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Cosplay Chronicles: The Therapeutic Journey Begins

• Sarita Kittell • Season 2 • Episode 9

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Ever wondered how a first-generation college grad, engineer, and small business owner found solace in the magical world of cosplay? Join Sarita Kittell in an engaging conversation with Genoveva, a brave soul who turned her childhood trauma into a journey of self-discovery and healing. Listen as Genoveva unfolds her story, from battling the challenges of maintaining relationships to embracing the comforting narratives of TV shows and Disney movies. 

Take a deep dive into the transformative world of cosplay with us. Genoveva shares how it became her sanctuary, a way to express her identity, and a testament to her childhood values instilled as a border baby. What's more, she found a supportive community where she could be her true self. You'll get to know how these experiences mirror in the characters she portrays and how cosplay serves as a conduit for building relationships and escaping the everyday grind.

But it doesn't stop there; we transition into the captivating realm of Disneybounding - a trendy and inventive form of closet cosplay. Genoveva illuminates how this creative form of expression brought her closer to her inner child and helped her heal trauma. As you explore the rise and hype of Disneybounding, you'll get to share in Genoveva's adventures, the joy, and the kinship it offers. So, come along for this remarkable journey of self-expression, healing, and unity through the enchanting lens of cosplay. 

Join us for a conversation that promises to leave you inspired, enlightened, and perhaps even ready to explore your own journey of self-discovery through the transformative world of cosplay.

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Speaker 2:

Hello everyone and welcome to season 2 at Oroasis podcast. I am Sarita Kitel, your host and mental skills coach. Here, your soul, your body and your spirit are 100% welcome and accepted. You are not alone here, nor judge, so grab a cup of coffee, tea or anything that warms your soul. We are going to lean into our slogan of be kind to yourself, be brave, be loud and be strong, and let's get cozy and have a chat.

Speaker 2:

Before we dive into today's topic, it's essential that we know that, while I'm a therapist and a mental health professional, this podcast is not a substitute for therapy, nor I am your therapist. The stories and discussions that we share here are meant to inform you and inspire you, but should not replace professional advice or support. If you know someone or you are struggling with your mental health, please seek professional help. In the footnotes of this content, you will find emergency help lines and websites. And don't forget to like us and subscribe to Oroasis podcast and Instagram, and also sign the email list that is at the end of the footnotes of this episode. So, my starlight, I have a treat for you. I have somebody that is living 100% herself. She's loud, she's proud and she is the kindest human being I have met. Her name is Genoveva. She is a first generation college grad, working engineer, a small business owner, a border baby in the oldest of three. She grew up, like many of us, in a Latino household where precious to maintain certain image in tradition was limited to self expression, especially when we are border babies, when we are not totally traditional. But we are also not totally against it. And she follow her dreams and her journey and she discover a love for life by healing her inner child and trauma, by experiencing her self realization. And the discovery of what true self confidence and true love feels through community and her community of choice is what we are going to talk about in this episode today. Well, thank you so much, genoveva, for coming today to sit with us here at Oroasis podcast with our little warm coffee or tea. Well, in her case she has water, so you guys are for a treat.

Speaker 2:

Genoveva is an amazing not only friend, but also she does something that normally people doesn't notice. As you know, she has a normal 8 to 5 job, an engineer, correct, yes, ma'am. So if you see an engineer, you will not put the one one together. So today we are going to talk about healing your inner child. With our remarkable guests, we are going to embark on a profound conversation. This is for everybody's trigger warning. We will talk a little bit about childhood trauma. So, genoveva, tell me how did you start in this hobby? That started as a hobby and now it's a passion, right, tell our audience how it was and how did you start it, and how has healed your inner child?

Speaker 1:

Sure. So I mean there's a lot right. So I mean, definitely, like you said, trauma is a thing and we all I feel like most of us go through some degree of it, some type of it. I know, for a very long time I remember being, I felt like I was a little bit of an outcast as a child because the majority of the time that you know, I tried making friends and I tried like figuring out a way to like relate to people. It was hard and a lot of the times I found myself relating to all these like kids in school, because I went through a lot of different elementary schools. I constantly changed schools. I did not have consistent group of friends. They were always changing, especially as a border baby. You know, I grew up in Tijuana, went to school in Tijuana and then started coming to school in the US in like a second semester or fifth grade. So they cut my fifth grade in half. You know I wasn't going to have like my same buddies. I was going to graduate, but I'm quote sixth grade with.

Speaker 1:

So from the very beginning I had this like a tough time retaining friendships and you know, the only thing that I could relate to the most that was easy, was definitely like what TV show are you watching? You know what's your favorite color, you know, like let's have a conversation the simple things and you know. Now, as an adult, looking back on little things like that, it makes me realize that those are the things that really made me feel seen and accepted and I got to relate with a lot of other people with those things. Now you know some of those shows, thankfully, like they're resurfacing, right. Or like Disney you brought up Disney. I mean it's a very big potential answer, right. So just to like narrow it down a little bit, disneyland right, I know that millennials that go to Disneyland get me fun of a lot and that's perfectly fair. Everybody gets me fun of some way or another. But as a not fully self disclosed Disney adult just because for me Disney adulting came on very, very late on and it's very new to me Movies like you know, hunchback of Notre Dame it's a little heavy. It's a bit of a heavy movie.

Speaker 1:

That is one of my favorites and I related really hard with two characters and those two characters I love dressing up as bounding at Disneyland. One is an empowering character and the other ones are extremely well. They're both very compassionate, but you know, they have traits that I really admire since I was little and even more now as an adult. But I mean, when it comes to quote unquote, like trying to heal myself, you know, self heal I really believe that stories are extremely powerful and that's something that we have from day one, that's something that we learn as children without really putting the weight on it that it really has.

Speaker 1:

And Characters are a reflection of both the most beautiful side of us and the most terrible, heartbreaking, you know, dark side of us. And I think it's a beautiful thing to celebrate the parts that we both relate to and sometimes are not very proud of, because it helps us kind of work through those feelings. You know, we get to see this character progress and learn and mess up and fail and try to get up and better, and I feel like it teaches us a lot and it's something that I really, really, truly, you know, live by and as an engineer. It's like People are so busy thinking technical most of the time and Thinking how do we solve this problem? That is not emotionally correlated, it's not social, it's not human. It is human to a sense, right, because it's a you know you're talking moving people. I do traffic engineering, so it's moving people and social economic issues. But it's different where you really consider how you work with people and how you develop friendships and strengthen them or how you, you know, try to get out of a very tough situation.

Speaker 2:

You know it's, it's a lot yes, and if you guys haven't guessed, yes, genevieve does cosplay. One thing that we talk about cosplaying or disney bounding or adult disney is a lot of us. We didn't have the chance to go to disney skates, to social, economical issues, language barriers, etc. There also we didn't have. When you're in survival mode, you don't have the time to like all this, pick this dress. You live through the stories of hardships, in love in Of your favorite characters. So when you become a cosplayer Is almost like you say, showing all those parts that were not allowed as a child to be. Because as a child you say you have to use different mask in order to relate to people, because that's what we do to be able to survive. Now we don't have to survive. Now we have our adult life and we see that there is parts of those that still craving something. That playful part. Right, and I use, I do self cosplay, which for people that is not aware of that. So cosplay means I'm a beginner, beginner, but you know that is not.

Speaker 2:

She's actually a very good cosplayer. So tell me what? What attracted about that community? Because that what it sounds is you were in the search of a community that accept you and love you. The pretty parts, the ugly parts, the scary parts in the parts that we don't talk about, right, yeah, yeah, because a lot of our cosplayers like yes, of course there is some that very sexualized, but that's so sexuality being in power. There is some that very romantic or very kid like. So there is parts of our lives that we have in live due to, I can say, childhood trauma or economical status, or we were border kids. Right, so, yeah, we are a duality. So how do you start in cosplay and when do you realize this is something that I'm actually not only get at it, I love it.

Speaker 1:

Oh man. So let me see, because right now it's more real, right? I mean, first of all, you're saying that you're like a little baby cosplayer. Nothing wrong with that. I absolutely love that, because everybody has different levels of it, right? Yeah, you might think that I'm like over here doing super crazy stuff and I know people that do stuff that I'm like, oh my god, I can only hope I get to your level. You know they're, they're building, you know, armor from scratch. I'm just here like bro, I'm just trying to find the right dress, like you guys are on another level and I appreciate you and I aspire to get to that level, right? But yeah, to answer your question, I think I think the first time I really started was while I was in college.

Speaker 1:

I mean, my whole life I love playing dress up. You know, unfortunately I'm a Leo. I'm kidding, I love being a Leo. I'm trying to get into my Leo power. It's. It's been a struggle, but you know, I've always loved playing dress up.

Speaker 1:

But it wasn't until college when I remember having a conversation with a friend I had at the time that I loved the movie Edward Scissorhands and I just I had the biggest crush on poor Edward and yeah, anyway, I'm not gonna go down the rabbit hole, but I just I loved him so much and I really wanted to cosplay him. And I didn't know cosplay was the word for it. I just knew that I wanted to dress up as him for Halloween, for instance. And that started me down a big old rabbit hole, going into the internet finding out how people made their own costumes, because I was like I can't find the right one. I might get myself just some black pants, some white shirt, some suspenders, a crazy wig, I'll make the gloves, whatever. And that kind of started because I realized I had more than just appreciation for this character. I had a genuine, deep love for a character that was so compassionate.

Speaker 1:

It became a fault for a character that got taken advantage a lot because he was so kind and he didn't realize that he was getting taken advantage of and like all these really deeply rooted things. You know, because we're I mean, we're both, we're just Mexicana, you know. So, like I am Hispanic, I'm a border baby, I was taught to be you know someone who always does everything in your power to help out other people. You put them first, so you don't consider yourself in that process at all. So the way you're brought up, it's like the right idea, you know, trying to be kind to people and helping people. But it becomes a thing where you just take it a little bit too far and sometimes people will take advantage. So to me, andrew's, his or her hands was someone that I thought was just like very much too close to who I am as a person, but at the same time I'm like, oh, but I love you because you're so sweet and you're so kind and you're just tender and caring, you know, empathetic. And he has a lot of love to give.

Speaker 1:

And starting dressing up as his or her hands just for Halloween became, oh, there's such a thing as Comic Con. My parents could not take me to Comic Con growing up. They were not going to let me do that. My mom was a very, very, you know, popular beautiful girl in school. She didn't do nerdy stuff. So the moment her daughter started showing signs of becoming a little too nerdy and a little too witchy, she was like Nope, we're shutting this down as soon as we can.

Speaker 1:

So you know, it really was until I started in college that I allowed myself that type of freedom and that type of you know. You know making friends in that group, I should say, because you said, like, what attracted me to it? The community was such a big part of it. I mean, I currently I'm a part of one really large community that is actually technically still very small If you're going to compare it to something like Marvel or DC. This is a very small community of people, but we're still a lot of people.

Speaker 1:

And then another one that is even smaller, significantly smaller. The bigger one is critical role, which is a D&D. Some of you might know most of you won't, 99% of you won't, but it's the famous slogan is we're just a bunch of nerdy as voice actors that play D&D, and that's what they are. Their voice actors were nerdy and they played D&D and they streamed online. They have their own show now because there was a legion of us that wanted that D&D campaign to be turned into a TV show and everyone in that community is so loving and so empathetic and everybody is comes from so many different phases in life and you know it's like we talk about things that matter and we're very open to listen.

Speaker 1:

You know whether it's sexuality, whether it's, you know, hardships that you grew up with, the color of your skin and those hardships that go along with it. You know it's, it's a very loving community. They don't care if you're a black, brown, orange, purple, green, they don't care, they're very much. Hey, your heart is a thing that we're gonna protect, that's a thing that matters, that's what we're gonna help out each other and it's it's amazing. I was able to, you know, meet up with some of those cosplayers during comic on this year. You know, I made so many new friends and I mean, we're over here planning exchanging Christmas cards, you know.

Speaker 2:

They become the family that we wish we had when we were little, the best friends that we have, that we wish that we have it with little. And Part of creating community right, like or oasis, is that it's a community to come and just Take a break, grab tools that you need, meet people that you never thought that they're there. And the same with me was I do more anime cosplay Because I'm tiny, right, that fits my thing. But I was like, oh my gosh is Did you get to do all the processing emotionally with your character, right? And then when people want to take pictures with you and stuff like that.

Speaker 2:

But the most amazing thing that happened with that community is worldwide, no matter where I was because I travel a lot no matter what I was, I will find a cosplayer. I will find somebody that loves anime. I will have somebody that will love my tattoo because like, oh my gosh, where do you get that right? Right. And it was that community that, instead of like you know, kind of like I resonate what you said, instead of say, oh, your Latina, no, it was like, oh, you're a cosplayer, and it didn't matter if we couldn't barely speak the same language. We were like just pulling out a thing, so like, yeah, the pink one or like the glitter, right, mm-hmm. And yes, I grew up and then I become a professional and now my profession bleeds into that too. Right, like I do gig therapy, which before gigs we were not the thing, right.

Speaker 1:

We were absolutely not. Yeah, we were the outcast.

Speaker 2:

Now we're the popular ones. Now we're the cool.

Speaker 1:

We want to think that way, right. I mean, I know some people I work think it's the coolest thing in the world and some other ones are like oh girl, what are you doing? What is he doing, baby girl?

Speaker 2:

Right, but but that also teaches you to. It's like a thermometer of like the kindness and the openness of people to receive something that is different. Right, because yes, I get the same like why you doing right, but then daddy's telling me like, oh hon, you need more love in your life.

Speaker 2:

Oh yes acceptance and more kindness, right. But she's the one who's like, let's do this. And it's funny that you say the D&D, because People didn't know I did something called larping back in the college, which is dressing up as the character and play D&D. It was amazing thing. And you know you, you go to the woods and like, yeah, you see all these people dress like fairies and witches and stuff like that. And, yeah, the adults in your life when I say adults is the people that is more rich and Will be like, oh, this is against, especially if you come from a very religious background. Yes, ma'am, it's like I'm trying to heal my religious trauma, my childhood trauma, through being me, right, and if I cannot be me in the world, I can be different things, right. Right, one thing that I love is when they put it in. What is this year's where they put D&D and the holes in the 80s summer 80s, baby and Stranger things? When they put it in yeah, if you haven't seen it FYI, spoilers come in for season three Right. When they do the the D&D and how they demonize them because in reality, they were the kindest, sweetest people, right.

Speaker 2:

So let's talk about what you say. We get such a bad rap when we go to Disney and dressed up and all that and we're, that's all and people is like that is only for kids. Why are you going there? Why are you taking space? That doesn't belong to you, right? What gives you going to? I want that goes tricky training.

Speaker 2:

By the way, if you haven't gone as an adult, you get the big, the biggest pieces of of because you know like Climbing and all that. Good for you if you do that. I have my era like that, that. But now I just like to go trick-or-treating with everybody else, right? So when we go to Disney or any of these places and you feel it still the misplace, right, you feel still like a little bit like you don't belong here. But now we have create that backbone that I don't care, I am here for me, right? So tell me your experience. How did you say it's very recent for you to go and start like dressing up? But if you guys don't know, the only ones are allowed to dress up our little kids, adults. We do something different called what you know baby.

Speaker 1:

Disney bounding.

Speaker 2:

Can you explain the public what that means?

Speaker 1:

Sure, so Disney founding is ultimately a closet cosplay. That's what I call it. Well, the community of cosplayers call it closet cosplay to closet cosplay, but essentially what that means is thinking things they already have in your closet. You can always buy stuff if you want I know I do sometimes but you just kind of put an outfit together that is inspired by a character that you love from Disneyland. Like you know, right now there's a big resurgence of and I love this so much, I just want to put that out there.

Speaker 1:

I love this so much for Hercules, so I literally dressed up as Megara, you know, quote unquote, without really wearing a costume. I bought a cute like lilac purple dress, tied it up to make it look like a Greek dress quote unquote from you know the cartoons and you know, did my hair, put on some sandals that are comfy, because it's still Disneyland, you will still want to be comfy and you just, you know you go to the park, take some cute pictures, meet people, a lot of the characters that are official, that work there. Oh wait, like they usually get really excited and they see you Disney bounding and you'll like interact with you. And you know you just dress up as a character that you really like, but like your version. You know, use fashion with it. You know you can be super simple or you can be super elaborate. There's no rules as long as you're not wearing an actual costume, because, like you said, adults are not allowed to wear costumes at Disneyland unless you're going, like right now during this time of year, right? So the boogie boogie bash is happening, which is an event that you pay for additional. In the evening you get to wear your costumes. A bunch of people are wearing costumes.

Speaker 1:

Personally, I have a blast at those events because I love seeing people's creativity with whatever it is they decided to put together. But it's, you know, it's fun and it's casual and you know you get to do it with your friends if you really want to. Ideally, I would have really liked to be Meg and then for like a few friends to be like pain and panic and just like you know, do like a little thing would have been fine. But it's cute and it's simple and it doesn't have to be crazy. Or some people say it's stressful. I don't think it's stressful at all, but then again, this is, this is my jam. You know, I love the idea of putting stuff together, but that's essentially Disney bounding.

Speaker 2:

And what do you think little Genoveva thinks about that?

Speaker 1:

Where the heck did she get that confidence? I think that's what. That's what little Viva would think, because, lord knows, I'm in my 30s, in my early 30s, and it's not until now that I understand what confidence really is, because I could always pretend I was confident. I have this thing where I come off as very confident and people have told me this I did. I never saw it, but now I understand what confidence is and it really is very similar to what you just said a few minutes ago.

Speaker 1:

When people try to put you down or try and make you feel smaller and they don't want you to take up space, you don't end up feeling bad for yourself, you don't feel embarrassed. You end up feeling like oh wow, I'm sorry that you don't understand what level I'm at. And it's not. I'm not trying to say that in a condescending way at all, it's more of a like you need to see what I see. I wish you saw what I saw, because it's so liberating to feel safe in my skin and what I'm wearing and in the space I'm in. You know, like little me and 20 something year on me was not confident. I was really good at posing, but now it feels like this is who I am and I'm okay, evolving, and I'm not embarrassed that.

Speaker 1:

I love doing things that some people would use the word cringe. Right, they'll weaponize it and call you cringy and I'm like, okay, cool. Then guess what? I am cringe and cringe is me and I love it because I'm not doing anything that's hurting anyone and I'm just celebrating something that I should have celebrated when I was little, you know, but I wasn't allowed to, for whatever reason. And I'm not trying to demonize anyone at all. It's just a lot of people are afraid of what will people say. You know the perception of others, and little me would never have even come to the you know, footsteps of understanding what that means. What is confidence? What does it mean to love the skin that you're in and enjoy your time with people without feeling like, hey, I might be too loud, hey, I might look too crazy, hey, I might, you know, make someone else feel uncomfortable. That's not a thing anymore for me. So at least 90% of the time I'm not perfect. The other 10% give or take. You know, give or take.

Speaker 2:

And also what I love about you to say is the confidence is something that we learn right and, as Latinas, is something that is taken away from us. And also, yeah, or parents did the best that they could. Again in survival mode. Try to have fun when you're trying to survive is really hard. So, now that we have done all the things that they were expected from us, what I love about cosplay or just dressing up in that can also with fashion and other stuff, not in the consumerism part of it, but in the expression of it, because you can be, like when we were talking about Comic Con, right, it's a huge commercial stuff, but all the cosplayers I mean I was dressed as a squirrel or something like that. For people, that's what people like. Oh, you're a squirrel, like no, but okay, and I have a night. It was like a wall gown, like that thing is like a quinceañera kind of dress, and that is because some of us we never have the chance to like either have the quinceañera or like something happened that it wasn't what we wanted, is what our parents wanted, or like in your case.

Speaker 2:

I love when you guys go check which I will put in this footnote Genevieve's Instagram. She was pink, like I wish I can have a pink skin like her, from head to toe. She was pink Honoring this goddess of the Olympus, and I'm not going to read it for you guys. You guys go and check it out. That's amazing things in there and it reminds me when I saw you in that in the reason why I invite you. So I have talked to briefly with the person that does her universe and she is an amazing human being, right. What I love about her is that everybody go down to her like why you dress up, why you do this, so why you will leave or audience with like give them two tips about if they want to curious around, either dressing up for Halloween, cosplay or just in that community we live with be loud, be kind, be proud slogan. So why you will leave them with what cosplay and dressing up has done for you and your healing.

Speaker 1:

Honestly. I first of all, I love that slogan. I just I just want to say that that's perfect, because I feel like my two cents are essentially echoing that. It really is about liberate yourself. Do not be afraid of people judging you, because, whether or not you're happy, they're going to judge.

Speaker 1:

It's okay to let yourself exist in other people's space and it's okay to stand out, because people will always make you feel like it's not okay, like you're too full of yourself, and I heard that one a lot when I was little. I look at your the she's too full of herself. You're like okay, it's okay. It's okay to take a space and it's okay to be excited and have, you know, so much love in your heart that you don't know what to do with it, and then you put it into a costume. It's, it's okay. I mean, it's empowering. Try it.

Speaker 1:

If you've never done it before, try it, please do, because every single friend I've had that asks me about this and has never cosplayed has never dressed up for Halloween, or at least hasn't since they were like five years old. They dressed up for the first time in years last year and they cannot wait to see when it's their turn to like finally buy tickets for Comic Con, dress up with me to like a cop was costume, like to gender bending, like all the crazy fun stuff. Take up space, have so much fun with it, let it. Let it heal. You don't fight it, because there's nothing more liberating and joy inducing than expressing yourself to your fullest form. They're just isn't yeah.

Speaker 2:

Thank you, and I say the same cosplayers are, we put the love that sometimes we didn't receive ourselves in our customs or their presentation of what we wanted Right. So thank you so much, you know, for being with us. We love you. We will have her more times, don't worry, guys. Probably for our Spanish part of the podcast. And if you, are you doing something special for Halloween? Are you going to any conventions where people can find you?

Speaker 1:

Oh girl, so many things. I'm actually going to another convention very soon. I'm very excited. It's going to be a Twin Cities. So Minneapolis, minnesota Never been there, never traveled for a con Very excited. I will be pink again, but I will also be yellow and I might be wearing a blue wig for Ramona flowers. I love my Ramona flowers cosplay, but yeah, it's gonna be fun. That's going to be November 1st till the 6th. I think I'll be out there and you know I've got a concert tonight and then another one on Sunday, but you know I just have so much going on for Halloween. We are doing a costume contest. Probably we'll go with Barbie Not gonna lie, western Barbie because she was kind of a big deal this year and I appreciate her. So, yeah, and you can find me on Instagram at Viva La Viva underscore yeah, same as Shanae and CBB, unhinged and have fun.

Speaker 2:

Thank you so much and I will put all the links in the bio of this and Genoveva. A pleasure having you in our podcast and we thank you. Thank you for the girl.

Speaker 1:

No, I thank you girl. Thank you so much. This is so fun. It's such a pleasure Love you.

Speaker 2:

If you liked this episode, please share it and go to Instagram at our Oasis podcast, to continue your talk and discussions about this topic. And remember, be kind, be loud, be proud and be 100%. You here at our or Oasis, we see you and we love you. Until next time where we see you here in the little corner of the universe where you can be completely you.