Spicy Midlife Women: Real Talk, Raw Truth, and Bold Moves for Women Over 40

Episode 110 A Disabled Veterans story Beyond the Uniform

• Jules and Michele

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Sergeant Jay Walker shares his 15-year military journey and the challenges of living with a traumatic brain injury sustained during his deployment to Bosnia.

• Joined the Army at 19 as a combat engineer, stationed first in Germany
• Deployed to Bosnia for 10 months in 1997 where he suffered a traumatic brain injury
• Left active duty in 2001 but returned to reserves in 2007, changing roles to dental assistant
• Experiences ongoing symptoms including migraines, memory loss, slurred speech, and vision problems
• Faced homelessness even while serving in the reserves
• Found purpose through coaching high school football despite ongoing health challenges
• Emphasizes the importance of mental health support and "doing the work" for recovery
• Advocates for better understanding from family members supporting veterans
• Plans to start his own podcast to continue sharing veteran experiences

If you want to suggest topics for Jay's upcoming podcast or connect with him, please reach out to us at ablondeabrunetteandamic@gmail.com.


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Meeting Sergeant Jay Walker

Speaker 1

All right. Well, hello everyone and welcome. I'm hearing echo. I'm hearing echo.

Speaker 2

I don't hear echo. That's what we were talking about before, like because we're here, we can hear each other in real time, okay, so there's just a little bit of a delay. Is it a little bit of a delay, or is it an echo?

Speaker 1

Okay, maybe it's a delay. Yeah, all right, we're going to start again. Hello everyone, thank you so much for joining us today. We are thrilled to have a guest on here today. You can see him on the screen. This is Sergeant Jay Walker, and we are here today to talk about his experience as a veteran, and a disabled veteran at that, and just kind of learn a little bit about his story and kind of take it from there. Thanks for being here, jay.

Speaker 3

Oh, thanks for having me. Where should I start?

Speaker 1

Well, let's start with your military experience. So uh, old were you when you went in the military uh, 20.

Speaker 3

Uh, well, actually 19, because I turned 20 like in the summertime, so right out of high school and first duty station was germany. Well, we did basic training in missouri for 13 weeks, so that was a time when, um, like the drill sergeants were in like the, the hats that looks like Rangers.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 3

And um they can actually put their hands on you back then.

Speaker 1

They can't do that now.

Speaker 2

Yeah, Is this the army? Sorry I.

Speaker 3

I, yeah, yeah, it was army, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2

Drill sergeant.

Speaker 3

And then, oh yeah, yeah, november of 1995. I went to Bosnia in 97. So all of 97, we had to go through Croatia to train for two, three weeks. Then we were in Bosnia for 10 months and then we had to debrief in Croatia.

Speaker 1

And then you went back to Germany or stateside.

Speaker 3

Yeah, I went back to Germany.

Speaker 1

Okay.

Speaker 3

Wiesbaden.

Speaker 2

What's that Wiesbaden? I was just asking if it was in Wiesbaden.

Speaker 3

Oh no, it was in. You said Wiesbaden.

Speaker 2

Isn't that yeah?

Speaker 3

No, it was Wiesbaden.

Speaker 2

Well, you know, close enough, right.

Speaker 3

Well, just like Munich, you know. Just like Munich, you know just like Munich.

Speaker 1

People say Munchen, but it's actually pronounced Munich.

Speaker 3

Yeah well, there's those.

Speaker 1

Americans and how we pronounce stuff right yeah, yeah so how long. So what was your total uh experience time frame in the in the military then?

Speaker 3

so 15 years. So I did seven years active duty and then I got out February 2001, a couple of months before 9-11. And then I went back into the military in 2007 of December.

Speaker 1

And what possessed you to do that?

Speaker 3

Be honest, I had no clue what I wanted to do in life. Be honest, I had no clue what I wanted to do in life. So it's one of those things that you get out the military and you're programmed to do what you're told and don't ask questions. And even when eating habits, when you're eating, they always tell you taste your food later, so we have to hurry up and eat.

Speaker 2

Okay, wow yeah.

Speaker 1

Okay, I would not have made it in the military. Neither one of us would actually Go ahead. I'm sorry.

Speaker 3

It was a good experience. I mean, it was one of those things, like you know, I would say, when I first got out of the military in 2001, I went into like security, security for six months. I was two years doing behavior but working with at-risk teenagers in Pennsylvania. So I was kind of here and there trying to find out what it is that I want to do in life, and then I just missed the military.

Speaker 1

I missed being around the structure, yeah, so I went back.

Speaker 3

Yeah, I went back in.

Speaker 1

Did you go back in the same rank or the same area of expertise that you had before?

Speaker 3

Same rank but a different job. So going in the first time time I was a combat engineer and if you don't know much about combat engineers, think of infantrymen. But we dealt with explosives, demolition, landmines, like I don't even know why I even went into that department. My recruiter just showed me a bunch. If it went into that department, my recruiter just showed me a bunch of video of guys, you know, jumping and shooting and crawling and I thought it was fun until I got there and I'm like what am I? What did I sign up for?

Speaker 2

You know, that's I mean, I'm just sitting here listening to that, and that's probably the case with a lot of young people who don't know what they want to do, of young people who don't know what they want to do, and this is a good way for structure, for consistency, all those types of things, and probably very impressionable, so that you're listening to someone who is a role model. I guess it might seem as that in that time, before you have experienced anything Right.

Speaker 3

Right.

Speaker 2

And so I'm sure it's kind of like when people go to the doctor they just kind of do whatever they say that they're telling them to do, whether it's really what you think you should be doing or not. So anyways, just that was just prompting thoughts on that.

Speaker 1

Okay, I have a. I have a question. Did you, uh, were you getting in trouble before you, like, out of high school? And that's kind of why you decided, cause you didn't know what direction to go. No, I was actually good to be honest, like um well, football I know doing a lot of that kind of stuff.

Speaker 3

Right, I actually was playing football while I was in the army, in Germany too, so wasn't really allowed. So I would say, if it was anything bad like we wasn't really allowed to play other sports, think about it. We're government property, so you can actually get like charged with damaging military equipment by hurting yourself.

Speaker 1

Oh, wow.

Traumatic Brain Injury

Speaker 3

Like. So if you go out and you play sports or so and it's not military related you hurt yourself like they can charge you for damaging military equipment.

Speaker 1

That's kind of a nice segue into like your injuries, because you are well, it's like your military equipment, right?

Speaker 3

So let's talk about that how did that, uh?

Speaker 1

how did the injuries transpire? And then what happened after with the mill, in terms of the level of support and everything that you received?

Speaker 3

uh, so being active duty for like seven years and, like I said, um, but the combat being a combat engineer and then leaving there 2001, I didn't really start experiencing a lot of my injuries. One of the major injuries I had was I was in a vehicle accident in Bosnia. I don't want to go into detail, but I ended up having a traumatic brain injury. So leaving there and then my symptoms were migraines or forgetfulness and slurred speech, and I still deal with it till today. But it affected me even going back into the military in the reserves in 2007. I went into a different department, so I went from combat engineer to dental assistant. To be honest.

Speaker 1

That's a completely, completely separate line of work. Yeah, I'm not going to be around anything that blows up anymore.

Speaker 3

So but still it affected me because you know the migraines. You know because in the reserves Migraines because in the reserves it's pretty much a weekend a month and then two or three weeks are the summer. I believe that's it. Unless they change it right now, I mean this year. But even going to drill, I would still suffer from the migraines, I would still suffer from sleep issuesraines, I would still suffer from sleep issues. You know, because we had to pull guard duty. So, all of those things I carried over to the reserves, you know.

Speaker 2

Did you get any pushback? Yeah, that's what I was going to ask. Well, you know, after having the injury and then going back to the reserves, was there any pushback injury and then going back to the reserves, was there any pushback? I'm I'm surprised that they took you in for the reserves with that in in the past. You know what I mean right.

Speaker 3

Well, it wasn't a problem. It just, you know, it wasn't like a, it's an everyday thing or it was just once in a while. Yeah, yeah, so it really didn't affect me as much as now.

Speaker 3

It's like every every day or every week, you know, because I guess, like, of course, like as you age and you know, you know things happen. So I have, now I have a traumatic brain injury team. You know, back then it was just like you know every now, and then you talk to the doctor or you see a therapist or something like that. Now it's like here I am, you know, 49 and I have a traumatic brain injury team. I have a neurologist, I have a therapist.

Speaker 1

So the resources have been more than you had anticipated, or do you feel like they've evolved over time, like you've been able to obtain more help or support, or did you? Did you have that support early on, when the injury took place?

Speaker 3

I didn't have that support early on and that's what I was saying I think at the time, like technology probably wasn't what it was, like you know, or what it is now. Back then you know they probably still struggle like trying to find or locate. You know the symptoms of traumatic brain injury. I'm not a doctor, I'm just saying that it just wasn't available at that time. But then it's also up to us to want to seek that help Correct, so we got to take accountability for that as well.

Speaker 1

Well, was it more of a? I'm just trying to understand if they didn't have. I mean, there were so many people that were dealing with traumatic brain injuries or PTSD, all these kinds, and we're civilians seeing things kind of from the outside looking in, it's hard to know if the soldiers are getting the kind of support they need or if the support's there and they're just not seeking it.

Speaker 3

I think it's a little bit of both to be, honest.

Speaker 3

Yeah, I mean I can't really speak for you know every veteran that everyone has different type of disabilities or what they suffer. But I would say the resources there, whether we took advantage of it, you know, I guess it's up to the individual. So I know, speaking in, you know, in my experience I did, but I also was one of those soldiers that we just dealt with it, you know. So that's one of the things we learned. Well, I was in the army. What I've learned in the army is we just drive on with the pain or whatever it is, we'll figure it out and we'll push through, but see back then, you know, I looked at it as a sign of weakness. So if I felt like I was not giving my all, even if I had something broken or something, then I feel like I'm feeling not just myself, my squad, but that was just programming in my head.

Speaker 1

Well, everyone's probably head.

Dealing With Symptoms Daily

Speaker 3

But then pushing through pain and pushing through, you know you got to know your limits. You know now I didn't listen to my body so I was pushing through. Even I should have been, like you know, sitting down and resting and healing, but no, and so I think the more that I push through my pain, it, you know, it definitely helps, but it definitely made a difference going forward later on.

Speaker 1

In what way?

Speaker 3

Well, I just think that there's more injuries that later on, if you're not taking care of yourself, or if you're not eating well, if you're not sleeping well, if you're not taking care of your body, your body would do the work for you. If you're not doing those necessary things to help your body, your body is do the work for you. You know, if you're not doing those necessary things to help your body, your body shut down. You know, but okay, so we're not going to do this, okay. And then next, you know, there's more injuries or more impact to you know, different body parts or so okay, how um I?

Speaker 1

don't know if that makes any sense, or Well, it does, I think, a lot of at least my impression has, and I'm not in the military, but it's always been like the military has this suck it up buttercup attitude, like you're saying yeah, exactly, general that. That's one of the things that I've heard before. I've heard people say that to my kids. You know, like suck it up, man up. I think was another way to say it.

Speaker 1

Walk it off, shake it off. Yeah, I think that adds value sometimes. I think that's appropriate. Sometimes people need that. But when you're talking about this kind of stuff and not really knowing how to navigate through what's happening in your own body, that's not the right answer. But I think that just seems like that's what a lot of people with military experience have said. I don't know that it's changed at all or if it's still the same, but it sounds to me like the resources that you've had.

Speaker 1

you've had to go out and solicit yourself to get this team together and, you know, be able to identify what's going on with you and medicate if you know. I don't know, I don't know what the answer is, but I know that a lot of people have had, they've been thrown medication here, fix this problem kind of a thing, and a lot of that was PTSD, you know from some of the things they've been through. How do you feel that your injury or transition back into civilian life has impacted, or has it impacted, your relationships with personal relationships, work relationships, things like that? How has your adjustment been?

Speaker 3

It's been difficult. I mean, I'm not going to lie, it's been definitely. It's one of those things that I look back on and I try to, you know, figure out, could I have done something different? But it affected a lot of my personal relationships. I'm not going to say like the's name, but it just kind of sticks out, even when I was going to receive help and talk to a therapist. I've known this person for seven or nine years as friends and we tried dating. I was talking to a therapist and it was like two hours like outside and, um, you know, she asked me you know who are you talking to? And I told her and I said, oh, you know, she's like okay, like what were y'all talking about? And I told her I was struggling. So when she found out I had, you know, ptsd, the first thing she said was oh my gosh, are you going to shoot up a movie theater? And I thought like no, it's just one of those things that.

Speaker 3

I just think that people there's different levels of PTSD and you don't have to be in the military to have PTSD. So and I think there's it is more associated with military.

Speaker 3

And so they think that, oh, you're going to go crazy because you have this and I'm like no, as long as you're doing the work and you're taking care of yourself, and you're doing it for yourself, your family, your friends. You know, like I said, there's different levels of PTSD. You know, I haven't served in, like I haven't been to Iraq, you know, or so, but I was still in Bosnia, you know, and I will say that those are the soldiers that actually need that guidance. You know, to like make sure that when they get back from the tour, you know, make sure that you know they are getting that assistance and I don't, like I said, I'm not them.

Speaker 2

I don't know if they receive assistance like they should, but you know, that's what I was going to ask is if they have those things available, ongoing and readily available for people.

PTSD Misconceptions

Speaker 2

Yeah, but just listening to what you were just saying, it just makes me think of life in general and I think a very important thing that you just said was continuing to do the work yourself, and you can liken that to addiction, you can liken that to relationships, you can liken that to mental, emotional, so many different things that are in life, and I think I don't know as this again just an outsider's perspective in thinking about that. I think, unfortunately, the media tends to make it seem like just like that PTSD example that you were saying that it's always a lot of times associated with that, which is why people think that disabled vets are always just like got their hands out, like they need to be given everything deserving. I'm not saying that, just that a lot of times media's perspective on things is very one-sided, that we see instead of positive things that are going on to assist in the ongoing recovery of our you know veterans out there.

Speaker 1

There's a lot, I think, that's taken for granted.

Speaker 1

I mean, we're talking about human beings that are going into like these tours that you're talking about. Like these tours that you're talking about, you had one. There's guys that I think it's a different. It's a different kind of personality that goes and wants to go back to that two or three times. It's just maybe a type of personality you know that is wants that adrenaline rush or is in there and they're very military, like they're going to be lifers for military. That's just their role. How do you just your personal perception on everything now, having been out for a while and seeing you know what's going on in our world and what kind of support in general we have for our veterans? Do you feel like there's enough out there or that it's readily available to veterans?

Speaker 3

To be honest, it's never enough. I mean to be, like you say, human beings, you know, and the things that what I experienced and no other people have experienced from the start, you know, is I just feel like it's kind of like okay, come on here, let me patch you up and then send you on your way, and then collecting dollars. So I still struggle now, like I struggle with speech, I struggle with memory loss, I have slurred speech sometimes on vision problems. It's like the list goes on and on. If I was to sit there and list all the symptoms and everything you know, people would think I'd be a walking time bomb.

Speaker 1

I'm like no, it's not it. How do you deal with it? Is it just stuff that you just have learned to adjust to.

Speaker 3

Yes, except the headaches.

Speaker 1

I know the headaches are really have become really severe.

Speaker 3

Right oh.

Speaker 1

Is that more like when you're really stressed out that it becomes worse, or is it? Or is it just all the time, not even?

Speaker 3

so I'm learning this new thing now, like in the past couple years, that because of the allergies now that I'm getting, they're more sinus related. Well, if you have a traumatic brain injury, well that's affected as well. So therefore, there's times I'm, you know, taking allergy medication and next, you know, I gotta take this type of medication for that symptom. So it's like sometimes it's like okay today, what are we going to deal with today, you know, but I still gotta have like, why am I doing what? You know, when I wake up in the morning, you know, I kind of change my perspective. Different things I've.

Speaker 3

I would say that has happened to me in the past that I now know like this version of me is the best version because I can take that pain and disappointment and suffering and try to challenge something positive. Suffering and try to challenge something positive, so with me coaching, football and personal training, and also trying to like be an advocate for those others that doesn't have a voice, that's my drive and that's my motivation. So, even when I'm suffering or I'm going through like a moment or a weak point, that's my motivation to basically um.

Speaker 2

You're continuing.

Speaker 3

You're continuing to suck it up? Yeah, absolutely.

Homelessness After Service

Speaker 2

Yeah, but but in a very different way right. In a in a in a healing sort of way, which is helping to heal all of those symptoms that you are suffering with. So that's interesting perspective and very positive one. I'm sure there's plenty of people who find that well. I'm sure it's challenging for you to do that, and it's a decision that you, I'm assuming, make every single day.

Speaker 2

It's a decision that you, I'm assuming, make every single day. So that is challenging for people, just like working out and everything else we got to do. It most when we don't want to is when it's going to help us, so very admirable.

Speaker 3

Thank you. I will say I've been in service. I mean, even when I was in the reserves, I was homeless People. I was homeless, you know people wouldn't think like you're in a reserve, how are you homeless? Well, it happens, you know. So there's different things. I've been in dark places here and there. So without my family and my friends, like to be honest, I wouldn't even know, like how would I even get past through, you know, a lot of obstacles, but it was definitely some struggles, like and that's the crazy part.

Speaker 2

Just just you've gone through homelessness. No veteran, nobody, deserves to go through homelessness. But you know the veterans of the USA who commit and give up so much of their life for to fight for the freedom. I know this sounds so cliche, but it's. You know we're talking to one right now yeah, and give up all those things and go through lifelong repercussions as a result, so that I can get up freely every day and go get my coffee and do nothing if I want. Right, none of y'all should be homeless ever for the sacrifices that are made there. So that's just that. That's where it's crazy.

Speaker 1

Like and you see our homeless population. You know because you've you've been in Washington, you know he was based here for a while back in the day, a long time ago. But our homeless population is ridiculous and the vast majority of the people we see, like when you see signs it says disabled vet or oh, there's a lot of people out there that are just really struggling and maybe they don't know where to get the resources or maybe the resources aren't available. But the impression I have is once the military is kind of done with them, they just kind of are done and then they just have to deal with it on their own there's not a lot of resources available, and maybe there are resources, but I kind of wonder how available they are.

Speaker 2

Is there anything you can share with us for anybody listening that maybe is in the military or has gone through the struggles or I don't know? Just a little something that might help somebody similar, just a little antidote, if you will. I don't know if you do and we can. We're not live, so if I'm putting you on the spot and you want time to think, think, this can be cut out and we don't have to ask the question. But if you got something, we would love to hear it well, one do the work I was.

Speaker 3

I would definitely give the advice to veterans, civilians, like if you're struggling with something, please do the work in yourself. Like, take care of your mental. That is so important. It starts there. You'd be surprised.

Speaker 2

And that doesn't make you soft. No, it doesn't make you strong, I know yeah.

Finding Purpose Through Coaching

Speaker 3

Yeah, but that's the thing you hear about. Someone like talking to a therapist oh my gosh, he must be crazy, you know or medicating, or so, like everybody's different. So, but you definitely have to do the work. If you're not doing it for yourself, do it for your family, do it for your friends, you know just, you have to do the work because, like we all these you know, are struggling with something in our life or, you know, a traumatic event in our life. So definitely do the work in yourself.

Speaker 2

It's worth it.

Speaker 1

Definitely yeah, it's definitely worth it and I'm hoping the headaches get better, because I know that's well. Do you feel like that, like spending your time and energy with things like the things you love, you know, like coaching football, for example? It's like you love that, obviously, and you're very good at it and you've got a whole following of kids and stuff from the high school. Does that kind of divert your attention in a way to where maybe it's helping with the headaches?

Speaker 3

It does, but I do have a story. So last week we're getting ready for spring training and so I'm a running back coach uh, local high school here and uh, I was doing my running back drills and one of the kids was hiking the ball too low and when I turned around, kid elbowed me right in the head. So I don't know if you can see that knot. It's like right here and you know, and I'm like oh my god, it's like right here you know, and I'm like, oh my gosh, like do I really need another setback?

Speaker 3

like for so? But even just doing something you you know you love to do, I mean things gonna happen, but no, it's uh, I'm inspired. You know I go there, I look at them and you know I talk with other coaches. It's something I love to do. You know, I played football for 26 years. I coached for 14 years, so I just have the love for the game. So it's just one of those things that you know I put all my troubles and my stress and I just leave it in the parking lot and then, I go into this different mindset, like you know.

Speaker 3

I know it sounds like oh man, this guy's like no, trust me, there's times that I didn't want to do anything. I've stayed in the house for like three, four weeks then, so I went through that process.

Speaker 1

So it's just again yeah, it just starts mentally like yeah, so so thinking about like advice, like michelle had said, like for other vets, you had said just doing the work, doing the work. Is there anything else that you think we could share, especially with, say, for example, the spouses of those individuals or their significant others that might be helpful in supporting them?

Speaker 3

I would say that it would well. At the time when I was going through it, it would have been nice. If you know, my significant other actually learned exactly what I was going through. And so educating themselves, you know. And being there for them because that's important too themselves, you know. And and being there for them because that's important to you know, being there for your loved one when you're struggling, and so when the spouse or your dependence is not there, I mean you can only imagine, like what they're thinking, you know they're thinking that they're doing this on their own or they don't have like the drive to do it because they don't have the support.

Speaker 3

So if you're a spouse or dependent, like definitely support like what that person is doing, because not everyone can do it, you know? Do you feel like?

Speaker 1

you did you share what was going on with you, so your significant under couldn't significant other could understand what was happening or do you? Feel like they just didn't have a grasp.

Speaker 3

Yeah, I think that's what it was, and you know I'm not going to throw any shade. You know she's probably just didn't know. Yeah, she probably just didn't know, and that was the first thing that she was thinking. So a lot of it that you know. Sometimes, you know, when you talk about showing support, well, then you have to ask yourself, well, how can I?

Speaker 1

show. What does that look like?

Speaker 3

yeah, you know. So if you never experienced it, you know, then how would you know to look for it?

Speaker 2

are we back to communication?

Advice For Veterans And Families

Speaker 1

so much damn communication that has to do with every relationship and situation yeah yeah, just being, and just being open to the fact that you know there's shit going on with people yeah.

Speaker 2

And it's not always going to be, you know, comfortable. There's got to be sacrifice on you know, I'm sure sacrifice I'm sure you've dealt with family members sacrificing and time, resources just different things to be able to help you in your own situation as they should. That's what families do and significant other spouses, all of us.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

All of us, so yeah.

Speaker 1

So did you have any closing thoughts?

Speaker 3

So I am going to be starting a podcast.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 3

Hopefully in the near future, thanks to you too, because I listen to your episodes and I'm like, ah, I'm motivated, like this is nice, like I could do this, so. So I'm thinking about like um, what type of audience or so, and then, um, I don't know, like okay. So the question would be like wouldn't be just start a podcast? What would be like wouldn't be just on a podcast.

Speaker 1

What would be what?

Speaker 3

no, the question like to you um, what made y'all start? No, what made you start what?

Speaker 1

made us start. Yeah, the pandemic, it was actually pre-pandemic.

Speaker 2

Yeah, it was before the pandemic julie is julie, she's. She hatched this idea in her head and presented it to me, and then we just kind of willy nilly were talking about this was in like 2019 we didn't start it until 2023 yeah this is our third season 22 so there were the pandemic things and flood things and just different situations that you know, but just like Julia's a dog with a bone, she just didn't let it go and we were starting a podcast. I'm like OK let's go.

Speaker 1

She's like I'm coming along for the ride. I need a blonde with me.

Speaker 3

Oh wow, she came up with the name actually.

Speaker 1

Half the thing is the name and your cover art, and then, anyway, we'll talk about this because I told you I'd help you okay let's do this, though.

Speaker 2

Uh, so, uh, you're thinking of starting a podcast. Yes, let's ask our listeners, those that have listened to the episode today, if you have any input or thought on what you think mr Walker should either subject matter or do a podcast on All different kinds of things. Sounds like he's a coach, he's a mentor, he lifts weights, he's gone through all this military stuff. There's like a whole bunch of things that he could talk about, so it could be the subject specific or it could be a wide variety of things. So if you have any thoughts on that that listeners, please let us know.

Speaker 3

Yeah, please.

Speaker 1

Yeah, we appreciate your time and, as you know, everybody.

Podcast Plans And Final Thoughts

Speaker 2

We are out on all the socials, so if you haven't checked it out already, please do go to YouTube and subscribe and follow. As well as Facebook, tiktok, instagram. We're out there, like, share, follow. You know all the things. Download all the podcast platforms. She's our social gal, so we appreciate all the support so far and just can't wait to see how the community continues so on that note.

Speaker 1

On that note, thanks again, jay, and uh, I guess we will be chatting with everybody next week. Oh wait, oh wait, oh wait, where's the ring the bell?

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, it's over there.

Speaker 3

Okay, so we have I'll cut this part out.

Speaker 1

You know I can pause this.

Speaker 3

I can't see it.

Speaker 1

We have this one little segment at the end.

Speaker 2

Yeah, Okay, wait. So I'm ringing the bell, all right, oh yeah.

Speaker 3

I'm ringing the bell, that's right.

Speaker 2

So are you ready for this question?

Speaker 3

Okay.

Speaker 2

FWB. Do we know what that means? Oh yeah, what is it? Because? Friends with bacon? Well, maybe, but friends with benefits? How do we feel about that is? Is that an? Is that an okay thing, or what do we think?

Speaker 1

we're gonna let you answer first I don't know.

Speaker 3

I think I'm like digging myself like in a hole right here if I answer that question why, because, like I don't know, maybe not the best question with me, I know.

Speaker 2

It was just one we did recently and we couldn't use it and it was top of mind, so that's why it was just fresh.

Speaker 1

So what do you think about the whole concept of friends with benefits? Do you think it's a legitimate thing? Do you feel comfortable with it? How would you do it?

Speaker 3

How would you do it? I don't believe in it, to be honest. But again, it's one of those things that when you open up another segment on that and people views I was always against it I mean I can't say, I didn't experience. It Could be convenient, yeah.

Speaker 2

I had a friend. I knew this gal once this was years ago too and I never even knew there was such a thing as like friends with benefits, right, but we would commute to work every once in a while and we're driving along. She's telling me how, because she lives in a duplex. How, cause she lives in a duplex. There's this guy that lives on the other side and she's on the other side and you know every once in a while that she would just be hey you want to.

Speaker 2

Yeah and yeah, sure I'll be right over and I'm like what I mean it's?

Speaker 1

kind of a perfect scenario.

Speaker 2

I mean that is a perfect scenario. But I just was like, wow, you just like go do that. But see, I was married at the time, so not really a concept that I was familiar with and I got married young, so it wasn't really everything I ever did.

Speaker 1

I didn't even know what it was either.

Speaker 2

The first time I saw the acronym FWB you thought it was. I thought it was fat white bitch. I was like, yep, that's me.

Speaker 3

Oh my gosh of my sons.

Speaker 2

He schooled me.

Speaker 3

See, everybody has a different definition. So now that I can understand, you know, if we're on the same page, because a lot of times when people think of fwb, friends with benefits they think of well, they just come over, you know, scratch your itch and then that's it. I don't look at it like that. I look at it that you know it's all about a title. I feel like you can do the same thing with that friend as if you was in a relationship without the title. Wouldn't it still be a friend, friends with benefits, if you're not in a relationship? If you're was in a relationship without the title, wouldn't it still be a friend, friends with benefits?

Speaker 1

if you're not in a relationship, if you're not in a relationship, but you did relationship things together still a friend and that's the benefit of it.

Speaker 3

You're just taking out the yeah or the the feelings part or the the title relationship boyfriend girlfriend, or you know you can still do the same things. I don't right that's why I said, like it's kind of like a gray area, because, like, if I look at it like that and take away the title and still have that as long as we're, you know, both on the same page who needs that title?

Speaker 2

right there, you just come up with your own scenario on whatever that is there you go, go. I'm good with that.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I'm good with that. I have no idea where you guys are going with this, I got you. He's dancing around the question no.

Speaker 2

How? I don't think so. I totally get what you're saying. Right, I totally get what you're saying.

Speaker 3

Just take away your boyfriend, girlfriend, right, right, okay, right Okay. So because with your significant other, that's your friend, right, that's your best friend.

Speaker 1

So if you're doing everything that you do with that friend as if he was in a relationship, that's the whole idea with friends with benefits is that you can do that with multiple people, or you have the ability to, because you don't have a commitment or you're not like locked down. That's what friends with benefits is Right.

Speaker 3

Yeah, but you're taking away the emotional part, like you're saying you're not catching feelings for them, you're right.

Speaker 2

It's pretty much just so I can have sex with somebody that I really adore anytime I want and not have any expectations.

Speaker 3

There you go.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 1

Yeah, there we go.

Speaker 2

On expectations. There you go. Yeah, there we go. On that note, people, we're not going to go any deeper, we are going to say thanks for listening. Mr Walker, thank you so much for being a guest on our show.

Speaker 3

Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2

Listeners. If you have any suggestions on what his podcast could be, please let us know.

Speaker 1

And until next, time, and if you want to be his friends with benefits, you can just DM me.

Speaker 2

You can let us that know too. Go ahead and slide into the DMs Blom, Burnett and Mike At gmailcom. Okay.

Speaker 1

All right, see you later.

Speaker 2

Bye, bye.