A Blonde A Brunette and a Mic
Look forward to time with these two women who have life experience and something to say! Join us each week as we dive into topics that may be raw, unfiltered, funny and even a little controversial. Whatever we discuss will give you our perspective, get you thinking and will keep you coming back for more!
A Blonde A Brunette and a Mic
Episode 109 Insights From the Mind of a Rapist
Walking alone at night doesn't have to be a terrifying prospect, but awareness is key, especially for women. Join us as we unravel a decade-old article, recently revived on LinkedIn, that shines a sobering light on how attackers identify potential victims. The insights, shared by police officer Martin Katz, guide us through scenarios like accepting drinks from strangers and the perils of using rideshares after a night out. We promise you'll walk away with a stronger sense of how to navigate these situations with confidence and caution.
Parking lots and public restrooms aren't just mundane locations—they're hotspots where predators often prey on the unsuspecting. We explore these unsettling truths and arm you with practical strategies to stay safe, such as projecting confidence and employing everyday items as defensive tools. If you're in a field like real estate that requires trusting strangers, we discuss protocols that could safeguard you in professional settings. Your personal anecdotes and our own experiences underscore the necessity of heightened awareness.
With safety top of mind, we transition from the serious to the playful, as we share stories of youthful recklessness that could make anyone cringe or chuckle. We also tackle the age-old question: are panty lines sexy? Our discussion on undergarment choices adds a lighter touch, all while reinforcing our ultimate message: stay stylish, stay smart, and most importantly, stay safe. Join our conversation to better equip yourself against potential threats and learn how to balance safety with style in every aspect of your life.
Welcome to a Blonde, a Brunette and a Mike podcast. We're just two Seattle besties who keep it real, definitely unfiltered, and are always ready for a laugh.
Speaker 2:I'm Michelle the Blonde, hey there, and I'm Jules the Brunette. Join us as we dive into all of the juicy topics like dating, women's health, sex politics, relationships and everything in between.
Speaker 1:We each have our own unique perspective and don't always see eye to eye, but that just makes our conversations that much more interesting. That's right.
Speaker 2:So if you're looking for a podcast that's both entertaining and honest, I think we've got you covered.
Speaker 1:Two authentic women, both with real talk let's go say I'd like to know where you got the notion what notion? You don't even know what to say to that, do you?
Speaker 2:what? What song are you singing?
Speaker 1:are you don't know that song? No, it's not like from the boat don't rock the boat, baby. Rock the boat, don't tip the boat over.
Speaker 2:yeah, okay, now that song. Yeah, because you're harmonizing really well, that's a good one.
Speaker 1:Why do you think you're singing that? I have no idea.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:It's just you know.
Speaker 2:Apparently, Michelle's gonna be rocking the boat today. Something's rocking. I don't know what's rocking, but I'm just glad to be recording.
Speaker 1:Can we just talk about that right now? Weird, it's like a good thing and we got actually good things to talk about today.
Speaker 2:We do, we do, and actually you know, ladies and gentlemen but ladies in particular we were hoping to have a little chat about safety and we'd run across an article that we wanted to talk with you guys about. But before we do that I know Michelle was saying how we want to start our episodes out just with a little thank you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thanks for listening, thanks for downloading. Continue to do so. Share with your friends, tell them about a blonde or brunette and a mic podcast, and remember to download. We're out there on all the socials Facebook YouTube. Check out YouTube socials. Facebook YouTube check out YouTube. Youtube is the full episode, video wise, and then audio. You can catch us on any of your favorite podcast platforms, so just do that.
Speaker 2:Just do it.
Speaker 1:You got the notion. Maybe that's why I sang that song.
Speaker 2:All right. Well, I don't know. But I don't even know who sings that song. I think it's a one hit wonder.
Speaker 1:But we're just going to go with it. It's my one-hit wonder now.
Speaker 2:Yeah Well okay, so this article I was going to kind of share, so what?
Speaker 1:No, I was just going to say Julie told me about this and it was super one, super interesting because of the perspective she's going to explain here in a second. So there's all you know. We've talked about girl code and you know when we go out and there's all these things in regard to safety, but this is a totally different perspective. So tell them, jules.
Speaker 2:Okay, Well, there was an article that had been posted about 10 years ago actually, and we were trying to find the origin of it, but it had been shared so many times. We ended up finding it actually by a gentleman named Martin Katz. He's a police officer, and he had posted it or reposted it on LinkedIn in 2023. But it looks like it dates back to like 2013. And what it was was an interview that had been completed by someone we don't know who to credit, and that person had interviewed rapists that had been in prison and getting Rapists in prison yeah well, they were in prison, but they were actually willing to speak with him for whatever reason, and they were sharing, kind of their tips and tricks on who they identified as the most viable victims Vulnerable ladies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, vulnerable, viable. Who's the most vulnerable out there? And what are some of the telltale signs? Tell signs.
Speaker 2:Well, and we were chatting about this a little bit, you know, when we were preparing, because we thought about you know, there's something about safety with women that obviously you know. It can be safety with men too, right, but women are going to be a victim if they're putting themselves in a position by walking somewhere, quietly walking, you know, at night. By walking somewhere, quietly walking at night, whatever I mean, the reality is that we could potentially be someone who is looked at as a target.
Speaker 1:Getting in an Uber having drank too much and you're in there alone letting somebody buy you a drink when you're out. All kinds of different scenarios.
Speaker 2:I was actually. I was telling you I was out with a friend last night and we were talking about this because there he was sharing with me how he didn't pour the water. Before I got there he had a full like thing of water and he was like I didn't pour this because he goes. He learned from someone else some other friend that he knew, or a woman, whatever that he had offered to get a drink for this person before they got to wherever they were going, and or he was already there and she said, no, that's fine, I'll get it when I get there. And he thought that was kind of odd. And then when she got there, he was like how come you didn't want me to? He didn't take it. He took it like, oh, she's so independent that she doesn't even want me to buy a drink.
Speaker 2:But that wasn't it at all. It was more like no, I know you, but I don't know you that well and you know I don't want to take a drink from somebody who I don't know, yeah, or have water poured by somebody that I don't know, or have someone bring a drink to me that I don't know, because they could slip something in it prior. That's absolutely right.
Speaker 2:And I do have a friend that that has happened to. So do I? Yeah, yeah, so it is something that can take place and that is a safety notion that you know, when we're out and about, you always are kind of paired up or you're trying to be ensuring that your friends are safe and that you're safe and everything, so you kind of watch out for each other. Yeah, but there's plenty of times when you are in the mall parking lot or when you are in the parking lot of the grocery store or something, you're on your own, you know you're by yourself, and so those are the places where these kinds of things can potentially happen.
Speaker 1:Vulnerability yeah, and.
Speaker 2:I don't think that having. I don't think it's toxically feminine to say that we want to have another set of eyes on us when we're walking to our car. I don't think that's the case at all. Some people might. I think it's smart to do things like that, but as women, I know we were talking about how you are independent or you want to be independent. You want to be independent, you want to be self sufficient, you want to be in a place where you don't need to have somebody help you with those things, because you don't look at yourself as a target. I mean, I don't look at myself that way.
Speaker 1:Well, you were just we. We were just talking earlier about a situation where you were out. You went to this event because you were invited. It's not. It wasn't in the best. There's a lot of creative pockets in Seattle. Let me just explain that.
Speaker 2:It was an icky pocket.
Speaker 1:Some of the creative pockets are not in the best places, but there's some cool ass things that happen in these places, right? So it was that type of a scenario and you had driven there on your own and parked a couple blocks away and had to walk, and it's in the evening time, don't?
Speaker 2:forget blistery, cold and rainy and dark, the same.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so, and then, when the event was over, you tell them, jules.
Speaker 2:Oh, the individual that invited me to the event was, you know, busy handling all kinds of people, you know, making sure he was the host, right, and so I was just getting ready to head out, there was probably at least 100 people still there and so I just said goodbye. I was like I'm going to get going and said goodbye and he goes do you want me to walk you to your car? And I said no, I got it, I your car. And I said no, I got it, I'm fine. And and he said Okay, I mean, he went back to doing what he was doing.
Speaker 2:But he asked and I left and I went downstairs and I went out the door and I'm like that was probably not very smart of me to do that and not have him walk you. Yeah, and it's like I was feeling bad because I didn't want to pull him away from the event. He was a gentleman, totally offered. And then you know, here I am being this, you know, woman who can take care of herself, right, it's like this is not about me not being able to take care of myself.
Speaker 1:No, and it's. We'll talk about that, because women and being sympathetic, this is one of the things that we're talking about. You wanted him to be able to do as an event and not take him away, and I was like, but he invited you there. If he's asking, do you want me to walk you? Yes, Walk me to my car please.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So then when I was out last night, I same kind of scenario we walking out to our cars, parked in different places and stuff, and I remembered the feeling that I had had the week before when I'd been at this event. And so we're walking out and he's like do you want me to walk you to your car?
Speaker 1:And I'm like, yeah, I didn't even hesitate, not wanting to feel like that again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and this area I didn't feel unsafe Really, there were people around and everything. But I mean a lot of it has to do with this very false sense of security. Yeah, yeah, you can have and you can be trained in all kinds of different techniques to get people to stay away from you, but the reality is that there are going to be people who are going to potentially look at you as a target unless you handle yourself, maybe in a way that would make them want to move on to somebody else.
Speaker 2:It's kind of like when you're at home and you've got lights on in your house, a car in the driveway people are more than likely going to go to a different house that looks like nobody's home. It's kind of similar, Something they're erring perhaps on the side of ease.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm thinking about right now. I'm thinking about a mother with their children. If you behave in a certain way as a mom and you like give a tone of voice and do the right kinds of things with your kids, they're going to be like I'm going to leave her alone. We'll just leave her alone for now, Right?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Same kind of things with, you know, predators in regard to these types of situations. So, and we're going to, we're going to kind of go through, we've got some lists and of things with regard to the article that Julie was telling you about. So it's so interesting, it's very interesting to me Things that are like okay, that makes sense, but you don't really think about.
Speaker 2:What kind of is unnerving about it? Is that these answers or these things we're going to tell you guys came from someone who was actually convicted.
Speaker 1:Right from the rapist. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And you know who and how they look for victims.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah and, and they are professionals, they, they tip, and you'll see, as we talk about some of this stuff, um, what we're talking about it's, it's like okay. So for example here we go with the first one your hairstyle, yeah, so I have long hair, yeah but it's like I know cops deal with this too.
Speaker 2:It's like they don't want to have ponytails because they can get held on to by their ponytail and everything and I've got long hair. So you know, I've got long hair, and long hair is kind of one of the things that they might look at, and one of the one of the components of this that we were seeing was that people with short hair aren't nearly as much victims as people with long hair. Yeah, for that very reason. Now I don't have any statistics on this, I'm just telling you like from the interview.
Speaker 1:It makes sense, though, right Ponytails, braids, buns If it's not a messy bun, if somebody's going to be grabbing it and throwing you to the ground, it's going to be messy after that, right.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:So those, because you can, they can grab onto that and have control.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so there you go, and also the clothing, and this doesn't go back to. I'm not saying clothing, in that you shouldn't dress like that. That's not what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like sexy clothing yeah.
Speaker 2:Clothing that is easy to get off. So perhaps in areas where it's really cold you're really bundled up in things. That wouldn't necessarily be the case. But summertime, think summertime, think you know, when you're out and about, think of you're wearing shorts and a tank top and you're in a parking lot, at the grocery store, you know that sort of thing. What was the other one that we're all really very guilty of?
Speaker 1:Using women using their cell phone. Yeah Right, you're completely distracted when you're using your cell phone, looking for things right, digging through your purse, different things like that, and walking and doing it at the same time, and you're, you're not paying attention. Very easily. You can be overpowered in that situation.
Speaker 2:I remember hearing a story a couple of years ago about a woman who was downtown, downtown Seattle, walking and talking on her cell phone and walked right out into the street and got hit by a bus. Oh my goodness, like so not paying attention. I mean, obviously she had safety issues in another way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so this is interesting because this brings me back to when I worked in downtown Seattle, right in downtown Seattle right, and I used to wear my earphone, my earphones, and I would wear sunglasses. And when I would walk, whether it was whether the sun was out or not, and I didn't, I wasn't not listening to anything, I just made it seem that way so that I could hear what was going on around me and so that I could pay attention with my eyes, sunglasses on. Do you know what I'm saying? So kind of inconspicuously being alert, if you will, Right?
Speaker 2:I don't even know if they had noise canceling back then.
Speaker 1:I didn't want noise canceling.
Speaker 2:That's what.
Speaker 1:I'm saying yeah, I don't know, I just I have my noise canceling ones and I don't put the noise canceling on. Right, so you can hear.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I can hear what's going on around me, I want to but I don't necessarily do that. The top three places that these rapists said that they would look for their victims would be where A grocery store parking lot?
Speaker 1:Yep, go figure. Why is it all the women that are shopping for the food? But it is, yeah, especially the ones without kids. Grocery store parking lot, an office situation, office building parking lot or parking garages yeah, that type of thing.
Speaker 2:And they're, you know, maybe dark. And I mean, I can think of many times getting going out to my car and my car was the only one there because I was leaving late, you know or going to my nail place. I was telling you, I go to my nail place and there's, and it's on a busy street, so you have, you park in a garage. Well, you park in the garage, but then you take the elevator up to the floor, but when the elevator opens it's dark.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that would treat me.
Speaker 2:And then, once the door gets all the way open, the light goes on. But what if there was?
Speaker 1:somebody in there. I wouldn't even want to get in it. I'd be like, yeah, I'll take the next one. You know what the other place was Public restrooms.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I could totally see that, if you think about it.
Speaker 2:Right, there's nobody else in there. There's like yeah, there's.
Speaker 1:there's not a lot of people in those most of the time because they're not the most sanitary here in Washington anyways, but um, yeah, so kind of an abandoned spot and that's one of the top ones also. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So just being and we're not, we're kind of oblivious to what's going on around you. You know you need to get into the restroom and get out. It's like you're definitely I mean not probably focused completely on what's going on around you so that that definitely happens.
Speaker 2:Um, the other thing too is if the, if the rapist felt like there was going to be any kind of issue or fight from this person, then they would move on to someone else. And it could be that they're, you know, looking at them, or like they got in an elevator and said, hey, do you know what time it is? Or, you know, just kind of had like something directed toward that person.
Speaker 2:They knew that they saw them. They knew that they were holding themselves kind of high and they're standing up straight, they're talking, looking them in the eye More confident yeah. They wouldn't mess with them as much, yeah, so that was, I thought, kind of an important thing to note as well.
Speaker 2:That makes sense yeah, oh then of course, here in the Northwest we have bumper shoots or umbrellas. Here in the Northwest we have bumper shoots or umbrellas All the time, although I got to say if you're a Northwest native, you don't really have one, you just get rained on.
Speaker 1:That's what they say. Well, I'm technically not a Northwest native, but I might as well be, because I've lived here for 40 years. Yeah Right.
Speaker 2:You're a Northwest native. Now.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I do use an umbrella. I really don't, and you know why I don don't really not like, and I guess I see the difference when, when Rick is here when he comes to visit and we're gonna run to the store or whatever, right, and it's like raining, I do just like run in and out, I just go to the car, I run in the store And's yeah, it's very apparent that he's not from here, because he's like let me get my galoshes. Yeah, yeah, no I.
Speaker 2:I don't. I mean, I probably have one somewhere, but you know, it's one of those things. It's like gloves, umbrellas, glasses, hats yeah, I lose all that shit, so and her keys. Oh yeah, I have one of those little devices I need to put on my keys, but that's a whole nother story, another story. Yeah, that's like a, that's like a really special thing for me, I think it can be a deterrent to your point you know, you know head high, head held high, you know looking somebody straight in the eye.
Speaker 1:If you've got an umbrella, that's you know that can be a weapon if you will of defense. So those things can be somewhat of a deterrent.
Speaker 2:Have you had or used mace or anything?
Speaker 1:in the past. I don't, but I need to.
Speaker 2:Do you?
Speaker 1:Do I need?
Speaker 2:to yeah, I mean, do you feel like you could use it?
Speaker 1:appropriately. Well, uh, yeah, if I needed to.
Speaker 2:So I mean it can't. The question would be is like if you're worried that it could get pulled away from you, or something yeah, Then yeah.
Speaker 2:So you have to be prepared to use these things. It's kind of like when people have a gun, you know, and they point it at somebody, you better damn well be ready to use it. True, true, same, I guess, with the mace, but that is something I see people carry. It ends up in the bottom of their bag and, you know, for real estate, you know, like I told you, we have, you know, protocol for open houses and things, because there are a lot of safety factors involved with that. Very similar to this, except that people are coming in, you know, and a lot of the time are the only one there. So you are very well prepared. And I know realtors who have concealed weapons permits and carry guns and they have them at their open houses because they are there for their, it's there for their safety, yeah, yeah, and I think that's great if they choose to do that.
Speaker 1:And I do too. Like yeah, I don't know that I would do that Some of the stories you shared with me like stuff I wouldn't even think about, and it's it's so true. I I'm sure that if I was in that type of situation, I would have a taser, or, yeah, mace, one of the two.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we had these. We have these little baby tasers. They're they, they're cute. You know, they kind of would go on your key chain or something. Doesn't even really look like one. Yeah, do they work.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, they work, as long as they're working, or.
Speaker 2:I just have Mary with me and she's like I wouldn't mess with her, you know wouldn't mess with that girl. Yeah, we'll go, marry Thomas on you, anyway. So what are some of the points that maybe people can remember when we talked about looking them in the face, like if you're in an elevator or like the worst thing you could do is go down and go in the public stairwells?
Speaker 1:Yeah, use an elevator, but a stairwell is not a safe place.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I'll do the stairs a lot of the time just to get some exercise, you know.
Speaker 1:And that's why I was telling you recently I started doing for exercise. I do stairs and there's a public place that I found recently. That's a great place because it's covered, it's lit, but it could be it's stairs and. I'm going up, you know, six flights up and down flights of stairs. So you know, as we're talking about this, that's why I was saying yep. And you wear your headphones when you do that, I need to get. I actually don't.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 1:Yeah, for that very reason. I just like to be aware. I don't yeah in a different setting. I do when I'm at the beach. The stairs I do, but these stairs I haven't. So but yeah, you just-, Because it's just kind of unnerving to think that you're.
Speaker 2:I mean, you're just trying to get a little exercise sort of a thing, and there could be someone who's kind of lurking, and I think that there are lots of predators that are looking for crimes of opportunity, but there's also ones that watch patterns.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was just. That's exactly what I was just thinking of. Changing it up and not being so consistent with structure might feel good for you, but in those types of situations like if you're, if you're going out running every morning at 5 30 am when it's still dark, and you're doing it the same every single day, I think the question would be why the hell? You know right? Yeah, let's dig into that a little bit.
Speaker 2:Why the hell are you doing that at 5, 30 in?
Speaker 1:the morning.
Speaker 2:Good for you, um anybody that is yeah, I, I know More power to you, and when the light comes back, you know even more. So there was one thing. Now again, if you're in a position or a situation where this is something that could be happening to you, you know your fight or flight instincts obviously kick in. You wouldn't necessarily remember to do certain things.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, remember to do certain things, but yeah. So one thing that we had run across is that your elbow is one of the strongest components of your body that you can use Strongest. Yeah, and your foot just kick them in the nuts, you know that's another one. Or poking their eyes out yeah.
Speaker 1:Or pinching the, pinching the skin under the like underarm and on the inner thigh, because it's super thin skin there and it is painful.
Speaker 2:And it hurts, yeah, it can bring somebody to their knees, and long enough, I think, for you to be able to get up and get out of wherever it is that you are or run.
Speaker 1:And be vocal, depending on the situation. If you feel like something like Slim Shady's about to go down, yeah, scream bloody murder.
Speaker 2:Scream, yeah, put your hand out, yell, stop If you feel like something like Slim Shady's about to go down. Yeah, scream, bloody murder.
Speaker 1:Scream, yeah, put your hand out, yell, stop If you feel somebody's coming to you those kinds of things, anything to be not vulnerable and show that you are a fighter in that circumstance. This is going to be more than they're wanting to deal with.
Speaker 2:So you know there's been different schools of thought on that about do you just be passive and hope that they, you know, leave you alone, or that they, you know, don't hurt you too much and that you can get away? Or do you run and fight and we were talking about that because, I mean, my instincts would be to fight as much as I possibly could to get myself out of that situation. Is he going to get more mad or more frustrated? Perhaps Would he hit you harder, would he do more harm to you? Could be, but the alternative is that you're kind of giving up all your power. So there's different schools of thought on that and I don't know, maybe it would just be dependent on the circumstances or how they're feeling. If they put a gun to your head or something, that might be a different approach. For sure. What about, like, if they want to just take your wallet or your handbag?
Speaker 1:So I was looking at that and what I was finding is that if somebody demands your purse or wallet, don't just hand it off. Don't just like give it to them. You're going to want to toss it away from you, right? Don't just give it to them. Toss it away from you because they're going to be this is what the statistics show they're going to be more interested in going for the wallet away from you, and then when they do that, then you're going to run like a bitch and get the hell out of the dodge right.
Speaker 1:So run, run, run. And you know, even I was seeing too, too, with somebody with a gun. Same scenario you should run like hell to get out of there because there's a four out of 100 that they're going to hit a moving target, Right? So if you are running, it's going to be better than you're staying at a close proximity where he's got that gun. He, she, whoever.
Speaker 2:Or multiple people. Yeah, whatever it is, yeah.
Speaker 1:so run, run run.
Speaker 2:And I'm guilty of doing this. This is something that when we were kind of looking at these, I went, oh shit, I do. That Is when you get in your car Like I'll get in my car after I'm doing a shopping thing or whatever and I've got my little to do list and so I'm crossing things off or trying to figure out where the next thing is I'm going to go or whatever. You're sitting in your car like a like a sitting duck, yeah, yeah. So I will lock my door immediately. You know when I get in and theoretically you should just pull out of there and go on to your next destination and you know, try to lock the doors and leave.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Right, yeah, I think too, you know, when we were younger we were a lot more, I would say, innocent to a lot of these things, more naive to these things, not really realizing, at least myself, that people were, that there were I know this is going to sound really Pollyanna but that there were that many awful people in this world that wanted to hurt you.
Speaker 1:Well, let's be, let's be honest. We were generation X. Right, we were the ones that stayed out. We were. We were talking about this because when I would leave the house to go play with my friend, I was literally gone all day. If it was the weekend, you know, I've gone all day till dinnertime. You don't come home till it's dinner. Can you imagine us being parents now? We went through the 90s where all of those things started changing.
Speaker 1:But, for our parents. Right, we left the house. We were out all day playing with our friends. We came home at dinnertime and after dinner we went back out, and I know you hear these things all the time, but it is true. Literally we were out till the streetlights came on and that's when we would go home, and sometimes not even then. Sometimes we would end up over in somebody's yard playing hide and seek in the dark. Kick the can, you know, whatever it was.
Speaker 2:you know, in the evening there's people that are gonna be listening to this have no concept or idea of what you're saying. Yeah, exactly what my experience was when I was a kid too. Yeah, and that's why we are more trusting.
Speaker 1:Yeah because we were able to do that. So I think that has, for me, anyways, that has definitely carried on over. Has for me, anyways, that has definitely carried on over, and I for sure am one. That is more. I don't even know that it's more trusting. It's just what we're used to, it's what we grew up with, based on that example that I just shared.
Speaker 1:And so you're just living your life. You're going to the store, you're going shopping, you're getting in your car, you're going home, you're walking to and from down a block or two or whatever. This is what we've done our whole life, but now because we lived before all the internet and everything else and got to know all the bad stuff, so we lived during that time. But now we know about all the shit that's out there and cases like this where they interview rapists in prison and, you know, share all the things that they look for. And thank goodness because there's a lot of women out there that disappeared back in the day, that we have no clue or that they ever found, because they didn't have the education like we're able to share now because of those things.
Speaker 2:Well, and again, when we were younger. I mean not even just kids, but even going into, like you know, early 20s stuff like that because none of the internet, all that stuff didn't really exist. I mean, I would walk home from school by myself at kindergarten six, seven blocks by myself. Or we'd go to the corner store. We always walked through the alleys All the time.
Speaker 1:Yep Alley crazy things like that, just like we would. Yeah, you know, when we were gone all day, it's not like we were next door, I was on the other side of the block. We would go down seven blocks to the elementary school. We would go down to the park, we were all over the place On our bikes with no helmets Everywhere, yeah, everywhere.
Speaker 2:We would go. We would see how fast we could go down this one windy road up by my house, and it was a four-way thing. Like you'd come out of the windy road and you'd be flying across a place where cars could potentially be. I am so Russian roulette right there, I'm telling you. It's like the fact that I'm even here amazes the hell out of me because I would do that as fast as I could go. No helmet, and I'm like you know, so yeah there were a lot of things that we did that you don't really see anymore.
Speaker 2:Can you imagine? Can you imagine our kids? You don't really see anymore.
Speaker 1:Can you imagine? Can you imagine our kids? I wish. Sorry we're digressing a little bit and going down a little bit of a different path here, but it's so true. I saw a thing the other day that was like you don't really see kids with casts very much anymore, for this very reason. You can't break your arm playing a video game. Yeah right, you can't break your arm watching TV and being on a computer, and it's just, it's so different. Yeah, it's where what happened between the two.
Speaker 2:Have you ever had a cast?
Speaker 1:I had a cast. No, I broke my arm when I was in kindergarten, did you yeah?
Speaker 2:I mean, I broke my pinky when I slammed it in the door at McDonald's when I was six. That's as close as I ever came. Of course it was McDonald's, right, anyways, anyway. So I think what it kind of boils down to is that it is better to be a little paranoid, to be very mindful of what's going on around you and protective of yourself and the people you love. You know, sharing some of the information that we've talked about today, it's way better than being dead, yep, or missing A hundred percent, and I know it's sometimes. I've heard these things or I've been in trainings or you know whatever, and I think, oh my gosh, that stuff happens to other people. No, it happens to people. We know it happens to us.
Speaker 2:And there have been times when, like I had shared with you, I cannot believe that I made it. You know, I would do the stupidest things. Like I was coming back. I would think I was 21, 22, from California, desperate to get out of wherever I was.
Speaker 2:I was at the long story, but I was at this wedding and I was trying to get back and I took a bus from somewhere in middle California like farmland California to the LA. I was going to the bus station and then from there I didn't have a ride. I had no money. You know I'm wearing and I remember I was wearing a tank top and a little skirt and a pair of like little shoes, right, 21 years old, 22, whatever. I ended up hitchhiking with, well, one of the guys that was on the bus. I caught a ride with him and his two friends to frickin LAX. Two of the guys didn't even speak English. One of the guys spoke English. We're driving from wherever this bus place was. They could have taken me out into the middle of a field and I would never have been found.
Speaker 1:But they were gentlemen and they dropped me off at LAX. But I mean, think about that. Does the adrenaline rush kind of go in your body when you think and talk about it? Still Now it makes me go what the hell was I thinking?
Speaker 2:I didn't even think twice about it what the hell was I thinking, but back then I didn't even think twice about it.
Speaker 1:I probably thought oh he was just so kind, helping you out in your situation. Yeah.
Speaker 2:So, anyway, people out there, yeah, take some of this information to heart, share it with your daughters, share it with your granddaughters and use it for yourself, because it would be way better, like I said, to kind of be mindful of these things than be a victim. Like I said, to kind of be mindful of these things, then be a victim, and nobody wants to be a victim.
Speaker 1:Pay attention to your surroundings.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and this doesn't have anything to do with being independent. It doesn't have anything to do with being a strong woman. We are both independent strong women, but reality is that there are other people that are physically more capable than we are.
Speaker 1:They're stronger than we are.
Speaker 2:I hate to say it, but it's the reality.
Speaker 1:It's the reality of it.
Speaker 2:So I don't want to be anybody's victim and I'm going to make sure that I'm more mindful than I was when I was 22.
Speaker 1:Yeah, some of the. I mean, yeah, some of these things. Just you know, it gives you a reason to pause and be like wow, because then, to your point, you think about some of the circumstances that you've been in in the past where not even paying any attention, but you know so just eliminate the vulnerability altogether as a woman and just you know, be smart, pay attention and be safe out there. Be safe out there, ladies, everybody really.
Speaker 2:But yeah, shelly Bailey, are you going to ring the bell?
Speaker 1:Oh, am I going to ring the bell, the bell sure it's your question this time it's my question, um, so let's ring that bell and I want to know jules, do you think it's sexy when women have panty lines? Are panty lines sexy?
Speaker 1:that'd be a hell to the no, not ever like so and and I know guys, any guys that are listening this, of course, is a question for you because, you know, maybe you think that panty lines are sexy, but, um, I don't think they are either yeah, well, I mean, the alternative some people have is that they just go commando.
Speaker 2:Right which commando you can go commando and you know, be very free. Guys do it all the time. I'm sure women do too. Yeah, um, that's an option anybody ever heard the term camel toe that's the problem, and you know, especially with like a lot of the stuff that people wear nowadays it's like, you know, the leggings mostly I'm thinking it's like that is kind of unattractive, you know. So I would suggest a thong, a thong, yeah.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 2:I would suggest a thong.
Speaker 1:That'll alleviate any issues with panty lines and I would say, going along with the theme of being smart ladies, just like we were, you know, be smart when it comes to safety, be smart when it comes to panties, too, and just my recommendation is commando. But be smart when it comes to panties, too, and just my recommendation is commando. But be smart about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, because sometimes like you can wear it, like like you can see it, you can see it, and then they're in their granny panties. And I'm just like I'm sorry you're too young to be wearing granny. This is what I want to say.
Speaker 1:Well, and there's lots of options out there. Now, there's lots of options. They don't have the elastic, so you can there. There are panties out there where you can put them on and not see the line. So we have come a bit, you know, in in regard to evolution there.
Speaker 2:So well, even if you're wearing white like wearing white shorts, for example. It's an issue, right? What do you wear under the white you wear, you wear nude colored. I mean, I wear a thong, yeah, but you wear under the white you wear. You wear nude colored.
Speaker 2:I mean, I wear a thong, yeah, but you wear a nude color but there's been times when I didn't have the nude ones and I'm like I guess I gotta wear purple, but I'm gonna wear a long shirt over it. So then there's no chance. There you go. Yeah, anyway, thank you everybody.
Speaker 1:Use your under choices wisely yeah, there's that one, yeah, and stay sexy. Stay sexy and safe. It's kind of an important one to stay sexy right. And safe and safe.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we'll wrap it up all to that, okay, and on that note, we're done, yeah, hey, thank you so much, everybody for tuning in and listening to some of our banter back and forth, and we look forward to chatting with you next week All right, see you later Peace out. People Bye, Bye yeah.