56. Cougars & Cubs: Why Confident Midlife Women Are Dating Younger Men

#CougarsAndCubs #MidlifeWomen #DatingYoungerMen #CougarTrend

Cougars & Cubs: Why Confident Midlife Women Are Dating Younger Men 

Are age-gap relationships the new normal? In this spicy episode, we’re diving deep into why more confident midlife women are happily dating younger men and why younger men can’t get enough of them! From cougar confidence and zero drama to breaking double standards, we’re talking real talk with zero judgment.

What You’ll Learn:

Why younger men are obsessed with midlife women’s confidence & emotional maturity
The real reasons behind the exploding “Cougar & Cub” trend in 2026
How to handle family opinions, different life stages & double standards
The surprising benefits both sides actually enjoy (less drama, more fun!)
When age-gap relationships work… and when they don’t
Real stories and honest opinions about cougars, cubs & midlife dating

Timestamps:
00:00 - Intro: Cougars, Cubs & Confidence
01:50 - Why this trend is blowing up now
03:45 - What younger men really find attractive in older women
06:10 - Would you date someone 10+ years younger?
08:30 - Challenges of age-gap relationships
11:20 - Double standards & public opinion
15:40 - Real talk: Sex, confidence & midlife groove
18:50 - Final advice: Do what makes you happy!

If you’re a midlife woman curious about dating younger, or just love real conversations about modern relationships this episode is for you!
Listen now on YouTube, Spotify & Apple Podcasts 👇

#CougarsAndCubs #MidlifeWomen #DatingYoungerMen #CougarTrend #SpicyMidlife #AgeGapRelationships #MidlifeConfidence #WomenOver40 #PodcastForWomen #RelationshipAdvice

Are you ready to take your "spiciness" to the next level?! 

Connect with Julee & Michele on Instagram @spicy_midlife_women and DM the word "spicy" to get more info about the online 1:1 coaching program called Step into Spicy Confidence - 

See the links below👇 

Step Into Spicy Confidence 1:1 Coaching Application/Waitlist Form

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Transcript

Spicy Confidence Coaching Announcement

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey all you midlife women out there, are you ready to step into spicy confidence? If the answer is yes, then we have some exciting news to share. We are launching a one-on-one coaching program for midlife women who want to start showing up as the most confident version of themselves and who aren't afraid to go after what they really want.

SPEAKER_02 0:18

This coaching program will help you discover your voice, embrace your desires, and develop your inner confidence so that you can truly live the authentic life you want without holding back.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

There are only three spots available, ladies, so head to the link in the show notes and apply now.

Why Older Women Date Younger Men

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Now let's get into the episode.

SPEAKER_02 0:37

We're gonna get right into this episode, Julie, because we we were sitting here, audience, and we were just chatting about this topic. And what it is we're talking about today is essentially why older women are dating younger men, and it's becoming more and more common these days. And just what's some what are some of those reasons as to why that might be? Um, because it used to be like shocking.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

I know well it's still I still think it's a little shocking.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

But what's even what's just baffles me is that this has been happening with men over the course of centuries, where they're paired with women that are younger, they're seeing women that are younger, or they're in their sixties or whatever, and they're seeing women that are in their 20s or 30s. Everybody just kind of assumes that it's because they have money. And I would say the bulk of the time in those situations, they might. I I don't know. And that's what draws the women to them. And these are some, these are like some hot women too. It's not even like on the outside, they are they are very put together on the outside. Who knows what's going on on the inside? And maybe these are just situations where they're situationships, you know. Maybe it's just what it is. Is that allowed? Hell yeah, it's allowed. It's 100% allowed, you know, if you if you're a if you're a single person now, or in an open relationship, you know. I I go back to saying that because there's no judgment there. There's a lot of people out there that are in poly relationships. I personally don't think I could personally do that, but that doesn't mean that a lot of people out there aren't, you know, and I respect their decisions. It is what it is. Going back to the cougar thing, the cougar thing, the MILF thing, whatever you want to call it.

SPEAKER_02 2:17

It seems mothers.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

I like to fuck. You know, there's a guilt. You didn't know what MILF is. Oh, you know, Michelle, what a GILF is? Grandmas. Grandmas, you like to Okay, because grandmas nowadays really, I mean, Michelle's a grandma, she's a great example of this. It's like Michelle's kind of a hot, hot older woman, you know? Yeah, yeah. She's pretty, she's pretty charming and everything.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

Well, is that women in midlife now have more confidence than what they used to. The society expectations, I think, are less of a concern. Now, dating apps, I think, have what made the age gap, you know.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

Well, you're just put in front of people that are that are whatever age, I guess, you want. And what I mean, you can look at it from a couple of different perspectives. It's like younger men that are dating older women. First of all, there's there's a couple of different scenarios, I guess, with this. I personally feel that the bulk of these people that I've run across, a few of them, not even gonna lie, they are kind of old souls, you know, where they don't necessarily vibe as much with the people that are in their own generation. Or what I've heard a lot of from men that are like in their 40s and stuff, is that the women that they're dating, it's like, first of all, they all want to have kids if they're younger, right? And we don't want to have kids anymore. We're done. Yeah, we're done. There's a lot of drama uh that can be kind of associated with that, which there's not as much drama when you're dating someone who's older. And I think the other thing that I've run across too is that we know what the hell we want. And this is speaking very generally, obviously, because there's a lot of women in midlife who don't know what the hell they want, don't even know what their attraction level is, have never even talked to a younger guy, but they definitely have younger guys that are hitting them up. You know, I mean, I've run across that on, you know, when we've been on TikTok or there's questions or things that have come up, and there's a lot of women that are out there that are new into the dating thing that are just going, holy shit, what's going on here? It's like I'm getting hit up by these 35-year-olds.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

I think that younger men now find the confidence, the independence, and the emotional maturity of older women really quite attractive.

SPEAKER_01 4:26

Yeah. I mean, why why wouldn't they? Well, and they're they're definitely and there's the one, there was some funny TikTok thing that I saw. There's a guy that's on TikTok, he's a younger guy, and he is he is so into older women. It's hilarious. He's hilarious. So, you know, he's probably probably seen him on there. And one of the things he likes the older women. He likes older women. Yeah, yeah. He's almost like a country boy or something. He's got like, yeah. Anyway, no, I mean, not like the best looking guy in the whole world, but he is he's he's got charisma, you know, so he's kind of fun to watch. But one of the jokes that he has on one of his posts is that, you know, he's leaving the cougar's house and has spent overnight or whatever, and she's packing him lunch in the cottage cheese container. Maybe she's writing a note and putting it up putting a little note in his lunch, saying, have a good day, you know, kind of a thing.

SPEAKER_02 5:12

Well, think about it though, too. Like there's well, like, I don't think people talk about the fact that there's there's a different energy and enthusiasm for life too. I'm now I'm talking about the perspective of a younger guy. Would you date a guy that's 10 years younger than you? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 5:27

Yeah, yeah. Would not even think about it. Honestly, I I have. And I it's like I don't even think about their age difference, you know. The other a couple of examples that I I've run across are definitely younger than that. There's other people that I've run across that I've spent time with that are younger than that, and I don't even think about it, you know, because we get along, we have fun. It's not like I, you know, I I even really think about it. And I I believe those people are what I would call, you know, kind of an old soul, you know, that they they don't even think about it either. And it's not even about sex, you know, it's not always it is sometimes, don't get me wrong, it is, but not all the time. She says so confidently. I mean, let's just be honest. I mean, sometimes you just want to hit it and move on, right? So okay, my kids are not listening to this episode.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

So, I mean, what I what I was saying just a minute ago, though, when it comes to the younger men, some of those things like that I'm sure older women find attractive about the younger men. We're talking, we've been talking about what's attractive to the younger men about the older women, but you know, switch that around. Um, you know, the the younger men less less baggage probably, you know, from you know, long marriages or divorces, so that is gonna be less. And they're probably less traditional about gender roles, right? The traditional gender roles. So that can be intriguing exciting. Um, and many younger men I think are comfortable having conversations, yeah. Like emotional conversations and discussing things.

SPEAKER_01 7:05

Well, and that's where it comes with dating someone their own age who uses the word like every other sentence is probably not. I mean, it's like it's how how much in depth are you really getting, you know, with some of these women? It's like and the and bless their hearts, right? You'd think I was from the south. But they it's like they're really concerned about their appearance in a different way. So we're generalizing, obviously.

Age Gap Challenges And Boundaries

SPEAKER_01 7:28

But then there's the challenges that come with an age gap.

SPEAKER_02 7:31

There there are challenges that too. The you're in different life stages.

SPEAKER_01 7:35

Yes, that's very true. You can be. Right. So it's so that's where it you kind of it depends, you know, what it is you're after. Well, and you family and friends are gonna have opinions, aren't they, Julie? But why do they care? You can tell this has happened to me, right? Yeah. Well, yeah. My my daughter has opinions about things.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

Two long-term goals are gonna be aligned, and and this is gonna completely depend on the people, right? So keep in mind it no judging here, these are generalities that we're speaking about in relationship to the the age gaps. But so so high level, these things do come into play. Yes. Family and friends are gonna have opinions if if this is going on.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

But a lot has to do with the so this is I do struggle with this a little bit because it's their their boundaries, you know. So this is where you have to kind of make a decision for yourself about what works for you and really and really stick to that with conviction because you're the one making those decisions and your children are not, your families are not the ones that are living your life. And so if someone makes you happy or that you enjoy spending time with, it would be really sad that you didn't do that because people in your life didn't approve.

SPEAKER_02 8:47

Right.

SPEAKER_01 8:48

Don't you think?

SPEAKER_02 8:48

Yes, that is true. Yeah, but I understand family and friends will share their concerns.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

Because they're looking at it from an outside perspective. Yeah. So I I I totally get that. Yeah. Totally get that. But and I think that's we recognize that that's where that comes from. But absolutely, you know, if you're having a good time and you know, you're vibing with somebody, and I I have a a close family member who just recently got married, she's 44 and he's 32. Like, go on with your bad self. Yeah, like they couldn't be happier, and I'm I'm so happy for them. So it it works. I get it, it works. So, but but high level back to what we were talking about, different life stages, um, family and friends having opinions. That's a thing. Goals might not align depending on you know where you're at personally.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

Well, and I and financial goals, financial positions may not align either, depending upon where you're at in life, if you've established a career or you've got and you're with and so some of these things really, if you really, if you like fall in love with somebody or whatever, supposedly should not matter. But they do, they do matter because you have to be prepared, especially as the person who's the older, more mature person in the relationship, to pick up maybe potentially the bulk or or a bigger portion of the finances if you're together. And they might not know what a cassette tape is, yeah, or any reference to Pink Floyd the Wall, or you know, yeah, wrap around pants, you know, or anything, or you know, her You can't touch this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:20

Talking about.

SPEAKER_01 10:21

But at the same time, you can teach them those things. And then they also have references to things that you don't have a clue about either.

SPEAKER_02 10:30

Crazy though. I mean, when you think about it, because some younger men, what when you're dealing with women that are in midlife in our age, if you're going for somebody 10, 15 years younger, they might not know life before a smartphone. Yeah. Oh my god, that's so true. That is so true. You know what MTV really used to be and and what that is. And yeah. And if your favorite song is classic wrong, you might not understand that term.

SPEAKER_01 10:54

No. You know, there there are things. Luckily, we like a lot of the 90s

Shared Fun And Midlife Social Life

SPEAKER_01 10:59

hits. Michelle and I went to this uh event this past weekend where it was an RB event. We had so much fun.

SPEAKER_02 11:06

It was a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

And it was quite the varying age group, I would say.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:09

Yeah, the all the way from whatever young person was there to people that were closer to our age and stuff. And we had a great time, and nobody cares. Nobody cares. They're all just there to have a great time. Yeah. And it was good. Yeah, it was a good time.

SPEAKER_02 11:23

You cannot beat classic RB.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

No.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

I had so many, because I put stuff on my uh my personal Instagram stories, and I had more than a few people. Oh my gosh, it what it used to be like to be able to go out and listen to that music, you know, and it was easy to find.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

It's just it's not as easy. Well, and what we found, this is kind of interesting too, is and this is nationwide. I think that there is a niche for this kind of like these RB in this particular case, these RB uh events being like day events, like yeah, like act day activity events, or like in this case, it was a Sunday night, right? And I was like, I was so excited I was gonna be home and in bed by 10 o'clock. It was over by nine. Yeah, it was over by nine, but it's it's kind of like your clubbing. Yeah, our Asian group, right? It was kind of like but we've got shit to do the next day. We gotta get up early, you know. Clubbing in midlife, that's kind of how it works. It's like if you're over 30, this would have been something you probably would have really loved because you got to do your thing, you gotta hang out with your friends, you gotta sing and dance and do all that, and then you gotta get home. Check it out.

SPEAKER_02 12:25

If you if you hear about one in your area, it is quite fun.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:29

What about like back to what we're talking about in these age gaps and and women dating younger

The Double Standard And Public Opinion

SPEAKER_02 12:35

men? Don't you think there's a double standard that has been out there? Like men dating younger women, like I can't think of the football. I think he's a football coach, Belichick, I think is his name, and he has he's like in his he's close to 70. I don't know how old he is, but his girlfriend is like 25 years old.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

Okay, so he's got money. So that I this is but there are clear, clear examples, you know. Yeah, she was saying we were talking about this before we got started. It's like, well, Madonna and Cher and I don't know Tina Turner. Um, these are all hot women that are older, right? But they're also not normal women. These are and they've got lots of money. Yeah, there's the there's a lot of that too.

SPEAKER_02 13:15

A nice young strapping man to have alongside of them.

SPEAKER_01 13:19

And he doesn't have painted on abs, probably either. No.

SPEAKER_02 13:22

But there is a double standard. So would you date younger Michelle? Yeah. In in theory. In theory I would. Yeah. I mean, I I I can't say I've dated, but I have, you know, escapated with younger younger men. And it's different. And it is too.

SPEAKER_01 13:36

Yeah. Yeah. And I've found that men that are older or a little bit older, I should say, it's like, especially in the dating world, you know, this has been my experience, which is a whole nother topic, but I'm just gonna go here. It's like if you think about men that have been recently divorced, or unless they're widow, usually, it's like or recently divorced out of these long-term relationships or whatever, and they're going literally right back into the dating world, they haven't done the work that got them into that position in the first place. So, and it's not to say that we couldn't be viewed the same way, I suppose, but they've got all this shit, this baggage that they're bringing with them, the way they communicate or don't communicate, the way that they're uh maybe abusive in the way they talk when they don't like something that you say. There's so many different things that people can get better at as they get older, or they can just stay the same. And so I think women seem to be more inclined to work through those things more than men and maybe have a in again, very general, but a very different sense of self. And so that's where the confidence level comes from.

SPEAKER_02 14:41

Because we're badass.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

Because we we are, but it's like when I'm when I'm dating when I'm dating or when I am, you know, anticipating or measuring or whatever, looking at someone, kind of checking them out or whatever, I don't really think about their age. I really don't think about the age. I mean, you know, unless he's got a lollipop in his mouth or something, I might stay away. But, you know, it's it's uh I just don't really think about that. It's how they carry themselves. The way they carry themselves is really, really important. The way they are, you know, their friend group, you know, if you see them out with people, what that looks like, how they behave, if they drink too much, all those things are things I pay attention to and would probably help me dictate whether that person would be someone I'd even be interested in. And you know, maybe they don't even like older women, so who cares? You know, it doesn't even matter, but that uh there's myths and lots of misnomers about older women too, that younger men probably are, you know, they're afraid or intimidated by. And so it just it kind of goes both ways. But I guess to say all of this, we say, you know, if he's younger and he treats you well and you're happy and you're comfortable and you want to be in a relationship with him, do it. If it's compatible, don't worry about public.

SPEAKER_02 15:53

Yeah. I mean, really, public opinion is always gonna be there in all the circumstances. You know, there's gonna be the the uh double standards are always there, you know, older men with younger women, older women with younger men, whatever it is, if it's compatible, go for it. Yeah, just do it.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

Yeah. So instead of Stella got a groove back, Michelle got a groove back. Yeah. That means that would be her. Anyway, we could go on on this topic for days, and there might be more to come on this maybe at a future episode, especially when we get the feedback from our listeners on this

Spicy Midlife Mindset And Final Take

SPEAKER_01 16:26

one. But uh, we are adamantly in favor of, I should say, I'm not gonna speak for Michelle. I'm saying I'm adamantly in favor of this if it works for you. I just think you do, you do you, ladies.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

It's just a number, I mean, we talk about this all the time because you know, when we refer to ourselves as as midlife, you know, there's we have public opinion about that too. Yeah. There's public opinion about us referring to ourselves as midlife women. Yeah. Because we're not 40. Yeah, right. And that's where we bring it back to we are spicy, which doesn't revolve around sex. That means confidence and bold. And we are in midlife. And it's not a number. It's it's about it's about maturity and mindset. So, you know, if if the if the age gaps work for you, you know, then do it.

SPEAKER_01 17:13

And men are and there are definitely some men, younger men, that are really drawn to that.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

And if you've not, it very yeah, there are. And if if you've not experienced it and you're curious, you know, you're not gonna know unless you pursue and try something of that age. Or you could just DM me and I'll give you the scoop. Yeah, there's that. Yeah. All right. Go.

Coaching Program Details And How To Join

SPEAKER_02 17:34

Let's talk for a second about our coaching program, Julie. We've got a one-on-one coaching program that we offer, and it is, you know, all about being spicy in midlife. If you are wanting to venture out and and feel like you could stand to have more confidence in midlife and enjoy some of the spiciness like you hear from me and Julie. We have a one-on-one coaching program, and we tailor it to whatever it is your needs are. We have a lot of fun with our clients, and it's it's a great program. So the link for it is in our bios. We're on all the socials, so check it out Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok, as well as YouTube. Subscribe if you head over that way. And also it is in the show notes wherever you're listening to this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 18:19

So and you can DM us the word spicy and we can share more information with you as well. That too.

SPEAKER_02 18:25

There you'll also see just I just want to make mention of our spicy merchandise do we because there is a link for yeah. So we've got shirts, hats, bags, there's there's stuff on there to make your life a little more spicy midlife. So so until next week, ladies, stay spicy. Stay spicy. Bye.