A Blonde A Brunette and a Mic
Look forward to time with these two women who have life experience and something to say! Join us each week as we dive into topics that may be raw, unfiltered, funny and even a little controversial. Whatever we discuss will give you our perspective, get you thinking and will keep you coming back for more!
A Blonde A Brunette and a Mic
Episode 112: The Unexpected Path: How a DUI Changed My Life for the Better
What happens when a fitness model and IFBB professional athlete who volunteered for Mothers Against Drunk Drivers finds herself arrested for a DUI? Elise Morgan's powerful, candid journey reveals the unexpected twists life can take with just one decision.
With raw vulnerability, Elise takes us through every humiliating step – from field sobriety tests and handcuffs to overnight jail stays and courtroom appearances. The emotional and financial aftermath ($10,000+ in legal fees) transformed her life in ways she never imagined. Forced to install a breathalyzer in her vehicle for a year, Elise faced daily reminders of her mistake while driving her children to activities.
Yet what begins as a cautionary tale evolves into something profoundly inspirational. Through mandatory alcohol education classes, Elise discovered her passion for helping others transform their lives through mindset work – launching her current career as a life coach, author, and podcast host. Even more remarkably, a breathalyzer mishap during a date led her to meet the man who would become her husband!
This conversation goes beyond simple warnings about drinking and driving to explore deeper questions about redemption, purpose, and finding unexpected gifts in our darkest moments. Michele, Jules, and Elise discuss generational shifts in attitudes toward alcohol, the prevalence of "wine mom" culture, and the simple wisdom of planning ahead with rideshare services. Their authentic exchange reminds us that while we all make mistakes, with the right mindset, our lowest moments can become the foundation for our greatest growth.
I'm Michelle the blonde hey there and I'm Jules the brunette. Join us as we dive into all of the juicy topics like dating, women's health, sex politics, relationships and everything in between.
Speaker 2:We each have our own unique perspective and don't always see eye to eye, but that just makes our conversations that much more interesting.
Speaker 1:That's right. So if you're looking for a podcast that's both entertaining and honest, I think we've got you covered. See eye to eye. But that just makes our conversations that much more interesting. That's right. So if you're looking for a podcast that's both entertaining and honest, I think we've got you covered Two authentic women, both with real talk.
Speaker 1:Let's go. Welcome everyone. We are so thrilled to have a guest here today with us, elise Morgan. Hello, elise, hello, thank you so much for having me. Yes, michelle is going to do an intro for you, just to make sure we get it all exactly right.
Speaker 2:So excited to have you here. And yes, she has a wealth of knowledge and experience all the kinds. So I don't want to miss a beat when I do this introduction here for her, because she is a former personal trainer, fitness model and IFBB professional athlete, turned life coach, author, speaker and podcast host with a bold and sassy, yet compassionate, approach to personal empowerment. I love that. With a master's degree from the School of Hard Knocks and certifications in life coaching, nlp and sacred ceremonies, elise is dedicated to helping individuals break free from limiting beliefs and unlock their true potential Through mindset coaching, personal spiritual growth and transformation. Elise leads you on a journey to awaken your soul, embrace your authentic self and navigate life's challenges with confidence.
Speaker 1:Who doesn't want?
Speaker 2:that right.
Speaker 1:I do Sign me up, right yeah?
Speaker 2:So first before we move on, I just want to ask a couple of things, because some of our listeners might not know what IFBB stands for. So first, let's just a brief explanation of that.
Speaker 3:Okay, it stands for the International Federation of Bodybuilding. It's the mother of all what would you call that Groups for all the fitness stuff, that's the major league one.
Speaker 2:Very cool.
Speaker 3:And then NLP. Nlp is Neuro Linguistic Programming, and what that really is in layman's term is we have pathways in our brain and it helps us to how we think, and NLP helps us to change our neuro pathways so that we have a more positive outlook. Let's say so. It's like having a pattern of thinking is a pathway. That's like a layman's term. Sure I love that we are all about positive.
Speaker 1:So today we have Elise has agreed to speak with us on kind of an interesting topic. Well, I reached out to find someone who had had a DUI experience from their perspective not being the person who was I would say, a victim, I guess you could say of DUI, and also being a woman. This is something that we thought would be really important to bring to our audience, because we've all had those experiences where we have been in circumstances where we've had a drink or had two or whatever, and had to make decisions about what we were doing. So we would love to hear your story and share it with others and what you learned from that, because we're hoping that that will be something we can take to our listeners, that they will learn something from.
Speaker 3:So welcome and thank you. Thank you, I'm glad to be here too to give all the different perspectives and then to go back to what I do, how to remain positive throughout this experience. And, you know, kudos to you guys, because the first time I'm telling my story in public.
Speaker 1:I love it, thank you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, free from, for my listeners, you know, they'll. You know this is. It was just something that I kept close to the vest for various reasons and I'm ready to, you know, be able to speak about it.
Speaker 1:So I don't appreciate that. We feel very honored that you are, because it's a big deal, you know, it's life experience and we all go through stuff. So it's good that you're ready and we are really, really willing to hear.
Speaker 2:So I have a close friend to your point keeping it close to the vest. I was just telling her yesterday that you were going to be on today and share your story and she's been through the same thing. She's a mom and all of the stuff, and it's never anything that you expect to happen.
Speaker 3:No, you don't expect it, especially in my, and I'll tell the story. You guys, let me know if you want to do it more as a question and answer, if you want me to just roll with it, because in hindsight there's a lot of humor to my story and of course, the subject matter is not humorous whatsoever. But what happened to me in the end of the day? I make humor out of everything. So for me, first and foremost, I want to make sure the listeners know and everyone that knows me knows, that I'm not an advocate that you should drink and drive. I think that's something you should not be doing and in fact I volunteered for Mothers Against Drunk Drivers. I mean, I was one of those people that were, for the most part, pretty, you know, made sure that you didn't do that, you know even you know one drink, you know.
Speaker 3:You know when you're older, one drink, you know, whatever. But I was pretty big on not drinking and driving, so it's not like you're. I want the listeners to hear that we hear about DWI. It's not somebody that has like 15 suspended licenses and they have all these problems which that could be, but it could be just your everyday mom who made a mistake. And so I'll try and condense my story, because I tend to tell my stories really long and funny.
Speaker 3:But so, bottom line, I was driving my, riding a jet ski that day and friends of mine were playing volleyball somewhere on the beach and I went to go watch them and I usually did not drink, even socially, because I was competing. I just didn't. You know, you didn't. You know that was something I always like to drink. You know, like have a glass of wine with dinner and stuff like that, but you're really refrained, you're not drinking if you're competing. Yeah, and that particular day, I think I was starting a competition diet or whatever it was the next day, and the friends were like, come to the bar, it's our friend's birthday. And I was like I knew I was going to be there for a long time and I wound't.
Speaker 3:I was dieting all the time and you think like, oh, that won't be that strong, so, whatever it was, I had that and maybe, like, I think, a shot and that was it, and I and I've drank in my lifetime and, as I'm sitting there, I got. Can we curse on here, cause?
Speaker 2:I'm from New York.
Speaker 3:I got, I got, I got fucked up, like I was really fucked up. And I remember texting friends and saying like I'm really messed up and I, we and at that point my friends and I made a plan to have a designated driver. So this is the fun. This is one of the beginning part of the funny story. That's not really funny. So here I am, getting you know, making arrangements for a designated driver to pick us up on the other side Cause you had to get your jet skis over there. And of course, when you're buzzed or pretty messed up, you're not making the best decisions. So one of the people that I was with I was the passenger now on my jet ski to get to the other side, Because now I don't want to drive my jet ski, I'm not feeling that I should, right, so you get driven to the other side and when we got there, just automatic pilot I got off the jet ski, went and got my car to pull into the boat ramp to get my jet ski Because in my mind I'm not driving.
Speaker 3:In my mind I'm like I'm just getting my jet ski out of the water so I can park and get picked up by my designated driver. Got it? So that's the thought process. So when I got into the boat ramp I was having a problem backing up to go get the jet ski. I don't know if anyone's listening that ever drove a boat trailer. It's the opposite of what you think. I did not think. To put my ass up.
Speaker 3:So I'm like going back and forth very slow because it's a boat ramp, to try and get my jet ski out. Now, with that, there's a bar restaurant very close to where the boat ramp is, and as I'm like going back and forth with this thing and I'm getting so pissed like I couldn't do it the right way, I remember sitting there, you know, just frustrated, and all of a sudden I hear a commotion by the side of my car and I'm like what's going on? So I get out of my car and you have to remember, even though I was, I'm not falling on the floor, I'm not, you know, like Right, right You're buzzed, yeah, you buzz.
Speaker 3:I get out and I see this lady laying on the side of like there's a hill that comes down to where the boat ramp is and she's laying there. So I think she fell because there's a lot of people that are drunk walking around, whatever. So I'm like oh my God, oh my God, are you okay? And it was like three women even older than me and then started screaming at me. You fucking bitch Like just started screaming. And I was like, and I have no idea. I'm like oh my God, what's going on? Then the police, the police, are always there in that parking lot.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 3:Right, because it's a bar restaurant. Police come and I'm like, oh shit, I ran and get my license. I'm in a frigging you know tank top and shorts, bathing suit, and I just know that now I'm a little nervous because I did drink. You know what I mean. Next thing, I know I'm in the-.
Speaker 3:Oh, the field sobriety test the field sobriety. I couldn't think of the words. Next thing, I know I'm in the middle of doing that and I remember like the guy I was with was like something like don't blow. I've never been arrested.
Speaker 1:Have you ever heard a guy say that oh sorry, oh yeah, well, that's the thing.
Speaker 3:That's part of the fun of this whole thing. We're going to get to the funny part, but that's one of them Like don't glow and you're like I had no idea what was going on. And my ex-husband was a police officer and did fields of body tests and I remember him a little bit saying like don't you know whatever, so I'm doing a fields of body test.
Speaker 1:Obviously failed it.
Speaker 3:And then you get the handcuffs put on you and you're so ashamed Like I remember being like, oh my God, and I remember them being so tight. You know like please, can you make these looser on the police officer? Like no, you know whatever. And then you go to the. I've never been in that situation. You're like you're handcuffed to a table. I'm freezing because you're wet. Really, I was just on a jet ski, so horrible.
Speaker 3:So I remember them saying you get a phone call. So in my head I was like well, who has my car? Because, knowing me, I probably would have called my son. He was probably only 16, but so responsible but I wanted to know where the car was. So the police officer put me on the phone with a girl that I didn't even know because he had her number and she's like I'm friends with Joe, one of the friends I was with that was arranging for the designated driver. She's like I'm friends with him, we have your car, we have his house, it's parked. I'm like great. So I go to say okay, I'm going to call my son. And the police was like nope, that was your first phone call.
Speaker 3:I'm like, but I didn't tell you to call that person, I just asked you where my car was. So that was like that. And I remember crying. I was so crying because he's like they have to ask you three times if you'll blow in that breathalyzer. I remember like being brainwashed Don't do it, don't do it. And then I'm asking him. I'm crying, I'm like what should I do? And he's like I can't tell you what to do and I finally just blow. I blow into the breathalyzer and he was just, it was just like. He was just so mean to me but I wound up doing that. I got driven to a cell and you're there overnight and it was just. You know, you're not in that situation. You're like you said, you're like just mom, you know.
Speaker 3:I'm not a prude, but I also was never arrested before, and then the other cells. You hear the women. They're all talking to each other. That's like the weekend. That's how they spend their weekends. Every weekend you could tell like oh, I never got arrested in this precinct before. Like who am I with?
Speaker 1:Did you have your own space?
Speaker 3:Yes At that point I did. And then you wake up and they you know, I don't know what's going on they wake up, they take you in a chain gang and I'll never forget no way. There was like a plexiglass window and I remember seeing my reflection in this window and I'm like I just can't believe this.
Speaker 1:Do they put you at least in, like an orange jumpsuit or something, or are you still? Wearing your bikini.
Speaker 3:Thank God I usually wear bikinis and thank God that day typical me, I felt fat, which I guarantee you I was not. I would kill to look like that now. I wore a tank top and shorts. So thankfully, because then I would have been in a bikini. You know, I just remember being humiliated. But just to let the listeners know, because of my background at that point, I've been really into personal development, personal growth. I was just very calm and I just knew that everything, no matter what everything's going to be okay.
Speaker 3:You know, this is just the situation I'm in and speaking about my outfit, the back of my shorts said heartbreaker on them. So that was that was fun. That was fun going to jail with heartbreaker on my ass.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean so.
Speaker 3:But so, to condense it, you know you're now, you're, I guess, in a holding cell to be taken before a judge and I guess, because what I was wearing, I was put separate so that you're in this big cell but I was in like a separate one again, thankfully. And then I guess an advocate for the court comes to talk to everyone and everyone's getting like this young hip, you know lawyer, and I get this guy. I swear to God, he was probably 85 years old and he's asking me, you know, for two people to, I guess, come and get you whatever it was. And I gave him and you have to remember, do you know anyone's phone number?
Speaker 1:It's very hard.
Speaker 3:And then do the people that you know the phone number. They're the ones that are going to come bail you out of jail. I don't know. I have to know the phone number to call. Call this one last was my ex-husband. And so then everyone, it gets better. So then everyone's getting their lawyer coming back and they're getting their name called and they're getting taken out.
Speaker 3:And here I am waiting and waiting, and waiting, and here comes my old man and I'm like what's going on? He's like, well, I didn't get anyone. I left messages. I'm like, well, what does that mean? You left messages. I'm sitting here waiting to get out. Next thing I know I get called. I'm like, oh, thank God, somebody's bailing me out, somebody's bailing me out or whatever you have to do, pay money. So then they take me and all of a sudden I'm being taken out to the prison bus. I'm like, holy shit, I remember them putting me on this prison bus with the other prisoners in a separate thing there too, and I get taken out to the county jail.
Speaker 3:And now I'm in jail and I'm getting processed and I kept asking what's going on. I don't understand. I'm on the prison bus and we're driving to jail and I'm like I really didn't have anything. I have no idea what's going on, but, like I said, calm, always saying like this is no matter what, I'm going to be okay and like just very positive. If you will, you get to the jail. And I've never been there. I mean it's you don't want to go there, you do not want to go and this is just jail. Jail is I forgot?
Speaker 1:there's jail and prison.
Speaker 3:Like county jail, at least in New York. If it's under a year, you go to this place, and it's over a year, you go to a prison. So you go there, you get processed I'm talking animals in there.
Speaker 1:It's animals, so it's all women in here. Is this a women's? So this is a co-ed, just like the county jail.
Speaker 3:Well, this is a co-ed holding middle, the middle lobby, if you will. And there, like all these guys in one cell and I'm wearing heartbreaker shorts, mind you.
Speaker 2:So like it is just.
Speaker 3:I was, I didn't know where to put myself and they, they were trying to like, put me by, like a steel beam or whatever, be getting processed and I don't know what's going on. Then they take me to a place where it is all women and the two sheriffs that were there, the women, they were very heavy set and whatever, and they just-.
Speaker 1:They didn't like you, they didn't like me.
Speaker 3:They didn't like you. Nope, they showed it and everybody said I always look younger than I am. And back then I probably did. This is almost like 10 years ago. They were pointing at my age and pointing and then they would just they didn't like me, they. I never was so happy to put on a prison suit because I was so cold well, your clothes had been wet and everything.
Speaker 3:I could not wait they had. I didn't care, I put that stuff on, I was so happy. And then they're like you can make a phone call.
Speaker 1:So I think I called my ex, I called my ex-husband at that point you're just like I don't care, I'm calling the ex yeah, or maybe they told me that he got the phone call previously, so I was so confused and I remember calling him.
Speaker 3:And the joke is he's like oh, I never got a call from a prisoner before, because if a prisoner makes a call, the recording is prisoner number 4560.
Speaker 3:Oh my God. So I'm like, can you help me? Whatever he said, and I remember crying. Whatever he said, and I remember crying and I think he said he asked my brother. He couldn't do it. He was upstate New York, he just couldn't do it. So he, like, was trying to arrange somebody to come and get me. And what the clincher was that I was really mad at him for is that the night before he found out what happened and that I had been taken to jail. And I was like why didn't you do anything? Like he could have, like you know, been there in the morning, whatever. And he's like I didn't think you wanted me to know. Well, all right, maybe that's true, I have no idea, I'm not going to bash him right now.
Speaker 1:So did your family know where you were overnight?
Speaker 3:Nobody. So let's go back to that. I'm glad you had that question because my son, who also has a boating license and also he was 16 at the time you know, you know to tell people where you are. It's part of the voting thing. So my son is looking all over for me and that's how my ex-husband found out, because they go to the boat ramp, mom's not home. What's going on? You know? My son thought I'm dead, yeah I guess my ex-husband was like.
Speaker 3:he was a police officer himself so he's like acquiring, I guess, hospitals and I found that I got locked up and sure piece of him like that. But I'm not sure. But at that point I don't know anything. I don't know what anybody knows and what anyone doesn't know. I'm literally in jail and I remember no offense to these people but you're with the drug of society. I didn't see too many people that didn't look like they were there a lot of the time. I knew I was going to get out of it but I was getting processed. Then I was shown where I was going to sleep and I couldn't understand. Because I know the law, I know that you're going to get out. It's not like you go to jail for this.
Speaker 3:You get out on bail and you have to show up in court in a couple of months, whatever it may be, and I'm like, going up to each like officer, at each thing I had to go to First you had to go to the infirmary and then you had to go to get shot. I'm like what is going on? And I'm like excuse me, sir, I don't think I'm supposed to be here. And he's like and he did say there was something in my next time I named the system that they weren't sure what was going on. But obviously they have to keep processing. She's just still getting processed. It was horrible because you're not really sure what's going on. Let's fast forward. They probably got a call that I'm getting picked up, whatever it may be. I don't know who's coming to get me, I don't know anything. And when I was going to get released, they have me with this other girl who's all tatted up and she's pregnant. And I'm saying to the guy who's picking me up and he's like I don't know, they're not very nice.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 3:I don't blame them. They're around, they're just in. Their work is horrible. They're not here to like, make you feel better. Like, oh, let me check to see who's picking you up. They just so. Then she's like you can come with me and I'm like I know what you want You're like.
Speaker 1:oh, hail to the. No, I didn't know.
Speaker 3:I just remember you know getting your phone. I don't know why I had my phone because it was wet. So they gave me the phone and I thought it was just not charged and I asked him can I charge my phone for like a minute so I can call somebody? They're like nope, not even allowed to stay in that lobby area. You have to leave, like leave the premises.
Speaker 3:So I'm leaving the premises. You know, I was back in my wet clothes. It just, it was just horrible, and I remember walking out and seeing my ex-husband, his best friend, who I used to be also be friends with.
Speaker 3:It could have been my ex-husband I probably would have been like on him hysterical crying, holding on to him, and he was just like oh, you smell like a skell Cause he was a police officer. He's like oh, I'm like. I was in jail. It was so humiliating because you know you didn't like. I take full responsibility that you shouldn't drink at all. But in my lifetime I've had one or two waited hours, drank. The water didn't feel buzzed at all before you got into a vehicle.
Speaker 3:As an adult. As a kid, you made stupid mistakes. Sure, I didn't know what the hell was going on. As I was sitting in the cell, I was like did anyone spike my drink on? I didn't know, you know, as I was sitting in the cell, I was like did anyone spike my drink?
Speaker 1:You know you start to think all these things because I literally was like I was pretty messed up for the amount of alcohol. It's because you were preparing for your competition. So you probably didn't have anything you know.
Speaker 3:a huge substance in your system, even yeah it was that too, but just for the listeners, it's a mistake of. You know, not everyone's a bad person because they had a DWI.
Speaker 2:Here's what happened as well, and I want to bring this to everyone's attention, because it could have been much worse, so that woman that fell she claimed that I literally, like ran her over front of my car, which, physics wise, it's impossible because she was behind my car.
Speaker 3:You know what I mean. So it's like, just just in that sense, and she's claiming this, I didn't know about any of this, you know, until I got to the um, the first precinct, and he's like she's saying you did so. I'm like I, I would never do. I did not run anyone over with my car. You know, I would, I would know what. Like I said it wasn't like I was completely out of it, I would know if I hit it, I, I was crying, I was like I would know, if I hit it, was she up on the hill you said.
Speaker 1:She'd fallen on a hill.
Speaker 3:Well, there's a hill there and right where she landed. So that's what I thought happened right. So I was like I did not hit a human being. I would be devastated.
Speaker 1:Well, and everybody else was standing around there, they would have noticed too.
Speaker 3:So I was crying. He's this that now you injured somebody, so I find out after that because there was an injury. That's why you have to get on bail.
Speaker 1:You have to have somebody bail you out, as opposed to just being released, so you didn't even know you'd been charged with hitting somebody at that point.
Speaker 3:No, I didn't know, maybe they said it at court, but I do remember them saying that you can get bailed out, and I had two people come and they were told that I wasn't there. So that's the irony of all this. It was just all things led to me going out to that jail.
Speaker 2:Confusion yeah.
Speaker 3:And I'm going to continue the story because it brought me to here. You know, this is what people have to do too. When you're going through stuff, it's always for you. There's always a lesson, there's always something, and even if you're in the shittiest, shittiest and you can't bring yourself to look at it that way, you can try, because something good is going to come of it, or at least you learn something or whatever. Absolutely. When I finally got home, I saw my son. I'm like it was just horrible. You know what I mean. And now you have this whole thing to deal with.
Speaker 3:I just got charged with DWI and for me, everyone that knew me, including my son, they're like you, you're like an advocate, so it's just funny in that respect. So she claimed that. And then, once I got the police report, I remember going down to the precinct and saying this isn't true. Did you ask any other witnesses? They're like no, I'm like. Why didn't you ask me? You didn't even ask me because I would have said if one I didn't want, I didn't do it too, if, if, if she got hit by anything by me, it might've been the trailer as I was going back and forth. You know, part mostly her fault, cause you shouldn't be there.
Speaker 3:That's the only thing I could think of, and I felt horrible that if I had anything to do, she hurt her foot. So I'm not putting down that I might've hurt somebody, but it was her foot, it wasn't anything catastrophic. And the reason why I wanted to say this is because what if it wasn't? What if I killed somebody?
Speaker 2:You know what?
Speaker 3:I mean and you're not thinking of that when you say to yourself let me get in my car. And I know that I was being responsible, but still, I still got in my car and I can't even imagine, because I know how badly I felt, that I know I didn't run her over. I know I didn't physically run her over, but I knew that. If, even if my trailer clipped her, if that's the case, that's, I feel horrible.
Speaker 1:You know what I?
Speaker 3:mean but that. But that also could happen when you're stone sober, and she wasn't, and it wound up getting wish. You know, my car insurance paid her doctor's bill and, I think, gave her a settlement and I think it was proven that she may have fallen down that hill and was intoxicated and all that. But, still, the charges are on me right Right.
Speaker 3:So you feel horrible. And then the aftermath of all this not only is it, I remember getting text messages from people that don't even know me that well, are you all right? And I'm like I didn't tell anybody. I don't know about out by you, but it's called the patch. So each individual town has their own patch of all like what's going on with the police. It gets put on the internet. There's my frigging, you know picture with what.
Speaker 1:It's like a blot, like a blotter. Yeah, I was like.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, it's like you don't want everyone to know, so there was a small town kind of a small town where you were town, yeah, it's just so.
Speaker 3:But the aftermath of it is dealing with you know, being sued for this woman and then you have to go to court and then it costs a lot of money to get a lawyer and a lot of money, and I'm I'm so grateful that I had it. I had, I had the money to deal with it, but still it was a lot of money and, yeah, I had to get a breathalyzer in my car to start the car, you have to blow in it.
Speaker 3:And as you're driving, you have to do it Whoever's in your car is. Now. It was just so humiliating my kids driving them to sports. It was just very humiliating.
Speaker 1:How long did you have that in your car? For like a year.
Speaker 3:I got to tell this part of the story because it's great, so I don't know when it was how many months later, but it was quite a ways like maybe nine months in almost done months later, but it was quite a ways like maybe nine months in almost done. And I went on a date through a dating app. I was going on a state and I wasn't going to go because he said he was like five seven or five eight and I'm like five eight and I can't be with someone like short and because of my competing and my lifestyle and just how I am, I never really went out much. You know, it's like people going out there, going out eating and drinking you know, and you know divorce.
Speaker 3:I don't have the same friends and just I don't know. So my friends are like go on a dating site and go on a dating site, at least go meet people. So that's what I was doing, not on the regular, but so go on this date. Guy was super, super nice. We knew a lot of the same people and I can't remember if that's when he told me, but I think he had one as well in his life and had the breath of life and whatever.
Speaker 3:And then he's like you want to just go out for dinner by my house. And in my head I'm going I don't really want to go because I'm not interested. But then I'm also going what are you going to do? You're going to go sit home again by yourself. So I was like okay, so drive there. And part of you is also going like I don't want to lead this guy on either. You know you're like it's like a weird.
Speaker 3:It was a weird thing, but I think he got the gist because I was making fun of him a little bit on the date.
Speaker 1:So he probably likes that.
Speaker 3:if he's asking you to go meet him, so we drive down there, I park like in front of his home and then we go out for dinner and at dinner he had like one or two drinks and he's like you know what? It's the same thing. I wasn't competing, I had literally one drink. I didn't even feel buzzed, I just had the drink. So then we go back to his house. In my mind I'm going. I said to him if I have one drink, I'm not going to drive. See, he lived in a home with other roommates. He's like you can sleep on the couch. I think there's a spare bedroom, whatever he said. So I was like all right, I was like in that effort mode, I'm so sick of being home by myself. My kids were always with their dad. I was like I'm just going to do this. So when we get there he goes. Oh, can you just move your car up like a couple?
Speaker 1:of weeks.
Speaker 3:No, no, can you please move your car up a few feet so my roommate can get his car in the driveway? I'm like, yeah, like you're thinking no, like I don't care, get in, blow as soon as I blow. I'm like, oh, no, fuck, fuck, fuck. And I'm like I don't believe this. And when you have that, you still you have to report to a um, like every month you know probation not probation
Speaker 3:like similar, something like that, something like that, and you have to pee and she loved me because you know the difference between somebody you know that's not not really doing this on the regular right, I just go and pee whatever she loved me because you know the difference between somebody.
Speaker 3:You know that's not not really doing this on the regular. I just go and pee whatever. She loved me. So I literally emailed her the second it happened, told her exactly what happened. I told the truth. I said you know cause? You're not allowed to drink at all. It's so weird that you get a DWI, you're not even allowed to drink period zero, like you're not even have to have an alcohol system, which is weird, because why can't you drink if you're not driving, but whatever, you're not allowed to have any. I email her immediately like I went on a date. She knew my whole story, you know. It's like, yeah, and I just was like I don't believe this. So of course she's like I'll call the judge, I'm going to tell her that you are, you're really a pillar of you know doing the right thing and everything, and you know. So they gave me a second chance. I had to go to court, pay more money for this incident. That it's like so a movie, right, right.
Speaker 3:So I go to court and now I have to do classes and go to like alcohol, like whatever you call it oh, not AA, but like through the town you have to go see people that are serious drug, drug and alcohol problems. Yeah, I didn't have to start it yet and I went on another date, let's say a week later, and was sitting and talking and I'm very open. Now I'm telling this guy the story and in his head he goes holy shit, this is the girl, this is the girl. This is how small world it is. He had gone on a date the week prior with a girl that was friends with the guy I was with the week prior, so he must've told her the story. Now she's telling him the story and they're both going like who does that? Who blows in a breathalyzer when?
Speaker 2:they know they're drinking.
Speaker 3:So here I'm going and in this guy who I happened to have really liked, and he liked me, was like that's the girl, that's the girl, Fast forward. That's my husband.
Speaker 2:I married him for three years.
Speaker 3:Oh you're kidding Together six years and at the date he's going in and he said I want to tell her so bad that I know it was just the funniest thing, but it wasn't funny, right, okay. So now fast forward. It was all meant to be because my husband lived here. I lived here and the place where I had to go every once a week it was very close to our homes. It wasn't inconvenient and I actually wound up liking it because when I was younger I had binge eating disorder. So like food to me was like a drug, and when these women were talking about drug and alcohol I related to them in that respect but not with drugs.
Speaker 3:I don't have a drug or alcohol problem, but then I started taking over the class, I started doing self-help meditations and I started teaching them positivity and started doing all these things that I said to myself this is what I want to do with my life.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 3:I probably still would have done what I'm doing. I think that's just what I would have done, but that really was like wow, I want to do this, and I probably wouldn't have known that until I was in that situation.
Speaker 1:So it subconsciously led you to where you're at right now. Really, when you think about it, you didn't do it purposely, I mean it just kind of drove you in that direction and you met this amazing man who knew your story and accepted you the way the story was regardless, which is pretty cool. That doesn't ever happen on dating apps. I'm just saying.
Speaker 3:No, there's a lot of people In fact, what it is it's like, in fact, I think I'm going to do a podcast with my husband. In fact, I said I want him to be my first guest, because I don't do guests at the moment Just starting to and I for years never told anybody we met on a dating app. Because of that, Because it's so like that's sleazy.
Speaker 2:But it's like I don.
Speaker 1:Yeah, ten years ago I totally could see what you're talking about, but I mean nowadays it's no big deal.
Speaker 3:It was pretty prevalent in our age group, like older people doing the dating apps because you know where are you going to meet people, but I still didn't want to tell anybody. So now everyone knows on your podcast and they'll soon know. But I know I went all over the place, but the moral of the story is is number one some people that get DWIs certainly don't plan on it, Obviously you have.
Speaker 3:I mean, when I met some of these women in the classes, they were on their third, they were jailed. They just I don't understand that. Like for me I wouldn't even take a sip ever again If I was driving. I just will not, because I don't even want to get into an accident by accident.
Speaker 3:And then they're like did you drink? And you had even one drink. I don't want to even be anywhere near it. So it also turned me on to Uber. I didn't even know about Uber back then, so I had an Uber everywhere I rode my bicycle. Because here's another thing that listeners might not know, at least in New York if I did not blow in a breathalyzer, it's an automatic license suspension for, I think, six months. By blowing and being under, you know, I was high enough to be charged, you know, but low enough to not be a felony, whatever Right. The fact that I blew was only 30 days without a license, and then I had my license back.
Speaker 1:Yeah, here in Washington it's a year is my understanding If you don't blow in the breathalyzer you can do the field sobriety, but I mean, it's a whole thing. My husband was, my ex-husband was a cop too.
Speaker 2:I understand the process.
Speaker 1:But if you wait, you know well, I'm not going to tell you how to get around it but it is basically the field sobriety test that they have you do. That is the most humiliating part is exactly what you're talking about, where they were having you touch your nose, walk the line, and that is something you're required to do for them to determine if you're under the influence or not, and I don't think you even have to do that.
Speaker 3:I don't even think you have to do that, but then you're getting you say take me in, Just take me in.
Speaker 3:The thing is, in my personal opinion, I think society has gotten like when something happens bad, they try and rectify it almost too much to a fault the other way, and I'm not even going to get on other subjects, but with drinking I think it should be a case-by-case basis. On that first offense, especially if it's lower, but it is, it's jail time or whatever it may be. Like you said, a year without a license, and I think even a friend of mine that I met in that class, even though she had three, and she hasn't had one since. She's not allowed to drive period. So how is she supposed to have a job and how is she supposed to be part of the society? Like forever, forever, forever.
Speaker 1:Oh, wow, wow so that I disagree with. I do too.
Speaker 3:Number one you want to make money, have breathalyzers in their car.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:If anything, or maybe, or maybe only drive during work hours or whatever you have to do, since she's had three. I mean, I understand that they're concerned, but I just think that that's a freedom that should not be taken away. When someone wants to try and become a better person, let's say so you know, I just made the best of it.
Speaker 3:At the time I lived pretty close to stores and I would ride my bike and I just people were saying, just drive, they won't know. I'm like I'm a risk taker. I'm not like Debbie Dugard or by any chance. You know I'm not approved, but I certainly was like I'm not risking for 30 days I'll just chill out. You know, I took an Uber to the gym and I was like Uber's great. You know, I think I don't know how long Uber has been around, but I don't really remember it being something that I thought about back then, now of it's so prevalent.
Speaker 1:Like 2007, 2008. Oh was it All right, well, that's when I remember being introduced to it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I'm going wow this is a trip.
Speaker 1:I remember thinking, wow, this is kind of like a cool thing, but I'd never done it before either.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I remember like after getting it, I remember researching that the woman who created Mothers Against Drunk Drivers later on drank at a baby shower and got arrested on a DWI.
Speaker 3:Wow, so it just goes to show you that you know sometimes you might not make the right decision. But from seeing my own children I think at this generation, like they just don't. They don't seem to. They seem to all Uber, you know, especially the parent a lot of times the parents are paying for their Uber Like they just seem to be a little bit more, like absolutely not. And I remember growing up when we were younger you didn't even get in that much trouble if you just got caught. God forbid if you killed somebody. Accident.
Speaker 3:They would pour everything out and say yeah, walk home or just take your keys right, Walk home, take your keys, whatever, but it's it's changed. It's changed and it should. It shouldn't be allowed. It shouldn't be okay. But they have to do something to where the people that are repeatedly doing it they're suspended licenses. They don't even have a license, so like they should have. I don't know how they can do it, but no-transcript. It should be. Like I said, my jail thing was by oh, I didn't even say that part my name was put into the system wrong, so I got sent out to that jail and that whole entire thing by accident, Like I was not supposed to be sent there. But I, like I said I'm glad I was because number one I make a joke, bucket list.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Check. You can check that one off.
Speaker 2:So how was?
Speaker 1:how was your family, elise? How did they like your son and your family? Were they supportive or how did they respond?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean my younger son, who's more mature than I am, even to this day. I mean they were all just like couldn't believe that you did it and they just, you know, they knew it was a mistake and they just kind of like sometimes made fun of me, had to blow on that thing. I was so like on point that one time we went out for dinner, just me and my younger son and I had a mint and some mints will blow off and I made him, he will blow off and I made him.
Speaker 3:He was able to drive. I was like, no, I can't do it, you do it. But I think they were supportive and just like my older son was still at college so when he was home and I would just blow in it, his friends would be in the car. It was just, I was like a master at it, like some people have to pull over and then blow, like I, you're allowed to do it while you're driving and I would just do it, you have to hum. I mean, my husband at the time he's now retired was a police officer so I'd go to visit him at work and he'd be talking and then I'd have to. You know, it's like it was just a very humiliating time and expensive. So people don't realize how expensive it could be. You know it was a minimum 10 grand, definitely a little bit more than 10 grand.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Not even the worst case.
Speaker 2:You know I wasn't like, I wasn't the pillar, so pay $50 for the Uber, people, right?
Speaker 3:Yep, I mean, it's not even, because even that one drink, if you just had it, and you get into an accident, even if someone hits you, just like, especially. Let's talk about weed now, because weed is pretty, you know, pretty legal everywhere, even if you didn't do anything wrong and you're under the influence, you're screwed. Yep, and you're under the influence, you're screwed, so why take that chance? But when you're younger, you always think it's not going to happen to you. But why not be proactive? It's so easy, or get a ride from a friend or a family, but a lot of people don't plan on getting plastered.
Speaker 2:They maybe have one. Oh, I'll just have one more. Or just leave your car wherever it is and get it the next day. It seems like such no-braer advice, right? I was going to ask you know, if you could give advice to the younger version of yourself or younger people you know that are in similar situations. What would it be? And it's a lot of the stuff we're talking about now which seems like you know I'm I'm guilty.
Speaker 2:I'll put it out there I was you know, with friends yesterday and and had a couple of drinks and and I was there all evening so it wasn't right away. I get what you were saying too drink the water. Let time go by before we do it. But yeah, I need to think about some of this advice for myself. I'm not going to say we all do it because you don't, but a lot of us do that and I love that. You're able to look back now and see the journey that it took you on Glass half full as you're going Not a lot of people are able to do that and then the outcome of this career path that you've taken on to where you can help other women, other people go through and put these things into practice in their own lives. I think it's tremendous.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I've always been that half, half full person, and how else can you be? I think my biggest concern the whole deal was when I got into that little van that takes you to the court because I get car sick and there was no windows and I'm like please just let me get car sick. Like that was my biggest. I was just like I can take anything else. Jail throw jail at me, throw gangsters at me, just please don't let me be nauseous.
Speaker 3:But yeah, you don't think about it. And up until that point, definitely times in my life where you're going out for dinner and you might even be a little what they say, buzz driving, like you're not really messed up, and I think when you know that you can drive and we've all done it and I don't care. When, what happened to me. I remember thinking like my husband's probably going to use this as great Like look at mom did or like my brother and, like all these people, I felt like they were judging me.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 3:I remember saying to them I go, this could have been you probably this weekend. My kids were little and you're doing no drive and pick it up Like when they were going to parties or whatever. I always did the early because I used to get up so early for the gym.
Speaker 3:So I do the drop off and these other parents would pick up my kid and I started to complain they were out to dinner drinking probably, and now they're picking up my kid, so I was always kind of against it and it happened to me too, but I think our bodies build up a tolerance to alcohol where you might be able to have two glasses of wine and not really feel it, especially if you're eating. But I won't even do that. I just look at it like why it's not that I'm in the position, with the experience, that it's not worth it to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this is really inspirational for me because it's not like I mean I have a drink in hand on this podcast plenty of times and I'm not going anywhere after, but I'm just sitting here thinking I need to take the things that you're sharing I personally am giving myself a little bit of a challenge right now and to really think about this, just like I was saying, because I'm guilty and I need to not be. Well, we do.
Speaker 1:We have our beverages a lot at home. You know, like when we're hanging because we live in this, we live in the same structure, you know so it's. But we don't, we're not going anywhere. But to your point, I mean, I'm not a very tall person, I'm not a very big person and I'll have a couple glasses of wine, I don't feel buzzed, but I mean, and I have driven no problem home. But it's making me really think about things.
Speaker 3:But what I'm going to say is that you don't think you are but you are Right.
Speaker 2:Oh, I just am taking it one or two and I'm not far from home.
Speaker 3:take the Uber, take the Uber, or have somebody drive that hasn't been drinking right it comes down to, I think, with society, a lot of talk about the NLP, neuro-linguistic programming. A lot of people just are on autopilot. So we're on autopilot, I've did it too. You don't even say anything, you just go to dinner, you have your wine, you get your car, you go home and, like I was just saying to Julie, it's like you might not think your buzz be are a little bit, you might be a little bit.
Speaker 3:So I would do it because I just swore to myself I hope never. Plus, when you have one, even if it's 15 years prior, you're screwed. If you have another, not that I don't have another, but I don't even want them to think I had it. I don't even want them to think I had a drink. But for anyone else, yes, Is there a limit? You're allowed to drink and drive. Technically you're allowed to be whatever it may be, whatever the limit is. But how do you know what that is? How do you?
Speaker 3:know, and I think also for us women, our age group of the moms. Everyone thinks having wine every night.
Speaker 2:I get to the point like why are you having wine every night? Why is that your habit? There's that too. That's a whole other episode. Yeah, that's a whole other episode Exactly.
Speaker 3:So then it comes down to all that and, like you said, if it's not affecting your life badly and you're just staying home and you're having wine every night, who really cares? But then if you take that step back and talk to someone like me, you might be like why are you having it every night?
Speaker 1:Are you trying to?
Speaker 3:escape. What are you trying to do? I mean, everybody likes drinking wine. I love it and I like that buzz. Because you don't get? I don't know, you don't get you know loosey-goosey and whatever. Yeah, and I think for me personally, if it wasn't had when I was menopause frustrated, mind you, I was drinking every night too, because I could, because I'm not dieting and having dessert, but I was really probably drinking away some issues that I want to. It makes you feel good.
Speaker 1:I mean there's no it's just like settling into any habit people settle into.
Speaker 3:It's fine and everything's fine until it's not.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:But it definitely is something where I think, like I said, the generation, these younger kids. I think they really got it. It seems like they all take Ubers and I don't think anyone drives. Better than we did for sure, right, well, they didn't have that resource, they didn't have cell phones.
Speaker 1:This is one of the things that Michelle and I have talked quite a bit about, because the generation that we all three are in is that transitional one between old school and new school. We didn't talk about DUIs, we didn't talk about you even blowing in anything. I mean, I remember rolling around in the back of some car that one of my buddies was taking me home and I'm listening to ACDC and going around the corner with no seatbelt. You know you're hoping you get there, I think my ex-husband.
Speaker 3:I was with him since I was 15, 16. And I mean I'm not going to sit here and lie. I mean we drank all night at clubs and then drove home.
Speaker 3:I was the one that was known and I didn't even drink beer. I drank literally. Myers-roman Diet Coke was my go-to drink when I was in my early 20s and I could drive. I was never falling on the floor, mind you, it's not like you're falling. I think one time I actually was, and I'm not proud of any of this, but I was able to drive better than any of my friends sober. So I was always the designated driver, even though we were all out drinking. And as an adult, you think back and say thank God.
Speaker 2:Thank God, I know I'm lucky to be alive.
Speaker 1:Oh, me too.
Speaker 3:We used to drive to Idaho to the state line from Spokane, because the drinking age was 19 and it was 21 in Washington.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we would go out there and party and then drive back to Washington.
Speaker 1:We'd go up to Canada, go up to Vancouver because the drinking age was 19 up there yeah.
Speaker 3:That's what I'm saying. It's not even like you were like oh, I really should get a drive like you.
Speaker 2:Just did it.
Speaker 3:There was no thought process at all, and then the same thing with us now as adults with you know a lot of our age group. You know you go out for dinner with your husbands or your girlfriends. You're going out for brunch and you're having champagne or mimosas, and you had seven, eight, nine, ten mimosas over, but no one's thinking yeah either you're not to have any, or maybe one, or just get a ride, because, like you said, uber what's?
Speaker 2:an Uber 50 bucks compared to 10,000.
Speaker 1:Mimosas are like. I love mimosas. I like them with a little bit more orange juice. But I was just in Mexico. As an example, we got the bill for the place we were staying at and all the drinks. There was a few of us there. We had 22 mimosas between us girls. We weren't driving, of course, we were on vacation, but 22 mimosas. I was like holy shit, they didn't. I don't think they had that much alcohol in them because I didn't feel like I was no they don't.
Speaker 3:It doesn't, yeah, falling down or anything. I mean, I've caught buzz off of mimosas because you just have so many. Yeah, you know what I mean it's a lot of sugar. You're in the sun, yeah, just like I love, I rather day drink at Mexico and drink during the day and kind of like lay in the sun and then take a shower and go out for dinner and be done.
Speaker 2:Right Yep.
Speaker 3:Right At least an hour. Yeah, maybe a little dancing, you know. I love dancing, that's my thing With anything in life. We all have to take that step back and have that like inner dialogue, and it's not just about this, but this is the topic that we're speaking about and the irony of it is I did know to have do all that in a sense on the other side, before we drove the jet ski back, you know, get the designated driver.
Speaker 3:Literally, I stood there and said I can't drive my jet ski and he's like well, I'm going to call my wife and she was waiting for us on the other side, which she witnessed everything, because she was already waiting for us. I did try to do the right thing and it kind of backfired, but what's the worst that can happen if you take an Uber?
Speaker 3:But the thing is I want to put out to the listeners too no matter what age you are when you're drinking and you already started you don't have that mind. You're usually like I can drive, I can drive, no problem. You don't have that.
Speaker 1:Plan. You have to have a plan.
Speaker 3:Maybe you have to have a plan because you always think you're not as bad as you are and you're going to think you can drive. And even when my kids were young they'd be like, oh, Johnny's driving, he's not drinking. So I'm the DD tonight. I'm the DD Meanwhile, my my younger son, for everyone that he was friends with my older son too. He was always the DD, cause he's, he should have been a police officer himself. He's very, very like straight.
Speaker 3:So, he would, he would do it. But, like I said, I think the generation now is, they've been taught which we weren't taught as much. They've been taught like this is what you do, so that's good, that's a good thing. But our society is always down on the teenagers and the drink and the driving, and you can't drink until you're 21 and blah, blah, blah. But the stats show. I don't want to make a quote because I don't know the exact stats. The stats for most people that get DWIs are like in their forties.
Speaker 2:It's not these young kids, it's the older people.
Speaker 3:So it's, it's you know, our age to have to, like, cut it back a little bit or, like you said, plan ahead.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you so much. We are thrilled to have this story with us, and hear it from someone who is at the same age really that we are, and it's good to hear how you managed it and how you handled it, and that we are and it's good to hear how you managed it and how you handled it, and really it's been kind of a blessing in disguise in a lot of ways for you, Absolutely Yep, and I just want to put out there and thank our listeners for checking us out on YouTube and subscribing.
Speaker 2:Keep doing it, Share with your friends. We're out on all the socials Facebook, Instagram, TikTok you will find us there. So thank you for downloading, Continue to share. If you like what you see, follow and we just thank you so much for listening. Thank you, Elise, for being here today. And not an easy like you were saying close to the vest not an easy story to share. You decided to do it with us and we are very thankful and honored that you decided to do that, so it's a great story.
Speaker 1:I think it'll help a lot of people.
Speaker 2:I hope so All right.
Speaker 3:Until next time, I'm glad to meet you, glad to meet you guys, period.
Speaker 1:Share some of that sunshine with us. I know yeah, bring it this way All right. Everybody. Have a wonderful day. Thanks for joining us and we will see you next week. Bye.
Speaker 3:Yeah.