A Blonde A Brunette and a Mic
Look forward to time with these two women who have life experience and something to say! Join us each week as we dive into topics that may be raw, unfiltered, funny and even a little controversial. Whatever we discuss will give you our perspective, get you thinking and will keep you coming back for more!
A Blonde A Brunette and a Mic
Season 2 Episode 92 A sense of Belonging
What happens when falling leaves and family dynamics intertwine with a quest for belonging? Picture a cozy fall afternoon where Michele and Julee, your favorite hosts of "A Blonde, a Brunette and a Mic," share a laugh about Michele's son's leaf-blowing antics from afar and Julee's sister's quirky aversion to family pets. Through warm and engaging stories, we explore how stress manifests differently in each of us, from Michele’s laid-back approach to Julee’s occasional uptight moments, all while drawing inspiration from late-night musings on belonging.
Ever wondered how social media shapes our connections? Join us as we reveal the paradox of digital communication: it’s easier than ever to connect, yet somehow we feel more isolated. Our conversation uncovers the challenges of rediscovering ourselves after pivotal life changes—like divorce or the transition from raising children—and the importance of embracing personal growth. We share our own experiences, reflecting on the importance of self-acceptance in the shifting landscapes of relationships and identity, especially in a world where face-to-face engagement often feels optional.
How do we find our tribe in the hustle and bustle of life? Through relatable anecdotes, we examine the pressures of fitting in, the joy of unexpected friendships (one formed in the gym, no less!), and the bonds forged in fraternities and sororities. We ponder on the quest for community, balancing career aspirations with personal life, and even touch on the spiritual connections we seek. And as the election looms, we can't help but express our varied levels of anticipation. It's a heartfelt, humorous ride through the complexities of belonging and building relationships, one leaf at a time.
Hey everybody, this is Michelle and this is Julie. Welcome to a blonde, a brunette and a mic podcast. What is our podcast all about, you ask? Well, we're 250 something. Women with life experience and oh bloody to say, which is exactly what we're gonna do right now. I know we're into fall, we're well into fall. It was cold when I left this morning. It's like you know 45 degrees. It's a little bit hazy. It's very damp.
Speaker 1:It sounds kind of depressing Tis the season, but I just want to point out how disappointed my son would be that the driveway is covered with leaves and tree paraphernalia, and he just did that whole.
Speaker 2:he blew the whole area he left the blower.
Speaker 1:It's like in the garage down on the floor and I just he left it for you. Yeah, really yeah, oh no, that's his job, but he's, he's not here.
Speaker 2:He's not here. Oh, the one that's in the UK.
Speaker 3:The landscaper Got it, got it Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I was thinking about taking a picture and sending it to him saying I'm clearly disappointing you. Take a look at this driveway. But I just I didn't know that you could blow leaves when they're wet. You can't, but I've seen people doing it all week. Really, yeah, that's really yeah. That's where I was like uh, I didn't think they would even move. Well, they'll probably move some anyways, my point being I need to like give it a shot do you feel like you need to belong in the landscaping world?
Speaker 1:well, I don't know that I would want to belong there, but I am feeling the sense of inserting myself in that so that I could I, I don't even know Slip down the driveway. Not slip down the driveway, she's going to slip down the driveway.
Speaker 2:Slip down the driveway. Well, we wanted to talk today about I kind of tried to bring it up in a very casual- way, I was a little off topic.
Speaker 1:I wasn't bringing us into the topic very well.
Speaker 2:Hey, I just wanted to let everybody know that I checked in with my sister about the dogs in the bed episode, Because Mark, you know, is her husband and he's hilarious and she tolerates him like some would tolerate their German shepherd In the bed. In the bed and she's like, yeah, it was really cute. I listened to it, but ew under the covers and I'm like this is Harlow we're talking about here.
Speaker 1:Are we talking about Mark? Are we talking about the dog? We're talking about the dog. Okay, just wanted to be clear, look at her.
Speaker 2:She's so cute.
Speaker 2:And it's like you know, you don't even know she's there. She keeps your feet warm sometimes, whatever. Anyway, I'm working on my sister. I'm working on her because, michelle, we were talking about being uptight and Angie is a little uptight. We love her. I'm just going to preface all that by saying we love Angie, but she is kind of uptight, yeah. So she's always kind of been that way and I think it's kind of funny because I have my moments of being uptight too, which Michelle's agreeing with like a really big head nod over here yeah but it's about other, only to give you shit, yeah that's the only reason.
Speaker 1:I don't even care, man give me all the shit you want.
Speaker 2:It's like we have our moment. You're uptight too. I really, no, not really, I can't be I'm sure there are times I don't I don't see you behaving that way. The only time I see you get kind of stressed is when you've got like a ton of things going on at once. And then you just kind of disappear.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I know she's in her moment you know, whatever, but no, I really don't. I don't feel like you're uptight to any degree.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe that's good.
Speaker 1:Free flowing, go with the flow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm just uptight about, like she mentioned, in seattle and I think in other major cities they have those uh, scooters and line bikes. We call them line bikes yeah, because they're green. Yeah, green and white where you put your credit card info in and they'll drive you around. And we had a couple out here and I'm like, can we not have those out here?
Speaker 1:and she was just like oh geez, yeah, well, no, you were. You were like do you know who those scooter, those line bikes belong to in the driveway? I'm like why?
Speaker 2:are there two of them in our driveway?
Speaker 1:yeah, that's a little excessive yeah, agreed, yeah, but that was that was for isaac, but, and I understand now. But he can put them on the side of the house he's very, he's been very good about concealing the line bike and no furniture on the road that says free.
Speaker 2:That says free. Yeah, I just like we know that. Yeah, don't do that. If she does that, it's gonna be when I'm out of town or something.
Speaker 3:I don't like that.
Speaker 2:Anyway, we wanted to talk about a sense of belonging because I was telling Michelle okay, so let's just put it out there. I was probably a tiny bit stoned, I'm just going to say that the other night and but I was asleep I went to sleep and I woke up with a start and I'm like, all of a sudden, this topic popped into my head and I said, hey, Siri, and I told my, I texted myself this topic, a sense of belonging. Have no idea where it came from. It might have been in a dream or something that.
Speaker 2:I was having.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but obviously something that's been on your mind, though, because that's typically how dreams come through as well, I know.
Speaker 2:But I mean, I'm trying to figure out where I would be feeling like I have a need for a sense of belonging.
Speaker 1:I don't really feel that way right now, but we go through stages, maybe because you sent me and Eileen the Hell's Bells event that's going on and we're both like, yeah, we're going to be with our grandchildren. Oh, that's right. I was like, yeah, Hell's Bells. And maybe you were feeling left out because you're not a grandma yet. I highly doubt it.
Speaker 2:No, I'm definitely not feeling left out of that.
Speaker 1:I'm teasing, I know, but my day will come.
Speaker 2:Like forgot grandma duty, you guys go do your thing. And I was talking to Zoe about it tonight. We were talking about the trick or treating and I was like, yeah, I kind of just want to like turn off the lights and if I'm home, I think a lot of people do that now. Well, I and I, I don't want people walking up my my drive area she told me that's an excuse.
Speaker 2:Zoe said that's an excuse, you, just it's a valid one, though it is, because it's kind of dark and treacherous. There's a good one, that's a very good word Treacherous because it has leaves that are wet and it's not like an even sidewalk.
Speaker 1:Yeah, rocks, stones that are uneven. Hey, whatever it looks, cool Laden with pebbles in between yes and those little chick things.
Speaker 2:What are those chick things called? Hens and chicks. Hens and chicks.
Speaker 1:We start. Yep, we had a little few starts and they are starting to spread. But what? What are those? What are hens and chicks?
Speaker 2:it's a. It's a succulent, there's succulents out on the treacherous walk, so wait a minute. Is that like? Is a succulent, like a um? Is that like a cactus?
Speaker 1:not, no, it's uh just a very dense, heavy leafed kind of a plant that doesn't doesn't require you to take care of it I mean. Yet they thrive on neglect.
Speaker 2:Oh well, there's perfect here I should have them all over my house, right?
Speaker 1:you know, what's funny is my son who is the landscaper he told me that he was like he gave me some succulents. He was like, yeah, just stick them in the dirt. They thrive on neglect. I was like, what are you saying?
Speaker 2:but yeah, he's grown to love me and my level of neglect for my art. He just shakes his head.
Speaker 1:I was like. That reminds me there are some things that he, he, he walked me through before he left the country that I need to go over with you in regard to your art.
Speaker 2:So anyway, the wisteria no, no, no not even the wisteria he's so sweet can I just? Say it's like before he left to go to england he we had been talking about. I really really wanted one of those. I guess it's a wisteria or I don't know pergola on top of the garage, yeah I had the pergola done on the top of the garage, but I wanted one of those things that has the twisty vines that grows on yeah, with the purple hanging, yeah, clusters, and I'm so excited it was already starting to grow, yes, but he literally would, just went and got one and planted it and then said hey, by the way, I got your, I think it's wisteria, wisteria, it is yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't know if it's white flowers or purple. It doesn't really matter, it's going to be so cool, but I was just like, oh my gosh, that was the sweetest thing for him to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, just he listens yeah.
Speaker 2:And he tolerates my ignorance on all of the topics that have to do with the lawn or weeds or anything. I'm just like no, please will you just handle it.
Speaker 1:He loves your fake plants out front, yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, so anyways, no, no, I love my fake plants.
Speaker 1:I know they're.
Speaker 2:they're very colorful and festive and fall and they're dollar store Seasonal, festive and fall and their dollar store seasonal, okay, everybody out there.
Speaker 1:I do not have pink flamingos in my yard, like she doesn't want line bikes in her driveway, but she has dollar store flowers they look good though.
Speaker 2:So I have these two beautiful little white planters and I put like real flowers in them this summer and, of course, kind of forgot to water them and so, and I have, I have turf out there so I don't water anything right and so they died.
Speaker 2:And then they had those little spiky things that came out of the middle of them. Those died too. So I just took the spiky things and kind of wrapped them up in a circle, and then I got these dollar store color colorful things for the end of summer and just shoved them in the dirt there. Yes, from a distance they look fine, they're Well. Now I've got fall ones.
Speaker 1:I was like this is working so well that it's seasonal. You can change them seasonally, you don't have to worry about taking care of them. Those thrive on neglect too, I know. So there's yeah, there's an underlying theme here.
Speaker 2:They're perfect for my house guys that I am pointing at Harlow, these little guys, because they don't thrive on neglect.
Speaker 1:They thrive. They're very needy. Yes, very, very needy. Yeah, I know I wish I was a cat person, because they don't need definitely have a sense for belonging Her dogs do.
Speaker 2:They belong here. Yes, they do yes, and they feel like you know you belong because they, they accept you by completely covering your black clothes with, with little white hairs, little white hairs, yeah but anyway, I I just thought this was kind of a cool topic because so let's, let's go back. You woke up with a start. I will oh god, here I am, my adhd you woke up with a start.
Speaker 1:You text yourself the theme, a sense of belonging for an episode. Yeah, not sure why, I just like I think it's a good one I do too yeah, it's a good one as we, you know, we start.
Speaker 2:I started thinking about this because we were talking the other day about how I'd gone to this party. This then it made me.
Speaker 2:Maybe that's where it came from I don't know that could be and, uh, it was a halloween party and I'm really not a halloweeny girl, but I actually got a costume and and went to the afternoon Halloween party. I didn't know anybody there and I mean, except the people that were hosting it, and I don't give a shit. It was fine. It's like you know, I chit chatted with different people, I did it, but I didn't belong really with the group of people that were there. They all knew each other and had known each other for a long time, and they were all very gracious, but it wasn't my peeps you know, it wasn't like my people kind of a thing.
Speaker 2:So I didn't feel unwelcome or anything like that. But you know, you walk out of there you're like, oh okay, well, I guess I, you know I don't really belong per se in there. Not that they're not welcoming and everything, because they were. But I just started thinking about this topic because, whether it's me or whether it's someone else, it's like I think everybody has a need to belong to something, because if you don't, then you're isolated. You're isolated from all of the things that are going on around you, whether they're, you know, experiences like you know that I enjoy, or other people or events.
Speaker 2:You know, activities, things like that. If you don't make an effort to get involved in things like that, then you will not necessarily feel like you probably belong.
Speaker 1:Do you think that, of course, I'm going to bring technology into this. Do you think that people now are less motivated to make the effort to do those kinds of things that you were just talking about? Like you know, to go to the social gathering, to go to the event, to get, like you did, go to a party where you don't really know people because they can just get on their phone. And, of course, with social media and YouTube, yeah.
Speaker 1:And you can like shop. You can do all the things. You literally do not have to leave your couch, that you enjoy, that you resonate with, really just like in your bed and on your phone. You don't have to go anywhere. You can have your cup of coffee right there.
Speaker 2:I think that's very detrimental. Huge, I mean. I think it's great for Saturday morning when you want to have your cup of coffee, you know and chill and like not get out of bed, but completely understand what you're talking about.
Speaker 2:Because? So, in answer to your question, I think social media has perpetuated the problem. Yeah, because we do not have to get off of our couches, we do not have to really interact, and when you think about interaction with other people through text messaging or emailing or IMing or whatever, it's a very different that have less of a sense of belonging and therefore there's more of a need to fill that.
Speaker 2:My personal feeling on that is more likely it's younger people, because maybe they're on social media more or they are reliant upon a lot of the things that you know our generation has learned to live without. We have it now, but we know. We know the difference you know, between the two things.
Speaker 2:And when you feel lonesome, you feel, you know, on your own you feel lonely. It's like you have to kind of ask yourself why that is. Is it because I'm focusing too much on things where I'm not having that human interaction, or I'm not making an effort to get into different arenas where I'm going to maybe meet people that are like minded or have similar interests that I do, similar hobbies, you know whatever.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I think that it's probably something we've mastered a little bit better to some degree, just because we've had more experience with it and we didn't have the other things taking our attention.
Speaker 1:I mean, I feel like we I anyways tend to go down this pathway with technology on so many topics, but I'm sitting here thinking about the activities that would give somebody a sense of purpose, things that you can engage in, you know, to get that, that connection, and I'm thinking about going it's like all the things that I just said that you don't have to leave your home to do anymore. You don't even have to leave to go to church anymore. You can watch the service online. That's what I mean. I think the pandemic was so pivotal in so much that has transpired over the last four years.
Speaker 2:Well, those things like you're talking about in order to give people the access to things that they would normally be in person for it's created this environment where now it's optional to be in person. It's just like like I was on a meet, I did a meeting today or training today at work, and all of the meetings and trainings. Now that we have you have the option of being on zoom or the option to be in person, and I was going to actually go out to the meeting today and physically participate, but I ended up staying in my office because I was working on some other stuff and just pulled it up on zoom and watched it from there yeah and that's not something we ever would have done before, right, and now we're doing that because it's an option for people, so it is definitely more convenient, in my opinion.
Speaker 2:I don't know that you get as much out of it as you do maybe from being in person, but I mean, that's how I learned to, you know, having my attention not be divided in other places so.
Speaker 2:I had to turn off everything else just so I could pay attention and not get distracted, yeah. But yeah, I think that we have more distractions, for sure, than we did before. And you know, the whole idea of having a sense of belonging, I think really starts with the acceptance of yourself, you know, and knowing what you kind of bring to the table with whatever, in whatever capacity you have to know that.
Speaker 1:I mean that honestly, is something really that I have learned just over the last 10 to 12 years.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 1:Oh well, since you got divorced.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's a correlation. I mean. I mean I don't know if that's the correlation, but I'm like that's the time frame, because I think you do you.
Speaker 1:You can lose yourself in so many things, and so I had to be very intentional about who I was right where I was going, what things I wanted, what I identified with, who people identified me as, and really forming that person through all the things that were going on in my life, that person being me.
Speaker 2:Do you feel like you had put all of those things kind of on hold, or like you were in a holding pattern because you were raising kids and trying to keep your head above water?
Speaker 1:There's that, and that's who I was at that time, right. And so there's, you know, no regret there, or it was what it was. That's who I was at that time, and so there's, you know, no regret there, or it was what it was, that's who I was at that time, and it's just that. I think it's important that, as you go, you have to know some of the things that carry you through, so that and I would imagine that even people that they're married, they raise families and then they get to this point where, okay, we're moving on now and where do I belong? I'm not this person anymore shuffling kids and helping them make decisions and all of that stuff that we do, and I'm not doing that anymore. So where do I fit in? You know what?
Speaker 2:things do I like you bring? You bring a really interesting point as I'm thinking about this because we do invest and and every woman and man out there listening to this can identify with this.
Speaker 2:We, and some more than others you know, if they put their career on hold or they were home, you know, taking care of kids or whatever that they they. I was working full time. Yeah, three kids travel a whole bit and I completely lost myself. I feel like I lost myself because I didn't. I was just trying to keep my head above water a lot of the time you know, trying to be successful at what I was doing, but at what cost?
Speaker 2:because I belonged where I was, but I also belonged over here and it's like you sometimes will give more latitude to the things you don't get as much forgiveness on, and then your family will you know they'll forgive you, you know at least the lot logically.
Speaker 2:I think that's what I probably was thinking about the intense amount of hours that I spent on different things and stuff but I think finding yourself, or knowing who you are, is going to be really important for all of this. You know, so you know what you are walking into and where you want to belong.
Speaker 2:Yeah because you may not know, I mean, even I can think of a period of time where I was I'm trying to think of like Jared was around 10, I think 9, 10, 11, maybe I was. I just felt like lost spiritually, completely trying to figure out what that looked like and where it was. And was it at my church that I was going to? Was it a different type of church? I was craving churches that had, or going to services and things that had, gospel music you know more it was more lively you know it was more, I don't know, not as structured, maybe as what I was accustomed to and I didn't really care Very conservative.
Speaker 1:Same same in the Mormon church.
Speaker 3:I'm sure, if you were Catholic. How many hymns are you going to sing? Yeah, hymns, very conservative, very yeah reverence, so not me you know.
Speaker 2:And so, in an effort to try to find that, I can recall going one Easter Sunday actually it was just Jared and I, and I don't Brian, I think, was working and Jared or Andrew was at school and I don't know where Zoe was, but I remember going to this church where they had a band and they had a latte stand in the in the um vestibule area isn't that funny.
Speaker 2:It's so different than than what oh my gosh, you would never, I know ever, bring a latte in church, at Catholic church especially not a Mormon church and definitely not a Mormon church.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I didn't get a latte. I probably should have. I probably had one on the way there as my guest but I remember some of the things that were being said and it was it was a four square or something like a non-denominational. Christian church and going. I don't know if this is where I want to be. You know kind of a thing. But I tried. Yeah, I was making an effort to try to figure it out and you know, as time has evolved, I look at it totally different now too.
Speaker 2:So it's funny how you think one way and then you know, with more experiences and things that come up, you kind of look at it another way. But that is a that's a significant memory that I have about trying to figure out where I belonged.
Speaker 1:That's interesting, I did. I did that Probably, probably about seven years ago.
Speaker 2:Where'd you go?
Speaker 1:Seven or eight years ago, same type of thing. That's so funny because, as you're saying it, yeah, it was a Christian, like four square type. Same thing. They had lattes. But I think it's so different from what I grew up and you know what is cultivated in me that it makes it hard to be open to a lot of the things that they do there. So, anyways, in regard to religion, that's a whole other thing.
Speaker 2:But again, the sense of belonging. And then going back to social media and, frankly, everything that you see, you know, with the artists that are out there, or the styles and fashions and things that are happening, these young girls in particular I think of women, just because I, you know, obviously we can identify with that, but they are making every effort to emulate the things that they're seeing because they want to fit in Influence.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean truly the name of what's out.
Speaker 2:there is the influencers, yeah, and so that's you know. And so I ask myself it's like not me personally, because I think obviously as an adult now I can decipher these things a little bit more clearly. But as you're kind of trying to figure yourself out, you know you have to ask yourself whatever it is that you're trying to get involved in, whether it's a sports team or I was thinking about colleges, fraternities and sororities you've got your brotherhoods and your sisterhoods, or moving into a new community.
Speaker 1:Fraternities are something else, man, I know they really, I mean. I've never been in one, obviously, obviously no, but, and I bet sororities, I guess, because I've been, you know, rick is, he was in a fraternity when he was in a college and his daughters now are involved in sororities and the um, just like you were saying, the brotherhood, the sisterhood, that is really lifelong lasting.
Speaker 2:Well, you were just talking about brotherhood and sisterhood rick and he's 60 now. Yes, and he is. He's very close with his frat brothers.
Speaker 1:A lot. Yes, it's actually very cool. I've never really had experience with that until just what I see with him, and yeah, it's it's pretty cool.
Speaker 2:It's like Andrew was in a fraternity, and I mean his some. He has like one really close friend from high school and all the rest of them are his buddies from college that he's he's been in a fraternity with. They're all his frat brothers yeah and you know he's not, he's not super involved in the frat anymore, but I mean as different generations and things come up it's like you kind of see, you know where those people are interacting with each other or there's lots of contacts that you can make for different purposes right jobs.
Speaker 3:I mean it's, it's just a whole network, it is it is, but people are dying to be involved yeah, with these things, and there's young girls that I mean.
Speaker 2:I can think of one sorority that was in eastern washington. This is going back, you know a few years, but you know these. They just do. They were doing really awful things, you know to to initiate people and there's that too well but then these, these people, these girls, guys, whatever it's like, they're participating, even though they are kind of like whoa yeah you know?
Speaker 2:I mean, one of them was these girls were put up on like a dryer that was going, and wherever their fat would shake on their legs they were getting circled with a sharp. Yeah, that kind of shit that's hazing. I mean, that's a little bit different, but right, but they go. They go along with it because you know they want to be a part of what's going on. Yeah, so you have to really ask yourself it's like is what I see here? Morally am I comfortable with it.
Speaker 3:You know, are these?
Speaker 2:is this something that's impacting my values? Am I going to look at things differently by being a part of what's going on here, and are these people that I really want to be a part of?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, whatever the capacity is.
Speaker 1:It's interesting, as you're talking about some of these things, because you know earlier on, I think there's more that you know when we're younger we would tend to let go or be okay with, even though maybe we're really not so that we do have that sense of belonging with whatever it is that we're trying to accomplish.
Speaker 1:You know, and now that need to belong, it doesn't go away in certain things, but it's different. But it's different and and you can, I can pretty much tell after spending time with somebody pretty quickly if it's, if it's something that I want to continue or to have in my life, and it's easier to make decisions and be intentional about the past that you're taking and what you're bringing into your sphere.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I mean, I think, as an adult too, it's like we look at it, like you said a little bit differently. There's things that when I was 18, 19 years old, I might do it very differently than I would do now.
Speaker 1:But, that's.
Speaker 2:That's because I've made, you know, I've had to make choices about things and you make some choices.
Speaker 1:that you make will affect the rest of your life and how you look at stuff, though, is there are those adults.
Speaker 2:that is like nothing but drama, man Well a lot of those people have a really a really deep seated need to be liked and accepted. And so they might deviate from what they're comfortable with, because that's more important. Yeah, and I do see that in adults.
Speaker 3:I see that in women.
Speaker 2:Yeah, in the dating world you definitely see that a lot you know with people and just them, kind of adjusting how they look at things and what they'll tolerate and everything. Because relationships and things are part of feeling like you belong and you know, having those deep seated relationships whether it's friendships or, you know, romantic relationships or whatever are really, they're important part of feeling like you belong.
Speaker 1:You know you have to make an effort. If you're feeling lonely or you know like there's some kind of lack in your life, you definitely have to make an effort, whatever that looks like. Yeah Cause nobody's going to do it for you. Yeah, cause nobody's going to do it for you. So these, these are the things you have to do for yourself.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And there's, I think, patience that has to go along with that at the same time, because nothing's going to happen immediately. It's interesting because I've been, I go to the gym, right, and it's not because I have this need to belong into that atmosphere. You don't want to be with all the gym bros, definitely not. Fear, you don't want to be with all the gym bros, definitely not. So you know, I did just recently. I ran into this gal who I'd seen in the sauna before, and then we, just the other night, we ended up chatting so many things in common and it was just I. We exchanged numbers. Oh, that's awesome, yeah, so just different things, like that.
Speaker 1:A lot of things in common outside of the fact that we obviously were both in the sauna and love that, but you definitely have to make that effort. You have to strike up a conversation.
Speaker 2:Well, and some people just are not comfortable with that, so maybe start small or it could be at work. You know it's like you want to feel like you fit in or that you belong, but to what end? You know, what are you going to do to make that happen?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Or you know you've got people that are, you know, younger, making really bad decisions because they want to be a part of a group. It might be it might be having sex without really knowing all the ramifications, or it could be, you know, doing drugs yeah. I knowing all the ramifications or it could be you know doing drugs. I mean you see kids doing drugs, that they're. You know that peer pressure and things they want to be long and they'll do something because, even though they're not necessarily comfortable, I mean if you have a sense of self.
Speaker 2:I think now, like nowadays, it's like if someone came up to me at a function or something said, hey, do you want to drop acid? I'd look at him and say are you, are you what?
Speaker 1:Are you smoking crack?
Speaker 2:That's what I was going to say, of course, I mean I. I'm at a place in my life where I'd look at them and go why, what? What are you even doing?
Speaker 3:Why are?
Speaker 2:you asking me that what you know I mean, that's how I would respond. I would probably respond that way regardless, I would imagine. But um, what if they said you want to take a hit on my pen? I'd say I don't want your germs and I have to drive, so no pen action today.
Speaker 1:I think, to the woman, those situations and you know, our networking and socializing something to be mindful of is focusing on similarities within groups of people and not focusing on differences. I think that is something that can be helpful and, leaving judgment, I think out of stuff.
Speaker 2:I mean honestly, that's really hard to do. It is. It can be Well, like we were recording with someone last night. We were doing an episode last night. We were chatting afterward and she was telling us about something she saw on TikTok, about this family that had six kids and they lived in a one bedroom apartment. Do you remember that? Oh, we were talking about it last night.
Speaker 2:Anyway, maybe you were gone and I was like. My first thought was is she telling you about birth control? That was my first thought. It's like you have six kids, you live in a one bedroom apartment. You're under 30. Okay, that was super judgy of me. Yes, and very, very judgy.
Speaker 3:And I get that. That was judgy.
Speaker 2:But all I can think about is oh my god, that poor woman. It's like not only her, Because that's not something that you would do.
Speaker 1:Exactly. I had a very good friend who they had eight children and they lived in a two bedroom townhome. Might've been three, four, I think it was maybe three, four. They had four kids in each bedroom and then them in that I know, yeah, I know Not something that I would do, no, but they were happy. I mean really they were they were happy Seemingly. You know got along fine, and yeah, who am I?
Speaker 2:to judge Right, that's the whole thing. Live and let live.
Speaker 1:Live and let live, live and let live. Yeah, focus on the similarities not the differences.
Speaker 2:Well, ok, we could smoke. We could smoke, we could focus, focus, focus, focus on similarities. Let's talk about. Let's talk about politics for like two seconds, OK, because we have an election coming up here.
Speaker 1:Yes, we do. It'll probably have come and gone by the time these people are hearing this.
Speaker 2:No, because we're going to drop this episode on sunday and the uh elections on tuesday. Yeah, okay, so we don't know what the outcome is. Well, I know what the outcome is going to be but we don't hell.
Speaker 1:Yes, do you? Yes, are you sure? Yes, I don't think we know I think we know I don't think we know we I know I wish we knew I don't think that we do I'm just gonna, I'm sticking with what I know needles, yeah
Speaker 2:yeah, okay. Well, let's just say that I'm right, because this is one time when I'm gonna be right. I'm not right a lot, but I'm right this time. Um, there's a lot of people who have a sense of belonging when it comes to politics. Right, whatever side you're on, whatever belief system you have, you're looking and seeking like minded people. During a time like this one is kind of divisive. Yeah, there are a lot of really naughty, nasty things being said back and forth. There's just it just feels really gross and ugly, but there's a lot of people who, if they're like minded, it's kind of nice to be around people that think the same way you do. Sure, and not that I'm opposed to you know people that think differently than me, but I really don't want to talk to them right now. I'll talk to them another time. No, because I just like what's the point at this point? What's the point?
Speaker 1:You know I mean I don't, I don't really like get to brought into or choose to participate in conversations of politics.
Speaker 3:We talk about stuff we do yeah.
Speaker 1:But like at work or and there's not. You know what I mean. I just like, I just silently observe yeah, well, that, yes you.
Speaker 2:I really truly understand what you're saying because, even on social media and things like that. I mean, I don't really.
Speaker 1:I don't know, I do not feel the need to participate in and I silence all these people that are sending me these, these.
Speaker 2:They're not sending them to me directly, but posting things that I'm like, really, you know, I'm just like I don't need to see this crap.
Speaker 1:I do feel the need to participate in going potty right now, because Julie made me have a drink before we got started on this episode and now I have to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 2:Well, you need help. No, Okay, we'll go ahead. I'll. No, okay, we'll go ahead. I'll wait for you. Okay, we'll come back and do a proper, proper send-off. So I could always narrate michelle's getting up and now she's heading over to the restroom in her leather skirt she's. She's got a hamburger with that shake, all right yes, I rarely do.
Speaker 1:I choose to participate in uh politically uh charged conversations, so I think that's, I think that's kind of a smart thing. I mean, around here it's not as big of a deal just because the next episode that drops, we will have be having a different, a totally different conversation, depending on what the outcome is.
Speaker 2:I think that's going to be our next episode.
Speaker 1:You think yes, yeah, no, I don't know.
Speaker 2:Whatever. So I guess, to wrap all of this up, you know, in thinking about belonging, you know there's a few things that you can really do. Michelle had mentioned about making an effort. Making an effort, if you really want to belong to some, something or a group or someone or a cause or whatever, you have to be the one to kind of put your big toe in the water and make an effort to be involved and you might be around people who are very passionate about stuff that they want.
Speaker 2:People who are passionate so, you got to ask a lot of questions and, you know, participate if you, if you feel like it's your deal, and being patient not only with yourself, but being patient with the process. You know, because it takes time to get to know people. It takes time to develop connections and contacts and finding your tribe, if you will, people that have similar interests, like like-mindedness, things that bring you joy you know, being around, people that bring you joy, and then, as you had also mentioned, really focusing maybe more on similarities versus differences.
Speaker 2:It's very, very easy to focus on differences and, whether we like it or not, it's like we all judge, we all look and compare. You know, what do you think we've been talking about with social media?
Speaker 3:and all the things.
Speaker 2:It's like we don't see anything on there. That's like not good, right? People don't post shit. That's not good. They only post the good stuff, except if you're p diddy. You're totally all over there yeah yeah now there's someone who. There's an area where people have been conforming it's like what do you mean? Well, think about it. It's like yeah, and we'll probably talk about a sense of belonging, sense of belonging it's like that white party, the white party, or his freak, freak, freak-offs, freak-offs or whatever.
Speaker 2:But here's the deal. It's like, of course I've been paying attention to this, but people like Denzel Washington or 50 Cent Denzel, who I happen to adore, by the way they just are like I'm not even being a part of this.
Speaker 3:I'm out of here.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, and they're just like no Beyonce and Jay-Z on the other hand, and why would.
Speaker 1:Why would Kamala partner up with her in the midst of the whole P Diddy thing? Can we just talk about that?
Speaker 2:I just could not believe that she had her in Houston with her.
Speaker 1:I'm, I just yeah. I just don't know that that was a smart move, a smart move.
Speaker 2:I would have probably stayed away from anybody that was in the music business during that time frame. I would think that you would, and she has lots of options there's so many people that support her. So I don't know. I saw that too and I was like, oh, that's probably not the best look, but bad form, bad form, bad form. But hey, maybe all those celebrities will vote for her then, right, well, on that note.
Speaker 1:On that note, we'll just choose to exit stage left with a reminder that you can find us out on the socials. We want to thank you for the downloads. We've been getting lots of them lately, just keep doing that.
Speaker 2:Like us, follow us and do share and do share because we want to belong in your heart, in your podcast community. In your podcast community. Have a good one, everybody. Chat with you next week. Bye, bye.