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Men’s Mental Health: Shifting Perspectives and Starting Conversations

• Sarita Kittell • Season 2 • Episode 10

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Ready to shatter the stereotypes? Join your host, Sarita Kitel, on this enlightening journey where we dismantle the damaging mindsets and societal barriers that prevent men from seeking mental health support. 

  1. https://1in6.org/ 1 in 6 men have been sexually abused or assaulted.
  2. Men's Health Network www.menshealthnetwork.org
  3. Heads Up Guys A resource specifically for men dealing with depression. www.headsupguys.org
  4. Man Therapy   www.mantherapy.org
  5.  Movember Movember   www.movember.com
  6.   (NIMH) Offers a variety of information on mental health disorders affecting men. www.nimh.nih.gov
  7.  The Good Men Project.  www.goodmenproject.com
  8. Men's Shed Association www.mensshed.org
  9. Real Men Real Depression  National Institute of Mental Health to encourage men with depression to seek help. www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/men-and-depression.

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Speaker 1:

Hello everyone and welcome to season 2 at Oroasis podcast. I am Sarita Kitel, your host and mental skills coach. Here, your soul, your body and your spirit are 100% welcome and accepted. You are not alone here, nor judge, so grab a cup of coffee, tea or anything that warms your soul. We are going to lean into our slogan of be kind to yourself, be brave, be loud and be strong, and let's get cozy and have a chat. Before we dive into today's topic, it's essential that we know that, while I'm a therapist and a mental health professional, this podcast is not a substitute for therapy, nor I am your therapist. The stories and discussions that we share here are meant to inform you and inspire you, but should not replace professional advice or support. If you know someone or you are struggling with your mental health, please seek professional help. In the footnotes of this content, you will find emergency help lines and websites. And don't forget to like us and subscribe to Oroasis podcast and Instagram, and also sign the email list that is at the end of the footnotes of this episode. Since you grabbed your cup of coffee, tea or anything that warms your soul, let's talk about today's topic.

Speaker 1:

Today, we are going to dedicate the whole month of November to men's mental health. November is associated with growing your mustache or facial hair in order to talk about men's issues. It's also a vital time to spotlight the mental health and challenges that men face, so this episode is dedicated to talk about it. So why would you decide to talk specifically to men's mental health? Well, mental health doesn't discriminate, but there is a disparity in how men and women report or seek for mental health issues. Men are less likely to reach out for support due to a variety of reasons, including social expectations, stigma, and then November was aimed to change that, to create a conversation, and you know, here at Oroasis we like to create spaces to converse and to talk and to change maybe one or two perspectives in our lives.

Speaker 1:

Statistically, men are more at risk for certain mental health illnesses and issues like substance abuse and suicide, and they are also less likely to receive any form of support. It is a harsh reality that often masks by the toff it out be a man attitude, but there is the thing Acknowledging the problem is the first step to healing and friendly trigger, warning that we will be talking about suicide and statistics that can maybe be disturbing for some. So please take care of you and if you need to come back to this episode later, please do so. And if you know of anybody that is suffering from mental health or yourself needs some assistance or help, there is in the footnote all the emergency phone numbers and resources. So let's get some statistics.

Speaker 1:

Men are more likely to not report any anxiety, attention deficit disorder, mild depression to severe depression. In fact, anxiety disorders affects 42.5 million male adults in USA. Depression affects 21 million and men are more likely to die by lethal suicide other than women, to the struggling rate of 3.90 times more likely to proceed with lethal matters of suicide. It is a harsh reality that often masks the whole toxicity of masculinity, of tough at all attitude or the work environments of like men don't cry, or I will give you a reason for. But there is the thing acknowledging and breaking down the barriers is the first step that we are going to take all together to talk about mental health in men. So let's dive into the barriers, from boys don't cry mindset to the pressures of being the provider, be the manly man or simply don't have the resources in the place of work. There is lines of work that medical professionals, land force men, first responder, active duty military firefighters don't have a lot of resources or there's a stigmatization that you pick these careers then you knew what you were getting into and you're not allowed to have feelings.

Speaker 1:

Another heartbreaking statistic is that one in six males have have any kind of sexual assault either in childhood or adolescent. Sexual violence against men is a significant issue, with many cases un reported, according to rain. Fears of retaliation or beliefs of the policing wound to help our amount of reasons that victims choose not to report Because a lot of the times that sexuality or their belief systems is questioned even by professionals when they try to go get help. So think about that. One in six children, the armail they have to live with this and the way that it shows up is to the accepted ways that they can show emotions such as anger, anxiety at first in the self-medication, like addiction.

Speaker 1:

If your loved one, your dad, your brother, your significant other, your friend is struggling, know that there's help available. Organizations like the Institute of National Mental Health, men's Health Network and 106 are groups that help males to create spaces where they can be seen and they can talk and, moreover, the Foundation offers a well of resources free therapy, free support groups locally, so you can find what you need A male therapist or a therapist specialized in the particular career that you are into and knows the nuances of getting help. I make some include the links under the resources in this episode, so please grab them, have them in your phone and pass it to all your friends and family, because you never know when somebody can need it and they suffer in it quietly. Now, this is part of creating a support space. Creating supported spaces for men is something that we can all contribute to. This can be as simple as listening without judgment and encouraging open conversation and remind the men in your life that it's okay not to be okay, in particular, those that are in very demanding roles, such as military, personal, law enforcement, medical profession. They face unique challenges, which has shown over and over that these occupations they tend to commit suicide in more lethal ways, at more higher rates. In the future episodes of November, we will have amazing men that not only have created spaces to talk about mental health. Also they do it in a very particular, specific kind of clever way to talk to that community and say hey, man, I know you're not okay, I'm not okay, let's not be okay together and help each other. So don't miss the November episodes that are going to be a way for us to create a supported space, to create a conversation. Creating supported spaces for men is something that we all can contribute. This can be simply as listening, as I say before, or encourage an open conversation, but sometimes we do need a person that has gone through what we have gone through in order to understand it. So, tip of the day if you are not a male, don't tell a male. I know how you feel, you can tell them, I know how depression feels, I know how anxiety feels, etc. So I will have amazing men talking about that. So don't miss those episodes that are coming in in month of November.

Speaker 1:

Mental health is crucial as physical health, yet ignore especially amount of males. Let's discuss why this matters. While we can change the narrative, there is numbers that tell the story, as I mentioned before, the statistics of the struggle, but it's also a lot of statistics that show hope. A lot of the stigma has been lifted little by little. The stigma around mental health can be suffocating in cultural silence that we must challenge. Let's talk about how traditional views of masculinity contribute to the stigma and how we can redefine them.

Speaker 1:

How many of you have experienced a male crying and you don't know what to do? You are like all freaking out, like saying, what do I do? Males don't suppose to cry. And if he's crying, what did that mean? Understanding the stigma and the signs of this stress can be life changing and life saving for many males. But what that looks like is not always sadness or crying. That is actually. If you see a male in those stages is like their anxiety or their depression are in high. In many can be anger, excessive drinking or overworking kind of work-alism. Those are signs, red flags that are flashing at you saying, hey, your men is struggling in distracting themselves or self-medicating with drinking, avoiding the issue, the situation, working themselves to death. And the anger is just because it's the only emotion that we allow males to feel. So let's create spaces where, like, they can decompress, they can talk, they can journal and they can be okay if they need to cry or feel all the feels. It is not just knowing about the signs, it's about overcoming the barriers to seek help. How do we build an environment that supports mental health for men when we are always telling the men need to be tough enough or they are the bad guys of the equation. Don't get me wrong. There is a lot of harm that it has been done to the female population and others through the male gaze, but not all of them are like that and all of them are pile on that. So we're doing the same thing that we have been kind of break through years to not stigmatize and demonize the older in order for us to feel any kind of way.

Speaker 1:

We were discussing today is just the beginning. In coming weeks we'll have guests. We will share their journeys, their struggles and victories in mental health challenges and how society creates a space for them or did not create a space for them, and we will have another episode in Spanish with also guests in Spanish, if you want to share that, because there's a different kind of nuances there. Let's talk about the simple mindfulness exercise that you can do at home to alleviate distress, for example. Self care is not selfish. Self care is that caring for you. That way you can care for others.

Speaker 1:

Taking a day off, taking a mental health day, having apps such as Calm Headspace. There is great meditations in YouTube that are actually designed for males or they have used I like this one that is a video game, let's go Floy, and it's literally you have to be in a bike and you have to bike in order to do the breathing exercise. But it's very intense In a lot of males like it because it's very competitive and at the same time, they are taking care of their mental health by doing exercising and learning how to breathe. And again, I keep insisting, I will put resources and links in the footnotes and also you can go to Instagram at Oroasis Podcasts, where we will have little tips and notes about mental health for males during November. And this includes your children and your teenager, because they also suffer from different kinds of nuances, especially in the expectations of social media and how all masculinity is portrayed in society these days.

Speaker 1:

And, like I said today, it was just a talk, it was just like hey, have you thought about this? Because we want to keep as many people alive as we can. Your designs, if your friend, your dad, your brother, your loved one was struggling with anger, drinking problems or all of a sudden, after many, many months or even weeks of struggling with being so angry don't talk to me, don't look at me and then, all of a sudden, they're very happy, calm. That is a red, red red flag and I encourage you to please talk to them when they are like that. Again, there's resources, and don't miss the next episodes that we will have incredible guests that will talk about their journey.

Speaker 1:

Today I just want to leave you with the thought of do you ask your person today how they're doing? Do you ask them or offer them a space to decompress? Maybe a video game, maybe a sparkly water, maybe offering them to have a day off with you or without the stresses of the home? We are all in a very hyper stress society, so taking a break to just breathe, to just actually question how our body feels, how our mind feels and how our sensations are it, can help to save a life. So I invite you to have a meditation today, have a journal prompt today with your loved one and have you show appreciation today just because they are alive in your life.

Speaker 1:

And today I watched a mini informational reminder that the month of November is to check in our minds, in our life, and to become aware that in this world there's many of us that are suffering, but we don't have to suffer alone. To create spaces where talk is okay and getting help is okay. Until next week, where we will have an amazing guest. If you liked this episode, please share it and go to Instagram at Oroasis podcast to continue your talk and discussions about this topic. And remember, be kind, be loud, be proud and be 100%. You here at Oroasis, we see you and we love you Until next time where we see you here in the little corner of the universe, where you can find the small and special things you already seen. We will be talking to you soon. You.