Spicy Midlife Women: Real Talk, Raw Truth, and Bold Moves for Women Over 40
Spicy Midlife Women is the ultimate podcast for women over 40 who are rewriting the rules of midlife, breaking free from relationship drama, and leaving toxic patterns behind.
It’s all about embracing authenticity, building meaningful connections, and living unapologetically through candid conversations, hard-earned wisdom, and raw truth.
Hosted by Jules and Michele, two midlife women with real stories and no-BS advice, the Spicy MidLife Women Podcast will guide you in redefining relationships, breaking free from what's holding you back, and reclaiming your power—one episode at a time!
Prepare to get clear on what you really want in your relationships—whether it’s romance, family, or friendships, let go of past baggage and open yourself up to the possibility of fresh, exciting connections.
You’ll also gain the wisdom and confidence to approach dating and relationships with confidence and zero judgment, and feel empowered to ditch outdated expectations, creating a life that truly feels good on your own terms.
Plus, find a supportive sisterhood along the way—because you don’t have to do this alone!
Spicy Midlife Women: Real Talk, Raw Truth, and Bold Moves for Women Over 40
15. Midlife Moments That Make You Say “WTF” (and Why They Matter)
Midlife is about so much more than menopause and hot flashes – it's about those wild, weird, and unexpected moments that make you stop and laugh. These WTF moments unite us as women navigating this transformative phase of life.
Join Julee and Michele, as they delve into the unpredictable and often comical aspects of midlife. From experiencing brain fog and menopause to the societal and personal shifts that occur, they discuss it all with humor and candor. They share personal anecdotes about forgetfulness, quirky bodily changes, and their journeys of self-discovery. This episode encourages laughter, understanding, and empowerment for all women navigating midlife.
In This Episode:
- Understanding Midlife Beyond Menopause
- Navigating Brain Fog and Forgetfulness
- The Reality of Midlife Challenges
- Balancing Emotions and Responsibilities
- Social Shifts and Midlife Realizations
- Owning Your Midlife Choices
- Embracing Midlife Messiness
Are you ready to take your "spiciness" to the next level?!
Connect with Julee & Michele on Instagram @spicy_midlife_women and send a DM about what resonated most during this episode so they can encourage you with steps forward in your own life.
Hey all you spicy ladies out there. It's Jules and Michelle here, your midlife women, who are sharing their stories with you all the way from the Pacific Northwest, seattle Washington and planning to have some no BS conversations along the way Right here with my friend Michelle.
Speaker 2:That's me and you're exactly right, jules here to help all you midlife women me and you're exactly right, jules here to help all you midlife women redefine your relationships, ditch those toxic cycles and reclaim your power, one episode at a time, right here with us. That's right.
Speaker 1:So let's get into it, Michelle. What are we talking about?
Speaker 2:today, let's do it Well, talking about midlife, oh shock and surprise yeah. But how it's more than just you know about hot flashes, hormone swings, because when you think of midlife, I think menopause is totally attached to it.
Speaker 1:I mean it's valid, there's a lot of our listeners out there that haven't even started experiencing this yet, though.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So, oh boy, are you in for a treat, or they don't know.
Speaker 2:they have, yeah, one or the other yeah but it's also about the wild, weird and kind of unexpected things that make you stop and just kind of, if nothing else, laugh about it. Yeah, right, there's yeah. And just like yeah, what, hi, did that just happen?
Speaker 1:you know, know, that sort of thing WTF.
Speaker 2:Yep, yeah, wtaf.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, those moments, ladies. So we're going to talk a little bit about those, because you're not alone. We know that this is kind of a thing, and it's more having an epiphany on things that are going on in your life around you, you know that sort of thing where you're like did that just happen? I cannot believe that just happened.
Speaker 2:Like is this normal? Yeah, have I lost my damn mind. I mean all those things, yeah.
Speaker 1:So we want to be a little spicy about this too, because you have to have laughter around a lot of this stuff. If you don't, you're seriously going to sit there like a little curmudgeon.
Speaker 2:Because it is what it is.
Speaker 1:I mean, it is what it is as she sits here and drinks her seltzer.
Speaker 2:It is what it is, yeah, so have you ever had brain fog?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, let's talk about that. Well, I've never been able to differentiate between brain fog and just being ditzy. Well, because, I have that I have that reputation.
Speaker 2:That's a valid point.
Speaker 1:Jules, hey, my keys, my keys, yeah, that kind of stuff. But truly it's like I think it's that self-diagnosed adhd too, I'm just gonna say. But those are things where I feel like the brain fog, like sometimes I'm not like present, completely present there's a lot of memes on on the socials about this yeah, and they use.
Speaker 2:They use that song by Earth, wind, fire. Do you remember La la la? And then the music gets all screechy and weird because you, like, find yourself standing in the kitchen totally forgetting why you're there. Oh yeah, we've all had those moments, yeah.
Speaker 1:And so I guess the one point to make here is that you guys are not alone.
Speaker 1:You know, it's like every week, especially if there is a holiday. Some of you might experience this If there's a holiday in the week, that throws off like the week, meaning Monday is a holiday and so all of a sudden, now I'm off for the rest of the week. I think Thursday is Wednesday, the weekend comes and I feel like it's I just yeah. So that is. Maybe it's because life is fleeting and is passing before us so quickly. I don't know, but that seems to happen.
Speaker 2:That must be what it's like in retirement. I mean, I'm not there yet.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:God, no, you know, mix these two, the whole menopause thing, and when you get to retirement and everything blends together, yeah.
Speaker 1:Retirement and everything blends together, yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's got to be one big clusterfuck.
Speaker 1:I know I don't want that to happen. I don't want to have everything blend together, but I mean, like being on permanent vacation, you know how much money I would spend. So much money I need to be well prepared when that time comes. I think, because I have a feeling I will like want to redecorate everything. So I wonder if we could get our listeners to tell us what their weirdest things are that they've forgotten lately that might be something we have to post rain fog moment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I had a friend once that told me she put her remote control in the refrigerator yeah, I've done that.
Speaker 1:What? Yeah, I have. I've done that. Have you really? And I put my the. This is just last week. I put my coffee cup, like I made my coffee and probably thought I was putting the creamer back into the fridge, and I put my coffee cup. And so I'm looking all over for my freaking coffee, and it was in the fridge.
Speaker 2:Okay, I have went to put toothpaste on my toothbrush and grabbed my BB cream.
Speaker 1:It's in like a tube and it's upside down.
Speaker 2:You know, I have it standing there on the counter. Did you put?
Speaker 1:it in your mouth.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't, I caught it. I was like what are you doing, michelle? That is not the toothpaste tube.
Speaker 1:So some of this might come with also just being like really busy.
Speaker 2:I kind of.
Speaker 1:I use the analogy of when your cup is really full and your cup runneth over. It's like this is like your brain running over. You know, when you have your hands and so many different things, that stuff just falls off the top. You know the unimportant things, I guess just kind of fall off the top, but it really is a part of menopause.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, it truly is a symptom. Those things do happen, yeah.
Speaker 1:Menopause is a whole nother topic yeah, I know actually I'm not gonna get into it, but we're gonna actually have an expert come and talk to us a little bit about some of those things because I never really paid attention, I had no idea all I knew was this damn hot flash thing and I was miserable and I got teased which is just even more insane. Oh, she's flashing. Yeah, that does happen, and I'm like damn, it's like, don't make it worse.
Speaker 2:So anyway.
Speaker 1:I kind of along with that. It's like I think that your body sometimes starts betraying you.
Speaker 2:That's part of the body, yeah, the whole. That's a good word the body betrayal.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So things like allergies, like do you have you had allergies that you didn't have before.
Speaker 2:But I hear people say that all the time. Yeah, I never used to have allergies, but here they are, or they have now. That can't eat gluten. Yeah.
Speaker 1:They were always able to eat gluten, but then now they can't. I ask myself about those things.
Speaker 2:Part of all the food stuff that goes on nowadays, and that's again a whole other episode which we will not get into.
Speaker 1:But I know I was. I was just saying OK. Back in the 1800s did they have food allergies? No Well they might have and they didn't know, but not like it is today.
Speaker 2:Kind of like they could have had cancer and they didn't know. I feel like every child is allergic to peanuts now.
Speaker 1:I know I mean really it's a totally off subject, but just for a second here. I'm in a lot of old homes right, yeah.
Speaker 2:I love these old homes, these turn of the century homes and everything their closets, literally michelle you could not even put like five of your things yeah and michelle has her closet pretty full yeah, and you can't stand up and I'm, because of the slanted roof, right canceling but that's back in those days, which was way before we were ever around.
Speaker 1:It's, you know, they had like four dresses maybe and a couple pairs of shoes maybe and some like undergarments that were, you know, practical, yeah, and you know all this shit. It's like, basically, you know, this is how people live. Yeah, very simple. So we're in a different place now. We have definitely added a lot more to our social agendas and to our family agendas and everything. So that's where I think some of that comes from.
Speaker 2:But yeah, back to the body betrayal. Have you ever like? Well, there's the sneezing and I mean let's just get real Wedding. You do a little bit of wetting of the pants, right, or you got to cross your legs so you don't do that when you sneeze. Or your back goes out because you sneeze. I mean there's all those things.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, we're sounding so old.
Speaker 2:Well, we are, god damn it.
Speaker 1:We're on the later part of midlife right I know well, and so there's ways to fix some of those things right, because you huh kegels, kegels, yeah, kegels yeah yeah, you're uh your kegel exercises and they actually have, like it's actually good for sex too. They have like these whole like series where you're doing you're. Of course, I'm seeing a lot of this on instagram, but you're doing these exercises. Basically, you look like you're doing. Of course, I'm seeing a lot of this on Instagram, but you're doing these exercises Basically, you look like you're having sex, strengthening your pelvic, yeah, yeah, floor.
Speaker 1:But you know you're just watching TV or something.
Speaker 2:They have toys for that too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh really yeah, oh nice, oh, I'm sure she'll get into those Strengthen those muscles and then body betrayals, like you know, like sweating at night, yeah. What about that? It sucks.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And that is something that I remember not really kind of understanding. You wake up and you're like oh, part of midlife, you're not a one-off. This is normal stuff it's normal, I know, but you know, here's the thing it's normal, but nobody really talks about it. That's why we're talking about it, I know, because it's not super sexy it's not, but it can be it's. Whatever you make it, I know well. I mean, I think that's why people don't talk about stuff like we do amongst women.
Speaker 1:yeah, exactly, and we and we have our women tribe here right so yeah, we can talk about all this shit and they're going to go. Oh God girl. I get it, you know or oh, I don't want to deal with that. You know you may have seen your mom go through some stuff or you're starting to experience things, but it's not just about menopause. I think a lot of it is that you know we're in the place in our lives where you're doing so much for so many people and yourself, kind of, you put yourself on the back burner and so it is changing.
Speaker 2:It's part of the bigger part of the picture and the whole dynamic.
Speaker 1:I felt like with a lot of that, like when you're in your period, you're. I was talking with a young woman who's very close to me, who has this thing where we talk about. She's like, oh, my period's going to be coming or oh, no, I'm in my period or no, my period was like she literally has one good week a month.
Speaker 2:I've noticed that with young, because, you know, I have four boys, so there's younger women in their life, obviously, and I noticed that they're talking about when they're on their period and this, that. Oh, I'm cramping and in my mind I'm thinking, good lord, weren't you just doing that like last week, I know.
Speaker 1:But here's the thing, michelle. It's like the same thing happened with us, but it's like I just never even paid attention. I just went oh god, I feel sick again yeah. You know, but yeah, and those kinds of things create a different level of emotion You're not able to handle as much, maybe on some of those days, or you're crying for no reason and not feeling so great about yourself.
Speaker 2:I mean, let's be honest, you're like releasing a shit ton of blood most of the time, yeah, from not the best place to be doing it from, and you're walking around still trying to feel beautiful and sexy and you got all that going on and it brings a lot into play on top of the emotional factors that's going on with your body.
Speaker 1:Ooh, you want to be really bold, wear white pants.
Speaker 2:Oh jeez yeah.
Speaker 1:Wear some white trousers or a white dress or something you know a lot of that happening, yeah I can remember being like so I want to say stressed out, but just like a lot going on. You know a lot of moving parts and the kids may always made a joke about how I'd be like take care of this or I'd be like talking about take care of this go to your room, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then the phone would ring and I'd be hello, this is Julie.
Speaker 1:Like I was, like a different person, yeah, not missing a beat, I'd answer the phone and nobody would know otherwise. You? There's jokes about realtors that are like this too, oh yeah, how they're all. They're all you know, like jamming out to their beats blah, blah, blah and then blah, and then their client calls and goes of course I'd be happy to help with that, yeah. Yeah, and I've done that too. Yeah, we do that in life. Yeah.
Speaker 2:We do that in life and I can think back of you know times where, yeah, it was super emotional with my kids and I did, you know, yell at them and my kids.
Speaker 1:You yelled at your kids.
Speaker 2:Well, they joke about me flipping a coffee table once. Oh, you must have been pissed and I did do that. Yeah, I did, and I threw my phone at the wall. That was a long time ago, but yes, but did it feel good? Well, I just told them better these things than you, I know. Right, okay, you're lucky.
Speaker 1:I didn say who says oh yeah, that stuff doesn't happen. They're lying, they are so not being truthful. That's cap, and that's a new word I've learned.
Speaker 2:Oh cap.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, it's not a word, I'm going to use, and that's always like summertime too, with the screens open. Your windows are open and the screens are open.
Speaker 2:I'd always be very aware of how much I was. Yeah. Well, I think that's when the kids would pop off more yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm just like then you can send them outside. Yeah, get out of here. Yeah, I think the one thing, too, that might be noticeable to some of our listeners certainly is to me is the social shifts that we've started to notice. You know like Michelle and I joke about how how well she gets up super early for work, and in the summertime I'll get up earlier than I do, maybe in the winter time just because the sun will wake me up and I'll be more happy about being up, or I'm just like, hey, it's 9 30, you can get to bed, michelle you gotta get to bed, or I know?
Speaker 1:I've got a friend. I've got a friend who I was just talking with him last night and I was like, okay, I'm, I'm coming home from my dance class, which, by the way, on the episode that I can't remember what episode number it is, it's the one we dropped a couple weeks ago. I was talking about how I was going to make Michelle go with me and.
Speaker 1:I didn't even make her go with me, I just did it on my own. She's being a big girl, I was being a big girl and it's totally fun, we'll. Anyway, I've noticed those social shifts and so, like this friend of mine is like let's go grab a drink, and I'm like I'm already home in my jammies. You know, he's like you're so lame and I was like, well, I tried to be spontaneous and I like to plan a little bit.
Speaker 2:It's easier to do that now, though, don't you think I don't even care? Yeah, you hit midlife, you're going through things, and then you just get to this point where you have no patience for bullshit. Right, you are able to, like you just did, say no Unapologetically. I mean, I'm sure you apologize, but I mean, like, gives me so much shit. Yeah, like no, I won't be doing that. And you just told me about another situation where you politely declined like no, this yeah, no, not gonna do that don't feel like it.
Speaker 1:Super cute though, oh, but I declined anyway, just because follow through sucks. That's a whole dating conversation, but whatever.
Speaker 2:And then just there's a lot of moments for me where even at work, I'm like the oldest person. I'm the oldest person there, but it's a lot easier for me now, for whatever reason, to own that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I guess, because it is what it is. But with all of that comes the experience that you get as you move on through midlife. Move on through midlife and because you're able to weed out and not have the patience for the BS and be able to say no, you're setting more boundaries, you're doing the things you want, you're not feeling bad about things that bring you joy. All of those reasons it's easier to own, that it comes along with that age bracket.
Speaker 1:I think there's a balance, though, because owning things like that and just saying, yeah, no, that's not for me, or whatever that's totally fine, I totally get that.
Speaker 1:But then you run into people who are so set in their ways or they're so done with everything that you just want to give them a big hug because they seem so stuck, and so I think there's a balance between those two things. I can think of this one contractor that I was working with. It was just such a curmudgeon and I just was like why are you so crabby?
Speaker 1:He's like oh, the people cut me off on the freeway. You know I'm just like dude. Seriously, you need to smoke a chiller. You need to calm down a little bit. I don't know what's going on with you, but yeah, I don't want to be that person that ends up being that old person.
Speaker 2:That has to do, I think, with other factors that you allow into your life to affect your emotions. Right, I think there's a difference between that how you choose to handle things and that's a thing like owning it and how you handle yourself. Yeah, there can be a classy way to do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:As a spicy midlife women, yeah like oh, hell no.
Speaker 1:You know, that's really classy yeah she's 22 23 years old we were just talking about I don't know. We were talking about different things and she's like I've told my friends about you. I told them I want to be like you when I'm your age. She's kind of a mature 23 year old. Yeah, kind of can talk with adults so to speak. So it's not like maybe some kid who can't carry on a conversation or gives you that gen z stare?
Speaker 1:or whatever, yeah, but she thought gen z stares were annoying. I had to ask her about that too, and she was like I just think it's when people are lazy. I have to agree, you are my person.
Speaker 2:I'm telling her you're my person, you're just you know 23. So anyway.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I think it's about just kind of not worrying about what the outcome is going to be beyond what your decisions are for yourself. You know that social shift that you start to see you have more preferences, you know, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I think that's actually it's kind of you defining okay, I've tried all these different things, I've done all these things, I've been these things for other people, so now I'm just kind of like doing it for myself.
Speaker 2:It's the landing strip for where you're at. You know, you've kind of come to that point and you know you know, there's another.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're not talking about that landing strip. I said it. I have a feeling about the landing strip. I'm going to regret using that term. Yeah, exactly. No, I'm talking about the landing strip of life. Okay, not the pubes. Okay, different one, different landings. But I think something to remember, as we've talked about all these WTF moments that there are, is to kind of utilize them as an empowerment tool. Yeah, an empowerment tool.
Speaker 2:Yeah Right, because you know, as you go through midlife, you're evolving, you're growing, you're changing, you're getting rid of, just like we were just talking about getting rid of expectations, whatever they are. You know socially or whatever, and you know the moments, as weird as they can be, like putting a remote control in the refrigerator or forgetting why you walked into a room. You're just, you know, you're kind of waking up. At least you're aware, You're recognizing those things, You're alive.
Speaker 1:And you're laughing and you can laugh at yourself and it's okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's okay. Midlife is messy.
Speaker 1:Midlife can be messy, for sure. But it's like I think that just the joy of kind of going, I'm here and I'm doing it. And it's funny and again I'm kind of a ding dong, but who cares?
Speaker 2:I always use the term, sometimes with my boyfriend or even my kids. I'm like, yes, it's me, I'm here for your entertainment purposes, because they do get a good laugh out of some of this shit.
Speaker 1:Well, I would love to have our listeners DM us if they are so inclined. That would be great and let us know what their WTF moments might be in midlife, or even just kind of transitioning in with or listening to the podcast, because you know there's some really juicy ones out there.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, more than what we've just talked about. As far as DMing us, go find us on all the socials because we are there, spicy Midlife Women, and we've got fun pages. So if you like what you're listening to, please tell your friends about us, those other Spicy Midlife Women, and share. Give us a follow.
Speaker 1:And that's where you can DM, because we would love to hear some of your midlife WTF moments. If any of this resonates with you, you're going. Oh my. God, that's so me yeah, because I guarantee you Slide into our DMs, ladies, Slide yeah. We won't take it personally. No, we won't, we won't. Anyway. Okay, until next time then.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're wrapping it up, just keep the WTFs on the forefront and just have fun with them, ladies.