Spicy Midlife Women: Real Talk, Raw Truth, and Bold Moves for Women Over 40

2. What Does It Mean to Be a Spicy Midlife Woman?

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In this juicy second episode, Jules and Michele dive deep into what it actually means to be a spicy midlife woman, and it’s about a lot more than red lipstick and bold opinions. From sexual confidence and self-expression to body wisdom and reclaiming your voice, they unpack the fire behind the “spice” and why it’s so much more than a midlife buzzword. Equal parts empowering and hilarious, this episode is full of insights, personal stories, and thought-provoking questions to help you step into your power, define your own rules, and fully embrace who you are—inside and out.

You’ll learn:

  • What it really means to be a “spicy midlife woman”
  • How confidence, sexuality, and self-expression evolve in midlife
  • Why being unapologetically yourself can make others uncomfortable—and why that’s okay
  • The importance of reclaiming your voice in every area of life (yes, even the bedroom)
  • How pleasure, sensuality, and curiosity shift as we age—and why we should embrace it
  • The difference between conforming and being truly authentic
  • How hormones impact midlife experiences (hello, hot flashes and libido shifts!)
  • What it looks like to find joy in your body, your style, and your music (white go-go boots, anyone?)
  • Tips for staying confident, curious, and connected through midlife changes
  • Why building a supportive, spicy sisterhood matters more than ever
Speaker 1:

Well, today you are here with Jules that's me and Michelle over here, that's me. Hey everybody, we are your two spicy midlife women from Seattle Washington and we are here to share real life stories and have no BS conversations with you, right, michelle?

Speaker 2:

Oh, you better believe it. We're here to help all you midlife women redefine relationships, ditch toxic cycles and reclaim your power, one episode at a time.

Speaker 1:

I am really excited to get into this next little series with you, michelle. Yeah, so we are here today with episode two of our rebrand, and what we really want to talk with everybody about is what it means to be a spicy midlife women.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, what is that anyways, right? Well, you're spicy, and anytime I tell somebody they ask you know what's your podcast called? And I just throw it out there. Spicy midlife women.

Speaker 1:

They're like ooh, they get it, I like that, yeah, yeah, there's nothing better than having that spiciness. I get you know, as we kind of are getting on in years, as I've heard you say before, and it was funny, like today I was with a new agent and we were talking about, you know, just the process and the things we're doing, and I made some mention about her being less than half my age how old are you? And I told her and she's like, oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, really you seem so young and I was like no, that's just me being really immature.

Speaker 2:

From outside stereotypical perceptions. Yeah, it's you being immature.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'm really not immature, I'm actually very mature, but I'm kind of goofy, like we were talking about, and I guess what that really boils down to is when we're talking about being a woman first of all, that is, in this day and age that we live in right now and you know having your voice. That's really kind of what we're talking about when we talk about being spicy. It's really kind of holding your own in the world, that we live in a lot of different ways which we're going to get into throughout the different episodes.

Speaker 2:

But I think, too, it's things as we get into this, because what we want to do here is give other midlife women an idea of what we're talking about when we say spicy midlife women, and we're going to, in this episode, go over some of the key things that can really help fuel that fire and to keep it burning inside of you when it comes to these things, so things that are of mindset, body, wisdom, you know, just experiences and things that you have, and so we feel like this is the direction we would like to share with all of you, because these are the places that we've been in our lives.

Speaker 1:

I'm not saying that we have all of the answers by any stretch, but we certainly have a lot of experiences and things to share and, in doing so, hope that we're able to shed light on the things that might be important in your life, or the things that you're having questions with in your life, for example desires that you have.

Speaker 2:

within A lot of times I think in midlife, especially earlier on you start to question if those things are valid and if it's okay if the things that you think about are somewhat changing or evolving. I think we tend to maybe question if it's okay some of those things.

Speaker 1:

And you likely are questioning some of the things that you have maybe accepted over time, whether it be emotionally or physically or spiritually so many different aspects, but you may be in a place where you're starting to question is this really what I'm supposed to be doing?

Speaker 1:

Is this what it's about? Am I happy with the decisions that I've made? And if you're not, or you want to enhance the things that you're already doing, we want to discuss some of those things Because, as you kind of step into the next aspects of your life, there's nothing that says everything has to be exactly the same, and one thing that's important to note there, I think, is all of you may have people in your lives that are comfortable with the way you are or comfortable with the way they perceive you, and so having changes in the way you view anything, whether it be relationships, whether it be sex, whether it be intimacy, whatever it is might be uncomfortable for other people, and that's something that you have to kind of manage through as well.

Speaker 2:

So just know for future we're going to dive into some of that. Can't wait to share more.

Speaker 1:

I know I can't either, because I think some of it's going to be rather juicy. What else? What are some other things that encompass spiciness in midlife, jules maybe don't really know a lot about, or what you are wanting to learn more about is something that not only just comes from within your own curiosity but, also comes from the things that we're seeing out in the world and what you feel like.

Speaker 2:

Maybe you have been missing along the way and I like what you said about. I mean, it's the confidence that comes from within right it's not about looking like you're 25 years old. Yeah, because, mama, you are not 25 years old anymore, right.

Speaker 1:

And I think looking 25 would be kind of weird. Anyway, it's counterproductive, yeah.

Speaker 2:

We want to look good. I'm not saying that we don't want to look good and put together, but it's the confidence that's really going to give you that.

Speaker 1:

Well, I mean, you can tell, all of you can tell. When someone walks into a room with that level of confidence, it's in their step. It's in the way that they, you know, pay on the room. It's in the what they're dressed like. It's the way they carry themselves.

Speaker 2:

Can we just talk about the fact that I wore white go-go-ish type boots to work today. I know you told me that and I just didn't even bat an eyelash. Everybody at work knew that I bought those for my I just, fyi, just had a birthday and the theme was 60s. So I bought myself some white boots that I had worn with the outfit and both Julie and I were like I kind of like these, totally warm to work today. But it just made me think about what you were just saying, that confidence not that I have to wear white boots with confidence. But I didn't even bat an eyelash. I walked in, I had my outfit on, I just wore it like without question and nobody said anything. Nobody said, oh my gosh, I can't believe we were wearing those, because they knew I was getting them for the party, right, and that it was for a sixties theme. But yeah.

Speaker 1:

Well, it pretty much goes with half your wardrobe. But see, I think that's part of it too. You just don't give a shit if other people give a shit, yeah, and why should you? And I think that's some of it too. I mean, mine has always been like don't show too much cleavage, try to be a little bit more modest, because I always had a larger chest and I still am kind of like that to some degree.

Speaker 2:

Less is more.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you don't want everybody to see it. Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free? I mean you've heard those things before, but I'm like I mean, if you got a good rack and what the?

Speaker 2:

hell, yeah, it's not. Yeah did I just say, if you have a good rack. Oh my god, I did didn't, uh-huh.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, maybe I should lower my voice if you, baby got rack uh-huh, oh, back, we got both of that. Yeah right, we got rack and back, yeah, so sexual confidence anyways, yeah, and just how you carry yourself, the importance of it.

Speaker 1:

Confidence is spicy, right, it's sexy, it is sexy. I think confidence is super sexy and lack of confidence just makes you kind of turn your head. I mean, when you see it in other men, or if you see men that aren't confident or you see women that aren't confident, you want to just go give them a big hug.

Speaker 2:

Kind of along those lines too, is the confidence that comes with using your brain right and not your body. We've talked before about toxic femininity. Yes, we have. Right. So when you're using your body to get things and things like that's a whole other topic. But you know, when you start with your brain and using it in a positive, confident way, that makes a difference and it could be simple little things like how you choose your words.

Speaker 1:

You know, and you know the thoughtfulness you put into the things that you're saying, the type of filler words that you use when you're talking. If you use filler words in your, if you're in a more casual setting, obviously you might speak a lot differently than if you're in a corporate setting. So, anyway, the other thing too is we all have seen where you know there are women out there that really use their sexuality, their femininity, to garner not only attention but, you know, to get things accomplished. You know, in whatever capacity, and so I just think that is that's one way I guess people can get things done. I would prefer for myself, anyway, to be darn cute but also have a brain and be able to carry on a conversation.

Speaker 2:

the other thing, too, when it comes to sex, so when we're talking about our sexuality is women and this is speaking about women, our gender, really it's like we've been in a place throughout history where we have been been a product of oh, that doesn't sound right.

Speaker 1:

We've been in a place throughout history where pleasure really has not been something that has been a priority. Sexually, we have been someone else's pleasure or we are put in place for other people's pleasure.

Speaker 2:

Well, to give it. Yeah, to give pleasure and not to receive. And like and not receive.

Speaker 1:

And so how many women out there have never had an?

Speaker 2:

orgasm Right, I just didn't. I've learned that more and more as I've gotten in years. I'll say it again that's yeah, that's so sad.

Speaker 1:

It's sad, but you know what? I can totally tell you that it's not something that I even was paying attention to, which kind of goes into a lot of other topics as well, but you know it has to do with menopause and some other stuff too, but it was and it wasn't like something that I would look forward to really, because it wasn't. It was fun, but it wasn't like I was looking for it kind of thing, and I think a lot of that's because it didn't.

Speaker 1:

I was never really put in a position where I was taught how to do some of those things.

Speaker 2:

No pun intended. Yeah, put in a position.

Speaker 1:

I don't know. Michelle has the whole Kama Sutra book, but anyway. But anyway, you know there's so many different aspects to it that we don't give ourselves permission. For you know and Right, figure out what it is that brings you pleasure.

Speaker 2:

Do exploration to figure that out, so that you can then, if you have a partner, share it with them. To you know, double the pleasure. Do you remember that commercial Double income, self-exploration, double your pleasure?

Speaker 1:

There you go. Well, you know, doubling your pleasure is always a good thing, but that doesn't mean getting into a threesome.

Speaker 1:

But okay, oh, that's when you said double your pleasure, I'm like well, I mean that's not what I meant, but I mean it could mean that for some people I suppose but that particular thing I wasn't, but no, like you know toys or having you know fantasies that you pull out and people get embarrassed by this stuff, well, I think it because a lot of it is so much about performance and what it looks like what it?

Speaker 2:

is feeling like Right, so being able to go outside of that and just really explore with yourself and with each other. Anyways, we'll be getting into it that is spicy too, so that's more of what makes us spicy, yeah.

Speaker 1:

And another category that we will be spending some time in is having your voice. And we're not just talking about just having like being outspoken all the time or anything like that. It's not the way you have your voice, it's the fact that you feel like you can have your voice. So I can think of times in my past where I would just not say anything voice. So I can think of times in my past where I would just not say anything because why? Why get into an argument about something with an individual who thought so differently and wasn't open-minded, or what have you? It could be any number of things, but even having your voice and we were talking about sex and then a minute ago but even having your voice in the bedroom, sure you know and saying what you want, what you need, a lot of people are not comfortable stop, yeah, faster up there To the side, a little to the left, to the left, to the left.

Speaker 1:

Okay, but you get her point right. Yeah, oh, michelle, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Speaker 2:

And then Just giving tips, oh, tips, just the tip. There you go.

Speaker 1:

Anyways, moving on, I said that to my daughter the other day about something completely different. I was like, just the tip. She's like Mom.

Speaker 2:

I was like I didn't mean it that way she goes? Do you know what?

Speaker 1:

that means Sure. I've never heard that before. For all you ladies out there who are the women over 40, which is really who a lot of our audience is it's like you have either started, or you will be starting to experience symptoms of hormones. You know, yeah, hormones leaving your body.

Speaker 1:

Or lack of, or lack thereof which affects so many different aspects of you physically. You know how brain fog or you know dryness or just libido in general. You know your level of patience with people. There's so many different factors to it, but understand that it doesn't define you and there are ways to handle these things so you can live your life in a good way and you don't have to suffer. You know through hormones, you know wreaking havoc on your body. And again, another thing that I'm going to say Michelle, you are such a biatch that she's never had a freaking hot flash. I'm like who is she? I mean, she has like amazing hormones, I guess. But I have enough. I've had enough hot flashes for both of us I appreciate that Jules take one for the team.

Speaker 1:

I've taken several for the team on that one, but that stuff does matter.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I guess, is the point and being having your voice, being open to it, again, exploring options on what things can help or not help. I think these are a lot of things that women in midlife tend to just have sex even though it's not feeling great. All of those things, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So and then just like we, were talking about be spicy.

Speaker 2:

Ask questions, have a voice, yeah.

Speaker 1:

And I think too, is being able to educate ourselves. You know, really talking with other women or I wouldn't say commiserating, but comparing notes even you know there's things that work for certain people that don't work for others, and you know it is a process that our bodies are going to go through and so we must embrace it really.

Speaker 1:

I mean it's something that I'm going to embrace. I mean, yes, is my hair getting a little thinner. Yes, is my skin changing a little bit. I don't have the whole midsection thing yet, but I probably will. I mean, there's just things that you know.

Speaker 2:

Well, there you go. It's a trade-off. I got that. Enough for you. You got my hot flashes, I got your midsection. It's all good.

Speaker 1:

See what we deal with you guys. What are some other areas you think we will be diving into that will define, kind of give our audience a better idea of what it means to be spicy?

Speaker 2:

to be spicy. Well, a lot of this.

Speaker 2:

It seems like a lot of what we're talking about is sexuality and having to do with our bodies, but there's so many areas that affects, like, not just the sex part, but I was going to say sensuality as well. I think that is something to my point here. I think that is something to my point here. It's not just for the bedroom. Sexuality is not just for the bedroom. Okay, it's a life force. You need to reignite it and move through it, and there's so many things like art, music, dance, how you dress, the way you carry yourself, all of those things, our expressions of you Like we were saying our expressions of you give you confidence.

Speaker 2:

It can be super sexy, you know, engaging in those types of activities, like I was saying art, music, dance- I mean, get me on the dance floor, watch out I know so and that's just.

Speaker 1:

You wouldn't even know. Her knees hurt.

Speaker 2:

My knees.

Speaker 1:

But it's even little things like taking care of yourself, with you know. Really yummy lotions or self-care with you know, taking hot baths or meditating or all of these things directly impact our world around us and how we view ourselves, and you know how we, how the world, views us too, you know. So I think those are important things to note and not apologize about, you know.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's the main thing that you know, part of what makes a spicy midlife woman is being unapologetically themselves. You know we talked about that and there's so many facets of that that we are super excited to bring to this platform and I think it's what people need to hear. I think it's what we've learned about ourselves as we have gone through the years. We get a lot of compliments and some shit, but that's just the reminder. Like okay, I like how I'm living life. I don't want to be the stereotypical norm. That is not me, it doesn't have to be.

Speaker 1:

And really, when you go inward and start asking yourself a lot of things that we were just talking about, and if you're really true to yourself, there's a young lady or a woman who she, I think she's in her 50s that was here for michelle's party and she had tickets to kendrick lamar and someone else, who's you know a little older, had said why do you want to see kendrick? Kendrick lamar, how old are you, how old are you? And I'm just like, leave her alone.

Speaker 2:

She wants to go see kendrick lamar god, yeah, and obviously they're not like us. Yeah, I was like we're not like them.

Speaker 1:

They're not like us.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

But I was really proud of her for going in because those are exactly the things, and honestly if that would not have been an outside concert and pouring down rain. I probably would have tried to go with her.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I know who you're talking about and she is absolutely, 100%, unapologetically, herself, at all times and if you're listening, you know I love you for it. And, just like I was saying, through music and art especially, she, you know, is all over it. She is definitely a spicy, spicy lady. She is.

Speaker 1:

So it's just a term that we kind of came up for everyone that you know, we, when we think about, like how we want to view the world and how we choose to walk through it. Spicy was the word that seemed to resonate with both of us, because it's hot.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, try and be focusing on for all of you and bringing you insight into things that are going to be hopefully enlightening and help you carve your own path. If you have any questions about what you're doing or how you're doing it, or just anything really that is involving your maturity and growth as a woman who is, you know, starting to move on to the next chapter of her life, and it might you might be very early into this. You might be, you know, a 40 year old woman who's in the midst of dealing with kids and carpooling and you know all that kind of stuff and starting to go what the hell am I doing? It's like, what is my? Is this what my life is? All those sorts of things are directly related to what we're talking about, because we've been through a lot of these different cycles.

Speaker 2:

Cycles scenarios, situations.

Speaker 1:

And the other cool thing, Michelle, that I wanted to make sure we mentioned before we sign off on this episode is that the community that we're planning to have together, all of you really?

Speaker 1:

we want together as a community where we can really bounce a lot of questions off of each other. We can, you know, tell our stories, all of these things. So that is coming and we are looking forward to getting that together for all of you. In the next couple of weeks We'll be probably putting some things together to share with you, but in the meantime, we just really wanted to let everyone know how excited we are to be here with all of you and provide a resource that is for you to be the best version of yourself.

Speaker 2:

And a couple of other things I just want to give people to think about until they listen to the next episode, or just based on what we've talked about here today. Ask yourself some questions, right, and if you, for example, ask yourself am I really living life for myself or just meeting other people's expectations, right, Going through the motions? Going through the motions, or you know, how can I build stronger, more meaningful connections at this point in my life?

Speaker 1:

Right, yeah, and am I conforming versus being authentic? Exactly?

Speaker 2:

Exactly.

Speaker 1:

And that's not one to be ashamed of, if you feel like you're conforming. It's more like you've fallen into a pattern and you are an authentic person. It's just maybe not sharing it with the folks that are around you, for many different reasons.

Speaker 1:

So, that just gives you kind of an idea if you can walk away from this and ask yourself some of these questions and not necessarily have answers or want to hear what other people are saying or how other people have managed to maneuver through things that you're maybe currently struggling with or that you have, you know, embraced and done really well. These are all things we'll be kind of bringing to the table.

Speaker 2:

So if you're asking those questions and you don't know the answer, or you can't wait to get more, tune in next time, ladies. Yes, all right, because we're going to bring in. We'll be bringing you all the dish with all the spice.

Speaker 2:

Well, until then, we are. On which socials, michelle, you can find us out? On which socials, michelle, stay tuned for being part of a big community in regard to this and getting support and friendship from other women who are in the same place, so that we can be stronger together. That's right. Until then, though, stay spicy. Bye, everybody. See you later.