Season 2 episode 97: Was this dad an asshole?

Have you ever found yourself stranded in a snowstorm, wrestling with car chains, and wondering if the holidays are more hassle than joy? Join us as we, Michele and Julee, crack open a couple of cold ones and laugh our way through the holiday hustle. We swap stories about our not-so-graceful encounters with snowy mountain passes, swapping tales of holiday decorations, and the unexpected charm of a treehouse Airbnb. Our conversation spins a humorous web, balancing the chaos and warmth the festive season brings, making it clear that even the most challenging travel stories have a silver lining of adventure and laughter.

On a more serious note, family gatherings often bring about the age-old question: how do we handle political disagreements? Especially when those disagreements come from our nearest and dearest? In this thoughtful segment, we explore the intricate dynamics of family relationships, particularly when differing political views come into play. We discuss the challenges of respecting our adult children's choices—even when they clash with our own values—and the complexities of parenting as the kids grow up. From discussing lifestyle choices to political debates, we invite you to reflect on the balance between independence and influence in family relationships.

Are you ready to take your "spiciness" to the next level?! 

Connect with Julee & Michele on Instagram @spicy_midlife_women and send a DM about what resonated most during this episode so they can encourage you with steps forward in your own life. 

Transcript

Podcast Banter About Camping and Travel

Speaker 1 0:28

Hey everybody. This is Michelle and this is Julie. Welcome to a blonde, a brunette and a mic podcast. What is our podcast all about, you ask?

Speaker 2 0:40

Well, we're 250 something.

Speaker 1 0:42

Women with life experience and oh bloody to say, which is exactly what we're gonna do right now. Hey Shelly, hey Jules, how are you over there on the couch? I am fantastic. I'm just kind of kicked back. I got my feet up.

Speaker 2 0:58

I I got a stella. She's drinking a beer, I got a stella between my legs. It's one of the long necks. It's sticking straight up though, oh, might have a little boner.

Speaker 1 1:10

Estella Artois yeah.

Speaker 2 1:14

It's bougie beer. Yeah, I like it because it's lighter, mm-hmm.

Speaker 1 1:18

Yeah.

Speaker 2 1:18

Yeah. So hey, we've had a busy week, have we? Well, we know it's going to be going into the holidays. Well, there's that. You don't know that you had a busy week. I mean the week, Remember you went from home, all you had a busy week I mean the week was busy.

Speaker 1 1:33

And yes, we are headed into the week of Thanksgiving, which I can't even believe it because I'm pretty sure we just had Easter.

Speaker 2 1:43

I. You know it's so cliche we actually did an episode on how time flies, but it is true.

Speaker 1 1:49

I mean, I'm really noticing it. Time flies.

Speaker 2 1:52

I'm like gosh, it's, it's already, you know, november and we're getting into, and it's only four weeks for from November, from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Yeah, I have a friend, the girl that does my hair. She, she literally has decorations for every single holiday to like to the point where you're going. Wow, where do you store?

Speaker 1 2:10

all this stuff. I don't do it. I know I don't do. At Christmas, that's the only one I decorate for, well, her whole studio.

Speaker 2 2:16

You know everything where she, her studio, is set up and it is decked to the nines.

Speaker 1 2:22

Really.

Speaker 2 2:22

Yeah, I mean I, I literally will maybe get something up on the mantle and I'll get a tree up and I'm done.

Speaker 1 2:28

You're better than me.

Speaker 2 2:33

You got, you got Thanksgiving stuff on your door, on your step and on your, your mantle. Here I mean, I've, I've tailored this down over the years.

Speaker 1 2:37

To be literally, I would wrap the pictures, the only leaves I have in my place are the ones that get dragged in on my shoes well, these are not real leaves.

Speaker 2 2:48

You know, do you, are you planning, planning on doing like a dinner thingy or anything for Thanksgiving?

Speaker 1 2:55

It's kind of up in the air. Yeah, I would like to travel across the pass and go be with my mom and some other family members over there and, uh, I I actually think that that's what I'm planning on.

Speaker 2 3:10

So we're just going to hope for that. You're not getting new tires until after that.

Speaker 1 3:14

Yeah, and you know my tires, they're not crap or anything and they'll be fine, it'll be fine. You have all-wheel drive. I do have all-wheel drive. My tires have like 65,000 miles on them so I'm due. That's a lot of miles on tires.

Speaker 2 3:30

I know They've been great tires and she doesn't have chains.

Speaker 1 3:36

I asked her about this and she doesn't have chains. I have driven over the pass in the snow. When I lived in Spokane three years ago Plenty of snow, I didn't need chains, Although I have heard and I don't know, maybe you can validate this that you can go buy chains at Les Schwab and if you don't use them, you can just bring them back.

Speaker 2 3:54

You probably could get them at Walmart. I mean, you can get them anywhere, right? Well, probably, maybe you should put them in your trunk, I mean, I mean just saying, I mean just in case I wouldn't even know how to put them on. Well then, she's going to bat her little eyelashes and some trucker is going to come by and see her little blonde head and go. Oh, let me help her. Yeah, I wouldn't even know how to put them on the damsel in distress, so yeah, is that being toxically feminine?

Speaker 2 4:20

it kind of is, but honestly I'm okay with it because it's cold. There's those moments there's times when it's okay to be toxically feminine, like when you're camping because someone's got to do everything for you. Oh, and there has to be. Why are we camping?

Speaker 1 4:33

because someone's got to do everything for you. Oh, and there has to be. Why are we camping?

Speaker 2 4:35

Well, because you're just want to be, you want to go along with and be supportive.

Speaker 1 4:39

I stayed in a tree house. Yes, yes, you did. Speaking of camping, it was kind of.

Speaker 2 4:45

Was it like glamping, was it?

Speaker 1 4:46

cold? No, it wasn't cold, so it was a very cool tree house, though, and it's only 200 square feet. You literally walk in. It's this little house that was built between these three giant trees. How far off the ground, I don't know.

Speaker 2 5:05

Can you give me a?

Speaker 1 5:06

ballpark? I really don't.

Speaker 2 5:07

I have no clue as tall as you oh no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 5:11

It's like up there, but how you get to it? It's not like you have to climb a ladder to get up to it or anything like that. It's the grounds around it are beautiful, there's fire pits and barbecues.

Speaker 2 5:23

There's. You know, the grounds are lovely. It sounds like a really really fun place, yeah.

Speaker 1 5:26

So it was very, very cool. If you have the chance, to experience something like that.

Speaker 2 5:36

I would highly recommend it. You know, over in Woodinville you can PM Michelle, she'll give you the info. It was an Airbnb.

Speaker 1 5:39

Yeah, it was an Airbnb closer to Redmond, but yeah, so that was a fun experience. Sorry, I totally interrupted, but yeah, being toxically feminine and needing help camping is where you were talking about, and it made me think of the tree house, so that's just me being toxically feminine. And.

Speaker 2 5:56

I'm, and I mean I will just tell you it's like I'll go, I like. I like sitting around the campfire, I like doing all that but I don't want to be sleeping where bugs are. And I don't want to be on the ground. I mean me neither. There has to be a bathroom, I'm not gonna go to the bathroom in the bushes.

Speaker 1 6:12

I'm just not doing that and I need to have a place for a shower but will you yes, no, will you like go to the bathroom outside somewhere if you have to?

Speaker 2 6:22

I mean like if I was stranded? If I was stranded up in the mountains or something like like when you're on a long car trip.

Speaker 1 6:28

Have you ever like pulled over and just like?

Speaker 2 6:31

really no, I'm no michelle, that's the last time I peed in the bushes, I think I was a freshman in high school and I'd probably been drinking okay well, it's I.

Speaker 1 6:42

I don't think it's that with my crazy friends, just so you know it's.

Speaker 2 6:47

It's like yeah, well, I, I was actually downtown, um, going to an event at the key, walking by this is a couple weeks ago walking by and there's a guy he was going to the event. I'm like thinking he's a homeless guy. Yeah, yeah, he's. He's peeing. Next he's like right on the street peeing, right next to the.

Speaker 1 7:06

I was with you. It's where we went to Usher yeah. That's what we went to, usher yeah yeah, that's what we went to usher.

Speaker 2 7:14

Yeah, yeah, I was like dude, what are you doing? I almost stopped and went.

Speaker 1 7:16

Really do you need something to wipe with I? Mean come on yeah, I know that was. I mean there's a time and a place, but I mean I have what do? You have to poop.

Speaker 2 7:23

Well, I've never done that, okay but you know, peeing is a different thing, that is a different thing but for us.

Speaker 1 7:30

But I'm just saying you just like, you just like, lean up against the side of your car and you know, spread your legs and you're good, it gets everything on. Wouldn't that get on your car? No, you're sitting, you're sitting, it's like oh, you're like doing a wall sit you're just like sitting but there's no toilet beneath you and you just like you know, kind of like doing a squat, yeah, and it's not like you have to like run off into the bushes or anything.

Speaker 2 7:52

You could do like a sumo squat, while you're sumo squat, you know, while you're, while you're taking a leak I mean let's, I don't know. I think only guys take a leak. I don't know, girls take a leak too. I suppose dripping dry is not an option it just doesn't work.

Speaker 1 8:08

Have to be no, because it's like you just shake it like this shake it, don't break it.

Speaker 2 8:14

Took your mom nine months to make it and guys just take their wiener and go shake it off and they're done oh my goodness, I remember when, when jared was little it's like of course it wasn't jared or andrew. I didn't have never had a little boy. It must have been andrew so, and he must have been like three learning how well he was learning how to pee or whatever, so he must be younger and I gave him some toilet paper. He just kind of looked at me like what are you doing?

Speaker 2 8:43

like he figured it out before then. Yeah, maybe dad needs to teach you how to pee, not mom, you know anyway. So that's all that's really been going on around here, but I I uh well, I the car. So we did do the car.

Speaker 1 8:57

I got a new car oh yes, you did, I forgot to tell you about that.

Speaker 2 9:00

That has been pretty sweet, so I used to have this small um really really cute. We won't talk about the fact that you already misplaced your keys one time, okay we're just gonna establish that I was putting things in the back of the car I was organizing and they were in my pocket. Yes, all good, but I only have one of those fobby things, and so I had to order another fob, and so I'm not gonna get it till next week. So I was a little panicked but it is a silver sweet ride.

Speaker 2 9:29

It's really really cool. Yeah, and it's bigger, so I can put a lot more stuff in it, as you need to. Yeah, yeah, so, and it's, and it has a four wheel drive Because it's an SUV.

Speaker 1 9:40

Yeah.

Speaker 2 9:40

So I'm not gonna be afraid. The other car I couldn't even drive. Yeah, you know when it was, when it was slippery or wet or whatever outside. I I wouldn't even try this one. I might try, but I don't want to like run into anything, so I might not, it's still kind of a mental thing, even when you got four wheel.

Speaker 1 9:55

When I first got my car I'd never had all wheel drive. I remember the first real snow. We got isaac's like, hey, mom, you want to feel like taking your car out for a spin? You know, see how it does in the snow? And I really didn't want to, you know, because you just don't know. So you have to go to a parking lot for that. But it was fantastic in that snow, did he?

Speaker 2 10:16

twirl around in the parking lot Like.

Speaker 1 10:19

we were just in the side streets, though, and yeah it was fantastic, I was surprised. So yeah, it makes you feel good.

Speaker 2 10:27

I'm the white knuckle driver, it will not matter, I don't, I don't like that stuff.

Speaker 1 10:33

I get really anxious. I do too.

Speaker 2 10:34

I mean, I do too, but okay so we ran across this TikTok video that we wanted to just touch on.

Speaker 1 10:43

Yeah.

Speaker 2 10:44

And I'll let Michelle, because she did she. She explained it really well when we were talking about it earlier.

Speaker 1 10:49

Well, julie is the one actually that that found this and she sent it to me and she asked me for my thoughts, and I was like I think this guy is, it could be a good topic to talk about. But I think this guy, honestly, is obviously leans to the left, definitely a Democrat, liberal, and he's got two sons, and 20 years old and 23, something like that. So one's still in college, one's out of college, still living at home, though out of college, still living at home, though, and he was talking about how they had been out to dinner and decides to ask the boys who they voted for so obviously he didn't know to this point election's over and he asks his youngest son so tell me who did you vote for, Assuming that he was going to say duh.

Speaker 1 11:54

Sure, and he said he voted for Trump. And so then the dad asked the older one who he voted for. Well, he voted for Trump too, right? So this, this guy, this dad, just can't even believe what he's hearing, that how could his sons have voted for Trump after the way that they've been raised and you know?

Speaker 1 12:18

all the entitlement, all the privilege that he has been able to afford them working. He worked two jobs to pay for their tuition, so they didn't have to take out any student loans. You know all the things. Blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2 12:30

He's sitting there, you know talking about all the things, blah blah blah. He's sitting there, you know, talking about all the stuff. Took it like a personal affront, personal Totally.

Parental Punishment Over Political Differences

Speaker 1 12:37

So, you know, as I'm, as I was listening to it I don't know about Julie, but as I was listening to this guy so well, all right, sorry, let me. Let me step back for a second, because he made the decision to kind of teach them a lesson, or, you know, let them experience some of what they're going to be living, I guess, is how he put it over the next four years, with with Trump being president, because the reasons for voting for him seemed more so to do with the economy and economic things, Right? So he decided to cut them off financially. You know, he's having them pay for rent and paying for their I suppose maybe their cars, whatever, their phone bills, their insurance, whatever they had, so they hadn't been paying for this stuff.

Speaker 1 13:26

Obviously they hadn't been paying for this stuff. So he decided well, they can buck up now and you know, if they're excited about the economy under Trump and everything else, they're going to be able to live some of these things and experience some of the benefits that they're supposedly going to be getting right. And the mom thought he was being a little too harsh. Some of the you know it was pretty divided friends. Some of them thought, yeah, great, that's great what you're doing, really teaching them a lesson. Some of them were, like you know, pretty divided. But you know, for me personally, okay, great. You know, you didn't want them to vote for Trump. You thought that you raised them in a way that it would be a no brainer that they would vote the same as you. But I had to question if he did such a great job and thinking that there was no doubt, why would he have asked them in the first place who they voted for?

Speaker 2 14:21

Right. I'm wondering if he was just like. It was like just maybe a point of conversation, because he thought he knew the answer. I mean, it's obviously a hotspot here oh my God.

Speaker 1 14:32

Right, if you watch this video, obviously a hotspot, so I don't know. I mean, he did talk about how it was. You know part of dinner conversations prior, so it could have been. But I would think too, though, that you know this would have come up prior to this moment, prior to the election, well, who are you voting for? And maybe the kids told him what he wanted to hear. I don't know, but he obviously didn't know. So, post election, well, who'd you vote for? And you know. So he's being punitive now.

Speaker 1 15:03

Yeah, punitive after the fact. Yep, and he's just like you know, I don't think that's a good way to parent.

Speaker 2 15:09

So that's that's really the question you know that we wanted to pose to the audience. I would love to get people's feedback on this because it is bearing to some degree. Like you were saying, I was in the right for how he chose to quote teach his kids a lesson. Or do you feel like these kids were so entitled that maybe they needed to be taught a lesson? You know, based on the things that he has been shared, what I have a hard time with is the fact that he has a very strong opinion about the way things are and if you don't agree with him, then he's going to punish you. I mean, that's really what it kind of boiled down to. And you don't agree with him, then he's going to punish you.

Speaker 2 15:45

I mean, that's really what it kind of boiled down to. And you know we had talked before about this because you know the election politics in general has been so divisive over the last several years. But this last election obviously was a unique thing, just the way everything kind of unfolded. And I mentioned to you before it's like that. You know, my oldest, andrew, has moved from Seattle. He used to be very progressive in his thought process and as he's gotten a little bit older he's really focusing, I think, more on the financial aspects of things and not the quality of the individual, which kind of bothered really, I shouldn't say kind of bothers me, it really bothers me. Which kind of bothered really, I shouldn't say kind of bothers me, it really bothers me. But he's a grown man and we have had very good conversations about some of these things and we 100% do not agree with each other.

Speaker 1 16:35

You agree?

Speaker 2 16:35

to disagree. We have to agree to disagree. And the funny thing is his fiance, she doesn't agree with him either. Yeah, and so she's just like done. She doesn't want to talk about it anymore, because he likes to throw out little things and kind of start you know, creating little stirs here and there. But if I were behaving how that father?

Speaker 1 16:55

is behaving.

Speaker 2 16:56

We've got a wedding coming up here. Let's use that as an example. I could say you know, screw you, you guys are going to behave that way and vote that way. You know, screw you, you guys are going to behave that way and vote that way. You know, I'm not going to be contributing to your wedding, I'm not going to help you at all. I mean, how awful would that be. Yeah, and is that because they're not like, basically like he's not being my clone, right? You know, thinking the way that I do, that I am going to treat him that way or treat him differently.

Speaker 1 17:21

Yeah.

Speaker 2 17:21

And I just think that's wrong.

Speaker 1 17:23

Well, that's, that's what we do as parents, but you raise your kids to be individual, independent thinkers.

Speaker 2 17:29

Exactly that's what you want to do.

Speaker 1 17:31

That's what you should want to be doing Absolutely so that they are, you know, prepared and can feel good about, and feel passionate about, their own causes and things that you know they want to believe in, and pursue.

Speaker 2 17:49

The issue with these, I think, is that they were really voting with her pocketbook and I don't know how, how educated they were on the different topics that were there. I don't know the answer to that, but the responses they gave all were all related to things that had to do with money. So the economy and stuff like that. But regardless, they didn't agree. And so audience, what do you think? Do you feel like this man acted inappropriately? If you were a parent and you had that circumstance, what would you do?

Speaker 1 18:18

Yeah.

Speaker 2 18:19

And I think I know what I would do, because we kind of talked about that a little bit. You have a child, he's not a child. He's not a child, he's a grown ass man, but he's, he's just finished up with college. You've got this, a similar situation going on. But you, what, if? What? If Isaac had voted for Trump, would you be kicking?

Speaker 1 18:35

him out. I mean, here's the thing, and I was telling you this earlier I didn't even ask Isaac who he voted for. I know he voted, but I didn't ask him who he voted for. It's really none of my business.

Speaker 2 18:49

Well, if it's a topic of conversation, then and there's nothing that I mean. Some people are very private about that sort of thing. I don't really know why, but they are. My dad was like that.

Speaker 2 18:59

He would not speak about anything. He said it was nobody's business but his own, which I think you know. How you view politics is kind of how you model a lot of your life. People people are probably going to know what your thought process is on financial circumstances or on social issues. I would think you know it's like I, but I kind of don't think so Well with my dad. I didn't know, right, yeah. So I mean I say that, but it's like you're kind of don't think so well with my dad. I didn't know, right, yeah. So I mean I say that, but it's like you're not really talking about it. It's kind of how you live your life, right, but, um, we never had conversations about anything political.

Parenting Boundaries and Adult Choices

Speaker 2 19:34

I just know that that was something that he just would never, ever talk about yeah but I know, growing up and or not growing up, but living, you know, for many years with someone who was definite Republican, I just kind of kept my mouth shut, yeah, because there was no point in having a conversation about something that we were just never going to agree on Right and, frankly, I think he was much more educated on some of the topics than I was at the time.

Speaker 2 19:57

So now I feel like I could have a very, very in-depth conversation about a lot of these things, whereas before a lot of it was just how I felt about stuff.

Speaker 1 20:05

Yeah.

Speaker 2 20:06

You know. So, anyway, that was the thing that we were talking about today. Just going, damn, you know it's like we have kids that are around those ages and you know there's a lot of people out there that have kids that are coming up on those ages, coming up on the voting ages, and it's not even just about voting. I think it's more about parenting.

Speaker 1 20:29

Parenting in general, and there's a lot of different scenarios that could go the same outside of politics and you know, I don't know that there's. There's just questions that you, I think, don't ask your adult children because you hope that you raise them to make responsible decisions and choices. And there's things, you know, there are some things in my mind that at times I'm like I wonder if or I wonder about, and you don't feel like you could ask them, but certain it depends.

Speaker 1 21:01

I'm just, this is very general and I'm not thinking of anything specific. I think if I, if there was something that I wanted to ask them, I would. But I think there are those things that you know are just once they're adults. There's things that are meant to be their business, that are none of my business.

Speaker 2 21:18

So when you say adults, do you mean like over 18? Oh, I just mean like. Do you mean like living on their own?

Speaker 1 21:24

Yes, adults out in the world, they're working, they're providing for themselves, they're doing their own thing.

Speaker 2 21:31

So what if they live with you?

Speaker 1 21:32

still. Well, I don't think that I. There are certain things that you know. Just because they're living with me doesn't mean they're not an adult. They might not be a hundred percent adult in the fact that they're providing everything for themselves and out in the world, or they wouldn't be living with me.

Speaker 2 21:52

I was just thinking about how I come across sounding so open minded and stuff, right, but as you were saying that, I was like what if I had a kid who was like a nationalist and were you, you know, had a swastika hanging on his room wall? Yeah, would I be okay with that? Hell, no, I would not be okay with that.

Speaker 1 22:11

So where is the line drawn? Yeah?

Speaker 2 22:12

you know, yeah, and maybe this father is looking at it that way. Maybe that's how he takes it. You know, I'm trying to see it from different perspectives, because I sure as hell would not be okay with, nor would I allow that, that scenario that I gave you in my home. It's like if you want to hang your swastika flag or your whatever flag that you know demonstrates what it is that you're into, you could do it in your own place. You're not doing it here, right, but that's because it's my house. I'm not saying you can't do it. I'm just saying you can't do it here, right. So if you want to do it, you live on your own, and those are some of the hard.

Speaker 1 22:48

I mean swastika, I mean that's that's an extreme situation. But you know, definitely that's some of the hard stuff as a parent. As your children gets older. I see things on social media that are like you know. People think that now that your kids have grown, everything's so much easier. It's not.

Speaker 2 23:07

No it's.

Speaker 1 23:08

It's much harder because you aren't as involved in their decision making. They don't come to you when they're crying you know, or when they're hurt. Obviously, I don't mean you know they're literally crying, but you know what I'm saying, and and so it's it's much harder to navigate.

Speaker 2 23:27

Well, let me give you another scenario. This is a real scenario, as a friend of mine has who has a daughter who's really into dancing burlesque. I have this friend whose daughter has been dancing doing go-go dancing, stuff like that and now has progressed into burlesque dancing and it's very risque. She's darling, the little, the little girl, the young lady is darling, but she, she has now invited her mom to come watch her. She didn't invite her dad, she invited her mom. And her mom's just like she's seen burlesque shows before. I mean, we've seen the posts on social media. It's literally pasties over your nipples and a g-string and that's what you end up with.

Speaker 2 24:09

Now I was having a conversation with this mom about this kind of stuff and she's just like how did this even happen? That she felt like this was something that was okay. Like she's not in the mom's mind. She's saying I'm, she's disrespecting her body. She's she doesn't, she's not showing self-respect. These are the things that the mom is saying.

Speaker 2 24:32

But as I and I'm talking with the mom and it's like if my daughter was doing that, I would have a huge issue with that, because I would want my daughter to not be looked at that way, you know. I mean you see other women that are that way. I don't really think about it. But is it okay for her daughter to have that lifestyle and and do the things that she's doing and have the parents not have a say in it? She's 26 years old, 27 years old. So the answer to that is yes. I think she's allowed to do all those things that she wants to do. But these are parents that say we've raised our kids to really have some respect for themselves and things like that. And I'm looking at it like have some respect for themselves and things like that. And I'm looking at it like agree.

Speaker 2 25:18

But also we're talking about two different generations and what one generation thinks is acceptable, another generation may not think is acceptable. You know, what's happening with 20 year olds might be different than what's happening, obviously, with people our own age. I'm not going to go. I'm not interested in that kind of stuff, nor do I. I feel bad if I see girls that are kind of putting themselves out there and it's like maybe that's all they have to offer, that in their mind, that's what they think, that's all they have to offer, which makes me kind of sad. But we were talking about the, I said, well, let me ask you this it's like the Usher concert. There were these girls that were twerking and they were up on they were, they were out you know 30,000 people or whatever they're. They're on a stripper pole and they're have the splits. They're doing the splits and twerking. I mean, it was like, honestly, these girls, they're very talented that they could even do something like that right, those heels and everything else, oh my god, and twerking.

Speaker 2 26:15

I'm just kind of like, oh my god, we got some serious booty slapping going on here on these poles. I mean, these girls are strong, they've obviously are in good shape, you know that kind of thing. But I said to her it's like if that was your, we were talking about it because she's at the same show and and I was like, so if that was your daughter, you're saying, wow, can you believe how strong those girls are, how they could do this kind of thing? We're watching all this. This is someone else's daughter, right? How would you feel about it if your daughter did that? She goes, oh hell, no, I would not feel good about that. So you see how the standard kind of switches do the very best you can do in what you view to be the very best teaching them, giving them the guidance, giving them parameters, helping them learn about self-respect, whatever the case may be and then they go off and make decisions to do things differently. Is it a reflection on you as a parent? What were your thoughts? You feel like it is. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 1 27:13

What your children do. Yes, you feel like it's a reflection, and when it is not the reflection that you would like for it to be, it's very challenging. It's very challenging.

Speaker 2 27:28

She doesn't want to create a rift, but she understands her boundaries. And I and I said you know what it's like. Just like she's telling you she has boundaries around, what she's telling you she will do or not. Do you have this? You have your own boundaries and I think you need to just say Listen, I adore you, I love you, You're always be my daughter, but it's like I have boundaries. I cannot watch this.

Speaker 2 27:52

Yeah, this is not something that I'm comfortable with. Having people see you this way. You know I love you and always will be here for you, but this is not something that I wish to be a part of. And the response was something like understood, I understand your boundaries. That was it the dad like. And again the dad was not involved because so that makes me kind of go. Hmm, she obviously knows that it's probably not something that they're going to be really good with, right, you know, and her parents have you know.

Speaker 2 28:19

They have supported her and everything ever since she's a little girl that I can remember, so yeah, I think she's going through a stage probably where you know she's darling and she's shaking her booty and probably making money doing it or whatever and doesn't really see the issue with it. But probably making money doing it or whatever and doesn't really see the issue with it. But I see the issue from a parent's perspective and how sad I would feel inside if I saw my daughter doing that.

Speaker 1 28:42

Right.

Speaker 2 28:43

So, anyway, just just something to think about, because you, what it boils down to is, you don't have any control. Yeah, the only thing you can do is control how you respond to something, and the response that this our friend gave to her daughter was a very unconditional response, in my opinion.

Speaker 1 29:00

Yeah.

Speaker 2 29:01

Because she's saying I love you, I don't agree with this, I'm not comfortable with this, but she's not saying you absolutely 100%, can't do it. You're being disrespectful to yourself, you're acting like she didn't say any of those things, right? I think that if that ends up coming full circle, then that girl is going to grow up and realize that her mom was probably right.

Speaker 1 29:21

there's a lot of things that we experience because, out of curiosity, there's a lot of things that we do that we think are great and it really wasn't. And therein lies that journey that makes us who we are, you know all along the way and then some.

Speaker 2 29:49

So as parents now we're kind of like we've done. It's kind of like you almost to some degree bless and release it because they're going to come back when they need help. But the difference is you providing that guidance without their request now, versus them coming to you and asking you for your opinion on something.

Speaker 1 30:11

It's a delicate balance, that's for sure.

Speaker 2 30:14

It really is. Because, I mean the relationships with your kids, is really, you know, in my opinion pretty important. So, anyway, okay. Well, there you go. Is the dad an asshole?

Speaker 1 30:26

He wanted to know. That was his question. Yeah, he was like am I an asshole?

Speaker 2 30:30

I thought he was on the Two Hot Takes podcast. It's probably going to be on reddit because that's where they pull their stuff from and it's like it's a great question, yeah, and I, and I kind of think he was, yeah, so just the way he, also the way he, he, he just seemed so arrogant, yes, and not disappointed.

Speaker 1 30:47

it was more arrogance than disappointment, I think that's yeah. I think that's part of what rubbed me the wrong way, so yeah, and we could always put it out there.

Speaker 2 30:57

So you guys will probably put it out there on our socials when this post, so you guys can see what we're talking about.

Speaker 1 31:02

Yeah.

Speaker 2 31:03

But anyway, until that happens, until that happens, then you're just gonna have to wait. Go with the flow people Michelle get off that stripper pole please.

Speaker 1 31:13

Yeah, get down off the pole. All right, we'll talk to you guys next week. All right, take care everyone, bye, bye.