A Blonde A Brunette and a Mic
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A Blonde A Brunette and a Mic
Season 2 Episode 93 Jealousy and Envy in Our Lives
Ever felt that pang of jealousy creep into your relationships, leaving you questioning your self-worth? We, Michele and Julee, have been there too, and in this episode of "A Blonde, A Brunette and A Mic," we promise to unpack the often misunderstood emotions of jealousy and envy that touch every corner of our lives.
Through our conversation, we explore how these feelings extend beyond just romance, infiltrating family dynamics and the workplace. By sharing our own experiences, we highlight how subtle behaviors, like flirtation or neglect, can make significant others feel invisible. We emphasize the crucial role of trust and consideration, as partners navigate these emotional minefields.
As we journey through the complexities of envy and confidence, we discuss the delicate balance between independence and caring within relationships. Our stories of feeling overshadowed during pivotal life moments resonate with anyone who's struggled to voice concerns without seeming insecure. We also draw a line between envy and jealousy, considering envy as a less harmful emotion that can still teach us valuable lessons about self-improvement. By examining how jealousy manifests in everyday situations, we aim to equip you with the tools needed for introspection and growth, ultimately encouraging a deeper understanding of these universal emotions. Join us in this candid discussion to better manage and embrace these feelings, making for healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
Hey everybody. This is Michelle and this is Julie. Welcome to a blonde, a brunette and a mic podcast. What is our podcast all about, you ask?
Speaker 2:Well, we're 250 something.
Speaker 1:Women with life experience and oh bloody to say, which is exactly what we're gonna do right now. So we're going to jump into kind of a big topic. In a way it can be jealousy. There's a lot wrapped up in that, don't you think Absolutely, and in a lot of different facets because, it's not just.
Speaker 1:I think typically, when we think of jealousy, it's in regard to in a relationship, a romantic relationship, and you know people get jealous of their partners, whatever it might be, whether it's founded or not founded. We'll talk about the underlying things of jealousy, but also families.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's what I mean. Yeah, siblings. And then also I would think, like in your work environment too.
Speaker 1:I mean it's that jealousy can be everywhere it's just top of mind, when you hear the word jealous, it's typically you know that you know jealous boyfriend or jealous girlfriend.
Speaker 2:So when you when you hear that word, when you hear, um, oh, he's so jealous or oh he's, what comes to mind, like what kind of behavior comes to mind for you, for someone who's behaving in a jealous way?
Speaker 1:Off the top. You think of inappropriate compulsive, reactive behavior when it comes to jealousy. You know, controlling. Controlling is the word I was thinking of.
Speaker 2:Yeah, controlling, yeah relationships in particular like I've I mean, I've run across I've never really run across this per se myself, but where you are like a woman or a guy are not allowed to talk with, like a girl at their work, or not allowed to talk with their ex, who happens to be like a family member's, friend or, you know, might run into functions at or something like that.
Speaker 2:They're not allowed to be around them. But I think a lot of that really directly corresponds with someone's well, I say feelings of insecurity, you know, because you're feeling insecure about something and that's why you feel like you need to control or have those jealous tendencies. But I think, just as important and we're talking romantic relationships here for a minute a lot of that is dependent upon how that person, your partner, shows up for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Because if they're not showing up for you in that way or they are making you feel less than not, not not there, you know, um, spending time and attention talking to someone else who uh, maybe it's they're flirting, you know those sorts of things. I mean, of course, any person, man or woman, is going to be inclined to feel uncomfortable with that and maybe jealous of something like that. I would think.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So I mean, I was talking with an older person, someone who's, you know, much older than us, and we're just sharing thoughts and comments about when they were younger and when they had originally gotten married and the kind of behavior that had been taking place with their husband. And it was, I mean, probably for all intents and purposes, looking at it from the outside like someone who didn't really know. They might not even have noticed that things were happening, but they would go to these parties and or functions, whatever, whatever, and the guy would be off basically flirting with other women or dancing with other women or you know whatever, and leaving his wife to handle putting the food on the table or whatever. He was off doing his own thing and it's like when and they're they were married couples.
Speaker 2:So it was. She was saying that she felt like she was invisible like she wasn't even there.
Speaker 2:Like what would happen if she wasn't there? Like that's the kind of feeling she had, and was that something that she was insecure about because of the way she was, or is it because the behavior of this guy and how that was making her feel? Did she not feel safe? Right, right and um and I mean I've run across things like that before very subtle, very subtle things. I can think of the, the person that I had spent, you know, quite a couple, three years with um. It was never direct, it, it was never overt, but you always kind of there was always like this feeling that you had like in the back of your mind, you know. I'll give you a couple examples. Like we had gone to Vegas and it was this big elaborate dinner and there was a woman who was hosting, I guess, at the restaurant or whatever. She's very pretty and you could tell she totally had her eye on the person that I was with. You could just tell I mean, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, Women are pretty keen on that.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, and it's. It's this really subtle undercurrent of something that you feel and it's really hard to describe, but she was making additional efforts to come by the table or to bring, you know, the signature drink you know, things like that.
Speaker 2:It was very, very obvious to me what was happening and he was, he was playing right into it. But you know, under the guise of you know, oh, she's just being friendly, oh, there's nothing. You know, I wouldn't. I didn't really say anything because I don't want to come across as being like insecure or like I'm the one that's got the problem, but it was definitely something where I felt uncomfortable, like you knew that you have to kind of ask yourself, if I wasn't there, what would happen.
Speaker 2:You know, so I believe that a lot of the, the jealousy or or the behavior that leads to that level of insecurity comes from the people that are around you too. It's not just about you. It's about the people that you trust or the people that you're putting in those positions, and they're not really thinking about how you feel about things.
Speaker 1:It's just kind of. It's kind of like uh, watching parents, parent in public. You know what I mean If you've ever seen somebody be real extreme with their child, like at the store or something, and then in your mind you're like I mean, if they're like that in public?
Speaker 2:what are they like at home when?
Speaker 1:nobody's watching, Right. So that's. I was thinking of that as you were just telling that story like, okay, if he's going to be acting like this when I'm sitting right here with him, what's he acting a fool when I'm not here?
Speaker 2:But if you, said anything, then it would be like what are you talking about? I'm not doing anything.
Speaker 1:It's kind of gaslighting a little bit, I mean these are all things that I just.
Speaker 2:I don't know why this one particular thing came up, because there's probably a few others that I could use as examples again, but that one I definitely remember, and he wasn't quote acting a fool, but my venturing is that if I wasn't there he'd be acting a fool.
Speaker 1:Now knowing what I know. That's what I mean, yeah.
Speaker 2:Or any other place for that matter. You know when people are charming or you know handsome or you know pretty or whatever. It's like they might be getting different level of attention on something and they might not have the level of security to know to not be a part of that.
Speaker 1:Well, and flirting, we're going off on a little bit of a rabbit hole, but I think it's all relevant to the topic of jealousy Because, like, why would you be flirtatious like that in front of the person you care about, right, you know, and you shouldn't be like that. Well, I think it's not with that, you know, under the guise of oh, I'm just being friendly. Oh, I'm da, da, da, da, da, you know, or?
Speaker 2:whatever. So I think when you start running across those situations where you see that with people like the lady I was telling you about, who's an older lady now and that she remembers that stuff so vividly, that happened 40, 50 years ago, you know, because obviously it made her feel like shit, yeah, and she probably didn't address it because, you know, back then they didn't really address that kind of stuff. Men are men. You know, the mad men era kind of a thing Boys will be boys and just kind of let it go.
Speaker 2:But to me, it strikes me as so disrespectful.
Speaker 1:Disrespectful, and I think too, you know, it's all about how your partner and this can go both ways really you know, because plenty of women that are going to flirt in front of their man you know. So it all depends on the securities that you have with each other in that relationship.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:For sure, Because I'm thinking about, you know, my guy. He's social, he talks to people, he's very outgoing, you know, in social settings and I think for an insecure woman that could be taken the wrong way, but like he never has to explain himself because I know that's what he, that's who he is right you know, and so I'm sure there's plenty of lines with people, though, that are crossed in that way and, to your point, use it under the guise of whatever yeah, I I do think it's something that men and women both experience.
Speaker 2:I think, that it comes out in different ways, and a lot of it has to do with, like you said, the level of security that that person feels, whether it's from prior situations or if it's from their relationship that they have there. I think that can bring someone who's even really confident to a place where they're doubting themselves.
Speaker 2:You know. But I kind of, I kind of am at that place where I'm of the opinion that if that's how they're going to behave, then you know. More power to them. You do, you, you know sort of a thing. I don't really need to be around that.
Speaker 1:Whoever you're spending time with, in whatever kind of setting it is, it could be a friendship, a friendship and a friendship and a relationship. If they're not adding value to your life and making, if you don't feel good when you're around somebody, whatever the circumstances are, then you really should be questioning.
Speaker 2:Why you should be around them to begin with.
Speaker 1:Yeah, cause time is really valuable. You know that is something you could. You is really valuable. You know that is something you could. You never get back.
Speaker 2:I know you know.
Speaker 1:so how you spend it is super important and should be very intentional, and you should be very conscious about how you're feeling when you're spending that time with the people that you're spending time with. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And and that people have those positive intentions you know, and not trying to make you feel like crap.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Because I think there's a lot of times, maybe, when those things could be very deliberate to put you in your place, to let you know that they are wanted to let you know that other people find them interesting. So then you have to kind of go OK, this isn't about me, Right, it's about them.
Speaker 2:So there's two different ways really to look at that you know, and if they feel that they need that much attention from someone else, then you have to kind of ask yourself it's like, are they not getting enough attention, or is it that they need so much that they're gonna like smother you if you try to you, would you know, give them that much attention as?
Speaker 1:we're talking about this and getting a little bit more in depth about different facets of it. It's just making me think about the root of what jealousy is. I know we were talking about control. You know the person being controlling, right, so there's that. But then there's also, I think, insecurity when it comes to jealousy. Then there's can be topped with narcissism in a relationship and using that to benefit. I mean, it can just like spiral out of control Into all kinds of different things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for sure, probably within families, relationships, all the things I know we tend to like creep back to the relationship part when it comes to jealousy, because I think that's where a lot of it can manifest itself for people personally in their lives.
Speaker 2:But yeah, Well, let me ask you this. You came from a really large family. How do you recall having that jealous emotion with your siblings?
Speaker 1:I don't recall feeling jealousy. I think there was some envy. Being the youngest, I always wanted what my sisters had. But I think it's different. I was never jealous, no, I can't like jealous.
Speaker 2:No, I can't say that I was. I don't remember specifics, but there was kind of my mom or my sister. They made up this thing when I was little and they would say jealous, jelly, because I apparently was jealous of my sister, which I mean I'm assuming that's maybe what they were talking about. I mean now obviously I kind of laugh about it now, Jealous jelly Julie. No, it was the way they said it.
Speaker 1:It was like jealous Julie they would do it like that, so extreme. I know it was dramatic it was very dramatic.
Speaker 2:I was kind of maybe a little dramatic myself, but I mean I probably was to some degree, because Angie, you know, got a lot of attention. But she kind of deserved it because she was there all the time.
Speaker 1:It probably manifests more when there's just two kids. My brother was quite a bit older, so he didn't really play in that game, when there's eight of you, you just kind of get lost in this giant shuffle.
Speaker 2:I know and you're the baby.
Speaker 1:I always wanted to be like my sisters. That's what I say. I don't even know that it was envy. Like I said a few minutes ago, I just always wanted to be like them. They always seem to like do their hair and their makeup you know, just that kind of thing that's.
Speaker 2:it wasn't really. I think it's really refreshing to be around people or like in a, in a dating capacity, for example, or friendship capacity, where there is none of that.
Speaker 1:Like they're confident enough in themselves.
Speaker 2:But on the flip side of that it's like if someone's never shows any kind of question about what, who you're talking to or who that person is or who they are to you kind of a thing, then you're kind of like, well, do they even care? So there's like a balance that you have to find, Definitely a balance between the two of them.
Speaker 1:I think too, it's important for people like in a relationship to to talk about those types of people, if there are people you know that that they have uh relationships with whether it's friendships or whatever it is, you know that. And if you know that there's time being spent or whatever, co-workers, any kind of capacity you know to be able to be open about that and not seem secretive like you're trying to hide anything well, I think, if you don't want to stir anything, you know
Speaker 1:it's just so tricky tricky balance there if you're trying, you know.
Speaker 2:That's the thing. I think people might hesitate to come out and say something because they don't want to be viewed as petty or as insecure or as controlling, sure, but it might be their behavior. You know, like say, you're at a party kind of a thing, and your, your girlfriend, wife, is talking to someone and you come up and take her arm and pull her away, or vice versa. You know, a woman comes up and says you know, gets in the middle of something, because you can see, honestly, women are.
Speaker 2:I would say women are worse than worse worse than men when it comes to this kind of thing, because we just have like radar, you could tell if someone doesn't have their, if a woman does not have a boundary, and they're just kind of like you know any anything is up for grabs yeah and so I've always kind of said you know, if you know if, if they're up for grabs, if, if the person if they are up for grabs and the person that I'm with bites, then I'm not gonna fight right for them.
Speaker 2:Now there's a lot of women that would say, oh, I need to. You know, like, show my say, you need to step away from my man, you need to do it. I don't think I'd ever really do that. I don't. I don't know if I would. I don't think I would, because it comes across like I'm being uh, I'm being controlling or I'm being jealous.
Speaker 1:Well, here's the thing If that person is biting in the first place, if he's biting, why am I fighting? Exactly, there we go I like that, Michelle. If he's biting, why?
Speaker 2:am I fighting? But even if he's not biting is what I'm saying Because he might be oblivious to what's going on. A lot of guys are very oblivious to, uh, you know people, women coming on to them, women flirting with them. They don't have a flipping clue what's happening, you know, and so they're just you know, not I, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Maybe maybe I'm naive about that. I think people that are not really socially inclined might not have a I. I don't know, maybe maybe I'm naive about that. I think people that are not really socially inclined might not have a clue.
Speaker 1:I don't know about that, no yeah, I don't, I don't know, I think yeah, I I don't, because if they're not socially inclined and you know there's a woman that's kind of coming on to them, or being sassy with them or talking football with them yeah, that's true yeah, I remember this a long time ago, but I was, um, oh gosh, I was so flipping pregnant.
Speaker 2:I don't remember which kid it was, but I was really pregnant. This is a great. This is a great story of jealousy, because there was, there were, so the Packers were playing in Seattle and you know those Packer fans are die-hard fans right. And of course, my family, my half, my family, was from Wisconsin, so naturally.
Speaker 2:Packer fans. So all these people came to visit from Wisconsin with their jerseys and they were all going to the game and they stayed at our house. A lot of them stayed at our house and I don't even remember what this girl's name was, but there was this girl that came with one of the people and I didn't know her and nobody knew her, right, I mean, we didn't know her.
Speaker 2:I should say but she's welcome, of course, sure, and total football fan, totally could keep up with the guys. Totally was funny, she was cute, she was charming and everybody was having so much fun with her and I'm sitting here like a big fat pig, can barely get up the stairs at the I'm not kidding, I felt so gross and icky and ugly and I'm like who's this cute girl that they're all absolutely like having so much fun with? And she didn't do anything wrong, right. But I mean isn't it funny how I remember that from like, yeah, 20, some odd years ago. I mean I remember that because it's like I hope she never comes back.
Speaker 2:I don't remember your name, but you better, damn well, not come back.
Speaker 1:That's so funny. Well, and I think too like you. Yeah, you're like a million pounds. Yeah, You're feeling that way. That was conservative. Yeah, Puffy, not cute, None of the things you know where to put your feet. Feet up. Little Miss Sunshine, they're doing all the entertaining, oh yeah.
Speaker 2:Tiny little thing, you know, their tiny little cute jeans and her tiny little, I'm like bitch, go have a beer and a burger, you know and a hot dog and a bratwurst. But I mean it's silly because it's like there's she didn't do anything wrong and it's like and my husband was not being any more or less nice to her than any of the other guys, but she was the only other girl besides me. And here I am, little miss sunshine, pregnant girl who can bear.
Speaker 1:Like I said, I think I was probably like eight months pregnant and that's, that's a woman, just being, and in general, I think you, you would probably agree, women can tend to be that way, sometimes, even when there's no threat of you know, like flirting with my man, just like that situation, you know so. And women can be like you know, where's this little Miss Sunshine, what is she doing?
Speaker 2:And just because the attention and everything else and hopefully she has chives at her teeth when she's laughing. You know, no, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1:No, I'm not, I'm not really kidding, I was really hoping she ended up with a bratwurst in her tooth or spit when she laughed, or something.
Speaker 2:I am not that.
Speaker 1:But I'm not that girl.
Speaker 2:as a general rule don't would never see me wish ill will on somebody. Never, but again, this is a long time ago, of course, this is like funny. There's probably more more stories that are more recent that I can think of. But yeah, I mean I've, I've seen women just say you know what, you know you, you just like stay away from my man, not to me, but just right, you know, it's like I I see you, I see you.
Speaker 1:You know that kind of a thing and it's like, oh, those are fighting words.
Speaker 2:It's like I see you, I see you, you know that kind of a thing and it's like, oh, those are fighting words. It's like you start getting in there and some hair pulling is going to happen, you know so anyway. So jealousy is it can be a very it can be.
Speaker 2:It can be a really rough thing for people to deal with, especially if you as an individual are in let's just say relationship, again in a relationship and you're constantly feeling like you have to monitor or be careful about who you talk to, who you say hello to, how you talk to someone on the phone, If you are going out with your friends and someone shows up that would be exhausting, I know.
Speaker 1:I think it really would be, especially for somebody that is just living their life and being who they are. And, you know, if you have a partner that is constantly doing that checkup, or can you? Imagine looking through your phone. You know calling you all the time seeing who you're with. What are you doing? No, thank you. I mean that would be. Then you're going to start probably making no, thank you, I mean that would be.
Speaker 1:Then you're gonna start probably making up stories to avoid all the things and then that just compounds into something bigger turns you into a liar, which is terrible yeah you know.
Speaker 2:So if you can't just be who you are and be yourself and I mean honestly, if you think about it, if I was, let's just you're in relationship so you can, you can answer this question. If Rick was saying you give me your phone, I want to look in your phone yeah, would would you just look up and go. What the fuck? Why would you even say something like? Why would you even ask me something like? That did I?
Speaker 2:do is there something about my behavior, something about any indication that I've given you that would make you feel like you don't trust me? That you have to look through my phone yeah, not that I care. Right, I don't care, I'm not doing anything wrong, but if I have to look through somebody's phone, I am not with the right person.
Speaker 1:Right, if I have to go start, yeah, will I mean, I'm looking through the phone, checking pockets, all the stuff. No, no, thank you.
Speaker 2:No, but Ain't nobody got time for that bullshit. If they're giving you an indication that there's something going on and your spidey senses are up, the spidey senses usually are correct. Oh yeah, you know.
Speaker 1:So I remember that a long yeah long time ago An older, wiser woman said that to me Trust what you're, just to trust what your gut is telling you.
Speaker 2:Your intuition, yeah.
Speaker 1:Trust your intuition.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:It is, it will not.
Speaker 2:It will not disappoint you it will not disappoint. It will not disappoint.
Speaker 1:Though you might be disappointed, yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, I'd rather be disappointed earlier on than later. Personally, that's what I would rather do. I'd rather not have to go with that go through that again you know or go through that on a regular basis.
Speaker 2:That would be that would be horrible. So, anyway, we talked a little bit about like why people feel jealous and you know it is a very painful thing, I think, and it could relate back to a lot of other circumstances where you've been hurt by somebody and so you behave that way with a person who's being perfectly honest with you, I know, and it's like fuels bad behavior, exactly All around.
Speaker 2:So you have to ask yourself why. You know, if you're out there and you're feeling that way, why are you behaving that way? You got to ask yourself. It's like is there something about this circumstance that's triggering me to the point where I feel like I can't trust my person? Or is this about me not being able to trust because of the shit that I've been through?
Speaker 1:You know that's so, that's so interesting and it's very true. That's something I have learned through my life journey. You can't penalize. You know somebody new for somebody else's behavior that you know, cause that's something that you, that's yours, and to put that on somebody else, that's that's not fair.
Speaker 2:You know, especially if you see a pattern in yourself and you're choosing people that make you feel that way.
Speaker 1:That's true too.
Speaker 2:That's something to really think about, because you're choosing incorrectly if you're choosing people that are making you feel like shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, and it could not be anything more than what we've just been talking about, or it might be something even more blatantly obvious- I think too, as we get older, we're more understanding of patterns and situations.
Speaker 1:True that we've been through and so I'm just thinking about again with my current partner, um, you know, he always it's something I'm super grateful for because he always answers his he. It never goes straight to voicemail. He always gets, answers the phone or calls me back or he'll text me and let me know why he didn't pay. You know, it's just like this. There's always a response, which I'm thankful for, because previously in my life that was a huge.
Speaker 1:It's triggering for it can be triggering for me straight to voicemail, Don't answering that, not answering the text message, not calling me back or not even nothing you know no response. So there's a whole lot of dynamics surrounding that which we don't need to get into. But because of that, that's why I say you know, something like that could be brought into a new relationship, right? You know it could ruin it and it could ruin it Right. And so I thankfully didn't have to deal with that. But yeah, just that's just like an example of something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, do you think that envy and jealousy are the same?
Speaker 1:I think, to a certain degree it promotes or causes or brings up certain feelings that are similar.
Speaker 1:Okay, jealous, because that's what you earlier when you asked me about my sister like you know in the family and you mentioned envy maybe envious um, which I think and I don't, I don't know, did um, I know we kind of put some notes together in regard to jealousy and and I'm not sure what it it said about that. But in my own mind, just thinking about it now, it seems to me that envy, I mean it's not like it's a good thing, but it seems less, um, it seems less harmful than jealousy.
Speaker 2:Well, it's more kind of like you are looking at, like you're looking at their house or you're looking at their car and you're like, oh, you're so lucky, I love that. I wish I had that Right. That's very different than uh, in my, in my opinion.
Speaker 2:You know the whole jealousy thing it's like when I, when I've seen people, you know, I can think of things in the past where, like I, was wearing a really hot outfit, nice outfit for work or whatever, and you get the up and down look, and the up and down look is like this jealousy look because it at least that's what I remember thinking because this person didn't work in an environment like that, she didn't get to wear cute clothes and she was literally critiquing everything I wore every day and I had some really, really cute clothes, I mean it was.
Speaker 2:It was a very prime time in my life. I can remember that. But I remember that feeling like, feeling like I didn't even want. I wanted to, like, see her. She was watching my kids. I wanted to see her before I changed and then change and go to work, because I didn't feel like I know and now I never did that, but it's like I would literally walk in and I could see to the whole, up one side and down the other thing, and probably she's turning around and talking to her friend on the phone about that bitch and look at all the nice clothes she's wearing and I'm over here. Blah, blah, blah. That's how I felt. Now, whether that was true or not, I don't know but I have a feeling it was because I heard her say things like that about other people.
Speaker 1:That's probably where it came from.
Speaker 2:So, anyway, how do you think that you can like get past some of these things or kind of improve in these categories of jealousy, envy, whether it be with your, like I said, like with your siblings, or with, in a school environment, like the teacher's pet? You know you're constantly having to keep up with other people who get more attention, and so you feel like you're not getting the right amount of attention. In a classroom, for example, you feel like you're not getting the right amount of attention.
Speaker 2:in a classroom, for example, or at work, you know someone else is getting more projects. They're getting more. They're getting things handed to them because the boss likes them better. Are you jealous of?
Speaker 1:that person.
Speaker 1:I think it's going to trigger feelings of, or you're going to have to pay attention to how you are reacting to those situations for sure, I'm just sitting here thinking of this and it's like you just have to stop looking at everybody else and look in the mirror, you know, and what is it about your? You got to figure that out. What's going on within your own self in with all of this stuff that we just talked about, and what are you going to do to make yourself feel better about that, not to be like that? Person but how to be a better person yourself, right.
Speaker 2:So, looking at this topic, I think one, one takeaway that I have, because we all have these feelings- of you know, whether it be jealousy, whether it be enviousness, whether feeling insecure in a situation everybody does? If they don't, they're lying. Yeah, no we all do.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But I think one important thing that is a takeaway for me on this is if I see something like that coming up, in whatever capacity, it's kind of a good checkpoint to say why am I feeling this way? Is this something that I am doing because of things that have bothered me in the past?
Speaker 2:Or is this something that's bothering me because of the way you know my family member, the person I care about or whatever is behaving. That's making me feel this way, you know. So you have to kind of ask yourself that and then you decide how you want to behave or how you want to respond to something like that. I mean, I've been, I feel like I'm pretty open to a lot of things. I like friendships with exes, for example. I mean, I don't really care, it doesn't. That doesn't bother me because that person has had a friendship or had some sort of interaction in your person's life. Now, if that person still has feelings or feels some kind of way about your person, that's a different story, Right, but you're going to be able to tell by how they behave.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And maybe that's an appropriate time to talk to your person and say, hey, they're very clearly have feelings for you, and it makes me uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Or you know, I don't like how you are playing on the fact that she has feelings for you and you're flirting with her, or whatever, whatever the case may be, but I think by not saying anything at all, it's almost condoning.
Speaker 1:you know, whatever the behavior, is True and you're correct, women we do do, we can tell. We can tell when that's uh, when it's a thing, when it's a thing. So I guess, on that note, don't be jealous.
Speaker 2:Don't obsessively monitor your boyfriend's phone, michelle, like she ever would but you know, it's kind of crazy.
Speaker 1:Our parents never had to deal with that that's just.
Speaker 2:But they did it differently.
Speaker 1:But it's a whole it's, but it's, it's a, really it's a, it's a layer now that there's so many things that are such an extra layer added on yeah that are contributing to these behaviors here. Here I go nowadays.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but you're right, because we didn't have again a lot of the things we talk about.
Speaker 1:they kind of dial back, as I like to say to social media and the interactions that people have, Well, just the internet, Like you know. Let me go watch some pornography right on my phone. I can do it anytime, anywhere.
Speaker 2:Is that what you were doing? Whenever, I want, when we were starting, I mean, she put it away. She put it away real quick, real quick yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, real quick. But do you know what I'm saying? It's, it's, it's the thing.
Speaker 2:So there's that too. That whole phone thing can be a jealousy thing for a lot of reasons. I think it also gets it's a, it's a it's gets a it's a. It's a. It's a tool you know that people will use to do the things that we're talking about. And again it goes back to how do you feel about it?
Speaker 1:talk to the text it like there's so much, there's that phone thing.
Speaker 2:Yes yeah, michelle decided that she wants to be amish and live in the country, in pennsylvania, and ride buggies and make her own butter Off grid. Baby, I do that now. I know Exactly, you're already starting.
Speaker 1:I make my own butter now.
Speaker 2:She makes her own butter. What else do you do?
Speaker 1:Bone broth, the bone broth, and from the bone broth I save the tallow that separates and I use that for cooking. Look at her.
Speaker 2:She's like Little House on the Prairie.
Speaker 1:Just call me Laura, I'm so jealous.
Speaker 2:Laura Ingalls Wilder, I'm so envious.
Speaker 1:Anyway, I'm really I'm really not. I'll just go to the store. She is not.
Speaker 2:I'm not for sure, but if she has some ghee, yeah, that I might let her make me some popcorn or something. Anyway anyway I thought this would be kind of a fun topic to talk. Well, not fun, but you know.
Speaker 1:Interesting it is Brings up a lot of thought process on different situations.
Speaker 2:I think it just gets you to understand how you feel about certain things and you know the bulk of our audience there's men that are in our audience- too, but the bulk of our audience are women. Yeah, and we are. Every single woman that's listening to this knows exactly what we're talking about.
Speaker 1:R E S P E C T.
Speaker 2:I don't remember the rest. Respect, no, no, no. The rest of the song, no, I know, and that's really what it comes down to. It's like self-respect and having having the people that are in your life be respectful of you and if there's something that's happening, make them aware of it, and if they continue the behavior, then your problem's huge huger than you think.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, and how you message it, that's going to be a huge thing. If you come at it in a very combative, triggering way, you're probably going to get a combative, triggering response yeah from whoever it is. But if you're, you know, heartfelt and just you know, are really sharing an emotion and how things, something might make you be feeling it could be a different you, you may get that.
Speaker 1:You know, same type of response yeah heartfelt and, uh, you know same type of response yeah, heartfelt, and you know more open to that listening, so hopefully that's what it would be. The key is to talk about it.
Speaker 2:Talk about it? Yeah, talk about it. Don't start singing another song, I won't. She was about ready to. I could see her coming up with something. All right, people, I know you're all very jealous of the fact that we're sitting on the couch and have the fireplace going.
Speaker 1:And that we're ending this now.
Speaker 2:Before Michelle starts saying something she's going to regret yeah, I won't start singing.
Speaker 1:We got to go. She does have a really good voice, though.
Speaker 2:We are the one. Let's go. We are the children. All right, guys, have a good one. All right, we'll see you next week. Peace out, bye.