Spicy Midlife Women: Real Talk, Raw Truth, and Bold Moves for Women Over 40
Spicy Midlife Women is the ultimate podcast for women over 40 who are rewriting the rules of midlife, breaking free from relationship drama, and leaving toxic patterns behind.
It’s all about embracing authenticity, building meaningful connections, and living unapologetically through candid conversations, hard-earned wisdom, and raw truth.
Hosted by Jules and Michele, two midlife women with real stories and no-BS advice, the Spicy MidLife Women Podcast will guide you in redefining relationships, breaking free from what's holding you back, and reclaiming your power—one episode at a time!
Prepare to get clear on what you really want in your relationships—whether it’s romance, family, or friendships, let go of past baggage and open yourself up to the possibility of fresh, exciting connections.
You’ll also gain the wisdom and confidence to approach dating and relationships with confidence and zero judgment, and feel empowered to ditch outdated expectations, creating a life that truly feels good on your own terms.
Plus, find a supportive sisterhood along the way—because you don’t have to do this alone!
Spicy Midlife Women: Real Talk, Raw Truth, and Bold Moves for Women Over 40
17. How to Be a Little Selfish After 40 (And Why It’s Necessary)
Ladies, it’s time to flip the script on what it really means to be “selfish.” In this episode of Spicy Midlife Women, Jules and Michele dive into why prioritizing yourself after 40 isn’t selfish at all—it’s necessary.
From setting boundaries and learning to say “no” without guilt, to protecting your peace, investing in your body, and unapologetically taking up space, we’re breaking down four powerful ways midlife women can reclaim their time, energy, and joy.
Whether you’re navigating relationships, raising kids, caring for everyone else, or rediscovering yourself, this conversation will give you the permission slip you’ve been waiting for: to live life on your terms.
What you’ll learn in this episode:
- Why saying “no” is the ultimate form of self-care
- How to protect your peace and create drama-free spaces
- Practical ways to care for your body, mind, and spirit after 40
- How to take up space and own your voice without apology
- Why investing in yourself is never wasted time or money
If you’ve ever felt guilty about putting yourself first, this episode will shift your mindset and help you embrace a healthier, more empowered version of you.
👉 Share your “selfish win” with us on Instagram or Facebook by tagging @SpicyMidlifeWomen We can’t wait to celebrate with you!
Are you ready to take your "spiciness" to the next level?!
Connect with Julee & Michele on Instagram @spicy_midlife_women and send a DM about what resonated most during this episode so they can encourage you with steps forward in your own life.
Hey, hey, all you spicy ladies out there. Jules and Michelle, here we are two spicy midlife women sharing our real life stories and having no BS conversations. Ain't that right, jules? That is so right.
Speaker 2:Miss Shelly Belly, that's right. We're here to help all of you midlife women redefine your relationships, ditch toxic cycles and reclaim your power, one episode at a time. So let's get into it, let's dive in. This is a little juicy one. Today. It is. I don't know, juicy maybe isn't the right word, but when you talk about how to be selfish after 40 and why it's necessary, it could be juicy to some people, I suppose.
Speaker 1:I think the thought of that could be intimidating for some, because women tend to get, I want to say, a little bit of a bad rap when it comes to taking the time to do things that from the outside might seem selfish to people, but really. So we're going to be talking today about how to be a little selfish after 40, because that's what it seems like, just what I was saying. It seems like that to people on the outside at times, but really I think it's just taking care of yourself.
Speaker 2:Thank you. Yeah, thank you. It's like we are. Hello, we are kind of in a place and all of you women out there who are in the midst of raising children and everything you know, right now you're probably going. Oh my gosh, I would just kill for a 30-minute nap.
Speaker 1:That's the generational messaging, though right.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Being caretakers, pleasers, nurturers, all of those things to the children and the community, the congregation, the partners, all of those things, yep. So, and that's not a bad thing knocking that at all, but it's important to take time for yourself, and we're going to talk about some of the ways to do that.
Speaker 2:Right, Just a little note. I had coffee with a client today. She's probably I don't know, she's very young looking, but she's probably close to 30, maybe 5, 36. Anyway, she has a two-year-old and she has a girl that's going into sixth grade and we were talking about her schedule today.
Speaker 2:And I'm looking at her going oh my God, how did I do all that? And this? The two-year-old's not sleeping, two-year-old's not eating. Very well, she's up in the middle of the night. She's got. I mean, it's just, I was looking at her, I just had to give her like a big hug going. It's going to get better. You're not going to be tired forever and ever. I swear.
Speaker 1:But we're built differently in our twenties and thirties because we're doing things like that, and even if there's no kids involved, the time and the energy that we're putting into the career at that point is insane. And then all of a sudden, when you're 40, it hits kind of different. There's different energy, there's different needs, and so you got to kind of start prioritizing things a little bit and being self-aware, maybe setting some boundaries, and that's looked at sometimes as being selfish.
Speaker 2:So be it. A lot of that has to do with your upbringing too. It's like we give and give to our families, and the moment you take time away it's an event. You go out to dinner with your girlfriends. You get to do that once every few months, kind of a thing, so, anyway, so we're going to go through four different ways that you can be a little bit more quote unquote selfish. You know at this day and age that you're in and why it's so necessary to do that and some of these things we're preaching to the choir, right?
Speaker 2:You already know, it's just you don't take the time to do it, and that's in a lot of different ways that your needs, not only your physical needs, but also your emotional needs and things of that nature, you know, sometimes go by the wayside because you're dealing with everybody else's. So, number one protect your time like a boss. I love that one Like a boss. Like a boss. So that's about looking at your calendar and not having everybody necessarily determining what your day is going to look like, because it works around their day. For example, what's one thing that you have had the worst time or the hardest time learning to do when you were, say, younger raising kids, trying to do all of this stuff? What was the one thing that you had the most difficulty with Michelle Saying no?
Speaker 1:Yeah Saying no, do you feel like you're kind of a pleaser. I am a people pleaser.
Speaker 2:You're a people, pleaser.
Speaker 1:I'm a Taurus. We tend to be very loyal and do things like that, but also the family culture that I grew up in was very much like that too. So it's again. I feel like I'm saying this again it's not a bad thing, it's not like we're like fuck you everybody and I'm just going to do whatever the F I want.
Speaker 1:It's not like that, I'm going to be selfish, but saying no is hard because we want to serve and care for and do those things. But ultimately I mean no is a full on sentence and no is no. And I honestly can remember when I started to say no it felt really good. But your boundaries, it was hard at first but then when I did it it was like, okay, did you feel? Like you had to explain yourself? The walls didn't come falling down, right, and it was okay. And somebody else did what I said no to and everybody moved on.
Speaker 2:So you didn't feel like you had to explain yourself at all at first.
Speaker 1:Probably in certain situations, yeah, depending on what it was, but I don't do that anymore. No, I don't do that anymore. I'm sure I do occasionally, but if I feel like I just need to say you know what, that's not going to work for me, unfortunately. I'm going to have to say no and I leave it at that. I don't need to give an explanation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you've gotten actually much better. I would say about that. So, in this regard now some of our listeners may completely get this and it will resonate with them. We would say, yes, but you really mean no, and then you feel resentful or you feel like.
Speaker 1:That's worse.
Speaker 2:It's worse. I know it's way worse. I mean, I think I would do that more than anything else. It's like I would try to fit stuff in, or I'd slam my calendar as full as I could possibly make it, and then I'm not in the moment. So saying no is not a bad thing when it comes to protecting your boundaries, if you will, or your health, your decision making, whatever you want to call it. But it's also something to where, if you feel like you can't say no, then you ask yourself why. Is it because you're getting that pressure from somebody that's maybe not very nice of them to give you? Or is it because you feel like you've been shirking your responsibilities to your family lately and so you don't want to let them down? You have to kind of ask yourself why you're having difficulty, I guess, saying no. Or is it just because you don't want to let them down?
Speaker 2:You have to kind of ask yourself why you're having difficulty, I guess saying no, yeah, or is it just because you don't like to say no and you want to try to make everybody happy? I find that I would do that a little bit here and there. Not, I mean, once I start saying no, people would look at me like what's wrong with her. Well, because they're used to the yes, answer Right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like what's going on with her? She must be having a bad day, you know, and that's why you get asked to do things. And I'm just thinking of you know like school things and sports things and church things. And what about the me things?
Speaker 2:right.
Speaker 1:You've got to prioritize your peace, ladies, and it's okay to say no and not feel guilty about it. And it's okay to say no and not feel guilty about it. Yep, what it kind of does, julie, was just, I think, describing what can sometimes seem chaotic, when we tend to say yes, but we didn't want to, but we do, and then everything is just crazy because you're, you know, trying to figure out how you're going to do it, you know you got.
Speaker 2:It's just a lot. It leads to other things like resentment, yeah, or you just try and figure out how you're going to do it. You know you got it's just a lot. It leads to other things like resentment or you, just you kind of can be bitchy. I mean I would find I'd say yes and it's like it's nobody else's fault.
Speaker 2:I'm saying yes even though I wanted to say no because I want to be a good person, but then I ended up being a bitch. So what's the difference? I mean, it's taken me a long time to figure that out, so hopefully people can kind of learn from that in advance, you know.
Speaker 1:And, like I mentioned, prioritizing your piece. As far as that goes, I'm thinking about things like family and friends. You know how sometimes there's really chaotic, dramatic situations in both of those categories friends and family right.
Speaker 2:When you say chaotic, do you mean drama or do you just mean craziness?
Speaker 1:I think both. Okay, I think both and because I know I had plenty of chaotic situations that I was living through. And then when I was married okay, not in a bad way, it's just what it was with the kids and the job and the things going on in our marriage and all this stuff, it would seem a little chaotic. I was living through it, yeah Right. And then fast forward. Now I'm solo and trying to figure all that out. Then there was dramatic things that were surrounding that right, because the situation had then changed and I think everybody has a level of drama and chaos within family and friends circles.
Speaker 2:Things are kind of boring if you don't have any Right.
Speaker 1:But I remember going through something probably five years after I was divorced and I had to deal with this situation, and it brought up drama again to the surface in my life. Though brief, it brought it there and I can remember saying out loud do you know how hard I have worked to live drama free? And it really it kind of struck me and made me realize and kind of reflect on that process right, Because that did bring back peace. Working through and I'm talking, you know, to live drama-free, like blocking phone numbers and things like that, not showing up for certain things, saying no to certain things and it's super important to be able to do that to protect your peace, yeah, yeah, I 100% agree and not feeling bad about it.
Speaker 2:Right, you know, I think that's good for your mental health to being able to do those things Well when you're talking about how you were in a moment where you had some chaos after you'd worked so hard to protect your peace. You know the difference. Yeah, I mean consciously know the difference. Because you're like I have made a conscious effort to do this, and then you see where it's slipping away and you're like, oh hell, no, I like it better the other way.
Speaker 2:So it gives you a little bit more staying power on what your original plan was and what is important to you, yeah, so another way to put yourself first is about how you take care of your body. So I almost said that, like you're in second grade, I mean basically exercise, rest, pleasure on your terms, but you know, kind of stopping the performance wellness for others. Do what makes you feel good, you know, and so some of those things might be kind of not sexy at all but necessary, like getting your regular checkups for example, going for your mammograms, those are taking care of yourself, moments that I know plenty of women that they just kind of don't do it.
Speaker 1:They just don't want to see, they don't want to know they are busy that day and I'm kind of one of those people that I don't do that stuff very often. Regular checkups it was like when I was having kids. It was like, oh, I'm kind of one of those people that I don't do that stuff very often. Yeah, regular checkups, it was like when I was having kids. It was like, oh, I'm pregnant again, I guess I'll go to the doctor. Yeah, nothing really in between. I have, however, in the last couple of years, gotten my regular checkups and things like that, but for me, what has been super important is just every day doing things and putting things in my body that make me feel good. I know the things that don't.
Speaker 2:I had to. You mean, like that vodka soda right in front of you? No, that makes me feel good.
Speaker 1:What are you talking about?
Speaker 2:sans the lime, because we didn't have any.
Speaker 1:But and that's something, too, that I had to figure out for myself- yeah. I knew there was a time where I was not well and it wasn't a thing to where, like, oh, I am not well and I'm super sick and I need to go to the doctor. It wasn't like that. But my knees hurt my, you know. My neck my back.
Speaker 2:I was getting to the up in age where things like that started to become, you know, and you weren't able to exercise because your knees hurt, and so then you're gaining weight. It's this whole thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. And so I mean I'm a thick woman. It's not like I am.
Speaker 2:You've got curves. There's nothing wrong with those curves. I'm a thick woman.
Speaker 1:It's not like.
Speaker 2:I am.
Speaker 1:You've got curves. There's nothing wrong with those curves I'm a curvy, thick woman. But I started trying things, and you know what my intake was not dieting or anything else, but things that definitely made my body feel better. And you know what else. One of those things is super important Sleep.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Oh my gosh, sleep, sleep, yeah, oh my gosh. Well, that's the one thing that I think, as you're in your you know early midlife, that you kind of neglect the hell out of.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh yeah for sure.
Speaker 2:I mean you'd run on five hours of sleep. Four hours of sleep, I mean broken sleep if you have children, really erratic sleep if you're traveling with your job. I mean it's just and your body just tolerates it.
Speaker 1:I did that all the time till like five years ago. Yeah, it's just been in the last five.
Speaker 2:Now I'm kind of like oh yeah, it's time. I'm so different about how I look at it now.
Speaker 1:Julie and I message each other like we live in the same house but we use Marco Polo. I hear that's an old person's app.
Speaker 2:Whatever, we don't care, we like it.
Speaker 1:Great. So I'm downstairs and I'm like, okay, what are we doing tonight? Because I need to be in bed by eight o'clock.
Speaker 2:Well, you do get up at the crack of dawn. Yeah, yeah, I know. But then I'm waking up all night.
Speaker 2:Anyway, that's. It's a side note, but it's definitely noticeable though. But it's huge, huge, huge. And if you guys are not aware of how you're sleeping, it would be some of you guys have those Apple watches that'll give you kind of an overview of your sleep habits at night. I actually downloaded this app and I can pin it, I think, on the episode. But it is pretty mindful I don't have one of those watches and you just put your basic information in and you set your phone next to you on the bed when you're sleeping and when you wake up you turn off the app or whatever, and it has recorded. I was like, yeah, I might have a little sleep apnea.
Speaker 2:Oh wow, you have a sleep score that's zero to 100. Oh I need to do that. I had a sleep score consistently between 43 and 48. I need to do that yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay cool, I like that yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, and it was recording you so I could hit the record button and I'm snoring, or there's a couple of times I'm talking in my sleep, you know. Oh, that's hilarious, I know. So I was like okay, clearly, I mean it really was very kind of made me aware of how bad my sleep was.
Speaker 1:Maybe it was psychological too because then I'm tired, I'll sound well, you know. Throw menopause on top of all this, yeah, right. So, ladies, super important to prioritize your body. Keeping things healthy doesn't mean you can't drink vodka like I am right now, but you know, sleep taking walks one of the gym what we're putting in? Yeah and yeah it. It definitely does make a difference.
Speaker 2:So my little wellness thing that you guys actually got me you and I think got me kind of started on this is like my little face masks or what's that thing called, that metal thing that you use for the I don't know what it's called Wabi or no, I don't know what it's called. It's a metal piece that you use for like to get like fluid out of your lymphatic, lymphatic drainage yet.
Speaker 2:So I'd have that and I do my little face, I do my whole little routine, you know, and it's my little take care of thing that I do and it's all healthy, it's all healthy and it's all good, yeah, okay. So note to self and note to everyone else take care of yourself in whatever way.
Speaker 1:Capital t, yeah, whatever way you feel you know is working for you I guess, yep, and that may be that you just do it, you just leave your house and go driving a car somewhere because everybody's making you crazy listening.
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely good for the mental health there. You could go get a chocolate ice cream cone, just fyi. Or a vodka tonic, or a vodka tonic just somewhere else with nobody else around you. Just saying, one other way to be a little mindful of putting yourself as a priority. You know, at our midlife timeframe is taking up space, starting to really give yourself?
Speaker 1:What does it mean to take up space?
Speaker 2:Think about people that you have run across in the past that they're just kind of observing, which is fine. I mean, observing is okay but they minimize themselves. They minimize their experience, their age, to have other people feel better.
Speaker 1:I used to do that. Yeah, I mean, as far as minimizing things, right, I totally used to do that, probably nine years ago, and I only say that because Rick, my guy, he's kind of the first one that would start asking me questions about myself and that I really had a hard time answering, you know, like philosophical kind of questions, things like what do you like to do for yourself? And I wasn't used to talking about myself and really thinking about the things that I enjoyed or that I like to do. And I remember I mean it was simple, super simple, but I loved laying in bed with the window cracked, I could smell the rain, I could feel the cool air and I really, really enjoyed doing that, like drinking coffee in bed on Saturday morning, but little things like that, but to me I felt like it was only important to me, right?
Speaker 2:And so.
Speaker 1:I really want to share things like that with other people.
Speaker 2:So what do you like to do? I mean, when people ask you that question? You know, you think about. I think about hobbies. I think about things like that I don't think about. I love to sit in bed and listen to the rain, Although I love doing that too on a Saturday morning we're Marco Poling, by the way, when that happens sometimes too. That's a little creepy, but anyway. So the other thing I was mentioning before is like speaking up in rooms that you basically have been shrinking and so you have an opinion.
Speaker 1:Yeah, in a conversation absolutely.
Speaker 2:You know, you're not going to always have the same opinion as everybody else, which is great. It doesn't mean you have to get an argument. It just means that everybody has their own opinion. You're entitled to yours as well, and there are people perhaps in your life that speak louder when they don't agree with you. They start talking louder and louder. I'm talking from experience, actually, and so that tendency is to shut. That shuts people down, you know, because it's kind of like why fight it? So really, kind of picking your battles but having your voice, you know, yeah, and I guess when I think about it, I have really grown to tap into my expertise.
Speaker 1:I never really felt like I had an expertise. There's these things that you minimize Right, and it's so true that word minimize.
Speaker 1:Not just about your bra Top of mind right now? Yeah, because I didn't go to college, right, I was a stay at home mom, I didn't go to college. So then, when I was on my own and working and doing all these things I don't know I really started tapping into my own presence, my intuition and truly, the expertise that I had gained over the years from doing so many really important things, and I have a lot that I can offer and put on the table and that should not be minimized.
Speaker 2:So you think just because and I get what you're saying it's like because you didn't have your degree, you didn't feel like you could have an opinion Exactly. Oh, that's bullshit. I totally understand what you mean, I know.
Speaker 1:but I truly like not that I was uneducated, but I just kind of felt like I was just like doing my deal and doing what I had to and, you know, getting along scrappily that's a word in my life and this is kind of what I always did, but oh yeah, that is not the case. This is kind of what I always did, but, oh yeah, that is not the case. Ladies, if any of you are doubting whether there's value or not having value because you did not go to college and get that degree or get that MBA, whatever it might be, that is not the case.
Speaker 2:Not at all.
Speaker 1:You really got to tap into what you have to offer, what you have brought into this world, what you have shared and gained along the way that you can now share with others. It's a lot.
Speaker 2:You know a lot of it. Kind of getting back to that point you're learning certain things, not just getting a degree in a specific area in college You're learning all kinds of different things about social aspects of life and all that. But there are plenty of other ways that people can gain that experience, like you said, and so you know. The four-year college trajectory and now master's degree on top of that is definitely something that you see, obviously. I've pushed that with my kids.
Speaker 2:But you know what? They're not all set up that way and I was not set up that way either. You know I did okay in school but I would procrastinate. I hated it. I mean, I just I wanted to get out years. Know it. Yeah, you know. And and who cares whether she did or didn't? You know she's got lots of life experience. She's the same age as we are and completely different take on on life and the world, based on where she lived and who raised her and then who?
Speaker 2:she raised all these kinds of things. So every one of us brings a different story, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Is what I'm saying. Take up space unapologetically. Yeah, I love that space.
Speaker 2:I love seeing that with women you know, and I'm not saying you got to get out there and be a know-it-all, that's not what I'm saying at all but having you know, walking into a room and having a presence by the way you stand and the way you carry yourself and being able to integrate into a conversation about whatever doesn't mean you have to have this big, strong opinion, but you can ask questions about things if you're interested.
Speaker 2:So there's a lot of intimidation. I think that, like you said, goes along with that, and if people are not in the corporate world or they're not in that boardroom type of setting, they don't really have the opportunities as much either. So you've got to find ways to have that opportunity, to have that voice, because it becomes even more important as you get older to convey you know your being, your presence when you're in a place. That's just my thought.
Speaker 1:I love that. It feels good too when you do that.
Speaker 2:I thought I love that. It feels good too, yeah, when you do that, I know, and it's nice to be able to impart stuff, whatever it is, to other people that they genuinely find interesting. Not to say that we have all of the answers for things, but it's fun to talk to people about them when they're interested in what you're saying, or vice versa, when you have interest in what they're saying and you know I had learned something.
Speaker 2:Total side note, but it was this podcast I was listening to just about, you know, like communication and all this kind of stuff and it was talking about in social settings, which is kind of what we're talking about here a little bit is going into the conversations, asking questions, like three questions, instead of giving your experience on something Like, if someone says, oh, yeah, I'm going to be starting a new job, instead of saying, oh, I started a new job last week, it's not about you, you know, going just like tell me about your job.
Speaker 2:It's like how long have you? You know, da da, da, da da, and then you can get into what's about you. But it starts this conversation and the other person is actually seeing that you're interested in what?
Speaker 2:they have to say, and it can kind of go from there yeah, I love that, yeah, so anyway, what about investing in yourself? You know I like to do that. Oh, yeah, julie loves to do that. Time, money. I was on my way home tonight. Here's a great example. This is a really good example. Okay, I was on my way from my office and I had about an hour and a half until I had to be home because Michelle and I were going to be meeting and I swung into this place that I really like that's in Mill Creek for a massage. Oh geez, and I didn't even know if they had available.
Speaker 2:My neck has been bothering me so I'm just I go in and I'm just like I'm so doing it, and it's like that's the kind of thing I'm talking about. It's like that was the biggest treat, spontaneous, very, very spontaneous, big treat. My neck feels amazing now and I just took care of myself and why not?
Speaker 1:yeah, and that is investing in yourself. I love that. Yeah, it is not time or money that's wasted, never, never, when you're investing in yourself. Right, never wasted, yeah. And I mean back to the school, like that's not to say know, we're talking about not having college degrees and I didn't go to college and all that kind of stuff, but it doesn't mean that you can't now Right, absolutely Right. So that would be investing in yourself, right? Classes, what you just did, doing a massage going to therapy.
Speaker 2:Doing a massage going to therapy, yeah, therapy's huge Right therapy and look, they've got all these online channels now. I mean, a lot of the therapy is not where you have to go into an office and sit on the couch anymore. Yeah, and for all of you people out there who think that therapy is not worthwhile, it's like maybe you haven't gone before or you had the wrong therapist.
Speaker 1:I mean that's, yeah, typically the case until somebody tries it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I don't know, I haven't been in a while, but I find when I'm kind of struggling with something and Michelle's tired of hearing me, that's a good time, you know, to get out there and ask questions, because we don't always know the answers to some of those things. Yeah, so travel.
Speaker 1:That would be an investment, I think, also in yourself, if there's some where that you want to go, or even like the dance classes that you're doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's an investment in yourself. I was just thinking about that because, like the one thing that I think people feel oh, I've heard people say this I'm too old to start that, I'm too old to be thinking about that. I'm too old, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 2:That makes me crazy when I hear that kind of stuff but yeah, these dance classes it's like it's a great example because it's not taking a ton of my time, it's fun, it's something different and it's kind of expanding my I wouldn't say expanding my social circle, because I wouldn't say that the people that I'm meeting there are people I probably would hang out with. They're super nice and just you know we're in different worlds, but it's expanding my experience in lots of different things and really helps me go. Do I love it or do I not love it?
Speaker 2:if I don't love it, I'll move on to something else. But I wouldn't know unless I tried yeah, yeah, I do like that.
Speaker 1:You pointed out that it's too late to start or to try something new. Yeah, never, it's never too late, never never, too late. I mean, I just did a garden for the first time this year, I know you just brought in your tomatoes. It's never too late.
Speaker 2:Yeah, her little tomatoes, her little dwarfy little tomato. I don't know what the heck she's going to make something out of it. I don't know what I will. So anyway, kind of in closing, just really wanted to recap being selfish after 40 isn't really the big S word. It is really more about being intentional and honoring yourself and giving yourself permission to do that, and now you're kind of at a place where you can live for yourself as opposed to living for everybody else around you.
Speaker 1:Well, and regardless of your circumstances, you have to take the time to live for yourself, even when you are surrounded. Maybe you're living in a household with a lot of people and you're in the mix and there's a lot of things that you're doing. But taking that time, protecting your peace, prioritizing your health all of those things are going to help with the mental and physical aspect of how to be selfish and really it is really just how to take care of yourself, dive into self-care and it's not a selfish thing.
Speaker 2:No, I think we struggle with the fact that we have expectations placed upon us by the people that are in our lives, and when we do things that are different than what they expect, we get pushed back. And when you get pushed back, then you kind of question yourself as to whether, well, maybe it's not that important, maybe it's more important that I do blah, blah, blah. Yeah, and only you can make that decision.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, but anyway, what's?
Speaker 2:something that you can do this week, michelle, that would be, I don't know, a little selfish, a little self-carish. A I don't know. A little selfish, a little self-carish.
Speaker 1:A little self-carish would be sleeping in, okay, but I'm actually going to. I'm intentionally trying to take more time. I have a sweat tent. Yeah, gee, right.
Speaker 2:We're going there tonight.
Speaker 1:It's like a sauna thing. It's got a wood stove and you go in there and it's in nature and I love it. So, trying to spend more alone time and just doing that and sleeping in on Saturday and drinking coffee in bed it's taking the time to do those little things before you dive into other life things Right, because life gets lifey real quick and being able to pause, yeah, yeah, so that's what I'm going to do. Good, yeah, I like that. Well, I just did it today.
Speaker 2:I went and had my massage oh yeah, you went and had your massage.
Speaker 1:So I guess that's our ask for all you spicy midlife women out there is to do something this week. That might seem a little crazy and selfish.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then what we would love for you to do is share your selfish win on our socials.
Speaker 1:So go to.
Speaker 2:Instagram Facebook tag at Spicy Midlife Women and let us know what you did. Yeah, and it better be good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we want to hear about it. Yeah, because we want to check it out.
Speaker 2:Keep it rated PG-13. Just kidding, no, I'm just kidding, yeah.
Speaker 1:Whatever it is. Yeah, I mean, maybe you pull that toy out. It has been a while, has it Michelle? Well, I'm just saying that could be something selfish that they're doing for themselves.
Speaker 2:That's very selfless.
Speaker 1:Anyway.
Speaker 2:Okay, until next week, stay spicy. Have a good one everybody. Bye.