker 2:Michelle, here's our first thing we need you to go back to school.
Speaker 1:So 21 with with 29 years of experience, and so on and so forth, you know. Or just 20, 20 years old with 30 years of experience when I turned 50. Yeah, you feel the same mentally, but you've gone through all of this life experience.
Speaker 2:Well I, when I turned 50, I don't remember feeling that way at all. I was more kind of like wow, I'm 50, but, I didn't, I don't. I mean, it's like we've had those episodes where we're like what is, what is that? I mean you know, 50 didn't bother me.
Speaker 1:It didn't. I ran at eight K for the first time ever in my whole life when I turned 50. That was kind of a goal, and so I suppose, mentally a bit, there was this thing because I felt like that was something that I wanted to show myself that I could do. I think there in comes the relevance that you were talking about keeping keeping myself physically relevant.
Speaker 2:Yes, you know how we present ourselves relevant and yeah, you know, it's funny because I've noticed things with people that are, I should say, people that are older than me, or older people even, honestly, people that are kind of around our age, and the way they carry themselves is what really kind of gives it away. And perhaps that's where that feeling of being invisible comes in, because they're expecting everybody else to look at them the same way that they're looking at themselves. Their confidence level maybe isn't where it had been 10 or 20 years ago.
Speaker 2:Or, you know, maybe there were people who were never confident to begin with. There's always that option, possibility, I guess too. So how they're dressing, what their hair looks like, how they're care. I really go back to the whole thing about caring yourself, because if you carry yourself with confidence, you walk into a room with confidence, you make eye contact with people. I guess I just really haven't run across that in the same way.
Speaker 1:It does have to do with how you show up to the world, yes, how you show up, and I think definitely there's a bit of a reinvention to a certain degree. I'm not saying you change your whole overall who you are, but physically those things that we're able to change, you know, because you start going through all these changes, like we were talking about physically, and then, if you are wanting to move through that with some bit of relevance, depending on how you feel about it, there are those things that you can do to help with that, to help how you feel when you are showing up, to help how you feel, I guess, to my own point, how I am with my kids. You know, if I'm feeling a little bit invisible, like I just five minutes ago said that I was, why is that? I guess I need to ask my own self that why is that and how am I showing up for them and what is it that's making me? I think it's more a me thing. It's not them, they're not intentionally making me.
Speaker 2:Is there like an example, that cause I'm trying to understand, like when you say they're getting busy.
Speaker 1:I mean, my kids are, they're grown, two of them have their own families and then one of them lives away from home and then my youngest is still at home, he's a full-time student, he works. There's things that they have their own lives and they're just. They have moved on and they're doing their own thing and I still and I recognize that in a lot of ways I'm still trying to in a sense, be their mother in a mother ring way. There's a difference there.
Speaker 2:I'll always be their mom. I'm their mom and their mother, but I know what you're saying because it's more enabling what you're talking about.
Speaker 1:Maybe maybe, and taking. I still try to take care of them emotionally it's not all the physical things like it was when they were younger.
Speaker 2:So I guess the difference would be is if they're seeking you out for that. Because, if you kind of well going back to our kids, I feel like we're always going to be a very strong pillar to them, you know, in one capacity or another. And there are things that they are going to lean on us for always, that they may not lean on someone else for, just because we know them at their core, we accept them at their core you know, that sort of thing.
Speaker 2:But when they start feeling like we're not going to get it because we're older, we wouldn't understand, and that's where that would start to sting a little bit. I think, that would definitely start to sting. And I've done that, I mean in my mind, I've done that with my own mom or my relatives or whatever they're older.
Speaker 2:It's like there's certain things that I kind of will tailor the topics. I wouldn't talk to my mom, for example, about things the same way that I talk to you about them, right? God forbid, I'd probably give her a heart attack, yeah, but I think that the whole idea of relevance, like in the workplace as an example for women or socially. You know what kind of things we're doing. Socially, if you're married or unmarried.
Speaker 2:If you are whatever you know wherever you kind of sit in that space in your life, if you don't start to present yourself in a way to where you want to be received then, perhaps this is what ends up happening.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:But I do think that there have been. I'm trying to think of there's one time, and this is going to be. This is so random and the fact that I remember it leads you to believe that this truly is something that can happen. Right, we were at. I was with you, actually, and maybe Eileen. We were at a little place down in Edmonds. It was in the summertime and a place was really full and I needed, I wanted to get I don't know is a glass of water or something, I just want something to drink. And there's a bunch of people up at the bar. And so I'm up at the bar and I'm patiently waiting my turn. But this girl behind the bar was going to all of these other people and I kind of got pissed. Were they younger?
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm sure they were. I wasn't really looking at them. A lot of them were guys, okay, and she, you know, was a cute girl, was probably getting tips from them or whatever, but she would go. She did go over me a couple of times and I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? You know, I was kind of pissed. So did you finally say something? Yeah, I said something and I was like, excuse me, I've been, I was polite, kurt, polite Kurt, excuse me, I've been waiting. And she did the little bit of an eye roll kind of a thing I know and took care of whatever it was that I needed and that was the end of it. But I remember just going, wow, is that me?
Speaker 1:Or is it?
Speaker 2:her. Or is it the environment? I don't know. I don't know what it was, but it didn't feel good, you know I didn't feel really good walking away from that.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:I'm just like the next guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like the next guy buying whatever I'm buying, you know, but I imagine that probably happens a lot.
Speaker 1:Well, and I think it's interesting because, as you're sitting there saying that, I have this more overarching humanity and mankind perspective thinking. That's just not how you treat people in general, yeah, you know. So just thinking about that and how that feels for anybody at any age. So taking that and then fast forward to going into your 50s and so many things like I was saying are changing, and so to be feeling irrelevant or invisible because I guess that's really a term Invisible woman syndrome is an actual term. That is out there. Here's my take on some of that.
Speaker 2:I think, when we are, we're talking about women that come from all different backgrounds, all different walks of life, have had different responsibilities, whether they be children, whether it be a marriage, whether it be work or career responsibilities. In that way, depending upon how your life has been, you may have been focusing all of your energy, all of your attention, elsewhere, and now and this is really with a lot of women who stay home with their kids I think this is what happens, because they don't develop a lot of outside interests, or if they do develop outside interests, they're with their husbands, or maybe have a couple of close friends that also have husbands, that sort of thing. So they get into this situation where they now don't have the same level of responsibility that they had 15, 20 years ago.
Speaker 2:It's kind of like now, what do I do Exactly? They feel lost because a lot of their purpose, a lot of their attention and their passion and everything has gone into these little humans or has gone into.
Speaker 1:That's why it's so important to make and take time for yourself during those years. But who does really, I know. But we know that now, and we're here telling those that are younger and are listening, we're telling you, I tell it to my daughters-in-laws, who are moms with small children it's so important to take time for self-care. Go out with a friend, do things, buy those shoes. You don't see that.
Speaker 2:So when you were younger, did you feel guilty about doing things like that and taking away from time with your family or taking away from Yep? I did too. I did it anyway, yep. Well, I worked full-time. There was always this joke that my ex-husband had was that we had a mortgage and we had a Nordstrom payment, because I worked at Nordstrom and I'm just like well, dude, seriously, I've got a big job, I've got to wear nice clothes, Got to buy those shoes and I got a discount and I got a discount.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it's like I needed to dress what I needed to do for the particular jobs and things that I had, so I didn't really have a problem with that but it was really more taking time away from myself.
Speaker 2:I would take time for, like, I had a little hobby that I would go like for a weekend with some girls here and there and do my little scrapbooking stuff, or I had little events with girls. So I feel like I did take that time, even though my kids were growing up and we were in the house and I was working full-time. I mean, there was so much going on.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So maybe that is why I don't feel the same way because I definitely think it happens. I definitely feel like we're in situations where we're going to be around people who have a real fuzzy understanding of the path in life. You know they're 20 years old and they say, oh my God, those people are so old. Look at them.
Speaker 2:You know, whatever there's going to be people like that out there all the time. But how we carry ourselves and the kind of freedoms that we've allowed ourselves throughout the years, I think goes directly to the mindset that we have when we get older and we're in the position where we have to decide gosh, do I want to be relevant or am I cool with just flying under the radar?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know what? Frankly, it's like there's something to be said for flying under the radar too?
Speaker 1:Absolutely there is. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I feel like those things directly affect things that have happened in our past, how we've invested our time and our energy. Sure, the mantra has always been to take care of other people as women, and so we do.
Speaker 1:We take care of other people.
Speaker 2:They grew up and are gone and now we're kind of like, okay, what do we do next? And we're kind of lost. So we lose ourselves.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And when we lose ourselves, then we have to almost like you were saying before reinvent who we are, and all of these things are going on internally. Yeah, you know, it's not like when we've got friends that are all around the same age. I'm sure this conversation has been one that they've had with themselves many, many times over.
Speaker 2:You know when they're seeing the similar things that we're seeing, when they are in a position where they're treated differently or where someone isn't giving them maybe the respect that they feel that they deserve, because someone thinks that they're old and when I see things like that it really is makes me sad.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Because I mean we could go into the whole thing about old people and you know I make jokes about it.
Speaker 1:Well, and there's a thing with elderly people too, the same kind of thing, how they feel invisible, and I think it transitions and gets to be even more so the older that you get, depending on, to your point, what you have done along the way and who you are, who you grow yourself to be and what your interests are to keep yourself doing activities which keeps you really in a younger mindset at least as you go along.
Speaker 2:Well, I think there's things, too, that, even as you've started to get into your older years, like we're, I mean, let's face it, our lives are over half over.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I'm not saying that to be morbid or anything.
Speaker 1:It's more. That's the real thing.
Speaker 2:I was saying a couple weeks ago about how I was just thinking about how many Christmases I have left if I'm lucky. Yeah, and it's like, you know, not that many. Really, when you think about how many we've had, it's really not that many. So it's the same thing. It's like what we do with our time right now is going to make a big difference on how we see ourselves going into our golden years, so to speak.
Speaker 1:I mean the cool part. I was just thinking about myself. I was home with my kids. I did all that. I poured my time and energy, did all that and I was. Then I was a working mom, then I was a single working mom, did all those things you give, give, give, give, give. And then now I have the freedom and the time to do things for myself, hence that reinventing of things and feeling okay about going places and feeling okay about getting my hair done and not feeling guilty for what I spent on it and going to get a massage and things you didn't do. All the things that you felt guilty for doing or didn't do before that have to do with how you are feeling and showing up to the world to be seen.
Speaker 2:Do you feel like there is a direct correlation to our physical presence? Then, yes, yeah. So what are things that women who are feeling like they are invisible, what are some of those things that they can do to try to improve their position, improve their mindset?
Speaker 1:I think self reflection, almost having to retrain your brain in some instances depending on what habits have been, I think that healing any kind of emotional stuff that go along with that invisibility that you might be feeling.
Speaker 2:Do you feel, like at the age of like 55, 65, that you're too old to heal that stuff?
Speaker 1:You never stop. You're never too old. Okay, you're never too old.
Speaker 2:I wonder if people think they are.
Speaker 1:Maybe that could be, but you're never too old to heal that emotional stuff that you have. Yeah.
Speaker 2:The baggage, if you will.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and there's all different kinds there's, you know, full size there's, carry on there's overnight bag yeah, there's grocery bag, all different kinds baggage but I think to focus on really seeking out and healing some of that is helpful and to really make a conscious effort to stop hiding. I think also, if you're feeling hidden or invisible, use it. You know that term. It's probably partly because you are yourself hiding. You've allowed it to happen, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, I say that, but I also think that it happens when people don't even realize that you know. They turn around and they're like oh my gosh, I'm now 65 years old and I feel like I'm being treated completely different. So I believe probably the self reflection is the hardest but most critical component to that, because we have a tendency to not really sit back and evaluate ourselves in that way.
Speaker 2:And unless we have somebody helping us, you know through therapy or whatever, but you could sit back and just go okay, let me just take an inventory of my life and what I have done, what's been good, what's been bad, why I'm feeling the way that I'm feeling right now and what I can do differently to connect.
Speaker 1:Connect with yourself, yep, and show up for those things. Yeah, that's what I do in the sauna.
Speaker 2:I know I really do so for our listeners. It's like I tease her a little bit because she goes to the gym.
Speaker 1:She teases me a lot.
Speaker 2:But she goes. I know, but it's just because I love you. She goes to the gym and she goes in the sauna, and I've never, I don't understand that. But then you know she's, she's got her headphones in and she's doing her little meditation. She does her little exercises while she's in there.
Speaker 1:And I listened to a guided meditation and it's wonderful. I lay down, I close my eyes. It's guided meditation and they have all different kinds. If you've not ever listened to it, if you have a hard time sleeping or if you're going through hard things in life, some of the things that we're talking about, they have healing guided positive healing, guided meditations. They have deep sleep. They have all different kinds of guided being. Somebody is saying all the things and so you're laying there and you're saying them yourself as you're listening. It's actually really probably just quite peaceful.
Speaker 1:It's very peaceful, it's very healing, it's very positive and it feels amazing.
Speaker 2:So I mean, I've had guided meditations, but my one that I owe my go to which is kind of funny because I hate the rain, but it's, the rain sounds you know, which I'll turn on the rain sounds. It's very comforting for whatever reason, but it's that white noise maybe for my sleep. Yeah, I think you know. One thing that would be really important to consider is when I talked earlier about how you carry yourself, when I say that, what do you, what do you think?
Speaker 2:as far as to mine, like when I say how you carry yourself is really important to how you, how you show up in the world. So when I say that, what do you envision? I envision myself.
Speaker 1:It was just. Even when I go to work, I get ready every day I work. There's a warehouse where I work. You know it's construction, plumbing, hvac. I'm just in an office in a corner by myself. But even though I get up every day, I put my makeup on before I go to work. I typically don't wear jeans.
Speaker 1:I dress it's not overly dressed but, I dress decent and it has everything to do with how I feel, and when I walk into the office my head is up. I say hello, you can hear me, my presence is there.
Speaker 1:That's what I think about in regard to how you carry yourself. I could not put any makeup on and throw some sweats and jeans on sweats or jeans, it's whatever and I could, you know, sneak through the back door and sit down in my chair and do the same exact same job, probably not feeling very great about who I am and what I'm presenting, as far as myself, and it makes all the difference in how you perform.
Speaker 1:And it makes a difference in how you perform, makes a difference in how you talk to people, how you approach people, and I'm one of those. I have a mirror on my desk so I can see myself when I talk on the phone, and that's a cool idea.
Speaker 2:I knew we thought of that.
Speaker 1:Because voice inflections you can tell if somebody's smiling. They're very low vibration If they're not pleasant or smiling when they're talking on the phone, or you can tell if somebody is smiling A little bit. Yeah, so I have a mirror on my desk, just a little friendly reminder like that. It matters, it matters.
Speaker 2:It really does, I think, posture.
Speaker 1:Posture.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this sounds really silly, but it's just simple little things like your posture and then how you enter a room, not like you're saying ta-da.
Speaker 1:I'm here.
Speaker 2:It's not like that, but how you enter a room, how you carry yourself when you're entering makes a big difference on the perceived level of confidence you have. You may have not that much confidence, but you can carry yourself in a way that you do, and then boom, all of a sudden, your confidence level is back to where it had been before.
Speaker 1:So I think that's really important, and you know me with manifestation. Me and manifestations have a big thing that they have a lot to do with that too. Self-talk and things that if you are having a hard time, I do that. If I'm having a hard time, I try to give myself positive self things to say Like a pep talk yes, you are the best driver in the world Like if you get an accident next time it can be it can be a little intimidating to get behind the wheel after you've had an accident, but you know it's just like I'm the best driver on the road.
Speaker 1:I follow the law. I don't get in car accidents.
Speaker 2:I mean it's just I mean it sounds silly, but it does I never get tickets, but it does.
Speaker 1:I drive the speed limit. I always look over my shoulder but I mean it does help. That's a silly example, but just that, an example of the things that you can do to help yourself feel better about things.
Speaker 2:Yeah, small little stepping stones, I think, make a difference. I feel like another thing would be trying something new and exciting. So one thing about becoming, or perceiving yourself as being, dull is that you might be in routine like really doldrum boring routine. You know you do exactly the same thing every day. You talk to the same people, you do your email. Everything's done the same time every day and there's nothing spontaneous.
Speaker 2:There's nothing exciting, really, about it. What are, what are some things you can think of? I mean, I'm thinking you could try making something different for dinner, like I'm not a big seafood person. I like seafood, it's okay but I chose to get shrimp and make these shrimp bowls, which I'd never made before, and I was just like damn, these are pretty good.
Speaker 1:That's so funny. I went upstairs when I saw you eating that. I was like, oh, that's different for her to be eating shrimp.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:That's exactly what I thought. Yeah, that's funny.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I was just like let's just try something new or cutting your hair differently.
Speaker 1:Little things. I went from using taupe brow pencil to blonde. What a different. I feel better about my brows.
Speaker 2:Yeah, or you know, just even getting your hair done and getting your hair colored, yeah. You know, we were talking before with one of our friends and B about letting her hair go gray and she just was like screw it, I'm tired of getting my hair done. I had to get it done like down to like every three weeks or something because her gray was coming in so much. And then I was looking at these pictures of my mom and trying to figure out when she decided to let her hair go gray.
Speaker 2:And it wasn't until 2019. So really, yeah, oh. So she's now 90 years old? Yeah, so she waited till she was 85 to stop coloring her hair. Well, she comes from that, she's got that background, I know, but it's like the different. I mean, she looks so cute with her little silver hair now and it's appropriate. It looks fine with her, but she waited all that time to do that and it's like I think I'm going to be that person Because I'll be wearing makeup till the day I die.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Well.
Speaker 2:I just I don't want gray hair. Yeah, is that wrong? I mean, I just I don't want gray hair. Yeah, it's not like I'm. I'm going to try to do all of these different things to. I'm not going to have like a facelift. I'm not going to do all this stuff to to feel younger, but to feel more relevant or to feel like my best self. I. I don't have a problem with people doing any of that stuff.
Speaker 1:I think it's different for everybody.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Whatever the relevance is. That's an interesting term, because whatever is relevant is going to be different for me than it is for you, so whatever it is, you should just do it.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, yeah, I think too that it's important not to hold judgment against people who are around our age, but doing things differently than you are.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:And I find that that does happen.
Speaker 1:It's like I can be a bit judgy. I I admit that I'm judgy sometimes. Well, you, have.
Speaker 2:You have a very natural way of approaching things and you know you've got this natural beauty about you and your skin always looks good and she's taken care of her skin. You know, frankly throughout her life. So it's going to look good until she's older and and that's just the way it is. But yeah, you do have definitely a little bit about that, but that's okay. You do, you, you know I don't really have a problem with any of it. If people want to spend money on stuff like that, let them.
Speaker 1:I don't think it doesn't bother me and you're absolutely right. That's why I say I 100% agree. I recognize that sometimes I say some things, not towards anybody particular, but about that industry in general, can tend to be judgy with it, but you're, you're right. Whatever I mean, it's there and if that's what is making somebody feel seen and that's how they want to show up more power to you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Well, things like you know, like getting your nails done, yeah, Like there's I was thinking about this the other day is like there's definitely things that I do, that I will. It's like maintenance that I'll always do. Now, if I didn't do them like I didn't do them some of them during the pandemic and I just felt, I felt like a troll, yeah, I didn't get my nails done.
Speaker 1:Yeah, not like anybody else, is probably going to care or notice, but I do, yeah, and it's the things that make us feel good, definitely yeah, yeah, 100% agree. So how we dress our skin care To do the things, yeah.
Speaker 2:How our hair looks or if we're actually doing our hair, or getting it cut or getting it styled that sort of thing. I mentioned how you carry yourself. Another one I think that is really important for people to pay attention to is their teeth.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:It's like you know if you are a coffee drinker or you smoke or you know red wine, I think can stain your teeth and stuff too that you're really paying attention to that, because that can give you the appearance of being older. Yeah, and it's such an easy thing to address and to to fix.
Speaker 1:So really it's about taking care of yourself, you know little self care, like you were talking about trying new things. Like if you've never tried whitening strips, give it a shot. Yeah, because it does make for a brighter smile.
Speaker 2:Or who. I was talking with someone a while ago that had never worn red lipstick.
Speaker 1:Well, it wasn't me, but it could be, it could be. I mean ever in their whole life had never worn red lipstick and it was kind of like I wonder what they would look like with red lipstick. Red lipstick, yeah Well, I mean never wear makeup, you know it's like they just think it's too indulgent.
Speaker 2:you know to wear the makeup, but again it goes back to how they were raised. Right it goes back to what their parents taught them. Yeah, I mean, everything dials back to that. What are some of the other things you can really display? Maybe some confidence about yourself and something that you are good at yes, you know and sharing and imparting that with other people. Do you feel like in the business world, that it's noticeable that women who are older are invisible?
Speaker 1:I think the possibility is there. This is so interesting because the more we're talking about it, the more I'm feeling like that word invisible. It just flips back onto our own selves. It all has to do with how we're showing up. But yes, to answer your question, I do feel like that happens and unfortunately, you know your environment and who you choose to surround yourselves with matters, and that has a lot to do with it. So, understandably, a lot of times we don't have control over that in our job setting. So we have to, if it's not the most positive, do the best we can and get through that. But outside of that, the people we choose to spend our time with, I think is a big part of how we're feeling as well, and if they are positive people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, positive supportive uplifting.
Speaker 2:I mean not everybody's zippity-doo-da all day long, but it's so funny because Zoe and I were talking the other day about I mean, she's obviously 27 and beautiful, gorgeous, young cute girl, you know, and she doesn't do a lot of extra stuff for her, so she doesn't wear a lot of makeup.
Speaker 2:She doesn't wear anything like she's just pretty girl. But boy oh boy, she loves to get her hair done, but she doesn't do it very often because it's expensive. So for her birthday I got her time with Misty, the gal that we go to. Who is? She is like happiness in a jar this woman.
Speaker 2:I just adore her and I've known her since she was like 18 years old. But Zoe had said I was like, how did your hair turn out? And she was like it's amazing, everything's amazing. After I'm with Misty, my life's amazing, I think amazing. I walk out of here and it's so true, and I walk out of there and I feel the same way. You know we have those conversations together and I walk out of there.
Speaker 2:It's like I'm such a badass Life changers life changers they are, and there's people like that each year point, that are in your life, that are just super positive and kind of are your cheerleaders, and I think it's important to surround ourselves with more people like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think too. It's important to follow your instincts in regard to things like that and be the cheerleader For other people I might need it. For other people who might need it.
Speaker 2:Yep exactly so. It's about demonstrating, maybe to the world, that you are amazing and you are worthy. That's one of my favorite words as you know.
Speaker 2:And it's also about commanding respect, just allowing yourself to be in a situation where you are being respected. If you're being disrespected by somebody because they are ignoring you, are you okay with that? Or if they are being rude to you or bypassing you, are you okay with that? Are you allowing that to happen? Not saying that you're going to go get an argument or a fight with this person, but you have to step back and ask yourself it's like am I okay with this? Because if it's happening now, it's going to continue to happen in other situations as well. So, anyway, I love the fact that you had this little epiphany moment about the word invisible, because I really do believe you're right. It's about how we show up, and there are so many different ways for us at our age to be able to show up and feel relevant, feel beautiful, feel like we make a difference and that what we have to say matters. Kind of like our podcast.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, this is true, our podcast. That's out there. Just a reminder everybody on all the socials, and remember to download, follow, like, share, follow and download Blonde Burnett and a Mike podcast, because we don't want to be invisible, no, we want to be seen. God damn it, we are not invisible and heard. Right, right, okay. So with that, until next time, everybody, peace out, bye, bye.