E186: Reiki, Self-Trust, And Building Real Capacity with Lori Ogden

Your life can look successful on paper and still feel misaligned in your body. That tension is what we’re naming out loud with Lori Ogden, a mother, Reiki and wellness practitioner, and corporate professional who understands what it’s like to carry a lot while trying to stay connected to yourself.

We talk about inner knowing and why it isn’t mysterious or reserved for “spiritual” people. It’s the quiet signal underneath the noise, and when we ignore it, we often default to overworking, people-pleasing, and patterns that repeat. Lori shares how self-trust grows through small, consistent choices and how mindfulness can be as simple as noticing what your thoughts are doing during a meal, a meeting, or a hard conversation at home.

We also get practical about nervous system regulation and energy healing. Lori explains what Reiki is, what a practitioner actually does, and how this kind of support can create clarity, shift reactive behaviour, and help you lead with more steadiness. We dig into fear versus intuition, self-sabotage, and the way grief and unprocessed emotion can show up in your work, relationships, and confidence if you keep pushing it away.

Connect with Lori here:

Lori Ogden Instagram

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Book a Reiki Session with Lori here

If you’ve been stuck on the hamster wheel, consider this a reset: one breath, one choice, one moment of grace at a time. Subscribe, share this with someone who’s been running on fumes, and leave a review with the practice you’re trying first.

Transcript

Welcome And The Core Invitation

Cynthia 0:05

Welcome to Uncharted and Unfiltered, The Journey Back to You. I am Cynthia Jameson, your host, and this is where we break free from the noise and dive deep into what truly matters. You. If you're tired of the shoulds, the expectations, and the pressures to fit into a mold that doesn't serve you, you're in the right place. This isn't a podcast about easy answers or sugar-coated advice. This is your invitation to reclaim your path, embrace the unknown, and become the bold, unapologetic version of yourself that's been waiting to show up. It's time to get unfiltered. Let's get started. Hello, hello, and welcome back to Uncharted and Unfiltered, a journey back to you. Today I am super excited to share a conversation that is also an invitation. Not to learn something new, but to notice what you already know and where you're not trusting it. In this episode with Lori Ogden, Reiki master and intuitive energy healer, we explore what's really underneath the pressure so many high-performing leaders are living in. You will hear us unpack why it's not a capability problem, it is a disconnection from yourself, how busyness becomes a way of avoiding what's actually true, the difference between fear and intuition, and how to tell which one is driving, and what it actually looks like to regulate yourself in real time so you can respond, not react. This episode isn't about doing more, it is about relating to yourself differently. And if you listen closely, you might just hear yourself in this conversation. And without any further ado, please welcome Lori. Hello, hello Lori. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I am excellent. I'm excellent. Thank you for joining me on the podcast. This is Uncharted and Unfiltered, a journey back to you. And I would love it if we could begin with you sharing who you are, what it is you do in the world, sure, and who you help.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

Sure. Um that's a lot to unpack. Let's see. Lori Ogden. And I am a mother and a Reiki and wellness practitioner. I work in corporate America. I manage my household. All the things that everybody does. Um, but I truly believe in helping others find peace and joy and comfort within their whole selves, mind, body, soul, spirit, um, through Reiki and spiritual practices, like Reiki, guided meditations, and whatever that journey might look like for them, I'm happy to support them along the way.

Cynthia 3:24

And I'm just curious, like if you can give us a little bit of an overview. It sounds like you wear many hats, like many of us. What led you to this path?

SPEAKER_02 3:36

I think all of those things, and I think that's why I felt like it was important to say it, right? Because we all wear many hats, but that's not exactly who we are at our core. Um, but it influences us on who we become or who we are in the moment or how we respond to things in the moment. And all of those things led me to where I am. Um like I said, working in corporate America, right? Going from an industry that was a man's world and working with women alongside women and watching the growth and the change and in women supporting women. And then also through my interactions now, you know, through my Reiki, you know, practice, how women show up for each other, not just in corporate, but also as entrepreneurs, which sometimes could be competition or could right be beneficial to help you grow your business. So so many things. Um, and then life experiences, becoming a mom, getting a divorce, finding a relationship again with myself, with a new partner, with my ex-husband and his new family, um, and then my children and them growing up. How can I support them with something else, you know, um, that I never had access to or didn't know about? So all of those things kind of led me here and continue to lead me here, and I continue to evolve and hope that helps others.

The Winding Path To Self Leadership

Cynthia 5:14

It's interesting, it's interesting. I'm thinking about when I first started this podcast, the idea was like, what is it that I wish I would have known? And I'm curious from your vantage point, from your perspective, from your lived experience and wisdom, what is it you wish you would have known?

SPEAKER_02 5:37

Yeah, I think I'm just coming to this realization now, too, in my 40s, and after becoming a mom and judging myself, I wish I would have known that you don't have to follow a specific path. You don't have to climb a specific ladder, you don't have to stay in one vertical. You know, you can continue to explore all these things, they don't have to just be hobbies, they'll weave in and out of your life however you want them to. Right. So I don't have to be a CEO, but I think probably when I started my career, I thought, well, if you're a woman in business, you have to be an executive, you have to be a leader. And I think I'm just finding other ways to be a leader now.

Cynthia 6:22

Yes, yes, and and I mean, beating your own drum, right? Yeah, it's like this is the way that I'm the CEO of my life.

SPEAKER_02 6:33

Yep.

Cynthia 6:35

Yeah, so good. So what we can open many doors in the conversations that we're about to have here. What's the door that you really want to open here today?

SPEAKER_02 6:51

I think the door that I want to open is bringing awareness, right, for everybody that might be listening to find the awareness that yes, they have the knowing inside of them, and what does that look like? So I guess I'm really I just want to encourage people to kind of explore that side of themselves, however that looks.

Cynthia 7:17

And why is that important?

SPEAKER_02 7:19

Uh, because I think so many people have gone down different paths and then want to come back to what's aligned for them, what's meant for them, what their truth is. And sometimes we wait too long to find that truth, or we don't know how to. And so I think I just really want to help people kind of explore that. Start exploring and getting curious with themselves.

Cynthia 7:40

Okay. What guidance would you have for them? So if I'm listening, like, okay, yeah, what does knowing my inner knowing? What the heck is that?

SPEAKER_02 7:51

Yeah, right. Trusting yourself, right? Trusting yourself and your in your you know, your intuition when it comes to the things that bring you happiness and joy. Less about less about what has to get done, but more about doing things you love, right? And it could be making your kids dinner, but where do you find the joy in that? Um, you know, how how does that show up for you? How do you find love within yourself? And how do you kind of sit with yourself? And listen, some people maybe are so happy in in the moment and in their life, and that's great. But I just feel like there is something to be said about a connection to yourself. So even if you have everything, even if you're happy and you think this doesn't apply to you, like it does, there's there's something inside of you that just wants to be acknowledged. And so I just think it's important to give yourself that awareness and space.

Cynthia 8:51

Absolutely. And I think you raise an interesting point because in my in my experience, and let's riff on this. I think that people have those moments of joy. They have those moments, maybe they're on vacation, maybe it's after Friday and they've done all the things that they need to do, they've met all the requirements, the calendar, the people, all of that. And then there's this other aspect of it, which is actually I'm so busy doing all of those things that perhaps I'm not even creating enough space to connect with anything inside of me, with that awareness, with the knowing, with intuition, like however you want to name it. I think it you can call it many things, but it's really connecting.

SPEAKER_02 9:44

Yeah, that's it. And you know what? It's and it's connecting and it's consistency because those things come in waves. We go on vacation every once in a while. We have a really tough week at work once in a while. Maybe more than once in a while, depending on what industry you're in, right? But but it comes, everything ebbs and flows. And so, where do you find consistency with yourself so that the tough moments aren't so tough and the peaceful moments are even more peaceful? Um, and it's giving yourself that space. And I I think all of that that you said, right? We're all so busy, we don't find the time. I mean, that's that's me. I make that excuse up for myself all the time, but then I find how important it is. And like, oh, everybody should should try to do this, right? So I have to practice what I preach too.

Inner Knowing Over External Ladders

Cynthia 10:32

That's the work, that's always the work is practicing, right? I mean, it's and and people on this podcast that listen to this have heard me say this before. We know the answer. Yeah, that's actually not the hard part.

SPEAKER_02 10:47

The hard part is acting on what we know, and that's why sometimes we don't want to know the answer, but we do. Like it's not the answer we want, but we know it because we then have to act on it.

Cynthia 11:02

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 11:04

This also helps give you that strength and motivation to be able to act when you know that there's something more aligned for you at the other end of it.

Cynthia 11:14

So if if we have invited people to kind of zoom out and expand their awareness and connect with their knowing, let's just imagine for a moment that there's somebody listening that has never heard that. How would you guide them?

SPEAKER_02 11:33

I would I would ask some questions about where they're giving too much of themselves and also what brings them to peace. How you know, how are they taking care of themselves? Because I think that's where the answers show up. Where you see where you're not giving yourself enough, and you maybe are giving too much for others. But it's also twofold because when you give to yourself, you can expand what you can give to others. So it's not really self-serving, it's more expanding your capacity with love for yourself. And I think when people understand it and see it that way, they're a little bit more willing to do it because otherwise we're nope, I have to give to this person, I have to give to that person, I have to show up for this person. And the answer is yes, but also where do you fit in? And I think that's when you start to get quiet. So that's how I would kind of guide them is with some of those questions.

Cynthia 12:38

Um yeah, and it's it's counterintuitive.

SPEAKER_02 12:42

Yeah.

Cynthia 12:43

There's a little play on intuition there, right? But it's counterintuitive and and it's so fascinating because it's a pattern I see often. I did it myself, right? I, which is probably why I can see it and hear it so clearly with others, probably the same for you, where we have this external focus on other people. Yeah. And what happens inside of us, we think that's the way to do it. It's the classic oxygen mask on the airplane.

SPEAKER_02 13:15

Yes.

Cynthia 13:15

Right? Yeah. And it's interesting to me. I had a client called just before we met here, and he was telling me, like, I was asking him, so how do you typically go about things? And he's like, I work really hard to keep people out of trouble. And I'm like, Oh, interesting. So, did you notice when you do that, you tend to always create a circumstance where you have people who need to be protected?

SPEAKER_01 13:41

Right, right.

Cynthia 13:44

So how do you think we solve this? How do we help people connect? Because again, I can see why we get inside of these patterns and we think a certain way. How do we interrupt that?

Making Space To Hear Yourself

SPEAKER_02 14:02

Yeah, it's the awareness. It's I think you know, from all the work that I've done that I I know has helped me is bringing awareness to your thoughts and your movement. So whether it's doing something for yourself physically or not to connect to yourself, whether it's you physically going to help, right? Like maybe, maybe you're your mom's caregiver. You have to physically go and help your mom. And how does that make you feel when you're done with it? Right? Do you avoid it? Do you do it and ignore everything else and get resentful or mistreat yourself? Just bringing awareness to the thoughts in your head. And it's easier said than done. But when you sit with yourself and answer some of the questions that I had just mentioned, and then you kind of live your life mindfully, right? Like I'm not saying sit down and meditate for 20 minutes a day. Just when you're eating something, how does it make you feel? Like start asking yourself those little questions, and those will become interrupters when you are saying something to yourself, when you're speaking to yourself, when you're feeling something in your body, and then go and do it, right? If you're if you're this walk is not bringing me joy, okay, then what will bring you joy? Is it going to yoga instead? Or, you know, but maybe you're a little scared. Okay, but if you're scared, go do it. If if you know that that's where the joy is gonna come from, go do it. And so just interrupting your thoughts, I think is even is good. And then you can sit and kick it with yourself or with someone else, you know, later on.

Cynthia 15:50

But well, you're really yeah, you're really touching on the like the capacity building, right? Because and it's interesting, I I would love to hear your thoughts on this because what what I see all the time, and we talked about this, so just for people listening, Lori and I have met each other on a virtual networking call, and then we wanted to spend some time with each other, so we did. And then we were like, we're having such a great conversation. We're like, people need to hear us have this conversation. So I think, and I don't want to speak for you, what I see all the time is that it's not a capability gap.

unknown 16:28

Right.

Cynthia 16:29

We're not talking about a capability gap here. I think we're talking about a gap in in connection with ourselves, and under pressure, people don't rise to their potential. We've heard this, we've heard this a hundred times, right? They they default to that pattern.

SPEAKER_02 16:49

Yeah.

Cynthia 16:51

Tell us a little bit about like how does Reiki fit in with this?

SPEAKER_02 16:56

Yeah. So Reiki is it's not religious, it's spiritual, but it's it meets you where you are. And Reiki is um universal life force energy. And we know scientifically, energy is everywhere. There's no blocks, can't stop it. And intention and intentionality in what you're working on. So you know, working with a practitioner like myself, this energy is coming to you and working with inside your body, right? Like I'm not doing anything, you're still doing your own work, you're still showing up for you, but it's energy, it's electric. It you know, um so if the intention is there to heal something or to find something new within your body, change a pattern, it will show up, right? So what worked for me was you know, it's it's different than meditating, right? You're quiet, and I say it's a massage for your soul because I love that. Yeah, it's relaxation, but there's work being done that you can't see, but the energy flows, and I think when and I think that's also why I say like get quiet with yourself because it's different than meditation. You're not meditating, but in either situation, and whether it's through a guided you know, space that I'm I'm holding or a private Reiki session, the intention and the energy will get to that person. So and that's you know, that's how I've seen it help others. Things might come up inside of their body because the energy is bringing it up, bringing it out.

Cynthia 19:03

Okay, bringing it to the forefront. Is it true that as a Reiki practitioner, you're not doing anything?

SPEAKER_02 19:13

Just hanging out. Um, I mean, I'm channeling the energy. Yes, right. I'm the conduit. Um, and I'm helping to guide that energy so that the person, the client, doesn't have to. They can just be there.

Cynthia 19:32

Okay. Okay. I just I thought it was important just because I've I've experienced Reiki, right? And I know that there's a lot that goes into it. I mean, it's a certification that you go and get, it's not just you know, a quick thing. So a lot of leaders might hear Reiki and think that that's separate from their day-to-day reality. Um, how do you see it showing up in like how someone leads, how they decide, how they communicate?

SPEAKER_02 20:05

It just brings so much clarity, right? I mean, there's so many benefits to Reiki. You know, it can help physically if you're going through something, whether it's an illness or a broken bone, right? That can help aid healing, help your body physically heal. But energetically, emotionally, it's also helping to bring things into perspective. You have an open mind, you're changing your thought patterns, which might change the way you lead. Whether you lead with more confidence or you're open to your team's perspectives, it just gets to where it needs to go in your body to break some of those barriers that might not help you be reaching your potential that might get in the way.

Cynthia 20:58

So I can get all of that in a Reiki session.

SPEAKER_02 21:01

I mean, you might need a few Reiki sessions, but yeah.

unknown 21:04

Okay.

Cynthia 21:05

So what changes, yeah, it could be even one, right?

SPEAKER_02 21:09

It's however the person adapts at the time, and everybody goes through things in seasons, or you know, maybe there's something traumatic that a person is working on that might take a few sessions, or you might just need one session every once in a while to make sure that you're aligned. Okay. Your energy centers are aligned that that you feel good in your body. Um, yeah.

Regulation So You Respond Not React

Cynthia 21:35

Okay. What changes in someone's behavior? And I'm adding to this because this is what we do. When they're more regulated, right? Because that's that's what like energy when you shift and move energy, right? Like even before calls or anything like that, if I have something coming up, like I can tell with my energy is stuck. I'm like, okay, let me go and regul. Let me go and rem remove some of that, shift it.

SPEAKER_02 22:03

Yeah. So two things I'll say actually, because you said when energy is stuck, Reiki also can work with energy and regulate energy that is overactive. Right. So a person might think that that's helpful. Oh, I can't stop doing what I'm doing, but you're you're spinning out of control. You're you're it's actually, you know, negating what you want to do. So you might want to slow down. So it's regulating a nervous system. So whether you want to use it at home or in work or with your partner or at the grocery store, you're slowing down. And then that's also maybe where those thought patterns get interrupted. You're slowing down and you're not reacting, you're responding. And that might your tone might change. Your body might not tense up when someone is not moving fast enough or saying things to you that you don't really want to hear at the time, right? But instead of reacting in a negative way, you can come back to your center and react from a maybe from a neutral place or from a truthful place. Sometimes hurt comes out as anger, right? If say your boss is giving you a review and you don't love it, and then you kind of snap. But actually you're hurt or avoiding self-reflection. You know, you might just sit for a minute because you're regulated.

Cynthia 23:38

Sounds like you have more capacity to be with what is. And I think, I mean, there's a couple of things coming to mind. Because when you were talking earlier about having the ability to be quiet with oneself and be mind like mindful in your eating or mindful in your leading, or just mindful, period. Um, what came to mind then was like being conscious. Yeah. Right? Like I am aware that this is the thought that I am having. I'm aware that I'm feeling a lot of discomfort because my boss just gave me a review and I don't love it. And creating space for me to like the invitation is for me to choose to behave differently. I'm curious if you could take us inside. Like, how does this work help someone in a real moment like that? Like the difficult conversation, or if the anger is present or a high-stakes meeting, like how can this help them in that moment? And the reason why I'm asking that is because my observation is there are so many humans right now being impacted, what's happening within their world, within their context. And and I feel like, and I know this for myself, like there was a time I didn't feel safe enough to pause.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

Yeah, right.

Cynthia 25:05

Right. Because if I pause, then holy shit, I'm gonna have to experience all these feelings that I've been running away from.

SPEAKER_02 25:11

Yeah. And also people get used to those feelings, and it's like a security blanket.

Cynthia 25:18

It's like more about that.

SPEAKER_02 25:19

What happens? What happens if the anxiety goes away? Then what will my body feel like? I don't know, and I don't want to know. You know, it's it's a fear. But whether you're in business or just in life, right? We talk about high capacity, high achieving individuals. Well, even as a parent, you're parenting humans, you're high achieving. You know, there's some pressure there. So, regardless of the situation, I think anybody can kind of relate to it. And when you're, you know, likely when you're in business or giving a you know, uh presentation or holding a meeting, you're preparing. So this is being prepared, regulating your nervous system before having those conversations, before going into those meetings, right? Like this is routine maintenance for yourself so that you can show up to these things and be able to be regulated and respond rather than react.

Cynthia 26:18

And can you give us some examples of how to do that?

SPEAKER_02 26:23

Um, yeah, like with Reiki or in just in general.

Cynthia 26:26

Well, just like if I'm going to that high-stakes meeting or if I'm having that argument with my spouse, like how do I regulate? What does that look like?

unknown 26:35

Yeah.

Cynthia 26:35

People for people who get in, they may not have experienced that.

SPEAKER_02 26:40

Right. And and some people kind of hear the word spiritual and they think, oh, that's not for me. And it's not, it doesn't even necessarily have to be on that level, right? It's just energetic. But the same thing shifts if you want to journal, right? Maybe the night before your meeting, journal about your emotions, journal about your feelings, write about what could go well, right? So you're also changing maybe your fear or the outcome, right? Like I keep coming back to this. If you're fearful or you have some hesitation about doing it, you might want to do it or at least explore.

Cynthia 27:22

You might want to go meet it. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 27:24

Just meet it and see. So that's one thing. I also think you know, the things that bring you clarity, maybe people already know. Oh, if I go for a run, my mind is clear. Be prepared, right? Go for that run. There are some days I know I need to go for a run before my kids get home from school, or I need to sit and meditate, you know, breathe for five minutes, whatever it looks like. And again, changing, being mindful and changing those things like early in the day. So, okay, I have a jam-packed day. Where am I gonna sit for five minutes for myself? And what am I gonna do during those five minutes? It doesn't have to be long, it doesn't have to be a lot, but something for you to find that nervous system resolution.

Cynthia 28:18

Absolutely. And I'm I'm a big fan of positive intelligence, and we've talked a little bit about that. But even if we look at video from Formula One race car racing, we see humans in the cockpit. I don't know if I'm saying that the right, like the place where they change the tires. Oh, yeah. But they're I mean, they're taking their thumb and their forefinger together, and they are they are doing what is called like that's a connection that they're making with themselves, they're bringing their attention and intention to that.

SPEAKER_02 28:52

Right.

Cynthia 28:53

And I'm just I'm also curious, like in your view, like, is that how is that shifting the energy?

SPEAKER_02 28:59

Yeah, well, you said it, they're they're connecting with intention. Okay, and that is how the energy shifts, right? Because they're also doing it at a fast pace. So you don't have to think of this as slowing you down, but doing it with intention. Yes, and practice, everything is practice. You know, I was reading something today about you know, Ayurveda, and and I'm I don't practice it, I'm not super familiar with it, but it's a practice, and I know that there's food around it, right? And it's uh getting connected to yourself, but but and then you talk about mindfulness and you talk about meditation and you talk about yoga, all these different things, it's all practice, but bring it back to the tires, it's practice and it's intention. So if you're an executive and you need to get 12 reports done, okay, but do it with intention, you'll make less mistakes, you're you will respond differently, you will be a little bit more positive, right? Like maybe the report will come out better than you thought.

Cynthia 30:15

Yes. I love so I love this so much because again, it's counterintuitive. When I'm on my way to the meeting and I think I don't have time, yeah. I actually it only takes a moment. It only takes a moment to connect with yourself. One of the things that I'll just raise it here in case it's useful for anyone listening, and maybe even for yourself. I'm my guess is you've probably done it though. Even visualizing what is this that I could do differently next time will also rewire the neural pathways in our minds. We know this from research, and I think that's why different modalities can offer different things. And so it's really the invitation is to find what works with you. So practice, experiment, practice, yeah, keep keep going with that. And Lori, if I'm I have a question for you. What, in your view, in your experience, what blocks people from trusting themselves even when they're highly successful?

SPEAKER_02 31:20

Fear, fear of not knowing, right? Like not knowing the outcome, or even if they think they know the outcome, but what happens if I fail? Well, but we just said, you know, you can take the feedback, and how will I do things differently the next time? Right? Like there's always that chance to observe yourself or your actions and make changes going forward.

Cynthia 31:51

It can be quite confronting, hey. Yeah, yeah. Well, and and I and I say that because I mean, I always invite people to think about like I invite people to step into their greatness, and that isn't for the faint of heart to be able to do that because wherever you go, there you are. I want to touch on something that you said there, right? So it's noticing fear. So, how do you distinguish between intuition and fear?

SPEAKER_02 32:25

Yeah, that's a really, really good question. Um, right, because we were also saying, oh, if you're hesitant about something, go to it. But also if you're intuitive and there's hesitation, you know not to go to it. Um, I think it's just that discernment between what do I want? And that's getting quiet with yourself. That's those interrupting thoughts. If it's something you want, but you're scared, go for it. If you're fearful of it, like in your gut, right? Like, listen to your body. Your body is telling you what you need to know too. So it's a little twofold. It's it's physical and and in your mind, like your gut knows if it's meant for you or not, too. I guess either way, it it all kind of comes back to that truth, and just listening to yourself.

Fear Versus Intuition In The Body

Cynthia 33:33

Yeah. Well, and it's and it's been it's interesting. Um, I actually don't know if I shared this with you or not, but I I went to India recently, and my brain was full of fear. And so I was like, okay, so I mean, I had intuition to sign up for the thing. I was like, yes, I need to be there. Didn't even didn't even look at the prospectus, didn't look at any of that because it's I just knew. Yeah. So I went for it. And then as the day got closer, I started to have all in all this fear. And it was interesting because the way that I discerned for myself, was this fear or was this intuition for myself? Was I actually asked myself, I got quiet and I was like, would I be would I be happy that this was fear, or would I be happy that it would be self-sabotaging?

SPEAKER_02 34:23

Yeah, well, sometimes we self-sabotage out of fear.

Cynthia 34:27

That's what I was doing.

SPEAKER_02 34:28

Yeah, yeah.

Cynthia 34:29

And and so that I could so once I asked myself that question, I was like, would I feel relief? Where would I find relief? And I found relief in recognizing that I was sabotaging myself.

SPEAKER_02 34:45

That's it. And it's giving yourself the grace to let go of the self-sabotage, to let go of the fear. And again, it changes your thought patterns and it's acknowledging what's going on in your head to be able to decide instead of letting the blocks just sit there and the fear just sit there.

Cynthia 35:07

Yes. And and and I mean, taking the choice to shine the light on the fear versus running away the other the other way. I mean, if there were one thing that I could shift in the world, it would be that. Yeah. It would like just notice what's there. Like, be can we come to a place of curiosity within ourselves where we can take a look at what's there and be really curious? Because half of the fear is really just some of it's really funny.

unknown 35:38

Yeah.

Cynthia 35:38

It's like, oh, I'm really worried about that. But unless we have, yeah, unless we have the the willingness, the openness to be able to go to the depths and see what's there, yeah, then it's that's what's running the show.

SPEAKER_02 35:54

Well, that's it. And we're our biggest critics, right? Nobody else is running the show. We are. We are somebody doesn't like the work you did, but it brings you joy. Okay, someone else will find your work joyful and meaningful, right? You don't have to do the work to please somebody else. You have to do the work for yourself. So if it's bringing you joy, if it's bringing you happiness, then you keep doing it. And you face yourself, you face your fears, you you know, you face yourself sabotage, and and you learn how to navigate it.

Cynthia 36:38

There's two paths, right? Like I can live my life from self-sabotage, which is the root of that is fear based.

SPEAKER_01 36:46

Yep.

Cynthia 36:47

Or again, another counter counterintuitive. Like, I actually can live and lead my life from a place of love and joy.

SPEAKER_02 36:54

Right. And because do you think that the person who didn't like your work is ever gonna think about it again or or care about it, or you know, no, but you have to live with it, so you need to learn how to love it. Yes, walk away from it if it doesn't bring you joy.

Cynthia 37:10

So good. Lori, what do you think a self-trusting person does differently?

SPEAKER_02 37:21

I think that they find the time for themselves in a way that works for them.

Cynthia 37:30

Are you giving us an example?

SPEAKER_02 37:33

I think it's the people that practice what they preach, right? It might be it might be the yoga teachers that have to show up for themselves every day, but it's again twofold. They're showing up for others, so they have to show up for themselves so they can trust themselves because they want other people to show up for themselves. Did I say that right? Um, it's the people that are making space for themselves, going out for the run, taking themselves out to their favorite restaurant by themselves, you know, just not doing the thing even if there's fear there. And I think that then they you start to trust yourself. So it's little things, and then I think it gets bigger.

Cynthia 38:22

And then do you ever get there?

SPEAKER_02 38:26

I think so. I think so. I've noticed shifts in my life. Um, I'm not completely there yet, and I think the people that I work with are not completely there yet. And who knows? Maybe we don't ever all completely get there.

Cynthia 38:39

Well, it's it's it's it's interesting. It's something that I've been thinking about, and I I guess I liken it to just being someone who was on the hamster wheel for so long. Like it was like I noticed how I was telling myself, well, I'll feel better then. Like I just kept moving the goalposts. Yeah, right. And I think we can also do that with this.

SPEAKER_02 39:01

Oh, totally. And you know what? I think we're we've all been conditioned, right? Whatever our lives are, wherever we live, we're conditioned to believe certain things, live certain ways. It's the right thing to do. So you kind of just do it, and then there's also ego that we kind of just have or we feed, right? Um, but those things show up differently for everybody, and so to kind of shake off the conditioning, shake off the ego, but those things kind of also always come creeping back up. So will we ever truly get there to self-trust and self-knowing? Maybe, but I also think it's offering that grace to yourself when okay, I do doubt myself sometimes, or okay, that is that that might be fear.

Cynthia 39:58

I might yeah, I might have to question myself again or push myself again, or it comes back to the practice again, right? And realizing that I mean, nothing is random, but also your relationship. I heard a couple of things there, like the relationship you have with yourself, the relationship you have with doubt, the relationship you have with your fear, it's an invitation to be a little bit more intimate with that, more connected to that, more mindful of that, and how it's running the show, and to be able to notice that in a way that doesn't create self-judgment.

Grief Trauma And Self Abandonment

SPEAKER_02 40:43

That's it. And and we've talked a little bit about grief too, and acknowledging that and what that I think we talked about that the last time we spoke, how that might show up for somebody and acknowledging it, and and people have trauma because we're humans, and trauma for one person might look completely different for somebody else. And sometimes we minimize our own trauma, our own experiences, our own grief because oh, it's not as bad as somebody else's, or whatever that is. So then we're uh pushing away our self-care, our self-love, our truths, and that's doing a disservice too.

Cynthia 41:33

What you're raising now is like self-abandonment, right? Yeah, but let me let me abandon my own, like witness the opportunity to witness my own grief, my own tears, my own heartbreak.

SPEAKER_02 41:48

Right.

Cynthia 41:49

But instead, let me just focus my brain over here so that I'm bypassing that.

SPEAKER_02 41:54

Exactly. And then how are you weaving that into your everyday life and how you show up for meetings or how you show up for your kids? Are you self-regulating if you're pushing other things that live in your body away?

SPEAKER_01 42:11

Right?

SPEAKER_02 42:11

If you don't acknowledge it, so acknowledging thoughts, acknowledging what your body's holding on to, and just kind of getting clarity and acceptance, and then you can self-regulate and find peace. And you know, you're not I think when you realize you're not pushing it away, right? Like we talked about earlier. If you have anxiety but you're too fearful to get rid of the anxiety, what does it feel like? You don't have to get rid of it, and you don't have to get rid of grief. You're not gonna get rid of what you're feeling, you're not gonna get rid of your experience. We're actually acknowledging it, we're changing that perspective, and we're changing the perspective on our thoughts. We're changing our, you know, I talked about journaling the outcome of a meeting. You're changing your perspective on what could happen.

Cynthia 43:03

And how powerful is that to change your perspective, which again changes your reality. Yeah. Right. What do you think people are avoiding when they stay busy?

SPEAKER_02 43:25

I think that they're avoiding their potential. The fear of the unknown. What if I fail? Or what if I succeed? What does that look like? It could be the opposite. Um just change. Sometimes humans are afraid of change.

Cynthia 43:53

Fascinating. Right? Because and and and I see this in my work too, right? It's I don't people come. And in leadership, that this happens all the time. I want them to change.

unknown 44:05

Right.

SPEAKER_01 44:05

Exactly. Exactly.

Cynthia 44:08

But whenever I'm pointing over there at them, there's always three fingers pointing back at me, giving me the opportunity, right? To be able to change my own mind about it. Sometimes I think we don't realize how powerful we really are. Yeah. And we give that authority away to everywhere.

SPEAKER_02 44:26

Right. And just because you can change how you react or change what you think or whatever change you're making, again, it's not getting rid of your life experience. It's not getting rid of your grief. It's not getting rid of your truth. It's actually bringing more light to it so that you can evolve and change with without the fear and being kind to yourself.

Cynthia 45:03

It's almost, I mean, and this is getting on work that I've been doing, it's transmuting the fear.

unknown 45:09

Yeah.

Cynthia 45:10

Like if like if I'm willing to look at the fear that I'm that I don't think that I'm enough to do something, whatever that thing is.

SPEAKER_01 45:17

Yep.

Cynthia 45:18

Like, how can I take that and then have deep compassion for that? Right? Oh my gosh, like I see how much I really, really care about how I show up in this thing.

SPEAKER_02 45:29

That's right.

Cynthia 45:29

And then thinking about how can I have some gratitude for the ways that I showed up for other things as hard before.

SPEAKER_02 45:35

Yeah.

Cynthia 45:35

Like, how can I celebrate my own growth to this point? Because I don't I don't think we do that either. We just keep keep evolving or keep busy or focusing.

SPEAKER_02 45:47

And you have to get to the next thing.

Cynthia 45:49

Yeah.

unknown 45:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:50

Not judging it. Yeah, when you're getting clear, when you're not judging yourself, you're building your confidence. And that's gonna also help keep propelling you to the next thing, right? Again, everything's kind of counterintuitive. Right? We think if we just stay busy, we'll just get to the next thing. Yeah, yeah. Always the case, or it's not always what you want. You want to get to the next thing that's aligned with who you are in the moment.

Cynthia 46:19

And what if they don't?

SPEAKER_02 46:21

Well, then they might be calling me for Reiki. No, I I think then you just kind of feel stuck. Then you kind of feel on like you're on that hamster wheel. You feel like you can't get out of your head. You you feel like you're spiraling. And it's just a pattern that then keeps repeating. But we can break the pattern.

Grace Practice And Small Daily Choices

Cynthia 46:46

So I was just, I was just gonna ask you. I was just gonna ask you, like if someone listening is experiencing this in this moment, right? They're they're pushing, they're aiming, they're doing they've heard themselves in this conversation.

SPEAKER_02 47:00

Yeah.

Cynthia 47:01

And they don't feel aligned inside. What would you want them to know, Lori?

SPEAKER_02 47:09

That we all have the capacity to hold space for ourselves. And I guess I would just encourage them to find the time, the thought, the breath, the few seconds to give themselves grace, and that will start propelling, right? That that will start leading to the next moment of clarity, the next moment of healing, the next moment of confidence. And like in instead of going backwards, you kind of you'll see yourself going forward, and it's just noticing.

Cynthia 47:56

It's just noticing and choosing.

SPEAKER_02 47:58

And choosing, yeah, choose yourself.

Cynthia 48:00

Noticing and choosing. Well, and it sounds, I mean, the way that I and I'm I just I know the power of this work. Yeah. So how quickly, like even one choice can change your reality.

SPEAKER_02 48:17

Yeah.

Cynthia 48:18

And how if you have days of that, if you practice, again, these are invitations. I always say to people, like, I'm gonna give you an invitation, you get to decide if you RSVP, you are the expert on you. Everything starts with one choice.

SPEAKER_02 48:33

That's right.

Cynthia 48:34

And then you're shifting your reality and no longer in that pressure that you've created for yourself.

SPEAKER_02 48:41

Yeah. And you might start to see yourself slip back into the pattern, but if you give yourself grace, you're more inclined to go back to doing what's working to make you feel good. And you'll also see the difference in when you're being kind to yourself, when you're taking a moment for yourself, the difference you feel on that day versus the day you beat yourself up in your head, and you know, instead of going for the run, you want to sleep. Right? Give yourself grace on those in those moments and say, you know what? My body needed the time to rest. You know, you kind of you'll start to make those connections and ask those questions, and it will just keep propelling you forward.

Cynthia 49:35

I think we're lived evidence of that.

SPEAKER_02 49:38

I think so.

Cynthia 49:39

Right? Like, yeah. People know my story, they have a sense of your story. Is there anything else that is there anything we haven't covered here that you are that you were hoping to, that you wanted to, that you feel you're like, I can't leave this episode without saying this thing?

SPEAKER_02 49:57

Yeah, um, no, I don't think so. I just I just hope that this conversation resonates and I think it will resonate with many people that you're not alone, that these conversations happen and they happen probably all the time with all different people if you start noticing it. Um, and to just kind of make those little choices for yourself.

unknown 50:26

Yeah.

Cynthia 50:27

I mean, I mean, if not you, then who?

SPEAKER_01 50:29

Yeah. Yeah.

Cynthia 50:33

There's something to be said for this idea that like we are the ones we've been waiting for. Like many, many people wait for the leader or the mother or the like somebody to do something.

SPEAKER_02 50:45

Yeah.

Cynthia 50:46

That's an invitation to us to do it for ourselves.

SPEAKER_02 50:49

Or you live for somebody else. But life happens and you you find yourself with yourself the most. So are you doing the things that keep you balanced, that keep you happy?

How To Find Lori

Cynthia 51:07

So good. So good. So if people want to find out more about you, work with you, connect with you, how do they do any of that?

SPEAKER_02 51:18

Metahealing Reiki. I am on Instagram and uh website, metahealingraiki at gmail.com. Um, and yeah.

unknown 51:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 51:30

I would love to work with anybody on any level, whatever they think, reach out.

Cynthia 51:35

Well, I will put all of that in a show notes so they can access that easily. And I just want to say thank you so much for just sharing your medicine in the world. At a time, at a time when people really, really, really can use it. Yes. So we've offered lots of medicine here today. Yeah. The invitation stands, and people will take what they need.

SPEAKER_02 52:05

Yep. Thank you for the opportunity.

Closing Invitation And Next Steps

Cynthia 52:08

Thank you very much. All right. I'll talk to you later. Talk soon. I hope that you're walking away feeling more aligned with your true self, more confident in the choices ahead, and ready to leave the safe path behind, knowing you've got everything you need within. Remember, the journey to you isn't about finding one perfect direction. It's about trusting yourself enough to explore all of it. If you're ready to dive deeper, join me for the next episode and don't forget to subscribe so that you never miss the next step on your path. I invite you to join my mailing list at www.cynthia JamesonCoach.ca, where we'll deepen our relationship and you can claim your copy of your inner compass, a guide to charting your course to authenticity. Until next time, stay unfiltered, stay true, and most importantly, stay you.