Spicy Midlife Women: Real Talk, Raw Truth, and Bold Moves for Women Over 40
Spicy Midlife Women is the ultimate podcast for women over 40 who are rewriting the rules of midlife, breaking free from relationship drama, and leaving toxic patterns behind.
It’s all about embracing authenticity, building meaningful connections, and living unapologetically through candid conversations, hard-earned wisdom, and raw truth.
Hosted by Jules and Michele, two midlife women with real stories and no-BS advice, the Spicy MidLife Women Podcast will guide you in redefining relationships, breaking free from what's holding you back, and reclaiming your power—one episode at a time!
Prepare to get clear on what you really want in your relationships—whether it’s romance, family, or friendships, let go of past baggage and open yourself up to the possibility of fresh, exciting connections.
You’ll also gain the wisdom and confidence to approach dating and relationships with confidence and zero judgment, and feel empowered to ditch outdated expectations, creating a life that truly feels good on your own terms.
Plus, find a supportive sisterhood along the way—because you don’t have to do this alone!
Spicy Midlife Women: Real Talk, Raw Truth, and Bold Moves for Women Over 40
18. Why Dressing Up in Midlife is a Radical Act
Jules and Michele are serving up some serious #SpicyStyle in this confidence-boosting conversation about fashion, self-expression, and ditching age-based “rules.”
From bold red lipstick to leather pants, they share real stories of rocking whatever makes them feel alive and why you should too.
You’ll hear:
- Why midlife is the time to break free from society’s “tone it down” expectations
- How clothes, makeup, and accessories can be a powerful form of self-expression and empowerment
- Practical tips for experimenting with new looks (from cutoffs to couture) without guilt or apology
This episode is your reminder that style has no expiration date. Put on something that makes you feel confident, snap a pic, and tag @SpicyMidlifeWomen with #SpicyStyleOver40 to join the movement. Stay bold. Stay unapologetic. Stay spicy.
Are you ready to take your "spiciness" to the next level?!
Connect with Julee & Michele on Instagram @spicy_midlife_women and send a DM about what resonated most during this episode so they can encourage you with steps forward in your own life.
Hey, hey everybody. Jules and Michelle, here we're your two spicy midlife women sharing our real life stories and having no BS conversations. Right, jules? You know what?
Speaker 2:Michelle, you are so right. We're here to help all you midlife women redefine your relationships, ditch those toxic ass cycles and reclaim your power, one episode at a time. And so we are going to get into it right now with a lovely topic.
Speaker 1:Lovely topic, lovely.
Speaker 2:That's my way of saying I like this topic.
Speaker 1:Well, there seems to be a bit of controversy that can surround Did you just say controversy? I did Controversial. That's a combination between controversial and controversy. That's a Michelle word. Between controversial and controversy. That's a Michelle word, so I just was going to go with it.
Speaker 1:But it can be a controversial topic and it's all about the way women dress and present themselves in midlife, whether it be, you know, you're in your 40s, your 50s, your 60s. There seems to be a stereotypical way sometimes not all the time, but sometimes that people think women that age should look. Right yeah, that was a stereotypical comment, huh? Women that age lump us all into one group, that invisible group.
Speaker 2:Well, I laugh about this a little bit, because yesterday this is just an example but someone was telling me about how they wanted their hair to be long. You know, like my hair is long there I'm noticing my hair. I just got it done, so it's actually really cute right now. But you know, women our age don't wear our hair long. And I'm looking at her going dude, we're like the same. It's the same, and I was like you, wear your hair, however, the hell you want to wear your hair.
Speaker 1:A guy at work keeps asking me that when are you going to cut your hair, michelle? Really, I was like what are you talking about? He's like, once you get to a certain age, you got to cut it shorter and let it go. Just let it go, gray. And I'm just like, okay, that is not true. Who are you? Who are you? And?
Speaker 2:I'm just going to do my hair the way I like doing my hair, which is as you see it. Well, what I found kind of interesting about this was that there was actually two ladies. They were sisters and their mom was the one that had been pushing that narrative with them both yeah, and the one in particular.
Speaker 2:This girl has legs that go on for days, I mean this woman has the most beautiful legs and I'm just like girl, you need to wear those shorts more often. She's wearing these little shorts with these cute heels, very cute outfit for this thing. We went to on friday and she was saying, yeah, my mom's thinking I, her hair is, like you know, mid, like past your shoulders blonde and I'm sure she colors it. I mean, I don't know, maybe she doesn't, but she probably does at least a little bit. But I was just like you, wear your hair as long as you want. Yeah, I mean, it's like she's telling you not to wear this outfit too, isn't it interesting?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's so interesting and this is where one of the places I think, as far as topics go, that Julie and I are really aligned in. We our topics, that's why we're Spicy Midlife Women, but truly we definitely challenge those outdated narratives about aging and appearance and I think sometimes when you do that and you have the confidence to do it, you inspire other women that are in the same age range as us to do the same.
Speaker 2:It does take, I think, a little bit of confidence that you can see. You know how you're appearing, maybe different than others and honestly, like Michelle's probably a really great example of this, because this girl wears just about anything. There is not a lot that is off limits right, which I think is amazing, because she completely pulls it off, and I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that she's super confident with whatever she wears.
Speaker 2:And so that is the message here today is kind of challenging some of those outdated narratives that we have about aging and appearance and, you know, inspiring all of you guys to reclaim the style that you had, or developing a new style, or getting into something that you're really interested in wearing, or trying whether it's, you know, makeup or fragrances, or clothing or whatever you know. Give yourself the opportunity to do that and don't say I can't do that now, because of my age, that's just bullshit.
Speaker 1:For me it's a way of self-expression and it's really a form of empowerment if you think about it and it works like that for me, and I think I had somebody tell me once she gave me this outfit and she was like I just can't pull it off. But I knew if anybody could pull it off, you could pull it off, michelle, and I loved it. It's not with everything right, I, we're not showing tits and pits all the time and you know, just putting our junk out to the world. That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about classy, being stylish, about it really going with what you feel and how it expresses who you are, and putting it on your body and wearing it. Yeah, it's really a great tool, I think, and for people that will question you.
Speaker 2:You know like I've worn things that were different, new, you know hairstyles, whatever, and I can think of a couple people in my life that will give me shit about it and they're super conservative, love them to death, but super conservative and would never in a million years do anything like that. So I don't know, maybe they're living vicariously through me. I'm certainly a lot more tame than Michelle, I would say, in a lot of ways but, like last night, here's my great example.
Speaker 2:I was going to a concert and it was kind of like bluesy country. Wasn't quite sure what to wear, but I knew that I didn't want to just like put on a pair of jeans kind of a thing. So I put on a pair of cutoffs and these suede boots that I got cowboy boots that I got for going to Austin last year that I didn't wear because it was too hot, and a tank top. And I went down to Michelle's place and I was like I need a jacket or I need something to go over this, and she gave me this super sweet looking camo jacket. It was the cutest outfit ever.
Speaker 1:Well, it was pretty perfect for a country venue. It had a flag on it, there were some things, it was just fun and it just went perfect with the fit it was great we might have to do.
Speaker 2:we might do a little bit of our socials.
Speaker 1:I'm going to show my cute outfit. Yeah, I think that's a great idea.
Speaker 2:I did put a little bit of no lie, put a little bit of tan stuff on my legs, though, because they were feeling a little pan and I felt better with a little bit more of a tan, you know. But anyway, to my point, or to everyone's point. Here is like the point is, I guess, that I'm trying to make.
Speaker 1:Well, I think I keep saying at our age and you know, just a little reminder here, we're midlife women, who really is age 40 and up, I think, is what we like to put that category in and I think at our age, society expects women to tone it down and really kind of disappear in a way at that age and really I think it's a time to be rediscovering yourself and what it is about that. But yeah, mainstream culture tends to just like tone us down, make us disappear, desexualize us in every way we can, because we're these getting on in years mothers, most of us, not everybody but there's a stigma around being too much at that age and I think it's bullshit.
Speaker 2:Well, even I mean, when you're talking about early midlife, like in your 40s, it's like you hear the same thing. You know you have school drop off appropriate outfits totally fine, yeah, mom approved, if you will Outfits.
Speaker 2:Mom approved Bathing suits, things like that, which makes sense because you're around kids and you're. It's a different environment, you know. But you're probably in a place I know. When I was in my 40s I had like, well, until I got probably a little bit later into my 40s little zero sense of style. Really, I wore a lot of black.
Speaker 1:I worked at Nordstrom. I wore a lot of black.
Speaker 2:I wore heels with that. That was my style, I suppose, but I didn't deviate from that too much. And I remember having lost a ton of weight after my youngest was born and I had gone to a stylist and I was like I wanted a new wardrobe basically because nothing fit anymore. And I remember this gal. She was like oh my God, you look like a sex kitten. I remember her saying that for some reason probably because I got something that had tiger- print or something on it.
Speaker 2:You know, but this whole thing was a complete transformation in what my wardrobe had been, from being pregnant, you know, all that kind of stuff to you know, being a woman who is now going back into the workplace with purpose. And I tell you what I walked into meetings. I walked into different things and I felt different. I walked a lot taller because I just felt super confident in the clothes I was wearing. I had leather pants, I had, like beautiful silk. I was just, I was having a ball with it.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:So that's my version, having worked in the corporate world. But your version might be that you're a stay home or you work from home mom, and so your version is a little bit more dialed down, a little more casual different.
Speaker 1:But to your point, I think there's all those different time appropriate things. It's just like my grandma jammies. I mean, I wear different jammies. When my grandkids are spending the night I wear my grandma jammies than when I have my boyfriend spend the night, right, obviously.
Speaker 2:It's the same. You don't wear pajamas, oh sorry.
Speaker 1:It's the same in social settings you know, know your audience, know what you're doing and just there's so many things that you can mix and match and really show up confidently in and that visibility gives you power and it makes a statement kind of like here I am, I'm still here. When you can walk in a room and you hear things that are being unsaid, that's when you know you're making a statement. Yeah, like the bold red lip.
Speaker 2:You could put the bold red lip on and literally it is about walking kind of into a room. On another note, I have run across where there are if you look at just the different retailers and such that are out there, there are, if you look at just the different retailers and such that are out there. You've got variations on styles, like, for example, I was just mentioning how I put on some cutoffs. Well, there's a lot of versions of cutoffs, right, there's. Daisy Duke cutoffs there's Bermuda cutoffs, there's all kinds.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to wear a pair of cutoffs. That shows my ass. I'm just that's not. A that would never be something I would do, but B I just don't think that would be classy. So I wouldn't do it Right now. If I was 18, 17 years old, it might be a different story. Yes, so that's kind of an example of what I'm talking about. There's variations of styles that can be, you know, modified to your comfort level or to your occasion or, you know, to whatever your environment is.
Speaker 1:See, because it's a good point. And to Jewel's point, a lot of you out there are probably going I would never wear cutoffs, and that's me. I wouldn't wear cutoffs, but that's just me. I have a different way of expressing myself, so it's really important to kind of get to know what that is with you and how you want to be heard by making the statement in that way, with your fashion and with what you're wearing, because you do not have to disappear, you do not have to be quiet right now, at this time in life, it is a perfect opportunity for me. If your kids are grown like mine, I don't have to worry about embarrassing anybody anymore. Right and being appropriate. Of course you know there are times they make you feel like, oh my gosh, mom, I can't believe you're doing that, whatever. But you're at that point now where you can say whatever.
Speaker 2:Well, they're looking at you like their mom. Yeah, you know, they're not looking at you like a woman that is has feelings and a life and opinions. They're not looking at it that way. Yeah, they're looking at you. We want you to just be the mom who made me like sandwiches and hot dogs. Right, they don't want you to like have you know, have my lunch, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:They don't even want to know about a lot of that shit, so I don't know. So what do you think? Some of the blocks internal blocks and external judgments are real talk that get in our way for this topic.
Speaker 1:I think there's guilt that comes into play with especially some of the things that are going on in midlife. When you take money to invest in yourself, I think that's where the guilt might come in. And when you've got a child in college or things that you're trying to do financially in that way, sometimes you might feel guilty about investing time and money in yourself, whether it's I used to call it my body account. If I'm yep, I tan, if I tan, if I'm doing my nails, if I'm doing my hair, that's my body account, or you know. Then there's those fashion things. I'm that one that will stop by a store and cruise in just to check out earrings and shoes, just to see what's there, because you never know.
Speaker 2:What you're going to run into and I might do it every two weeks.
Speaker 1:She comes home with a different pair of earrings just doing those things and being able to not feel guilty about it. But to your point. I think that some of the blocks, the judgment that comes into play when you invest in yourself around that midlife time frame and not wanting to stand out too much so you hesitate.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, honestly, it's like like I mentioned about that couple before. I know, when I wear something different or my hair fix different or whatever, I know that it's going to get a comment. I know it and I kind of am like I just whatever you know, it's like or somebody might say who you're trying to impress.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that kind of thing, which to me, is a little bit insulting, it is to impress. Yeah, that kind of thing which to me, is a little bit insulting, it is yeah, like my own damn self.
Speaker 2:Yeah, not you. You're not the person I'm thinking about.
Speaker 1:When I got dressed today, the person asking that question is is like yeah, it's kind of like reframing how you think about it.
Speaker 2:It's like, if we look at ourselves as being worthy or worthwhile of investing the time, investing the energy in things that bring us joy, you know whether it be a new ring that you want to wear or a new little skirt or you've got a pair of flats, or, like last week, this girl that I know she's darling, she always dresses great and I was like I need that dress.
Speaker 2:She was wearing this darling darling dress and I was like I need that dress. She was wearing this darling darling dress and she was like Amazon, yeah, amazon, find you know, and I'm like send me the link. And I bought the dress and I was so excited to get it in the mail so I could wear it. Yeah, and I wear my little cute Gucci slides with it. I was feeling on top of the world that day. Now, this was not a racy outfit and it wasn't certainly something that people would go. Why are you wearing that? Right, but it made me feel good, yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, and it wasn't a huge expenditure. It's so important to do those things and just experiment with some of that stuff. Yeah, I have a kind of an opposite story and some of you women might relate to this, because I do the same thing. Oh my gosh, that's so cute. Where did you get it? Nine times out of 10 is from Amazon. Sounds like the same stories, julie. But I get the dress and I put it on and I was like, oh my goodness, what the heck were you thinking, michelle? This looks terrible, but it's so easy to return. It really is. And you're just like okay on to the next.
Speaker 2:I know I see the influencers and I'm like, okay, you're a size two and you're five nine. I don't think this is going to look the same on me they do make it look so cute.
Speaker 1:She's cute, she's comfortable. If you're this size, get this size. If you're this size, you know they show all the versatility and I'm like, yes, I've done that like three times this summer Really, and I bought it and then I get it and I was just like, oh my gosh, you need to stop it. But hence to my point. You got to experiment a little bit and something that you might think would look good and you get it, and it doesn't. It doesn't feel right. It's okay, just send it back. Just send it back. But having that intention around what you're doing and a good closet clean out, can we just talk about that for a second Cause?
Speaker 1:I just did that and I got rid of all the clothes that are just kind of meh.
Speaker 2:How many bags of clothes did you get rid of? Two and a half. That's all Black garbage bags full. That's not that many. Two and a half For your closet.
Speaker 1:Are you kidding me? Two and a half and shoes. There were shoes. I got rid of jewelry. I got rid of shoes, jewelry and clothes.
Speaker 2:You has literally like five times more clothes than I do.
Speaker 1:And so I cleaned it out and it does feel good. I know there's going to be a time or two where I'm going to go. Where is that? I know I, and then I'll just have to remind myself.
Speaker 1:You probably got rid of it and that's okay. But it does feel really good too when you're intentional about that, being intentional about your shopping, being intentional with cleaning stuff out, ditching the clothes that don't feel like when you look at it and you're just like whatever, yes, I could live without it. Just get rid of it. If you don't wear it, if you haven't worn it in six months, get rid of it. See, I'm kind of like I wore something that I like those boots.
Speaker 2:I never worn them. I'd had them in my closet for a year. I knew there would be an occasion at at some point.
Speaker 1:Well, it's a cowboy boot. Yeah, that's pretty specific.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, but there's other things where, like, I had one pair of sandals Great, I love these sandals and they're brown but you know, my little lovely dog chewed one of the straps and so I went to go get the sandals repaired and it was going to cost almost as much as my sandals did.
Speaker 1:So did you get rid of the dog? I got rid of the sandals. Just joking.
Speaker 2:No, no you're not, because if it wasn't that pair of sandals, there's been a couple other pairs but not recently, I mean he's kind of growing out of that stage, thank god, otherwise it was like back to the pound. Just kidding, I would never do that.
Speaker 1:I would never do that but just do little things, you know. Just try something different that maybe is kind of stepping outside of the box for you, and maybe it's a pair of earrings or, to Julie's point, a red lipstick or a type of boot, something like that. Just try something that you think about, that you would like to really do, but you're afraid to do it because you don't think it's age appropriate and people might judge you for it. That's when you know you should do it.
Speaker 2:That's when you know you need to do it, exactly, exactly. So let's talk about what we would love our listeners to try this week, maybe going forward, I know just like I was just talking about.
Speaker 1:So this week or for the next week, try wearing something that makes you feel powerful, that makes you feel being seen and might just be on the borderline of a sm that you have on underneath your clothes just like we talked about a couple weeks ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah, get that really pretty, thong, and you're rocking it.
Speaker 2:Nobody else needs to know what you're wearing, but it's like put it under that outfit and you're just going to walk a little taller. I think you know Rebellious fashion, yeah. So what are some of the things people can do? So we talked about red lipstick. We have a friend, a very dear friend, who is like, well, she has like the perfect makeup on all the time, even when she goes to the gym, and that girl can wear the perfect red lip and it never bleeds, it never fades. I don't know what she does, like she doesn't drink anything, she doesn't eat anything or something, because it always looks perfect signature feature.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and she can wear any color and it looks really good on her. So, anyway, if you're going to wear a bright red lip, then make sure you get the liner so it doesn't bleed. Okay, I'm just telling you that because I still haven't figured it out. I want a picture, though.
Speaker 1:Take a picture of yourself and send it to us in our DMs on Instagram. I would love to see you rocking a lip, or if it's some type of power piece that you're going to choose, whether it's the earrings or a jacket, or a funky boot, or something that makes you feel alive and seen Put it on and take a picture and send it to us, because we would love to see that. And if we have permission to post let us know Permission to post We'll post it. We're going to share it, but only if you want us to. If you don't, we won't, but we would love to see it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but only if you want us to. If you don't, we won't, but we would love to see it. Yeah for sure. And if you're going to do something like that, then maybe hashtag spicy style over 40 or spicy midlife style.
Speaker 2:So you know, it's searchable and everything too so and you guys, if you run across the voice in the back of your head that's saying that's too flashy, it looks too young, it might be too much, stop and ask yourself why the hell are you feeling that way? Is it because you don't have the confidence to wear something that you have been dying to wear? Or is it something where you're just going to like say you know what? I'm going to give it a shot and see what happens.
Speaker 1:We're not doing this for everybody else's approval. It's for alignment within yourself with what brings you to feeling confident, empowered, doing the things that you think about that you're afraid to try. We're challenging you to do it and we would love to see it. Love, love, love, love. Yeah, because it can never be. You are not too much, you are not too flashy, you are not too any of those things.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, keep it sexy, keep it sexy but it's done, keep it sexy this time anyway. Oh so that sums up this episode.
Speaker 1:I mean think about some of the stylish icons, though over the last, you know, like 100 years.
Speaker 1:Oh, there's been so many, I mean there's been, so it just like on through the decades, because Coco Chanel was one, jackie O was one, madonna, really, she was an icon in her own right. So there's all of these things, and I think I guess I just think about that because I take bits and pieces of all of those looks, yeah, and kind of throw it together into one type of vibe, and that is kind of me. I love the 60s, I bring that into play, I love the 70s, I bring that into play. So it's really I guess I say that to say it's just like it's open.
Speaker 2:There aren't any real rules, there's no rules. And there's the whole thing about mixing patterns too. It's like you know, if you're going to mix patterns, then mix instead of having both top and bottom and stripe. Have one in a paisley, have another in a stripe, you can do whatever the hell you want. You just have to kind of think it through and be purposeful with it. Yeah, so it makes sense.
Speaker 1:You know when you're putting it together and you're confident when you're wearing it and listen to your gut, mm-hmm, truly, because sometimes when I'll put stuff on and I'm like, oh, I cause in my mind I really thought that I wanted to rock it, and then I put it on and I'm like, if you're just not sure a hundred percent, then just like, try something else. But really be intuitive and intentional and love yourself, yep, yep. So on that note, yeah, go check us out on all the socials, if you would. Just like we opened up with. We have been noticing all the downloads, we love the listeners we're getting. It's really growing into a community and we're so excited about that. We love our midlife, we love being spicy midlife women and we love sharing it with you. So go check us out on Instagram, facebook, all the socials. We are there and, like I said, if you decide to step out and do something bold, take a picture of yourself and send it to us at Spicy Midlife Women on Instagram and our DMs.
Speaker 2:Yep, all right, and until next time, until next week, until always, till always.
Speaker 1:Stay spicy. Bye, ladies, bye.