E163: The Prescription Trap: Why We Wait for Permission Instead of Trusting Ourselves

Most of us would rather wait for a prescription than give ourselves what we already know we need.

In this episode of Unchartered and Unfiltered: A Journey Back to You, Cynthia Jamieson explores why prescriptions feel safer than self-trust, and how this shows up in leadership and life. From waiting for your boss to set priorities, to saying yes when you’re already at capacity, to hoping your company will sponsor coaching before you invest in yourself — Cynthia shares real client stories and her own lived experiences of breaking free from the “permission slip” trap.

You’ll discover:

• Why avoidance feels safe but keeps you stuck.
• How saboteurs hijack your brain and Positive Intelligence can help you shift.
• Simple, practical ways leaders have stopped outsourcing authority and started trusting themselves.

This isn’t about waiting for someone else’s magic pad of paper. It’s about writing your own prescription — and trusting yourself enough to take it.

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✨ Join Be the Light—our free community where these principles come alive in practice. 

And if “no” is the prescription you’ve been avoiding, the Power of No Workbook is a simple place to start. For $22, you’ll uncover why saying no feels so hard, create your own “No Script,” and practice protecting your energy — without the guilt. 

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Transcript

Welcome to Unchartered and Unfiltered

Cynthia 0:06

Welcome to Unchartered and Unfiltered the journey back to you. I am Cynthia Jameson, your host, and this is where we break free from the noise and dive deep into what truly matters you. If you're tired of the shoulds, the expectations and the pressures to fit into a mold that doesn't serve you, you're in the right place. This isn't a podcast about easy answers or sugar-coated advice. This is your invitation to reclaim your path, embrace the unknown and become the bold, unapologetic version of yourself that's been waiting to show up. It's time to get unfiltered. Let's get started. Hello, hello, friends, and welcome back to Unchartered and Unfiltered a journey back to you. I am Cynthia Jamieson, your host, and I'm so happy to be here with you today, and I just want to say, getting out of the gate, I feel a little spicy today. I want to poke at something that might sting a little in today's episode, and it's something that I have been noticing everywhere, and I want to use a metaphor because it is something that we all recognize. And so here's what I want to share with you Just going to dive right in today. Here's what I want to share with you Just going to dive right in today.

Cynthia 1:28

Most of us would rather wait for a prescription than give ourselves what we already know we need. Just think about this for a moment. You're sick, you go to the doctor, they write something down, you hand it in and then you feel like you can take action. And we treat so much of our lives the same way. And here's a bit of a truth bomb Prescriptions feel safer than self-trust. And you might be asking yourself well, why do you say that, cynthia? And I'm saying that because if someone tells us what to do, we get to avoid responsibility. We can say things like see, my boss told me wasn't me, they told me to do it. If it fails, it's on them. I have heard this a hundred times, maybe a hundred thousand times. This a hundred times, maybe a hundred thousand times. But if we act on what we already know, suddenly it's on us, and that accountability feels terrifying.

Cynthia 2:37

And you know where this shows up. Leadership, and just imagine I'm going to give you some examples here. So you know that your team is drowning in meetings, but you don't cut the meetings out until a consultant comes in and recommends it. Oh well, they said 50% of the meetings have to go. Oh good, someone with a fancy binder told me, now. It must be safe.

Cynthia 3:01

Another example is you know that your top performer is burned out, but you wait until HR tells you to step in. And this one goes something like finally HR noticed Now I don't have to trust what I was seeing with my own eyes. Know that you're over-functioning doing the work of three people, but you don't delegate until your boss insists come on. Now you have to develop your people. And then it might sound something like I guess it's not selfish after all, because my boss said I should.

Cynthia 3:35

We pretend we don't know, but we do. We're not confused, we're avoiding. And we're not avoiding because we're weak. We're avoiding because our brains are trying to keep us safe from risk, rejection or shame. But the truth is that kind of safety is fake. It keeps us small, stuck and silently in suffering. And the real safety comes when you build self-trust within you and take your own prescription.

Cynthia 4:15

Actually, taking the prescription is what builds the trust within you, and I've seen this with my clients too. I've had one of my clients kept waiting for their company to send them to a leadership program before they invested in themselves. They knew that they were stuck, but they told themselves when the company thinks I'm ready, then I'll take the leap. And in coaching they realized that they didn't need the company's permission. And when they invested they stopped waiting to feel like a quote unquote real leader and they actually started leading. Another one of my clients was exhausted from doing the work of two roles. They knew that they needed to say something, but kept waiting for their boss to notice. The prescription that they thought they needed was their boss saying you're right, you can't do all of this. And guess what happens? Bosses never say that. What coaching gave them instead was the courage to say this isn't sustainable and to set the boundary themselves. And that changed everything. And so it's interesting just I've been observing this, as I said to notice where prescriptions sneak in, because it's not just at work.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies of People Pleasing

Cynthia 5:30

Prescriptions sneak into every corner of our life. At home it sounds like, well, if my partner agrees, then I'll invest in myself. And I used to do that one. I'd be like, yeah, well, you know, if he agrees that it's okay for me to go take this course. And then I'm like what's happening? What is happening? I am the subject matter expert on me. I know me more than anyone else ever could know me. Another way that this shows up is in our heads I'll start when I feel ready or when I feel confident. And another way that shows up in society is well, this only counts if it has a certificate, it has a title, it has an official approval or I get this raise. And I see this all the time. With buying coaching, too, people tell themselves if my company pays for it, then I'll do it, or if my boss suggests it, then I'll know that I'm ready for coaching.

Cynthia 6:30

But waiting for someone else to sponsor your growth is just another prescription. Coaching works best when you choose it for yourself, not when you're sent to take it like medicine. And here's the thing these aren't just thoughts, these are self-fulfilling prophecies. If you wait for your partner's, okay, they never see you choose you, so they keep assuming that you won't. If you wait to feel ready, readiness never comes. Have you ever noticed? It never comes. It's like confidence. It's like confidence.

Cynthia 7:10

I heard this quote from a person I'm going on a side note here, a little bit of a rabbit hole, but I heard this saying from a coach in Miami a couple of years ago. Confidence is like an iffy bestie Whenever you really need it, it doesn't show up. And that's why conviction or your values is a much better flag to put in the ground to stand on, because confidence never comes. Confidence is built by doing the thing that you're waiting to feel ready or confident to do. And another way that this shows up is like if you're waiting for external stamps of approval, you will keep overlooking your own lived wisdom, your own inner wisdom, your own inner guide, inner compass, inner truth and the prescription will show up anytime that you already know what you need, but you wait for someone else to tell you that it's okay.

Cynthia 8:12

So let me tell you a couple of stories about my clients. One particular client when they first came to me, they were convinced that they couldn't say no. On the outside, incredibly calm, capable, the person everyone relied on, and inside, they were exhausted. Their inner script sounded something like this If I say no, I'm going to let people down. If I say no, they're going to think that I'm not a team player. If I say no, I'll miss out. If I say no, I'm going to disappoint someone. So they say yes over and over yes to extra projects, yes to late night emails, yes to being the one who quietly picked up everyone else's slack. And the more they say yes, the more people asked. The more people asked, the more resentful they felt. And the more resentful they felt, the more guilty they became, which just fueled more yeses. That is the self-fulfilling prophecy of people pleasing the very thing that you're afraid of. Disappointing people becomes inevitable, because eventually you burn out or you snap.

From Reaction Mode to Leadership

Cynthia 9:27

Now here's what changed everything for this client. They worked through my power of no workbook. Inside, they uncovered the hidden beliefs that were keeping them stuck and built a personal no script that they could use in the moment so that when fear spiked, they had language ready. We practiced small steps Instead of an automatic yes, they tried. Let me think about that and get back to you. Instead of silence and resentment, they tried. I can't take that right now, but here's what I can do. And little by little, they built the muscle, the result. Over time, they didn't lose respect. They gained it. They didn't lose opportunities. They gained energy for the ones that actually mattered to them, and their team didn't collapse without them, like they thought they would. In fact, the team grew stronger because of the skill sets that they were able to learn.

Cynthia 10:32

So if you're listening and thinking, that's me. I can't say no. Here's what I told this client, you already are saying no Every time you say yes to something that drains you. The question is what do you want your no to stand for? Coming back to what is the thing that you want to be in your conviction about, and if you want to start practicing, you can grab the Power of no workbook for 22 bucks. I'll put a link in the show notes. You will uncover the patterns that make no hard for you and you will create your own no script, just like my client did. So you can say no without guilt and protect your energy, your time and your values. And I'm going to be honest with you. I have been there too. Saying no used to feel impossible for me I think I've said this on the podcast before but I had to read books about how to say no because I actually didn't think it was even possible. I really did believe that it was impossible, and I worried that it meant that I would disappoint people or that I would miss out or that I would look ungrateful, which is probably why I see it so clearly in my clients now. And when I first worked through the same exercises, I realized that I was saying yes out of fear, not out of alignment, and having my own script was what finally gave me the courage to protect my own energy without feeling guilty.

Cynthia 12:01

Another client of mine kept waiting for their boss to determine their priorities, and I see this all the time Again. It's not necessarily a problem, except for the fact that we were coaching on it. So they were constantly juggling 10 different projects. But instead of clarifying or choosing, their inner dialogue sounded like this I'm going to wait until my boss tells me which one matters most. They know better than I do Now. On the surface, that looked like being a team player, but underneath it meant that they were always stuck in reaction mode, never in leadership, and the cost was huge. They worked late nights, they stressed about dropping the ball and they felt like, no matter how hard they worked, they were always behind.

Cynthia 12:47

So in coaching, we unpacked all of that and they realized that their boss wasn't sitting there with a perfect list of priorities. Their boss was waiting for them to show up with clarity. So we practiced small shifts, asking here's what I think matters most this week. Do you agree? Instead of waiting silently, we practice proactively, choosing what to finish and let go of what wasn't urgent. They practice trusting their own sense of impact instead of outsourcing it, and the shift was immediate. They stopped looking like someone who needed to be managed and started acting and behaving like a leader. Their boss didn't think how dare you decide? Their boss thought. Finally, thank you for showing out with clarity about our priorities. That's amazing work Well done.

Stop Waiting for Permission

Cynthia 13:41

And I'm laughing because you know the takeaway to all of this right, because this is the thing waiting for the prescription, whether it is a leadership program, whether it's a boss's priority list, is why the work of positive intelligence matters so much, because your beautiful brain is brilliant and also sneaky. Don't make waves, you're not ready, you're going to mess this up. That's not the truth. That's your saboteurs, unsupervised toddlers with scissors hijacking your brain, and positive intelligence teaches you to spot them, to pause and to shift into sage, which is the wiser, calmer, more innovative part of you. That says you already know. Trust yourself, and that changes everything, because here's the deeper cost Every time we wait for permission, we prove to ourselves that we can't be trusted. That doubt feeds the cycle we wait longer, we shrink further down, we hand over our authority and then we complain that we don't have any Hand on heart. I've done this. My clients have done this. The ones who broke free were the ones who finally took the pill, the one called self-trust. So let me say it plainly Prescriptions aren't magic.

Cynthia 15:29

They're just someone else saying out loud what you already knew inside of you the safety you think you're buying. It's fake. It's procrastination dressed up as caution. So let me ask you, where are you waiting for a prescription right now? And what would shift if you wrote your own and trusted yourself enough to take it? Maybe it's even with coaching itself. I see this all the time waiting for the company budget, the boss's approval for the perfect timing. But the company budget, the boss's approval for the perfect timing. But the leaders who grow the most are the ones who don't wait for the prescription. They write their own, they decide I am worth investing in now, because here's the truth. No one is coming. No one's coming to rescue you with a magic pad of paper. And even if they did, you would still have to swallow the pill yourself. And maybe today is the day that you stop waiting.

Cynthia 16:32

And if you're tired of practicing alone, that is why I created Be the Light, because what you really want isn't more advice, you want relief, you want clarity, you want space to breathe, and inside of Be the Light you're going to find that. You're going to find prompts that will help you quiet the inner critic and hear your own voice and celebrate the things that you're doing well for yourself. You're going to hear conversations that remind you that you're not alone. You're going to be part of that. You're going to have tools free ones to get started and deeper, paid ones if you're ready to go further. Again, links will be in the show notes, and you're going to hear stories of leaders who stopped waiting for prescriptions and started leading with presence, purpose and ease.

Cynthia 17:18

I want to say this again there is no hay wall to begin. There is no credit card, just a safe place to stop waiting and to start choosing yourself. Again, all the links will be in the show notes and if you're already inside of Be the Light, please come and say hello. Tell me what you're learning, where you're getting stuck or even just what's resonating. I want to know how this work is landing for you and with that, I want to say thank you for being here. And let me say this more clearly I've waited for prescriptions too.

Cynthia 17:56

I've told myself that it was safer to let someone else decide. Safer to wait for the nod, the title, the approval. And when I catch myself in that old pattern now, I pause and I ask myself what am I avoiding? Because I completely notice myself. Am I avoiding responsibility? Am I avoiding disappointment? Am I avoiding the risk of trusting myself? And every time that I've waited I have made myself smaller. But the moment I trust my own wisdom, everything changes. I start saying no. When I mean no, I start choosing what's aligned with my values, instead of waiting for someone else to tell me that it was okay. I started to be the boss of me and I realized that the permission slip that I was waiting for had to come from me. That's why I love I'm thinking about this song, unwritten.

Be the Light Community Invitation

Cynthia 18:49

I can't remember who writes it but or sings it, but it's a reminder that nothing is final until you decide. It is your life, your leadership, your choices. They are still being written and the pen belongs in your hand, and that's the work, that's the shift, and that is possible for you too. So let me ask you again what prescription are you waiting for and what would shift if you stopped waiting and chose yourself today? And if you stopped waiting and chose yourself today, and if you're listening from our Be the Light community, I would love to hear from you.

Cynthia 19:28

Come say hello, tell me what you're noticing, what's been sticking, where you're getting stuck, because here's the thing Awareness is powerful, but it's easy, so easy to slip back into old patterns. When you're on your own and when you share it out loud, when you let yourself be seen, something shifts and maybe you've caught yourself waiting for the prescription again, or maybe you've tried a new no script and it worked. Either way, we want to celebrate you, support you and remind you that you don't have to do this work alone. That is the whole point of Be the Light a space where we practice together, where we fall down and we try again together and remind each other of what's already true. You're wiser, braver and more capable than the saboteurs in your head would have you believe. The permission slip that you've been waiting for it's already yours to write, and with that I will bid you adieu and see you back here, at the same time, in the same place, next week. Have a great week.

Cynthia 20:34

I hope that you're walking away feeling more aligned with your true self, more confident in the choices ahead and ready to leave the safe path behind, knowing you've got everything you need within. Remember, the journey to you isn't about finding one perfect direction. It's about trusting yourself enough to explore all of it. If you're ready to dive deeper, join me for the next episode and don't forget to subscribe so that you never miss the next step on your path. I invite you to join my mailing list at wwwcynthiajamesoncoachca, where we'll deepen our relationship and you can claim your copy of your Inner Compass, a guide to charting your course to authenticity. Until next time, stay unfiltered, stay true and, most importantly, stay you.