Spicy Midlife Women: Real Talk, Raw Truth, and Bold Moves for Women Over 40

8. Breaking Free From Relationship Baggage as a Midlife Woman

• Episode 8

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In this raw and unfiltered episode, Jules and Michele break down the emotional clutter that keeps midlife women stuck in toxic cycles. Through real-life stories, powerful mindset shifts, and no-BS advice, they walk you through the 5 steps to finally let go of past relationship baggage, romantic, family, or friendship and reclaim your peace, power, and joy.

What You’ll Learn:

  • The 5 key steps to letting go of relationship baggage
  • How guilt, regret, and resentment silently hold you back
  • Why reframing your story changes everything
  • Ways to release pain through symbolic action
  • How to set healthy boundaries and stop repeating toxic patterns
  • Why choosing yourself is not selfish, it’s essential

Questions Answered in This Episode:

  • How do I know if I’m still carrying relationship baggage?
  • What does it really mean to “reframe the story”?
  • How do I let go without feeling guilty?
  • Is blocking someone immature—or healthy?
  • How do I trust again after being hurt?
  • What if I was the toxic one in the past?
  • Can I welcome people back into my life after decades?
  • What are the signs I’m repeating old patterns?

Are you ready to take your "spiciness" to the next level?!

Connect with Julee & Michele on Instagram @spicy_midlife_women and send a DM about what resonated most during this episode so they can encourage you with steps forward in your own life.

Speaker 1:

Hey everybody, jules and Michelle, here we are, two spicy midlife women sharing our real life stories and having no BS conversations. That's bullshit. I know no bullshit here. Let me tell you.

Speaker 2:

Right, jules, that is so true. Ms Shelly Belly, that's right. And you guys, we're here to help you, all of you, you midlife women out there, redefine your relationships, ditch toxic cycles and reclaim your power, one episode at a time. So let's get into it. Let's get into it. What do?

Speaker 1:

we got today, michelle, you know we are going to share with you five steps to breaking free from past relationship baggage. We all got that baggage, don't we? Oh girl.

Speaker 2:

This isn't just like romantic stuff.

Speaker 1:

No.

Speaker 2:

This is all kinds of relationship baggage, just baggage in general Let it go. And how do we do that, right? Well, I don't know.

Speaker 1:

How do you even start when you're looking back? Is there a time when you realized that you needed to let go? Do you recall?

Speaker 2:

Yes, I think there's been different periods of time where I knew that I needed to let go. And I think, like thinking from a friendship standpoint we have talked about that before where we have friendships that are cyclical, you know, some will last a long time, some will not last a long time. They might last for a season, you might be in someone else's life for a specific reason or vice versa, but those relationships will, you know, naturally kind of dissipate, you know, come to an end. When I think of relationship baggage, I think of the person in your life who sucks the life out of you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, person, people, all of it and it might not even be something that they realize that they're doing to the degree that they're doing it, and it's a very difficult conversation which again we were discussing earlier to have with someone that you care about because you know that you know if you don't do it correctly, it could really create issues.

Speaker 2:

It could create some walls and unhealthy responses or what have you. So that's where I get a little bit stuck sometimes. But I absolutely 100% have done that and on the flip side of that, just to be fair, there have been people that have done that with me too. I know we've all got that. It goes both ways. I mean I can think of very dark times in my life when I was really not probably the best person to be around because I wasn't even comfortable being in my own skin. So I think about that now and if I look at those people and how they maybe handled those things, it was maybe not how I would have handled it, but you know.

Speaker 1:

Right, so we're like two 60-year-old women with hindsight wanting to share some of this with maybe some of you midlife women that are just entering into the 40s. Yeah, so you can maybe better identify than we did some of those things, because it's super important to clear that emotional clutter so you can thrive going forward and into the future.

Speaker 2:

I think we have a tendency to, like I said before, we don't want to hurt people, we don't want to hurt people's feelings. Sometimes the easiest way to and I use air quotes on that all the problem is to avoid it. That's not necessarily healthy, but that's the reality of you know. When you don't really know what to do about something, sometimes the easiest way to approach it is to not do anything at all. Exactly. Oh, I'm busy that day.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I forgot about that, you know, and that can be in a lot of different aspects. But when I'm thinking of, when I think of relationship baggage, I'm thinking of friendships, because when you think about family, whether and we've talked about families before in their family typically there's going to be at least one.

Speaker 2:

Apparently I'm the black sheep. I am too. I know which kind of cracks me up because I'm so not a black sheep. I mean, that just goes to show how pristine my family and they're, just like they don't do anything wrong apparently. Oh yeah, and I'm the self-diagnosed.

Speaker 1:

I'm self-diagnosed black right because really it's like yeah, in the big scope of things I mean I really have not done anything horrible there's all those relationships, right, you know, because I think of the relationship baggage that I have with my ex-husband yeah, you know, my boy's dad, and you're thinking of friendships. There's an array of things like that that we start to recognize and carry. So I think that's the step. One I would say is to identify the weight of what baggage you are carrying, right, is it regrets, resentment, guilt, all of those?

Speaker 2:

things resentment guilt, all of those things now did you just like, read my mind or something? I mean, there you go, because when you talk about this, like like the relationship, let's just talk about that for a second relationship baggage in regard to your marriage or divorce or whatever, how long has it taken you to really even be able to say that out loud? Yeah, I'm feeling guilty, without feeling that resentment and letting it convey to other things. Yeah, I mean, that's so true. Yeah, and now it's kind of like you're far enough behind it.

Speaker 2:

Yes, you've moved on, and he's no longer with us. Right which probably Sadly, yeah. That probably, you know, has something to do with maybe your softened approach on it.

Speaker 1:

But perspective is everything.

Speaker 2:

When you're in the heat of something, whether it be, you know, a toxic type of relationship, or whether it be dealing with, you know, family issues or whatever. You don't really think about things to the same degree that you do when you have that clarity looking backward, and I think the key though, if I may say, is what you do with that, like how you use that perspective to further you with other relationships.

Speaker 1:

Well, and the hard part with that is, I think sometimes we tend to hold on to some of those hurts and some of those feelings longer than we need to. Why do you think that is Because of the guilt at that. I mean, I brought up guilt, resentment and regrets. I think that part has to do with guilt.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, for me anyways, when I think about it, yeah, yeah, well, I mean, I can think of a family member that I obviously love very much, but who I have, I can only take in doses for that very reason, because the guilt is just. It is so heavy. And I've established those boundaries and tried to explain the boundaries, although I don't feel like my message is really being heard. Maybe they're listening, but they're not necessarily hearing, and so it really comes across like I am being selfish or like I'm being self-serving, you know, because I'm not putting myself out there, I'm not sharing a lot of the same information, because, I mean, what it really boils down to is like I don't really need to have someone's commentary on my decisions or my life.

Speaker 2:

I'm a grown ass woman, you know and unless I ask for it and I think a lot of the time you receive that commentary we're talking about from people because they think that they have a right to do that, because they are your family, when in reality it's like they don't. Yeah, so that's kind of one thought process. The going back to the relationship baggage with exes. It's like the amount of anger and resentment and just furiousness with the communication and just the shittiness that goes along with just about every divorce in one capacity or another. If you haven't had that, then you're living it.

Speaker 2:

I know I was going to say of course we're talking about our own experiences and ones that we're familiar with but that might not be the case for everybody agrees that the parting ways or separating and starting to live separate lives is the right decision. For the two people and their family, you know, if they have children and things like that it's still a tremendous loss.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it is.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it is baggage, because if you don't address it then it just you carry it on to the next thing. I mean, think about it. It's like when you were married. It's like the issues that you were dealing with then you weren't married. It's like if you weren't careful, you could take all of that same shit that you were responsible for. Because we're not I mean, we have half of the contribution you know Sure. But you could take that into the next relationship and it's like Groundhog's Day.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Ladies, do not do that. Let that shit go. It has no place into something that you're stepping into. So that takes us really to step two as far as what we're talking about, and that is to reframe the story. That would be step two. So one is identifying the weight of the baggage that you're carrying and then two. So one is identifying the weight of the baggage that you're carrying and then two, reframing the story and what the power of perception has to do with that. Right, have you wanted?

Speaker 2:

if you think about it, if you've run across people, or yourself or myself, you know when you are out there. In those circumstances and, michelle, suspension power perception how do you shift yourself from being the victim of something to being empowered by something Empowered Absolutely, yeah, I mean it could be a physically abusive relation.

Speaker 2:

There could be kinds of things like that where you truly are the victim. Maybe you're the victim of verbal abuse, maybe you know you're the victim of, you know incestuous, you know behavior, whatever the case may be. How do you shift from victim? Because when you're in victim of incestuous behavior, whatever the case may be, how do you shift from victim? Because when you're in victim mode, you're constantly trying to dig yourself out of a hole?

Speaker 1:

For me. I mean, it's so interesting because I only know this, because I've learned it, I've moved through that, and for me I had to take those experiences and treat them as lessons, right Lessons, and not failures.

Speaker 2:

Well, so how long did it take you to get to the point where you gave yourself the ability to do that?

Speaker 1:

It took a while, right, because you know, for you're going into flight or fight or flight mode, right yeah, and your survival mode, if you will, and you're just like doing whatever you have to get through things. And it's not until you get to this point where you're like, okay, and you have to self-recognize some of the things and what it is you want going forward and that's where the empowered part comes in.

Speaker 2:

But that goes back to other things like your level of self-confidence for example. I mean if you've been in a situation where you've never really had the ability to be around people who have empowered you, even as a child or as a teenager, or in a marriage or with your family, whatever the case may be. How do you turn into an empowered person if you don't even know what that looks?

Speaker 1:

like If you want those things. I guess I can only speak from my own experience, right, and I didn't know what I didn't know, but I knew that what was is not what I wanted to be, and I knew who I wasn't, who I really wanted to be or who I was, who you were meant to be, yeah, right, and so it just started this. You know you have to dive in and start looking at things and what things really bring you joy and you know what moments really bring you true happiness and what all that is. And then you recognize the need for setting boundaries so that you can accomplish those things. And it is a process. It is not something that is just oh, I need to do this and yep, everything's. You know, yippee, skippee, and here we go. No, it is a lot of-. It's not a switch. Intention, it is not a switch that you can flip. There's a lot of intention behind it and, I think, a lot of self-awareness too, and that's where I believe people struggle, myself included.

Speaker 1:

I mean thinking about.

Speaker 2:

You know, we'll talk about the marriage for a moment when we talk about, like in step one, identifying the weight. I can recall very specifically saying when my divorce was final and it's not like my husband beat me or was abused, it wasn't anything like that, but it was not a healthy relation but I remember very distinctly saying I felt like I could breathe again and it was okay.

Speaker 1:

That chapter, technically, is over. Now it's on me. No excuse. Kind of scary, isn't it too?

Speaker 2:

at the same time it's totally scary because it's like okay, all these things that you claim that you wanted there's nobody to blame anymore, right?

Speaker 1:

You can't say, well, this, that or the other thing, it's all on you. Yeah, and I think that's part of the motivation. It was for me anyways, part of the motivation to move forward in a different direction. Those of you that know me know that never settle was a big mantra for me for more than a few years during that time, for me for more than a few years during that time, and it's tattooed on her. You guys, it is tattooed on my foot. Yeah, never settle. But you know, it's that kind of mission. I was on a mission to make it different, to make a change for my own personal life. If you're feeling that way, then this is where those things come into play. Reframe your story, turn the page. You have the ability to make whatever. The outcome is completely in your control.

Speaker 2:

Right, well, and also, like you had mentioned a second ago, looking at situations that you're in as lessons and not failure. Yes, I mean, there's been definite situations where I've been in them and I've been like, oh shit, I got to get myself out of this and I didn't look at it like a failure at all, I just looked at it like part of the journey and it's not taking. It's not a lack of accountability, because that's not at all what I'm talking about. It's more like I can choose to let this put me down further, or I can choose to use it as something that is going to make me better or more well-rounded or have a different type of experience. And it's really up to me, it's up to you ladies, it's up to you, michelle. How we choose to do that is really our own decision and nobody else's really.

Speaker 1:

And that's the action. Yeah, that's what step three is is releasing it with action. So what are some of the things that one can do to bring them through? Letting go, because they have to be actionable things?

Speaker 2:

Yeah Right. Well, there's definitely rituals and things, symbols, symbolic things, that you can do. Yeah, like on summer solstice, winter solstice, which is obviously twice a year there's this process, like at wintertime, where we had the Yule log and we all wrote down what we want, our intention, whatever it was.

Speaker 2:

Everybody's different, nobody saw each other. And then you made whatever you know secret promise to yourself, or ever you know mantra, or your prayer, whatever you were doing. And then you threw it in the fire. Yeah, and you know, symbolically, you're supposed to let it go. Now, does that work?

Speaker 1:

I don't know. The action of doing that is not what makes it happen. No, but it's the intention behind it, right, and the action of actually doing that, writing it down. You hear so many times about how much more goals are achievable. Write them down, if you say them out loud, if you have them in front of you.

Speaker 1:

If you tell someone Exactly yeah, because then you're accountable, yeah, so same thing with letting shit go Write it down, light it on fire, let it go up into the air and disintegrate, because that is what we are doing.

Speaker 2:

We are letting it go. When we say let it go, though we're not, we don't mean like pretend it like it didn't happen. Right, right, it's just like Release, bless and release it is part of what makes you who you are and you know the strength that you have as a woman, going through what you have gone through, and you can speak to those experiences just like we are right now. Right, I know we've talked about dancing, just body movement in general exercise that helps to.

Speaker 1:

It's always sore, but it's like I find like when I'm like when I'm at night trying to just like literally relax, not have, like maybe I'll have rain sounds on, I really need it. I have to physically tell myself, okay, I on to all of that pain, that pain, that stress, that tension our body, yeah, we don't even realize, I know, and so that goes kind of back to self-care too.

Speaker 2:

But you don't realize it until you start grinding your teeth, like I left when I was at Nordstrom. I like cracked my, I cracked my molar from grinding my teeth, oh my goodness. Well, you know of course I was stressed out beyond all belief. I wouldn't have admitted that to anyone.

Speaker 1:

at that time, we loved our job.

Speaker 2:

We loved our job. Are we saying that like a cult? We?

Speaker 1:

love our job.

Speaker 2:

But we did let it go. We did let it go and it was the best decision ever, Although I got to say I learned so much from being there that I'm never going to regret it.

Speaker 1:

Me too.

Speaker 2:

I'm thankful for my yeah, I let go of my teeth grinding.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

I'm not kidding. I did not even connect the dots until maybe a year later. And then all of a sudden I'm like I'd gone to the dentist and he was like you're not grinding your teeth anymore.

Speaker 1:

I mean in general, it has to do with whether you're happy or not, because, same I was, I had that issue until the job I'm at now for the last three years Completely cool, I'm happy. There's stressful moments, but it's in a completely different way.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you're not bringing it home. Holds on to a lot of the tension and the stress and you know you're. You may try to convey a different persona on the outside, but on the inside, if you've got stuff going on that is because of relationship baggage that you are holding on to, then it's acknowledging it as the first step you know, let it go, yeah, let it go. So let let's talk about maybe step forward in setting boundaries and breaking some of these patterns.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so how do you recognize these toxic cycles? And you find yourself completely. You know, you get this angst within you, whether it's text messages or whatever it is a phone call from a certain individual.

Speaker 2:

I'm just speaking of my ex-husband and going through things or you see it come up on their phone. You're like, oh no.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you have to recognize what that does to your body, your mind, your soul completely and, if that's happening, making the decision to commit to making healthier choices. Whether it's blocking, right, yeah, delete, block, move on, you know, not engage in those toxic conversations, whatever. It is, just letting it be.

Speaker 2:

You know, let's talk about that blocking thing for a second I hesitate with that sometimes only because it feels very juvenile, but at the same time it's like it's out of sight out of mind.

Speaker 1:

Well, here's the thing it is out of sight, out of mind, and when you're having to deal with text message after text message after text message after text message after text message after text message, and that I would block, you're just trying to get on with your day, right? Or phone call after phone call and being paged to where you're at working.

Speaker 1:

I'm talking about these things because I have experienced this Right and, yeah, that in itself is the juvenile part. So blocking that is really not. It's actually healthy. That's the healthy choice is to cut that out so that you can have peace and move about with the things that you're trying to move about with and you don't have that person. And you don't have that. They don't have control. You have control when you do that.

Speaker 2:

I think the key is if you're blocking and unblocking.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, then that's it.

Speaker 2:

Then you're kind of creating more of the drama and the angst for yourself. If you're blocking, unblocking 100%. I remember I had been in a few years ago in a relationship that was been in a few years ago in a relationship that wasn't I didn't realize it was very toxic. It was pretty toxic and exactly what you're talking about was happening because I, you know, I was like I was done, I was just I was not moving forward with this and it was a really hard thing, I think, for him to grasp and I was having a hard time grasping it and so it's not easy. The blocking and the unblocking and the blocking, I mean it was just it was so much drama and toxic behavior and it was so not good for me. Yeah, but it took me a while to kind of process through some of that and get over it and try to figure it out and then really realize. You know, I really kind of feel sorry for this person because they're so fucked up.

Speaker 1:

Who is it? I think it's Mel Robbins. Yeah, she's got the whole let them thing. Yeah, right, and I can't speak a lot to it because I haven't dove into it 100 percent, but that's what that's all about. Let them, yeah, do all that if they want, let them. That is not. It is not going to speak to how I control that situation.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, or how you choose to participate Exactly. Yeah, well, and I think the key too is whether you choose to participate Right or not. Yeah, yeah. It's so much. It's never easy, but it's much more recognizable now. But if you want toxic shit out of your life, it's shit or get off the potluck Right, let it go. Well, that's the whole thing. It's kind of like is it toxic enough to let it go, or is it something that you're holding on to because it brings you self-worth?

Speaker 2:

or brings you what you perceived value, or it's attention. It could be attention if it's from you know a significant other, or someone who you're dating. I mean, it could be any of those things. So you have to.

Speaker 1:

Kind of brings us into step five, which is you know, really grasping and embracing what is going on now Right, and being open to what lies ahead in the future.

Speaker 2:

So let me ask you this it's like you have people that are in your past, let's say that have had really unhealthy, toxic behavior 15 years ago, 20 years ago, yeah. Do they remain in the past? You know what? Or do you continue judging them on whatever happened 20 years ago? Or is that person someone who you would allow back in your life, because I mean do you see what I'm saying? Someone who would be?

Speaker 1:

back you would allow back in your life, because, I mean, do you see what I'm saying? I do see what you're saying and I think it. There's a whole lot of different circumstances there, you know, I guess and it's coming to mind, of course, the man that I was married to for 26 years right, of course, the things in the past, though those are all experiences that will be in the past. But to avoid and to be able to move on and be open to things in the future, you have to let those things remain in the past. Don't continue to bring them up with what's happening now. Don't compare with what you have going on now. If you're in a new relationship, don't bring that into what you have going on now.

Speaker 2:

It does not have anything, it's not to say that you wouldn't want to learn from whatever those situations are.

Speaker 1:

I was going to say it doesn't have anything to do with what is going on now. You've learned from what you've experienced, right, and you can bring that into what's going on now, but I think it's kind of a it's a very delicate balance. It is a very delicate balance.

Speaker 2:

You're like, you have your. You know, let's talk dating for a sec your red flags.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you know the red flags of things that you know are have been toxic in the past. Yeah, and do you still ignore those red flags because they're different? Or, moving on, I'm stronger, do I identify those things more? And then you get yourself back into the same place because the person's the same, has the same tendencies as maybe the person that you were with before, and that's why you see people getting, you know, married and divorced, or you know, being out with the same people and dropping that person, ending up with another person that's very similar. You know, maybe it's a type, I don't know. I think some of those things you have to really analyze yourself, because you don't make the decisions, or I shouldn't say that the other way around. It's like you make the decisions on who you're spending your time with. Well, I think you have to choose yourself first.

Speaker 1:

Right, you have to must. Over and above everything else, you must choose yourself first, and do you think that's perceived as selfish? I think it can be perceived as selfish, but you and I both know that you have to do that.

Speaker 2:

You have to do that. It's kind of like when you're on the airplane and you're supposed to put your mask on first before you help the person next to you, Because if you don't have your mask on then you can't really help the little kid next to you because you'll be passed out.

Speaker 1:

Here's the thing. If you're choosing yourself first, in many different situations and with regard to you know, self-love and some of the mindset shifts mindset shifts that we're talking about dating, for example, and choosing to trust love again, if you're choosing yourself first, you will be more self-aware of what brings you happiness, what things you will allow, what you won't allow, and everybody. There's different circumstances, like somebody's heart and mindset is going to be different in a whole new person, right, and they will have had their whole life experiences and things that have brought them to that point. There's a whole lot that has to be taken into consideration. It is not cut and dried like that.

Speaker 1:

That's like my mantra of never settle. I can't just be like, oh, I'm never going to settle again because this, that and the other thing that I experienced in the past Right, because people you know as you move through and go forward into the future and people that you allow into your life. It's just so many different circumstances. It is not cut and dried. You have to pay attention, you have to know what you want for yourself, what you will allow for yourself and, once you're self-aware and, I think, trusting choose yourself, yeah trusting your instincts and choosing yourself first.

Speaker 1:

You know it's proceed with caution but at the same time take those risks. Life is too short.

Speaker 2:

Well, and I think, learning from past mistakes, learning from past decisions, it's like I 100% agree with you. I think if you take all of those hurts and you pile them all up, we all have them. If you take them into the next, let's say, romantic relationship, you're going to be dealing with the same, don't? Do that you may have some pretty amazing person. Yes, that is like why are you not trusting me?

Speaker 1:

And nobody's perfect.

Speaker 2:

No, including us. Yes, I know it's hard to believe Joking, yeah, but yeah, if you take those things into the next relationship that you have, you're going to have some of the same problems, because they're really coming from you. Yeah, unless you're choosing someone who has the same characteristics, which we fall into those patterns we do. If you're looking at what your quote type is, you can fall into those patterns pretty easily. And it's funny because in the dating world I can even tell you myself if I see someone or run across someone who looks like my ex-husband and he's a good-looking guy, it's not like he's not a good looking guy, it's more like if he has that persona, if he has that the vibe, the vibe, if he's in the vibe law enforcement I'm just like I go run the other freaking direction.

Speaker 2:

I won't even I won't be hunting. You know all the things that I was. I don't want to deal with that anymore, and so it's really not fair, right, but it's. It is what it is. It's like I know what I've experienced and I know you know. If some of those little things are in there, great, but it's like the vast majority of what I would want in a relationship is not that. What I would want in a relationship is not that. I already had that, so you got to learn from what you had, yeah.

Speaker 1:

And basically impart what you want going forward, and I think part of that, I guess that's what maybe a challenge would be that I put out to you listeners right now. All you spicy midlife women out there you know, write down maybe something that is past relationship baggage that is holding you back, identify it, write it down and make the conscious decision to release it. Right, we don't have to, like, burn it in the fire like we were talking about or anything like that. You can just write it down, recognize it that it's holding you back and then rip that paper up, right. You know what?

Speaker 2:

else you could do.

Speaker 1:

Just like throw it up in the air and dance it out.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you say I give no fucks, zero, zero. Well, I was thinking it's like one really good way to release, like when you're just frustrating, when you're angry, frustrated, whatever is just take your pillow and scream your bloody head off in your pillow yeah, I've had to do that before and it actually made me feel better. Yeah, you know, just like getting some of that tension out and it doesn't change the circumstances, but I felt better write it, write it down, rip it up, dance it out.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, there we.

Speaker 2:

And we would love you guys to share your thoughts, too, with your podcast community that we're building, because we all have been dealing with something in one capacity or another. Whether it's a friendship, a family member, a romantic relationship, it doesn't really matter, but it's like the baggage that we bring with it, you know, is something that we control and we can make a decision on if we want to hold on to it and be angry people or bitter people or, you know, people who don't trust anything or anybody, and live our life that way.

Speaker 1:

There's no way to live, it isn't no?

Speaker 2:

I mean, I can think of this lady. She's my aunt, she's dead now, but she, I know.

Speaker 1:

I don't mean to laugh, just the way you said that my, yeah, this lady, she's my now, but she, I know I don't mean to laugh.

Speaker 2:

It's just the way you said that my, yeah, this lady she's my aunt. She's dead now, she's gone now, but she, it's funny as I've learned more about her. You know she was my godmother growing up. But anyway, long and short of it is, she was married to my uncle, who's an alcoholic, and he was not physically abusive, but he was very verbally abusive, from what I remember, and it was an ugly divorce, ugly, ugly divorce. And I was probably I don't know 14, 15 or something when they got divorced. She never let it go.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you got to let it go, ladies, but you literally could see over the years, her bitterness and her anger and her cynicalness just eating her away.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you know, and she died that way and it's sad. I think it's really sad because she could have had a really lovely productive life where she learned joy and happiness. And she chose she physically chose not to, and you know, and that's her decision, obviously, but what a waste, what a waste of a life is kind of how I look at it.

Speaker 1:

There you go, write it down, rip it up, dance it out, dance it out. Dance it out, dance it out. All right, but back to the community. So this is part of we are so excited to, and will continue to, build a community for women who are at that stage in life, asking questions, being curious, and we're going to make a landing place for all of you so that we can, you know, learn from each other and grow and have fun with it.

Speaker 2:

And there's some pretty amazing experiences that you know you have had out there that I think all of us can benefit from.

Speaker 1:

We need to all learn from each other. So the Spicy Midlife Women podcast is out there on whatever podcast platform is your preference, that's a lot of P's, I know. Is your preference. You will find us out there, as well as on the socials Facebook, spicy Midlife Women, instagram. We are out there on TikTok and even YouTube, so just check us out. We are excited to be here and can't wait to bring you all along with us in the. Spicy Midlife Women community. That's right.

Speaker 2:

Because we're spicy. Yeah, all right, until next week then, ladies, keep it spicy, yeah, and we'll chat with you soon.

Speaker 1:

All right, later Stay spicy.

Speaker 2:

Peace out, bye, bye.